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[Zoe] Have you ever heard the expression
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00:00:02,048 --> 00:00:04,825
"be careful what you wish for?"
3
00:00:04,935 --> 00:00:06,888
Our girl is getting married.
4
00:00:06,888 --> 00:00:09,890
And to a handsome paramedic
with full benefits.
5
00:00:09,925 --> 00:00:12,459
Dreams really do come true.
6
00:00:12,494 --> 00:00:14,228
And I have an entire night
7
00:00:14,262 --> 00:00:16,172
of bachelorette debauchery planned.
8
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- Ooh!
- And after this,
9
00:00:17,617 --> 00:00:18,817
we gonna get in that limo...
10
00:00:18,851 --> 00:00:20,118
- Mm-hmm...
- We gonna get some dinner...
11
00:00:20,153 --> 00:00:21,753
- Okay.
- then maybe stop for some fro-yo.
12
00:00:21,788 --> 00:00:23,021
[both] What?
13
00:00:23,056 --> 00:00:24,956
I'm just playing. We 'bout to get turnt!
14
00:00:24,991 --> 00:00:25,857
- Aah!
- Okay!
15
00:00:25,892 --> 00:00:27,059
Come on, somebody. [laughing]
16
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Thank you so much.
17
00:00:28,094 --> 00:00:29,161
Excuse me, miss.
18
00:00:29,195 --> 00:00:31,296
Driver says that's your
limo parked out front?
19
00:00:31,330 --> 00:00:33,065
Oh...
20
00:00:33,099 --> 00:00:35,734
Need to have it moved, or
I'm gonna have it towed.
21
00:00:35,768 --> 00:00:37,335
I see what's going on here.
22
00:00:37,370 --> 00:00:39,805
Y'all knew I wouldn't be
happy without a stripper.
23
00:00:39,839 --> 00:00:41,707
I didn't hire no stripper.
24
00:00:41,741 --> 00:00:43,442
- You didn't?
- No!
25
00:00:45,678 --> 00:00:46,645
I did.
26
00:00:46,679 --> 00:00:49,381
[all cheering]
27
00:00:49,415 --> 00:00:50,782
Make it rain, baby!
28
00:00:50,817 --> 00:00:52,718
Get to it! Get to it! Get to it!
29
00:00:52,752 --> 00:00:54,119
Da-da-da-da-da-da.
30
00:00:54,153 --> 00:00:55,787
- Oh!
- What?
31
00:00:55,822 --> 00:00:57,689
Valent?, Valent?, I'm
getting it, I'm getting it!
32
00:00:57,724 --> 00:01:00,325
Turn it up, let me see you work...
33
00:01:00,359 --> 00:01:02,194
[Zoe narrating] Be
careful what you wish for
34
00:01:02,228 --> 00:01:04,496
because it might just walk into a bar
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00:01:04,530 --> 00:01:06,131
and see you grinding on a stripper.
36
00:01:06,165 --> 00:01:08,867
Twerk, let me, let
me see you turn up
37
00:01:08,901 --> 00:01:11,236
Turn it up, turn it up
let me see you turn up...
38
00:01:11,270 --> 00:01:13,505
Zoe
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Ever after
40
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Zoe
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I can't believe him.
42
00:01:19,178 --> 00:01:21,313
He didn't even come over to say hi.
43
00:01:21,347 --> 00:01:23,515
Well, what do you expect?
You got together with him...
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00:01:23,549 --> 00:01:25,016
Didn't have sex.
45
00:01:25,051 --> 00:01:26,585
- Got together with him again.
- Still didn't have sex.
46
00:01:26,619 --> 00:01:28,086
Then Gemini threw him out your house.
47
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- So you couldn't have sex...
- Lord...
48
00:01:29,922 --> 00:01:32,557
I am so sick and tired of
Gemini ruining things for me.
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So, don't let him.
50
00:01:34,569 --> 00:01:36,871
Go over there to Stephen
and tell him you're sorry.
51
00:01:36,905 --> 00:01:38,939
But don't go over there unless you're ready
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00:01:38,974 --> 00:01:40,775
to have sex.
53
00:01:40,809 --> 00:01:42,910
I'm not gonna beg some
man for his attention.
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- Mmm.
- If he can't see
55
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how fabulous I am, then that's his problem.
56
00:01:45,947 --> 00:01:47,047
Excuse me?
57
00:01:47,082 --> 00:01:50,751
I'd like to send a shot
to that man over there.
58
00:01:52,020 --> 00:01:53,454
But I will buy him a shot.
59
00:01:58,393 --> 00:01:59,427
[both] Ooh!
60
00:01:59,461 --> 00:02:01,162
Before you spin out of control,
61
00:02:01,196 --> 00:02:02,930
maybe he's on antibiotics.
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00:02:02,964 --> 00:02:05,065
Or he's in recovery.
63
00:02:05,100 --> 00:02:07,368
Or he's playing hard to get.
64
00:02:07,402 --> 00:02:09,203
Zoe, nah. No, baby.
65
00:02:09,237 --> 00:02:10,604
- Baby, please.
- I'm good.
66
00:02:10,639 --> 00:02:13,274
Don't do this. Ooh, Lord.
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00:02:13,308 --> 00:02:16,277
You're not on, uh, antibiotics, are you?
68
00:02:16,311 --> 00:02:18,012
[chuckles]
69
00:02:18,046 --> 00:02:20,281
It's nice to see you, Zoe.
70
00:02:20,315 --> 00:02:23,184
Um, look, Stephen, I just wanted to say
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00:02:23,218 --> 00:02:25,653
that I feel really bad about
how things ended with us,
72
00:02:25,687 --> 00:02:27,721
and I'm... I'm really sorry.
73
00:02:27,756 --> 00:02:30,391
I appreciate that, and I apologize
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00:02:30,425 --> 00:02:32,226
for not returning your calls.
75
00:02:32,260 --> 00:02:33,961
I forgive you.
76
00:02:33,995 --> 00:02:37,565
Truth is, you've got a
lot going on in your life
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00:02:37,599 --> 00:02:41,936
with your ex and the business and...
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00:02:41,970 --> 00:02:43,304
your ex.
79
00:02:43,338 --> 00:02:45,573
And I'm not sure I need
that kind of baggage
80
00:02:45,607 --> 00:02:46,907
in my life right now.
81
00:02:48,743 --> 00:02:50,110
I'm sorry.
82
00:02:50,145 --> 00:02:52,379
It's cool. Don't apologize.
83
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I mean, I get it.
84
00:02:53,882 --> 00:02:55,549
You're not a baggage handler.
85
00:02:55,584 --> 00:02:58,118
Yeah, that's cool. I'm good.
86
00:02:58,153 --> 00:02:59,920
You good?
87
00:02:59,955 --> 00:03:01,021
We good?
88
00:03:01,056 --> 00:03:02,723
- We good.
- We good.
89
00:03:02,757 --> 00:03:03,958
Good.
90
00:03:03,992 --> 00:03:07,027
Damn, boy, why you make it so hard?
91
00:03:07,062 --> 00:03:08,095
[elevator dings]
92
00:03:09,831 --> 00:03:10,598
Hey, Ma!
93
00:03:10,632 --> 00:03:11,999
- Hey, Ma.
- Hey, baby!
94
00:03:12,033 --> 00:03:13,701
- Guess what?
- What?
95
00:03:13,735 --> 00:03:15,836
Dad said I could go to
the fight on Saturday.
96
00:03:15,871 --> 00:03:17,605
Oh, did he?
97
00:03:17,639 --> 00:03:19,507
Uh, baby, why don't you go to your room
98
00:03:19,541 --> 00:03:21,242
and unpack your stuff, okay?
99
00:03:21,276 --> 00:03:22,676
[kiss]
100
00:03:25,080 --> 00:03:28,282
We never had a conversation
about X going to your fight.
101
00:03:28,316 --> 00:03:29,617
Oh, here you go.
102
00:03:29,651 --> 00:03:31,285
Listen, see, I'm fighting the biggest fight
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00:03:31,319 --> 00:03:32,686
of my career on Saturday.
104
00:03:32,721 --> 00:03:34,822
I don't wanna fight the
undercard with you tonight.
105
00:03:34,856 --> 00:03:37,491
Oh, I don't wanna fight, either.
106
00:03:37,526 --> 00:03:38,826
You don't?
107
00:03:38,860 --> 00:03:40,828
No.
108
00:03:40,862 --> 00:03:42,563
I know how big this
fight is for you, Gemini,
109
00:03:42,597 --> 00:03:44,331
but I just don't think
that X should be exposed
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00:03:44,366 --> 00:03:45,966
to that kind of violence at his age,
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00:03:46,001 --> 00:03:47,835
not on my watch.
112
00:03:47,869 --> 00:03:49,270
I mean, the boy is eight years old.
113
00:03:49,304 --> 00:03:50,471
He plays "Call Of Duty."
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He can come see his pops fight.
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00:03:51,973 --> 00:03:53,307
He plays "Call Of Duty"?
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00:03:53,341 --> 00:03:54,308
Not on my watch.
117
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[scoffs]
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Look, if things get rough,
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you'll be there with him.
120
00:04:02,851 --> 00:04:04,118
You are gonna be there, right?
121
00:04:06,288 --> 00:04:09,456
No, I won't.
122
00:04:09,491 --> 00:04:11,525
I'm gonna be at Pearl's
wedding Saturday night,
123
00:04:11,560 --> 00:04:13,961
and I'm gonna make sure
I'm nowhere near the bouquet
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00:04:13,995 --> 00:04:15,262
when she throws it.
125
00:04:15,297 --> 00:04:16,931
[chuckles] Okay, that's fair.
126
00:04:16,965 --> 00:04:18,499
Well, while you're dodging bouquets,
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my son could come to the fight.
128
00:04:20,858 --> 00:04:22,358
I'll send a car for him.
129
00:04:24,272 --> 00:04:26,273
Gemini, X isn't going.
130
00:04:27,409 --> 00:04:28,876
But afterwards, if you win...
131
00:04:28,910 --> 00:04:29,877
When I win.
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00:04:29,911 --> 00:04:30,911
When you win,
133
00:04:30,946 --> 00:04:33,113
and when everybody's chanting your name...
134
00:04:33,148 --> 00:04:34,548
Champ! Champ! Chiki-champ!
135
00:04:34,583 --> 00:04:35,616
That's my favorite part, yo.
136
00:04:35,650 --> 00:04:36,884
[both laughing]
137
00:04:36,918 --> 00:04:39,420
Yeah, after that, you can call X
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00:04:39,454 --> 00:04:43,190
and tell him how you
proved everybody wrong.
139
00:04:43,224 --> 00:04:44,825
Wow...
140
00:04:44,859 --> 00:04:49,099
I gotta say, I like this
kinder, less angry Z.
141
00:04:49,194 --> 00:04:51,762
It's very attractive on you, Mama.
142
00:04:51,796 --> 00:04:52,930
Thank you.
143
00:04:52,964 --> 00:04:54,331
So much better than the whole,
144
00:04:54,365 --> 00:04:56,433
"I got my fingernail polish,
145
00:04:56,468 --> 00:04:58,969
my makeup, I don't need you."
146
00:04:59,003 --> 00:05:01,238
Well, it's amazing how less angry you are
147
00:05:01,272 --> 00:05:03,107
when you've gotten rid of your baggage.
148
00:05:03,141 --> 00:05:04,808
[laughs] Mon ch?ri.
149
00:05:04,843 --> 00:05:07,177
That's cold-blooded.
That's cold-blooded.
150
00:05:07,412 --> 00:05:09,855
151
00:05:09,940 --> 00:05:11,907
- Where'd you get that cake?
- The kitchen.
152
00:05:11,942 --> 00:05:14,410
That better not be my sample wedding cake.
153
00:05:14,444 --> 00:05:17,246
Is your sample wedding cake
chocolate with mocha filling?
154
00:05:17,280 --> 00:05:19,248
Yes!
155
00:05:19,282 --> 00:05:20,750
No!
156
00:05:20,784 --> 00:05:22,418
Ugh!
157
00:05:22,452 --> 00:05:24,553
So, this wedding thing's really happening?
158
00:05:24,588 --> 00:05:26,756
You bet your ass it is, Papi.
159
00:05:26,790 --> 00:05:28,024
Hmm.
160
00:05:28,058 --> 00:05:29,558
Hey, guys, put the cake down,
161
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La loca found a husband.
162
00:05:32,896 --> 00:05:34,230
Ooh...
163
00:05:34,264 --> 00:05:37,099
- There's my maid of honor!
- You like?
164
00:05:37,134 --> 00:05:38,300
You look fabulous.
165
00:05:38,335 --> 00:05:40,503
- Thank you.
- A little too fabulous.
166
00:05:40,537 --> 00:05:42,872
That's it, I'm putting
you in lime green taffeta.
167
00:05:42,906 --> 00:05:44,140
Oh, girl, trust me,
168
00:05:44,174 --> 00:05:46,008
nobody's gonna be paying attention to me
169
00:05:46,043 --> 00:05:49,045
once they see you killing
in that "I'm styling" dress.
170
00:05:49,079 --> 00:05:50,946
Aah! Ooh, I need to go try it on.
171
00:05:50,981 --> 00:05:53,015
If it doesn't fit, hide the cutlery
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00:05:53,050 --> 00:05:55,618
because it's going down.
173
00:05:55,652 --> 00:05:57,319
Wow...
174
00:05:57,354 --> 00:05:59,288
Don't you look all
maid-of-honor-y?
175
00:05:59,322 --> 00:06:02,158
[chuckles] And don't you look all dusty?
176
00:06:05,896 --> 00:06:08,086
So, are you bringing your
girlfriend to the wedding?
177
00:06:08,186 --> 00:06:08,914
Who?
178
00:06:09,014 --> 00:06:10,388
"Ale-haaan-dra"?
179
00:06:11,916 --> 00:06:13,158
It's Alejandra.
180
00:06:13,263 --> 00:06:14,330
Oh. What'd I say?
181
00:06:14,420 --> 00:06:15,553
- Not that.
- Okay.
182
00:06:17,422 --> 00:06:19,523
Are you going with the guy from the loft
183
00:06:19,557 --> 00:06:21,925
with the muscles and the tight shirt?
184
00:06:21,960 --> 00:06:23,327
- Stephen?
- Yeah.
185
00:06:23,361 --> 00:06:24,762
- Maybe.
- Okay.
186
00:06:24,796 --> 00:06:26,029
- Probably.
- Oh.
187
00:06:26,064 --> 00:06:27,398
- Why not?
- Yeah.
188
00:06:29,968 --> 00:06:31,735
Don't look at me.
189
00:06:31,770 --> 00:06:33,937
Valent?, why are you walking like that?
190
00:06:33,972 --> 00:06:36,073
They're fitting my tux,
and I have five pins
191
00:06:36,107 --> 00:06:37,341
surrounding my crotch.
192
00:06:37,375 --> 00:06:39,143
So any fast move and my falsetto
193
00:06:39,177 --> 00:06:40,377
may become permanent.
194
00:06:40,412 --> 00:06:42,079
[phone ringing]
195
00:06:42,113 --> 00:06:43,347
You know, I would...
196
00:06:43,381 --> 00:06:45,015
- I got it.
- Okay.
197
00:06:46,084 --> 00:06:48,152
Zoe Moon Cosmetics.
198
00:06:48,186 --> 00:06:49,086
Really?
199
00:06:50,221 --> 00:06:51,889
Yeah, yeah, send him right up.
200
00:06:51,923 --> 00:06:52,790
Okay.
201
00:06:53,992 --> 00:06:55,325
- Guess who's here?
- What?
202
00:06:55,360 --> 00:06:57,394
Your parents.
203
00:06:57,429 --> 00:06:59,129
How could they possibly be here?
204
00:06:59,164 --> 00:07:00,664
I turned off my phone, Zoe,
205
00:07:00,698 --> 00:07:02,633
I deleted my Facebook, my Instagram.
206
00:07:02,667 --> 00:07:04,601
Do you know much discipline
it takes to not participate
207
00:07:04,636 --> 00:07:06,236
- in Brokeback Thursday?
- [elevator bell dings]
208
00:07:06,271 --> 00:07:07,571
Don't you mean Throwback Thursday?
209
00:07:07,605 --> 00:07:10,073
Not in my neighborhood. Oh, my good...
210
00:07:10,108 --> 00:07:11,842
There's my Jerome.
211
00:07:11,876 --> 00:07:12,743
[deep voice] Mama.
212
00:07:12,777 --> 00:07:15,446
[chuckling] Come here, Mama.
213
00:07:15,480 --> 00:07:17,548
Aw, you look so good.
What y'all doing here?
214
00:07:17,582 --> 00:07:19,683
- Pops! Oh, my God, man.
- Hey, hey, son.
215
00:07:19,717 --> 00:07:20,884
We've been calling you, boy!
216
00:07:21,033 --> 00:07:22,342
You know we in town for
that Southern Baptist
217
00:07:22,342 --> 00:07:23,509
bowling league convention.
218
00:07:23,543 --> 00:07:24,777
Mom and I just wanted to take you
219
00:07:24,811 --> 00:07:26,585
to our favorite seafood buffet.
220
00:07:26,882 --> 00:07:29,183
But now, you can buy your
own damn cheddar biscuits.
221
00:07:29,218 --> 00:07:31,152
You look so handsome. Look, James!
222
00:07:31,186 --> 00:07:34,555
He got a fancy job where
he wears a tuxedo to work.
223
00:07:34,590 --> 00:07:35,823
Yeah, like a butler.
224
00:07:37,459 --> 00:07:39,694
Uh, Mr. and Mrs. Johnson,
225
00:07:39,728 --> 00:07:42,363
another pleasant surprise
from Va... Jerome.
226
00:07:42,397 --> 00:07:44,498
[chuckling] I'm Zoe Moon.
227
00:07:44,533 --> 00:07:45,600
- Oh!
- Hi.
228
00:07:45,634 --> 00:07:47,001
- [whispering] Boxer's wife.
- Oh!
229
00:07:47,035 --> 00:07:48,135
[whispering] Ex-wife.
230
00:07:48,170 --> 00:07:49,937
And the owner of Zoe Moon Cosmetics.
231
00:07:49,972 --> 00:07:52,073
Well, normally, it's Zoe Moon Cosmetics,
232
00:07:52,107 --> 00:07:54,475
but today, it's an
episode of "Wedding Wars."
233
00:07:54,509 --> 00:07:55,309
[chuckling]
234
00:07:55,344 --> 00:07:56,510
Someone's getting married?
235
00:07:56,545 --> 00:07:57,712
How exciting!
236
00:07:57,746 --> 00:08:01,249
Here comes the bride looking for her groom!
237
00:08:01,283 --> 00:08:03,851
[humming "Here Comes the Bride"]
238
00:08:10,158 --> 00:08:12,193
You look so beautiful, Pearly.
239
00:08:13,362 --> 00:08:15,263
Who are these people?
240
00:08:15,297 --> 00:08:17,465
- James?
- Hmm?
241
00:08:17,499 --> 00:08:20,294
- I think I know what's going on here now.
- What?
242
00:08:20,427 --> 00:08:23,376
Jerome looks like a butler 'cause...
243
00:08:23,727 --> 00:08:24,861
he's getting married.
244
00:08:24,895 --> 00:08:26,129
[James] What?
245
00:08:26,163 --> 00:08:27,430
Uh, I think there's been
a misunderstanding...
246
00:08:27,464 --> 00:08:29,866
Boss lady! Uh... can I speak with you
247
00:08:29,900 --> 00:08:31,935
and, uh... my blushing bride
248
00:08:31,969 --> 00:08:33,870
in the office, please?
249
00:08:33,904 --> 00:08:35,104
[forced laugh]
250
00:08:35,139 --> 00:08:36,372
Oh, Mom, Dad, there's donuts
251
00:08:36,407 --> 00:08:37,774
in the break room, all right?
252
00:08:37,808 --> 00:08:39,475
- For free?
- I love New York.
253
00:08:39,510 --> 00:08:40,944
Let's get some donuts, baby.
254
00:08:40,978 --> 00:08:42,512
You need to talk to your parents.
255
00:08:42,546 --> 00:08:45,181
You know, where should I start, huh?
256
00:08:45,216 --> 00:08:47,116
"We're not getting married," hmm?
257
00:08:47,151 --> 00:08:49,252
"I no longer go by the name Jerome,"
258
00:08:49,286 --> 00:08:52,889
or "I'm a lifelong member
of The Penis Club for Men?"
259
00:08:52,923 --> 00:08:56,226
Valent?, I can't have you
ruining Pearl's big day.
260
00:08:56,260 --> 00:08:57,994
So there's only one solution.
261
00:08:58,028 --> 00:08:59,662
- You have to marry me.
- You need to tell your parents the truth.
262
00:08:59,697 --> 00:09:00,663
- What?!
- What?!
263
00:09:00,698 --> 00:09:02,298
- Are you crazy?!
- Shh!
264
00:09:02,333 --> 00:09:03,967
Mom and Dad will think we're fighting.
265
00:09:04,001 --> 00:09:05,201
We are!
266
00:09:05,236 --> 00:09:06,469
Okay, okay.
267
00:09:06,503 --> 00:09:08,271
I know you only have the room at the plaza
268
00:09:08,305 --> 00:09:11,174
for four hours, and you wanna
have the rehearsal beforehand.
269
00:09:11,208 --> 00:09:13,243
But what if... don't hit me...
270
00:09:13,277 --> 00:09:16,246
you and I have a fake
ceremony at the rehearsal?
271
00:09:16,280 --> 00:09:17,513
Don't hit me.
272
00:09:17,548 --> 00:09:19,382
You and I will know it's only a rehearsal,
273
00:09:19,416 --> 00:09:21,084
but my parents will think it's real.
274
00:09:21,118 --> 00:09:24,053
Don't hit me. And now, they can
go back to Nacogdoches happy,
275
00:09:24,088 --> 00:09:25,788
knowing that they son is married
276
00:09:25,823 --> 00:09:26,789
to a beautiful Christian woman.
277
00:09:26,824 --> 00:09:29,926
Okay... now, you can hit me.
278
00:09:29,960 --> 00:09:31,461
Wait, you think I'm beautiful?
279
00:09:31,495 --> 00:09:33,763
I think you're Christian.
280
00:09:33,797 --> 00:09:34,797
Okay, now, you can hit him.
281
00:09:34,832 --> 00:09:36,532
What... oh!
282
00:09:39,169 --> 00:09:41,037
I know we've been busy with the wedding,
283
00:09:41,071 --> 00:09:42,272
and now, the fake wedding,
284
00:09:42,306 --> 00:09:44,140
but I wanted to introduce you to someone.
285
00:09:44,174 --> 00:09:47,043
It's a bit too late for
me, I'm already taken.
286
00:09:47,077 --> 00:09:48,111
Who?
287
00:09:48,145 --> 00:09:51,114
Hello. I am the new Zoe Moon.
288
00:09:51,148 --> 00:09:52,915
- Oh?
- Nice to meet you.
289
00:09:52,950 --> 00:09:54,083
Yeah.
290
00:09:54,118 --> 00:09:56,219
I am super cute, super confident,
291
00:09:56,253 --> 00:09:58,221
and 100% baggage-free.
292
00:09:58,255 --> 00:10:01,157
And I've decided that
Stephen is coming with me
293
00:10:01,191 --> 00:10:02,725
to your wedding, whether
he likes it or not,
294
00:10:02,760 --> 00:10:06,929
because the new Zoe Moon
doesn't take no for an answer.
295
00:10:06,964 --> 00:10:08,131
Come on, somebody.
296
00:10:08,165 --> 00:10:09,532
Damn, girl, with that attitude,
297
00:10:09,566 --> 00:10:11,567
I would've got married a long time ago.
298
00:10:13,470 --> 00:10:14,937
Stephen?
299
00:10:14,972 --> 00:10:16,339
- Zoe.
- [phone buzzing]
300
00:10:16,373 --> 00:10:18,741
It was really great
seeing you the other night.
301
00:10:18,776 --> 00:10:20,310
This is Pearl.
302
00:10:20,344 --> 00:10:22,512
Oh, yes, my wedding is
booked there this Saturday.
303
00:10:22,546 --> 00:10:25,481
Look, I know you said that
I come with a lot of baggage,
304
00:10:25,516 --> 00:10:27,150
but I just wanted you to know that
305
00:10:27,184 --> 00:10:29,519
that baggage is checked.
306
00:10:29,553 --> 00:10:31,621
Wait, what do you mean, double-booked?
307
00:10:31,655 --> 00:10:33,389
I'm gonna go to Pearl's
wedding on Saturday,
308
00:10:33,424 --> 00:10:35,858
and I was wondering if you
would like to come with me?
309
00:10:35,893 --> 00:10:38,294
Plus, I'm gonna be looking super fierce,
310
00:10:38,329 --> 00:10:39,762
and I wouldn't want
you to miss out on that.
311
00:10:39,797 --> 00:10:43,299
I can't cancel my wedding,
I'm getting married.
312
00:10:43,334 --> 00:10:44,967
Oh, I appreciate that.
313
00:10:45,002 --> 00:10:47,003
But I don't always look fierce.
314
00:10:47,037 --> 00:10:48,338
I will crawl through this phone
315
00:10:48,372 --> 00:10:49,906
and drag your tonsils through your nose
316
00:10:49,940 --> 00:10:52,041
if you do not fix this!
317
00:10:52,076 --> 00:10:53,676
Oh, Stephen, that's great.
318
00:10:53,711 --> 00:10:56,145
Okay, I'll see you Saturday... bye.
319
00:10:56,180 --> 00:10:58,548
Hello? Hello?
320
00:10:58,582 --> 00:11:00,249
Boom!
321
00:11:00,284 --> 00:11:01,417
Stephen's coming to the wedding.
322
00:11:01,452 --> 00:11:03,920
Boom! There is no wedding!
323
00:11:03,954 --> 00:11:04,921
What happened?
324
00:11:04,955 --> 00:11:06,889
The plaza double-booked!
325
00:11:06,924 --> 00:11:08,591
Obama's giving a speech
there, and apparently,
326
00:11:08,625 --> 00:11:10,326
they think that's more
important than my wedding!
327
00:11:10,361 --> 00:11:12,595
Oh, God. No, no... Pearl!
328
00:11:12,629 --> 00:11:13,996
Pearl, sit down. Sit down, calm down.
329
00:11:14,031 --> 00:11:15,331
You're okay. You're okay, look.
330
00:11:15,366 --> 00:11:16,799
I'm gonna figure this
out because that is what
331
00:11:16,834 --> 00:11:18,835
a maid of honor is supposed to do, right?
332
00:11:18,869 --> 00:11:20,303
I got this, okay?
333
00:11:20,337 --> 00:11:21,504
I mean, how hard could it
be to find another place
334
00:11:21,538 --> 00:11:22,905
to have a wedding, huh?
335
00:11:22,940 --> 00:11:25,742
I mean, in New York City?
In four days? You okay?
336
00:11:25,776 --> 00:11:26,843
[gasping]
337
00:11:26,877 --> 00:11:28,845
Zoe Ever After
338
00:11:30,882 --> 00:11:34,351
Hey, G, just wanted you to know
that I'm thinking about you.
339
00:11:34,385 --> 00:11:35,752
And I want you to go out there tonight
340
00:11:35,787 --> 00:11:37,854
and do what you gotta do, okay?
341
00:11:37,889 --> 00:11:40,791
Do you and don't worry
about nobody else, all right?
342
00:11:40,825 --> 00:11:43,427
And I'll see you on the other side.
343
00:11:43,461 --> 00:11:44,861
Okay.
344
00:11:47,198 --> 00:11:48,298
See, Pearly?
345
00:11:48,333 --> 00:11:50,200
I told you, I got you.
346
00:11:50,234 --> 00:11:51,568
Who the maid of honor?
347
00:11:51,602 --> 00:11:53,904
Zo to the... E to the...
348
00:11:53,938 --> 00:11:55,839
Here's a Pearl of wisdom... if your wedding
349
00:11:55,873 --> 00:11:58,275
gets downgraded from the
plaza to a living room,
350
00:11:58,309 --> 00:11:59,509
things ain't looking good.
351
00:11:59,544 --> 00:12:01,511
Girl, it's gonna be fine.
352
00:12:01,546 --> 00:12:03,947
Now, I hid a bottle of Dom
underneath my bathroom sink
353
00:12:03,982 --> 00:12:05,983
in case you need a little liquid courage.
354
00:12:06,017 --> 00:12:07,484
Yeah, I'm pretty sure I'm gonna need that.
355
00:12:07,518 --> 00:12:09,019
[laughing] Okay.
356
00:12:09,053 --> 00:12:12,389
Ooh, and speaking of fine,
look at my little man!
357
00:12:12,423 --> 00:12:14,825
A real man wouldn't wear this suit.
358
00:12:14,859 --> 00:12:16,994
[chuckling]
359
00:12:17,028 --> 00:12:18,128
Stephen, you made it.
360
00:12:18,162 --> 00:12:20,897
And your doorman didn't
even frisk me this time.
361
00:12:20,932 --> 00:12:24,634
I put the fear of God and
no Christmas bonus in him.
362
00:12:24,669 --> 00:12:26,536
Stephen, you remember my son Xavier?
363
00:12:26,571 --> 00:12:29,272
Hey, Xavier, it's nice to see you.
364
00:12:29,307 --> 00:12:30,273
I like your suit.
365
00:12:30,308 --> 00:12:31,775
Figures.
366
00:12:33,277 --> 00:12:34,311
- Hello.
- Hey.
367
00:12:34,345 --> 00:12:35,846
You said to be here early,
368
00:12:35,880 --> 00:12:38,115
which I hope means that
we get a first crack
369
00:12:38,149 --> 00:12:40,283
at the hors d'oeuvres.
370
00:12:40,318 --> 00:12:41,585
You remember Alejandra?
371
00:12:41,619 --> 00:12:44,654
Yes, I do. Nice to
see you, Ale-haaan-dra.
372
00:12:44,689 --> 00:12:46,757
Nice to see you too, Zoe.
373
00:12:46,791 --> 00:12:48,125
You remember Stephen.
374
00:12:48,159 --> 00:12:49,960
Oh, yeah! Yeah, yeah! Sorry about the rats.
375
00:12:49,994 --> 00:12:52,029
I was misinformed.
376
00:12:52,063 --> 00:12:53,563
Wow, strong handshake.
377
00:12:53,598 --> 00:12:56,299
I can't help but think if
you tore your shirt open,
378
00:12:56,334 --> 00:12:57,901
there'd be a big "S" on your chest.
379
00:12:57,935 --> 00:12:59,936
Oh-kay!
380
00:12:59,971 --> 00:13:02,472
The fake wedding is about to start, so...
381
00:13:02,507 --> 00:13:03,840
I'm gonna need you guys
to sit in these chairs.
382
00:13:03,875 --> 00:13:06,043
And if you could cry,
that'll really help sell it.
383
00:13:06,077 --> 00:13:07,411
Come on.
384
00:13:07,445 --> 00:13:10,380
["Here Comes the Bride" playing on piano]
385
00:13:10,415 --> 00:13:13,517
386
00:13:24,796 --> 00:13:28,065
Ladies and gentlemen,
387
00:13:28,099 --> 00:13:30,367
we are gathered here to...
388
00:13:30,401 --> 00:13:31,768
[whispering]
389
00:13:31,803 --> 00:13:33,870
The bride and groom have
prepared their own vows.
390
00:13:33,905 --> 00:13:35,539
Bingo.
391
00:13:35,573 --> 00:13:37,474
Thank you.
392
00:13:37,508 --> 00:13:38,742
Here goes.
393
00:13:38,776 --> 00:13:41,011
"My darling insert name here"...
394
00:13:41,045 --> 00:13:42,379
I mean Earl... I mean Valent?.
395
00:13:42,413 --> 00:13:44,948
I mean, Jerome. I'm sorry.
396
00:13:46,384 --> 00:13:49,486
- Girl seems confused.
- Shh.
397
00:13:49,520 --> 00:13:52,022
Today, we finally get to make it official.
398
00:13:53,458 --> 00:13:56,626
My best friend, my soul mate...
399
00:13:59,630 --> 00:14:01,064
the man who loves me for me...
400
00:14:06,037 --> 00:14:06,903
Stop.
401
00:14:10,308 --> 00:14:13,143
I cannot do this.
402
00:14:13,177 --> 00:14:14,578
This is something that you should say
403
00:14:14,612 --> 00:14:17,914
to your real soul mate, not me.
404
00:14:26,624 --> 00:14:29,025
Mom... Dad...
405
00:14:32,396 --> 00:14:33,430
I'm gay.
406
00:14:33,464 --> 00:14:34,831
What'd he say?
407
00:14:34,866 --> 00:14:38,135
For Christ's sake, the
boy gay, Barbara Jean!
408
00:14:38,169 --> 00:14:39,703
Hell, I knew that.
409
00:14:39,737 --> 00:14:41,505
How did you know?
410
00:14:41,539 --> 00:14:43,440
Son, I've known since I saw you
411
00:14:43,474 --> 00:14:44,674
trying to kiss Will Smith
412
00:14:44,709 --> 00:14:46,776
on the TV during a "Fresh Prince" rerun.
413
00:14:46,811 --> 00:14:48,812
Why didn't you say anything?
414
00:14:48,846 --> 00:14:50,614
What do you want me to say, son?
415
00:14:50,648 --> 00:14:53,183
"Hey, boy, stop kissing
the TV, that's gay!"
416
00:14:55,153 --> 00:14:58,455
Jerome, I don't care how many TVs you kiss.
417
00:14:58,489 --> 00:15:00,023
Your mama always loves you.
418
00:15:02,126 --> 00:15:03,226
Mama...
419
00:15:04,030 --> 00:15:05,929
Oh, hell.
420
00:15:07,465 --> 00:15:09,900
Zoe
421
00:15:11,242 --> 00:15:13,343
[heartbeat pounding]
422
00:15:16,214 --> 00:15:17,981
[crowd cheering]
423
00:15:18,015 --> 00:15:20,584
The champ is... The champ is...
424
00:15:20,618 --> 00:15:22,085
[Zoe] No, I won't be there.
425
00:15:22,119 --> 00:15:24,621
I'm gonna be at Pearl's
wedding Saturday night.
426
00:15:24,655 --> 00:15:26,690
The champ is... The champ is...
427
00:15:28,135 --> 00:15:29,802
Pearl, everybody's waiting.
428
00:15:29,838 --> 00:15:31,171
And Raquel is hitting on the minister,
429
00:15:31,206 --> 00:15:32,239
so you might wanna get out there
430
00:15:32,273 --> 00:15:33,640
before they leave together.
431
00:15:35,810 --> 00:15:37,044
What's wrong?
432
00:15:38,847 --> 00:15:40,514
Nothing today went like I planned it.
433
00:15:40,548 --> 00:15:41,748
[sighs]
434
00:15:41,783 --> 00:15:43,917
I really, really like Earl.
435
00:15:43,952 --> 00:15:45,252
But how do I know he's my soul mate
436
00:15:45,286 --> 00:15:46,854
when I don't even know his middle name?
437
00:15:46,888 --> 00:15:48,789
I mean, does he open his
gifts on Christmas Day
438
00:15:48,823 --> 00:15:51,091
or Christmas Eve?
439
00:15:51,125 --> 00:15:53,460
And what if he wears socks with sandals?
440
00:15:53,494 --> 00:15:54,895
Right.
441
00:15:54,929 --> 00:15:56,430
You would think an FBI background check
442
00:15:56,464 --> 00:15:57,885
would tell you those things, but no.
443
00:15:59,133 --> 00:16:01,635
Pearly, I wish I knew what to tell you.
444
00:16:01,669 --> 00:16:03,036
- Mmm.
- I mean, obviously,
445
00:16:03,071 --> 00:16:06,740
- I'm no authority on relationships but...
- Okay.
446
00:16:06,774 --> 00:16:09,343
- You know what I will say?
- What?
447
00:16:09,377 --> 00:16:11,945
If it were me, I'd wish my girl
448
00:16:11,980 --> 00:16:13,680
would tell me not to rush into something
449
00:16:13,715 --> 00:16:14,715
I wasn't ready for.
450
00:16:14,749 --> 00:16:16,450
I did tell you that!
451
00:16:16,484 --> 00:16:18,218
I was right there and I said,
452
00:16:18,253 --> 00:16:20,129
"Zoe, don't you marry
that fool, because..."
453
00:16:20,154 --> 00:16:20,754
Okay!
454
00:16:20,788 --> 00:16:23,557
It's not about me. It's about you.
455
00:16:23,591 --> 00:16:25,058
Okay.
456
00:16:25,093 --> 00:16:26,526
And, Pearly, if you marrying this guy
457
00:16:26,561 --> 00:16:30,430
just to check off a
box, then it's a mistake.
458
00:16:30,465 --> 00:16:32,266
Sometimes you gotta think with your heart
459
00:16:32,300 --> 00:16:35,235
- and not your head.
- [sighs]
460
00:16:35,270 --> 00:16:37,137
It's like my grandpa used to always say,
461
00:16:37,171 --> 00:16:40,107
"Think with your heart and not your head."
462
00:16:40,141 --> 00:16:41,708
[both laughing]
463
00:16:44,145 --> 00:16:46,079
[R&B ballad playing]
464
00:16:46,114 --> 00:16:47,648
I'm gay.
465
00:16:47,682 --> 00:16:50,751
That's my boy.
466
00:16:50,785 --> 00:16:53,086
467
00:16:53,121 --> 00:16:55,822
So you're okay with us slowing things down?
468
00:16:55,857 --> 00:16:57,958
Not so slow that it doesn't include sex.
469
00:16:57,992 --> 00:17:00,093
Oh, hell, no! I was just about to dance you
470
00:17:00,128 --> 00:17:01,795
into that bathroom for a quickie.
471
00:17:01,829 --> 00:17:03,864
Psh, let's dance then.
472
00:17:09,003 --> 00:17:10,370
You having a good time?
473
00:17:10,405 --> 00:17:12,572
Yeah, yeah, yeah, you
put on a great wedding,
474
00:17:12,607 --> 00:17:13,807
even though no one's getting married.
475
00:17:17,178 --> 00:17:18,545
You having a good time?
476
00:17:18,579 --> 00:17:19,947
I am, and I hope to be
477
00:17:19,981 --> 00:17:21,615
having a better time later.
478
00:17:21,649 --> 00:17:22,549
Hmm.
479
00:17:26,154 --> 00:17:27,587
Has anybody seen X?
480
00:17:27,622 --> 00:17:29,656
Uh, yeah, he left, like, ten minutes ago.
481
00:17:29,691 --> 00:17:31,224
He said he doesn't like old people music.
482
00:17:32,527 --> 00:17:33,560
Excuse me.
483
00:17:33,594 --> 00:17:34,728
Yeah.
484
00:17:39,767 --> 00:17:41,668
I benched 220 yesterday.
485
00:17:43,905 --> 00:17:44,771
180.
486
00:17:46,474 --> 00:17:47,607
110.
487
00:17:51,980 --> 00:17:53,981
[bell dings on TV]
488
00:17:54,015 --> 00:17:55,515
X...
489
00:17:55,550 --> 00:17:57,017
I thought I told you I didn't want you
490
00:17:57,051 --> 00:17:58,285
watching this fight.
491
00:17:58,319 --> 00:18:01,421
Dad's in trouble. He's losing.
492
00:18:01,456 --> 00:18:05,058
Baby, look, Daddy is
gonna be just fine, okay?
493
00:18:05,093 --> 00:18:06,693
Let's go get some cake and we'll call him
494
00:18:06,728 --> 00:18:07,694
right after the fight's over.
495
00:18:07,729 --> 00:18:09,463
I don't want cake!
496
00:18:09,497 --> 00:18:12,466
Dad needed us tonight, and
we weren't there for him.
497
00:18:12,500 --> 00:18:14,334
[crying] Dad's losing
because you wanted to be here
498
00:18:14,369 --> 00:18:16,069
with your stupid boyfriend.
499
00:18:16,104 --> 00:18:17,771
Excuse me?
500
00:18:17,805 --> 00:18:19,006
Leave me alone!
501
00:18:19,040 --> 00:18:20,807
I don't wanna live with you anymore.
502
00:18:20,842 --> 00:18:22,609
I wanna move in with Dad!
503
00:18:25,913 --> 00:18:26,913
[sobbing lightly]
504
00:18:26,948 --> 00:18:29,149
I found your son.
505
00:18:31,753 --> 00:18:32,719
Are you okay?
506
00:18:35,356 --> 00:18:39,760
My son just told me that he
wants to go live with his dad.
507
00:18:39,794 --> 00:18:42,529
Oh, Th... that's just talk.
508
00:18:42,563 --> 00:18:45,065
When I was younger, I
would threaten my parents
509
00:18:45,099 --> 00:18:47,467
that I would run away and join the circus.
510
00:18:47,502 --> 00:18:49,002
And when I got the chance to audition,
511
00:18:49,037 --> 00:18:50,804
it turns out they already
had a bearded lady.
512
00:18:50,838 --> 00:18:52,105
[chuckling]
513
00:18:52,140 --> 00:18:54,741
Maybe we should have gone to the fight.
514
00:18:54,776 --> 00:18:57,144
But maybe I just didn't want
him to see his dad get hurt.
515
00:18:57,178 --> 00:18:59,846
But he doesn't get
that, I mean, all he sees
516
00:18:59,881 --> 00:19:01,982
is his evil mom keeping him away
517
00:19:02,016 --> 00:19:04,184
from his dad, his hero.
518
00:19:04,218 --> 00:19:05,619
That's not what it is, okay? He's a kid...
519
00:19:05,653 --> 00:19:08,388
And maybe I shouldn't have invited Stephen!
520
00:19:08,423 --> 00:19:10,290
[crying] What am I trying to prove?
521
00:19:10,324 --> 00:19:12,059
Who am I trying to prove it to?
522
00:19:12,093 --> 00:19:15,062
I get it, God! I get it!
523
00:19:15,096 --> 00:19:17,097
I failed, I can't make it on my own.
524
00:19:17,131 --> 00:19:18,365
- I get it, God!
- Zoe, Zoe.
525
00:19:18,399 --> 00:19:19,399
Wherever you are, I get it!
526
00:19:19,434 --> 00:19:22,402
Zoe... Zoe, Zoe, Zoe!
527
00:19:30,978 --> 00:19:34,181
[heartbeat pounding]
528
00:19:36,417 --> 00:19:38,652
[Zoe] This isn't your house anymore,
529
00:19:38,686 --> 00:19:40,520
and I'm not your wife.
530
00:19:40,555 --> 00:19:43,623
The champ is... The champ is...
531
00:19:43,658 --> 00:19:45,792
The champ is... The champ is...
532
00:19:45,827 --> 00:19:48,395
The champ is... The champ is...
533
00:19:48,429 --> 00:19:50,997
[heartbeat fading]
534
00:19:54,948 --> 00:19:59,002
- synced and corrected by hawken45 -
- www.addic7ed.com -
535
00:19:59,052 --> 00:20:03,602
Repair and Synchronization by
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