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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:14,877 --> 00:00:17,897 RENFIELD: Master, no! No, no, no! Sorry, Master! 2 00:00:18,917 --> 00:00:21,877 How many times have I told you, Renfield? 3 00:00:21,927 --> 00:00:25,737 You feed me one more cup of tomato juice... 4 00:00:25,787 --> 00:00:27,937 - But, Master, I... - I don't want excuses! 5 00:00:29,847 --> 00:00:31,917 I want fresh blood! 6 00:00:33,857 --> 00:00:36,877 I am trying, Master! But the paperboy got wise to my traps! 7 00:00:37,947 --> 00:00:40,857 Dad, you promised to be careful! 8 00:00:40,907 --> 00:00:43,867 Do I need to spell it out for you? M-O-B. 9 00:00:43,917 --> 00:00:47,837 I am Count Dracula, not Spell Dracula. 10 00:00:47,887 --> 00:00:52,807 M-O-B spells angry peasant mob howling for your dust. 11 00:00:52,857 --> 00:00:54,927 I know that! But I'm bored. 12 00:00:56,857 --> 00:01:00,867 Vladdy, tomorrow you'll stay home and entertain me! 13 00:01:00,917 --> 00:01:04,927 Invite your friends. Mmm, we can play Murder In The Dark. 14 00:01:05,727 --> 00:01:06,867 For the last time, no! 15 00:01:06,917 --> 00:01:10,807 If you need entertaining... get a TV. 16 00:01:10,857 --> 00:01:12,917 You want me to stare at a glass box all day? 17 00:01:12,967 --> 00:01:14,797 I'd rather be dead! 18 00:01:14,847 --> 00:01:15,947 And I am. 19 00:01:16,747 --> 00:01:18,787 (Metal clangs) 20 00:01:18,837 --> 00:01:21,767 And I love it. No television and that's final! 21 00:01:21,817 --> 00:01:24,797 If we get to do evil stuff, I'll stay home with you. 22 00:01:24,847 --> 00:01:27,787 Then it's settled. I shall buy a television! 23 00:01:27,837 --> 00:01:30,857 You, go barter with the peasants for their finest television. 24 00:01:30,907 --> 00:01:32,757 And you, 25 00:01:32,807 --> 00:01:34,887 clear up this mess. 26 00:01:34,937 --> 00:01:39,767 Why can't Vlad do it? It's because he's a boy, isn't it? 27 00:01:39,817 --> 00:01:43,727 No! It's because he's my son, he's my future, my dreams. 28 00:01:43,777 --> 00:01:45,867 - He is... - Going round to Robin's. 29 00:01:46,967 --> 00:01:51,757 Then I'm going, too. And you can't stop me! 30 00:01:51,807 --> 00:01:55,947 Fine! Fine, just remember to polish my coffin when you get home. 31 00:01:57,897 --> 00:01:58,887 Ugh! 32 00:01:58,937 --> 00:02:01,807 (Birds screeching) 33 00:02:02,897 --> 00:02:05,957 I can't believe you talked me into another vampire stakeout. 34 00:02:06,967 --> 00:02:11,867 We're slayers! It's our duty to fight the forces of darkness... 35 00:02:11,917 --> 00:02:14,787 Sssh! They're coming out! 36 00:02:18,747 --> 00:02:20,967 Off to commit evil deeds, no doubt. 37 00:02:21,767 --> 00:02:23,937 Or maybe they're just going to hang out with mates. 38 00:02:25,767 --> 00:02:26,947 - What a great idea. - Oh, no! 39 00:02:27,747 --> 00:02:28,947 You're in Vlad's class. 40 00:02:29,747 --> 00:02:31,887 You must befriend him. Gain his trust. 41 00:02:31,927 --> 00:02:36,737 One day the mask will slip and then it's out with the garlic and stakes. 42 00:02:36,787 --> 00:02:38,947 You want me to invite him round for dinner? 43 00:02:39,747 --> 00:02:42,937 Sometimes I think your heart just isn't in this slaying business. 44 00:02:52,927 --> 00:02:55,747 Of course it is, Dad. It's just... 45 00:02:55,797 --> 00:02:58,897 What if I was to try to get close to Ingrid instead? 46 00:02:58,947 --> 00:03:01,767 You're a chip off the old stake! 47 00:03:04,807 --> 00:03:05,827 Hey, Robin. 48 00:03:05,877 --> 00:03:09,747 - Do you want to smell my flower? - Do I look stupid? 49 00:03:09,797 --> 00:03:12,847 We're trying to win You've Been Shamed! You could be on telly! 50 00:03:12,897 --> 00:03:16,887 Great. I'm gagging to embarrass myself in front of my friends. 51 00:03:16,937 --> 00:03:20,817 How many times? You haven't got any friends. 52 00:03:20,867 --> 00:03:24,807 Robin, your friends are here! 53 00:03:24,857 --> 00:03:27,797 Ingrid, knew you couldn't keep away! 54 00:03:27,847 --> 00:03:31,737 - We're gonna make you a star! - What do you mean, "make"? 55 00:03:31,787 --> 00:03:34,857 - You know the TV show, You've Been Shamed? - No. 56 00:03:34,907 --> 00:03:36,837 Well, people make funny movies to send in. 57 00:03:36,887 --> 00:03:39,777 - For a prize of ?1,000! - We're gonna win it. 58 00:03:39,817 --> 00:03:41,827 With you as our leading lady! 59 00:03:43,747 --> 00:03:45,897 Have you clowns ever made a movie before? 60 00:03:45,947 --> 00:03:48,737 - We've been doing it for years. - Yeah? 61 00:03:48,787 --> 00:03:51,937 They film our holidays on Dad's clapped-out camcorder. 62 00:03:52,737 --> 00:03:54,957 - Our cinematic masterpieces. - Ten years of holidays! 63 00:03:55,757 --> 00:03:58,737 Merthyr Tydfil. Pontypridd. 64 00:03:58,787 --> 00:04:00,857 I forgot about this one Transylvania! 65 00:04:00,907 --> 00:04:05,767 - What? - 1994, holiday in Transylvania. 66 00:04:05,817 --> 00:04:07,917 That's just a few miles from our old castle! 67 00:04:07,967 --> 00:04:10,907 - I don't remember going. - It was years ago. 68 00:04:10,957 --> 00:04:12,947 Put it on. 69 00:04:13,747 --> 00:04:14,857 Put it on! 70 00:04:16,747 --> 00:04:18,867 'Dad said I can play with this, not you!' 71 00:04:18,917 --> 00:04:20,787 'Yes, I can!' 72 00:04:20,837 --> 00:04:21,947 'Steady lads, it's not a toy.' 73 00:04:22,747 --> 00:04:24,767 'Give me the camera, smelly.' 74 00:04:24,817 --> 00:04:26,887 'Come on, boys, don't fight.' 75 00:04:26,937 --> 00:04:29,787 Spielberg must be panicking so much. 76 00:04:29,837 --> 00:04:32,757 I've been to Transylvania and never knew! 77 00:04:32,807 --> 00:04:34,787 You're lucky to have lived there. 78 00:04:34,837 --> 00:04:36,857 I'd give anything to switch lives with you. 79 00:04:36,907 --> 00:04:39,867 - That's it! - What? 80 00:04:39,917 --> 00:04:43,817 You don't fit into your family, I don't fit into mine. 81 00:04:43,867 --> 00:04:46,727 I was in your village when I was a baby. 82 00:04:46,777 --> 00:04:49,797 What if we were accidentally swapped round? 83 00:04:49,847 --> 00:04:52,897 I know you don't fit in, but that's just because you're... 84 00:04:52,947 --> 00:04:55,867 individual, not because you're a vam... 85 00:04:55,917 --> 00:04:57,837 a Vlad. 86 00:04:57,887 --> 00:04:59,847 It would explain a lot, though. 87 00:04:59,897 --> 00:05:02,897 - Well, I'm convinced. - When are you moving out? 88 00:05:02,947 --> 00:05:05,917 Master, why don't you let me entertain you? 89 00:05:05,967 --> 00:05:11,867 Because I don't think I can survive another hour of Transylvanian Twist. 90 00:05:11,917 --> 00:05:15,827 Are you sure? I've made a new sparkly leotard. 91 00:05:15,877 --> 00:05:20,827 Now, let's see what mindless trash passes for entertainment these days. 92 00:05:20,877 --> 00:05:22,937 Up a bit... 93 00:05:23,737 --> 00:05:26,837 (Music plays on TV) Left a bit... just right. 94 00:05:27,967 --> 00:05:29,847 Master, 95 00:05:29,897 --> 00:05:32,887 I think you should know that I am in agonising pain. 96 00:05:32,937 --> 00:05:34,837 Perfect. 97 00:05:34,887 --> 00:05:36,867 Hold it there! 98 00:05:42,737 --> 00:05:45,837 Fantastic. You got the TV! 99 00:05:45,887 --> 00:05:48,827 - We're finally normal! - No son of mine is normal. 100 00:05:48,877 --> 00:05:50,967 You're banned from watching this thing! 101 00:05:51,767 --> 00:05:54,867 It'll turn you into a weak-willed, sheep-like native! 102 00:05:54,917 --> 00:05:57,727 Ingrid, you can watch it if you like. 103 00:05:57,777 --> 00:05:59,967 I hope you get hooked on that breather box. 104 00:06:00,767 --> 00:06:02,957 It will have no effect on me. I am incorruptible! 105 00:06:03,757 --> 00:06:06,777 Watch this! Boring. 106 00:06:06,827 --> 00:06:09,937 Boring... boring... 107 00:06:11,807 --> 00:06:13,857 (TV theme tune plays) 108 00:06:25,787 --> 00:06:26,937 Morning, Dad. 109 00:06:27,737 --> 00:06:28,837 Dad? 110 00:06:31,897 --> 00:06:35,737 Good old blood-free toast. The perfect breakfast! 111 00:06:36,777 --> 00:06:38,787 Has he been watching TV all night? 112 00:06:38,837 --> 00:06:41,907 Looks like it. OK, Dad, I'm off to school. 113 00:06:41,957 --> 00:06:44,797 Bye, Dad. Bye, Vlad. See ya. 114 00:06:45,777 --> 00:06:48,947 Sheila, you're here! My wife and I have waited a long time... 115 00:06:49,747 --> 00:06:53,737 - I thought you were incorruptible? - Shhh, quiet. 116 00:06:53,787 --> 00:06:57,827 Sheila is about to find out if Edna is really her daughter! 117 00:06:57,877 --> 00:07:00,897 - Doesn't she know? - Of course not, foolish girl. 118 00:07:00,947 --> 00:07:01,967 She has amnesia! 119 00:07:02,767 --> 00:07:04,947 'Here are the results of your DNA test. 120 00:07:05,747 --> 00:07:10,777 'I'm sorry to tell you, Edna is not your daughter! 121 00:07:10,817 --> 00:07:12,957 'However, I am your son!' 122 00:07:13,757 --> 00:07:16,767 - Huh? - Oh! 123 00:07:17,967 --> 00:07:20,787 Well, I didn't see that one coming! 124 00:07:20,837 --> 00:07:23,957 Of course not. It's really far-fetched and stupid. 125 00:07:24,757 --> 00:07:26,897 Oh, just go to school, Ingrid! 126 00:07:26,937 --> 00:07:30,887 I don't believe this! You love TV more than your children. 127 00:07:30,937 --> 00:07:34,777 I don't. I just love TV more than my daughter. 128 00:07:34,827 --> 00:07:36,777 Huh! 129 00:07:39,857 --> 00:07:41,907 - Have you eaten garlic? - Yes, Dad. 130 00:07:41,957 --> 00:07:45,727 What do you say if she invites you to see her coffin? 131 00:07:45,777 --> 00:07:48,817 - I'm not that sort of boy. Can I go? - Wait. 132 00:07:53,897 --> 00:07:55,887 I, er... 133 00:07:58,947 --> 00:08:00,887 I got you these. 134 00:08:03,827 --> 00:08:05,897 You're a slayer now, my son. 135 00:08:07,747 --> 00:08:10,907 Yeah, uh... thanks. 136 00:08:21,897 --> 00:08:24,807 OK, how about this? 137 00:08:24,857 --> 00:08:26,917 Bistritz Beer Festival, 1994. 138 00:08:26,967 --> 00:08:29,927 My parents drink too much ale and push the wrong pram. 139 00:08:30,727 --> 00:08:31,927 - That's possible, right? - Um. 140 00:08:32,727 --> 00:08:34,927 - Just think about it, that's all. - OK. 141 00:08:36,757 --> 00:08:39,767 Can I stop now? I'm starting to worry about you. 142 00:08:39,817 --> 00:08:41,937 Worry about yourself, zombie snot. 143 00:08:42,737 --> 00:08:43,867 What have I done now? 144 00:08:43,917 --> 00:08:48,747 You made Dad buy that TV. I'm now his third favourite. 145 00:08:48,797 --> 00:08:50,897 Come on, you know that's not true. 146 00:08:50,947 --> 00:08:53,967 You forgot Renfield You're fourth favourite! 147 00:08:54,947 --> 00:08:57,787 - Hey, Ingrid! - What?! 148 00:08:57,837 --> 00:09:01,907 - Don't you want your homework? - Oh, yeah... thanks. 149 00:09:01,957 --> 00:09:04,787 I'm sorry I snapped. 150 00:09:04,837 --> 00:09:07,797 It's my brother. He really bugs me. 151 00:09:07,847 --> 00:09:10,737 - Don't worry about it. - Yeah, we understand. 152 00:09:10,777 --> 00:09:12,767 - You do? - Yeah. 153 00:09:12,817 --> 00:09:15,807 You have met Robin? He's delusional. 154 00:09:15,857 --> 00:09:17,957 Keeps going on about being swapped at birth. 155 00:09:18,757 --> 00:09:21,907 Shame he wasn't. That'd solve all our problems. 156 00:09:21,957 --> 00:09:25,867 Yes... Yes, it would, wouldn't it? 157 00:09:25,917 --> 00:09:27,927 It really would! 158 00:09:30,917 --> 00:09:33,757 - Thank you. I owe you. - In that case... 159 00:09:33,807 --> 00:09:35,827 - Will you be in our movie? - Yeah, whatever! 160 00:09:35,877 --> 00:09:37,737 Safe! 161 00:09:39,947 --> 00:09:41,937 We'll see you later then? 162 00:09:42,737 --> 00:09:43,917 Ingrid, 163 00:09:43,967 --> 00:09:47,777 I couldn't help over-hearing you let the twins do your homework. 164 00:09:47,827 --> 00:09:49,907 Tell the headmistress. See if I care. 165 00:09:49,957 --> 00:09:51,857 That's not what I meant. 166 00:09:51,907 --> 00:09:54,897 If you ever want something doing properly, just ask. 167 00:09:54,947 --> 00:09:56,967 As if! 168 00:09:57,927 --> 00:10:01,857 Actually... there is something you can do for me. 169 00:10:01,907 --> 00:10:03,917 Meet me in the library after school. 170 00:10:07,787 --> 00:10:10,787 You could've written Lord Of The Rings by now! 171 00:10:10,837 --> 00:10:13,807 What's the rush? It's only homework... isn't it? 172 00:10:14,847 --> 00:10:18,797 It's kind of more like an evil plot to destroy my brother. 173 00:10:18,847 --> 00:10:21,927 Oh, OK. Erm, why? 174 00:10:22,727 --> 00:10:25,817 Well, you see, with Vlad gone, I get the lot. 175 00:10:25,867 --> 00:10:28,937 The castle, the coffins, my father's love... 176 00:10:29,737 --> 00:10:32,937 You're not evil. You just want your dad to understand you. 177 00:10:33,737 --> 00:10:37,777 - How did you know? - Believe me, I know what it's like. 178 00:10:37,827 --> 00:10:40,827 You know, I'm sensing a real connection here. 179 00:10:42,757 --> 00:10:44,777 So it's a shame I've got to kill you. 180 00:10:44,827 --> 00:10:47,837 - What? Kill me? Why? - It's a vampire thing. 181 00:10:47,887 --> 00:10:49,957 - Kind of what we do. - You're a vampire? 182 00:10:50,757 --> 00:10:53,727 Yep. Now this is going to hurt a lot. 183 00:10:53,777 --> 00:10:55,887 I'll hypnotise you so you don't scream. 184 00:10:55,937 --> 00:10:59,797 Can't you hypnotise me so I forget we ever had this conversation? 185 00:11:00,877 --> 00:11:02,877 Oh, right. 186 00:11:02,927 --> 00:11:06,947 Nice plan. Blood-spattered clothes are so 1600s. 187 00:11:09,927 --> 00:11:13,757 Ingrid is not a vampire. 188 00:11:13,807 --> 00:11:16,787 Everything is perfectly normal. 189 00:11:18,767 --> 00:11:21,777 And sort your hair out! 190 00:11:28,807 --> 00:11:31,957 - What? - Hello, Mr Count. Is Ingrid in? 191 00:11:32,757 --> 00:11:35,857 Who knows? Who cares? I'm missing important television. 192 00:11:35,907 --> 00:11:38,907 - She promised to star in our film! - Your film? 193 00:11:38,957 --> 00:11:40,907 How can you make a film? 194 00:11:40,957 --> 00:11:43,747 It's for You've Been Shamed. 195 00:11:43,797 --> 00:11:46,777 The winners get shown on national TV! 196 00:11:46,827 --> 00:11:49,847 You mean, you can make your own television 197 00:11:49,897 --> 00:11:51,857 and win fame and glory 198 00:11:51,907 --> 00:11:54,927 and all the peasants will worship and fear you? 199 00:11:55,727 --> 00:11:58,957 - Uh, sort of. - Do you want to help us? 200 00:11:59,757 --> 00:12:02,887 No, I'm going to steal your idea and enter the competition myself. 201 00:12:10,797 --> 00:12:12,897 Why do I have to do this stupid job? 202 00:12:12,947 --> 00:12:17,847 Because we have cameramen and make-up girls! 203 00:12:17,897 --> 00:12:19,827 Now get dabbing! 204 00:12:19,877 --> 00:12:21,817 Script editing lackey, come here! 205 00:12:25,877 --> 00:12:27,847 Let's run through the script. 206 00:12:27,897 --> 00:12:30,927 So, Renfield enters with a big bowl of blood. 207 00:12:31,727 --> 00:12:32,807 A big cream cake. 208 00:12:32,857 --> 00:12:35,827 He trips on a carelessly abandoned coffin lid. 209 00:12:35,877 --> 00:12:38,947 - A skateboard. - With hilarious results. 210 00:12:39,747 --> 00:12:42,877 Right, I think we're ready for a take. Make-up girl! 211 00:12:48,847 --> 00:12:50,727 Ingrid! 212 00:12:50,777 --> 00:12:51,867 (Renfield screams) 213 00:13:00,767 --> 00:13:02,817 Ingrid! 214 00:13:02,867 --> 00:13:03,957 Yes, Daddy? 215 00:13:04,757 --> 00:13:08,747 You and I are going to have a long, frank discussion 216 00:13:08,797 --> 00:13:10,807 about job satisfaction. 217 00:13:10,857 --> 00:13:13,867 - After you've cleaned up this mess. - OK, Dad. 218 00:13:18,847 --> 00:13:20,727 What's this? 219 00:13:22,787 --> 00:13:27,867 "Top Secret. This diary belongs to Magda Westenra..." 220 00:13:27,917 --> 00:13:32,767 That's your mother's private diary! Give it to me. Give it to me! 221 00:13:35,817 --> 00:13:36,907 "Private. 222 00:13:36,957 --> 00:13:39,877 "This means you, Countie! 223 00:13:39,927 --> 00:13:44,747 "If I ever find out you've read this, I will twist your... 224 00:13:45,927 --> 00:13:47,917 "until you..." What? 225 00:13:47,967 --> 00:13:51,867 I think maybe we should honour your mother's privacy. 226 00:13:52,767 --> 00:13:53,927 Nah. 227 00:13:55,777 --> 00:13:57,957 Let me read it, Dad. I'll find a good bit. 228 00:13:59,747 --> 00:14:01,857 "July 7th, 1994. 229 00:14:01,907 --> 00:14:05,867 "The Count is driving me mad. He is so sexist! 230 00:14:05,917 --> 00:14:07,937 "He ignores our brilliant daughter 231 00:14:08,737 --> 00:14:10,857 "and spends all his time with Vladimir. 232 00:14:10,907 --> 00:14:14,917 "He says women just don't have what it takes to be vampires. 233 00:14:14,967 --> 00:14:16,847 MAG DA: But I will show him. 234 00:14:16,897 --> 00:14:21,897 I will swap Vladimir with the baby from the boring British family. 235 00:14:21,947 --> 00:14:23,927 They will take him away to Britain 236 00:14:24,727 --> 00:14:26,897 and the Count will bring their baby up as his own! 237 00:14:27,867 --> 00:14:31,927 Then we will see who's got what it takes! Ha, ha, ha! 238 00:14:32,727 --> 00:14:35,737 "Ha, ha, ha." 239 00:14:35,787 --> 00:14:37,927 Mistress Magda always enjoyed a good laugh. 240 00:14:39,937 --> 00:14:42,827 Vlad, my boy... 241 00:14:42,877 --> 00:14:45,877 - You're not my boy! - I knew it! I knew it! 242 00:14:45,927 --> 00:14:48,967 I was on holiday in Transylvania 12 years ago! 243 00:14:49,767 --> 00:14:51,867 I must be your son... Father! 244 00:14:51,917 --> 00:14:54,927 Listen to yourselves! You sound like a bad soap plot! 245 00:14:55,727 --> 00:14:58,787 - It sounds like a good soap plot. - Yeah, right. 246 00:14:59,907 --> 00:15:02,867 Dad, you don't believe him, 247 00:15:02,917 --> 00:15:04,897 do you? 248 00:15:04,947 --> 00:15:08,937 Tell me more about this holiday in Transylvania. 249 00:15:09,737 --> 00:15:11,897 Ah, if I might make a suggestion? 250 00:15:11,947 --> 00:15:14,907 We should settle this as they do on that TV. 251 00:15:15,917 --> 00:15:19,917 - With a DNA test! - What's a D and A test? 252 00:15:19,967 --> 00:15:23,767 It's a scientific way of finding out if people are related. 253 00:15:23,817 --> 00:15:25,877 Related? I'm your son, Dad! 254 00:15:25,927 --> 00:15:28,767 Proceed with the test. 255 00:15:28,817 --> 00:15:30,957 (Thunder claps) 256 00:15:32,737 --> 00:15:34,947 So, first I'll need a skin sample. 257 00:15:35,747 --> 00:15:38,787 Um, you could just use a spatula? 258 00:15:38,837 --> 00:15:40,747 Spoilsport! 259 00:15:56,907 --> 00:15:58,867 (Renfield cackles) 260 00:16:00,807 --> 00:16:03,907 Are we all ready to spin the Wheel of DNA? 261 00:16:03,957 --> 00:16:05,967 If this is science, I'm a banana. 262 00:16:06,767 --> 00:16:08,807 Shut it before I'll peel you, clever clogs. 263 00:16:08,857 --> 00:16:13,797 This is Transylvanian science. Much more accurate than boring British science. 264 00:16:13,847 --> 00:16:14,967 And it's entertaining! Spin the wheel! 265 00:16:18,747 --> 00:16:19,917 (Electricity sparks) 266 00:16:39,907 --> 00:16:41,837 (Alarm sounds) 267 00:16:46,947 --> 00:16:50,867 There we go. Robin was your son all along. What a revelation. 268 00:16:50,917 --> 00:16:53,747 - Can I have Vlad's room? - No, you can't. 269 00:16:53,797 --> 00:16:56,747 I'm having Vlad's room. Right, Dad? 270 00:16:56,797 --> 00:16:59,767 I thought you were supposed to be Vlad's friend. 271 00:16:59,817 --> 00:17:01,957 Real vampires don't have friends. 272 00:17:04,767 --> 00:17:05,957 I like this boy already. 273 00:17:06,757 --> 00:17:09,777 Vlad, are you OK? 274 00:17:09,827 --> 00:17:13,827 I can't believe it. I don't know what to do. 275 00:17:13,877 --> 00:17:15,847 You can start by clearing out my room. 276 00:17:15,897 --> 00:17:17,837 - My room! - Children, children. 277 00:17:17,887 --> 00:17:19,897 This is no time to argue. 278 00:17:19,947 --> 00:17:22,877 Just get this impostor out of my castle! 279 00:17:22,927 --> 00:17:24,787 Dad! 280 00:17:25,797 --> 00:17:26,957 Apparently not! 281 00:17:35,967 --> 00:17:39,857 I thought this would please you, Master Vladimir. 282 00:17:39,907 --> 00:17:42,757 Haven't you always wanted to be normal? 283 00:17:42,807 --> 00:17:46,907 It's not that. It's Dad. I mean, Count Dracula. 284 00:17:46,957 --> 00:17:49,737 I never thought he could be so horrible. 285 00:17:49,787 --> 00:17:51,847 The name might have given you a clue. 286 00:17:51,897 --> 00:17:53,917 Are you ready to pack me now? 287 00:17:53,967 --> 00:17:56,907 Wait. I want you to stay 288 00:17:56,957 --> 00:17:59,917 and look after my so-called friend Robin for me. 289 00:17:59,967 --> 00:18:02,837 Really look after him, if you know what I mean. 290 00:18:02,887 --> 00:18:07,927 I'm surprised, master Vlad. I thought you'd want me to make his life a living hell. 291 00:18:08,727 --> 00:18:12,777 I was being ironic, Zoltan. It's a breather thing. 292 00:18:15,727 --> 00:18:17,757 It's a breather thing... 293 00:18:21,967 --> 00:18:25,777 - How did it go with Ingrid today? - Ingrid is not a vampire. 294 00:18:25,827 --> 00:18:27,887 Everything is perfectly normal. 295 00:18:27,937 --> 00:18:30,837 What did she say to you? Exactly? 296 00:18:30,887 --> 00:18:34,807 Ingrid is not a vampire. Everything is perfectly normal. 297 00:18:34,857 --> 00:18:38,777 Good garlic, the lad's been hypnotised! Look at me! 298 00:18:40,877 --> 00:18:43,747 Hey, Dad. What's with the fingers? 299 00:18:43,797 --> 00:18:46,927 - You've been hypnotised. - I would've remembered! 300 00:18:47,727 --> 00:18:49,957 No, you wouldn't! Now, concentrate. 301 00:18:50,757 --> 00:18:52,837 Can you remember talking to Ingrid? 302 00:18:52,887 --> 00:18:54,827 - No. - I knew it. 303 00:18:54,877 --> 00:18:56,937 Hypnotism's an old vampire mind trick. 304 00:18:57,737 --> 00:18:59,887 Only trained slayers like me can resist. 305 00:18:59,937 --> 00:19:04,747 But no vampire hypnotises my son and gets away with it. 306 00:19:04,797 --> 00:19:06,937 This is going to involve wooden pointy things, isn't it? 307 00:19:07,737 --> 00:19:08,897 You betcha! 308 00:19:08,947 --> 00:19:12,737 Tomorrow, we're going slaying! Again. 309 00:19:14,877 --> 00:19:16,947 I like the new hairstyle. 310 00:19:26,727 --> 00:19:29,937 We'll call this one Robin's First Flight. 311 00:19:30,737 --> 00:19:32,937 - He doesn't stay in the air long. - We'll run it in slow motion. 312 00:19:33,737 --> 00:19:35,767 You're doing well, my boy. 313 00:19:35,817 --> 00:19:37,837 Look at that... 314 00:19:37,887 --> 00:19:40,777 He's losing his reflection already. 315 00:19:45,927 --> 00:19:50,787 Master, this son is no improvement on the last one! 316 00:19:50,837 --> 00:19:53,827 Ignore him, Father, he's just jealous! 317 00:19:53,877 --> 00:19:56,827 I know I'm a better vampire than Vlad. Let me prove it! 318 00:19:56,877 --> 00:19:59,737 How? 319 00:19:59,787 --> 00:20:00,847 Master. 320 00:20:00,897 --> 00:20:05,817 There was one thing that Master Vlad would never do. 321 00:20:05,867 --> 00:20:09,757 He would never let you bite the local peasants! 322 00:20:09,807 --> 00:20:12,847 Mmmm. An excellent idea! 323 00:20:12,897 --> 00:20:15,867 You will catch me a nice juicy local for my dinner. 324 00:20:24,797 --> 00:20:28,847 You can't hung out there. People will think you're homeless. 325 00:20:28,897 --> 00:20:30,797 That's right, you are! 326 00:20:30,847 --> 00:20:32,887 Don't you think you've upset him enough? 327 00:20:32,937 --> 00:20:35,767 It's a good start, but I can do better. 328 00:20:35,817 --> 00:20:40,737 Very convenient, the way you "found" that diary. 329 00:20:40,787 --> 00:20:43,937 I thought so. The good news is Dad loves Robin. 330 00:20:44,737 --> 00:20:47,797 How does it feel to be fifth favourite? 331 00:20:47,847 --> 00:20:50,957 - I'm sorry, Ingrid. - What? 332 00:20:51,757 --> 00:20:55,807 I didn't realise how bad it felt when Dad ignored you. 333 00:20:55,857 --> 00:20:58,867 - Feeling guilty, Cruella? - Of course not. 334 00:20:58,917 --> 00:21:00,957 I'm a vampire, I've no conscience! 335 00:21:01,757 --> 00:21:02,927 And no taste in lipstick! 336 00:21:09,967 --> 00:21:13,807 - What do I do, Zoltan? - You have two choices, Robin. 337 00:21:13,857 --> 00:21:16,967 You can kidnap a peasant and go to prison for a long time. 338 00:21:17,767 --> 00:21:21,807 Or you can disobey the Count and be sent away like poor Vlad. 339 00:21:21,857 --> 00:21:25,817 Poor, rejected, lonely Vlad... 340 00:21:25,867 --> 00:21:29,957 All right, Zoltan! Enough. I'm going to do the right thing. 341 00:21:30,757 --> 00:21:33,807 You're going to admit that you're not a vampire 342 00:21:33,857 --> 00:21:35,757 and let Vlad come home? 343 00:21:35,807 --> 00:21:40,727 No. I'm gonna play along and hope something turns up in time. 344 00:21:46,947 --> 00:21:49,797 Don't know what you're grinning about. 345 00:21:49,847 --> 00:21:50,907 (Knock at door) 346 00:21:52,927 --> 00:21:55,787 Mum wants to know if you're staying tonight. 347 00:21:55,837 --> 00:21:57,737 And the rest of my life. 348 00:21:57,787 --> 00:22:00,837 Vlad, I just know Ingrid faked that diary. 349 00:22:00,887 --> 00:22:04,817 - It wasn't her writing. - But was it your mum's? 350 00:22:04,867 --> 00:22:09,737 You know, I've never seen my mum's writing. 351 00:22:09,787 --> 00:22:13,857 - She was away all those years. - Well, she must have written once? 352 00:22:15,807 --> 00:22:17,907 Right! We're going up to the castle. 353 00:22:17,957 --> 00:22:20,937 There must be a letter from Magda somewhere. 354 00:22:21,737 --> 00:22:23,827 (Dramatic tune plays) 355 00:22:24,897 --> 00:22:26,727 Renfield! 356 00:22:30,937 --> 00:22:32,907 Well done, Robin! 357 00:22:32,957 --> 00:22:35,897 It's nice to see someone around here making an effort. 358 00:22:35,947 --> 00:22:39,747 All we need now is your victim, Master Robin. 359 00:22:43,807 --> 00:22:47,867 Give it up, Dad, they're out! Can we go home now? 360 00:22:47,917 --> 00:22:49,777 I suppose so. 361 00:22:52,847 --> 00:22:55,947 It was unlocked! Typical vampire arrogance! 362 00:22:56,747 --> 00:22:59,907 Or maybe they're just normal people who don't expect slayers to barge in with stakes. 363 00:22:59,957 --> 00:23:01,737 Maybe. 364 00:23:01,787 --> 00:23:03,897 Grab your stake and mallet and barge in! 365 00:23:03,947 --> 00:23:09,767 Dad, please, can we check they're vampires before we embarrass ourselves? 366 00:23:09,817 --> 00:23:12,747 What do you suggest? 367 00:23:12,797 --> 00:23:16,837 I'll go in first. If I see any vampires, I'll give you a shout. 368 00:23:16,887 --> 00:23:19,817 Your first solo slaying! 369 00:23:21,917 --> 00:23:23,847 I'm proud of you, son. 370 00:23:32,877 --> 00:23:34,897 I am so looking forward to this. 371 00:23:34,947 --> 00:23:38,887 - About me being your son... - Yes, you're doing very well. 372 00:23:38,937 --> 00:23:42,797 Now, this juicy peasant, will it be here soon? 373 00:23:42,847 --> 00:23:43,937 Um... 374 00:23:44,737 --> 00:23:45,967 - How about an aperitif? - Mmm. 375 00:23:53,737 --> 00:23:56,827 How many times do I have to say it? 376 00:23:56,877 --> 00:23:58,777 I hate 377 00:23:58,827 --> 00:24:00,807 this stuff. 378 00:24:05,777 --> 00:24:07,897 You are vampires! 379 00:24:07,947 --> 00:24:09,937 And you 380 00:24:10,737 --> 00:24:12,877 are dinner. 381 00:24:12,927 --> 00:24:15,887 No! Leave him alone! 382 00:24:15,937 --> 00:24:17,757 Aargh! 383 00:24:17,807 --> 00:24:19,777 Dad, help! Help! 384 00:24:22,917 --> 00:24:25,937 (Count growls) 385 00:24:26,737 --> 00:24:28,827 - Eh? - Cut! 386 00:24:28,877 --> 00:24:31,867 OK, people, that's a wrap! 387 00:24:32,917 --> 00:24:34,797 What's going on? 388 00:24:34,847 --> 00:24:38,867 Just our entry for You've Been Shamed. 389 00:24:38,917 --> 00:24:42,857 Yeah, we're making a vampire movie. 390 00:24:42,907 --> 00:24:45,867 - A comedy vampire movie. - What rubbish! 391 00:24:45,917 --> 00:24:48,877 Dad, look. They were making a movie. 392 00:24:50,727 --> 00:24:53,837 We'll be off then, too. Won't we, Dad? 393 00:24:53,887 --> 00:24:56,777 - Yes. - Ah, not so fast! 394 00:24:56,827 --> 00:24:58,767 Who are you, anyway? 395 00:24:58,817 --> 00:25:01,937 I'm Vlad's woodwork teacher. I, um, 396 00:25:02,737 --> 00:25:04,827 came to do a 397 00:25:04,877 --> 00:25:07,837 woodwork... inspection. 398 00:25:12,847 --> 00:25:15,897 Yes. Everything seems to be in order. 399 00:25:17,837 --> 00:25:18,917 Good day. 400 00:25:24,747 --> 00:25:25,877 (Door bangs shut) 401 00:25:25,927 --> 00:25:29,817 They're vampires, Jonathan, and one day I'll prove it. 402 00:25:29,867 --> 00:25:33,847 It's make-up! Did you see that guy playing the servant? 403 00:25:33,897 --> 00:25:35,837 Nobody's really that ugly. 404 00:25:35,887 --> 00:25:41,787 My dear boy! Your clever excuse saved me from that very small mob! 405 00:25:41,837 --> 00:25:43,757 Can I be your son again? 406 00:25:43,807 --> 00:25:45,957 If you love a boy like a son, he is your son. 407 00:25:46,757 --> 00:25:47,847 Thanks, Dad! 408 00:25:47,897 --> 00:25:51,737 Unfortunately, I only love Robin because he is my real son. 409 00:25:51,787 --> 00:25:52,957 Erm, actually, he isn't. 410 00:25:54,887 --> 00:25:57,877 What? But the diary. 411 00:25:57,927 --> 00:26:02,817 I faked it. It's been bugging me. I couldn't stop thinking about it. 412 00:26:02,867 --> 00:26:04,777 I knew you had a conscience! 413 00:26:04,827 --> 00:26:08,867 No. It's just that he was so glad to be a vampire. 414 00:26:08,917 --> 00:26:12,837 I couldn't stand the thought I'd made someone so... happy. 415 00:26:12,887 --> 00:26:14,817 Vladdy, my boy! 416 00:26:14,867 --> 00:26:16,847 You are my boy! 417 00:26:25,767 --> 00:26:28,737 So I'm not a vampire after all? But I was so sure. 418 00:26:28,787 --> 00:26:30,847 I know. You were selfish, 419 00:26:30,897 --> 00:26:33,857 you betrayed your friends and you were totally inhuman. 420 00:26:33,907 --> 00:26:34,917 You mean? 421 00:26:34,967 --> 00:26:38,727 Just because you aren't a vampire doesn't mean you can't be evil! 422 00:26:38,777 --> 00:26:40,927 You're my best mate. You know that, don't you? 423 00:26:41,727 --> 00:26:43,967 - Robin, I'm your only mate. - Exactly. 424 00:26:44,767 --> 00:26:49,917 So, after all our adventures, everything is back to normal. 425 00:26:49,967 --> 00:26:51,937 - Just like on TV! - Wait a minute. 426 00:26:52,737 --> 00:26:55,837 What about that DNA test? 427 00:26:58,827 --> 00:27:00,747 What can I say? 428 00:27:00,797 --> 00:27:02,747 I just don't like you. 429 00:27:07,787 --> 00:27:11,897 Such drama! Such timing! I'm a cinematic genius! 430 00:27:11,947 --> 00:27:15,757 I can't believe they actually showed it! 431 00:27:15,807 --> 00:27:18,787 Master, I think I've had enough now. 432 00:27:18,837 --> 00:27:21,727 Just one more zap, son? 433 00:27:21,777 --> 00:27:26,327 Repair and Synchronization by Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0 33259

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