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[UPBEAT POP MUSIC]
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So let's talk about the 2011
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00:00:04,789 --> 00:00:06,560
White House
Correspondents' dinner.
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00:00:06,585 --> 00:00:08,127
Do you think maybe
you trolled Donald Trump
5
00:00:08,152 --> 00:00:09,259
into running for president?
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00:00:09,284 --> 00:00:11,085
Uh [CHUCKLES] honestly,
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the most memorable part
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00:00:12,648 --> 00:00:14,663
of that night for me was...
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00:00:14,688 --> 00:00:17,631
was knowing that the president
had just authorized
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00:00:17,656 --> 00:00:20,026
a secret raid to take out
bin Laden.
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And watching all these people
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who are gonna have
to report on it
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00:00:23,868 --> 00:00:25,227
at the break of dawn
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00:00:25,388 --> 00:00:29,529
- just get wasted.
- [BOTH LAUGH]
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I actually remember
that night very, very well.
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00:00:31,590 --> 00:00:33,683
Um, do you have any plans on
going back to D.C.?
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00:00:33,708 --> 00:00:37,365
No, I'm happy doing
the podcast and consulting.
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00:00:37,390 --> 00:00:39,244
You know, I'm definitely
hoping to find some time
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00:00:39,269 --> 00:00:41,073
later this year
to write a memoir.
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00:00:41,121 --> 00:00:43,387
Kelsey... Lorraine... Peters!
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00:00:43,412 --> 00:00:44,714
Lauren, you gotta knock.
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You got onto Yara.
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- Why do you have my phone?
- You got onto Yara!
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00:00:49,008 --> 00:00:51,105
Dude, it's the dating app
you have to apply for.
25
00:00:51,130 --> 00:00:52,585
Okay, I... I did not apply.
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00:00:52,610 --> 00:00:54,212
Oh, my God,
know me better, please.
27
00:00:54,237 --> 00:00:55,593
Come on. I applied for you.
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00:00:55,618 --> 00:00:57,271
Okay, look, we have Wall Street.
29
00:00:57,296 --> 00:00:59,453
- Wall Street. Ooh, DJ?
- Oh, my God.
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This looks like every other
terrible dating app.
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[KNOCKING AT DOOR]
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Yo, some of us need to shower.
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00:01:04,921 --> 00:01:07,835
- Kelsey got onto Yara.
- Wow.
34
00:01:07,886 --> 00:01:09,544
Wait, this is like Tinder
for the Illuminati, right?
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00:01:09,569 --> 00:01:11,179
Yes, and she's acting like
she's too cool for it.
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00:01:11,204 --> 00:01:13,127
I am not! I need
ten more minutes to get ready.
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00:01:13,152 --> 00:01:15,466
Wait, wait! Will you
just swipe a little bit?
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00:01:15,751 --> 00:01:17,632
- Ah.
- Okay, no.
39
00:01:17,657 --> 00:01:20,536
- Look at those eyes.
- Oh, hi there.
40
00:01:20,818 --> 00:01:23,489
Uh. Thi... this is Anna.
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00:01:23,514 --> 00:01:25,495
Kelsey just got onto Yara,
the dating app.
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00:01:25,520 --> 00:01:27,027
Oh, the celebrity one?
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00:01:27,052 --> 00:01:28,891
- Yeah.
- That's so cool.
44
00:01:28,916 --> 00:01:30,523
Okay, okay, I need
to finish getting ready.
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This is going to be so much fun.
46
00:01:31,927 --> 00:01:34,259
Oh, it already is! It's so fun.
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Oh, can I pee,
like, really quick?
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[PERCUSSIVE MUSIC]
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00:01:39,984 --> 00:01:41,694
[SIGHS]
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00:01:41,719 --> 00:01:44,682
? ?
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00:01:49,695 --> 00:01:51,075
Big news.
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00:01:51,100 --> 00:01:53,002
"People" magazine
wants to do a feature
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00:01:53,027 --> 00:01:54,367
on "Marriage Vacation."
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00:01:54,392 --> 00:01:55,813
Oh, that's so great!
55
00:01:55,838 --> 00:01:57,945
About Charles and Pauline
getting back together.
56
00:01:58,352 --> 00:02:00,085
- Wow.
- They even want to pay
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00:02:00,110 --> 00:02:02,622
for a vow renewal ceremony
in Hawaii.
58
00:02:02,647 --> 00:02:06,739
Oh. My gosh, that's amazing.
59
00:02:06,764 --> 00:02:08,950
- Don't think you'll be going.
- Hm.
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00:02:08,975 --> 00:02:10,477
I just heard
about "People" magazine.
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00:02:10,502 --> 00:02:12,522
Oh. We are so excited.
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00:02:12,547 --> 00:02:14,239
That's not happening.
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00:02:14,264 --> 00:02:16,285
Pauline and I are
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00:02:16,310 --> 00:02:18,104
getting a divorce.
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00:02:18,129 --> 00:02:20,099
- What?
- Oh, Charles.
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00:02:20,124 --> 00:02:22,424
I am so sorry.
67
00:02:23,167 --> 00:02:25,584
Uh, what are we going to do
about the book tour?
68
00:02:25,609 --> 00:02:26,914
It starts tomorrow.
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00:02:26,939 --> 00:02:28,941
Everything goes forward
as planned.
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00:02:28,966 --> 00:02:30,589
I was never part
of the publicity.
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00:02:30,614 --> 00:02:32,716
Not officially, but the book
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00:02:32,741 --> 00:02:34,406
has been gaining momentum
because people thought
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00:02:34,431 --> 00:02:36,711
it resulted in the author
and her husband
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00:02:36,736 --> 00:02:38,358
getting back together.
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00:02:38,383 --> 00:02:41,084
I don't know what to say, Diana.
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00:02:41,109 --> 00:02:44,372
I'm not going to live my life
to fit the novel.
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[FINDLAY'S "WASTE MY TIME"]
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00:02:47,474 --> 00:02:49,867
? They say I'm no good ?
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00:02:49,892 --> 00:02:51,987
? But I've never been better ?
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00:02:52,012 --> 00:02:54,548
? No, I've never been better ?
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00:02:54,582 --> 00:03:00,443
? I don't ever want
to waste my time ?
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00:03:00,468 --> 00:03:01,965
? Again ?
83
00:03:02,627 --> 00:03:06,646
? Don't you know how hard ?
84
00:03:06,671 --> 00:03:08,970
? I try... ?
85
00:03:08,995 --> 00:03:11,546
So Obama's former
speechwriter, Jake Devereux,
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00:03:11,571 --> 00:03:13,273
is making the rounds
with a memoir,
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00:03:13,298 --> 00:03:15,715
and I think it would be great
"get" for Millennial.
88
00:03:15,740 --> 00:03:17,506
Or Empirical.
Now, I've been planning
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00:03:17,531 --> 00:03:19,413
on going after Devereux
for weeks.
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00:03:19,438 --> 00:03:21,276
Who doesn't love a
planner, but I actually
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00:03:21,301 --> 00:03:23,210
have a meeting set with him
tomorrow in D.C.
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00:03:23,235 --> 00:03:25,978
So do I. Maybe you should
think about cancelling yours.
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00:03:26,032 --> 00:03:28,647
Work together. Jake
Devereux's book will be big.
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00:03:28,672 --> 00:03:29,897
So whoever gets him,
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00:03:29,922 --> 00:03:31,540
it'll be a win for the company.
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00:03:31,565 --> 00:03:34,393
[UPBEAT, DYNAMIC MUSIC]
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00:03:34,575 --> 00:03:36,441
? ?
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00:03:36,692 --> 00:03:39,027
And I mean, can you
believe this timing?
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00:03:39,052 --> 00:03:40,728
Just as the book about
our marriage comes out,
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00:03:40,753 --> 00:03:42,140
he wants a divorce.
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00:03:42,166 --> 00:03:43,467
Are you okay?
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00:03:43,519 --> 00:03:46,142
I don't know. I guess.
103
00:03:46,167 --> 00:03:48,178
I'm mostly just focused
on how everyone else
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00:03:48,203 --> 00:03:49,569
is going to react to the news.
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00:03:49,594 --> 00:03:51,321
The girls, you two,
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00:03:51,346 --> 00:03:53,194
everyone who's gonna come
hear me read.
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00:03:53,219 --> 00:03:55,642
- It's none of their business.
- I made it their business.
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00:03:55,667 --> 00:03:56,882
People are gonna want to know
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00:03:56,907 --> 00:03:58,875
how's the real life
Kate and Karl?
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00:03:58,900 --> 00:04:01,351
Say they're doing great,
never been better.
111
00:04:01,463 --> 00:04:03,165
So lie?
112
00:04:03,328 --> 00:04:05,270
Postpone the truth.
113
00:04:05,486 --> 00:04:06,748
At least until you make
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00:04:06,773 --> 00:04:08,555
the "New York Times"
Best Seller List.
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00:04:08,730 --> 00:04:10,933
What do you think, Liza?
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00:04:11,074 --> 00:04:13,217
[CLASSICAL MUSIC PLAYING]
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00:04:13,448 --> 00:04:14,959
? ?
118
00:04:14,984 --> 00:04:16,845
I, uh...
119
00:04:17,602 --> 00:04:21,069
I think, once you've
created a story,
120
00:04:21,399 --> 00:04:24,021
other people want to
believe it as much as you do.
121
00:04:24,130 --> 00:04:27,758
So true. Honesty can be
very self-indulgent.
122
00:04:27,783 --> 00:04:29,862
I don't know.
I'm a terrible liar.
123
00:04:29,887 --> 00:04:31,817
Just talk about your
relationship when it was good.
124
00:04:31,842 --> 00:04:34,485
It's really just a lie
of verb tenses.
125
00:04:34,539 --> 00:04:36,218
We could practice.
126
00:04:36,755 --> 00:04:37,977
Okay.
127
00:04:38,002 --> 00:04:40,266
Uh, let's see. When it was good?
128
00:04:40,793 --> 00:04:43,155
Ah, this is gonna make me sad.
129
00:04:44,193 --> 00:04:45,754
Well...
130
00:04:46,443 --> 00:04:48,521
He used to write me these...
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00:04:49,078 --> 00:04:52,105
He... writes me
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00:04:52,130 --> 00:04:54,590
these little love poems
on sticky notes
133
00:04:54,615 --> 00:04:56,336
and puts them
in the book I'm reading.
134
00:04:56,361 --> 00:04:57,582
That's a good one.
135
00:04:57,607 --> 00:04:58,921
[VOICE BREAKING] Yeah.
136
00:04:58,946 --> 00:05:00,728
And when we go to the country
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00:05:00,753 --> 00:05:02,268
in the summer
138
00:05:02,613 --> 00:05:04,906
we always make love outside.
139
00:05:04,931 --> 00:05:06,581
[AWKWARDLY] Aw.
140
00:05:06,606 --> 00:05:08,858
And now we're never going
to make love again.
141
00:05:08,883 --> 00:05:11,078
That's enough. Very, very good.
142
00:05:11,103 --> 00:05:12,925
You probably don't need
to get that detailed.
143
00:05:12,950 --> 00:05:14,800
- [SNIFFLES]
- The bottle.
144
00:05:14,825 --> 00:05:17,133
[UPBEAT POP MUSIC]
145
00:05:17,570 --> 00:05:23,226
? ?
146
00:05:25,817 --> 00:05:27,381
Hi.
147
00:05:28,501 --> 00:05:29,963
How are you?
148
00:05:29,988 --> 00:05:32,571
Um. I'm, uh... I'm fine.
149
00:05:32,801 --> 00:05:36,296
I was, um, surprised
to hear about you and Pauline.
150
00:05:36,503 --> 00:05:39,515
I guess maybe I thought
it was working out.
151
00:05:40,522 --> 00:05:43,389
This must be really tough
on you and the girls.
152
00:05:44,271 --> 00:05:46,273
Actually, it has been tough.
153
00:05:47,700 --> 00:05:49,592
Anytime you need me, I'm here.
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00:05:50,192 --> 00:05:53,734
Uh, I mean, not here here.
I know this isn't a good place.
155
00:05:54,086 --> 00:05:56,463
Uh, yeah. Yeah, it's not.
156
00:05:56,488 --> 00:06:00,953
How about we get together
after Pauline's book tour?
157
00:06:01,126 --> 00:06:04,555
There is a lot that I want
to talk to you about.
158
00:06:04,999 --> 00:06:06,590
Of course.
159
00:06:07,477 --> 00:06:08,831
I look forward to it.
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00:06:14,791 --> 00:06:17,484
[UPBEAT MUSIC]
161
00:06:17,509 --> 00:06:20,802
? ?
162
00:06:21,004 --> 00:06:23,768
"And that night
at the dinner table
163
00:06:23,793 --> 00:06:25,635
"in front of the kids,
164
00:06:25,783 --> 00:06:27,525
"he took my hand,
165
00:06:27,711 --> 00:06:30,927
"and for the second time
in our relationship,
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00:06:32,072 --> 00:06:33,622
"he proposed."
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00:06:33,647 --> 00:06:36,650
[APPLAUSE]
168
00:06:40,641 --> 00:06:42,150
Thank you, Pauline.
169
00:06:42,175 --> 00:06:43,716
What a special treat for us
170
00:06:43,741 --> 00:06:45,706
having you hear
at Temple Israel.
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00:06:45,731 --> 00:06:47,513
Well, thank you so much
for having me.
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00:06:47,538 --> 00:06:50,404
Ooh, I see a lot
of familiar faces in the crowd
173
00:06:50,429 --> 00:06:53,339
who can't wait to get up
and ask questions.
174
00:06:53,364 --> 00:06:55,746
Please, queue up
at the microphone.
175
00:06:55,984 --> 00:06:57,036
Ooh.
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00:06:57,061 --> 00:06:59,357
- [CHUCKLES]
- Goodness.
177
00:06:59,998 --> 00:07:02,788
- Hi, Pauline. Fern Hirsch.
- Hi, Fern.
178
00:07:02,813 --> 00:07:04,755
Can you talk a little bit
about the process?
179
00:07:04,780 --> 00:07:06,549
- My writing process?
- No.
180
00:07:06,574 --> 00:07:09,041
The process of getting back
together with your husband.
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00:07:09,987 --> 00:07:11,818
Oh, um.
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00:07:11,843 --> 00:07:14,138
- Smile.
- I, um...
183
00:07:14,163 --> 00:07:15,993
Um...
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00:07:18,917 --> 00:07:21,500
Um, you know,
185
00:07:21,525 --> 00:07:23,627
working together
brought us closer.
186
00:07:23,652 --> 00:07:26,478
I think we were able to really
187
00:07:26,795 --> 00:07:29,217
rediscover ourselves
as partners.
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00:07:29,242 --> 00:07:31,875
You didn't seem like strangers
after all of that time apart?
189
00:07:31,900 --> 00:07:34,322
- I know I would.
- Suddenly it's the Fern show.
190
00:07:34,347 --> 00:07:38,171
You know, sometimes sex
is better with a stranger.
191
00:07:38,196 --> 00:07:41,008
[LAUGHTER]
192
00:07:41,033 --> 00:07:44,929
[CRYING SOFTLY]
193
00:07:44,954 --> 00:07:46,458
I think she'll be better
one-on-one.
194
00:07:46,483 --> 00:07:47,678
She has to be.
195
00:07:48,239 --> 00:07:50,048
Pauline Turner Brooks,
196
00:07:50,073 --> 00:07:51,948
thank you for being on Bookworm.
197
00:07:51,973 --> 00:07:53,781
Thank you, Michael,
and I'm so sorry
198
00:07:53,806 --> 00:07:56,363
- I couldn't join you in LA.
- As am I.
199
00:07:56,388 --> 00:07:59,562
Well let's jump right in.
What a story.
200
00:07:59,587 --> 00:08:01,900
It's like fiction meets memoir.
201
00:08:01,925 --> 00:08:05,068
Yes. Yes, but mostly fiction.
202
00:08:05,093 --> 00:08:08,157
Well, the way you talk
about your husband
203
00:08:08,182 --> 00:08:10,609
and your life together,
204
00:08:10,634 --> 00:08:12,841
they say that God
is in the details.
205
00:08:12,866 --> 00:08:15,760
Or the devil,
depending on who you ask.
206
00:08:15,785 --> 00:08:20,709
Well may I ask, how is your
real-life relationship?
207
00:08:20,734 --> 00:08:22,698
- You just did.
- We knew he would.
208
00:08:22,828 --> 00:08:25,643
Oh, it's...
209
00:08:26,121 --> 00:08:27,715
Um...
210
00:08:27,740 --> 00:08:29,037
It's, uh...
211
00:08:29,062 --> 00:08:31,631
Land the plane, land the plane.
212
00:08:31,656 --> 00:08:33,946
It's... good.
213
00:08:34,361 --> 00:08:35,830
It's really good.
214
00:08:35,855 --> 00:08:37,974
Okay, I think she's got this.
215
00:08:37,999 --> 00:08:39,300
You wrote in your book
216
00:08:39,325 --> 00:08:41,639
that your sex life had become
217
00:08:41,664 --> 00:08:43,628
"routine but serviceable,
218
00:08:43,653 --> 00:08:48,767
"like the many Italian bistros
on the Upper East Side."
219
00:08:48,975 --> 00:08:52,236
What kind of restaurant
would you say your sex life
220
00:08:52,261 --> 00:08:55,148
is like now
since the "vacation"?
221
00:08:55,558 --> 00:08:57,100
Well...
222
00:08:57,125 --> 00:08:58,838
It's hot.
223
00:08:59,214 --> 00:09:00,656
So...
224
00:09:01,475 --> 00:09:03,464
Thai, I guess?
225
00:09:03,489 --> 00:09:06,138
Or, um, Korean barbecue?
[SNIFFLES]
226
00:09:06,163 --> 00:09:08,642
[CRYING] We have a hot
227
00:09:08,667 --> 00:09:12,651
Korean barbecue sex
and it's just so...
228
00:09:13,111 --> 00:09:14,848
So...
229
00:09:15,421 --> 00:09:18,896
[SOBBING] Spicy.
230
00:09:20,151 --> 00:09:23,160
[ELECTRONIC MUSIC]
231
00:09:23,185 --> 00:09:24,812
? ?
232
00:09:24,837 --> 00:09:26,065
So there's so many people.
233
00:09:26,090 --> 00:09:28,822
Brad Pitt, George Clooney,
Leonardo DiCaprio.
234
00:09:28,847 --> 00:09:32,743
And these guys, they are
really good at basketball.
235
00:09:32,768 --> 00:09:35,432
But none of them have the guts
to guard the president.
236
00:09:36,231 --> 00:09:37,495
So I have to.
237
00:09:37,520 --> 00:09:39,315
- And he's good, right?
- And I'm...
238
00:09:39,340 --> 00:09:41,420
You know, terrible.
239
00:09:41,445 --> 00:09:44,068
They called me "All-Day"
because that's how long
240
00:09:44,093 --> 00:09:45,516
the president could score on me.
241
00:09:45,541 --> 00:09:47,940
[BOTH LAUGH]
242
00:09:47,965 --> 00:09:49,472
Aw, that still
had to be fun, though.
243
00:09:49,497 --> 00:09:51,837
Imagine all your heroes
laughing at you.
244
00:09:51,862 --> 00:09:54,474
Come on, it didn't bruise
your reputation too bad.
245
00:09:54,499 --> 00:09:56,723
I've seen the pictures of you
hanging out with movie stars.
246
00:09:56,748 --> 00:09:58,348
Yeah, you even dated a couple.
247
00:09:58,373 --> 00:10:00,496
Definitely not putting
that in the book.
248
00:10:00,521 --> 00:10:03,330
Well, even if you don't,
though I think you should,
249
00:10:03,355 --> 00:10:04,927
your book is gonna
be a best seller.
250
00:10:04,952 --> 00:10:06,337
- You think?
- Yes.
251
00:10:06,362 --> 00:10:08,214
You just have to publish
with the right place.
252
00:10:08,239 --> 00:10:09,537
And, of course,
that's Empirical.
253
00:10:09,562 --> 00:10:11,180
Or Millennial.
254
00:10:11,205 --> 00:10:13,291
We have a great track record.
255
00:10:13,404 --> 00:10:16,848
Our goal is to publish authors
with original voices.
256
00:10:16,873 --> 00:10:18,289
We also just signed
a first-look deal
257
00:10:18,314 --> 00:10:20,809
with Reese Witherspoon's
production company,
258
00:10:20,834 --> 00:10:23,315
which puts us
in a very unique position.
259
00:10:23,340 --> 00:10:25,437
And one of the benefits
of going with Empirical,
260
00:10:25,462 --> 00:10:27,264
there is no big, splashy,
261
00:10:27,289 --> 00:10:29,523
female-focused production
company attached.
262
00:10:29,548 --> 00:10:31,771
So you can shop your book
around anywhere you want.
263
00:10:31,796 --> 00:10:33,939
And you can keep
all the money for yourself.
264
00:10:33,984 --> 00:10:36,908
Either way you go,
you'll make a great choice.
265
00:10:36,933 --> 00:10:38,917
? Oh, darling ?
266
00:10:38,942 --> 00:10:41,242
? Don't you see how it is ?
267
00:10:41,267 --> 00:10:43,754
- You killed that.
- Thank you.
268
00:10:43,779 --> 00:10:45,774
You didn't do so bad yourself.
269
00:10:45,799 --> 00:10:48,695
Mm, but you know
he's gonna go with me, right?
270
00:10:48,720 --> 00:10:51,943
[CHUCKLES] You know what?
I love your confidence.
271
00:10:52,271 --> 00:10:54,714
Sometimes it's even sexy.
272
00:10:56,273 --> 00:10:57,731
Sometimes.
273
00:10:58,324 --> 00:11:01,493
? There's a sensation ?
274
00:11:01,518 --> 00:11:03,632
? In my bones ?
275
00:11:03,657 --> 00:11:06,759
Can I do half regular
and half sweet potato?
276
00:11:07,252 --> 00:11:09,313
Great. Thank you.
277
00:11:09,338 --> 00:11:11,916
[BREATHES DEEPLY]
278
00:11:11,941 --> 00:11:13,725
[PHONE CHIMES]
279
00:11:13,750 --> 00:11:16,898
? It's a savage dream into ?
280
00:11:16,923 --> 00:11:20,037
? To which I fell ?
281
00:11:20,062 --> 00:11:23,024
? I catch my breath ?
282
00:11:23,049 --> 00:11:25,738
? As I lose my hold ?
283
00:11:25,763 --> 00:11:30,703
? Tumble down the well
of no self-control ?
284
00:11:30,728 --> 00:11:35,125
? You stole my pulse
yet it beats for you ?
285
00:11:35,150 --> 00:11:38,529
- ? My sanity escapes me ?
- _
286
00:11:38,554 --> 00:11:41,077
? In this love so true ?
287
00:11:41,102 --> 00:11:46,625
- ? I love the way ?
- _
288
00:11:46,666 --> 00:11:49,374
- ? You haunt me, darling ?
- _
289
00:11:49,399 --> 00:11:51,958
- ? I want you, darling ?
- _
290
00:11:51,983 --> 00:11:57,337
- ? I love the way ?
- _
291
00:11:57,362 --> 00:12:00,170
? You haunt me, darling ?
292
00:12:00,195 --> 00:12:03,123
? I want you, darling ?
293
00:12:04,743 --> 00:12:06,877
- See you around?
- Yeah, later.
294
00:12:06,902 --> 00:12:09,245
- Thanks, again.
- Oh, you're welcome.
295
00:12:09,270 --> 00:12:11,319
- Bye.
- Bye.
296
00:12:12,372 --> 00:12:15,003
- You guys met?
- Yeah, Josh, y'girl was loose
297
00:12:15,028 --> 00:12:16,987
in the house and asked
to borrow some eyeliner.
298
00:12:17,012 --> 00:12:18,593
Let me tell you something
about the eyes.
299
00:12:18,618 --> 00:12:19,470
They are the window to the soul.
300
00:12:19,495 --> 00:12:21,779
They are also the doorway
to disease and infection.
301
00:12:21,804 --> 00:12:23,467
You didn't have
to let her use it.
302
00:12:23,492 --> 00:12:24,794
I shouldn't have been
asked, dude.
303
00:12:24,819 --> 00:12:26,330
We're all living
in this tiny apartment.
304
00:12:26,355 --> 00:12:28,155
Can we please just set
some ground rules
305
00:12:28,180 --> 00:12:30,302
- about bringing people home?
- Okay, okay, fine.
306
00:12:30,326 --> 00:12:32,465
Yes. Can we do it
over food, though?
307
00:12:32,491 --> 00:12:33,993
- I'm starving.
- Thought you'd never ask.
308
00:12:34,018 --> 00:12:36,325
All right. Let's go.
309
00:12:37,882 --> 00:12:39,305
All right, you have to walk them
310
00:12:39,329 --> 00:12:41,108
to and from
the front door, okay?
311
00:12:41,133 --> 00:12:44,143
No roamers, no moaners,
no giving out the Wi-Fi code.
312
00:12:44,168 --> 00:12:45,209
Oh, and they can have coffee,
313
00:12:45,234 --> 00:12:46,928
but they may not
have the cold brew.
314
00:12:46,953 --> 00:12:50,670
Okay, calm down. I just got
out of a terrible break up.
315
00:12:50,702 --> 00:12:51,801
- Mm-hmm.
- I'm gonna be having
316
00:12:51,826 --> 00:12:54,250
a lot of sex.
That's just what you do.
317
00:12:54,462 --> 00:12:56,477
Some people journal
furiously about how
318
00:12:56,502 --> 00:12:57,934
they wish they're
relationship had ended,
319
00:12:57,959 --> 00:12:59,710
and then they find
a surrogate relationship
320
00:12:59,735 --> 00:13:01,871
where they try to re-create
the break-up on their terms.
321
00:13:01,896 --> 00:13:03,306
I'm just saying
everybody's different.
322
00:13:03,331 --> 00:13:06,927
Okay, I ju... I need to break
this pattern, all right?
323
00:13:06,952 --> 00:13:09,177
I want to be the guy
that's into random hook-ups,
324
00:13:09,202 --> 00:13:11,756
not the guy who just keeps
falling in love with everyone.
325
00:13:11,781 --> 00:13:14,999
Josh, that is like me saying
I want to be athletic.
326
00:13:15,024 --> 00:13:17,583
Okay? I'm serious.
You're a born romantic, dude.
327
00:13:17,608 --> 00:13:18,741
There's nothing you
can do to change that.
328
00:13:18,766 --> 00:13:20,870
[GROANS] I need to change it.
329
00:13:20,895 --> 00:13:22,186
I just keep getting hurt.
330
00:13:22,211 --> 00:13:24,540
- Love just doesn't work for me.
- No, but it will.
331
00:13:24,565 --> 00:13:27,768
Okay, listen, you are gonna
meet that perfect person,
332
00:13:27,793 --> 00:13:29,356
and it is all gonna click.
333
00:13:29,381 --> 00:13:31,024
What if I already did?
334
00:13:31,344 --> 00:13:33,848
What if it's Liza?
335
00:13:33,873 --> 00:13:37,111
Listen, if you and Liza
are meant to be together,
336
00:13:37,136 --> 00:13:39,140
nothing can keep you apart.
337
00:13:40,302 --> 00:13:42,140
And I'm the romantic one?
338
00:13:42,165 --> 00:13:43,704
Yeah.
339
00:13:44,152 --> 00:13:47,020
Out of all the people
I could have met on Yara...
340
00:13:47,045 --> 00:13:49,215
I know. I was surprised
to see your profile.
341
00:13:49,240 --> 00:13:52,124
And to learn you're interested
in men and women.
342
00:13:53,192 --> 00:13:54,707
[GROANS]
343
00:13:54,732 --> 00:13:56,802
My friend Lauren applied for me.
344
00:13:56,827 --> 00:13:58,653
- Mm.
- Clearly she's more interested
345
00:13:58,678 --> 00:14:00,017
in meeting people for herself.
346
00:14:00,042 --> 00:14:02,020
- [PHONE CHIMES]
- Uh-huh, sure.
347
00:14:02,045 --> 00:14:04,208
[CHUCKLES]
348
00:14:06,929 --> 00:14:10,856
_
349
00:14:10,881 --> 00:14:14,883
_
350
00:14:18,870 --> 00:14:21,842
- I'll be right back.
- No rush.
351
00:14:22,636 --> 00:14:24,958
- [PHONE CLACKING]
- _
352
00:14:24,983 --> 00:14:28,702
_
353
00:14:32,046 --> 00:14:36,190
[UPBEAT MUSIC]
354
00:14:36,586 --> 00:14:38,957
? ?
355
00:14:39,737 --> 00:14:41,756
Ah.
356
00:14:43,158 --> 00:14:46,016
- Good morning.
- Good morning.
357
00:14:49,828 --> 00:14:51,202
Um...
358
00:14:51,355 --> 00:14:52,977
There are bagels in the lobby.
359
00:14:53,002 --> 00:14:55,893
Yeah, I'm good.
I'm actually meeting somebody.
360
00:14:56,472 --> 00:14:58,156
Me too.
361
00:14:58,346 --> 00:14:59,567
Hey, guys.
362
00:14:59,592 --> 00:15:01,098
- Hey.
- Hi, Jake.
363
00:15:01,123 --> 00:15:02,585
Sorry, I can't stay
for breakfast.
364
00:15:02,610 --> 00:15:04,795
I'm doing HuffPo Live
in an hour.
365
00:15:04,820 --> 00:15:07,915
Um, so, look,
I was really impressed
366
00:15:07,940 --> 00:15:10,318
with what you guys had to say
and I know the importance
367
00:15:10,343 --> 00:15:12,245
of surrounding yourself
with smart people,
368
00:15:12,270 --> 00:15:15,950
so I decided that I would like
to work with you.
369
00:15:15,975 --> 00:15:18,417
- Who?
- Both of you.
370
00:15:20,293 --> 00:15:22,155
Can we do that?
371
00:15:23,967 --> 00:15:27,266
- Why not?
- There are a few reasons.
372
00:15:27,291 --> 00:15:30,956
- But we can figure that out.
- Okay, fantastic.
373
00:15:31,299 --> 00:15:33,151
I feel really good about this.
374
00:15:33,176 --> 00:15:34,362
- Good.
- I'm glad.
375
00:15:34,387 --> 00:15:37,715
Great, so my lawyer
will be in touch.
376
00:15:37,740 --> 00:15:40,896
And I'm super excited,
so I'll see ya.
377
00:15:42,443 --> 00:15:43,905
Hey, Jake.
378
00:15:44,054 --> 00:15:45,315
Are you sure?
379
00:15:45,340 --> 00:15:48,046
You know, sometimes
three's a crowd.
380
00:15:48,078 --> 00:15:49,887
I mean one thing
no other publishing house
381
00:15:49,912 --> 00:15:51,912
is offering is
two amazing editors.
382
00:15:51,937 --> 00:15:53,519
I'm a first-time author.
383
00:15:53,544 --> 00:15:55,594
I need all the help I can get.
384
00:15:56,221 --> 00:15:58,550
- Okay.
- Okay?
385
00:15:58,797 --> 00:16:01,878
Oh, um, I saw you on Yara.
386
00:16:01,903 --> 00:16:05,157
[SUCKS TEETH]
Yeah, I saw you too.
387
00:16:05,182 --> 00:16:08,042
[BRIGHT POP MUSIC]
388
00:16:08,314 --> 00:16:12,798
? ?
389
00:16:16,882 --> 00:16:18,663
How is the tour going?
390
00:16:19,773 --> 00:16:21,579
Door open or door closed?
391
00:16:25,430 --> 00:16:26,686
Pauline is unhinged.
392
00:16:26,711 --> 00:16:27,866
She cries every time
393
00:16:27,891 --> 00:16:29,657
she's asked
about your relationship.
394
00:16:30,338 --> 00:16:31,575
Ah.
395
00:16:31,600 --> 00:16:35,149
I knew that talking about
the break up would be hard.
396
00:16:35,174 --> 00:16:37,296
But this... this, uh...
397
00:16:37,704 --> 00:16:39,456
That is truly unexpected.
398
00:16:39,481 --> 00:16:43,128
Uh, she's actually
telling people that, um,
399
00:16:43,376 --> 00:16:44,998
that you're still together.
400
00:16:45,023 --> 00:16:46,809
I thought it might
be a bad idea, but
401
00:16:46,834 --> 00:16:50,425
it's so hard to push back
with such raw subject matter.
402
00:16:50,450 --> 00:16:54,415
It's not your fault.
This is uncharted territory.
403
00:16:54,440 --> 00:16:55,967
Ugh, I had such high hopes.
404
00:16:55,992 --> 00:16:57,704
Well, this book
405
00:16:58,376 --> 00:17:01,302
may not be what the company
hoped it would be.
406
00:17:01,327 --> 00:17:04,675
It's definitely not what
Pauline hoped it would be.
407
00:17:05,140 --> 00:17:07,154
Yeah.
408
00:17:07,179 --> 00:17:10,756
I'm sorry, Diana,
for making your job harder.
409
00:17:12,544 --> 00:17:16,926
Charles, maybe you
should go tonight in my place.
410
00:17:16,951 --> 00:17:20,016
Wouldn't that just support
this fallacy?
411
00:17:20,041 --> 00:17:21,837
You're not supporting her lie.
412
00:17:21,862 --> 00:17:23,892
You're supporting her.
413
00:17:23,917 --> 00:17:27,300
[UPBEAT ELECTRONIC MUSIC]
414
00:17:27,325 --> 00:17:34,740
? ?
415
00:17:35,534 --> 00:17:37,666
- Liza, sorry I'm late.
- Hi, it's okay.
416
00:17:37,691 --> 00:17:40,293
How are you feeling?
Ah, nervous.
417
00:17:40,551 --> 00:17:42,285
All right, I'm gonna
talk to moderator
418
00:17:42,310 --> 00:17:43,674
before the Q&A starts.
419
00:17:43,699 --> 00:17:44,676
Hopefully I can get him to stick
420
00:17:44,701 --> 00:17:45,881
to questions about the novel.
421
00:17:45,906 --> 00:17:47,727
[CHUCKLES] You know you'd think
422
00:17:47,752 --> 00:17:49,614
the lying would get easier,
423
00:17:49,639 --> 00:17:52,117
but the more it accumulates,
the harder it gets.
424
00:17:52,974 --> 00:17:55,247
[SOFTLY] Yeah. Believe
what you're saying is true.
425
00:17:55,272 --> 00:17:57,246
Keep your answers short,
and remember, these people
426
00:17:57,271 --> 00:17:59,300
are here because
you gave them hope.
427
00:17:59,325 --> 00:18:01,227
Yep, false hope.
428
00:18:01,252 --> 00:18:03,315
Hope that they could
have the lives they wanted.
429
00:18:03,340 --> 00:18:06,182
It doesn't necessarily
mean saving their marriage.
430
00:18:06,207 --> 00:18:07,996
That can mean anything.
431
00:18:08,021 --> 00:18:11,250
Okay. Thanks, Liza.
432
00:18:15,929 --> 00:18:17,597
"It was a Tuesday.
433
00:18:17,622 --> 00:18:21,223
"Corina had piano lessons
and Jamie had ballet.
434
00:18:21,375 --> 00:18:25,007
"I was back in the routine,
and it felt like I never left.
435
00:18:25,032 --> 00:18:26,926
- "The one difference was..."
- Hey.
436
00:18:26,951 --> 00:18:29,135
No statements
and no two-part questions.
437
00:18:29,160 --> 00:18:30,832
And try not to pick
someone who came here
438
00:18:30,862 --> 00:18:32,136
for advice on their love life.
439
00:18:32,161 --> 00:18:33,325
How am I supposed to know that?
440
00:18:33,350 --> 00:18:34,411
Oh, you can tell.
441
00:18:34,436 --> 00:18:36,525
"And that night
at the dinner table
442
00:18:36,550 --> 00:18:37,892
"in front of the kids,
443
00:18:37,977 --> 00:18:39,673
"he took my hand,
444
00:18:39,698 --> 00:18:42,574
"and for the second time
in our relationship,
445
00:18:43,039 --> 00:18:44,775
"he proposed."
446
00:18:44,800 --> 00:18:47,522
[APPLAUSE]
447
00:18:50,475 --> 00:18:52,096
Thank you.
448
00:18:52,121 --> 00:18:54,121
Thank you, Pauline.
449
00:18:54,158 --> 00:18:56,537
Now we'll take some questions
from the audience.
450
00:18:56,562 --> 00:18:58,102
Oh, no, too eager. Keep going.
451
00:18:58,127 --> 00:19:00,450
Yes, over here on the right.
452
00:19:00,475 --> 00:19:03,225
Mm-mm.
453
00:19:03,250 --> 00:19:05,228
- [SIGHS]
- Hi, Pauline.
454
00:19:05,253 --> 00:19:07,155
- Beth.
- Hi, Beth.
455
00:19:07,180 --> 00:19:10,044
- Love your book.
- Aw, thank you.
456
00:19:10,069 --> 00:19:11,759
I have a personal question.
457
00:19:11,784 --> 00:19:13,101
Oh, of course you do.
458
00:19:13,126 --> 00:19:14,824
How's it working between you
459
00:19:14,849 --> 00:19:17,355
and the real-life Karl?
460
00:19:18,937 --> 00:19:21,159
- Um, it's...
- [DOOR OPENS]
461
00:19:21,184 --> 00:19:23,234
It's... [CHUCKLES AWKWARDLY]
462
00:19:23,259 --> 00:19:25,039
Well, the truth is...
463
00:19:25,470 --> 00:19:28,935
[SOFT MUSIC]
464
00:19:29,239 --> 00:19:31,981
? ?
465
00:19:32,238 --> 00:19:34,010
The truth is
466
00:19:34,731 --> 00:19:37,326
my marriage was over
before I left.
467
00:19:37,351 --> 00:19:38,756
[CROWD GASPS]
468
00:19:38,781 --> 00:19:41,011
And no matter what I did,
469
00:19:41,036 --> 00:19:42,684
no matter what he did,
470
00:19:42,709 --> 00:19:44,711
it wasn't gonna get fixed.
471
00:19:47,450 --> 00:19:49,848
This story is a fantasy.
472
00:19:49,902 --> 00:19:52,466
It's how I imagined it
for the couple in the book
473
00:19:52,491 --> 00:19:54,613
because I like happy endings.
474
00:19:55,144 --> 00:19:57,215
But for me,
475
00:19:57,596 --> 00:20:00,471
my story isn't over.
476
00:20:01,100 --> 00:20:03,896
And my happy ending
is still out there.
477
00:20:04,404 --> 00:20:08,369
[APPLAUSE]
478
00:20:09,337 --> 00:20:11,205
Thank you.
479
00:20:12,723 --> 00:20:15,754
[EXHALES SHARPLY]
480
00:20:15,779 --> 00:20:18,073
Okay, next question.
481
00:20:19,614 --> 00:20:21,931
Thank you too.
482
00:20:23,040 --> 00:20:24,989
- Charles, hi.
- Hi.
483
00:20:25,014 --> 00:20:26,435
I didn't know you were
going to be here tonight.
484
00:20:26,460 --> 00:20:29,096
I heard that Pauline
was having a hard time.
485
00:20:29,207 --> 00:20:31,920
And I assume that lying
was your idea?
486
00:20:32,795 --> 00:20:34,522
Charles.
487
00:20:35,707 --> 00:20:37,675
- Hi.
- Hi.
488
00:20:37,700 --> 00:20:40,433
- I'm glad you came.
- Me too.
489
00:20:40,458 --> 00:20:42,658
And I know that was hard, but...
490
00:20:43,306 --> 00:20:46,523
being honest was
the right thing to do.
491
00:20:46,548 --> 00:20:48,891
[LAUGHS]
492
00:20:48,916 --> 00:20:51,335
Well, I mean,
I wasn't truly honest.
493
00:20:51,360 --> 00:20:53,743
If I had been, I would have said
494
00:20:54,152 --> 00:20:57,295
that it was your career
and your ambition
495
00:20:57,320 --> 00:20:59,424
that ruined our marriage,
not mine.
496
00:20:59,449 --> 00:21:02,529
And that when we got married,
I thought we'd be a team.
497
00:21:02,836 --> 00:21:04,899
Right away, it was
all about you.
498
00:21:04,924 --> 00:21:07,346
I was just there
to be your rock.
499
00:21:07,749 --> 00:21:10,156
And you never noticed
how unhappy I was
500
00:21:10,181 --> 00:21:12,666
because you didn't want to.
501
00:21:14,770 --> 00:21:17,641
I'm sorry, Pauline.
502
00:21:17,666 --> 00:21:19,265
I really am.
503
00:21:19,290 --> 00:21:20,788
And you're right.
504
00:21:20,813 --> 00:21:23,563
Sometimes I am blind
505
00:21:24,469 --> 00:21:26,792
to what's right in front of me.
506
00:21:32,623 --> 00:21:34,444
Charles.
507
00:21:36,200 --> 00:21:38,202
Huh!
508
00:21:45,156 --> 00:21:46,272
? We were born ?
509
00:21:46,297 --> 00:21:48,549
? In summertime light ?
510
00:21:48,574 --> 00:21:50,218
Charles.
511
00:21:50,243 --> 00:21:52,705
Charles. Wait.
512
00:21:53,268 --> 00:21:54,690
Who are you?
513
00:21:55,097 --> 00:21:58,400
- What?
- Who are you?
514
00:21:58,425 --> 00:22:00,848
[OPUS ORANGE'S
"ARTIFICIAL HEART"]
515
00:22:00,873 --> 00:22:03,155
I think if you're asking,
you probably know.
516
00:22:03,390 --> 00:22:04,956
I thought I did.
517
00:22:05,373 --> 00:22:08,534
I'm just a woman who lied
about her age to get a job.
518
00:22:09,745 --> 00:22:12,817
- How long have you...
- It doesn't matter.
519
00:22:12,842 --> 00:22:15,089
- What else did you lie about?
- Let me explain.
520
00:22:15,114 --> 00:22:17,239
You betrayed me.
521
00:22:18,048 --> 00:22:23,139
You looked me in the eyes
for months and months,
522
00:22:23,164 --> 00:22:26,765
and you pretended to be
somebody else entirely.
523
00:22:27,067 --> 00:22:30,341
You are not the kind of person
that I want to have in my life.
524
00:22:30,366 --> 00:22:34,942
Unfortunately this company will
not survive another scandal.
525
00:22:34,967 --> 00:22:36,253
So from now on
526
00:22:36,278 --> 00:22:40,054
we have a professional
reporting relationship.
527
00:22:40,392 --> 00:22:42,546
Maybe it would be better
if I just left.
528
00:22:42,571 --> 00:22:46,521
- Synced and corrected by martythecrazy -
- www.addic7ed.com -
529
00:22:46,546 --> 00:22:48,652
I thought you did
all this to get a job.
530
00:22:48,677 --> 00:22:52,731
? You took a hammer to
my artificial heart ?
531
00:22:53,952 --> 00:22:56,167
? My walls fell down ?
532
00:22:56,192 --> 00:22:59,220
? You've broken through ?
533
00:22:59,270 --> 00:23:03,820
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