Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:05,233 --> 00:00:08,633
I can't believe you talked me
into seeing a movie about cheerleaders.
2
00:00:08,634 --> 00:00:10,802
Hey, look, did I complain
last weekend
3
00:00:10,836 --> 00:00:12,603
when you made me go with you
to see "Big Fat Greek Wedding"?
4
00:00:12,638 --> 00:00:14,672
You loved it! You kept
saying it was adorable.
5
00:00:14,706 --> 00:00:16,707
That was your word. "Adorable."
"I think it's -- "
6
00:00:16,741 --> 00:00:18,865
Shh!
7
00:00:18,899 --> 00:00:21,035
I know, and I'm not
proud of it.
8
00:00:21,069 --> 00:00:23,076
And that's why I want
to see this movie, okay?
9
00:00:23,111 --> 00:00:24,581
To get my manhood back.
10
00:00:24,615 --> 00:00:26,255
Now, could you hold
my place in line
11
00:00:26,289 --> 00:00:27,859
while I go pee-pee?
12
00:00:27,893 --> 00:00:30,030
I don't think there are
any restrooms around here.
13
00:00:30,066 --> 00:00:33,206
When you're a man,
the world is your restroom.
14
00:00:33,240 --> 00:00:34,574
- Hey.
- Hey.
15
00:00:34,609 --> 00:00:36,112
Where's he going?
16
00:00:36,146 --> 00:00:38,953
Oh, he had to go "use"
the alley across the street.
17
00:00:38,988 --> 00:00:40,426
Ew! That's disgusting.
18
00:00:40,460 --> 00:00:42,499
No, no, that's one
of your nicer alleys.
19
00:00:42,534 --> 00:00:44,503
There's a low wall,
so while you're going
20
00:00:44,538 --> 00:00:46,471
you can look out
over the Hudson
21
00:00:46,506 --> 00:00:48,473
and see Lady Liberty
on the horizon.
22
00:00:48,507 --> 00:00:49,874
God bless America.
23
00:00:51,110 --> 00:00:53,345
Anyway, we gotta go.
Our movie's sold out.
24
00:00:53,379 --> 00:00:55,650
Oh, guys, come see
the movie with us.
25
00:00:55,684 --> 00:00:57,653
It's an action movie
about cheerleaders --
26
00:00:57,687 --> 00:01:00,257
"Good Cheer 2:
Extreme Routine."
27
00:01:00,291 --> 00:01:02,226
Nah, I think
we're just gonna go eat.
28
00:01:02,260 --> 00:01:03,995
Besides, I got enough
cheerleading in high school
29
00:01:04,029 --> 00:01:05,496
to last me a lifetime.
30
00:01:05,530 --> 00:01:06,830
Wait, wait, wait.
31
00:01:06,865 --> 00:01:09,164
You were a cheerleader
in high school?
32
00:01:09,199 --> 00:01:11,433
Why am I just learning
about this?
33
00:01:11,467 --> 00:01:13,769
I didn't think
it was any big deal.
34
00:01:13,803 --> 00:01:16,773
Hi, I'm Jeff, your boyfriend.
I'm a guy.
35
00:01:17,876 --> 00:01:19,344
See you later.
Have fun.
36
00:01:19,378 --> 00:01:20,612
Bye, guys.
37
00:01:20,646 --> 00:01:22,515
Are you coming?
38
00:01:22,550 --> 00:01:24,485
I will write you a check
for $5,000
39
00:01:24,519 --> 00:01:26,152
if you jump in the air
and land in a scissors split.
40
00:01:28,722 --> 00:01:31,692
96, 97, 98, 99, 100!
41
00:01:31,726 --> 00:01:33,128
Congratulations!
42
00:01:33,162 --> 00:01:34,697
Thank you.
43
00:01:34,731 --> 00:01:36,199
On what?
44
00:01:36,233 --> 00:01:38,402
Best dressed?
45
00:01:38,436 --> 00:01:39,704
Um, no.
46
00:01:39,738 --> 00:01:42,308
We are having
a promotion tonight,
47
00:01:42,342 --> 00:01:44,710
and the 100th person in line
wins a free iBop.
48
00:01:44,745 --> 00:01:46,379
Oh, my God.
Are you serious?
49
00:01:46,413 --> 00:01:48,380
I won something?
That's really cool.
50
00:01:48,415 --> 00:01:50,183
I've never won
anything before.
51
00:01:50,218 --> 00:01:53,054
Wow, an iBop!
52
00:01:53,088 --> 00:01:55,290
What's an iBop?
53
00:02:33,266 --> 00:02:37,266
Sync by chocomoon
www.addic7ed.com
54
00:02:37,951 --> 00:02:40,185
Great. We've got
your name and address.
55
00:02:40,220 --> 00:02:42,087
Your iBop will be delivered
first thing tomorrow morning.
56
00:02:42,121 --> 00:02:43,588
Okay. Well, great.
57
00:02:43,623 --> 00:02:44,623
What's great?
58
00:02:44,657 --> 00:02:46,090
I won a free iBop
59
00:02:46,125 --> 00:02:47,959
for being the 100th person
in line.
60
00:02:47,993 --> 00:02:50,060
An iBop? Well, I was
standing in front of you.
61
00:02:50,095 --> 00:02:51,795
I was the 100th person
in line.
62
00:02:51,830 --> 00:02:53,497
No, you see,
I was in the alley
63
00:02:53,531 --> 00:02:55,599
taking care of my business,
and, you know,
64
00:02:55,633 --> 00:02:57,934
I was taking a while
because Lady Liberty
65
00:02:57,969 --> 00:03:00,804
was staring at me,
and I got this shy bladder.
66
00:03:00,838 --> 00:03:02,105
Congratulations.
67
00:03:02,139 --> 00:03:03,439
Thank you.
68
00:03:03,473 --> 00:03:05,707
I can't believe
I finally won something.
69
00:03:05,742 --> 00:03:08,276
I just wish it were
more practical,
70
00:03:08,310 --> 00:03:10,544
like a robotic butler.
71
00:03:10,578 --> 00:03:12,746
Holly, an iBop
is a musical miracle.
72
00:03:12,780 --> 00:03:14,714
It has a 5-gigabyte
hard drive
73
00:03:14,748 --> 00:03:16,883
that can double
as a firewire drive.
74
00:03:16,917 --> 00:03:18,117
It holds files --
75
00:03:18,151 --> 00:03:20,953
Oh, I am so hot
right now.
76
00:03:20,987 --> 00:03:23,821
- Look, you like music, right?
- Well, of course.
77
00:03:23,856 --> 00:03:27,090
Well, then this is like,
um...this...
78
00:03:27,125 --> 00:03:29,625
you'd hate the iBop.
79
00:03:29,660 --> 00:03:31,360
Yeah, it's really,
really complicated
80
00:03:31,394 --> 00:03:32,828
and technical,
and the only people
81
00:03:32,862 --> 00:03:34,462
who like iBops
are computer geeks,
82
00:03:34,497 --> 00:03:36,064
outcasts,
and plain old losers.
83
00:03:36,098 --> 00:03:38,799
You should have it then.
84
00:03:38,834 --> 00:03:41,234
It's gonna be delivered
first thing tomorrow morning.
85
00:03:41,268 --> 00:03:43,135
Well, if you insist.
86
00:03:43,170 --> 00:03:45,971
Hey, you know, it also comes
in 10- and 20-gigabyte models.
87
00:03:46,006 --> 00:03:47,572
Back off, ladies!
88
00:03:47,607 --> 00:03:51,442
He's all mine!
89
00:03:52,944 --> 00:03:55,479
Un petite gant fraise,
s'il vous plaît.
90
00:03:55,513 --> 00:03:56,980
Merci.
91
00:03:57,015 --> 00:03:58,648
Wow.
92
00:03:58,683 --> 00:04:00,450
Ordering in French --
I'm impressed.
93
00:04:00,485 --> 00:04:02,118
Uh, don't be.
I'm pretty sure
94
00:04:02,152 --> 00:04:04,086
I just ordered
a small strawberry glove.
95
00:04:04,120 --> 00:04:06,822
Still, I love
the sound of that language.
96
00:04:06,856 --> 00:04:08,657
It's so romantic.
97
00:04:08,691 --> 00:04:09,925
Hey,
can I ask you something?
98
00:04:09,960 --> 00:04:11,360
Mm-hmm.
99
00:04:11,394 --> 00:04:13,495
When you guys were building
that cheerleading pyramid,
100
00:04:13,529 --> 00:04:14,962
where were you exactly?
101
00:04:14,996 --> 00:04:18,230
Where I always am,
sweetie -- on top.
102
00:04:19,866 --> 00:04:22,833
Listen, what do you say we get
that strawberry glove to go
103
00:04:22,867 --> 00:04:25,369
and top off the night
at my place?
104
00:04:25,403 --> 00:04:27,337
Mmm,
I say get the check.
105
00:04:27,371 --> 00:04:29,839
I just have to stop by
my apartment first.
106
00:04:29,873 --> 00:04:31,207
Um, wait a sec.
107
00:04:31,242 --> 00:04:33,309
You want to go by
your place across town
108
00:04:33,344 --> 00:04:35,111
so we can stay the night at
my place two blocks from here?
109
00:04:35,145 --> 00:04:36,946
Yeah. I promise
I'll be quick.
110
00:04:36,980 --> 00:04:38,714
Do you mean reality quick
or "I'm just gonna run
111
00:04:38,748 --> 00:04:39,981
into Bloomingdale's
for a second" quick?
112
00:04:43,252 --> 00:04:45,686
How much longer
are you gonna be?
113
00:04:45,720 --> 00:04:47,520
Yeah.
I just had to get
114
00:04:47,555 --> 00:04:49,722
the carrying case
for my toothbrush.
115
00:04:49,757 --> 00:04:53,192
I almost grabbed Holly's.
Whew! Dodged a bullet.
116
00:04:53,226 --> 00:04:55,728
You know, I should have
bought different colors,
117
00:04:55,762 --> 00:04:57,196
but they only had blue,
118
00:04:57,230 --> 00:04:58,964
so I put our initials
on the bottom.
119
00:04:58,999 --> 00:05:00,866
The "V.T." sort of looked
like an "H.T."
120
00:05:00,901 --> 00:05:02,868
You know what I could do?
121
00:05:02,902 --> 00:05:06,270
I could wrap some
colored tape around the bottom.
122
00:05:08,873 --> 00:05:10,640
What are you doing?
123
00:05:10,674 --> 00:05:12,708
This is me
with a long gray beard
124
00:05:12,742 --> 00:05:15,309
waiting for you to finish
your toothbrush story.
125
00:05:15,343 --> 00:05:16,710
Very funny.
126
00:05:16,745 --> 00:05:18,012
Can we leave now?
127
00:05:18,047 --> 00:05:20,381
Yes. Ready to go.
128
00:05:20,416 --> 00:05:21,883
What?
129
00:05:21,917 --> 00:05:26,419
Sweetie, what is your, uh,
toilet paper situation?
130
00:05:26,454 --> 00:05:28,154
I got stuff.
131
00:05:28,188 --> 00:05:31,157
Jeff, we can't just
shake it like you.
132
00:05:33,359 --> 00:05:35,660
I'm just gonna go grab
a roll -- and my blow dryer.
133
00:05:35,695 --> 00:05:37,029
Oh, my God!
134
00:05:37,063 --> 00:05:38,797
Honey, I'm sorry,
but if I don't take
135
00:05:38,831 --> 00:05:40,365
all of this stuff over
with me now,
136
00:05:40,399 --> 00:05:42,300
I'm just gonna have
to get up early
137
00:05:42,334 --> 00:05:44,069
and leave your place,
come back here and get ready,
138
00:05:44,103 --> 00:05:44,836
when I could spend
the whole morning with you.
139
00:05:44,870 --> 00:05:46,205
I'm just thinking ahead.
140
00:05:46,239 --> 00:05:47,906
Of course you were.
You always plan ahead.
141
00:05:47,940 --> 00:05:49,174
I just wish --
142
00:05:49,208 --> 00:05:50,342
What?
143
00:05:50,376 --> 00:05:52,410
I just wish you were
more spontaneous.
144
00:05:52,444 --> 00:05:54,978
There, I said it.
It's out there.
145
00:05:56,547 --> 00:05:58,682
What?
146
00:05:58,717 --> 00:06:00,350
I'm processing.
147
00:06:00,384 --> 00:06:02,919
No! Stop processing.
Stop planning.
148
00:06:02,954 --> 00:06:04,421
It's driving me crazy.
149
00:06:04,456 --> 00:06:06,123
You know
what your problem is?
150
00:06:06,157 --> 00:06:09,392
My problem?
Well, no.
151
00:06:09,427 --> 00:06:11,261
Why don't you tell me
what my problem is?
152
00:06:11,295 --> 00:06:14,430
You can never just
go with the flow. Huh?
153
00:06:14,464 --> 00:06:17,299
Yeah, sometimes
the flow is fun.
154
00:06:17,334 --> 00:06:19,434
Okay. Fine.
155
00:06:19,468 --> 00:06:21,602
You want me to be
more spontaneous?
156
00:06:21,637 --> 00:06:23,003
How's this?
157
00:06:23,038 --> 00:06:24,238
Good night.
158
00:06:27,742 --> 00:06:29,509
Well, I won that one.
159
00:06:39,985 --> 00:06:41,786
Hey. What are you doing?
160
00:06:41,820 --> 00:06:43,454
I'm listening
to my iBop.
161
00:06:43,489 --> 00:06:44,956
Where did you get that?
162
00:06:44,990 --> 00:06:46,791
I won it last night
in the movie line.
163
00:06:46,825 --> 00:06:48,292
Guess it was
my lucky night.
164
00:06:48,327 --> 00:06:49,993
I had a horrible night.
165
00:06:50,028 --> 00:06:51,794
Did you know this thing
can hold up to 1,000 songs?
166
00:06:51,828 --> 00:06:53,593
Jeff and I got into
a fight.
167
00:06:53,627 --> 00:06:55,292
I just downloaded
"Sk8er Boi" by Avril Lavigne,
168
00:06:55,326 --> 00:06:57,224
"If I Ruled the World"
by Nas --
169
00:06:57,259 --> 00:06:59,291
Did you happen to get
"I'm so insensitive,
170
00:06:59,325 --> 00:07:01,126
I'm not listening
to my sister" by Holly Tyler?
171
00:07:01,160 --> 00:07:04,128
Sorry. Okay, so you
and Jeff got into a fight?
172
00:07:04,163 --> 00:07:05,563
Mm-hmm.
173
00:07:05,597 --> 00:07:07,064
What did you do?
174
00:07:07,098 --> 00:07:08,799
I didn't do anything!
175
00:07:08,834 --> 00:07:11,135
He says
I'm not spontaneous.
176
00:07:11,169 --> 00:07:12,803
Wow.
177
00:07:12,837 --> 00:07:14,504
So, did you promptly
make a list
178
00:07:14,539 --> 00:07:16,506
of all the ways
that hurt your feelings?
179
00:07:16,540 --> 00:07:19,475
Hey, I am just as spontaneous
as the next person.
180
00:07:19,509 --> 00:07:20,843
No, you're not.
181
00:07:20,877 --> 00:07:22,811
You are a scheduler
and an organizer.
182
00:07:22,845 --> 00:07:25,813
You plan ahead to set aside
time to plan ahead.
183
00:07:25,847 --> 00:07:27,648
Just look at the pantry.
184
00:07:27,682 --> 00:07:29,449
You alphabetize soups.
185
00:07:29,484 --> 00:07:31,251
Oh, and that's a bad thing?
186
00:07:31,285 --> 00:07:32,819
Last week, when you were
craving Manhattan Clam Chowder,
187
00:07:32,853 --> 00:07:34,253
how fast did you find it?
188
00:07:34,288 --> 00:07:35,988
I'm not saying it's bad.
189
00:07:36,022 --> 00:07:38,657
If the world didn't have
people like you,
190
00:07:38,691 --> 00:07:41,493
then the fun people
wouldn't know they were fun.
191
00:07:43,195 --> 00:07:45,262
Hey!
192
00:07:45,297 --> 00:07:46,997
Look, I just think
that sometimes
193
00:07:47,031 --> 00:07:48,498
you miss out on fun stuff
194
00:07:48,533 --> 00:07:50,500
because you're so busy
planning.
195
00:07:50,534 --> 00:07:52,201
And if your boyfriend
wants you to be
196
00:07:52,236 --> 00:07:54,003
a little more spontaneous,
try it.
197
00:07:54,037 --> 00:07:55,504
What could it hurt?
198
00:07:55,539 --> 00:07:57,005
You're right.
199
00:07:57,039 --> 00:07:58,606
You're right.
You're right.
200
00:07:58,641 --> 00:08:00,040
I'm gonna go sit down
and come up with
201
00:08:00,075 --> 00:08:02,509
a really good
spontaneous plan.
202
00:08:02,543 --> 00:08:04,410
I'm gonna need
graph paper.
203
00:08:11,050 --> 00:08:14,285
Oh. Yeah, one sec.
204
00:08:14,319 --> 00:08:15,686
Damn!
205
00:08:17,055 --> 00:08:18,589
Um, one sec, Gary.
206
00:08:21,894 --> 00:08:23,394
I'm coming.
207
00:08:26,064 --> 00:08:27,364
Hey, Gary.
208
00:08:27,398 --> 00:08:28,865
Hey, did it get here yet?
209
00:08:28,900 --> 00:08:31,367
No, no. I was hoping
you were the guy.
210
00:08:31,401 --> 00:08:33,102
Well, that's weird.
211
00:08:35,005 --> 00:08:36,872
They said first thing
in the morning, right?
212
00:08:36,906 --> 00:08:38,474
Yeah. You know,
I'm starting to think
213
00:08:38,508 --> 00:08:40,976
it may have been one of those
elaborate scams.
214
00:08:41,010 --> 00:08:42,544
- What do you mean?
- Well, I've been reading about it on the Internet.
215
00:08:42,578 --> 00:08:43,778
Apparently...
216
00:08:47,082 --> 00:08:50,217
uh, the Quakers
are behind it.
217
00:08:50,252 --> 00:08:52,719
They, uh, offer you
a free iBop,
218
00:08:52,754 --> 00:08:54,520
and then it steals
your soul.
219
00:08:54,555 --> 00:08:56,988
Are you okay?
220
00:08:57,023 --> 00:09:00,190
Yeah, yeah, I think I ate
something weird last night.
221
00:09:00,225 --> 00:09:02,493
Listen, the second it gets here,
could you call me at work?
222
00:09:02,527 --> 00:09:04,394
- Oh, yeah, absolutely.
- All right, thanks.
223
00:09:04,429 --> 00:09:05,562
Bye.
224
00:09:05,597 --> 00:09:07,898
Bye-bye now. Ha ha.
I'm kidding.
225
00:09:07,932 --> 00:09:10,234
Wait, from 1:00 to 1:45,
I'm --
226
00:09:11,970 --> 00:09:13,671
What did you eat?
227
00:09:13,705 --> 00:09:16,941
Uh, I think
it must have been the soup.
228
00:09:18,710 --> 00:09:22,245
Was it cream of iBop?
229
00:09:22,280 --> 00:09:26,180
All right, yes, it came.
I love it, and it's mine.
230
00:09:26,215 --> 00:09:27,715
You said I could have it.
231
00:09:27,749 --> 00:09:29,416
That was before
I fell in love with it.
232
00:09:29,451 --> 00:09:30,918
And I love it, Gary.
233
00:09:30,952 --> 00:09:33,353
I love it like a little
tiny child.
234
00:09:33,387 --> 00:09:36,088
I can't believe you.
I thought you were my friend.
235
00:09:36,122 --> 00:09:39,090
My friend wouldn't try
to steal this from me.
236
00:09:40,158 --> 00:09:42,593
Don't worry, baby.
237
00:09:42,627 --> 00:09:45,728
The bad man is gone.
238
00:09:51,132 --> 00:09:54,100
Jamie, has Jeff left
the restaurant yet?
239
00:09:54,134 --> 00:09:55,768
No, no, I'm at his place.
240
00:09:57,070 --> 00:09:59,638
Oh, never mind.
He just came in.
241
00:10:00,974 --> 00:10:01,940
Hey.
242
00:10:01,974 --> 00:10:03,542
Hey.
What --
243
00:10:03,576 --> 00:10:06,010
Just thought I'd stop by
on my way to the big game.
244
00:10:08,147 --> 00:10:09,914
What are you doing?
245
00:10:09,948 --> 00:10:11,448
Ready?
246
00:10:11,483 --> 00:10:12,949
Okay.
247
00:10:12,983 --> 00:10:16,119
Jeff, my love,
I've got something to share!
248
00:10:16,153 --> 00:10:18,221
Hey, hey, beneath
this skirt
249
00:10:18,255 --> 00:10:19,922
I've got no under --
250
00:10:19,956 --> 00:10:22,357
Whoa, whoa, whoa!
251
00:10:23,959 --> 00:10:25,126
Who's this?
252
00:10:25,160 --> 00:10:27,294
Uh, Val, this is Linda --
253
00:10:27,328 --> 00:10:29,628
my mom.
254
00:10:29,662 --> 00:10:32,798
Oh, my.
255
00:10:43,838 --> 00:10:46,006
Hey, it could have
been worse.
256
00:10:46,040 --> 00:10:47,107
Really? How?
257
00:10:47,141 --> 00:10:48,641
I don't know.
258
00:10:48,676 --> 00:10:50,710
You could have been naked
under the skirt.
259
00:10:52,779 --> 00:10:54,812
No!
260
00:10:54,847 --> 00:10:58,248
I am such a ho!
261
00:10:58,282 --> 00:11:00,749
Jeff, your mom hates me.
262
00:11:00,784 --> 00:11:02,584
No, she doesn't.
Stop worrying.
263
00:11:02,619 --> 00:11:04,152
No, you don't understand.
264
00:11:04,186 --> 00:11:06,020
That was her first
impression of me.
265
00:11:06,055 --> 00:11:07,722
I mean, I can be smart
and charming and funny,
266
00:11:07,756 --> 00:11:11,191
but she will never forget
the sight of me like that.
267
00:11:11,225 --> 00:11:13,093
It does stay with you.
268
00:11:13,127 --> 00:11:15,929
Why is your mom even here?
269
00:11:15,963 --> 00:11:17,297
This is what she does.
270
00:11:17,332 --> 00:11:19,166
She gets in a fight
with my dad
271
00:11:19,201 --> 00:11:21,169
and she comes to the city
to spend a bunch of his money,
272
00:11:21,203 --> 00:11:23,137
and then she goes home
and everything's fine.
273
00:11:23,172 --> 00:11:25,373
I should have
never listened to you guys.
274
00:11:25,407 --> 00:11:26,941
I should have just stuck
to my schedule
275
00:11:26,975 --> 00:11:28,342
and dusted my plants.
276
00:11:28,376 --> 00:11:30,711
Do you do that
without any underwear?
277
00:11:30,745 --> 00:11:31,879
Oh, my God!
278
00:11:31,913 --> 00:11:33,214
Oh, listen, sweetie,
279
00:11:33,248 --> 00:11:35,148
I'm sorry
that you got embarrassed,
280
00:11:35,183 --> 00:11:37,617
but I got to tell you,
I love that you did something
281
00:11:37,651 --> 00:11:39,218
surprising and impulsive.
282
00:11:39,252 --> 00:11:41,186
And, you know,
my mom's leaving on Saturday.
283
00:11:41,220 --> 00:11:42,620
Huh?
284
00:11:42,654 --> 00:11:44,688
Would that cheerleader
like to meet
285
00:11:44,722 --> 00:11:46,289
a shirtless fireman?
286
00:11:46,323 --> 00:11:47,857
Mwah.
287
00:11:47,892 --> 00:11:49,359
Look at that.
288
00:11:49,393 --> 00:11:51,360
See how happy
you made him?
289
00:11:51,394 --> 00:11:54,561
Was it really that hard
to be spontaneous?
290
00:11:54,595 --> 00:11:56,195
- Can I tell you a secret?
- Mm-hmm.
291
00:11:56,230 --> 00:11:57,931
It almost killed me!
292
00:11:59,733 --> 00:12:01,066
Hey, Gary.
293
00:12:01,101 --> 00:12:03,969
Here's your sandwich,
buddy.
294
00:12:04,003 --> 00:12:05,570
Oh. So when I called
and ordered
295
00:12:05,605 --> 00:12:07,505
this chicken parmesan
sandwich,
296
00:12:07,540 --> 00:12:09,807
and you said I could have it,
you meant what you said?
297
00:12:09,841 --> 00:12:10,908
What?
298
00:12:10,942 --> 00:12:12,542
Oh, I mean you didn't
299
00:12:12,577 --> 00:12:14,544
fall in love
with the sandwich
300
00:12:14,579 --> 00:12:16,479
and hide it down
your pants.
301
00:12:16,513 --> 00:12:20,150
No, I like the sandwich,
but only as a friend.
302
00:12:20,185 --> 00:12:21,819
You are a man of honor.
303
00:12:21,853 --> 00:12:23,521
Jeff,
how much do I owe you?
304
00:12:23,555 --> 00:12:25,522
Gary, do we really
have to play this game?
305
00:12:25,557 --> 00:12:26,890
Thank you.
306
00:12:30,094 --> 00:12:31,928
Oh, dear God!
307
00:12:33,364 --> 00:12:34,564
Hey, Mom.
308
00:12:34,599 --> 00:12:35,732
Hi, honey.
309
00:12:35,766 --> 00:12:38,001
Mwah!
Whoa. Tiffany's.
310
00:12:38,035 --> 00:12:40,537
Dad must have really
screwed up big this time.
311
00:12:40,571 --> 00:12:42,105
Darling,
you know I don't like
312
00:12:42,139 --> 00:12:44,240
to air our dirty laundry
in public.
313
00:12:44,274 --> 00:12:47,309
But I do like
to give away watches.
314
00:12:47,343 --> 00:12:49,612
Any one of you strangers here
want a Rolex?
315
00:12:49,646 --> 00:12:51,413
Here, let me take
these bags.
316
00:12:51,448 --> 00:12:52,949
I'm gonna go throw them
in the office.
317
00:12:52,983 --> 00:12:54,117
Okay.
318
00:12:55,386 --> 00:12:58,054
Val!
319
00:12:58,089 --> 00:12:59,055
Hey, Linda!
320
00:12:59,090 --> 00:13:00,056
Hey!
321
00:13:00,090 --> 00:13:01,557
Wow, you --
322
00:13:01,592 --> 00:13:03,192
Listen, I'm really sorry
about what happened earlier.
323
00:13:03,227 --> 00:13:04,527
I was mortified.
324
00:13:04,561 --> 00:13:06,329
Oh, no.
Oh, don't be sorry.
325
00:13:06,363 --> 00:13:08,431
No, that was the cutest
thing I've ever seen.
326
00:13:08,465 --> 00:13:09,765
Oh.
327
00:13:09,799 --> 00:13:11,366
No, I'm just so happy
328
00:13:11,400 --> 00:13:13,234
that Jeff is finally
dating someone who's fun.
329
00:13:13,268 --> 00:13:15,202
You know, a little wild.
330
00:13:15,236 --> 00:13:16,836
Little wild?
331
00:13:16,871 --> 00:13:19,071
You should see what this girl
will do on camera for beads.
332
00:13:19,106 --> 00:13:20,772
Holly --
333
00:13:20,807 --> 00:13:22,773
Oh, no, I love it.
334
00:13:22,808 --> 00:13:24,441
And who are you?
335
00:13:24,476 --> 00:13:26,610
Oh, I'm sorry.
This is my sister Holly.
336
00:13:26,644 --> 00:13:28,612
Uh-oh. Uh-oh.
Two of you?
337
00:13:28,646 --> 00:13:31,547
Ooh, I bet you guys know
how to get into trouble.
338
00:13:31,582 --> 00:13:34,617
Oh...yeah.
The stories we could tell.
339
00:13:34,651 --> 00:13:36,785
Wait, you're not a cop,
are you?
340
00:13:36,820 --> 00:13:38,887
And I bet
you're on your way
341
00:13:38,921 --> 00:13:42,057
to do something
insane tonight.
342
00:13:42,091 --> 00:13:44,593
Well, who do you think
you're talking to?
343
00:13:44,627 --> 00:13:46,628
Can I come?
344
00:13:46,663 --> 00:13:48,296
A-are you kidding?
345
00:13:48,331 --> 00:13:49,797
Okay.
346
00:13:49,831 --> 00:13:51,966
Yeah, we would love
to have you come with us
347
00:13:52,000 --> 00:13:53,467
to that -- that...
348
00:13:53,501 --> 00:13:55,102
Help.
349
00:13:55,136 --> 00:13:58,471
Well, you have been talking
about the dancing Greek.
350
00:13:58,505 --> 00:14:01,305
Gorgeous waiters,
smashing plates, dancing.
351
00:14:01,340 --> 00:14:03,140
What do you say
we go get our asses
352
00:14:03,174 --> 00:14:05,809
thrown out of there, huh?
353
00:14:11,046 --> 00:14:13,114
Hey! Ho!
354
00:14:13,148 --> 00:14:15,249
Ho!
355
00:14:15,284 --> 00:14:16,517
Hey! Ho!
356
00:14:16,551 --> 00:14:19,251
Hey! Hey!
357
00:14:21,787 --> 00:14:24,822
: Opah!
358
00:14:26,692 --> 00:14:29,961
This is so much fun!
359
00:14:36,335 --> 00:14:37,835
My cheese.
360
00:14:39,837 --> 00:14:41,671
Aah!
361
00:14:41,704 --> 00:14:43,037
My baby!
362
00:14:43,071 --> 00:14:45,938
You weren't even wearing
your helmet!
363
00:14:45,972 --> 00:14:48,540
He's fine.
Look, I need help.
364
00:14:48,575 --> 00:14:49,875
Here she comes.
365
00:14:49,909 --> 00:14:51,843
Oh...
366
00:14:51,878 --> 00:14:54,346
you know...
367
00:14:54,380 --> 00:14:57,515
I have been coming
to New York for years,
368
00:14:57,549 --> 00:15:00,648
and I have never enjoyed
myself like this.
369
00:15:00,682 --> 00:15:03,014
This is actually
pretty tame for Val,
370
00:15:03,049 --> 00:15:04,515
but after Labor Day
371
00:15:04,549 --> 00:15:06,748
it's hard to find
a good cockfight, so...
372
00:15:08,051 --> 00:15:11,686
Linda,
here's my philosophy.
373
00:15:11,720 --> 00:15:17,122
I'm all about
the "carpe diem."
374
00:15:17,157 --> 00:15:20,191
You know, seize the day,
the, uh, live in the moment.
375
00:15:20,225 --> 00:15:22,193
We've only got one shot, baby.
376
00:15:22,227 --> 00:15:25,929
This is it,
so keep on truckin'.
377
00:15:27,265 --> 00:15:29,368
That is a precious gift.
Thank you.
378
00:15:29,769 --> 00:15:32,469
You know,
would you like one thousand dollars?
379
00:15:34,603 --> 00:15:36,538
Hey, guys. How are my three
favorite ladies doing?
380
00:15:36,572 --> 00:15:37,705
- : Hey.
- Hi.
381
00:15:37,739 --> 00:15:39,140
How's it going?
382
00:15:39,174 --> 00:15:41,041
Well, I think your mom's
having a good time.
383
00:15:41,076 --> 00:15:42,743
And we're up a grand.
384
00:15:42,777 --> 00:15:44,878
Darling, I just can't --
385
00:15:44,913 --> 00:15:47,514
I cannot tell you
how much fun I'm having.
386
00:15:47,548 --> 00:15:49,984
Well, good, Mom.
I'm glad.
387
00:15:50,018 --> 00:15:52,320
And, as a matter of fact,
your girlfriend
388
00:15:52,355 --> 00:15:54,722
has given me the --
ahem -- the courage
389
00:15:54,757 --> 00:15:56,724
to do something that I have
been wanting to do
390
00:15:56,758 --> 00:15:59,260
for a very long time.
391
00:15:59,294 --> 00:16:01,061
Well, that's great.
What?
392
00:16:01,095 --> 00:16:03,630
I'm not going back
to your father.
393
00:16:05,199 --> 00:16:08,033
Opah!
394
00:16:09,702 --> 00:16:11,670
Opah?
395
00:16:18,775 --> 00:16:21,909
Never should have taken you
to that Greek restaurant.
396
00:16:21,943 --> 00:16:24,911
It was too dangerous
for you.
397
00:16:24,945 --> 00:16:27,580
But you're broken now,
so you're nothing more to me
398
00:16:27,615 --> 00:16:29,415
than a worthless piece
of plastic,
399
00:16:29,449 --> 00:16:31,916
and I hate you!
400
00:16:38,955 --> 00:16:40,555
Hey, Gary.
401
00:16:40,590 --> 00:16:41,822
Hello, Holly.
402
00:16:41,857 --> 00:16:43,023
I received your message
and I'm here,
403
00:16:43,058 --> 00:16:44,558
just as I said I'd be,
404
00:16:44,592 --> 00:16:46,259
because, Holly, when I
promise you something --
405
00:16:46,293 --> 00:16:47,693
Cut it out.
406
00:16:47,727 --> 00:16:49,094
Come on in.
407
00:16:49,128 --> 00:16:50,495
What do you want?
408
00:16:51,796 --> 00:16:54,530
Well, I've been
thinking about it,
409
00:16:54,565 --> 00:16:56,532
and I've come
to the conclusion
410
00:16:56,566 --> 00:16:58,533
that our friendship
means more to me
411
00:16:58,567 --> 00:17:01,068
than some iBop.
412
00:17:01,102 --> 00:17:02,569
And so?
413
00:17:04,472 --> 00:17:06,505
Here.
414
00:17:08,308 --> 00:17:10,042
You're giving it to me?
415
00:17:10,076 --> 00:17:11,444
I searched my soul,
416
00:17:11,478 --> 00:17:13,712
and it's the decent,
moral thing to do.
417
00:17:13,747 --> 00:17:15,280
Thank you.
418
00:17:15,315 --> 00:17:18,116
I knew, given time,
you'd come around.
419
00:17:18,151 --> 00:17:20,952
Gary got an iBop.
420
00:17:22,488 --> 00:17:23,688
All right.
421
00:17:26,491 --> 00:17:27,658
Hmm.
422
00:17:27,692 --> 00:17:28,791
What?
423
00:17:28,826 --> 00:17:30,793
Well, it's not working.
424
00:17:30,827 --> 00:17:33,462
What?!
425
00:17:33,496 --> 00:17:36,230
It was just working
a minute ago!
426
00:17:36,264 --> 00:17:39,133
Well, I am going to write
a strongly worded letter
427
00:17:39,167 --> 00:17:41,635
to the home office!
428
00:17:41,669 --> 00:17:43,904
Oh, the hold button
was flipped.
429
00:17:43,938 --> 00:17:45,905
It works.
430
00:17:45,939 --> 00:17:48,640
What?
431
00:17:48,674 --> 00:17:50,641
Yeah. Right here
on the side, see?
432
00:17:50,675 --> 00:17:52,976
I can see
how you'd miss it.
433
00:17:53,010 --> 00:17:56,145
I guess so.
It's so frickin' tiny!
434
00:17:56,180 --> 00:17:57,681
Ha ha!
435
00:17:57,715 --> 00:17:58,949
Whoo!
436
00:18:02,019 --> 00:18:04,120
Gary?
437
00:18:04,155 --> 00:18:06,590
Gary!
438
00:18:06,624 --> 00:18:07,758
Hmm?
439
00:18:07,793 --> 00:18:11,328
Look, I just want
to say I'm sorry
440
00:18:11,362 --> 00:18:13,495
about how this
all happened.
441
00:18:13,529 --> 00:18:16,164
I was pretty selfish,
and we shouldn't fight
442
00:18:16,199 --> 00:18:19,168
over some stupid
modern musical marvel.
443
00:18:19,202 --> 00:18:22,171
Ha ha.
444
00:18:22,205 --> 00:18:24,006
I'm glad you have it now.
445
00:18:24,040 --> 00:18:26,207
You know, I don't really
feel right about it either.
446
00:18:26,241 --> 00:18:28,175
I mean, I kind of misled you
about how cool it is,
447
00:18:28,209 --> 00:18:30,110
and you were the 100th
person in line.
448
00:18:30,144 --> 00:18:31,811
Yeah, baby.
Hand it over!
449
00:18:31,845 --> 00:18:33,345
Ha ha ha ha!
450
00:18:33,380 --> 00:18:34,979
Yeah, see?
Now that's good.
451
00:18:35,014 --> 00:18:36,781
I miss the whole
kidding around thing.
452
00:18:36,815 --> 00:18:38,115
Ha ha!
453
00:18:38,150 --> 00:18:39,617
Hey, how about this?
454
00:18:39,652 --> 00:18:41,119
We can share it.
You know?
455
00:18:41,154 --> 00:18:42,655
We can trade off weeks.
456
00:18:42,690 --> 00:18:45,025
It'll be like
a joint custody thing.
457
00:18:45,059 --> 00:18:48,127
I just want what's best
for iBop.
458
00:18:48,161 --> 00:18:49,628
Right.
459
00:18:49,662 --> 00:18:51,696
And I think the iBop needs
a strong male role model.
460
00:18:51,731 --> 00:18:53,131
See you in a week.
461
00:18:54,400 --> 00:18:55,633
Okay.
462
00:18:55,668 --> 00:18:57,035
Be safe now.
463
00:19:02,913 --> 00:19:05,416
It's so quiet now.
464
00:19:08,919 --> 00:19:10,553
Hey, you're finally up.
465
00:19:10,587 --> 00:19:12,220
You were great last night.
466
00:19:12,255 --> 00:19:14,389
You were fun,
spontaneous.
467
00:19:14,423 --> 00:19:16,223
How's this
for spontaneous?
468
00:19:16,258 --> 00:19:18,559
When I got home, I didn't
plan on throwing up,
469
00:19:18,593 --> 00:19:22,262
but then all of a sudden,
bam, I did.
470
00:19:22,296 --> 00:19:24,831
Hey, guys.
471
00:19:24,865 --> 00:19:27,066
Hey, listen,
I'm really sorry
472
00:19:27,100 --> 00:19:29,068
about what happened
with your parents.
473
00:19:29,102 --> 00:19:31,103
I know
what you're going through.
474
00:19:31,137 --> 00:19:35,706
I, too, have recently
suffered a loss.
475
00:19:39,810 --> 00:19:41,110
Hi.
476
00:19:41,144 --> 00:19:43,011
Get your mom
off to the airport okay?
477
00:19:43,046 --> 00:19:44,012
Yeah.
478
00:19:44,047 --> 00:19:45,013
Is she all right?
479
00:19:45,047 --> 00:19:46,314
Oh, she's fine.
480
00:19:46,349 --> 00:19:48,416
I'm the one
who's a little confused.
481
00:19:48,451 --> 00:19:50,752
I mean, my parents have been
married for 30 years.
482
00:19:50,786 --> 00:19:52,586
Then she goes out
with you,
483
00:19:52,621 --> 00:19:55,522
and suddenly
no more mommy and daddy.
484
00:19:55,557 --> 00:19:58,091
Jeff, I'm so sorry
about what happened,
485
00:19:58,125 --> 00:20:00,593
but you can't honestly think
that last night
486
00:20:00,628 --> 00:20:02,895
had anything to do with
your parents breaking up.
487
00:20:02,930 --> 00:20:04,463
Oh, no, I know, I know.
488
00:20:04,498 --> 00:20:06,432
She explained to me
on the way to the airport
489
00:20:06,466 --> 00:20:08,366
what's been going on
with her and my dad.
490
00:20:08,401 --> 00:20:10,168
She said
that because of him,
491
00:20:10,202 --> 00:20:11,936
she hasn't been able to be
herself in over 20 years.
492
00:20:11,970 --> 00:20:13,871
I mean,
why would she do that?
493
00:20:13,905 --> 00:20:16,940
Well, maybe --
maybe she did it for him.
494
00:20:16,974 --> 00:20:19,111
Maybe she thought
making your dad happy
495
00:20:19,145 --> 00:20:21,113
was more important
than making herself happy.
496
00:20:21,147 --> 00:20:23,114
That happens in couples
sometimes
497
00:20:23,149 --> 00:20:27,652
when one person tries
to change the other person.
498
00:20:27,686 --> 00:20:30,087
We're going to have
a relationship talk, aren't we?
499
00:20:30,121 --> 00:20:31,621
No.
500
00:20:31,656 --> 00:20:33,756
You're going through
enough right now.
501
00:20:33,791 --> 00:20:35,591
The last thing
you need to hear from me
502
00:20:35,626 --> 00:20:37,459
is what I believe
is a huge problem
503
00:20:37,493 --> 00:20:39,060
in our relationship.
504
00:20:39,094 --> 00:20:40,628
Okay, go.
505
00:20:43,665 --> 00:20:46,667
I know you want me to be
a more spontaneous person,
506
00:20:46,701 --> 00:20:49,136
but that is not
who I am.
507
00:20:49,170 --> 00:20:52,805
I like planning.
Planning is fun.
508
00:20:52,840 --> 00:20:54,307
It's just not me,
509
00:20:54,341 --> 00:20:56,308
and I want you
to be happy,
510
00:20:56,343 --> 00:21:00,612
but I can't change
who I am for you.
511
00:21:00,646 --> 00:21:02,813
I'm really sorry
about your mom and dad.
512
00:21:02,848 --> 00:21:04,815
Yeah.
513
00:21:04,849 --> 00:21:07,651
I think I know a way
I can make you feel better.
514
00:21:07,685 --> 00:21:09,252
How?
515
00:21:09,286 --> 00:21:11,387
You ever fool around with
a hung-over cheerleader?
516
00:21:12,523 --> 00:21:13,823
Yeah.
517
00:21:13,857 --> 00:21:15,925
Melinda Hage. Mm.
518
00:21:15,959 --> 00:21:19,327
Uh, but she didn't want
to cuddle afterwards,
519
00:21:19,362 --> 00:21:21,596
so obviously I found
the whole thing sickening.
520
00:21:21,630 --> 00:21:23,131
Ha ha.
521
00:21:23,165 --> 00:21:24,432
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