Original subtitles

Oh, my God, it's him -- it's that guy Evan. Look.

No, no, no, no, don't look.

He's so cute. Don't you think he's cute?

He's okay,

but I can't be completely sure until I check out his butt.

Why does he keep doing this to me?

Doing what?

Coming in here, buying copies,

making me love him.

So go and talk to him.

Tell him you think he's cute.

- Really? - Yeah, be honest.

Be real. Be you.

And maybe take it down a button.

Nice.

Cool.

Cool.

Cool.

I hate that guy.

Ha ha ha. Yeah, that guy sucks.

So, listen, I just came over here to tell you

that I think you're...

cell phone is the same as mine.

Whoa. Small world.

Small cell phone.

Hey, yeah. Go science.

Um, so, uh, I really like your ring tone,

and I was thinking maybe you could program mine.

You like the Notre Dame football fight song?

Like it? I'd like to make out with it.

What?

I just mean

that football is, like, my favorite sport of all time,

and, um, Notre Dame is my favorite college.

Go Hunchbacks!

There you go.

Thanks.

All right. Later.

Okay.

I love you.

So, did you steal his heart?

Better. I stole his phone.

Sync by chocomoon www.addic7ed.com

So, all alone in the apartment.

Yep.

What do you want to do?

Sweetie, I don't know what time Holly gets home from work.

I got her schedule right here.

She gets off at 5:30.

That's only half an hour.

Or it's a whole half an hour.

I'll even let you decide

what to do with the extra 22 minutes.

I really think we should wait

until Holly goes out tonight.

All right.

What are we going to do to get our minds off it?

I know. Scrabble. You love Scrabble.

No, you love Scrabble. I love Snapple.

See, it's that subtle difference.

Besides, you just want to play

'cause you always win.

I don't always win.

If you tried a different strategy,

you might do better.

I mean, "poop" may make you laugh,

but it's not a lot of points.

"Poop." Ha ha.

I only play that way to make the game more fun.

And admit it --

you only want to play 'cause you always win.

That is not true.

I just really like to spell for points.

And if I take your ass to school, that's just gravy.

All right, Evan should be home by now.

Ooh, it's ringing.

Man, I can't believe you stole his phone.

It'll be a cute story to tell our grandchildren.

God, are you dead inside?

Hi, is this Evan?

Yeah, who's this?

Um, this is Holly, the hunchback girl.

Oh, yeah.

Hey, hey, I think when I programmed your phone,

I might have picked up yours and you picked up mine.

Oh, ha ha ha. Is that how it happened?

How cute is that story?

Yeah, so we need to meet to exchange phones.

He wants to meet to exchange phones. What should I do?

- Meet him. - Shut up. I know what to do.

Um, so, uh, where do you want to meet?

Well, I'm kind of busy right now,

but I'm just off campus if you want to roll by tonight.

He totally asked me out!

Yeah, I'm having a big party, so just follow the noise.

He asked me to a college party!

- A college party? - Shut up!

Uh...

where and when?

And what should I wear?

You are not wearing anything.

Ooh, it's one of those kind of parties?

You are not going with me, okay?

Okay.

Yeah, yeah, I know where that is.

Okay, I'll see you tonight. Bye.

Holly, I'm sorry, but there is no way you're going

to some strange college guy's party without me.

I do not need you to babysit me.

I am mature enough to handle this.

- Are not. - Am too.

Give me that paper.

Yes! Look at that.

I got warts.

I've never seen somebody get so lucky in one game.

Don't be like that, sweetie.

I was happy for you when you got rabies.

Um, okay, bye, guys.

Wow, where are you going?

She's going to a party.

Oh, stupid vowels. They're like a disease.

What kind of party?

Uh, a school party.

People from school. Bye.

Bye. Have fun. Be careful.

Can't do both.

Split the difference.

"Aarg"?

Yeah.

It's pirate talk. It means hello.

Like "Aarg, matey. Grr."

Please?

Sorry.

Looks like someone's getting desperate

now that she's behind by 62 points. Ha ha.

62?

You know, now that Holly's gone,

we could do something else.

No, no, no, no, no. We're playing.

You just want to have sex 'cause I got warts.

Can I see some I.D.?

Ha ha ha! I'm kidding. I know who you are.

What are you doing here?

Rethinking my study habits.

I have got to go to college.

Gary, get out of here! I don't show up

at Chuck E. Cheese and ruin your dates.

Look, I was just worried

about what you were getting yourself into.

I wanted to check it out.

Thanks, Gary. Now leave before I hurt you.

No, no, no. I'm going to stay.

But don't worry. You won't even notice me.

Whoa, look out now!

That is one college-sized sandwich.

Oh, look, there's Evan.

Why, hello there.

I couldn't help but notice

we're both 6 feet and delicious.

Hey, Evan.

Hey.

Aren't you my copy girl?

Yeah -- Holly. Got your phone.

- All right. Thank you. - Sure.

Hey, you know what I forgot when we were at the copy place?

What?

To hit on you. You're smokin'.

Evan, did you switch phones with me on purpose?

Yeah.

So, uh, you live on campus?

Oh, no, actually, I don't.

I share an apartment with my sister.

Oh, from your sorority?

Yeah, yeah, from my sorority.

I bet you're a Delta.

They have all the hot girls.

Guilty.

Dude, dude, there's two guys

with sledgehammers in your bedroom, bro.

Oh, it's Kurt and Joe! It is so on!

Look, I'll be right back.

You hang out, get a drink, just -- just chill.

Cool. Yeah. I'll just chill.

You told him you were in a sorority?

He's never going to like me if he knows I'm in high school,

and I don't need you here looking out for me.

Now, if you'll excuse me, Evan's going to be back soon,

and I have not yet begun to chill.

Okay. I'm watching you.

Hot wing?

No.

Well, are you okay?

My boyfriend just broke up with me.

Well, you know, I'm a pretty good listener

if you want to talk about it.

Look, dry those pretty eyes

and tell Gary all about it.

Oh, that's right, that's right.

Let it out, let it out.

No, there's hot sauce on the napkin!

B-o-o-b-i-e-s.

Boobies.

On a triple word score.

Whoo-hoo! It's funny and I win.

Not so fast. I challenge.

You challenge boobies?

Why don't we see

what the Scrabble dictionary has to say, hmm?

Ha!

It's not in here.

Well, b-o-o-b-y is.

"A person regarded as stupid."

"see plural -- boobies."

Oh, my God, I won. Ha ha!

I beat you at Scrabble! Ha ha!

It's a Cinderella story.

Fine, Cinderella, you win.

Congratulations.

You know what this means, right?

Boobies?

Rematch.

Then boobies?

Hey, hey, hey, if you're going to smoke,

you got to go outside.

- Oh, no, no, no, I'm not smoking. - Yes, you are.

You want to dance?

Yeah, sure, I'd love to.

I don't know, Stephanie. Teri makes a good point.

You've got to stop dating emotionally unavailable men.

You are phenomenal.

It's like you can see right through me.

Ha ha ha ha. Yes.

And, Becka, you are filled with so much love.

Why is none of it for yourself?

Uh, and, Angela,

I know your self-esteem is kind of low right now,

but I did ask for pickles.

Ugh, there he is, out on the dance floor.

I can't even look at him.

What, he's here? The man that turned you

into a bitter, loveless shell of a beautiful woman?

Point him out to me.

There -- Evan.

Dancing with his next victim.

And I guarantee you,

as soon as he gets what he wants,

he'll dump her, too.

Ow!

What happened?

I think someone just hit me with a pickle.

Wow.

I haven't felt like this in a long time.

You're very special, Holly.

- Wow, that's really... - Holly. Holly, Holly.

Really sweet.

Can you just excuse me for just one second?

I'll get us some drinks.

Okay.

What?

I've just heard something about Evan.

He's bad. He's a dog.

He's a bad dog gone bad.

If you keep talking trash about my future husband,

then you will not be welcome

at our summer home in Paris, France.

Holly, I'm serious, all right?

I'm doing this for your own good.

If you don't listen, I'll tell him you're still in high school.

Then I'll tell the girls that you've been hitting on

that you're still in high school.

No, no, you can't do that.

Becka's just starting to trust men again.

Do not ruin this for me.

Well, I don't have to. That big hunk of spinach dip

in your teeth will do it for you.

Dude.

Dude.

Great party.

Yeah, it's on, isn't it?

Yeah.

So, uh, that girl you were dancing with.

Oh, yeah, Holly.

Yeah, I've been crunching the numbers.

I'm about to close the deal.

Just one problem, dude --

she's my lady.

Du-u-u-ude.

Dude.

Dude, I'm sorry.

I mean, she's all over me.

Oh, I'm not saying we're not going through a rough time.

See, she's trying to make me jealous,

and it's working, which is bad,

'cause when I get jealous,

I get crazy jealous.

Watching you.

Whoo-hoo! Yeah!

18 points. Tie score.

I hope you enjoyed your last two wins,

'cause the reign of Jeff is over.

This is fun.

Crybabies do not get boobies.

Your turn.

Whoa.

Whoa? What whoa?

Nothing.

Hello?

Yeah, all right, tell them -- tell them I'll be right there.

I got to shoot down to the restaurant.

I'll be back in a few minutes.

You better hurry up,

'cause you are mine, Scrabble boy.

Ooh, I like that.

Save some of that for later.

Aah! Oh.

Sorry. Forgot my wallet.

Yeah, I was like, "Aah! Jeff forgot his wallet."

Oh, there it is. Got it.

Good.

Bye-bye.

Bye.

Enyzmes.

Poop!

Hey, there you are.

I knew I should have

been looking for you in the "smokin'" section.

Because remember, earlier, we did that thing?

Look...

I know I don't really seem like it,

but I'm kind of a high-stress individual,

and your boyfriend is going to give me a panic attack.

What boyfriend?

That dude

that's been whaling on the sandwich all night.

No, no, no!

No, that guy is not my boyfriend.

Okay, I know you guys are having problems,

and I don't want to get in the middle of it, okay?

Evan, no, wait.

You told him you were my boyfriend?!

Why would you do that?

Because you won't listen to me, and you're in over your head.

No, I am not! Now Evan won't even talk to me.

Hey, you know that he's still in high school, right?

Yeah, he told me.

Preemptive move. Tell me I'm not college material.

Okay.

I'm back. Hee hee hee.

You ready to play?

Whatever. Let's get this over with.

M-e spells me. That's 4 points.

What are you doing?

What? I spelled me.

It's in the dictionary. It means Jeff.

Don't do that.

What?

You're letting me win.

You have enzymes. That's worth, like, 150 points.

How did you know I had enzymes?

You cheated.

Yeah, I didn't want to. I fought it.

I fought it with every fiber of my being,

but it beat me.

Why would you cheat at Scrabble?

Because I'm sick.

Help me!

Oh, baby.

Oh.

I'm so ashamed!

No, don't be ashamed. This is great.

What's great?

You have flaws. You're not perfect.

You thought I was perfect?

Yeah. It was scary.

But I love this.

It's like we're at the point in our relationship

where we can just be ourselves.

You're my little overcompetitive Scrabble cheater.

Oh.

That does sound kind of nice.

Sure it does.

You know, a very wise man once said,

"It's important to find out what happens

when people stop being polite and start getting real."

That's the intro on "The Real World."

All the more reason to trust it.

: Ha ha ha ha.

Hey, there's no smoking in the bathroom, Angela.

Oh, my God!

Evan, what the hell are you doing?

I'm chillin' with Angela.

15 minutes ago, you were chillin' with me.

I expect from now on

you will be getting your copies elsewhere.

Somebody open up! The door is stuck!

Help!

Hey, dude.

Hey, sandwich guy.

Have you seen Holly --

cute girl, dancing with Evan earlier?

I don't know.

I just saw Evan go into the bathroom with some girl.

To the bathroom?

He calls it his deal closing room.

Ha ha ha ha.

I don't know why.

Excuse me, excuse me, excuse me.

Holly! Holly, are you in there?

Yes! The door's stuck! Help!

Okay, listen. Back away from the door.

Okay.

Okay, back away again,

and see if they got some Advil.

: Wow, I haven't felt like this in a long time.

He has so.

He felt that way at 9:45!

Hey, thanks, man. Here you go.

Are you okay?

Yes, thank you so much.

Where's Evan?

He's in the shower with Angela.

- What? - Yeah, you were so right about him.

Let's just get out of here.

- All right, come on. - Wait, I can't go.

I have a huge rip in my pants.

Walk tall, Holly.

Walk tall and proud...

and fast.

Hey, we could play something else.

How about a little poker?

I don't know if I'm up for any more games tonight.

I'm pretty sure you'll like this one a lot.

There's two things you need to know --

socks count as one item,

and I'm really bad at poker.

Okay, okay, I promise.

Last time. Just say it again.

You were right about Evan.

You're a good friend, and I'm glad you were there.

Now, you see, hearing that just warms my heart,

which warms my legs.

Next time, trust me.

I can take care of myself, okay?

Okay,

as long as you take your dates to Chuck E. Cheese,

where there's proper supervision.

Deal.

Sure you're okay?

I'm fine.

See you tomorrow.

- Bye, Gary. - Good night.

Hey, how was the party?

And by that, I mean those aren't your pants.

Are we still playing cards?

Yeah, they're in my bedroom.

Sweet.

You want the truth?

That would be great.

Well, it was kind of a disaster

because it was a college party,

and the guy I liked turned out to be a jerk,

and then I ended up in the bathroom

with him and another girl, and I ripped my pants,

and then Gary saved the day. Good night.

Stop.

What?

- College party? - Didn't drink.

- Guy in the bathroom? - Nothing happened.

- Whose pants? - Gary's.

We'll talk in the morning.

- Stop. - What?

Cards in the bedroom?

Go to sleep.

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