Original subtitles

Come on. Bloody thing.

Who is it?

Just the skip man.

It's changed a bit, the old area.

Yep.

Did you ever come back here? After that last time.

You?

Never return to the scene of the crime.

You know Lilly still claims she doesn't know why she did it?

Or won't admit why.

Isn't this hard enough, Alan?

What's done is done. Let it go.

Here.

Oh, thanks.

Ah!

Oh.

Talk So, Features.

'Guess who?'

Sorry to hassle you at work, I've, erm,

I've no other number for you, these days.

Doesn't take an Einstein to work out why, eh?

Such insight. What did you do with the real Jack Walsh?

How have you been?

The World Service, how's all that going?

Plugging away. You?

Ditto.

Best round the others up.

Be good to see you again, Charlie.

Ditto.

Oh.

Thank you.

Oh, er, keep it.

Keep it.

For you. It's for you.

Standard, please. Here you go, love.

'Shadow Northern Ireland Secretary Airey Neave

'was today killed by a car bomb as he left the House of Commons.

'So far, two groups, the Provisional IRA

'and the Irish National Liberation Army have claimed responsibi...'

What's the deal with meeting Alan tonight, any idea?

All I got was the message he left for me at the clinic.

I picked up your suit from the dry cleaners.

And ironed your shirts.

And your post's on the table, over there.

Oh.

Excuse me.

Why don't I save you the bother, eh?

Assume the usual position?

Everyone's a comedian.

Hey!

These two reprobates you know. Hiya. Hey.

And this is Alan.

Is it me, or are they getting younger and younger?

This is Lilly. They used to flatshare with us.

Last but not least...

No, actually, he's last.

Excuse me, I'm just going to say hello to the others.

Lilly. Hey. How are you?

I'm good. Lovely to see you. Charlotte.

Victor. Hi.

Right, here we are.

Jack.

Jay, sit yourself down.

Well, erm, now that the whole clan is here...

and you, er...

I finally got her to do the deed and say yes.

We're getting hitched.

Oh. Congratulations. Thank you very much. Well done.

Very happy.

When? When? Where?

Six weeks and four days.

It's just a registry office thing, you know, nothing over the top.

We'll have to celebrate it

It's only a piece of paper.

We're only doing it so we can get a mortgage.

The romance of it!

Be the patter of ankle-biters next.

Dirty nappies and sleepless nights, yay!

Somebody's got to preserve the species, Jack.

Well, good on you, man. Thank you very much.

Cheers!

And when the dust settles, as it will,

and when the excitement of electioneering dies away,

there is work to be done.

'Mrs Thatcher had her election prospects boosted

'by a recent MORI poll,

'which gave the Conservatives a 10% lead over Labour.

'However, when asked who would make the better Prime Minister,

'nearly 10% expressed a preference for Mr...'

When was it Charlotte moved out? Couple of years back.

What's the story with you two, anyway?

Just didn't pan out.

She was into commitment.

I'm on a deadline here, darling.

Do I have to say it in bloody semaphore?

I'm against the clock on this.

Oh, please, God, not again.

Come out, come out, wherever you are!

Run. Run!

There's one! Get the nonce!

'You don't have to go far to see

'that Westminster's 800 dustmen are already being missed.

'Rubbish is piled up against the wall

'and it is certainly a potential hazard.'

What were the papers I need to sign?

Just your signature on an amendment to your trust fund

from your grandfather.

His solicitor is trustee, and he's retiring.

Signature. Date.

Oh, I caught a couple of your Tribune articles the other day.

One on Nicaragua.

And the other on the Russian threat in Afghanistan.

I suppose it's too much to hope you'd write something

about the carnage the unions are wreaking on the home front.

Dear God, we've even got print unions who refuse to print copy

they don't agree with!

So you think it's down to Thatcher to lead us all to a brave new world?

She alone can slay the dragon of the unions.

It wasn't that long ago you thought she was a bloody joke.

Yes, well, I...

I underestimated her.

She's not alone in that.

Yes, well, consensus politics is over

and it's your lot that killed it.

You know, when Margaret Thatcher walks into Downing Street,

just remember it's your beloved left who held the door open for her.

But I doubt that's something you want to write about either.

Much less admit to.

Just as well you have your trust fund, eh?

Man cannot live by rage alone.

Jay, wait.

What is it? Can I help?

Try Punjabi.

Erm...

Do you think he might be hungry?

We can't just walk away. There must be something we can do for him.

It's not our problem. Come on.

Come on.

'Coming to speak to BBC Television News, Mr Thorpe.

'Would you like to give your statement to us?'

Only in this country can a queer on a murder charge

be allowed to fight an election.

Well, he lost his seat and his reputation.

Guilty or not, he still got punished.

You've not got a problem with it, do you?

The gay thing.

No.

I-I find it...

repugnant.

All right? I'm not proud of that,

but I do.

You need to get a grip, man. I mean, really.

Lilly says the same thing.

God knows how she puts up with us, eh?

Well, I thought you'd never ask.

I know it's only a registry office job, but...

well, I still need a best man, don't I?

Oh, it's...

No, it's just... you know.

Don't know what to say.

What if it's not enough for her, Vic?

You know, me, marriage.

See, ever since she gave up the painting,

the teaching, it doesn't cut it.

And...

I'm hoping that...

once we have our own home and...

we have a family and...

that it will be enough.

I mean, all those years waiting for her.

And the idea of life without her.

I'd have no life.

Can I have two more?

Erm, I'm off to get sandwiches.

For lunch.

Any preferences?

I've got a better idea.

Blimey.

All change here.

Right, what are we all having?

Any sign of a thaw?

Arctic winds prevail.

Fine looking lads.

Is that the wife?

Sister. She came over from Jamaica for the ceremony.

Ex-wife. Got divorced last year.

We hung in until the boys went to uni.

But as she said, there's no shame in admitting defeat.

No.

I got my boys, I got my work.

More than most.

You and Lilly, you stayed the course.

A few bumps along the way.

She secretly smokes, thinks I don't know.

So you're flying solo?

God, yes.

I am so done with all that.

Never say never.

'So, is it right, what Orla says... you're thinking about taking Silk?'

'That's amazing, Victor.'

And, uh...

have you been seeing anyone since moving out?

The occasional skirmish. Nothing, you know...

Why didn't you get in contact after you left the flat, Charlie?

I knew I'd disappointed you,

not doing it before.

That it took me so long to see the light.

And you don't let it blind you again?

That's one mistake I don't intend to repeat.

'Good afternoon, Prime Minister.'

Hello!

And I would just like to remember some words of Francis of Assisi...

"Where there is doubt, may we bring faith

"and where there's despair, may we bring hope." A role model?

You're not bloody serious? She's overcome all the odds,

including the dissenters in her own party,

proved women can aspire to anything we want...

no more apologising for being ambitious.

Let me see if I've got this straight.

She carries a female chromosome, so she's automatically furthered the feminist cause

in spite of being on record that she owes nothing to women's lib,

or the fact she's voted against every bill that might conceivably help women?

If you weren't so blinded by your precious class struggle,

you'd see what she's achieved is something to celebrate! Enough, before it ends in tears.

I thought we're here to plan Alan and Lilly's wedding bash?

They got distracted.

You can't settle for Anna Ford or Angela Rippon, no,

you have to have a vagina in Number 10 too to prove your point,

regardless of her odious politics!

You've never taken me seriously, have you?

Not ever.

Oh, yes, all else fails, let it degenerate into the personal.

Face it, love,

feminism has sod-all to do with her getting into Number 10.

Your hallowed cause is no more than a stick to beat men with rather than face your own inadequacy!

The word loser comes to mind.

Victor!

She stands up for what she believes in. When was the last time you did that, Jack?

If you ever humiliate her again,

you will have me to answer to, do you hear me?

DO YOU HEAR ME?!

I hear you.

Look. Look!

There's only one loser around here.

Stop!

Stop, wait! Wait!

You're coming with me.

You... come with me.

I'm just going to check it.

Make sure it's not infected.

It has glass in it.

My friend,

a doctor who lives here, he can get that out.

You'll be as right as rain once that's out.

You know it's... Sorry.

You know it's not just you they stop.

The police. They're after drugs.

They stop and search everyone these days who...

who's from a different culture.

I'm wasting my breath, aren't I?

OK, you take your clothes off

and I'll wash them.

No, don't bother with... Oh.

Oh, OK.

Right, well, I'll take those to be cleaned

and, um, get you some fresh clothes.

Yep?

I'm busy, Jack. Hear me out, OK?

I was an arsehole the other night.

If I could take it back, I would.

Too little... and way too late.

There's more.

I've applied for selection as the Labour candidate in the by-election.

Tough seat... the Tories won the past two elections there.

It's a place to start.

Or a lost cause.

Well, then, we're made for each other.

You'll have to get clean. I know.

And stay that way.

I have to make this work, Charlie.

I'm ready for it now.

I'm ready for a lot of things.

Anyway, what I came to say...

You're wrong.

What you said.

I always took you seriously.

That's what scared me.

I've got someone staying a few days, if that's all right?

He's been living rough on the streets. He has no English or..

The police have been harassing him, Jack.

He needs a roof until I can find him a hostel or somewhere else to stay.

You're terminally nice, aren't you, Orla?

Put us all to shame.

Astrology's a big deal in our culture.

I said our star signs are incompatible.

This one, my father elbowed...

her dowry was rubbish.

Too thin.

Too fat.

Big gums.

The latest...

over from Delhi with her family to view prospective husbands.

Even if I rejected her too, my mother would never give up.

It's her life mission to see me married.

Well, if you told them the truth...

why you can't marry any of them...?

To Hindus, the sacred purpose of marriage is to procreate.

Homosexual men can't do that...

his very existence is a threat to the social order.

He's treated like an outcast.

Someone less than human.

I told myself hit and run sex is where it's at.

No ties, no trauma.

I don't know, maybe it's just another place to hide.

There's a thing we call Dharma. "That which is truth is Dharma".

It means moral duty.

Nice.

It's rented.

They had a dream of one day owning their own place, but...

Just something else they sacrificed to get me through medical school.

Is that your brother?

I need him there to translate.

My mother speaks no English,

and my Punjabi's crap at the best of times.

You don't have to tell them, Jay.

A sin of omission can be less cruel than the truth.

But sin nonetheless.

Do or die, eh?

Hello, Jack.

I would say I happened to be passing

but I think your finely-tuned shit detector would see through that.

Sorry, I'm in the middle of something.

So your mother said. She told me about your candidacy.

Are you serious about it?

The NEC approval of my name on the longlist.

When's the shortlist due out?

Any day. And do you have the necessary union backing?

The TGWU signed up.

Well, you'll need to broaden the base of that,

get the Fabian Society behind you.

Done and dusted.

Nicotine.

You'll have to show your face in the different wards in the constituency,

press the flesh. The local candidate could prove a problem.

Better the devil you know, etc.

And of course your background will count against you too.

You must be aware of that,

not to mention the fact that I used to sit on the opposite benches.

They'll be gunning for you on that too.

One could almost mistake you for someone who cared, Father.

It is possible to respect a man's commitment to a cause

without sharing his politics.

A trick you've yet to master.

I'm working on it.

In the end, it'll boil down to the interview,

how you perform under pressure.

They're bound to pull out all the stops on that.

A lad from the street Orla's helping. The police were giving him grief.

With good cause, if he's not here legally.

Oh, Jack, now is not the time to play the Good Samaritan.

Not when you've come so far.

I'm at the end of a phone if you need me.

God, you're brave.

Right, shall we find a pub or go home? Home.

How goes it on the hostel front?

Directly his foot is better, I'll get onto it.

Not a problem, him staying, is it?

We know nothing about him, do we?

We know he needs help. Isn't that enough?

I mean, we don't know his status.

Status?

If he's here legally or...

I've this candidacy thing now, haven't I?

I need to be cleaner than clean.

Isn't the point of you going into politics so you can help people like him?

Who are vulnerable, who need protection?

Isn't that what you're always banging on about?

I'm not saying turf him out on the street.

Let the Sally Army look after him,

that's what they're there for, isn't it?

So I've got this straight, have I?

All the people who you have over, all the women,

the cooking I do for them, the cleaning up after them,

one time, ONE TIME I ask to return the favour, this is what I get?!

Come on, don't make me out to be the bad guy here.

It's about the greater good.

Sometimes we have to make tough choices.

You mean I do.

No rubbish in sight, is there?

When the strike started, the Residents' Association got up

a rota to take it to the dump.

You can shut out all the troubles of the world here.

Like a parallel universe.

It's got everything we want, this, hasn't it?

Everything we talked about, It's all on the list.

This would be a perfect kids' room, wouldn't it, eh? Cot...

South facing. Good for growing veg.

"The Good Life", here we come, eh?

If it's not what you want, Lilly, you've got to tell me.

You've got to tell me. I'm not a mind reader, know what I mean?

Of course, of course. We'll keep looking. Of course it's what I want.

I'm just... I'm just taking it all in, that's all.

Do you, um...?

Do you want to put in an offer?

Sure? Yeah?

Right.

Oh, no...

No, no, no, no...

Oh, no, no, no, no. Not here, not here, not here...

How are you doing up there?

Won't be long.

Oh, God...

Let me do the talking, OK?

Later!

His name is Asif.

He's from Afghanistan.

There was some kind of uprising.

He and his family got caught in the crossfire.

His parents and sister were killed.

He escaped through Pakistan into Turkey

and stowed away on a container ship.

He has an uncle in Germany, which is where he thinks he is now.

I'll take him to the Afghan Embassy tomorrow,

see if they can get him to Frankfurt.

He'll be out of your hair.

Asif?

Asif?

'After the interviews, we'll take a vote.

'It'll be a straight vote on a show of hands, no discussion.

'The order of interviews will be determined by drawing lots.

'Wait outside till you're called.'

You came.

Curiosity. Don't read anything into it.

How are you feeling?

Crapping myself, since you ask.

You'll be fine.

I feel like a different person.

The person I'm supposed to be, if that makes any sense.

Took your time getting there.

Not there yet, am I?

Mr Walsh?

Enjoy the show.

'You live in London, Mr Walsh?'

If I'm lucky enough to be selected, I'll move here to live, of course.

As the son of a Viscount and all the privilege of that,

how can you expect to win the votes

of the working people in our constituency?

I am here in spite of my background, not because of it.

Since time immemorial, my family has been Conservative.

I make no secret of it.

But I hope the fact that I broke with that,

turning my back on my family to stand for Labour,

will be a symbol to the voters of the depth of my commitment.

In your view, where was it we went wrong at the election?

We... Um...

What has the country to show from the last Labour Government?

An economy riven by strikes, rising unemployment,

in hock for billions...

Add to that we...

Add to that our Faustian pact with the Unions, you have your answer.

We've devised a system where at party conference, one man,

one single individual, can raise his hand

and account for hundreds of thousands of votes.

While our own rank and file members, like those of you here today,

ordinary, decent working people,

are excluded from having a voice in your own Party.

As the Tories roll back the state with their draconian cuts,

every man, woman and child in this country will pay

the price for our failure to put our house in order.

We've betrayed the very people who we're supposed to protect.

In doing so, we've betrayed the moral values which define us.

Until we're able to admit that failure,

we'll remain not just unelected

but unelectable for generations to come.

Ah, thank you, love. Thank you.

Cheers. Cheers! Cheers!

To Lilly! To Lilly!

Back in a minute.

Thanks for doing that. I could barely keep up with her.

She turned up at my flat this morning. She does that.

She just won't stay on her medication.

Last week, the police rang in the middle of the night.

She was in the street outside her flat, shouting obscenities at a neighbour.

She thought he'd put a camera in the party wall to spy on her.

Can her doctor not do something?

Short of sectioning her again... And I can't let that happen.

Such a load to carry on your own.

He pulled it off, then?

His finest hour, arguably.

Jay and I went for moral support.

Like I said to him, don't go reading anything into it.

He bought that, did he?

He's not the issue.

Have you seen him dance? Have you seen him dance? Yes, Mum.

I forgot to pick up the cake! The wedding cake!

I clean forgot about the damn thing. Now I'm over the limit! But Jack lent us these.

The cake shop on Clarence Road?

Can't Jack go himself? He's over the limit too.

Please?

Thank you.

You fancy a spin?

Duty calls.

Don't you move from that spot.

Are you going? No. You stay there.

Where's he going?

All right, Mum?

Speech!

The father-in-law!

You have kids, you want to do your best for 'em.

You want 'em to have everything you didn't.

I couldn't always deliver that for our Lilly,

not for the want of trying.

Oh, it's true, when she came down to London to do her art thing,

I didn't get it.

But then she's always followed her own star.

And that's led her to him.

I knew when she first brought him home that he'd do right by her.

He's pulled himself up by his bootstraps,

made a future for himself.

Mind you, if he ever let her down,

It's not just Ali who can sting like a bloody bee!

To Lilly and Alan,

we wish you health and wealth. Above all, happiness.

To Lilly and Alan. Lilly and Alan.

Where the hell is Victor and that cake?

Can I just steal my wife away for a second?

Are you happy?

What do you think?

I have the right to make a phone call!

Hello?

The police pulled Victor up on a stop and search.

They found cocaine in your car.

They're charging him with possession.

You have to go there, Jack. Put it right.

If I do, I'm screwed.

I'm finished before I've even started!

What about Victor? He'll be struck off!

He could say they planted it. Be their word against his, won't it?

You have to ask him, Charlie.

Tell him what's at stake!

He'd do it for you.

What was it you said in your interview?

About being defined by moral values?

Bloody prove it, Jack.

I'm here, aren't I? I proved it.

You hesitated, Jack. You hesitated.

Thank you very much, officer.

Right, you have access to a telephone.

I suggest you make a call and resign your candidacy

before the press get hold of it.

At least retain some modicum of dignity.

Dad... There's nothing you have to say, Jack, that I want to hear.

Dad! I've heard it all before!

I'm not fool enough to fall for it again.

I thought it best if I leave her there.

I've made the bed up in Victor's old room if you fancy.

Thanks, sweet.

Night, night.

Shush!

My cup runneth over.

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