Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:18,800 --> 00:00:20,480
Not bad.
2
00:00:20,480 --> 00:00:24,480
For a newb.
3
00:00:25,720 --> 00:00:29,720
Cheat!
4
00:00:31,640 --> 00:00:33,560
You're a stuck pig, lad.
5
00:00:33,560 --> 00:00:34,600
Rude.
6
00:00:34,600 --> 00:00:36,040
Come on.
7
00:00:36,040 --> 00:00:38,880
On your feet.
8
00:00:38,880 --> 00:00:42,240
Look, am I here for a reason?
9
00:00:42,240 --> 00:00:44,360
As you know...
10
00:00:44,360 --> 00:00:46,240
..I am your spirit guide.
11
00:00:46,240 --> 00:00:48,840
And although the ancient laws
prohibit Sean Bean
12
00:00:48,840 --> 00:00:52,840
from interfering
in the affairs of men...
13
00:00:53,080 --> 00:00:55,720
..I've laid on a treat for you.
14
00:00:55,720 --> 00:00:58,160
Call it an early birthday present.
15
00:00:58,160 --> 00:01:00,160
Are we going to Comic-Con together?
16
00:01:00,160 --> 00:01:02,800
I'm not going to Comic-Con,
we'll get fucking mobbed!
17
00:01:02,800 --> 00:01:04,560
No.
18
00:01:04,560 --> 00:01:07,120
It's time you took a wench
to the barn.
19
00:01:07,120 --> 00:01:08,280
Sorry, what?
20
00:01:08,280 --> 00:01:10,400
You know, put your custard
in the pudding.
21
00:01:10,400 --> 00:01:11,680
Stew your mutton.
22
00:01:11,680 --> 00:01:15,600
Are these metaphors?
23
00:01:15,600 --> 00:01:17,960
Pounce a peacock. Right,
you're just saying words now.
24
00:01:17,960 --> 00:01:19,800
Look...
25
00:01:19,800 --> 00:01:21,880
it's time you lost
your virginity, lad.
26
00:01:21,880 --> 00:01:25,880
I had sex with Angelique
on my French exchange.
27
00:01:30,640 --> 00:01:33,040
Sheathe your sword.
28
00:01:33,040 --> 00:01:34,560
Right, there you go again.
29
00:01:34,560 --> 00:01:38,080
I mean, do you mean that literally,
or is that another dig?
30
00:01:38,080 --> 00:01:42,080
I don't know - both.
31
00:01:55,200 --> 00:01:58,080
Oh, Skyscanner's got
a flight to South Korea.
32
00:01:58,080 --> 00:01:59,640
Is that the dictator one?
33
00:01:59,640 --> 00:02:00,760
Gangnam Style one.
34
00:02:00,760 --> 00:02:02,640
Oh, I like that video.
35
00:02:02,640 --> 00:02:04,320
Maybe I'll go to South Korea.
36
00:02:04,320 --> 00:02:05,840
You think you'll make it, though?
37
00:02:05,840 --> 00:02:08,360
I mean, you didn't make it
to India. Or London.
38
00:02:08,360 --> 00:02:10,960
Or the Co-op.
39
00:02:10,960 --> 00:02:14,640
So, I was supposed to go to
this sex party with a holy man
40
00:02:14,640 --> 00:02:16,440
and this girl we met on Snapchat,
41
00:02:16,440 --> 00:02:18,320
but she can't make it
because she's pregnant
42
00:02:18,320 --> 00:02:20,360
and she doesn't want to
run into any of the "dads",
43
00:02:20,360 --> 00:02:23,600
so there's a spare ticket
and we thought...
44
00:02:23,600 --> 00:02:26,280
Morph, early birthday present?
45
00:02:26,280 --> 00:02:27,520
ANGELIC CHORUS
46
00:02:27,520 --> 00:02:30,000
Early birthday present.
Good way to lose your V plates.
47
00:02:30,000 --> 00:02:32,680
Alison - Angelique, French exchange.
48
00:02:32,680 --> 00:02:34,720
Right, so we're all still...
49
00:02:34,720 --> 00:02:35,760
That's still open?
50
00:02:35,760 --> 00:02:39,760
I will come to this party to
continue my adult sexual adventure.
51
00:02:40,360 --> 00:02:41,400
Sorted.
52
00:02:41,400 --> 00:02:42,960
So what is this sex party?
53
00:02:42,960 --> 00:02:45,720
Big mansion, guest-list only,
anyone can have sex with anyone.
54
00:02:45,720 --> 00:02:47,440
Anyone? Anyone.
55
00:02:47,440 --> 00:02:49,680
ANGELIC CHORUS
56
00:02:49,680 --> 00:02:50,920
I would have invited everyone,
57
00:02:50,920 --> 00:02:53,240
but obviously thought
that would be weird for...
58
00:02:53,240 --> 00:02:57,240
Pfft! Pfft! Pfft! Pfft! Pfft!
59
00:02:57,560 --> 00:02:59,560
THEY GUFFAW
60
00:02:59,560 --> 00:03:00,960
Why would that be weird?
61
00:03:00,960 --> 00:03:02,400
Well, because, you two...
62
00:03:02,400 --> 00:03:03,600
Yeah, but it didn't mean anything.
63
00:03:03,600 --> 00:03:05,520
And Kent went straight
to Bristol after, so...
64
00:03:05,520 --> 00:03:09,520
Yeah, and Sarah didn't even stop me,
or try and call me for a year, so...
65
00:03:11,880 --> 00:03:14,800
OK, so, not weird at all.
66
00:03:14,800 --> 00:03:16,680
Might be weird for him.
Might be weird for her.
67
00:03:16,680 --> 00:03:18,960
OK, I'll get the holy man
to put you on the guest list.
68
00:03:18,960 --> 00:03:22,960
Here's a picture of Angelique.
69
00:03:23,600 --> 00:03:24,920
That's just an image search.
70
00:03:24,920 --> 00:03:28,920
For sexy French girl.
Yeah, and she came up first, so...
71
00:03:29,040 --> 00:03:30,200
Gorgeous.
72
00:03:30,200 --> 00:03:31,440
Yeah.
73
00:03:31,440 --> 00:03:35,440
So, what do we wear
to a sex party anyway?
74
00:04:05,240 --> 00:04:07,880
Fucking hell!
75
00:04:07,880 --> 00:04:10,520
OK. Next stop, sex party!
76
00:04:10,520 --> 00:04:12,840
Before we set off - ground rules.
77
00:04:12,840 --> 00:04:14,680
What, like no kissing on the mouth?
78
00:04:14,680 --> 00:04:15,920
Mate, it's not Pretty Woman.
79
00:04:15,920 --> 00:04:18,280
Oh, so you have seen
Pretty Woman, Kent? Fuck!
80
00:04:18,280 --> 00:04:20,600
How about, between us,
no direct contact?
81
00:04:20,600 --> 00:04:23,120
Let's say indirect contact only.
82
00:04:23,120 --> 00:04:24,840
Like contact through another person.
83
00:04:24,840 --> 00:04:26,320
Shall we say two people?
84
00:04:26,320 --> 00:04:28,920
Yeah. That seems logical, yeah.
85
00:04:28,920 --> 00:04:32,160
And whatever happens in there,
we never talk about it again, ever.
86
00:04:32,160 --> 00:04:33,560
Like if someone walks in,
87
00:04:33,560 --> 00:04:36,040
and I'm wearing a strap-on
pegging some dude,
88
00:04:36,040 --> 00:04:39,120
you can't rag on me
about it for ever.
89
00:04:39,120 --> 00:04:40,760
You're into pegging?
90
00:04:40,760 --> 00:04:42,640
No, I was just using that
as an example.
91
00:04:42,640 --> 00:04:44,320
It came to you pretty quick,
though, didn't it?
92
00:04:44,320 --> 00:04:47,440
Oh, I've got one.
I don't want to see anyone's O face.
93
00:04:47,440 --> 00:04:48,880
That goes without saying.
94
00:04:48,880 --> 00:04:51,880
What if it happens
by accident, Alison? Erm...
95
00:04:51,880 --> 00:04:54,280
Right, another rule -
you and me, never in the same room.
96
00:04:54,280 --> 00:04:57,480
If I were you...
97
00:04:57,480 --> 00:05:01,480
..I'd steer clear of room 42.
98
00:05:01,920 --> 00:05:05,720
Why? What happens in room 42?
99
00:05:05,720 --> 00:05:09,720
You come face-to-face with
who you really are.
100
00:05:25,240 --> 00:05:27,440
Condoms.
101
00:05:27,440 --> 00:05:28,680
Femidoms.
102
00:05:28,680 --> 00:05:31,040
Covering all the angles.
103
00:05:31,040 --> 00:05:33,160
Protein bars. For recovery.
104
00:05:33,160 --> 00:05:37,160
Verruca sock?
In case there's a wet room.
105
00:05:37,840 --> 00:05:39,000
Four cans of energy drink.
106
00:05:39,000 --> 00:05:41,280
I don't know how long
it's going to be.
107
00:05:41,280 --> 00:05:45,280
Sudoku? There might be
a waiting area.
108
00:05:48,040 --> 00:05:52,040
Why do you have a knife?
For the, er, oysters.
109
00:05:56,280 --> 00:05:58,040
Behave yourself.
110
00:05:58,040 --> 00:06:02,040
Fine.
111
00:06:02,480 --> 00:06:04,080
This is just his ticket
printed out again.
112
00:06:04,080 --> 00:06:06,160
Oh, what, does that not work...?
113
00:06:06,160 --> 00:06:07,960
Of course that doesn't fucking work!
114
00:06:07,960 --> 00:06:09,520
For fuck's sake!
115
00:06:09,520 --> 00:06:13,000
I was really looking forward to
having sex with all them strangers.
116
00:06:13,000 --> 00:06:14,440
Not as much as I was.
117
00:06:14,440 --> 00:06:16,000
Or with as many of them.
118
00:06:16,000 --> 00:06:18,600
I'll handle this. Hey, let them in.
119
00:06:18,600 --> 00:06:22,080
I'm not going into a sex party
without my sister.
120
00:06:22,080 --> 00:06:26,080
Mate, just go in. This is weird.
121
00:06:32,360 --> 00:06:34,400
Well, I bet you're bloody relieved.
122
00:06:34,400 --> 00:06:35,840
What are you talking about?
123
00:06:35,840 --> 00:06:38,120
Well, it works out well
for you, doesn't it?
124
00:06:38,120 --> 00:06:39,880
You get to say
you're going to do something
125
00:06:39,880 --> 00:06:41,200
and then don't actually do it.
126
00:06:41,200 --> 00:06:42,840
Like...
127
00:06:42,840 --> 00:06:44,280
India.
128
00:06:44,280 --> 00:06:47,160
Kent, India and group sex
are completely different.
129
00:06:47,160 --> 00:06:49,040
Not according to my uncle.
130
00:06:49,040 --> 00:06:50,160
If I'd have gone in there,
131
00:06:50,160 --> 00:06:52,440
I would have had the biggest
fucking orgy of my life,
132
00:06:52,440 --> 00:06:53,640
and you'd have bottled it.
133
00:06:53,640 --> 00:06:55,600
No, I would have marched right
into the middle of that orgy
134
00:06:55,600 --> 00:06:57,520
and fucking nailed it. Ha!
135
00:06:57,520 --> 00:06:59,480
Bullshit!
Kent, what do you want me to do,
136
00:06:59,480 --> 00:07:03,480
you want me to break in
and prove it?
137
00:07:11,680 --> 00:07:12,760
What are you doing?
138
00:07:12,760 --> 00:07:14,480
I'm wiping for fingerprints.
139
00:07:14,480 --> 00:07:16,480
What? In case the sex police come?
140
00:07:16,480 --> 00:07:19,760
Hello?
141
00:07:19,760 --> 00:07:21,880
Hello?
142
00:07:21,880 --> 00:07:25,880
I need some help,
can you let me out?
143
00:07:26,800 --> 00:07:29,800
Fucking hell!
144
00:07:29,800 --> 00:07:31,760
I think I've been forgotten about.
145
00:07:31,760 --> 00:07:34,360
Can you let me out?
146
00:07:34,360 --> 00:07:35,480
Yeah, sure.
147
00:07:35,480 --> 00:07:36,960
Don't fucking do it!
148
00:07:36,960 --> 00:07:39,080
Huh? It's part of the game.
149
00:07:39,080 --> 00:07:43,080
I'm pleading. All right, then, bye.
150
00:07:43,440 --> 00:07:45,920
That's it. Can you leave
the doors open, please?
151
00:07:45,920 --> 00:07:47,320
What are you fucking doing?
152
00:07:47,320 --> 00:07:51,320
Fuck's sake!
153
00:08:03,560 --> 00:08:05,040
OK, last chance to back out.
154
00:08:05,040 --> 00:08:06,760
I'm not backing out.
Unless you're backing out.
155
00:08:06,760 --> 00:08:07,840
I'm not backing out.
156
00:08:07,840 --> 00:08:09,160
Yeah, good, co I'm not either.
157
00:08:09,160 --> 00:08:11,800
I'm getting some sex.
Yeah, me too.
158
00:08:11,800 --> 00:08:15,800
(Good.)
159
00:08:22,160 --> 00:08:26,160
MUSIC: Return of the Mack
by Mark Morrison
160
00:08:43,360 --> 00:08:46,040
Oh, made it in, then?
161
00:08:46,040 --> 00:08:48,000
Is this it? Oh, no.
162
00:08:48,000 --> 00:09:00,000
There's also a buffet.
163
00:08:55,000 --> 00:08:59,000
MUSIC: Oh Carolina
by Shaggy
164
00:09:08,200 --> 00:09:10,840
Drummers are still warm.
165
00:09:10,840 --> 00:09:14,840
Oh, come on, mate, not in the dip.
166
00:09:15,680 --> 00:09:17,520
Where's holy man? Mingling.
167
00:09:17,520 --> 00:09:18,960
HE GRUNTS
168
00:09:18,960 --> 00:09:20,960
I barely see him at these things.
169
00:09:20,960 --> 00:09:24,920
He gets massive FOMO, so he works
out his timetable beforehand.
170
00:09:24,920 --> 00:09:27,200
I just meet him after for a Calippo.
171
00:09:27,200 --> 00:09:30,840
So, Morph, want to hit
the mattresses?
172
00:09:30,840 --> 00:09:33,800
Oh, right.
Is that what we're doing then?
173
00:09:33,800 --> 00:09:36,320
Well, that's why you're here,
isn't it?
174
00:09:36,320 --> 00:09:40,320
Listen, before we go
into that dimly lit area,
175
00:09:41,080 --> 00:09:42,880
I need to tell you something.
176
00:09:42,880 --> 00:09:46,240
It concerns my virginity,
and it may come as a bit of a shock.
177
00:09:46,240 --> 00:09:49,880
What, you have lost it?
No, I'm saying I haven't.
178
00:09:49,880 --> 00:09:52,000
No. No! Shut the front door!
179
00:09:52,000 --> 00:09:53,920
I did not expect that.
180
00:09:53,920 --> 00:09:56,760
Because it was
a very well constructed lie,
181
00:09:56,760 --> 00:09:59,320
and I'm sorry for deceiving you
so expertly.
182
00:09:59,320 --> 00:10:01,160
But what about Angelique?
183
00:10:01,160 --> 00:10:03,680
I'm sorry to say, I made her up.
184
00:10:03,680 --> 00:10:06,800
But what about all those e-mails
you've been showing us
185
00:10:06,800 --> 00:10:08,640
for the past eight years? Fake.
186
00:10:08,640 --> 00:10:12,360
I hoodwinked you all. But that
would mean you'd have to set up
187
00:10:12,360 --> 00:10:15,320
a fake e-mail address,
send yourself e-mails,
188
00:10:15,320 --> 00:10:19,320
then reply to yourself
over and over again for eight years.
189
00:10:19,960 --> 00:10:22,200
Which is why you were all
so convinced.
190
00:10:22,200 --> 00:10:24,200
And I feel bad about it.
191
00:10:24,200 --> 00:10:25,560
I don't think you need to, mate.
192
00:10:25,560 --> 00:10:26,800
The truth is...
193
00:10:26,800 --> 00:10:30,320
I've never given away my flower...
194
00:10:30,320 --> 00:10:34,320
..because I wanted my first time
to be with someone special.
195
00:10:35,800 --> 00:10:39,000
Maybe I can help with that.
196
00:10:39,000 --> 00:10:42,800
MUSIC: I Don't Want To Wait
by Paula Cole
197
00:10:42,800 --> 00:10:44,600
Cos everyone here
is really up for it.
198
00:10:44,600 --> 00:10:47,160
And they've already had
the menopause, so, low risk.
199
00:10:47,160 --> 00:10:51,000
Yeah, makes sense.
200
00:10:51,000 --> 00:10:52,160
Come on.
201
00:10:52,160 --> 00:10:55,160
CRACK
Take it, you dirty slag.
202
00:10:55,160 --> 00:10:57,360
GRUNTING
203
00:10:57,360 --> 00:11:01,360
Have it, you mucky bastard!
CRACK
204
00:11:02,040 --> 00:11:03,520
Would you like some of that?
205
00:11:03,520 --> 00:11:05,480
Oh, yes!
206
00:11:05,480 --> 00:11:09,480
I don't know, is there anything
a bit less...spanky. Not really.
207
00:11:10,440 --> 00:11:12,640
I don't really understand
the process.
208
00:11:12,640 --> 00:11:16,640
Do you have sex after the spanking,
or is the spanking, like, a test?
209
00:11:16,640 --> 00:11:18,200
You won't know unless you try.
210
00:11:18,200 --> 00:11:21,240
This is my virginity we're talking
about, not Dr Pepper!
211
00:11:21,240 --> 00:11:25,240
Get involved. All right.
212
00:11:25,360 --> 00:11:28,680
Er, excuse me.
213
00:11:28,680 --> 00:11:30,480
Is there a queue?
Or...or is it a number...
214
00:11:30,480 --> 00:11:34,480
You do exactly what I say, maggot.
215
00:11:34,520 --> 00:11:36,120
Mr Rogerson?
216
00:11:36,120 --> 00:11:38,720
Man alive, Paul Durkin?
217
00:11:38,720 --> 00:11:41,080
I haven't seen you since...
218
00:11:41,080 --> 00:11:42,640
GCSE geography.
219
00:11:42,640 --> 00:11:45,040
How are you?
220
00:11:45,040 --> 00:11:48,200
Yeah, good. I mean,
I feel a bit weird right now.
221
00:11:48,200 --> 00:11:52,200
I remember you did the best oxbow
lake coursework I've ever read.
222
00:11:52,680 --> 00:11:54,240
Oh, thank you, sir.
223
00:11:54,240 --> 00:11:57,840
I spent the whole summer on that, I
mean, I can't believe you remember.
224
00:11:57,840 --> 00:12:00,680
You don't forget when a boy hands in
a CD-ROM!
225
00:12:00,680 --> 00:12:02,120
So, you're still teaching?
226
00:12:02,120 --> 00:12:05,560
No, no, got into a bit of bother
with that.
227
00:12:05,560 --> 00:12:08,200
I'm a postman now.
228
00:12:08,200 --> 00:12:10,440
Right. You had a sister, didn't you?
229
00:12:10,440 --> 00:12:12,280
Very pretty. Is she here?
230
00:12:12,280 --> 00:12:14,320
She...died.
231
00:12:14,320 --> 00:12:16,080
CRACK, GROANING
232
00:12:16,080 --> 00:12:18,240
Don't look for her.
233
00:12:18,240 --> 00:12:21,560
Go, go, go!
234
00:12:21,560 --> 00:12:24,520
Have it, you dirty cow!
235
00:12:24,520 --> 00:12:26,800
So Mr Rogerson's a perv.
236
00:12:26,800 --> 00:12:30,160
Yep, turns out it's always the ones
you do suspect.
237
00:12:30,160 --> 00:12:32,640
Well, we can always try
the sploshing chamber.
238
00:12:32,640 --> 00:12:35,120
Alison, I don't think
this is working out.
239
00:12:35,120 --> 00:12:37,680
Excuse me. Can one of you untie me?
240
00:12:37,680 --> 00:12:40,880
Mate, we've heard about you. We know
you don't want us to untie you.
241
00:12:40,880 --> 00:12:43,200
I know I said that.
But that was an hour ago.
242
00:12:43,200 --> 00:12:45,240
It's really cutting off
my circulation.
243
00:12:45,240 --> 00:12:46,800
He's quite convincing, isn't he?
244
00:12:46,800 --> 00:12:48,360
You're overthinking this.
245
00:12:48,360 --> 00:12:50,120
We just need to get you shagged.
246
00:12:50,120 --> 00:12:52,240
No, this whole party isn't working
for me.
247
00:12:52,240 --> 00:12:55,280
I want...romance, some ceremony.
248
00:12:55,280 --> 00:12:57,040
I can't feel my balls.
249
00:12:57,040 --> 00:13:00,160
I don't think you're going to find
that here.
250
00:13:00,160 --> 00:13:02,160
I might do if I was with yo..
251
00:13:02,160 --> 00:13:03,240
Fucking hell!
252
00:13:03,240 --> 00:13:05,680
No, wait, I didn't mean...
Check out that lot.
253
00:13:05,680 --> 00:13:09,680
CHANTING MUSIC
254
00:13:16,040 --> 00:13:20,000
You're not going to get
much more ceremonious than that.
255
00:13:20,000 --> 00:13:21,720
Hmmm,
256
00:13:21,720 --> 00:13:24,840
it does look a bit less spanky.
257
00:13:24,840 --> 00:13:28,840
Go on. Enjoy yourself.
258
00:13:30,560 --> 00:13:34,560
See what they're up to.
259
00:13:38,120 --> 00:13:39,760
Please, help me.
260
00:13:39,760 --> 00:13:41,120
You need a safe word, mate.
261
00:13:41,120 --> 00:13:42,760
I have got a safe word, it's tomato.
262
00:13:42,760 --> 00:13:46,760
Tomato! All right, all right.
263
00:13:46,960 --> 00:13:49,200
What the fuck are you doing?
You said tomato.
264
00:13:49,200 --> 00:13:50,560
It's not the real safe word.
265
00:13:50,560 --> 00:13:52,160
Well, what's the real one?
266
00:13:52,160 --> 00:13:54,880
You'll never hear me say it.
267
00:13:54,880 --> 00:13:58,880
MUSIC: Turn Down for What
by DJ Snake & Lil Jon
268
00:14:04,000 --> 00:14:07,760
MOANING
269
00:14:07,760 --> 00:14:10,640
The drink tokens only cover
house white and Lilt,
270
00:14:10,640 --> 00:14:14,640
so I got two of each.
Oh, the old Yeovil martini.
271
00:14:15,160 --> 00:14:19,120
So...? We're just going to
neck these and then...
272
00:14:19,120 --> 00:14:23,120
..get on it. Yes.
273
00:14:23,720 --> 00:14:26,880
Do you reckon any younger people are
going to turn up? I really hope so.
274
00:14:26,880 --> 00:14:29,560
Hey. Where have you been?
275
00:14:29,560 --> 00:14:31,480
Room 39.
276
00:14:31,480 --> 00:14:35,480
MUSIC: Ironic
by Alanis Morissette
277
00:14:37,600 --> 00:14:39,160
All right, fucknots.
278
00:14:39,160 --> 00:14:42,240
Where's Morph? Did he find a room
full of imaginary French girls?
279
00:14:42,240 --> 00:14:44,480
No, he went in this weird room
upstairs
280
00:14:44,480 --> 00:14:47,000
with all these eyes wide shut peeps.
Oh, no.
281
00:14:47,000 --> 00:14:50,000
Room 42.
282
00:14:50,000 --> 00:14:54,000
CHANTING
283
00:15:00,000 --> 00:15:04,000
GONG STRIKES
284
00:15:13,280 --> 00:15:17,280
Hello.
285
00:15:25,000 --> 00:15:29,000
Fucking hell!
286
00:15:30,320 --> 00:15:34,320
Who are you? My name is Angelica.
287
00:15:34,360 --> 00:15:36,040
Kind of like a...
288
00:15:36,040 --> 00:15:37,520
English Angelique.
289
00:15:37,520 --> 00:15:38,760
Mm-hm.
290
00:15:38,760 --> 00:15:42,760
If it pleases.
291
00:15:43,320 --> 00:15:44,760
Sorry, we are in process.
292
00:15:44,760 --> 00:15:47,160
I can't let you in at this time.
293
00:15:47,160 --> 00:15:48,720
Or you, ever.
294
00:15:48,720 --> 00:15:52,400
Fair enough, yeah. Room 42 adheres
to a strict set of rules
295
00:15:52,400 --> 00:15:54,360
that we take very seriously.
296
00:15:54,360 --> 00:15:58,360
THEY SNIGGER
297
00:15:59,080 --> 00:16:01,760
Are you laughing at my...penis?
298
00:16:01,760 --> 00:16:05,760
No. No.
299
00:16:06,080 --> 00:16:10,080
What about my penis
do you find funny?
300
00:16:10,600 --> 00:16:14,600
I mean, it's disproportionately
large for your frame.
301
00:16:15,280 --> 00:16:18,320
It kind of waggles up and down
when you tell us off.
302
00:16:18,320 --> 00:16:19,920
And it is a bit of a horse cock,
mate.
303
00:16:19,920 --> 00:16:22,600
Right, so we're playing
silly buggers, are we?
304
00:16:22,600 --> 00:16:25,560
Please leave or I'll be forced
to call the dungeon Master.
305
00:16:25,560 --> 00:16:28,600
All right, listen, Voldermort, we're
not in fucking Hogwarts, right.
306
00:16:28,600 --> 00:16:30,280
We're ten minutes outside of Yeovil,
307
00:16:30,280 --> 00:16:34,280
so can you please open
that fucking door?
308
00:16:34,680 --> 00:16:38,680
Where's your wristband?
309
00:16:40,360 --> 00:16:44,360
Spliff? Spliff.
310
00:16:52,880 --> 00:16:55,440
Feels nice.
311
00:16:55,440 --> 00:16:59,440
Good. I should probably tell you,
it's my first time.
312
00:16:59,680 --> 00:17:01,640
Mine too.
313
00:17:01,640 --> 00:17:05,000
GONG STRIKES
314
00:17:05,000 --> 00:17:06,400
They're pretty synchronised.
315
00:17:06,400 --> 00:17:09,560
Ssh! Sorry.
316
00:17:09,560 --> 00:17:11,520
So, what happens next?
317
00:17:11,520 --> 00:17:15,520
Kneel down with me.
318
00:17:18,760 --> 00:17:22,040
Close your eyes.
319
00:17:22,040 --> 00:17:25,240
OK.
320
00:17:25,240 --> 00:17:29,240
And also your mouth. What?
321
00:17:31,240 --> 00:17:34,480
Argh! No, no, no, no!
322
00:17:34,480 --> 00:17:38,480
Argh! Argh! Argh!
323
00:17:39,320 --> 00:17:42,520
Hey, be honest. Do you think
if you stayed in there,
324
00:17:42,520 --> 00:17:44,080
you'd've actually had sex?
325
00:17:44,080 --> 00:17:47,920
I want to say no, but I haven't had
a shag in fucking ages.
326
00:17:47,920 --> 00:17:50,120
Maybe if there were more
drink tokens.
327
00:17:50,120 --> 00:17:52,720
Oh, right, so you didn't have sex
with dread head?
328
00:17:52,720 --> 00:17:56,720
Only petting.
What about the bat man?
329
00:17:57,240 --> 00:18:00,680
Nah, but that might be
because I stabbed him.
330
00:18:00,680 --> 00:18:03,040
It's been pretty dry too,
for me, to be fair.
331
00:18:03,040 --> 00:18:05,840
Since I got back.
332
00:18:05,840 --> 00:18:07,880
But there were loads of girls
in Brazil, right?
333
00:18:07,880 --> 00:18:11,880
Nada. I don't think
I've had sex since...
334
00:18:19,920 --> 00:18:23,920
Me too.
335
00:18:28,160 --> 00:18:30,680
Kent...
336
00:18:30,680 --> 00:18:34,680
Yeah.
337
00:18:36,760 --> 00:18:40,760
Is that man wanking?
338
00:18:44,240 --> 00:18:45,680
Mr Rogerson!
339
00:18:45,680 --> 00:18:49,680
Kent Blackwell, how are you keeping?
340
00:18:49,680 --> 00:18:53,680
Oi! Shoo! Get out of it.
341
00:18:56,160 --> 00:18:57,720
What the fuck happened to you?
342
00:18:57,720 --> 00:18:58,960
I don't want to talk about it.
343
00:18:58,960 --> 00:19:00,160
Morpheus got pissed on.
344
00:19:00,160 --> 00:19:02,160
Oh, so we're just talking about it,
are we?
345
00:19:02,160 --> 00:19:06,160
You got off lightly, mate.
When I was in room 42...
346
00:19:07,360 --> 00:19:10,680
I'm going to go back in.
347
00:19:10,680 --> 00:19:13,880
Open the gates!
348
00:19:13,880 --> 00:19:17,880
At least you can save it
for someone special.
349
00:19:18,200 --> 00:19:20,320
Mate, put a towel down.
350
00:19:20,320 --> 00:19:23,200
I didn't bring a towel.
You brought fucking oysters!
351
00:19:23,200 --> 00:19:27,200
There's one in the boot.
352
00:19:27,960 --> 00:19:29,800
Me again.
353
00:19:29,800 --> 00:19:33,800
Argh!
354
00:19:34,680 --> 00:19:38,480
Well, you win some, you lose some.
355
00:19:38,480 --> 00:19:40,840
Is that all you've got
to say about it?
356
00:19:40,840 --> 00:19:43,680
You do know six men pissed on me,
right?
357
00:19:43,680 --> 00:19:47,200
Maybe there's a lesson in it.
358
00:19:47,200 --> 00:19:50,720
What? I don't know.
359
00:19:50,720 --> 00:19:52,400
Be yourself?
360
00:19:52,400 --> 00:19:54,200
Is that the best you've got?
361
00:19:54,200 --> 00:19:56,640
You laid this on for me.
I thought you had a plan, Sean.
362
00:19:56,640 --> 00:19:59,840
I'm managing it from a distance,
I don't have boots on the ground.
363
00:19:59,840 --> 00:20:01,640
And remember...
364
00:20:01,640 --> 00:20:03,920
I'm just your subconscious.
365
00:20:03,920 --> 00:20:06,120
You've got to take
some responsibility.
366
00:20:06,120 --> 00:20:10,120
No. Actually, I think you've got
to take some responsibility.
367
00:20:10,320 --> 00:20:14,320
You what? You've been
a shit spirit guide.
368
00:20:14,880 --> 00:20:17,120
Now it's time I killed you.
369
00:20:17,120 --> 00:20:18,640
Killed me?
370
00:20:18,640 --> 00:20:21,920
Come on, Sean Bean.
371
00:20:21,920 --> 00:20:25,200
You die in everything.
372
00:20:25,200 --> 00:20:29,200
Yeah. Fair enough.
373
00:20:35,920 --> 00:20:38,560
Morpheus. Yes.
374
00:20:38,560 --> 00:20:41,880
Make it a clean strike.
375
00:20:41,880 --> 00:20:43,880
I'll try my best.
376
00:20:43,880 --> 00:20:46,280
But it's my first time, so...
377
00:20:46,280 --> 00:20:50,280
You'll do fine.
378
00:21:06,480 --> 00:21:10,480
CLANG
379
00:21:14,280 --> 00:21:18,280
Ah!
380
00:21:24,840 --> 00:21:26,200
Sean Bean?
381
00:21:26,200 --> 00:21:28,440
I just killed you.
382
00:21:28,440 --> 00:21:32,440
One does not simply kill Sean Bean.
383
00:21:35,040 --> 00:21:37,480
Oh, my God. Best day ever!
384
00:21:37,480 --> 00:22:04,000
Subtitles by Ericsson
Resync by Albandit & jonag
385
00:22:04,050 --> 00:22:08,600
Repair and Synchronization by
Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0
27375
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.
Afrikaans
Akan
Albanian
Amharic
Arabic
Armenian
Azerbaijani
Basque
Belarusian
Bemba
Bengali
Bihari
Bosnian
Breton
Bulgarian
Cambodian
Catalan
Cebuano
Cherokee
Chichewa
Chinese (Simplified)
Chinese (Traditional)
Corsican
Croatian
Czech
Danish
English
Esperanto
Estonian
Faroese
Finnish
Frisian
Galician
Georgian
German
Greek
Guarani
Haitian Creole
Hausa
Hawaiian
Hebrew
Hmong
Hungarian
Icelandic
Indonesian
Irish
Italian
Japanese
Kazakh
Kinyarwanda
Kirundi
Kongo
Korean
Krio (Sierra Leone)
Kurdish
Kyrgyz
Laothian
Latin
Latvian
Lithuanian
Luganda
Luo
Luxembourgish
Macedonian
Malagasy
Malay
Maltese
Maori
Mauritian Creole
Moldavian
Mongolian
Myanmar (Burmese)
Montenegrin
Nepali
Norwegian
Pashto
Persian
Polish
Portuguese (Brazil)
Portuguese (Portugal)
Quechua
Romanian
Romansh
Russian
Samoan
Scots Gaelic
Serbian
Sesotho
Setswana
Seychellois Creole
Shona
Sindhi
Sinhalese
Slovak
Slovenian
Somali
Spanish (Latin American)
Swedish
Tajik
Thai
Tigrinya
Tonga
Turkish
Turkmen
Ukrainian
Uzbek
Vietnamese
Welsh
Wolof