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1
00:00:06,184 --> 00:00:09,054
(loud, rhythmic whirring)
2
00:00:10,955 --> 00:00:12,591
Excuse me!
3
00:00:12,623 --> 00:00:14,650
Excuse me!
4
00:00:14,685 --> 00:00:16,789
Oh, sorry, Jimmy.
Got to protein-load.
5
00:00:16,824 --> 00:00:20,031
Today in improv class,
we're finally doing Harolds.
6
00:00:20,064 --> 00:00:22,693
Anyway, I really
like my instructor.
7
00:00:22,728 --> 00:00:24,570
And after what
happened with Lindsay,
8
00:00:24,605 --> 00:00:27,971
I think I'm finally ready to
let love into my life again.
9
00:00:28,006 --> 00:00:29,375
You've never had love
in your life.
10
00:00:29,408 --> 00:00:30,876
That's why I need to come up
with an excuse
11
00:00:30,908 --> 00:00:32,424
to see Dorothy after class.
12
00:00:32,459 --> 00:00:36,448
So, I was thinking, after
Stretch and Share, I neg her
13
00:00:36,481 --> 00:00:37,783
and tell her
she looks winded
14
00:00:37,816 --> 00:00:39,221
and that she should sign up
for my gym, and that...
15
00:00:39,256 --> 00:00:41,432
Edgar, as always,
you're overthinking it.
16
00:00:41,467 --> 00:00:43,236
For once in your life,
just keep it simple.
17
00:00:43,271 --> 00:00:44,525
- You mean just ask her out?
- No.
18
00:00:44,560 --> 00:00:46,558
Get her hammered
and finger-bang her in your car.
19
00:00:46,591 --> 00:00:49,650
Hmm. Maybe I should
be more direct.
20
00:00:49,685 --> 00:00:51,775
I mean, with Lindsay, I
got friend-zoned for life.
21
00:00:51,810 --> 00:00:54,872
One time, she texted me,
"Yo, girl, want to get brunch?"
22
00:00:54,907 --> 00:00:56,507
Have you noticed
something's up with Gretchen?
23
00:00:56,542 --> 00:00:58,815
You mean how she's been sneaking
out in the middle of the night?
24
00:00:58,850 --> 00:01:00,872
You knew?
25
00:01:00,906 --> 00:01:02,875
Morning.
26
00:01:02,908 --> 00:01:05,030
How-how'd you sleep?
27
00:01:05,065 --> 00:01:07,386
Fine.
Okay, good.
28
00:01:07,421 --> 00:01:08,047
Why?
29
00:01:08,082 --> 00:01:10,991
Nothing. You just
look a little tired.
30
00:01:11,026 --> 00:01:12,437
Cool. Thanks.
31
00:01:12,472 --> 00:01:13,818
Your dick's a weird color.
32
00:01:13,853 --> 00:01:16,222
Catch up again tomorrow?
33
00:01:16,254 --> 00:01:18,323
I got to go shower.
34
00:01:18,356 --> 00:01:20,911
Sam released
Shitstain's chinchilla
35
00:01:20,946 --> 00:01:22,227
into Griffith Park.
36
00:01:22,260 --> 00:01:23,829
This feud's out of control.
37
00:01:26,031 --> 00:01:29,688
Why don't you just ask Gretchen
where she's been going at night?
38
00:01:29,723 --> 00:01:31,832
Poor, ignorant Edgar.
39
00:01:31,867 --> 00:01:33,783
You don't just drop
your accusation on a perp
40
00:01:33,818 --> 00:01:35,855
without gathering proper
forensic evidence first,
41
00:01:35,890 --> 00:01:38,576
or they're likely to blow.
42
00:01:38,609 --> 00:01:40,679
NCIS: LA.
43
00:01:40,712 --> 00:01:42,715
Ah.
44
00:01:53,391 --> 00:01:56,593
I'm gonna leave you anyway
45
00:01:56,628 --> 00:01:59,063
I'm gonna leave you
anyway
46
00:01:59,098 --> 00:02:02,367
Gonna leave you anyway.
47
00:02:02,402 --> 00:02:06,202
Sync and corrections by explosiveskull
www.addic7ed.com
48
00:02:06,237 --> 00:02:08,240
(birds singing)
49
00:02:10,141 --> 00:02:12,110
(clicking)
50
00:02:12,144 --> 00:02:13,479
Ugh.
51
00:02:13,512 --> 00:02:15,046
Bulbs.
52
00:02:17,582 --> 00:02:19,884
Get hot!
53
00:02:19,918 --> 00:02:22,721
My toast is still bread, Paul!
54
00:02:22,753 --> 00:02:23,955
What's happening?!
55
00:02:23,989 --> 00:02:25,390
Have you been paying
the utilities?
56
00:02:25,424 --> 00:02:26,701
You need to come help me.
57
00:02:26,736 --> 00:02:28,561
Why haven't you cashed
any of the checks I sent?
58
00:02:28,593 --> 00:02:29,727
Cash a check?!
59
00:02:29,760 --> 00:02:31,563
Who am I, Lee Iacocca?
60
00:02:31,597 --> 00:02:36,269
Well... I guess I could cover
your bills this month.
61
00:02:39,770 --> 00:02:43,778
Lindsay, I'm sorry
to hear about your power,
62
00:02:43,813 --> 00:02:45,545
but it isn't my problem anymore.
63
00:02:45,580 --> 00:02:46,086
(phone beeps off)
64
00:02:46,121 --> 00:02:48,013
Hello?
65
00:02:48,045 --> 00:02:50,048
Paul?
66
00:02:51,449 --> 00:02:55,576
In a long-term relationship,
hurt feelings are inevitable.
67
00:02:55,611 --> 00:02:58,552
The trick is being able
to communicate that hurt
68
00:02:58,587 --> 00:03:00,652
appropriately and
constructively.
69
00:03:00,687 --> 00:03:02,460
Are you guys sure
you want me here?
70
00:03:02,495 --> 00:03:03,432
Yeah, bitch!
71
00:03:03,467 --> 00:03:05,370
- This whole feud was your idea.
- This feud
72
00:03:05,405 --> 00:03:06,681
was not my idea.
73
00:03:06,716 --> 00:03:09,046
The fake feud was my idea,
74
00:03:09,081 --> 00:03:10,824
and only for crass,
commercial reasons.
75
00:03:10,859 --> 00:03:13,271
Okay, just to be clear,
you started
76
00:03:13,305 --> 00:03:16,070
a real feud
which then became a fake feud,
77
00:03:16,105 --> 00:03:17,740
which has now become
a real feud again
78
00:03:17,775 --> 00:03:22,063
because the resultant "dis
tracks" have become hurtful?
79
00:03:22,098 --> 00:03:23,264
SHITSTAIN:
On this last one,
80
00:03:23,299 --> 00:03:25,466
Sam called me
the black John Turturro.
81
00:03:25,501 --> 00:03:27,353
He called me
"skinny fat."
82
00:03:27,385 --> 00:03:30,121
Y'all told Fire 103
I let a dude suck my dick!
83
00:03:30,155 --> 00:03:32,851
- You did let a dude suck your dick.
- GRETCHEN: Guys.
84
00:03:32,886 --> 00:03:35,425
Remember, we're just
pretending to be mad.
85
00:03:35,460 --> 00:03:37,301
You guys still need
to be working on new music
86
00:03:37,336 --> 00:03:38,868
for when we stage
the big reunion!
87
00:03:38,903 --> 00:03:39,640
SAM:
Bitch,
88
00:03:39,675 --> 00:03:41,233
I'm going solo.
89
00:03:41,265 --> 00:03:43,564
I could take a dookie
that would chart higher
90
00:03:43,599 --> 00:03:47,083
than anything I ever did
with Crustache over here
91
00:03:47,118 --> 00:03:49,310
and Mr. 800-On-His-SATs.
92
00:03:49,345 --> 00:03:51,443
- I told you that in confidence.
- Whatever.
93
00:03:51,475 --> 00:03:53,612
Forget you tricks! I'm done.
94
00:03:55,413 --> 00:03:57,882
(door opens, closes)
95
00:03:57,915 --> 00:04:00,456
May I use
the remaining time
96
00:04:00,491 --> 00:04:02,687
to talk about
my parents' divorce?
97
00:04:03,922 --> 00:04:05,213
Dad, I told you
98
00:04:05,248 --> 00:04:07,710
that we'd have a great time
at the museum.
99
00:04:07,745 --> 00:04:09,895
Yeah, but where were
all these boobs at?!
100
00:04:09,927 --> 00:04:12,559
- (laughter)
- And blackout!
101
00:04:12,594 --> 00:04:15,768
- (applause)
- Great class, you guys! Really good today.
102
00:04:15,800 --> 00:04:17,336
Good class.
Good class.
103
00:04:17,369 --> 00:04:19,272
Good work.
104
00:04:24,375 --> 00:04:25,843
- Hey.
- Hey.
105
00:04:25,877 --> 00:04:27,446
Um, so listen.
106
00:04:27,478 --> 00:04:29,382
I think you're funny and cute,
and I'd like to take you out
107
00:04:29,417 --> 00:04:31,350
on a date with me
for-for a date.
108
00:04:31,382 --> 00:04:33,685
Is this a bit?
109
00:04:33,718 --> 00:04:38,090
I don't think so, but I'm still
not 100% sure what a bit is.
110
00:04:38,125 --> 00:04:39,834
Wait, are you asking
me on a date?
111
00:04:39,869 --> 00:04:41,682
No. (laughs) Phsh.
112
00:04:41,717 --> 00:04:44,362
Uh, you want to get drunk
and hang out in my car?
113
00:04:44,396 --> 00:04:45,819
No. Please don't
take it back.
114
00:04:45,854 --> 00:04:49,231
Uh... you know guys
don't do that, right?
115
00:04:49,266 --> 00:04:50,936
At least not
comedy guys.
116
00:04:50,968 --> 00:04:52,944
I mean, I might get a text
that's like, "You up?"
117
00:04:52,979 --> 00:04:55,685
That's how comedy dudes
ask you out. They joke.
118
00:04:55,720 --> 00:04:56,709
Like, "Wouldn't
it be so funny
119
00:04:56,742 --> 00:04:58,715
if you came over and
were sucking my dick?"
120
00:04:58,750 --> 00:04:59,568
And then, next
thing you know,
121
00:04:59,603 --> 00:05:02,262
you've joked yourself
into sucking their dick.
122
00:05:02,297 --> 00:05:04,174
Uh, so, is-is that a no?
123
00:05:04,209 --> 00:05:07,247
No! You just broke my
brain a little bit. Yes.
124
00:05:07,282 --> 00:05:09,922
Uh, you want to go
somewhere right now?
125
00:05:14,032 --> 00:05:17,322
(slurping loudly)
126
00:05:17,355 --> 00:05:19,157
(sighs)
127
00:05:19,189 --> 00:05:21,644
Thanks again for picking me up.
128
00:05:21,679 --> 00:05:23,153
How is a person supposed to know
129
00:05:23,188 --> 00:05:25,036
they have to put oil
in their car?
130
00:05:25,071 --> 00:05:28,021
There's a little oil can light
on your dashboard.
131
00:05:28,056 --> 00:05:30,083
Paul took care
of all that garbage.
132
00:05:30,118 --> 00:05:33,239
And now I don't have power,
I don't have hot water,
133
00:05:33,274 --> 00:05:35,086
I don't have TV!
134
00:05:35,121 --> 00:05:37,085
I'm like a frontiers woman.
135
00:05:37,120 --> 00:05:40,911
I'm like Reese Witherspoon in
that commercial for backpacks.
136
00:05:40,944 --> 00:05:45,082
Right. Lindsay, I asked you
to lunch for a reason.
137
00:05:45,115 --> 00:05:46,183
Oh.
138
00:05:46,216 --> 00:05:47,949
Gretchen keeps sneaking out
139
00:05:47,984 --> 00:05:49,187
in the middle of the night.
140
00:05:49,220 --> 00:05:51,341
Do you know where she's going?
141
00:05:51,376 --> 00:05:52,857
Probably got a side bitch.
142
00:05:52,889 --> 00:05:53,778
(laughs)
143
00:05:53,813 --> 00:05:57,170
- I don't think she has a... a side bitch.
- Oh, Jimmy.
144
00:05:57,205 --> 00:05:59,130
Let me tell you
how relationships work.
145
00:05:59,162 --> 00:06:00,538
You cheat,
146
00:06:00,573 --> 00:06:03,342
and then she cheats, and
then, one day you wake up,
147
00:06:03,377 --> 00:06:05,494
and he's gone,
none of your stuff works,
148
00:06:05,529 --> 00:06:08,205
and you're having crabby puffs
with some British guy.
149
00:06:08,239 --> 00:06:10,312
- I'll give you a ride.
- You know what?
150
00:06:10,347 --> 00:06:14,413
No. I'm gonna figure out
how to get home on my own.
151
00:06:15,679 --> 00:06:16,814
(sighs)
152
00:06:16,848 --> 00:06:18,816
That's the kitchen.
153
00:06:18,850 --> 00:06:20,852
(sighs)
154
00:06:37,602 --> 00:06:39,603
(touch tones sounding)
155
00:06:39,638 --> 00:06:40,528
_
156
00:06:42,874 --> 00:06:46,336
- (touch tones sounding)
- _
157
00:06:46,778 --> 00:06:49,081
VOICE:
Ding, ding.
158
00:06:49,375 --> 00:06:52,414
_
159
00:06:52,449 --> 00:06:58,353
- (touch tones sounding)
- _
160
00:06:58,388 --> 00:07:04,926
- VOICE:
Ding, ding.
- _
161
00:07:04,961 --> 00:07:13,908
- (touch tones sounding)
- _
162
00:07:16,973 --> 00:07:18,942
(birds singing, dog barking)
163
00:07:18,975 --> 00:07:21,446
(sighs)
164
00:07:22,775 --> 00:07:23,880
_
165
00:07:23,915 --> 00:07:25,283
No.
166
00:07:30,821 --> 00:07:32,790
(gasps)
167
00:07:32,824 --> 00:07:34,725
Ah.
168
00:07:51,008 --> 00:07:53,011
(laughs)
169
00:08:02,586 --> 00:08:04,788
(sighs)
170
00:08:04,821 --> 00:08:06,158
(sniffs)
171
00:08:07,859 --> 00:08:09,661
Ugh.
172
00:08:09,694 --> 00:08:11,696
(sighs)
173
00:08:15,131 --> 00:08:17,134
(sighs)
174
00:08:23,140 --> 00:08:25,143
Ah.
175
00:08:32,550 --> 00:08:34,352
(laughs)
176
00:08:36,053 --> 00:08:37,856
(bicycle bell tinkles)
177
00:08:59,843 --> 00:09:01,713
(baby babbles)
178
00:09:03,381 --> 00:09:05,382
(door opens)
179
00:09:07,818 --> 00:09:10,713
Oh, I've created a monster!
180
00:09:10,748 --> 00:09:13,158
Sam just tweeted an
old photo of Shitstain
181
00:09:13,193 --> 00:09:16,070
in his scoliosis brace.
Why are you dressed like that?
182
00:09:16,105 --> 00:09:20,127
I was thinking you and I
could go out for a proper drink.
183
00:09:20,162 --> 00:09:21,311
Oh. Okay.
184
00:09:21,346 --> 00:09:23,635
Actually, I heard
about this cool new bar
185
00:09:23,668 --> 00:09:25,449
that's opening
tonight in Hollywood.
186
00:09:25,484 --> 00:09:27,770
Cool, new bar in Hollywood?
187
00:09:27,805 --> 00:09:29,139
You like old,
gross bars
188
00:09:29,173 --> 00:09:30,130
in sketchtown.
189
00:09:30,165 --> 00:09:32,378
Edgar might bring
a girl home tonight,
190
00:09:32,413 --> 00:09:33,678
so it's probably
in our best interest
191
00:09:33,710 --> 00:09:35,045
to evacuate the premises.
192
00:09:35,078 --> 00:09:35,727
I mean, can you imagine
193
00:09:35,762 --> 00:09:38,322
the nightmarish cacophony
of rage sounds
194
00:09:38,357 --> 00:09:40,417
that will emanate from that
room when he finally enters
195
00:09:40,450 --> 00:09:42,362
a live human woman
after years...
196
00:09:42,397 --> 00:09:44,422
Eject!
197
00:09:44,454 --> 00:09:45,857
New bar it is.
198
00:09:48,730 --> 00:09:51,830
It must be so cool to be
on such a long-running team.
199
00:09:51,865 --> 00:09:54,993
Hey, Put That Down,
Brian! is an institution.
200
00:09:55,028 --> 00:09:57,771
Honestly, it's hard
being the only girl.
201
00:09:57,806 --> 00:09:59,594
The guys are always
showing me their dicks.
202
00:09:59,629 --> 00:10:00,968
Or worse than that,
their balls.
203
00:10:01,003 --> 00:10:02,359
"Hanging brain,"
they call it.
204
00:10:02,394 --> 00:10:03,488
All the guys do that?
205
00:10:03,523 --> 00:10:05,274
For my birthday,
they gave me a mug.
206
00:10:05,309 --> 00:10:06,975
It looked like it had
a bunch of inkblots on it.
207
00:10:07,010 --> 00:10:08,702
Turns out, they had gone
to Color Me Mine,
208
00:10:08,737 --> 00:10:09,626
dipped their balls in paint
209
00:10:09,661 --> 00:10:11,058
and tea-bagged the mug
a bunch of times.
210
00:10:11,093 --> 00:10:12,770
That's sexual harassment!
211
00:10:12,805 --> 00:10:14,901
And I should know,
we were trained in that.
212
00:10:14,936 --> 00:10:17,534
There's no such thing
as sexual harassment in comedy.
213
00:10:17,569 --> 00:10:18,919
You're just
a "no fun tight-ass,"
214
00:10:18,954 --> 00:10:20,725
and then pretty soon,
you get the tired,
215
00:10:20,760 --> 00:10:22,793
"girls aren't funny" bullshit,
all stemming from the fact
216
00:10:22,828 --> 00:10:23,804
that you didn't want
to bone down
217
00:10:23,839 --> 00:10:25,797
with some insecure
five-six neckbeard
218
00:10:25,832 --> 00:10:27,892
who once had a meeting
with Bob Odenkirk so he thinks
219
00:10:27,927 --> 00:10:29,833
he's no longer
a repulsive troll.
220
00:10:31,501 --> 00:10:35,707
Look, I'm no expert, but...
221
00:10:35,740 --> 00:10:39,644
maybe you should
be more direct
222
00:10:39,676 --> 00:10:41,812
about your feelings
with these guys.
223
00:10:41,846 --> 00:10:45,102
I mean, I was
nervous to tell you
224
00:10:45,137 --> 00:10:48,619
how I felt, but...
225
00:10:48,652 --> 00:10:52,255
I'm really glad that I did.
226
00:10:52,289 --> 00:10:54,258
Yeah?
227
00:10:54,290 --> 00:10:56,294
Me, too.
228
00:11:07,986 --> 00:11:10,742
-
- (indistinct chatter)
229
00:11:10,775 --> 00:11:13,511
BARTENDER:
So, what can I get you?
230
00:11:13,544 --> 00:11:16,356
Hmm. What's the
Alpirsbach?
231
00:11:16,391 --> 00:11:17,761
That one originates
from Germany,
232
00:11:17,796 --> 00:11:20,010
but we've separated
the hydrogen molecules
233
00:11:20,045 --> 00:11:21,845
and infused them
with lavender.
234
00:11:21,880 --> 00:11:24,053
Yeah, okay. But what's
in it? Is it gin?
235
00:11:24,088 --> 00:11:25,560
This is a water bar.
236
00:11:25,595 --> 00:11:26,358
A what now?
237
00:11:26,391 --> 00:11:27,792
Aechtoeau
238
00:11:27,826 --> 00:11:30,540
serves
the finest artisanal water
239
00:11:30,575 --> 00:11:32,464
from around the globe.
240
00:11:32,497 --> 00:11:34,412
Jimmy, what's happening?
241
00:11:34,447 --> 00:11:36,890
Yeah, I read a listicle
242
00:11:36,925 --> 00:11:40,223
about the benefits of hydration.
243
00:11:40,258 --> 00:11:41,647
I am going to the bathroom,
244
00:11:41,682 --> 00:11:42,707
and when
I get back,
245
00:11:42,741 --> 00:11:44,409
you are going
to take me to a real bar
246
00:11:44,443 --> 00:11:47,357
and feed me cheap whiskey
until I forget about that time
247
00:11:47,392 --> 00:11:48,680
that I stopped being able
to have sex
248
00:11:48,715 --> 00:11:50,382
with my boyfriend
ever again
249
00:11:50,415 --> 00:11:54,419
because he took me to a bar
that only served water.
250
00:11:55,420 --> 00:11:58,357
(chuckles)
251
00:12:01,022 --> 00:12:06,015
_
252
00:12:06,785 --> 00:12:08,386
(indistinct chatter)
253
00:12:16,875 --> 00:12:18,744
Well, well, well.
254
00:12:18,779 --> 00:12:19,911
Ty Wyland.
255
00:12:19,944 --> 00:12:21,179
Jimmy. Nice to see you.
256
00:12:21,212 --> 00:12:22,785
Oh, so that's
how you're gonna play it, is it?
257
00:12:22,820 --> 00:12:23,836
Like the two of
you haven't been
258
00:12:23,871 --> 00:12:25,454
sneaking around in the wee hours
259
00:12:25,489 --> 00:12:27,421
like a goddamn Pinter play?
260
00:12:27,456 --> 00:12:28,887
- Who's Pinter?
- VOICE:
Ding, ding.
261
00:12:34,450 --> 00:12:37,690
_
262
00:12:41,567 --> 00:12:44,629
As I was saying,
the-the, um...
263
00:12:44,664 --> 00:12:46,771
- the...
- Gretchen, hi.
264
00:12:46,804 --> 00:12:50,809
Oh. You look
ravishing.
265
00:12:51,809 --> 00:12:55,763
Ty. Why...
are you?
266
00:12:55,798 --> 00:12:56,981
Oh, this is
my place.
267
00:12:57,015 --> 00:12:58,655
Got to say, not surprised.
268
00:12:58,690 --> 00:13:01,053
Right. You two catch up.
I'll be back.
269
00:13:02,688 --> 00:13:04,990
(chuckles)
270
00:13:05,023 --> 00:13:07,585
Ty, you opened a bar.
271
00:13:07,620 --> 00:13:09,372
- Kinda.
- Yeah.
272
00:13:09,407 --> 00:13:11,388
Well, not alone.
273
00:13:11,423 --> 00:13:13,494
Adam Levine, Swaggy P,
and I were in Vegas
274
00:13:13,529 --> 00:13:16,145
talking about Maslow's
hierarchy of needs.
275
00:13:16,180 --> 00:13:18,337
Interesting thing,
actually, with that...
276
00:13:18,370 --> 00:13:20,005
(grunts)
277
00:13:20,038 --> 00:13:21,707
Sorry I couldn't be there, babe.
278
00:13:21,742 --> 00:13:23,742
I know
it's perineum massage night,
279
00:13:23,775 --> 00:13:26,231
so I made you
this instructional vid.
280
00:13:26,266 --> 00:13:28,476
This'll help what's-his-butt
281
00:13:28,511 --> 00:13:31,182
slide right on out. So, first,
282
00:13:31,217 --> 00:13:33,869
it's time to lube those thumbs.
283
00:13:33,904 --> 00:13:36,255
Next, you're gonna take
those thumbs
284
00:13:36,288 --> 00:13:39,477
and insert them
about three centimeters.
285
00:13:39,512 --> 00:13:41,493
And I know you can handle it
because your thumbs
286
00:13:41,526 --> 00:13:42,927
are not as big as my dick.
287
00:13:42,961 --> 00:13:44,430
(laughs)
288
00:13:44,462 --> 00:13:45,430
Kidding.
289
00:13:45,463 --> 00:13:47,045
But, really, they're not.
290
00:13:47,080 --> 00:13:49,468
Now it's time to start
291
00:13:49,503 --> 00:13:52,431
the gentle massaging,
292
00:13:52,466 --> 00:13:56,269
round and down. Ready?
293
00:13:56,304 --> 00:13:59,370
Round and down.
294
00:13:59,405 --> 00:14:01,013
- (knocking)
- Good.
295
00:14:01,045 --> 00:14:02,614
Round...
296
00:14:05,550 --> 00:14:07,700
Uh, what the hell
happened to you?
297
00:14:07,735 --> 00:14:10,687
- My power got turned off.
- Well...
298
00:14:10,722 --> 00:14:13,793
(stammers)
I don't know how to do anything.
299
00:14:13,826 --> 00:14:16,773
Well, now,
don't beat yourself up.
300
00:14:16,808 --> 00:14:18,440
It's probably Mom's fault.
301
00:14:18,475 --> 00:14:19,865
Probably.
302
00:14:19,898 --> 00:14:22,902
She did always take
so many more photos of me.
303
00:14:23,901 --> 00:14:25,371
Do you need a place to crash,
304
00:14:25,404 --> 00:14:27,373
huh, until your power
gets turned back on?
305
00:14:27,405 --> 00:14:28,373
Yeah?
306
00:14:28,406 --> 00:14:31,042
- Yeah.
- Come on.
307
00:14:31,076 --> 00:14:33,651
- (chuckles)
- Yeah. The guest room's a nursery now,
308
00:14:33,686 --> 00:14:36,794
but you... Okay. You can sleep
in Vernon's man cave.
309
00:14:36,829 --> 00:14:38,763
He's at the hospital
and I'm going to prenatal yoga,
310
00:14:38,798 --> 00:14:41,920
so, eh, the house
should be fairly quiet.
311
00:14:41,953 --> 00:14:44,092
But I'm sure you're used
to the deafening silence
312
00:14:44,127 --> 00:14:45,424
of an empty house by now.
313
00:14:47,025 --> 00:14:49,995
(chuckling)
314
00:14:50,028 --> 00:14:51,029
Oh.
315
00:14:52,698 --> 00:14:55,554
- Mmm.
- You and I need to talk.
316
00:14:55,589 --> 00:14:56,689
No shit.
317
00:14:56,724 --> 00:14:59,551
Your girl's been sending me
banana-ass texts all day.
318
00:14:59,586 --> 00:15:01,307
Actually, I sent those messages.
319
00:15:01,340 --> 00:15:03,281
Look, just tell me,
320
00:15:03,316 --> 00:15:05,196
are you her side bitch?
321
00:15:05,231 --> 00:15:07,685
What? Hell no!
322
00:15:07,720 --> 00:15:09,604
Bitch eats
floor candy.
323
00:15:09,639 --> 00:15:12,618
Ain't seen a foreign film
in a decade.
324
00:15:12,650 --> 00:15:14,648
Do you know why
she has a burner?
325
00:15:14,683 --> 00:15:15,773
Oh, the God phone?
326
00:15:15,808 --> 00:15:17,211
I gave her that
because sleepy bitches
327
00:15:17,246 --> 00:15:19,004
don't deserve regular phones.
328
00:15:19,039 --> 00:15:21,288
She didn't tell you
about my clever speech?
329
00:15:21,323 --> 00:15:22,260
Now,
330
00:15:22,294 --> 00:15:25,800
I'm gonna go hit up that girl
with the booty jorts over there.
331
00:15:25,835 --> 00:15:26,866
- Oh, yeah.
- Mmm.
332
00:15:26,899 --> 00:15:28,977
She looks hydrated as hell!
333
00:15:29,012 --> 00:15:29,689
Yeah.
334
00:15:29,724 --> 00:15:31,254
...and, honestly,
335
00:15:31,289 --> 00:15:34,061
I was thinking
about postponing the whole trip.
336
00:15:34,096 --> 00:15:36,916
The Nepalese government
just put all these restrictions
337
00:15:36,951 --> 00:15:40,459
on Everest because of the whole
human waste pollution.
338
00:15:40,494 --> 00:15:42,313
Talk about a pile of shit,
right?
339
00:15:42,347 --> 00:15:44,316
Well, that's the problem,
Gretchen.
340
00:15:44,348 --> 00:15:45,750
No one does.
341
00:15:47,151 --> 00:15:51,991
Hey, isn't that
Christoph Waltz?
342
00:15:52,024 --> 00:15:53,625
Excuse me.
343
00:15:53,659 --> 00:15:55,227
Christoph!
344
00:16:01,635 --> 00:16:03,637
(exhales)
345
00:16:09,274 --> 00:16:13,687
- _
- (beeping)
346
00:16:29,743 --> 00:16:31,553
DOROTHY: This isn't about
forgetting a prop.
347
00:16:31,588 --> 00:16:32,803
You guys
never bring props.
348
00:16:32,838 --> 00:16:35,527
Uh, I made that big-ass
strawberry last month.
349
00:16:35,560 --> 00:16:37,529
Mm-hmm.
350
00:16:38,763 --> 00:16:40,364
I feel...
351
00:16:40,398 --> 00:16:42,533
I feel like this group
doesn't respect me.
352
00:16:42,566 --> 00:16:43,583
- (scoffing)
- JOSH: What?
353
00:16:43,618 --> 00:16:45,120
You guys are always
showing me your balls.
354
00:16:45,155 --> 00:16:46,644
- We're just joking around.
- Yeah.
355
00:16:46,679 --> 00:16:48,139
It's sexual harassment.
356
00:16:49,072 --> 00:16:50,729
- I'm a feminist.
- I was raised
357
00:16:50,764 --> 00:16:52,717
- by two strong lesbians.
- You know I only use
358
00:16:52,752 --> 00:16:54,666
- my balls ironically.
- Okay, and besides,
359
00:16:54,701 --> 00:16:56,108
okay, you didn't seem to mind
360
00:16:56,143 --> 00:16:58,050
my balls when you
were sucking on 'em
361
00:16:58,085 --> 00:16:59,206
- for all these years.
- Oh.
362
00:16:59,241 --> 00:17:00,413
- Boom!
- (chuckles)
363
00:17:00,448 --> 00:17:02,776
Hey, you want to know why nobody
wants you to direct their shows?
364
00:17:02,811 --> 00:17:06,159
Because you're a jerk and
your mise en sc?ne sucks.
365
00:17:06,194 --> 00:17:08,226
Oh, so you want to get honest
right now, huh?
366
00:17:08,261 --> 00:17:10,510
Well, honestly, I am clearly
367
00:17:10,545 --> 00:17:12,484
the most talented person
in this group,
368
00:17:12,519 --> 00:17:14,226
and, as such,
I am sick and tired
369
00:17:14,261 --> 00:17:16,865
of you guys refusing
to let me do "Baby Undertaker"!
370
00:17:16,900 --> 00:17:19,111
"Baby Undertaker"
isn't funny!
371
00:17:19,146 --> 00:17:20,237
You isn't funny!
372
00:17:20,271 --> 00:17:22,923
You know, I think
it's finally time to admit
373
00:17:22,958 --> 00:17:25,871
that Hey, Put That Down,
Brian! is going nowhere,
374
00:17:25,906 --> 00:17:27,769
just like all of you guys, okay?
375
00:17:27,804 --> 00:17:29,650
So, suck it, double suck it,
376
00:17:29,685 --> 00:17:31,591
you don't get to suck it
anymore.
377
00:17:31,626 --> 00:17:33,784
Tall Nathan
out.
378
00:17:33,818 --> 00:17:35,821
For good.
379
00:17:37,455 --> 00:17:39,558
Wait. Tall Nathan!
380
00:17:39,590 --> 00:17:40,926
I'm out, too.
381
00:17:43,927 --> 00:17:46,931
Are you okay?
382
00:17:46,965 --> 00:17:50,925
I can't believe Tall Nathan
talked to you like that.
383
00:17:50,960 --> 00:17:52,436
Things have been
getting weird.
384
00:17:52,469 --> 00:17:55,139
We've been sleeping together
on and off for the last seven years.
385
00:17:55,173 --> 00:17:56,775
Oh.
386
00:17:56,808 --> 00:17:59,277
I can't believe
the group is done.
387
00:17:59,310 --> 00:18:03,982
My God, I wasted all of my 20s
and part of my 30s.
388
00:18:05,382 --> 00:18:07,385
Can I do anything?
389
00:18:09,721 --> 00:18:12,123
You could hang out with me
a lot.
390
00:18:12,156 --> 00:18:15,726
I suddenly have tons
of free time.
391
00:18:24,502 --> 00:18:26,037
Watch your step.
392
00:18:26,070 --> 00:18:27,806
(chuckles)
393
00:18:27,839 --> 00:18:30,341
(clattering)
394
00:18:36,848 --> 00:18:39,184
PAUL:
Lindsay?
395
00:18:40,717 --> 00:18:43,069
You found me.
396
00:18:43,104 --> 00:18:45,822
Yeah. What are
you doing here?
397
00:18:45,857 --> 00:18:48,465
I don't know how to do anything.
398
00:18:48,500 --> 00:18:49,694
Hey.
399
00:18:49,726 --> 00:18:51,662
(clattering)
400
00:18:51,696 --> 00:18:54,331
- I'm here.
- (sniffling)
401
00:18:54,365 --> 00:18:57,536
Everything's gonna be okay.
Shh.
402
00:18:57,569 --> 00:18:59,772
Wh-Whoa.
403
00:18:59,807 --> 00:19:02,683
Linds, no.
404
00:19:02,718 --> 00:19:04,490
Look, it's real tempting.
405
00:19:04,525 --> 00:19:06,490
Your bazungas are epic stupid.
406
00:19:06,525 --> 00:19:08,661
And ever since Becca hit
her second trimest,
407
00:19:08,696 --> 00:19:10,592
she's been
a total cooze.
408
00:19:10,627 --> 00:19:12,954
But I love her,
409
00:19:12,989 --> 00:19:15,686
and I can't do that
to the mother of my child.
410
00:19:15,719 --> 00:19:17,388
(audio distorting)
411
00:19:23,093 --> 00:19:25,530
(normal): I'm gonna let you
get some sleep.
412
00:19:28,099 --> 00:19:31,235
Wait. Vernon?
413
00:19:31,269 --> 00:19:34,539
Do you think I'm useless?
414
00:19:34,571 --> 00:19:36,384
You might not be useful
in the tradish sense,
415
00:19:36,419 --> 00:19:38,744
but you're a good friend.
You make people happy.
416
00:19:41,745 --> 00:19:44,049
Will you hold me?
417
00:19:44,081 --> 00:19:46,752
Just for a minute.
418
00:19:50,253 --> 00:19:52,256
(grunts)
419
00:19:54,091 --> 00:19:56,393
Linds?
420
00:19:56,426 --> 00:19:58,562
Fine.
421
00:19:58,596 --> 00:20:01,433
Honk honk. A-ooga.
422
00:20:01,465 --> 00:20:04,069
(both chuckling)
423
00:20:04,101 --> 00:20:06,103
(crickets chirping)
424
00:20:18,448 --> 00:20:20,417
(door closes)
425
00:20:20,451 --> 00:20:22,454
426
00:20:34,631 --> 00:20:40,188
Time stands still
427
00:20:40,223 --> 00:20:45,327
Call your name
428
00:20:45,362 --> 00:20:49,480
Fall in love
429
00:21:00,224 --> 00:21:01,792
(sniffles, stammers)
430
00:21:01,826 --> 00:21:03,962
Jesus Christ.
431
00:21:03,994 --> 00:21:06,908
- What are you doing?
- Nothing. Just...
432
00:21:06,943 --> 00:21:08,999
(sniffles)
crying in my car.
433
00:21:09,032 --> 00:21:10,301
Is it something I did?
434
00:21:10,333 --> 00:21:12,503
No.
435
00:21:12,536 --> 00:21:15,139
So you're not... sleeping
with someone else?
436
00:21:15,173 --> 00:21:17,044
No, Jimmy. We're fine.
437
00:21:17,708 --> 00:21:20,644
Right.
438
00:21:20,677 --> 00:21:23,239
So, should I leave you alone
then?
439
00:21:23,274 --> 00:21:25,133
Yeah. Probably.
Okay,
440
00:21:25,168 --> 00:21:27,685
well, see you. Uh...
441
00:21:28,852 --> 00:21:30,455
So why'd you bring the phone?
442
00:21:30,487 --> 00:21:32,456
Oh, I...
443
00:21:32,490 --> 00:21:34,826
I like to play Snake
while I cry.
444
00:21:34,859 --> 00:21:36,327
Oh.
445
00:21:36,359 --> 00:21:40,064
Well, that's-that's
a classic game, that.
446
00:21:44,234 --> 00:21:46,237
447
00:21:54,212 --> 00:21:59,683
Oh, my,
we're beginning to blue, oh
448
00:21:59,718 --> 00:22:05,331
Oh, my, we're beginning
to blue, oh
449
00:22:05,366 --> 00:22:06,575
A wi...
450
00:22:06,610 --> 00:22:11,610
Sync and corrections by explosiveskull
www.addic7ed.com
451
00:22:11,660 --> 00:22:16,210
Repair and Synchronization by
Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0
31150
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