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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:08,720 --> 00:00:12,360 Carvery's on me today, guys. I got a promotion at Bird Zone. 2 00:00:12,360 --> 00:00:14,760 Well done, man. What are you doing now? 3 00:00:14,760 --> 00:00:18,280 You are looking at the brand-new penguin master. 4 00:00:18,280 --> 00:00:22,080 - Phew! - They still got that fibreglass polar bear there? 5 00:00:22,080 --> 00:00:24,960 - Yes, they do. - I wanked your cousin off behind that. 6 00:00:24,960 --> 00:00:26,400 Oh. 7 00:00:26,400 --> 00:00:28,440 Come through. Come through. 8 00:00:28,440 --> 00:00:32,440 Stop letting people go ahead of us! I'm fucking starving! 9 00:00:32,440 --> 00:00:36,440 You must control your base instincts to reap maximum rewards from the carvery. 10 00:00:36,760 --> 00:00:39,440 Oh, Morph, no-one cares about your stupid system. 11 00:00:39,440 --> 00:00:43,160 First, like the hunter, you wait for a moment to pounce, 12 00:00:43,160 --> 00:00:45,440 which is when they bring out the new turkey. 13 00:00:45,440 --> 00:00:48,320 Then begins the strategy. 14 00:00:48,320 --> 00:00:50,680 Meat goes into the middle. 15 00:00:50,680 --> 00:00:54,480 You're only allowed three, so ask for turkey, pork and beef. 16 00:00:54,480 --> 00:00:58,480 Then say, "Oh, I wanted gammon, not pork." 17 00:01:01,920 --> 00:01:04,240 I call that the Carnifour. 18 00:01:04,240 --> 00:01:06,200 Vegetables - baked ones only. 19 00:01:06,200 --> 00:01:09,720 Potatoes, parsnips and stuffing. Be careful with the stuffing, 20 00:01:09,720 --> 00:01:11,520 cos it's always next to the peas. 21 00:01:11,520 --> 00:01:13,920 Arrange sauces like an artist's palette. 22 00:01:13,920 --> 00:01:16,040 Then most important of all... 23 00:01:16,040 --> 00:01:17,760 the Yorkshire pudding crown. 24 00:01:17,760 --> 00:01:19,760 Add your gravy pond, and for a bit of fun, 25 00:01:19,760 --> 00:01:23,560 mashed potato ducks. 26 00:01:23,560 --> 00:01:27,560 And that, my friends, is the perfect carvery. 27 00:01:29,280 --> 00:01:33,040 All I'm trying to say is watch part three again, cos it's really not that bad. 28 00:01:33,040 --> 00:01:37,040 CHATTER Come through. 29 00:01:38,920 --> 00:01:42,920 - Fresh meat! - Fuck it - mine! 30 00:01:52,280 --> 00:01:55,720 - Mmm! - Ahhh! 31 00:01:55,720 --> 00:01:58,520 - Not eating your carvery, Morph? - It's not a carvery, is it? 32 00:01:58,520 --> 00:02:01,000 It's an absolute outrage! 33 00:02:01,000 --> 00:02:03,640 - No fucking Yorkshire! - I'll have it. - No! 34 00:02:03,640 --> 00:02:05,680 We're leaving that as a message. 35 00:02:05,680 --> 00:02:09,040 You know! You fucking know! 36 00:02:09,040 --> 00:02:10,960 Fuck! 37 00:02:10,960 --> 00:02:14,960 Tone it down. 38 00:02:15,040 --> 00:02:17,880 Can we talk? 39 00:02:17,880 --> 00:02:21,880 Might be best. 40 00:02:22,440 --> 00:02:25,680 Hiya. 41 00:02:25,680 --> 00:02:28,080 - So...lately... - I know. 42 00:02:28,080 --> 00:02:32,080 - I mean, it's not... - Oh, no, no, no. 43 00:02:33,000 --> 00:02:35,320 Thank God. But you... 44 00:02:35,320 --> 00:02:36,640 Hey. 45 00:02:36,640 --> 00:02:38,680 - Because... - It's cool. 46 00:02:38,680 --> 00:02:40,640 Well... 47 00:02:40,640 --> 00:02:44,040 You too. 48 00:02:44,040 --> 00:02:47,720 Yeah. 49 00:02:47,720 --> 00:02:50,560 What a bell-end! Can you believe that?! 50 00:02:50,560 --> 00:02:52,200 Sorry, believe what, exactly? 51 00:02:52,200 --> 00:02:54,680 - I mean, you heard what he said. - Not really. 52 00:02:54,680 --> 00:02:57,920 We go out together, he moves me in, we set up a harness, and then... 53 00:02:57,920 --> 00:03:00,920 we break up. He just doesn't know what he wants. 54 00:03:00,920 --> 00:03:03,080 Alison, if there's anything I can do... 55 00:03:03,080 --> 00:03:07,080 Oh, I know it's a Sunday, but can we just get really, really drunk? 56 00:03:07,880 --> 00:03:10,160 Agreed. But not in this pub. 57 00:03:10,160 --> 00:03:14,160 After this carvery debacle, I hope the staff DIE IN A HOUSE FIRE! 58 00:03:14,320 --> 00:03:17,400 - Bit much, mate! - Is it, though? Actually, is it? 59 00:03:17,400 --> 00:03:19,520 A carvery without a Yorkshire! 60 00:03:19,520 --> 00:03:21,280 I BITE MY THUMB AT THEE, SIR! 61 00:03:21,280 --> 00:03:25,280 I BITE MY THUMB AT THEE! 62 00:03:36,160 --> 00:03:40,160 - Well, this is it. - We're gonna have to try... -..the other pub. 63 00:03:42,760 --> 00:03:46,440 No-one goes in the Swan since they done it up. 64 00:03:46,440 --> 00:03:50,440 I'm sure it'll be fine. 65 00:04:08,080 --> 00:04:12,080 LAUGHTER 66 00:04:16,680 --> 00:04:20,680 MANIC LAUGHTER 67 00:04:20,840 --> 00:04:24,160 Pints, then? 68 00:04:24,160 --> 00:04:26,000 Guys, I don't like it here! 69 00:04:26,000 --> 00:04:27,880 The rugby's on. 70 00:04:27,880 --> 00:04:30,560 Cucumber...water? 71 00:04:30,560 --> 00:04:32,440 Shall we do one? 72 00:04:32,440 --> 00:04:34,520 Guys, we're here for Alison. 73 00:04:34,520 --> 00:04:38,520 So let's pull up a chair. 74 00:04:38,520 --> 00:04:40,600 It's screwed to the floor. 75 00:04:40,600 --> 00:04:44,600 Guys...apparently, it's table service. 76 00:04:45,800 --> 00:04:49,800 MANIC LAUGHTER ECHOES 77 00:04:51,960 --> 00:04:55,960 Where are we? 78 00:04:55,960 --> 00:04:58,360 FLAMES CRACKLE 79 00:04:58,360 --> 00:05:01,440 Oh! This should be comfortable, but it isn't. 80 00:05:01,440 --> 00:05:04,520 - What? - I said... 81 00:05:04,520 --> 00:05:08,520 - We should be able to talk. - What the fuck is that? 82 00:05:09,960 --> 00:05:11,560 - Are you Facebook stalking him? - No! 83 00:05:11,560 --> 00:05:13,160 I'm on his porn hub. 84 00:05:13,160 --> 00:05:15,120 Would you like any olives? 85 00:05:15,120 --> 00:05:17,840 - Do we have to pay for olives? - Yes. 86 00:05:17,840 --> 00:05:19,320 Then...no. 87 00:05:19,320 --> 00:05:21,880 Er, guys, promotion! 88 00:05:21,880 --> 00:05:25,880 We will have the olives, my love, and some fucking wasabi peanuts. 89 00:05:29,600 --> 00:05:33,360 Oh, shit! 90 00:05:33,360 --> 00:05:36,040 Don't look. Don't look. It's Alistair from school. 91 00:05:36,040 --> 00:05:38,800 - Oh, fuck, I'd forgotten about him. - He's such a loser. 92 00:05:38,800 --> 00:05:41,720 He's always following me around, wanting to hang out with me. 93 00:05:41,720 --> 00:05:45,600 So his mum phoned my mum and he came round to my house then pissed in my paddling pool. 94 00:05:45,600 --> 00:05:49,600 I told him to stop pissing, but he kept on going and smiling at me like a Moomin. 95 00:05:49,960 --> 00:05:51,520 Oh, my God! 96 00:05:51,520 --> 00:05:53,440 What are you guys doing here? 97 00:05:53,440 --> 00:05:55,240 Just thinking about leaving actually. 98 00:05:55,240 --> 00:05:58,160 When was the last time we were all together? Probably school. 99 00:05:58,160 --> 00:06:02,000 That old building we used to go to every day, having lessons! 100 00:06:02,000 --> 00:06:04,000 SARKY LAUGHTER I went past it the other day. 101 00:06:04,000 --> 00:06:05,440 Still there! 102 00:06:05,440 --> 00:06:07,200 It is, isn't it? 103 00:06:07,200 --> 00:06:10,880 And I saw Mrs Ryan the other week, getting some petrol. Mental! 104 00:06:10,880 --> 00:06:12,840 Mate, we're trying to have a drink, so... 105 00:06:12,840 --> 00:06:15,200 Me too. We should have one together. 106 00:06:15,200 --> 00:06:17,280 I'd rather suck Morpheus's cock. 107 00:06:17,280 --> 00:06:21,040 Whoa! 108 00:06:21,040 --> 00:06:22,720 Blackwell! Still on form! 109 00:06:22,720 --> 00:06:24,240 Is anyone sitting here? 110 00:06:24,240 --> 00:06:28,120 - So, what are you doing at the moment? - Er, well, actually, 111 00:06:28,120 --> 00:06:30,080 I'm penguin master at Bird Zone. 112 00:06:30,080 --> 00:06:33,240 - That's great, mate! - Yeah. Things turned out pretty all right. 113 00:06:33,240 --> 00:06:35,800 So what are you up to, then, Alistair from school? 114 00:06:35,800 --> 00:06:37,960 I mean, Alistair from now. 115 00:06:37,960 --> 00:06:41,960 Oh, um...I'm the landlord in here. LAUGHTER 116 00:06:42,000 --> 00:06:44,800 Nom, you're not. You work at the fucking Co-op! 117 00:06:44,800 --> 00:06:48,200 When I was doing my BTEC. Then I saved up, bought this place. 118 00:06:48,200 --> 00:06:49,960 You run a bloody pub? 119 00:06:49,960 --> 00:06:52,160 - You're 20 fucking 4! - I know, yeah! 120 00:06:52,160 --> 00:06:55,880 And we've just had a refurb, so we've now got Giant Jenga, Dyson Airblade... 121 00:06:55,880 --> 00:06:58,280 And weird fake candles. 122 00:06:58,280 --> 00:07:01,080 We've even got a hot tub out the back. Crazy! 123 00:07:01,080 --> 00:07:03,600 Hats off to you Alistair! I run a small business myself. 124 00:07:03,600 --> 00:07:06,080 I know how bloody hard it can be. 125 00:07:06,080 --> 00:07:08,160 Annual tax returns. Oh! 126 00:07:08,160 --> 00:07:09,640 Annual?! 127 00:07:09,640 --> 00:07:13,200 - Here are your olives. - Thank you, Rosalita. 128 00:07:13,200 --> 00:07:15,120 Rosalita's from Leicester. 129 00:07:15,120 --> 00:07:17,480 Bloody hell! 130 00:07:17,480 --> 00:07:19,720 - Guys, my treat. - Don't be silly! 131 00:07:19,720 --> 00:07:23,520 - These are on the house. - I can pay for my own fucking drinks. I'm penguin master. 132 00:07:23,520 --> 00:07:27,280 - Bloody hell! - Come on. Take a drink from an old friend. 133 00:07:27,280 --> 00:07:31,280 You're not our friend! You're a fucking Moomin. 134 00:07:34,080 --> 00:07:38,080 Blackwell! 135 00:07:40,800 --> 00:07:44,560 I will have all the shots, please. 136 00:07:44,560 --> 00:07:47,960 He's not even that fit, is he? 137 00:07:47,960 --> 00:07:49,840 Delete. Delete. 138 00:07:49,840 --> 00:07:51,480 Revenge porn. 139 00:07:51,480 --> 00:07:52,840 Delete. 140 00:07:52,840 --> 00:07:56,560 So...about the holy man. 141 00:07:56,560 --> 00:07:58,400 Not sure he was ever right for you. 142 00:07:58,400 --> 00:08:00,800 Maybe I was punching above my weight. 143 00:08:00,800 --> 00:08:02,720 He's so sophisticated. 144 00:08:02,720 --> 00:08:04,720 Whatever he is, he's history. 145 00:08:04,720 --> 00:08:08,720 I think you should jump straight back on the horse. Maybe a bigger, sturdier horse. 146 00:08:09,800 --> 00:08:11,920 - Like a rebound? - Exactly! 147 00:08:11,920 --> 00:08:15,920 Well, to begin with. It starts with a rebound, then you slowly realise... 148 00:08:36,960 --> 00:08:39,080 - Right in the holy man's face! - What...? 149 00:08:39,080 --> 00:08:42,400 Sorry, Morph. I just want to see that skinny bastard suffer. 150 00:08:42,400 --> 00:08:45,160 Oh, right, see that skinny bastard suffer, yeah. 151 00:08:45,160 --> 00:08:47,480 Could you pretend to be my boyfriend? 152 00:08:47,480 --> 00:08:50,120 Yes, please. With all of my heart, yes! 153 00:08:50,120 --> 00:08:52,160 Excuse me! 154 00:08:52,160 --> 00:08:56,160 - So what happens now - another kiss? - He's coming over. Put your arm round me. - OK. 155 00:08:56,320 --> 00:08:57,640 - One arm. - Got it. 156 00:08:57,640 --> 00:08:59,280 Er... 157 00:08:59,280 --> 00:09:02,040 So, you are, um... 158 00:09:02,040 --> 00:09:04,600 - with him now. - Absolutely. 159 00:09:04,600 --> 00:09:07,400 Don't hate the player, hate the game. 160 00:09:07,400 --> 00:09:10,280 - In fact, we're engaged. - We're not engaged. 161 00:09:10,280 --> 00:09:12,320 - We're engaged to be engaged. - Mmm. 162 00:09:12,320 --> 00:09:15,080 Seems...a bit quick. 163 00:09:15,080 --> 00:09:17,840 Actually, Morpheus always had feelings for me, didn't you? 164 00:09:17,840 --> 00:09:19,600 Since the first day I met you. 165 00:09:19,600 --> 00:09:21,360 So there you have it. 166 00:09:21,360 --> 00:09:23,800 And I would do anything for her. 167 00:09:23,800 --> 00:09:26,760 I would walk through hell for this woman 168 00:09:26,760 --> 00:09:29,880 and fight Satan in bare-knuckle combat 169 00:09:29,880 --> 00:09:33,880 until his fiery hooves tore the skin from my hands! 170 00:09:37,040 --> 00:09:39,040 Fair enough. 171 00:09:41,080 --> 00:09:43,920 - What is wrong with that guy?! - I just don't know. 172 00:09:43,920 --> 00:09:45,720 He's gone now, mate. 173 00:09:45,720 --> 00:09:49,720 Cool, yeah. 174 00:09:50,480 --> 00:09:54,480 Would you recommend the merlot or the rioj-er? 175 00:09:58,400 --> 00:10:01,200 Sod all that. Get some ale down your neck, lad. 176 00:10:01,200 --> 00:10:02,520 Sure. 177 00:10:02,520 --> 00:10:05,280 Thanks. 178 00:10:05,280 --> 00:10:09,280 - Is that a full pint? - Aye. 179 00:10:10,200 --> 00:10:12,640 A bit surprised to see you here. 180 00:10:12,640 --> 00:10:16,640 Didn't know you could appear in the real world. Thought we had to meet in that magical forest. 181 00:10:17,320 --> 00:10:19,680 Wish I hadn't now. This fucking place! 182 00:10:19,680 --> 00:10:22,040 There's a fella over there sat with no socks on. 183 00:10:22,040 --> 00:10:24,880 If he did that in the tavern, he'd be cut from nave to chaps. 184 00:10:24,880 --> 00:10:27,040 - Twat! - Cool. 185 00:10:27,040 --> 00:10:30,320 So, why are you here, spirit guide? 186 00:10:30,320 --> 00:10:33,880 I know what you're up to, Morpheus. 187 00:10:33,880 --> 00:10:36,240 But do you really want to be the rebound guy? 188 00:10:36,240 --> 00:10:39,280 Well, if I get through the door as the rebound guy, 189 00:10:39,280 --> 00:10:41,000 it gives me something to build on. 190 00:10:41,000 --> 00:10:44,120 Then, over time, we phase out the rebound 191 00:10:44,120 --> 00:10:46,360 and I just become the guy 192 00:10:46,360 --> 00:10:47,760 or the husband. 193 00:10:47,760 --> 00:10:49,240 It never works, man. 194 00:10:49,240 --> 00:10:51,520 Take it from somebody who knows a bit about women. 195 00:10:51,520 --> 00:10:55,200 With all due respect, you and Catelyn Stark, 196 00:10:55,200 --> 00:10:57,480 that wasn't exactly fireworks, mate. 197 00:10:57,480 --> 00:10:59,880 Watch Lady Chatterley's Lover then come back to me. 198 00:10:59,880 --> 00:11:02,920 - You were in Lady Chatterley's Lover? - IMDB, mate. 199 00:11:02,920 --> 00:11:05,800 Fucking hell - GoldenEye! 200 00:11:05,800 --> 00:11:07,120 Wow! 201 00:11:07,120 --> 00:11:10,760 Morpheus... 202 00:11:10,760 --> 00:11:14,000 Heed my advice. If you go after Alison, 203 00:11:14,000 --> 00:11:17,080 it will end in sorrow. 204 00:11:17,080 --> 00:11:18,480 Sorrow! 205 00:11:18,480 --> 00:11:20,000 Sorrow... 206 00:11:20,000 --> 00:11:21,600 Sorrow... 207 00:11:21,600 --> 00:11:24,160 Sorrow... 208 00:11:24,160 --> 00:11:26,000 SORROW! 209 00:11:26,500 --> 00:11:29,460 - OK, so you know your VAT return? - Yeah. 210 00:11:29,460 --> 00:11:31,540 What is that? 211 00:11:31,540 --> 00:11:35,540 Oh, right, OK. So, basically, every quarter, you want to compile all your invoces and receipts... 212 00:11:36,700 --> 00:11:40,500 - Right. - ..make sure they're safe and sound. If you have a safe, pop them in there. 213 00:11:40,500 --> 00:11:44,500 HIS VOICE BECOMES MUFFLED 214 00:11:46,940 --> 00:11:49,660 Big words, big words, grown-up stuff. 215 00:11:49,660 --> 00:11:51,780 Adult, adult, real man. 216 00:11:51,780 --> 00:11:54,740 Business stuff, financial words, impressive things. 217 00:11:54,740 --> 00:11:56,860 Impressed, impressed. 218 00:11:56,860 --> 00:11:59,420 Better than Kent. EVIL LAUGHTER 219 00:11:59,420 --> 00:12:03,420 Witty anecdote, ?50 note... 220 00:12:04,620 --> 00:12:07,900 Spotify Premium? Didn't think so! 221 00:12:07,900 --> 00:12:10,540 I like to keep all my invoices in a pillow case, cos it... 222 00:12:10,540 --> 00:12:14,420 Remember when you shat yourself in Physics? 223 00:12:14,420 --> 00:12:17,580 God! Yeah, I haven't thought about that in a while. 224 00:12:17,580 --> 00:12:20,940 I think about it all the time and it's still just as funny. 225 00:12:20,940 --> 00:12:23,180 He was 11, though. 226 00:12:23,180 --> 00:12:26,420 Yeah, and he filled his pants with shit, in front of the whole class! 227 00:12:26,420 --> 00:12:29,500 It's classic! You never lived that one down, did you? 228 00:12:29,500 --> 00:12:31,580 No, I guess not. 229 00:12:31,580 --> 00:12:33,260 No. 230 00:12:33,260 --> 00:12:35,420 Kent shat himself in a cab last week. 231 00:12:35,420 --> 00:12:37,300 No, that was different. 232 00:12:37,300 --> 00:12:38,980 I was on drugs. 233 00:12:38,980 --> 00:12:42,220 Oh... 234 00:12:42,220 --> 00:12:45,700 - Game of pool? - No, you'll probably just whip me like you used to. 235 00:12:45,700 --> 00:12:49,700 Don't worry - I'll go easy on ya. 236 00:12:53,820 --> 00:12:57,820 - So, just to clarify, Kent, you are the yellow balls, right? - Yes! 237 00:12:57,940 --> 00:13:01,460 I cannot believe I'm seven balls up on Blackwell. Flukey or what? 238 00:13:01,460 --> 00:13:03,180 Or blatant cheating! 239 00:13:03,180 --> 00:13:07,180 - Come on, Maradona. Your shot. - OK. 240 00:13:08,740 --> 00:13:11,060 Ha! Touched the white! Two shots to me. 241 00:13:11,060 --> 00:13:13,740 - Shut that face up! - He's right - I did touch it. 242 00:13:13,740 --> 00:13:15,500 I'm gonna need a rest. 243 00:13:15,500 --> 00:13:17,300 Oh, we don't have a rest. 244 00:13:17,300 --> 00:13:20,820 You haven't got a rest?! He hasn't got a rest! 245 00:13:20,820 --> 00:13:23,620 Yeah, he's got a pool table, though, in the pub he owns. 246 00:13:23,620 --> 00:13:26,500 Yeah, but he hasn't got a rest, have you? You prick! 247 00:13:26,500 --> 00:13:28,660 BALL CLACKS SHARPLY 248 00:13:28,660 --> 00:13:32,660 Come on, Morph, it's now or never. Just book it. 249 00:13:35,060 --> 00:13:37,940 Z-I-I-IP! 250 00:13:37,940 --> 00:13:41,940 Just book it. 251 00:13:43,260 --> 00:13:45,740 I wanna wake up 252 00:13:45,740 --> 00:13:49,740 In a city that doesn't sleep... 253 00:13:50,580 --> 00:13:54,500 - Don't do it, Morpheus! - Jesus! 254 00:13:54,500 --> 00:13:57,060 - You're appearing on posters now? - So what? 255 00:13:57,060 --> 00:13:59,740 Just seems like your rules are really loose. 256 00:13:59,740 --> 00:14:01,380 I'm Sean Bean. I can do what I like. 257 00:14:01,380 --> 00:14:05,260 About Alison - you're thinking wi' your... 258 00:14:05,260 --> 00:14:07,660 It's quite an eyeful! 259 00:14:07,660 --> 00:14:10,700 But Alison wants a man who knows what he wants 260 00:14:10,700 --> 00:14:14,300 and I want to take her to the top of the Empire State Building on Valentine's Day 261 00:14:14,300 --> 00:14:17,340 and then to that big sandwich place from When Harry Met Sally. 262 00:14:17,340 --> 00:14:21,340 I'm telling you, Morpheus... don't book it! 263 00:14:23,100 --> 00:14:25,220 You need to check Groupon first. 264 00:14:25,220 --> 00:14:27,100 Did you just look down again? 265 00:14:27,100 --> 00:14:29,420 No. Just accidentally. 266 00:14:29,420 --> 00:14:33,420 Get out of my head, Sean Bean! 267 00:14:34,820 --> 00:14:38,820 '2005.' 268 00:14:39,220 --> 00:14:41,100 Easy. Miley Cyrus. 269 00:14:41,100 --> 00:14:42,860 You sure it's not Hannah Montana? 270 00:14:42,860 --> 00:14:46,420 Hannah Montana was the character in the show, you fucking goon! 271 00:14:46,420 --> 00:14:50,420 OK. Miley Cyrus. 272 00:14:51,820 --> 00:14:55,820 Well done, Alistair(!) Just press the button before we've all decided. 273 00:14:55,900 --> 00:14:59,260 - But you said... - I was presenting a debate, you helmet. 274 00:14:59,260 --> 00:15:03,260 - For the group to discuss. - We thought you were team captain. You made a pretty big deal out of that. 275 00:15:03,900 --> 00:15:07,900 Yeah, because I'm better than him. And I can prove it. 276 00:15:19,340 --> 00:15:23,340 Chins. We both take it in turns to punch each other in the face until one of us gives up. 277 00:15:23,540 --> 00:15:25,460 I don't know if I want to do that. 278 00:15:25,460 --> 00:15:27,420 What?! You scared or something? 279 00:15:27,420 --> 00:15:30,500 - Gonna piss yourself, like you did in my paddling pool? - No. 280 00:15:30,500 --> 00:15:34,260 - I just thought we were having a nice night. - Well, we're not. We're having a fight. 281 00:15:34,260 --> 00:15:36,220 And why has that happened, then? 282 00:15:36,220 --> 00:15:39,900 Because someone needs to realise who rules the fucking roost around here! 283 00:15:39,900 --> 00:15:42,700 Guys, why not get your dicks out and measure them instead? 284 00:15:42,700 --> 00:15:45,620 - We don't wanna do that! - I don't... No. - Come on. 285 00:15:45,620 --> 00:15:47,340 You punch me first. 286 00:15:47,340 --> 00:15:49,100 - You want me to punch you? - Yeah. 287 00:15:49,100 --> 00:15:50,900 - What - in your face? - Yeah. 288 00:15:50,900 --> 00:15:54,900 With, like, a closed fist? 289 00:15:56,180 --> 00:15:58,380 - Yeah. - OK. - Come on, then! 290 00:15:58,380 --> 00:16:00,740 Hit me! Then we'll see who the big man is. 291 00:16:00,740 --> 00:16:02,740 OK. Um, look... 292 00:16:02,740 --> 00:16:05,140 If you wanna be the big man, you can, 293 00:16:05,140 --> 00:16:06,540 because I'm pulling out. 294 00:16:06,540 --> 00:16:09,220 Look, you're prepared to do this. I'm not. 295 00:16:09,220 --> 00:16:12,420 So, congratulations - you win...big man. 296 00:16:12,420 --> 00:16:15,260 Shake on it. 297 00:16:15,260 --> 00:16:19,260 OK, I'll shake on it. 298 00:16:20,700 --> 00:16:23,980 Fuck! 299 00:16:23,980 --> 00:16:25,580 What was that? 300 00:16:25,580 --> 00:16:28,820 A punch. 301 00:16:28,820 --> 00:16:31,180 - While we were shaking hands? - Yeah. 302 00:16:31,180 --> 00:16:35,180 I did that. 303 00:16:45,980 --> 00:16:47,660 Blackwell! 304 00:16:47,660 --> 00:16:49,820 Alistair! 305 00:16:49,820 --> 00:16:53,820 Let's go and get in the hot tub! He's fucking me in the ear - he doesn't even mean it! 306 00:16:59,380 --> 00:17:01,140 Hoo! 307 00:17:01,140 --> 00:17:05,140 Ooh, New York... 308 00:17:05,620 --> 00:17:07,260 Alison. 309 00:17:07,260 --> 00:17:11,260 I've got something to tell you and I want everyone to hear. 310 00:17:12,780 --> 00:17:14,500 I love you. 311 00:17:14,500 --> 00:17:16,660 I've always loved you. 312 00:17:16,660 --> 00:17:19,780 And I can't live another moment without you knowing. 313 00:17:19,780 --> 00:17:22,140 - Bloody hell, Morph! - And there's more. 314 00:17:22,140 --> 00:17:25,300 As tomorrow's Valentine's day, I am taking you... 315 00:17:25,300 --> 00:17:27,260 It's OK, you can drop the act. 316 00:17:27,260 --> 00:17:28,700 The plan worked. 317 00:17:28,700 --> 00:17:32,060 We're back on! 318 00:17:32,060 --> 00:17:34,740 - Really? - Yeah, it was quite romantic, actually. 319 00:17:34,740 --> 00:17:37,420 He told me he missed me, then cut off a lock of his hair 320 00:17:37,420 --> 00:17:40,540 and tied it to mine while I was tugging him off in the bogs. 321 00:17:40,540 --> 00:17:41,820 Aye. 322 00:17:41,820 --> 00:17:43,660 Ohhh! 323 00:17:43,660 --> 00:17:46,780 Well, that is...smashing! 324 00:17:46,780 --> 00:17:50,780 Really fucking smashing! 325 00:17:52,020 --> 00:17:53,780 Bloody hell! 326 00:17:53,780 --> 00:17:56,740 Mazel tov! 327 00:17:56,740 --> 00:18:00,740 So, hot tub? 328 00:18:02,140 --> 00:18:05,940 You make an honest woman of her! 329 00:18:05,940 --> 00:18:09,180 Well...early days, so... 330 00:18:09,180 --> 00:18:13,180 Eh? 331 00:18:14,500 --> 00:18:18,140 Sorry. 332 00:18:18,140 --> 00:18:22,140 I've got shaking hands and shit. Even when he's being the smaller man, he has to be the biggerman. 333 00:18:22,740 --> 00:18:24,900 Maybe you should have a little cry about it. 334 00:18:24,900 --> 00:18:28,900 - He's a prick! - Is he, though? Or maybe you're just a bit jealous. 335 00:18:29,460 --> 00:18:33,460 Jealous?! Of him?! 336 00:18:34,740 --> 00:18:36,460 It's just... 337 00:18:36,460 --> 00:18:39,820 I sleep on your couch, and I've never got any fucking money. 338 00:18:39,820 --> 00:18:42,220 It's not that bad. 339 00:18:42,220 --> 00:18:45,620 You're penguin master! 340 00:18:45,620 --> 00:18:47,500 No. I made that up. 341 00:18:47,500 --> 00:18:49,900 I'm assistant penguin master. 342 00:18:49,900 --> 00:18:52,860 Does the penguin master need an assistant? 343 00:18:52,860 --> 00:18:54,420 Not really. 344 00:18:54,420 --> 00:18:57,740 Just makes me clean up the fish and shit. 345 00:18:57,740 --> 00:19:00,580 Even the fucking Moomin's doing better than me! 346 00:19:00,580 --> 00:19:03,940 All right, OK, so maybe he's got all this stuff, 347 00:19:03,940 --> 00:19:07,340 but...he's still a Moomin. 348 00:19:07,340 --> 00:19:10,500 And he looks up to you. 349 00:19:10,500 --> 00:19:14,500 Still want to fucking get him, though. 350 00:19:21,340 --> 00:19:23,060 Are you...pissing? 351 00:19:23,060 --> 00:19:27,020 Right in his paddling pool! 352 00:19:27,020 --> 00:19:29,700 OK. I'm doing it too! 353 00:19:29,700 --> 00:19:31,980 - Not on me! - No, I'm pointing it that way! 354 00:19:31,980 --> 00:19:33,980 Point it that way. 355 00:19:39,700 --> 00:19:42,700 Hit a warm spot! 356 00:19:45,420 --> 00:19:47,300 That's weird. 357 00:19:47,300 --> 00:19:50,220 It's an online check-in request from BA on the shop email. 358 00:19:50,220 --> 00:19:52,900 It's probably spam. Don't even read it! 359 00:19:52,900 --> 00:19:56,900 Well, no. Apparently there's two tickets booked to New York for tomorrow for Valentine's Day. 360 00:19:58,060 --> 00:20:00,900 - Give me the phone - I'll show you it's fake. - Looks pretty real. 361 00:20:00,900 --> 00:20:03,540 Passenger one is you and passenger two is Alis... 362 00:20:03,540 --> 00:20:07,540 HISSING 363 00:20:08,980 --> 00:20:11,100 ..stair! 364 00:20:11,100 --> 00:20:12,820 Alistair. 365 00:20:12,820 --> 00:20:16,500 Alistair. 366 00:20:16,500 --> 00:20:18,020 - Me? - Yeah. 367 00:20:18,020 --> 00:20:19,860 You're with me, buddy! 368 00:20:19,860 --> 00:20:23,060 It was supposed to be a... 369 00:20:23,060 --> 00:20:24,660 ..surprise 370 00:20:24,660 --> 00:20:28,180 to say thank you for... 371 00:20:28,180 --> 00:20:31,980 ..such a great night. 372 00:20:31,980 --> 00:20:35,980 - t's a bit weird, mate. - No, it's the normal thing one friend does for another, Kent. 373 00:20:36,340 --> 00:20:39,300 - For Valentine's Day? - That was a Groupon. The date was arbitrary. 374 00:20:39,300 --> 00:20:45,300 So, Alistair, what do you say? Because I can easily cancel it and I might be able to get a refund. 375 00:20:46,900 --> 00:20:50,900 Well... Bloody hell, Morph! 376 00:20:51,460 --> 00:20:53,420 I...I'd love to! 377 00:20:53,420 --> 00:20:57,420 HE LAUGHS MANIACALLY 378 00:21:01,020 --> 00:21:04,620 This is really happening! 379 00:21:04,620 --> 00:21:06,140 We...we... 380 00:21:06,140 --> 00:21:08,260 are going to New York together. 381 00:21:08,260 --> 00:21:10,620 - In four hours! - Mazel tov! 382 00:21:10,620 --> 00:21:12,860 The Big Apple! 383 00:21:12,860 --> 00:21:15,780 Start spreading the news 384 00:21:15,780 --> 00:21:18,260 THEY HUM ALONG 385 00:21:18,260 --> 00:21:22,260 I'm leaving today 386 00:21:22,540 --> 00:21:26,540 I want to be a part of it 387 00:21:29,220 --> 00:21:33,220 New York... 388 00:21:40,820 --> 00:21:43,020 Look - Times Square! 389 00:21:43,020 --> 00:21:44,660 Woo! 390 00:21:44,660 --> 00:21:46,620 Brooklyn Bridge...Rockefeller... 391 00:21:46,620 --> 00:21:49,900 There's a shop! 392 00:21:49,900 --> 00:21:51,780 We're actually in the hood! 393 00:21:51,780 --> 00:21:53,420 Morph's just chillin'. 394 00:21:53,420 --> 00:21:57,420 Oh, my God, Morph! Try it on! 395 00:21:57,740 --> 00:22:00,860 - Looks amazing. - Thanks. 396 00:22:00,860 --> 00:22:02,660 Oh, look, Morph! Morph! 397 00:22:02,660 --> 00:22:04,740 I'm walking here. 398 00:22:04,740 --> 00:22:07,620 He we are in an authentic American diner. 399 00:22:07,620 --> 00:22:09,860 I'll have what he's having. 400 00:22:09,860 --> 00:22:12,220 ALISTAIR LAUGHS 401 00:22:12,220 --> 00:22:14,500 Here's the master suite hotel room. 402 00:22:14,500 --> 00:22:18,300 That's our bed - double. Two lads, bit awkward, but hilarious. 403 00:22:18,300 --> 00:22:20,700 There's Morph! MORPH SOBS 404 00:22:20,700 --> 00:22:24,060 He's loving life. 405 00:22:24,060 --> 00:22:27,620 No, I think he's feeling a bit overwhelmed. 406 00:22:27,620 --> 00:22:29,940 You all right, Morph? 407 00:22:29,940 --> 00:22:32,660 Get out! 408 00:22:32,660 --> 00:22:36,660 And find I'm king of the hill 409 00:22:37,340 --> 00:22:41,300 Top of the heap 410 00:22:41,300 --> 00:22:45,300 These little town blues 411 00:22:45,700 --> 00:22:49,660 Are melting away... 412 00:22:49,660 --> 00:22:57,500 I'll make a brand new start of it 413 00:22:57,550 --> 00:23:02,100 Repair and Synchronization by Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0 30704

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