All language subtitles for young.sheldon.s02e15.internal.720p.web.x264-bamboozle

ADULT SHELDON: It should
come as no surprise

that the very first
grade I ever received

was a "super-duper."

Granted it was for
counting spots on a ladybug,

but still, I nailed it.

Even as the difficulty
of assignments grew,

I maintained the same
level of excellence.

INGRAM: Good job, Cooper.

That's just sad, Cooper.

ADULT SHELDON: In every
class, in every subject,

I was perfect.

Which is why this day hit
me like a ton of bricks.

MEEMAW: Hey, moonpie.

Ready to go?

Look at this.

95? That's terrific.

No. If it was terrific, it would say 100

with the word "terrific" next to it.

Don't sweat it, you'll
get 100 next time.

But I should have gotten it this time.

Dr. Sturgis made a mistake.

And we're sweatin' it.

Dr. Sturgis, I believe you've
made an error grading my test.

Let me see.

No, you didn't calculate
using Maxwell's equations.

Maxwell's equation my sweet patootie!

- [MUSIC PLAYING OVER RADIO]
- You like Willie Nelson?

That would require
knowing the permeability

of free space and natural units.

- [MUSIC VOLUME INCREASES]
- I suppose...

I like Willie Nelson.

...an electric field, but
that would still require...

♪ Nobody else is stronger than I am ♪

♪ Yesterday I moved a mountain ♪

♪ I bet I could be your hero ♪

♪ I am a mighty little man ♪

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Morning, Peg.

I need to run Sunday's bulletin

- by Pastor Jeff. Is he in?
- [JEFF COUGHING]

Yep.

[COUGHING CONTINUES]

Is he coming down with somethin'?

Yep. [COUGHS]

Oh, my, are you sick, too?

[COUGHING]: Never better.

Okay.

Hello.

Oh, hey, Mary, come on in.

- [SNIFFLES]
- I-I'm fine here.

Um, I have Sunday's bulletin

for your approval. And
I wanted to ask about

ordering the palms for Palm Sunday.

I know it's early, but
as you remember last year,

we waited too long and
First United Methodist

snatched up all the perky ones.

[SNIFFLES, GROANS]

Ooh.

Should you be here right
now? You look terrible.

I feel terrible.

Well, then go home, let
your wife take care of you.

You'd think she'd do that, but no.

Ooh. Well, you should
at least go see a doctor.

I can't. The Walker couple
is coming in for counseling.

If you rescheduled, I'm
sure they'd understand.

Hey, what if you did it?

Marriage counseling?

Don't you need some sort
of training for that?

Nah, you just listen, uh,

give 'em a couple prayers,
send 'em on their way.

- Okay, if you really want me to.
- I do.

In fact, for the rest of
the day, you're in charge.

All right? The bulletins,
the palms, it's all you.

Well, all right, um,

but only if you promise to
go home and get some rest.

Sure. Home, movie theater,
food court, somewhere.

[GROANING]

Today we're gonna
work on interior angles

of a convex polygon.

Georgie, where's your brother?

I don't know, do you
really want him here?

Convex polygons are polygons...

Sheldon, why aren't
you in second period?

I'm working on this math problem.

I think you might be the
first person in history

who's ever cut class to do math.

The irony wasn't lost on me.

Oh, hey, 95. Good job.

Really? I'm here every day

and it's like you don't know me at all.

Oh, okay. Um...

aw, 95, too bad.

There we go.

Anything you can tell
me about the Walkers?

Not really, just a couple of newlyweds

trying to figure it out.

Well, marriage is hard.

- I'll never know.
- Oh...

don't think that way.

I'm sure there's someone
out there for you.

Oh, no, that's not the problem.

I just don't want to
waste this on just one guy.

Sorry we're late.

Someone couldn't decide on a hat.

- Sorry.
- Oh, that's all right.

Hi, I'm Mary Cooper, I'm gonna
be doing your session today.

Oh, what happened to Pastor Jeff?

He's out sick and asked me to fill in.

- Oh, okay.
- But don't worry,

you're in good hands. I've
been married for 15 years

and whatever you're going through,

I'm sure I've been
through it several times.

PEG: Francine?

I dig your hat. [COUGHS]

So when we first started dating,

he would plan these elaborate
picnics by the lake...

You know, like a real picnic
with the red and white blanket.

- Oh, gingham, sweetie, it's called gingham.
- Yeah.

And after you got married,

all the picnics and wooing ended?

No, no, not at all. No.

In fact, Elliot's more dotin' than ever.

He knows that tulips are my favorite,

so every week there's
a fresh-cut bouquet

on my nightstand.

I own the flower shop
across from the post office.

Well, y'all seem hunky-dory.

I'm confused, what's the issue?

Well, um, we're having
trouble in the, you know...

[WHISPERS]: The bedroom.

Oh.

- [DIALING]
- Sheldon, what are you doing here?

They wouldn't let me use the
phone in the principal's office.

- [LINE RINGING]
- Who are you calling?

Dr. Sturgis... It's a math emergency.

[SCOFFS] Don't you think

you should've asked my permission first?

It's ringing. Yes or no?

You know what? I don't care.

STURGIS: Hello?

Dr. Sturgis, this is Sheldon.
You're wrong and I can prove it.

Is that so?

It is so.

All right, little man, bring it on.

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Go ahead, Sheldon, I'm all ears.

Well, when I'm done, you're
going to be all tears.

Okay, fellas, let's keep it civil.

You claim that the only way
to calculate the magnetic field

in QCD units is using
Maxwell's equations,

but you're completely
discrediting energy density.

But you're still off.

By a factor of 3.54.

Which would seem insignificant,

but when examined closely,

you realize that it's the
square root of four times pi.

Your point being?

Rationalized and non-rationalized units

differ by four times pi...

Anyone with a basic
knowledge of electric

and magnetic fields would know that.

I'm lost. Are we still being civil?

It's all right, Connie.

Sheldon's trying to
justify his shortcut.

Not a shortcut,

a more elegant and efficient method

to achieve the correct answer.

Well, I applaud the effort, young man.

Don't treat me like a child,
treat me like a colleague.

Fine. This is the stupidest
thing I've ever seen.

How could you say that?! [CRYING]

What are you doing?

Treating him like a colleague.

Do you and your
colleagues make each other

run out of the room crying like that?

Sometimes.

But we run slower, 'cause we're old.

And then he said, "For
the rest of the day,

- you're in charge."
- Mm.

Those were his exact
words. Can you believe it?

"You're in charge."

- Well, that's great.
- And thanks to me,

this year United Methodist
is gonna get stuck

with all the limp palms.

Well, I don't know what
that means, but good for you.

I even did some marriage counseling

for a couple of young newlyweds.

Ooh, what kind of trouble they having?

Oh, it's all confidential;
I really can't say.

Well, I don't need specifics,

just, you know, general terms.

They're having sexual problems.

Really?

Newlyweds?

But we all prayed on it

and then the answer
came clear as a bell.

Yeah?

The husband is under
a lot of stress at work

and it's diminishing
his natural desires.

Huh. What kind of work does he do

he's got so much stress?

He owns that flower shop
across from the post office.

Flower shop. Huh.

You've seen it. It's
called The Pretty Petunia.

Huh.

GEORGE SR.: So, Sheldon,

you and Dr. Sturgis figure out

your math emergency?

I'd rather not talk about it.

Me neither.

[PHONE RINGING]

That's probably for me.

I'm really getting popular.

What's a math emergency?

- That's when things don't add up. [CHUCKLES]
- MISSY: Hello?

Oh, come on, guys, that was a good one.

MISSY: Mom, it's Pastor Jeff!

Mm, excuse me.

To answer your question, Georgie,

it's when a scientist is too immature

to admit when he's wrong.

Maybe you're too immature.

MEEMAW: Gentlemen, please.

I'm sorry, but when someone
with way less experience

accuses me of not knowing

what I'm talking about,
my hackles are up.

What's a hackle?

Well, if he's wrong,
then teach him to be right

instead of berating him
like a big ol' jackass.

That's very hurtful!

- [DOOR CLOSES]
- Well, how 'bout that?

They do run slower.

Good news! I get to go visit a shut-in.

What the hell is going on today?

GILFORD: It's open.

MAN 1 [ON TV]: What's up, Schultz?

MAN 2 [ON TV]: Are you asking me? [CHUCKLES]

Haven't you learned that I
know nothing, I see nothing...

Hello? Mr. Gilford?

Who are you?

Hi, I'm Mary Cooper from the church.

Pastor Jeff is out sick,

so he asked me to
bring over your dinner.

- Steak fingers?
- With extra gravy.

Where's my Mr. Pibb?

Oh, right here.

You want me to open it for you?

I've got hands.

Maybe while you eat
we could chat a little.

I'm old, I'm alone, I'm gonna die soon.

- There, we've chatted.
- Okay.

If you're not in the
mood for conversation,

maybe there's something
else I could do for you.

Haven't had a sponge bath in a while.

Does Pastor Jeff give you a sponge bath?

Sure does.

Mr. Gilford.

No...

- Lights out?
- In a minute.

[SIGHS] I may not understand
exactly what's going on

with you and Dr. Sturgis, but
you can't be rude to an adult.

What if they're wrong?

Doesn't matter. There are plenty
of stupid people in the world,

but when they're older than you,
you got to show them respect.

I understand, sir. Thank you
for your incredibly wise advice.

Okay.

Did you just call Dad stupid
without calling him stupid?

Yes.

Here, let me get that.

And, uh, while I'm cleaning up,

I could also tackle some of, um...

Don't touch anything!
I like it the way it is.

Could I at least open a
window, get you some fresh air?

It's not necessary.
I've got some right here.

[INHALES DEEPLY]

Mind if I make some room to sit?

You're staying?

Yes, I'm staying. I'm
here to keep you company.

Why? So you'll look like
some kind of Good Samaritan?

Because God calls on us
to serve our fellow man.

Romans 12:13, "Share with
the Lord's people who are..."

- What are you doing?
- Quoting scripture.

Well, I don't want to hear that.

You don't want to hear the Bible?

Not from some woman.

- Excuse me?
- Where have you been?

Women don't preach in our church.

Well, I'm not in our church,
I'm in your living room,

which is, by the way, disgusting.

I'm sorry I called you a jackass.

[CHUCKLES] A "big, old jackass."

But it's okay, I deserved it.

Don't be too hard on yourself.

Sheldon's always been
difficult to deal with.

I'm not upset that he's difficult,

I'm upset that he's right.

Really?

And you're just now saying something?

Energy density, rationalized
and non-rationalized units,

I can't believe I missed it.

Well, like you said,
everybody makes a mistake.

But it was so obvious.

A younger me would've seen it.

I think I'm losing a step.

You're not alone.

The other night I had bingo for
five moves, didn't even know it.

[LAUGHS] Were you drinking?

It's bingo, of course I was drinking.

- [BOTH LAUGH]
- Don't worry about it.

We'll lose a step together.

Thank you, Bonnie.

You see that? I made a joke about it.

- Never do it again.
- Yes, ma'am.

- Hey, Sheldon.
- Hello.

You get that test problem sorted out?

No, I'm afraid Dr. Sturgis and
I are still at a math impasse.

- Oh, I hate those.
- Thank you for asking.

I appreciate it. And how are you doing?

Since when are you interested?

My father told me I should
be kind to old people.

How old do you think I am?

My father also told me if
a woman ever asks you that,

it's a trap.

Smart man.

But I'll say 53.

Peg, we got any more of
those fancy binder clips?

Bottom right drawer.

Oh! Um, hi.

Y...

You're back. Uh, feeling better?

No.

Then what are you doing here?
Why aren't you home in bed?

Because not everybody has a
happy marriage, Mary, okay?

Sorry.

How's everything going around here?

Really well. I had a lovely
session with the Walkers.

I think that they're gonna be
fruitful and multiplying soon.

[CHUCKLES] And, um,

I had a visit with our
shut-in, Mr. Gilford.

He's quite the character, isn't he?

- That's a nice way to put it.
- Yeah, well, you got to

give him a pass, what
with all he's been through.

What's he been through?

Mary, that man sitting all
alone in that mess of a house

is a genuine war hero.

People like you and me'll never
understand what he went through.

I didn't know.

Well, he sure won't talk about
it. He give you a hard time?

Yeah, and-and I kind of
gave him one right back.

Would you mind if I went back over there

and gave it another go?

By all means. I got to lay down.

Hey, Peg, if my wife calls, tell her...

You know what, oh, she's not gonna call.

Never mind.

[COUGHING]

Mr. Gilford, it's Mary Cooper again.

- [TV PLAYING]
- Mr. Gilford?

[GASPS]

Mr. Gilford?

[INDISTINCT CHATTER]

[CLEARS THROAT]

- You a relative?
- No.

Friend?

I was trying.

Okay, well, sorry. Coroner's on his way.

Thank you.

This is some mess, huh?

[EXHALES] It's how he liked it.

[KNOCKING]

May I come in?

I guess.

I looked over your work again and, uh,

the math was correct.

Really?

You were right...

and I was, uh, wrong.

Sorry I doubted you.

Wow. It must be really
hard for you to admit that.

Well, yes.

But, uh, I thought it could be
a learning opportunity for you.

What do you mean?

I wanted to show you that being wrong

is not the end of the world.

Oh, okay. Thank you.

ADULT SHELDON: Dr. Sturgis was a wise man.

It was a learning opportunity.

And when the day comes that I'm wrong,

I fully plan to admit it.

Okay, before we finish up, I'd
like to call up Mary Cooper,

who has a few words she'd like to say.

Thank you, Pastor Jeff.

[CLEARS THROAT]
As some of you might know,

we lost a member of our congregation.

James Gilford passed
away earlier this week.

If that name isn't familiar to you,

don't feel bad, it wasn't to me either.

But in the last few days,

I've gotten to learn
a little bit about him.

He was married to his wife,
Meredith, for over 45 years,

he was a lieutenant in the Army,

and, forgive him for this,

a big fan of the Dallas Cowboys.

[LAUGHTER]

But even if you didn't know him,
I hope that you'll still join me

in celebrating his life this Wednesday

at the American Legion. Thank you.

Oh, um, and if there's anyone who's able

to help me clean out his
house, please let me know.

Ooh, you know I love to
tackle clutter. We'll do it!

Oh, thank you.

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