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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:01,107 --> 00:00:02,356 Previously on "Wrecked"... 2 00:00:02,381 --> 00:00:03,865 Pack, you're a sports agent, right? 3 00:00:03,890 --> 00:00:05,200 Yeah. Very successful. 4 00:00:05,225 --> 00:00:06,622 - [Gasps] - I killed a Nazi. 5 00:00:06,647 --> 00:00:08,547 You killed a guy who happened to be a Nazi. 6 00:00:08,572 --> 00:00:10,115 - Same thing! - [Groaning] 7 00:00:10,140 --> 00:00:11,475 We're pirates, mother [bleep] 8 00:00:11,500 --> 00:00:13,169 - [Gunfire, screaming] - Danny Wallace? 9 00:00:13,194 --> 00:00:14,960 His family's worth billions! 10 00:00:14,985 --> 00:00:17,785 I am The Barracuda... and this is my island now. 11 00:00:17,810 --> 00:00:18,779 We'll call your father, 12 00:00:18,804 --> 00:00:20,169 and after he sends the money, 13 00:00:20,194 --> 00:00:21,506 we'll have you picked up here. 14 00:00:21,531 --> 00:00:23,905 I'm so sorry, but... my father's dead. 15 00:00:24,132 --> 00:00:25,331 Dad's dead?! 16 00:00:25,356 --> 00:00:26,467 There's been a setback. 17 00:00:26,492 --> 00:00:28,946 We're just going to have to learn to live together. 18 00:00:30,174 --> 00:00:32,008 19 00:00:32,033 --> 00:00:33,761 [Chatter] 20 00:00:43,099 --> 00:00:45,041 Hey, guys. I know that we're all 21 00:00:45,066 --> 00:00:48,133 feeling a little uneasy about the pirates, right? 22 00:00:48,158 --> 00:00:49,924 We don't know, you know, what they're doing 23 00:00:49,949 --> 00:00:51,767 or how long they plan to stay... 24 00:00:51,792 --> 00:00:53,189 Yeah! What are they doing!? 25 00:00:53,214 --> 00:00:54,580 And how long do they plan to stay!? 26 00:00:54,605 --> 00:00:57,408 Well, Chet, it's like I literally just said, 27 00:00:57,433 --> 00:00:58,665 we don't know... 28 00:00:58,690 --> 00:01:00,389 And how come they have so much gear? 29 00:01:00,414 --> 00:01:02,337 - Why? - And why do they have tarps?! 30 00:01:02,362 --> 00:01:04,988 I'm pretty sure that the tarps are just to cover things. 31 00:01:05,013 --> 00:01:07,286 I don't think we need to fear the tarps. 32 00:01:07,311 --> 00:01:09,525 If it were up to me, I'd say we steal those tarps, 33 00:01:09,550 --> 00:01:11,909 string 'em to some boards and boom... 34 00:01:11,934 --> 00:01:14,401 We kite surf right outta this shithole. 35 00:01:14,425 --> 00:01:16,139 - [Chatter] Todd's right. - We should do that. 36 00:01:16,164 --> 00:01:17,196 - Yeah! - Bruce: I've seen it on TV. 37 00:01:17,221 --> 00:01:18,425 We could try, at least. 38 00:01:18,450 --> 00:01:19,542 Okay. Hey, guys! 39 00:01:19,567 --> 00:01:21,600 Why don't we just think of the pirates 40 00:01:21,625 --> 00:01:24,203 as our new heavily-armed neighbors... 41 00:01:24,228 --> 00:01:27,003 If we leave them alone, they will leave us alone. 42 00:01:27,655 --> 00:01:29,034 Oh. 43 00:01:29,059 --> 00:01:30,692 We're taking your beach. 44 00:01:30,717 --> 00:01:32,751 Wh... Seriously? Where are we supposed to go? 45 00:01:32,784 --> 00:01:34,684 Oh, we'll want you close. 46 00:01:34,708 --> 00:01:36,198 You can live down there. 47 00:01:36,643 --> 00:01:38,748 - Down there? - Chet: That's a terrible place! 48 00:01:38,773 --> 00:01:40,602 - [Chatter] Where we all shit? - Burnt tires and stuff! 49 00:01:40,627 --> 00:01:42,275 That's, like, the worst part of the beach! 50 00:01:42,300 --> 00:01:44,346 It's covered in trash and broken glass... 51 00:01:44,371 --> 00:01:45,670 - And dead birds. - See? 52 00:01:45,695 --> 00:01:47,517 I didn't even know about the dead birds. 53 00:01:50,136 --> 00:01:51,732 Okay. Guys, new plan. 54 00:01:51,757 --> 00:01:53,457 Let's grab our stuff and move down the beach. 55 00:01:53,481 --> 00:01:56,282 - What do you think? - Oh, I hate grabbing my stuff! 56 00:01:56,307 --> 00:01:58,291 [Chatter] 57 00:01:58,316 --> 00:02:00,282 Are you happy? 58 00:02:00,307 --> 00:02:01,611 And I want your shirt. 59 00:02:01,636 --> 00:02:02,752 I'm sorry? 60 00:02:02,777 --> 00:02:04,276 Your shirt. 61 00:02:04,301 --> 00:02:06,743 Take it off and give it to me. 62 00:02:06,768 --> 00:02:07,916 Why does she want his shirt? 63 00:02:07,941 --> 00:02:09,017 [Chatter] She can have my shirt. 64 00:02:09,042 --> 00:02:10,510 Okay. All right. 65 00:02:10,535 --> 00:02:12,112 I know what you're doing. 66 00:02:12,136 --> 00:02:13,252 You're big-doggin' me. 67 00:02:13,277 --> 00:02:14,738 You're trying to show everybody 68 00:02:14,763 --> 00:02:16,385 you can make me do whatever you want. 69 00:02:16,410 --> 00:02:18,479 Okay, let me just explain something to you, 70 00:02:18,504 --> 00:02:20,229 uh, The Barracuda. 71 00:02:20,254 --> 00:02:21,774 I am putting my foot down. 72 00:02:21,799 --> 00:02:23,033 Okay, see this foot? 73 00:02:23,058 --> 00:02:24,658 - I am putting it down. - [Gun cocks] 74 00:02:24,683 --> 00:02:26,690 Yeah. I'll just take... I'll take it off now. 75 00:02:26,715 --> 00:02:28,748 - [Groans] - It's sweaty, so it's hard to come off. 76 00:02:28,783 --> 00:02:31,759 - Synced and corrected by martythecrazy - - www.addic7ed.com - 77 00:02:31,784 --> 00:02:34,220 78 00:02:34,871 --> 00:02:37,068 [Insects buzzing] 79 00:02:37,862 --> 00:02:39,361 Ow! Dammit! 80 00:02:39,386 --> 00:02:42,320 God, there's broken glass everywhere! 81 00:02:42,345 --> 00:02:44,498 Admittedly, this is a setback. 82 00:02:44,523 --> 00:02:46,689 But on the plus side, Bruce did let me 83 00:02:46,714 --> 00:02:48,723 borrow one of his shirts... 84 00:02:48,748 --> 00:02:49,947 Don't stretch that, now! 85 00:02:49,972 --> 00:02:51,071 [Sighs] 86 00:02:51,096 --> 00:02:52,629 At least it can't get any worse. 87 00:02:52,654 --> 00:02:55,593 [Squealing speakers] 88 00:02:55,618 --> 00:02:58,012 What the hell is that noise?! 89 00:02:58,330 --> 00:03:01,390 [Poison's "Nothin' But a Good Time" plays] 90 00:03:01,850 --> 00:03:03,516 [Distant chatter] 91 00:03:03,541 --> 00:03:05,519 God bless. 92 00:03:06,593 --> 00:03:08,059 They're partying. 93 00:03:08,084 --> 00:03:12,086 Don't need nothin' but a good time 94 00:03:12,111 --> 00:03:15,779 - How can I resist - Why would they bring a volleyball net? 95 00:03:15,804 --> 00:03:17,400 Ain't lookin' for nothin' but a good time 96 00:03:17,425 --> 00:03:19,877 I don't know, but Bandana gets up. 97 00:03:19,902 --> 00:03:21,830 And it don't get better than this 98 00:03:21,855 --> 00:03:23,421 This is insane! 99 00:03:23,446 --> 00:03:25,088 Why is it so loud? 100 00:03:25,113 --> 00:03:27,543 They're probably just blowing off steam. 101 00:03:27,568 --> 00:03:29,168 They can't party all day. 102 00:03:33,408 --> 00:03:34,840 What are they gonna do? 103 00:03:34,865 --> 00:03:36,467 Party all night? 104 00:03:41,053 --> 00:03:44,687 Oh, my God. They partied all day... 105 00:03:44,712 --> 00:03:47,277 and they partied all night. 106 00:03:47,302 --> 00:03:48,487 [Dance music plays] 107 00:03:48,512 --> 00:03:51,021 [Whimpering] Why is this happening to us? 108 00:03:51,046 --> 00:03:52,358 Are we... dead? 109 00:03:52,383 --> 00:03:53,993 [Crying] 110 00:03:54,018 --> 00:03:56,428 111 00:03:56,453 --> 00:03:58,774 [Insects buzzing] 112 00:03:59,067 --> 00:04:01,267 Dad, I know I wasn't able to 113 00:04:01,292 --> 00:04:03,077 be home for your funeral, but... 114 00:04:03,102 --> 00:04:04,746 Oh! Who wrote that? 115 00:04:04,771 --> 00:04:06,338 "Dick" Wallace! 116 00:04:06,363 --> 00:04:07,635 I don't think you're a dick. 117 00:04:07,660 --> 00:04:09,165 Some people do, but not Steve! 118 00:04:09,190 --> 00:04:12,204 No! Steve, it's not for me, it's for my dad! 119 00:04:12,229 --> 00:04:14,137 Oh. Yeahhh, [bleep] him. 120 00:04:14,162 --> 00:04:15,261 He is a dick... 121 00:04:15,286 --> 00:04:16,318 No, I built it! 122 00:04:16,364 --> 00:04:17,712 It's for... I was... 123 00:04:17,737 --> 00:04:20,171 Wait a minute... People think I'm a dick? 124 00:04:20,196 --> 00:04:21,695 Who thinks I'm a dick? 125 00:04:21,720 --> 00:04:23,052 Oh, just, you know, some people 126 00:04:23,077 --> 00:04:24,409 because if your parents loved you more, 127 00:04:24,434 --> 00:04:26,000 we'd be going home right now. 128 00:04:26,585 --> 00:04:28,861 Hey, hey. I didn't... 129 00:04:28,886 --> 00:04:30,452 I mean, that's the truth, but I... 130 00:04:30,477 --> 00:04:32,284 Look, both of us have done things we regret. 131 00:04:32,309 --> 00:04:34,369 You bringing the pirates to the island, 132 00:04:34,394 --> 00:04:36,752 me not killing that Nazi sooner... 133 00:04:37,014 --> 00:04:39,220 You murdered someone, Steve. It's not the same. 134 00:04:39,245 --> 00:04:40,689 - Oh, it's pretty similar. - No. 135 00:04:40,714 --> 00:04:42,966 Anyway, the others... They hate us for it. 136 00:04:42,991 --> 00:04:44,469 You can feel the jealousy. 137 00:04:44,494 --> 00:04:46,113 I think you and I should team up. 138 00:04:46,138 --> 00:04:48,308 What about this... We get off the island 139 00:04:48,333 --> 00:04:50,499 and go into business together! 140 00:04:50,747 --> 00:04:51,946 We make a billion dollars 141 00:04:51,971 --> 00:04:53,770 and we shove it in their fat faces! 142 00:04:53,795 --> 00:04:55,962 I mean, with my brains, and your money... 143 00:04:55,987 --> 00:04:57,920 Put it this way, I've got a lot of good ideas! 144 00:04:57,945 --> 00:04:59,267 Are you about to "Shark Tank" me? 145 00:04:59,292 --> 00:05:00,873 Please don't "Shark Tank" me at my father's grave... 146 00:05:00,898 --> 00:05:03,432 I don't know what that means, but picture this. 147 00:05:03,457 --> 00:05:05,082 Oh, Jesus. I'm a man. 148 00:05:05,107 --> 00:05:07,040 I've been hard-working all day. 149 00:05:07,065 --> 00:05:09,532 I've just got home. What do I need? 150 00:05:09,557 --> 00:05:12,769 A big bowl of steamy, creamy risotto. 151 00:05:12,794 --> 00:05:14,727 But who's got time for all that stirring?! 152 00:05:14,752 --> 00:05:16,585 Oh, kids will be home soon. 153 00:05:16,610 --> 00:05:19,411 I give you "RisoGurt." 154 00:05:19,436 --> 00:05:21,864 It's like Go-GURT... but for risotto! 155 00:05:23,418 --> 00:05:26,932 You think people want hot, portable risotto? 156 00:05:26,957 --> 00:05:29,027 - Also, is there yogurt in it? - Of course not! 157 00:05:29,052 --> 00:05:31,753 It's one-hundred percent steamy, creamy risotto. 158 00:05:31,778 --> 00:05:34,084 Then why is it called "RisoGurt?" 159 00:05:37,880 --> 00:05:39,412 I've got other ideas... 160 00:05:39,437 --> 00:05:40,808 I'm gonna walk away now. 161 00:05:40,833 --> 00:05:42,432 Well, mull it over! 162 00:05:42,457 --> 00:05:44,027 We'll crack it, you know! 163 00:05:44,052 --> 00:05:48,187 [Dance music playing] 164 00:05:48,278 --> 00:05:50,635 This is ridiculous! They're using our shelters! 165 00:05:50,660 --> 00:05:53,519 - They're eating our hot dogs! - They're not our hot dogs. 166 00:05:53,544 --> 00:05:56,097 They're on our island. They're our hot dogs. 167 00:05:56,122 --> 00:05:58,055 We rule this realm! 168 00:05:58,080 --> 00:05:59,813 Hi. 169 00:05:59,838 --> 00:06:01,201 - [Blows raspberry] - Hi! 170 00:06:01,226 --> 00:06:02,535 What? 171 00:06:02,560 --> 00:06:04,338 [Smooches, blows raspberry] 172 00:06:04,363 --> 00:06:05,562 Guys, I'm worried about Florence. 173 00:06:05,587 --> 00:06:06,746 I think that the lack of sleep's 174 00:06:06,771 --> 00:06:08,975 - starting to get to her. - What's happening? 175 00:06:09,000 --> 00:06:10,027 That's it! 176 00:06:10,552 --> 00:06:12,380 I'm getting this shit turned down! 177 00:06:12,405 --> 00:06:13,676 What? How? 178 00:06:13,701 --> 00:06:16,020 Uh, I'm an agent, remember? 179 00:06:16,044 --> 00:06:17,252 I'll negotiate. 180 00:06:17,277 --> 00:06:18,753 Uh, they have guns. 181 00:06:18,877 --> 00:06:21,529 And I've got the magic mouthpiece, baby! 182 00:06:21,554 --> 00:06:22,504 Trust me. 183 00:06:22,529 --> 00:06:24,229 I was trained by the best. 184 00:06:24,254 --> 00:06:27,845 Does the name Greta Liebowitz mean anything to you guys? 185 00:06:30,677 --> 00:06:31,943 Seriously? 186 00:06:31,968 --> 00:06:33,870 "Game On" Greta? 187 00:06:34,472 --> 00:06:36,971 Oh, crack the trades, you guys! 188 00:06:36,996 --> 00:06:38,262 Greta Liebowitz is the single 189 00:06:38,298 --> 00:06:40,198 greatest sports agent of all time. 190 00:06:40,233 --> 00:06:44,236 No, I'm not mad. I'm furious! 191 00:06:47,107 --> 00:06:49,160 She taught me everything I know... 192 00:06:49,185 --> 00:06:51,011 Let me work my magic. 193 00:06:51,036 --> 00:06:53,769 I'll have 'em eating right out of my asshole. 194 00:06:55,890 --> 00:06:58,627 I don't think that's the phrase at all. 195 00:07:00,472 --> 00:07:03,027 Money, money, money, money, money 196 00:07:03,052 --> 00:07:04,633 What's up, bros? 197 00:07:06,422 --> 00:07:08,256 Oh, hell yeah! 198 00:07:08,281 --> 00:07:09,777 You know, I love music. 199 00:07:09,802 --> 00:07:11,067 - [Music turns off] - What do you want? 200 00:07:11,092 --> 00:07:12,129 I just wanted to come by 201 00:07:12,154 --> 00:07:13,253 and say whattup, you know. 202 00:07:13,278 --> 00:07:14,878 I am loving these jams. 203 00:07:14,903 --> 00:07:16,102 I'm back there like, 204 00:07:16,127 --> 00:07:17,353 "I should be chin deep 205 00:07:17,378 --> 00:07:19,345 in some strip club titties." 206 00:07:19,370 --> 00:07:20,671 You guys know what I'm talking about, playboys? 207 00:07:20,696 --> 00:07:22,263 No. 208 00:07:22,291 --> 00:07:23,390 O-Kay. 209 00:07:23,415 --> 00:07:25,414 I just wanted to see if you guys 210 00:07:25,439 --> 00:07:28,073 could just keep the vols on your speaks 211 00:07:28,179 --> 00:07:30,238 down where they are now. 212 00:07:30,270 --> 00:07:32,339 You know, not for me, you know, I love it, you know? 213 00:07:32,364 --> 00:07:33,754 It's like pump, pump, pump it up! 214 00:07:33,779 --> 00:07:35,252 It's more so for my friends, you know, 215 00:07:35,277 --> 00:07:36,885 they're just a bunch of narcs and pussies... 216 00:07:36,910 --> 00:07:39,835 Not gonna happen. My men deserve some R&R. 217 00:07:40,158 --> 00:07:41,857 Also, I don't like you. 218 00:07:43,720 --> 00:07:46,008 But I do like your watch. 219 00:07:46,941 --> 00:07:47,973 This? 220 00:07:47,998 --> 00:07:49,330 This is nothing, really. 221 00:07:49,355 --> 00:07:50,988 - It's not even... - I'll take it. 222 00:07:51,159 --> 00:07:53,152 Along with the rest of your stuff. 223 00:07:53,177 --> 00:07:55,027 - What?! - Go bring their luggage. 224 00:07:55,052 --> 00:07:56,977 All of it. 225 00:07:57,272 --> 00:07:58,672 It's mine now. 226 00:07:58,698 --> 00:08:01,232 227 00:08:07,324 --> 00:08:10,825 Nice work, Pack. You somehow made things worse. 228 00:08:10,850 --> 00:08:11,722 [Spits] 229 00:08:11,747 --> 00:08:12,946 I don't want to sound dramatic, 230 00:08:12,971 --> 00:08:14,759 but if I don't have my dry shampoo 231 00:08:14,784 --> 00:08:16,956 I will light these [bleep] pirates on fire! 232 00:08:16,981 --> 00:08:18,331 - Okay? - Okay. Okay, baby. 233 00:08:18,356 --> 00:08:19,394 It's gonna be all right, all right? 234 00:08:19,419 --> 00:08:20,981 The important things are safe. 235 00:08:21,006 --> 00:08:23,103 I hid my golf clubs in the jungle. 236 00:08:23,128 --> 00:08:24,098 [Laughs] 237 00:08:24,122 --> 00:08:26,022 Todd is always one step ahead! 238 00:08:26,063 --> 00:08:27,959 Pack, I should warn you... 239 00:08:27,984 --> 00:08:30,851 Sleep deprivation makes me sexually aggressive. 240 00:08:30,876 --> 00:08:33,638 And I will be taking it out on you. 241 00:08:35,673 --> 00:08:37,506 Oh, my God. 242 00:08:37,673 --> 00:08:40,035 Guys, I'm sorry, okay!? I don't know what happened. 243 00:08:40,060 --> 00:08:41,960 I thought you were gonna go "work your magic"? 244 00:08:41,985 --> 00:08:44,464 I did! It didn't work at all. 245 00:08:44,489 --> 00:08:45,621 I need something else. 246 00:08:45,646 --> 00:08:46,678 I need... 247 00:08:46,703 --> 00:08:49,405 an ass in a hat. 248 00:08:50,604 --> 00:08:52,971 What? Oh, God. I am so tired. 249 00:08:52,996 --> 00:08:54,095 What's the phrase? 250 00:08:54,120 --> 00:08:55,219 Ace in the hole? 251 00:08:55,244 --> 00:08:56,948 Ace in the hole! 252 00:08:56,973 --> 00:08:58,540 What's in the box? 253 00:08:58,565 --> 00:09:00,933 - Our ace in the hole. - Nice. 254 00:09:00,958 --> 00:09:01,722 Here. 255 00:09:02,198 --> 00:09:03,664 Put these on. 256 00:09:03,689 --> 00:09:05,746 - I don't wear glasses. - You do now. 257 00:09:05,771 --> 00:09:07,811 Your face looks dumb without them. 258 00:09:07,836 --> 00:09:09,761 - Open. - Oh, yeah. 259 00:09:13,964 --> 00:09:15,369 There he is. 260 00:09:15,413 --> 00:09:16,957 Game on. 261 00:09:16,982 --> 00:09:20,918 Oh, my gosh! It's my man Chris Bosh! 262 00:09:20,942 --> 00:09:22,326 Greta, what's up? 263 00:09:22,351 --> 00:09:23,816 This is my main man, Pack. 264 00:09:23,841 --> 00:09:24,691 Sit. 265 00:09:24,716 --> 00:09:26,316 He's gonna run this town someday. 266 00:09:26,341 --> 00:09:28,188 Pshhh, ain't no thang but a G-strang. 267 00:09:28,213 --> 00:09:30,513 Welcome to the butt cracks of the business. 268 00:09:30,538 --> 00:09:32,037 You know all about that, don't you, big dog? 269 00:09:32,062 --> 00:09:33,698 Hit me. 270 00:09:33,981 --> 00:09:35,080 Anyway, listen. 271 00:09:35,105 --> 00:09:36,304 I don't have a lot of time. 272 00:09:36,329 --> 00:09:37,668 Me, LeBron, and Dwyane... 273 00:09:37,693 --> 00:09:39,472 We got laser tag right after this, so... 274 00:09:39,558 --> 00:09:40,894 Pack? 275 00:09:41,076 --> 00:09:43,205 Baby boy, let me talk to you for a minute. 276 00:09:43,230 --> 00:09:44,462 You got money. 277 00:09:44,498 --> 00:09:45,913 I got money. 278 00:09:45,938 --> 00:09:47,916 But this isn't about money. 279 00:09:47,941 --> 00:09:49,473 It's about you. 280 00:09:49,506 --> 00:09:51,253 You need reps that understand 281 00:09:51,278 --> 00:09:53,078 the entirety of Chris Bosh. 282 00:09:53,103 --> 00:09:54,269 How you think. How you feel. 283 00:09:54,294 --> 00:09:55,928 How you eat. How you [bleep] 284 00:09:55,953 --> 00:09:57,153 What? 285 00:09:57,178 --> 00:09:58,595 That's too much. Was that too much? 286 00:09:58,620 --> 00:10:01,188 Bosh-y, when I see you on the basketball court, 287 00:10:01,215 --> 00:10:03,458 I do not see a basketball star. 288 00:10:03,483 --> 00:10:05,839 I see... a basketball samurai. 289 00:10:05,865 --> 00:10:07,733 Like a samurai warrior? 290 00:10:07,758 --> 00:10:09,443 Because I love samurai shit. 291 00:10:09,468 --> 00:10:12,668 And Pack, what does every samurai need? 292 00:10:12,693 --> 00:10:14,492 Throwing stars! 293 00:10:14,528 --> 00:10:16,783 Nope. I'm talking about what's in the box. 294 00:10:16,808 --> 00:10:18,136 Nunchucks! 295 00:10:18,161 --> 00:10:20,550 No. What does a samurai use? 296 00:10:20,575 --> 00:10:21,535 A sword? 297 00:10:21,560 --> 00:10:23,290 Exactly. 298 00:10:25,065 --> 00:10:26,627 Whoa! 299 00:10:28,487 --> 00:10:29,586 Can I keep it? 300 00:10:29,621 --> 00:10:30,653 I insist. 301 00:10:30,689 --> 00:10:32,214 It's a real Massamune. 302 00:10:32,240 --> 00:10:36,209 It's the best in the world. Just like you! 303 00:10:36,234 --> 00:10:38,501 [Whispering] It's fake. I bought it on eBay. Nice. 304 00:10:38,526 --> 00:10:42,224 LeBron and Dwyane and are gonna shit! 305 00:10:43,842 --> 00:10:47,314 I gotta find a samurai sword. 306 00:10:47,958 --> 00:10:49,768 What? 307 00:10:53,120 --> 00:10:54,635 - Got another idea! - Ah! 308 00:10:54,660 --> 00:10:56,760 Steve! My wiener is out, man! 309 00:10:56,796 --> 00:10:59,293 What are two things every modern woman loves? 310 00:10:59,318 --> 00:11:00,717 Exercising... 311 00:11:00,742 --> 00:11:02,475 and heavy desserts! 312 00:11:02,500 --> 00:11:05,635 Introducing "Pie-lates!" 313 00:11:05,660 --> 00:11:08,127 You want women to eat a bunch of pie 314 00:11:08,152 --> 00:11:10,252 before immediately doing Pilates? 315 00:11:10,277 --> 00:11:12,144 Exactly. Making money on both ends! 316 00:11:12,169 --> 00:11:15,596 Steve, I don't want to be business partners with you. 317 00:11:16,049 --> 00:11:19,012 That's just because we haven't come up with the right idea! 318 00:11:20,620 --> 00:11:22,486 Danny, I've got it! 319 00:11:22,522 --> 00:11:23,621 "Hammer-In-An-Hour!" 320 00:11:23,656 --> 00:11:25,189 We get any hammer, anywhere, 321 00:11:25,225 --> 00:11:27,217 - in one hour flat. - Why a hammer? 322 00:11:27,242 --> 00:11:29,142 And why an hour? 323 00:11:29,167 --> 00:11:30,667 "Euth-an-easy." 324 00:11:30,692 --> 00:11:32,774 Euthanasia, made easy... 325 00:11:32,799 --> 00:11:35,897 Oh, my God. Steve. These are all very bad ideas. 326 00:11:35,922 --> 00:11:38,956 We could combine "Euth-an-easy" with "Hammer-In-An-Hour." 327 00:11:38,981 --> 00:11:40,948 Get... Stop talking to me! 328 00:11:40,973 --> 00:11:43,607 [Dance music blares] 329 00:11:43,632 --> 00:11:46,037 Hey, everyone! 330 00:11:46,062 --> 00:11:49,405 I have bad news, and I'm told I have poor bedside manners, 331 00:11:49,430 --> 00:11:51,797 so I only want to shout this at you idiots once... 332 00:11:51,822 --> 00:11:54,829 This god-awful music is scaring away the boars. 333 00:11:54,854 --> 00:11:55,853 What? 334 00:11:55,878 --> 00:11:58,589 Yes! No more boars! 335 00:11:58,625 --> 00:11:59,790 No, Chet, that's bad. 336 00:11:59,815 --> 00:12:01,561 We eat the boars. 337 00:12:01,586 --> 00:12:02,737 Holy shit. 338 00:12:02,762 --> 00:12:04,662 If we don't convince the pirates 339 00:12:04,697 --> 00:12:08,733 to turn down the music, everyone but Pack will starve. 340 00:12:08,768 --> 00:12:10,668 Wait. Why won't I starve? 341 00:12:10,703 --> 00:12:11,902 I already told you... 342 00:12:11,938 --> 00:12:13,316 I'm gonna [bleep] you to death. 343 00:12:13,341 --> 00:12:15,607 - Guh. - Enough! 344 00:12:17,149 --> 00:12:21,322 Back in the real world, if your neighbor makes your life suck, 345 00:12:21,347 --> 00:12:24,915 you either call the cops, which is the coward's way, or... 346 00:12:24,951 --> 00:12:28,185 You grab a golf club, maybe a 3- or a 4-iron, 347 00:12:28,221 --> 00:12:29,687 possibly a low wood, 348 00:12:29,722 --> 00:12:32,556 and you smash every window 349 00:12:32,592 --> 00:12:35,213 on their precious cherry red Land Rover! 350 00:12:35,238 --> 00:12:37,264 I called dibs on that color. 351 00:12:37,289 --> 00:12:39,322 I called dibs on red! 352 00:12:39,347 --> 00:12:40,389 Let's fight! 353 00:12:40,414 --> 00:12:42,948 [Cheering] 354 00:12:42,973 --> 00:12:47,428 Hey, guys, if we fight them, we will be killed. 355 00:12:47,453 --> 00:12:50,373 At least we'll go down swingin', baby! 356 00:12:50,398 --> 00:12:52,999 [Cheering] 357 00:12:56,444 --> 00:12:59,345 Smash! [Laughs] 358 00:12:59,370 --> 00:13:01,270 Yeah. 359 00:13:03,205 --> 00:13:05,504 Wait! No one has to die! 360 00:13:05,529 --> 00:13:07,362 I got this. 361 00:13:08,828 --> 00:13:12,026 Man, you took the wind right outta my sail! 362 00:13:12,051 --> 00:13:17,087 [Drum and bass music blaring] 363 00:13:17,122 --> 00:13:18,180 [Music turns off] 364 00:13:18,205 --> 00:13:19,505 What are you doing back here? 365 00:13:19,530 --> 00:13:22,197 I feel like we got off on the wrong foot. 366 00:13:22,222 --> 00:13:27,458 So I brought you guys some... 367 00:13:27,515 --> 00:13:28,676 golf clubs! 368 00:13:28,701 --> 00:13:29,973 And why would we give a shit 369 00:13:29,998 --> 00:13:31,379 about some clubs? 370 00:13:31,404 --> 00:13:33,206 Because these are 371 00:13:33,231 --> 00:13:35,799 the most valuable things on the island. 372 00:13:35,824 --> 00:13:38,425 These clubs were once used by 373 00:13:38,450 --> 00:13:42,183 17-time Masters champion and noted sex addict... 374 00:13:42,208 --> 00:13:44,274 Tiger Woods! 375 00:13:47,851 --> 00:13:48,950 I love Tiger! 376 00:13:48,975 --> 00:13:50,107 Oh, shit. 377 00:13:50,132 --> 00:13:51,234 Tiger's the best, man. 378 00:13:51,259 --> 00:13:53,195 I'd have shot his ass if said Ernie Els. 379 00:13:53,482 --> 00:13:55,382 Game on. 380 00:13:59,452 --> 00:14:01,216 Ooh! Let it fly. 381 00:14:01,241 --> 00:14:02,607 What is this, Pebble Beach? 382 00:14:02,642 --> 00:14:04,208 [Laughs] 383 00:14:04,244 --> 00:14:05,510 So good. 384 00:14:05,545 --> 00:14:07,245 You mind if I grab one of these cold ones? 385 00:14:07,280 --> 00:14:08,446 Thanks, bud. 386 00:14:08,481 --> 00:14:10,014 - So, here's the sitch... - [Bottle opens] 387 00:14:10,049 --> 00:14:12,301 you guys are on the island, we're on the island... 388 00:14:12,326 --> 00:14:13,928 I'd like us all to be friends. 389 00:14:13,953 --> 00:14:16,706 Trust me. You get these genuine Tigey clubs 390 00:14:16,731 --> 00:14:18,464 out on the black market? 391 00:14:18,501 --> 00:14:20,254 I mean, move over, Jack Sparrow! 392 00:14:20,279 --> 00:14:22,312 Disney's gonna start making movies about you guys. 393 00:14:22,337 --> 00:14:25,304 You're the captains now! When exactly did Tiger use these clubs? 394 00:14:25,329 --> 00:14:26,995 Oh, just on this little course, 395 00:14:27,020 --> 00:14:29,067 I don't know if you've ever heard of it... Augusta! 396 00:14:29,092 --> 00:14:31,026 Whoa! That's where they play The Masters. Are you kidding me? 397 00:14:31,051 --> 00:14:32,573 It's a tradition unlike any other. 398 00:14:32,598 --> 00:14:33,814 And why do you have them? 399 00:14:33,849 --> 00:14:36,183 Because Tigey's a close personal friend, baby! 400 00:14:36,218 --> 00:14:37,496 What? I'm a sports agent. 401 00:14:37,521 --> 00:14:38,692 I know all the greats. 402 00:14:38,717 --> 00:14:41,565 Aaron Rodgers, Serena Williams, Chris Bosh... 403 00:14:41,590 --> 00:14:42,887 You're Chris Bosh's agent? 404 00:14:42,912 --> 00:14:46,013 Hell yeah! Me and Bosh-dog are hella tight! 405 00:14:46,038 --> 00:14:48,051 No, you're not. 406 00:14:48,076 --> 00:14:52,137 What? Chris Bosh's agent is Greta Liebowitz. 407 00:14:52,412 --> 00:14:54,135 You guys know "Game On" Greta? 408 00:14:54,160 --> 00:14:55,177 You're pirates! 409 00:14:55,202 --> 00:14:56,635 - And what? - Whoa. 410 00:14:56,660 --> 00:14:58,493 Pirates can't watch sports? 411 00:14:58,518 --> 00:14:59,717 We can't have hobbies? 412 00:14:59,742 --> 00:15:01,545 Don't stereotype us, bitch! 413 00:15:01,570 --> 00:15:04,786 Also, bad news, it was a huge story, bro. 414 00:15:04,811 --> 00:15:06,701 It was all over ESPN for weeks. 415 00:15:06,726 --> 00:15:07,825 What story? 416 00:15:07,850 --> 00:15:09,028 Oh! 417 00:15:09,053 --> 00:15:10,287 He doesn't know! 418 00:15:10,312 --> 00:15:12,012 - [Laughs] - Yo, my man. 419 00:15:12,037 --> 00:15:14,671 Chris Bosh slit his own throat with a samurai sword. 420 00:15:14,696 --> 00:15:16,119 He "Kill Bill'd" himself. 421 00:15:16,144 --> 00:15:18,014 Whaaaaat?! 422 00:15:18,850 --> 00:15:21,250 423 00:15:34,200 --> 00:15:38,002 [Slice, thud] 424 00:15:38,027 --> 00:15:39,898 Bosh! 425 00:15:39,923 --> 00:15:41,465 [Gasping] Samurai. 426 00:15:41,490 --> 00:15:43,606 Bandana: But that samurai sword was fake, 427 00:15:43,631 --> 00:15:45,598 so they put that lying bitch in prison for fraud. 428 00:15:45,623 --> 00:15:49,115 Greta Liebowitz is doing deals in jail. 429 00:15:49,526 --> 00:15:50,700 Hey, cop. 430 00:15:50,725 --> 00:15:52,434 Oh. Hey, buddy. 431 00:15:52,459 --> 00:15:55,622 Man. Sure hope Pack can pull this off, huh? 432 00:15:55,936 --> 00:15:57,535 Yeah. Me too. 433 00:15:57,560 --> 00:16:00,351 It's a real shame he doesn't have the "Limitless" pill. 434 00:16:00,376 --> 00:16:01,308 Hmm. 435 00:16:01,672 --> 00:16:02,804 What? 436 00:16:02,840 --> 00:16:05,213 The pill from that movie, "Limitless" 437 00:16:05,245 --> 00:16:06,941 starring Bradley Cooper, where 438 00:16:06,966 --> 00:16:09,733 I think he takes a pill and gets all smart and junk? 439 00:16:09,886 --> 00:16:12,710 God, wouldn't it just be so cool if, like, 440 00:16:12,746 --> 00:16:15,224 that pill existed... in real life? 441 00:16:15,621 --> 00:16:17,081 Yeah, I guess it would be pretty cool. 442 00:16:17,117 --> 00:16:17,925 Aha! Ah! 443 00:16:17,950 --> 00:16:19,133 - I knew it! - Jesus! 444 00:16:19,158 --> 00:16:20,387 That was my idea! 445 00:16:20,412 --> 00:16:22,809 What, you think Chet came up with the pill from "Limitless"?! 446 00:16:22,834 --> 00:16:25,098 [Laughs] No way. It was me! 447 00:16:25,123 --> 00:16:27,590 - And you said it was cool! - I said it was pretty cool. 448 00:16:27,615 --> 00:16:28,716 You didn't wanna team up with me 449 00:16:28,741 --> 00:16:29,676 because I'm an idiot! 450 00:16:29,701 --> 00:16:32,235 But you like my ideas, and Chet just proved it! 451 00:16:32,260 --> 00:16:33,994 Yeah, I did. Thanks! 452 00:16:34,184 --> 00:16:36,941 - So now we can be partners! - We will never be partners. 453 00:16:36,966 --> 00:16:38,535 And it's not because you're an idiot, 454 00:16:38,560 --> 00:16:40,395 it's because you're a murderer! 455 00:16:42,293 --> 00:16:43,892 Oh, yeah? 456 00:16:43,917 --> 00:16:46,184 Well, you'd know, 'cause you're a murderer, too, Danny. 457 00:16:46,209 --> 00:16:48,776 Because you murdered all of us! 458 00:16:52,127 --> 00:16:54,194 Do you think it's my fault that we're all stuck here? 459 00:16:54,229 --> 00:16:55,595 I don't really know, man. 460 00:16:55,620 --> 00:16:57,501 I haven't really thought about it like that. 461 00:16:57,525 --> 00:16:58,822 But yeah, I guess so! 462 00:16:58,847 --> 00:17:00,680 [Laughing] Yeah! 463 00:17:00,705 --> 00:17:02,372 That sucks. 464 00:17:02,397 --> 00:17:03,845 That sucks! 465 00:17:03,870 --> 00:17:06,282 Later, Danny. 466 00:17:10,286 --> 00:17:12,767 She taught me everything I know... 467 00:17:12,792 --> 00:17:14,358 She taught you to lie. 468 00:17:14,383 --> 00:17:16,814 Wait. Wait. These aren't Tiger Woods' golf clubs? 469 00:17:16,839 --> 00:17:18,472 What are you, some sort of a sociopath? 470 00:17:18,497 --> 00:17:20,136 Do you know what pirates do to liars? 471 00:17:20,161 --> 00:17:22,447 I-I could guess, but I don't want to stereotype... 472 00:17:22,472 --> 00:17:23,538 Capris! 473 00:17:23,563 --> 00:17:24,862 Show him. 474 00:17:25,127 --> 00:17:28,328 Oh, my God! You cut his tongue out! 475 00:17:28,353 --> 00:17:30,987 That's way worse than what I was gonna guess! 476 00:17:31,022 --> 00:17:32,802 Anything you want to say 477 00:17:32,827 --> 00:17:35,263 before you never speak again? 478 00:17:36,898 --> 00:17:38,521 Yeah. 479 00:17:40,757 --> 00:17:43,095 Okay. Here's the truth. 480 00:17:43,120 --> 00:17:45,681 We outnumber you five-to-one. 481 00:17:45,706 --> 00:17:47,773 We thought if we left you alone, you'd leave us alone. 482 00:17:47,798 --> 00:17:49,464 But you didn't want to play it like that. 483 00:17:49,489 --> 00:17:51,282 So if you don't want an uprising on your hands, 484 00:17:51,307 --> 00:17:53,948 learn to share the island. 485 00:17:58,570 --> 00:18:00,268 We'll turn the music down. 486 00:18:00,293 --> 00:18:01,658 We also want our stuff back. 487 00:18:01,683 --> 00:18:03,446 - I can't do that. - And I can't go back 488 00:18:03,471 --> 00:18:05,342 to my people empty-handed again. 489 00:18:06,110 --> 00:18:08,677 What do you propose? 490 00:18:20,053 --> 00:18:21,185 How you doing? 491 00:18:21,221 --> 00:18:22,687 You shouldn't be seen with me. 492 00:18:22,722 --> 00:18:24,222 I don't want people to hate you, too. 493 00:18:24,257 --> 00:18:25,790 What are you talking about? 494 00:18:25,825 --> 00:18:26,943 It's my fault we're stuck here 495 00:18:26,968 --> 00:18:29,846 with the dead birds and pirates... 496 00:18:29,871 --> 00:18:31,504 See that boat? 497 00:18:31,529 --> 00:18:33,174 That's our way off this island. 498 00:18:33,199 --> 00:18:34,932 I don't know how. I don't know when. 499 00:18:34,968 --> 00:18:38,506 But as long as that boat is here, we have hope. 500 00:18:38,531 --> 00:18:40,564 It's because of you. 501 00:18:40,589 --> 00:18:42,723 - I guess you're right. - Yeah. 502 00:18:42,748 --> 00:18:45,662 - Man, I gotta stop talking to Steve. - Talking to Steve? 503 00:18:45,687 --> 00:18:48,188 Uh, yeah, you should stop talking to Steve. 504 00:18:48,213 --> 00:18:49,568 That guy is the worst. 505 00:18:49,593 --> 00:18:52,060 Even before he killed Turdhole. 506 00:18:52,085 --> 00:18:54,434 I mean, Steve wears socks with Tevas. 507 00:18:54,459 --> 00:18:55,820 He should go to jail for that. 508 00:18:55,855 --> 00:18:57,555 That's should be, like, 15 to life. 509 00:18:57,590 --> 00:18:59,145 Steve always has a mustache. 510 00:18:59,170 --> 00:19:00,992 I've never seen him shave. What is that about? 511 00:19:01,027 --> 00:19:02,260 Where's he get all the stuff? 512 00:19:02,295 --> 00:19:03,594 Nobody else has the stuff. 513 00:19:03,630 --> 00:19:05,596 Everybody else looks like me or you. 514 00:19:05,632 --> 00:19:07,765 He's always got a perfect mustache. 515 00:19:07,800 --> 00:19:09,700 That's weird. Steve is weird. 516 00:19:09,736 --> 00:19:10,935 Something's not right with that guy, 517 00:19:10,970 --> 00:19:12,803 and it's not just the socks and the Tevas, 518 00:19:12,839 --> 00:19:15,571 it's not the murder, it's the accent... 519 00:19:20,325 --> 00:19:22,136 Oh, hi, Danny. 520 00:19:22,746 --> 00:19:25,056 I owe you an apology. 521 00:19:25,143 --> 00:19:28,150 I know how it feels to be falsely called a murderer. 522 00:19:30,444 --> 00:19:31,789 Anyway. 523 00:19:31,824 --> 00:19:33,491 I'm... sorry. 524 00:19:33,526 --> 00:19:36,560 I'll let you be alone with your dad. 525 00:19:36,596 --> 00:19:38,262 You know my dad... 526 00:19:38,298 --> 00:19:41,599 he thought I was a big, fat idiot. 527 00:19:41,634 --> 00:19:43,200 Now matter what I did. 528 00:19:43,236 --> 00:19:47,278 So I guess as a way to give him a big "F-U," 529 00:19:47,674 --> 00:19:49,315 if we get off this island, 530 00:19:49,340 --> 00:19:52,254 I'd be happy to invest in "RisoGurt." 531 00:19:52,578 --> 00:19:53,844 Really?! 532 00:19:53,880 --> 00:19:54,903 Yeah. 533 00:19:54,928 --> 00:19:56,347 Oh, wow! 534 00:19:56,372 --> 00:19:58,144 I was thinking we could change the name. 535 00:19:58,169 --> 00:20:00,084 - Maybe "Ris-o-Go"... - No. 536 00:20:00,119 --> 00:20:01,784 Go? Go where? 537 00:20:01,809 --> 00:20:03,587 Well, you're taking it on the go. 538 00:20:03,623 --> 00:20:04,789 Nah, it's stupid. 539 00:20:04,824 --> 00:20:05,956 No deal. 540 00:20:05,992 --> 00:20:07,958 No, it's "RisoGurt," or I'm out. 541 00:20:07,983 --> 00:20:09,536 Uh, okay. Fine. Whatever. 542 00:20:09,561 --> 00:20:10,727 "RisoGurt" it is. 543 00:20:10,752 --> 00:20:12,173 [Laughing] Oh. 544 00:20:12,198 --> 00:20:14,065 Yeah! Oh! Okay, okay. 545 00:20:14,100 --> 00:20:15,533 Oh, there it is. 546 00:20:15,568 --> 00:20:16,901 Partners! 547 00:20:16,926 --> 00:20:18,700 The Gurt Brothers! 548 00:20:23,930 --> 00:20:26,913 It's Pack! 549 00:20:28,781 --> 00:20:30,181 Pack's coming back! 550 00:20:30,216 --> 00:20:32,717 Everybody, Pack's back! 551 00:20:32,752 --> 00:20:35,328 And he brought buckets of brews! 552 00:20:36,946 --> 00:20:38,912 There's no more music. 553 00:20:38,937 --> 00:20:40,867 There's no more music! 554 00:20:40,892 --> 00:20:42,024 There's no more music! 555 00:20:42,049 --> 00:20:45,579 [Cheering] 556 00:20:46,361 --> 00:20:47,781 Yes! 557 00:20:47,806 --> 00:20:50,041 You did it, buddy! I did it! 558 00:20:51,353 --> 00:20:53,086 Where's your glasses? 559 00:20:53,111 --> 00:20:55,170 I threw 'em in the ocean. 560 00:20:55,195 --> 00:20:57,924 I don't think I'm gonna be needing those anymore... 561 00:20:59,298 --> 00:21:00,330 What? 562 00:21:00,355 --> 00:21:01,477 What? 563 00:21:02,680 --> 00:21:04,680 - Synced and corrected by martythecrazy - - www.addic7ed.com - 564 00:21:04,730 --> 00:21:09,280 Repair and Synchronization by Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0 38948

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