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- Corrected by darthfrede -
-- www.addic7ed.com --
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Hard at it, Will? That's the spirit.
Got to keep the cash coming in.
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00:00:24,320 --> 00:00:27,560
I mean, all this ale and pie I'm
quaffing and gorging does not buy itself.
4
00:00:27,660 --> 00:00:28,540
No, Kit.
5
00:00:28,640 --> 00:00:30,640
And now that thou hast
faked thine own death
6
00:00:30,740 --> 00:00:32,780
and must ever crash
upon mine couch,
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00:00:32,880 --> 00:00:35,420
my household bills
soareth most steeply.
8
00:00:35,520 --> 00:00:38,340
Well, establishing a
new identity takes time.
9
00:00:38,440 --> 00:00:42,000
Yes, particularly if done
from a horizontal position.
10
00:00:42,100 --> 00:00:43,580
What are you writing, then?
Another Henry?
11
00:00:43,680 --> 00:00:46,280
You haven't churned one of those
out in at least a fortnight.
12
00:00:46,380 --> 00:00:49,920
I imagine all London is gagging for
Henry XIX, Part 12.
13
00:00:50,020 --> 00:00:52,060
No, not a history, Kit.
14
00:00:52,160 --> 00:00:54,300
Burbage demands yet another comedy.
15
00:00:54,400 --> 00:00:56,280
I think he's right,
people need escapism.
16
00:00:56,380 --> 00:00:57,660
We're living in dangerous times.
17
00:00:57,760 --> 00:00:59,980
Yeah, look at me.
I got killed in a fight.
18
00:01:00,080 --> 00:01:02,940
And now the hungriest,
thirstiest corpse in Southwark.
19
00:01:03,040 --> 00:01:07,120
Burbage also wants romance,
so I've decided to set the play in Venice,
20
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city of carnival, city of light.
21
00:01:09,240 --> 00:01:11,380
City of stink, more like.
I've been there.
22
00:01:11,480 --> 00:01:14,280
They've combined the transport
system with the sewage system
23
00:01:14,380 --> 00:01:17,480
and float about on a
shimmering sea of turdingtons.
24
00:01:17,580 --> 00:01:19,060
That's why
they're developing opera.
25
00:01:19,160 --> 00:01:21,340
Keeps them breathing
through their mouths.
26
00:01:21,440 --> 00:01:25,400
Well, I certainly can't think of any
other reason for developing opera.
27
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What's the story, master?
28
00:01:26,600 --> 00:01:28,220
I like a bit of the
old soppy stuff.
29
00:01:28,320 --> 00:01:31,300
Well, Portia, a noble lady,
has many suitors,
30
00:01:31,400 --> 00:01:34,370
so her father devises
a brilliant test of character
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00:01:34,470 --> 00:01:37,325
to discover the right man
for his beloved child.
32
00:01:37,425 --> 00:01:40,280
He hides his permission
in one of three boxes.
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00:01:40,380 --> 00:01:43,440
A gold box,
a silver box and a lead box.
34
00:01:43,540 --> 00:01:44,660
Now, here's the stunner.
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00:01:44,760 --> 00:01:46,510
The permission is
contained within...
36
00:01:46,610 --> 00:01:48,360
- [BOTH] The lead box.
- ...the lead bo...
37
00:01:49,640 --> 00:01:50,990
How did you know that?
38
00:01:51,090 --> 00:01:52,440
Well, cos it's obvious.
39
00:01:52,540 --> 00:01:53,420
Why?
40
00:01:53,520 --> 00:01:56,560
If you were offered a gold casket,
a silver one or a lead one,
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00:01:56,660 --> 00:01:57,900
you'd choose the gold one.
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Yeah, but you didn't say,
"Choose a casket and you can keep it,"
43
00:02:00,500 --> 00:02:01,860
you said it were
a test of character.
44
00:02:01,960 --> 00:02:05,240
And gloriously, stunningly obviously,
the lucky note's going to be concealed
45
00:02:05,340 --> 00:02:07,000
in the least showy
and ostentatious box.
46
00:02:07,100 --> 00:02:07,900
Duh!
47
00:02:08,000 --> 00:02:09,260
Well, I think it's brilliant,
48
00:02:09,360 --> 00:02:11,920
and you're just jealous
cos you didn't think of it.
49
00:02:12,020 --> 00:02:13,440
Yeah, well, nor did you,
as it happens.
50
00:02:13,540 --> 00:02:14,460
I bloomin' did!
51
00:02:14,560 --> 00:02:17,480
Sorry, mate, you pinched it from
a collection of medieval stories
52
00:02:17,580 --> 00:02:18,380
called Gesta Romanorum,
53
00:02:18,480 --> 00:02:20,520
which Kate's reading and
which she leaves in the privy.
54
00:02:20,620 --> 00:02:21,540
Well, I...
55
00:02:21,640 --> 00:02:23,660
I may have glanced at it
56
00:02:23,760 --> 00:02:25,300
while awaiting the appearance
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00:02:25,400 --> 00:02:27,740
of that which the cockney
costermongers have,
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00:02:27,840 --> 00:02:31,200
in tribute to me and in the manner
of their amusing rhyming slang,
59
00:02:31,300 --> 00:02:33,080
termed a "Richard III."
60
00:02:34,520 --> 00:02:37,460
Ah!
It's cos it rhymes, is it?
61
00:02:37,560 --> 00:02:40,240
I thought it was because they
thought your play was crap.
62
00:02:41,360 --> 00:02:42,340
I kind of think it is.
63
00:02:42,440 --> 00:02:44,540
No, definitely because it rhymes.
64
00:02:44,640 --> 00:02:47,420
And yes, Kit, 'tis possible that,
as I awaited King Richard,
65
00:02:47,520 --> 00:02:51,920
who was as ever late upon his hour
due to a lack of fibre in my diet,
66
00:02:52,020 --> 00:02:54,220
I glanced at this Gesta Romanorum.
67
00:02:54,320 --> 00:02:56,520
Yes, in fact, I do recall now.
68
00:02:56,620 --> 00:02:57,780
I remember thinking,
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00:02:57,880 --> 00:03:01,080
"Goodness, some medieval fellow had
exactly the same idea for a plot as me!"
70
00:03:01,180 --> 00:03:03,660
What were the odds?
71
00:03:03,760 --> 00:03:06,640
So, what's this three casket business
got to do with a merchant, anyway?
72
00:03:06,740 --> 00:03:07,860
Is he Portia's suitor?
73
00:03:07,960 --> 00:03:08,980
No, that's Bassanio.
74
00:03:09,080 --> 00:03:12,520
But Bassanio is too poor to marry Portia,
so he asks his mate,
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00:03:12,620 --> 00:03:15,140
the merchant Antonio,
to lend him some cash.
76
00:03:15,240 --> 00:03:18,400
Unfortunately,
Antonio's cash is all tied up at sea,
77
00:03:18,500 --> 00:03:19,740
so he has to borrow it
78
00:03:19,840 --> 00:03:22,880
from a kindly old
moneylender called Timothy.
79
00:03:24,760 --> 00:03:29,400
Now, Timothy's daughter Jessica is in love
with Lorenzo, a friend of Bassanio's...
80
00:03:29,500 --> 00:03:31,260
Nodding off already.
81
00:03:31,360 --> 00:03:35,120
Sorry, mate, it sounds like a right load
of overconvoluted puffling porridge,
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00:03:35,220 --> 00:03:36,020
if you ask me.
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00:03:36,120 --> 00:03:37,170
Yeah, I kind of know.
84
00:03:37,270 --> 00:03:38,220
On the plus side,
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00:03:38,320 --> 00:03:41,200
overconvoluted puffling porridge
has never let you down before.
86
00:03:41,300 --> 00:03:43,500
But people like a bit of edge,
something new.
87
00:03:43,600 --> 00:03:48,780
I've got a clown called Launcelot Gobbo,
which is a very funny name.
88
00:03:49,080 --> 00:03:50,420
But what else?
89
00:03:50,520 --> 00:03:54,640
I need a big, important, timeless issue
to put at the heart of the new piece.
90
00:03:54,740 --> 00:03:56,840
But it's not as if a big,
important, timeless issue
91
00:03:56,940 --> 00:03:59,040
is just going to come
walking through the door.
92
00:03:59,140 --> 00:04:01,000
Gosh, that was scary!
93
00:04:01,100 --> 00:04:02,860
But also wonderful,
94
00:04:02,960 --> 00:04:06,160
being part of such a big,
important, timeless issue.
95
00:04:06,260 --> 00:04:07,760
Goodness, Kate,
where have you been?
96
00:04:07,860 --> 00:04:09,020
At the anti-immigrant riots.
97
00:04:09,120 --> 00:04:11,540
I've been on the
counterdemonstration,
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00:04:11,640 --> 00:04:14,880
defending the French and Dutch
refugees who have come here
99
00:04:14,980 --> 00:04:17,740
escaping religious
persecution on the Continent.
100
00:04:17,840 --> 00:04:20,500
It's worse than the Dutch
church riots of 1593.
101
00:04:20,600 --> 00:04:23,640
Yes, I fear anti-European
sentiment is getting worse.
102
00:04:25,120 --> 00:04:26,940
Well, they're everywhere,
103
00:04:27,040 --> 00:04:29,350
talking foreign and
eating weird food.
104
00:04:29,450 --> 00:04:31,760
Soft cheese?
What's all that about?!
105
00:04:31,860 --> 00:04:33,940
Cheese is meant to be hard.
106
00:04:34,040 --> 00:04:36,380
When I see soft,
runny cheese for sale at market...
107
00:04:36,480 --> 00:04:40,080
Ugh, I feel alienated and
uncomfortable in my own city.
108
00:04:40,180 --> 00:04:42,420
The other day,
I was confronted by a furious crowd
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00:04:42,520 --> 00:04:45,360
because a woman thought
I was concealing a baguette in my tights.
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- Yeah.
- Laughable misunderstanding, of course.
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00:04:48,740 --> 00:04:50,540
Just pleased to see her.
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The times really are turning ugly.
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00:04:53,480 --> 00:04:56,920
Our maids and matrons protest group
was continually interrupted
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by groups of apprentice boys
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00:04:58,600 --> 00:05:01,640
demanding that we display
to them our boobingtons
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00:05:01,740 --> 00:05:03,260
and even threatening our honour.
117
00:05:03,360 --> 00:05:08,440
Strange how some men's considered response
to a woman expressing a political view
118
00:05:08,540 --> 00:05:12,100
or merely going about her business,
is sexual harassment.
119
00:05:12,200 --> 00:05:14,300
I'm sure that in centuries hence
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00:05:14,400 --> 00:05:16,710
men will be sufficiently
emotionally mature
121
00:05:16,810 --> 00:05:19,120
to reject such
patriarchal intimidation.
122
00:05:19,220 --> 00:05:20,380
Or, if not,
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00:05:20,480 --> 00:05:25,000
women will finally begin to stand up to it
and name and shame those responsible.
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00:05:25,100 --> 00:05:26,500
Blimey, Kate, have a care.
125
00:05:26,600 --> 00:05:29,020
I mean, that could go horribly,
horribly wrong.
126
00:05:29,120 --> 00:05:32,590
I mean, what of jolly banter?
What of harmless japes and japey japes?
127
00:05:32,690 --> 00:05:36,160
Why, if women were to set out on
such a chillingly threatening course,
128
00:05:36,260 --> 00:05:40,520
I mean, men would scarce be able
to admire a pertsome bum-shank,
129
00:05:40,620 --> 00:05:43,680
insist upon an overly long hug
with a junior employee
130
00:05:43,780 --> 00:05:46,840
or make creepy observations
masquerading as compliments
131
00:05:46,940 --> 00:05:48,020
at Christmas parties.
132
00:05:48,120 --> 00:05:50,710
Strangely,
I think I could live with that.
133
00:05:50,810 --> 00:05:53,275
In the meantime,
the only comfort we may take
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00:05:53,375 --> 00:05:55,740
from this awful anti-European
rioting is that,
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00:05:55,840 --> 00:05:58,080
if ever such an influx of
foreigners happens again,
136
00:05:58,180 --> 00:05:59,920
Government can prepare
for it properly...
137
00:06:01,520 --> 00:06:04,560
affording extra funding for
expanded community services
138
00:06:04,660 --> 00:06:07,240
and not simply dumping
the incoming migrants
139
00:06:07,340 --> 00:06:08,540
on the poorest areas.
140
00:06:08,640 --> 00:06:10,880
Yes, at least if those
lessons are learned,
141
00:06:10,980 --> 00:06:12,820
then something good
will come of this.
142
00:06:12,920 --> 00:06:14,660
Meanwhile,
I can't talk about prejudice,
143
00:06:14,760 --> 00:06:16,760
bigotry and intolerance
of minorities all day,
144
00:06:16,860 --> 00:06:18,700
I have to find a big,
important issue
145
00:06:18,800 --> 00:06:21,240
to put at the heart of my
Merchant Of Venice.
146
00:06:25,600 --> 00:06:27,220
What do you think of this?
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00:06:27,320 --> 00:06:29,260
Antonio, the merchant of Venice,
148
00:06:29,360 --> 00:06:31,840
wants a loan from Timothy,
the moneylender.
149
00:06:31,940 --> 00:06:35,460
Antonio:
"Can I borrow 3,000 ducats?"
150
00:06:35,560 --> 00:06:37,840
Timothy:
"No problem, pay me back when you can."
151
00:06:39,360 --> 00:06:43,400
It's almost there, I just think it
needs a bit of edge, a bit of tension,
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00:06:43,500 --> 00:06:45,740
some issue which divides them.
153
00:06:45,840 --> 00:06:48,380
Well, you can't be worrying about
divisive issues now, master,
154
00:06:48,480 --> 00:06:51,840
because with all this hatred of
minorities and anti-foreigner rioting,
155
00:06:51,940 --> 00:06:53,800
you're going to be
late for the theatre,
156
00:06:53,900 --> 00:06:55,660
so you'd better give
yourself extra time.
157
00:06:55,760 --> 00:06:58,640
Yes, you're right, Botsky.
We're auditioning a new actor.
158
00:06:58,740 --> 00:06:59,860
Why not come along, Kate?
159
00:06:59,960 --> 00:07:01,950
I'd value the totty viewpoint.
160
00:07:02,250 --> 00:07:03,940
I'd love to, Mr Shakespeare!
161
00:07:04,040 --> 00:07:07,020
And good experience for me,
since, as you know,
162
00:07:07,120 --> 00:07:10,400
if ever the law be changed and
as a woman I be allowed to act,
163
00:07:10,500 --> 00:07:12,940
then as a strong woman,
who is strong,
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00:07:13,040 --> 00:07:16,680
I shall straightway announce that
my real ambition is to direct.
165
00:07:17,720 --> 00:07:19,990
I really admire you for that, Kate.
166
00:07:20,090 --> 00:07:22,260
Got to follow your
insane delusions.
167
00:07:22,360 --> 00:07:26,240
I truly believe that if you dare to
have a big enough insane delusion,
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00:07:26,340 --> 00:07:28,480
then anything is possible.
169
00:07:31,520 --> 00:07:32,660
Where is Will?
170
00:07:32,760 --> 00:07:36,800
This new actor is expected any moment
and Will is late upon his hour!
171
00:07:36,900 --> 00:07:40,520
Sorry, the anti-immigrant protests
have closed half the town.
172
00:07:40,620 --> 00:07:43,180
Some say it could
be as bad as 1517,
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00:07:43,280 --> 00:07:46,160
when the blood of butchered foreigners
did flow through London streets
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00:07:46,260 --> 00:07:48,680
and Sir Thomas More
himself faced down the mob.
175
00:07:48,780 --> 00:07:51,300
You're so old you
were probably there!
176
00:07:51,400 --> 00:07:54,680
Old fart phobic or bravely
challenging old fart phobia?
177
00:07:54,780 --> 00:07:56,180
You decide.
178
00:07:56,280 --> 00:07:57,620
Yes.
But to business!
179
00:07:57,720 --> 00:08:00,560
We are assembled to consider
acquiring this new player,
180
00:08:00,660 --> 00:08:02,760
who's causing quite a stir.
181
00:08:02,860 --> 00:08:03,860
I've asked Kate along.
182
00:08:03,960 --> 00:08:06,600
I thought it could be useful
to get a woman's perspective.
183
00:08:06,700 --> 00:08:07,900
Such a privilege.
184
00:08:08,000 --> 00:08:10,520
As long as she doesn't try
and get the job herself.
185
00:08:10,620 --> 00:08:12,320
We've seen her
girlish tricks before.
186
00:08:12,420 --> 00:08:14,380
On my honour, sir.
187
00:08:14,480 --> 00:08:17,230
There's no honour when it
comes to getting a part, ducky.
188
00:08:17,330 --> 00:08:19,980
I've torn the coconuts off
more convincing girls than you!
189
00:08:20,080 --> 00:08:23,320
So, what are the qualities we
should be looking for in this actor?
190
00:08:23,420 --> 00:08:25,760
Well, shouting, obviously.
191
00:08:25,860 --> 00:08:27,500
And strutting.
192
00:08:27,600 --> 00:08:31,440
Yes, we're looking for an actor
who can shout and strut.
193
00:08:35,880 --> 00:08:37,520
I am the actor Wolf Hall.
194
00:08:42,400 --> 00:08:45,580
But I do not shout
and I do not strut.
195
00:08:45,680 --> 00:08:48,940
I have developed
a revolutionary new style.
196
00:08:49,040 --> 00:08:54,000
Subtle, nuanced, emoting from within
by means of long, sad-eyed stares...
197
00:08:56,840 --> 00:08:58,910
pregnant with weary wisdom
198
00:08:59,010 --> 00:09:01,080
and penetrating perception.
199
00:09:03,640 --> 00:09:04,760
Next!
200
00:09:09,640 --> 00:09:12,480
Stay a moment, Burbage,
he may have something.
201
00:09:12,580 --> 00:09:15,160
Here is my Thomas Wolsey.
202
00:09:19,560 --> 00:09:23,240
And here, by way of contrast,
is my Thomas Cromwell.
203
00:09:29,920 --> 00:09:31,730
Now...
204
00:09:31,830 --> 00:09:33,540
[SIGHS]
205
00:09:33,640 --> 00:09:35,680
...my Thomas More.
206
00:09:41,320 --> 00:09:43,720
Actually, fair play,
he gives good Thomas.
207
00:09:44,880 --> 00:09:47,400
I must admit,
he is subtle and nuanced.
208
00:09:47,500 --> 00:09:48,980
Those eyes, so sad.
209
00:09:49,080 --> 00:09:52,930
And so pregnant with weary wisdom
and penetrating perception.
210
00:09:53,030 --> 00:09:56,880
I imagine audiences will happily
watch the actor Wolf Hall
211
00:09:56,980 --> 00:10:00,100
stare wearily and wisely
for minutes at a time.
212
00:10:00,200 --> 00:10:03,760
Blimey! If we had him in a show,
my plays would be twice as long.
213
00:10:05,720 --> 00:10:08,560
Richard III would be
eight or nine hours!
214
00:10:08,660 --> 00:10:10,660
How good would that be?
215
00:10:10,760 --> 00:10:12,740
Book him, Mr Burbage.
Trust me.
216
00:10:12,840 --> 00:10:15,840
Us brainy birds will go
totally wibbly-wobbly
217
00:10:15,940 --> 00:10:17,340
for an actor like that.
218
00:10:17,440 --> 00:10:19,960
This gal's already a
member of the Wolf pack.
219
00:10:20,060 --> 00:10:21,360
Whoo!
220
00:10:22,360 --> 00:10:25,200
Well, he does have a certain presence,
I admit.
221
00:10:25,300 --> 00:10:27,420
Perhaps in smaller roles.
222
00:10:27,520 --> 00:10:32,390
There are no small roles
for the actor Wolf Hall, Mr Burbage.
223
00:10:32,490 --> 00:10:37,360
With a stare as weary,
penetrating and perceptive as this,
224
00:10:37,800 --> 00:10:40,440
every role is a lead.
225
00:10:45,920 --> 00:10:47,720
The actor Wolf Hall
bids you good day.
226
00:10:50,560 --> 00:10:52,900
God's boobikins.
227
00:10:53,000 --> 00:10:56,960
Shakespeare has found an actor
with eyes so sad and weary
228
00:10:57,060 --> 00:10:59,100
and a stare so astute
and penetrating
229
00:10:59,200 --> 00:11:03,370
that every brainy bird in London
will go wibbly-wobbly.
230
00:11:03,470 --> 00:11:06,945
So, 'tis agreed,
this Wolf Hall shall join our company,
231
00:11:07,045 --> 00:11:10,520
and Mr Shakespeare
will write a little part for him
232
00:11:10,620 --> 00:11:12,200
in his new Venetian comedy.
233
00:11:12,300 --> 00:11:13,480
Absolutely.
234
00:11:13,580 --> 00:11:14,660
Curses!
235
00:11:14,760 --> 00:11:18,600
Such subtle and nuanced acting
would lend wings to the Crow's verse
236
00:11:18,700 --> 00:11:21,680
and increase his fame tenfold.
237
00:11:21,780 --> 00:11:23,080
How can this be stopped?
238
00:11:24,080 --> 00:11:25,620
Well...
239
00:11:25,720 --> 00:11:28,110
If there's one thing
I know about actors,
240
00:11:28,210 --> 00:11:30,500
particularly the subtle
and nuanced kind,
241
00:11:30,600 --> 00:11:33,140
is that because they put on
funny voices for a living,
242
00:11:33,240 --> 00:11:36,920
they be in constant fear that
people will think them thick,
243
00:11:37,020 --> 00:11:39,220
thus will they loudly champion
244
00:11:39,320 --> 00:11:42,410
any exotic theorem or
obscure cause that comes their way
245
00:11:42,510 --> 00:11:45,600
in the mistaken belief that
it'll make them look clever.
246
00:11:47,640 --> 00:11:50,260
I begin to see my way.
247
00:11:51,115 --> 00:11:53,860
But first, Will,
let us to Miss Lucy's tavern,
248
00:11:53,960 --> 00:11:56,800
for we actors have a radical idea
to discuss with you
249
00:11:56,900 --> 00:11:58,440
to help the poor refugees.
250
00:11:59,720 --> 00:12:01,780
A benefit night for the refugees,
251
00:12:01,880 --> 00:12:04,220
with all London's
leading theatre stars?
252
00:12:04,320 --> 00:12:06,760
I think it's a wonderful idea.
Don't you, Miss Lucy?
253
00:12:06,860 --> 00:12:08,700
Oh, yes, Mr Shakespeare.
254
00:12:08,800 --> 00:12:11,450
Although,
as an escaped sex worker myself,
255
00:12:11,550 --> 00:12:13,785
I would say legal status,
safe sanctuary,
256
00:12:13,885 --> 00:12:16,020
ruthless prosecution
of people traffickers
257
00:12:16,120 --> 00:12:18,640
and, above all,
a global approach to the causes of the crisis
258
00:12:18,740 --> 00:12:19,780
would be better.
259
00:12:19,880 --> 00:12:21,540
But in the absence of these,
260
00:12:21,640 --> 00:12:25,440
I'd say a bunch of luvvie-kissies
showing off is as good a start as any.
261
00:12:26,760 --> 00:12:28,220
Then that's settled.
262
00:12:28,320 --> 00:12:30,990
Yes, well,
the concert will need a title.
263
00:12:31,090 --> 00:12:33,815
A day, I think.
We should name a special day.
264
00:12:33,915 --> 00:12:36,947
Well, many a time and oft
during our touring days
265
00:12:37,047 --> 00:12:39,980
did Condell and I perform
the big red nose gag.
266
00:12:40,080 --> 00:12:43,440
Where I took my inflated pig's
bladder and whacked him on the nose,
267
00:12:43,540 --> 00:12:44,660
causing it to go red.
268
00:12:44,760 --> 00:12:49,600
Brilliant! That's it!
We'll call our day Inflated Pig's Bladder Day.
269
00:12:49,700 --> 00:12:52,260
Ah, good!
270
00:12:52,360 --> 00:12:54,820
[LAUGHTER]
271
00:12:54,920 --> 00:12:56,820
Oh, it's going brilliantly!
272
00:12:56,920 --> 00:12:59,960
And look! Burbage and Condell
are going to do their joke.
273
00:13:00,060 --> 00:13:02,840
- Oh!
- [LAUGHTER]
274
00:13:02,940 --> 00:13:05,380
Oh!
275
00:13:05,480 --> 00:13:08,960
Oh, master, now I'll make
thy arse as red as thy nose!
276
00:13:09,060 --> 00:13:10,620
Oh!
277
00:13:10,720 --> 00:13:13,000
That's so funny!
278
00:13:14,200 --> 00:13:15,900
[SERIOUS]
Now, recently,
279
00:13:16,000 --> 00:13:18,610
on behalf of Inflated
Pig's Bladder Day,
280
00:13:18,710 --> 00:13:21,320
we visited a refugee
area in Shoreditch.
281
00:13:22,720 --> 00:13:27,160
We saw clogless Dutchmen
begging for cheese and stroopwafel.
282
00:13:29,440 --> 00:13:31,340
Frenchmen so weak with hunger
283
00:13:31,440 --> 00:13:34,740
they had not the strength
to cheat on their wives.
284
00:13:34,840 --> 00:13:38,840
I can't deny that the moments of harsh,
documentary reality
285
00:13:38,940 --> 00:13:40,380
sit rather uncomfortably
286
00:13:40,480 --> 00:13:43,140
against the hilarity
of the bum-kicking gags.
287
00:13:43,240 --> 00:13:46,680
Yes, it does feel like rather
a strange juxtaposition.
288
00:13:46,780 --> 00:13:48,740
Still, the benefit night
is a new art form.
289
00:13:48,840 --> 00:13:51,360
No doubt in future ages
they'll have found a way round that one.
290
00:13:51,460 --> 00:13:53,500
You've got to hope so.
291
00:13:53,600 --> 00:13:59,080
Which means that we have
raised the amazing amount of...
292
00:14:00,115 --> 00:14:04,880
Four pounds, 18 shillings and tuppence!
293
00:14:05,260 --> 00:14:08,620
Thank you, London!
Thank you!
294
00:14:08,720 --> 00:14:10,500
Well.
Sounds like an amazing result.
295
00:14:10,600 --> 00:14:12,720
I mean, I wish I wasn't in hiding
and could have been there.
296
00:14:12,820 --> 00:14:14,480
Nearly �5!
That's a hell of a lot!
297
00:14:14,580 --> 00:14:15,780
[ALL] Hey!
298
00:14:15,880 --> 00:14:17,100
Although, not so much
299
00:14:17,200 --> 00:14:19,840
if you consider
that a full great ship of the line
300
00:14:19,940 --> 00:14:21,540
cost the Exchequer about 2,000.
301
00:14:21,640 --> 00:14:23,840
Well, you hear a lot of
that sort of argument
302
00:14:23,940 --> 00:14:25,480
from gloomy naysayers,
Miss Lucy,
303
00:14:25,580 --> 00:14:27,100
but five quid's five quid,
304
00:14:27,200 --> 00:14:28,630
and without tonight's benefit,
305
00:14:28,730 --> 00:14:30,160
all we'd have would be nothing.
306
00:14:30,260 --> 00:14:31,860
[ALL] Hey!
307
00:14:31,960 --> 00:14:34,330
Except that maybe,
without charity nights like tonight,
308
00:14:34,430 --> 00:14:36,800
people wouldn't be able to think
they'd achieved something
309
00:14:36,900 --> 00:14:39,220
when, really,
nothing's changed at all.
310
00:14:39,320 --> 00:14:41,860
And without that comforting illusion,
they might be more minded
311
00:14:41,960 --> 00:14:46,070
to agitate for genuine political change,
which could make an actual difference.
312
00:14:46,170 --> 00:14:50,280
I mean, you could argue that charity
affords politicians an excuse for inaction
313
00:14:50,380 --> 00:14:52,920
and exploiters the
pretence of a conscience.
314
00:14:55,120 --> 00:14:57,400
Still, we raised nearly �5!
315
00:14:57,500 --> 00:14:59,580
[ALL] Hey!
316
00:14:59,680 --> 00:15:01,700
But it would be wonderful
to do something more
317
00:15:01,800 --> 00:15:04,480
than just raise money,
don't you think, Mr Shakespeare?
318
00:15:04,580 --> 00:15:06,860
Something profound and timeless,
319
00:15:06,960 --> 00:15:09,400
a lasting reflection
on the corrosive nature
320
00:15:09,500 --> 00:15:10,900
of bigotry and intolerance.
321
00:15:11,000 --> 00:15:14,120
Well, that is undoubtedly true,
but I'm also very busy, Kate.
322
00:15:14,220 --> 00:15:16,680
I'm looking for a truly
timeless and universal issue
323
00:15:16,780 --> 00:15:18,280
to elevate my
Merchant Of Venice.
324
00:15:20,520 --> 00:15:21,900
Hang on...
325
00:15:22,000 --> 00:15:24,700
Hang the futtock on!
326
00:15:24,800 --> 00:15:27,740
Mr Hall.
If you join the Burbage company
327
00:15:27,840 --> 00:15:31,000
with your extraordinarily sad
but kindly eyes
328
00:15:31,100 --> 00:15:33,020
and weary, perceptive stare,
329
00:15:33,120 --> 00:15:35,060
you will without a doubt
soon become
330
00:15:35,160 --> 00:15:38,560
one of the greatest
Shakespearean players of your day.
331
00:15:38,660 --> 00:15:39,880
That much is certain.
332
00:15:39,980 --> 00:15:41,540
Hm.
333
00:15:41,640 --> 00:15:44,020
This Shakespeare...
334
00:15:44,120 --> 00:15:46,190
A curious thing, is he not?
335
00:15:46,290 --> 00:15:48,260
I mean, who could have imagined
336
00:15:48,360 --> 00:15:52,000
that a mere town-school
spotty-grotty could write such verse?
337
00:15:52,100 --> 00:15:54,940
That a turnip-chewing,
country bum-shankle
338
00:15:55,040 --> 00:15:57,880
could produce such
insight and such wisdom?
339
00:15:57,980 --> 00:15:59,840
- 'Tis passing strange.
- Mm...
340
00:15:59,940 --> 00:16:01,820
One might almost imagine
341
00:16:01,920 --> 00:16:04,130
that some educated posh boy
342
00:16:04,230 --> 00:16:06,340
had writ his plays in secret.
343
00:16:06,440 --> 00:16:11,640
I don't know, a university man like
Sir Francis Bacon or the Earl of Oxford.
344
00:16:12,200 --> 00:16:14,180
Interesting.
Fascinating.
345
00:16:14,280 --> 00:16:16,570
Or Christopher Marlowe, perhaps!
346
00:16:16,670 --> 00:16:19,125
They say he's dead, but is he?
347
00:16:19,225 --> 00:16:21,580
The actor Wolf Hall is intrigued.
348
00:16:21,680 --> 00:16:26,640
He takes the bait, and thus do I prove
one of the great truths of life and art,
349
00:16:26,760 --> 00:16:30,640
that just because an actor looks intelligent
and can play intelligent
350
00:16:30,740 --> 00:16:33,960
doesn't mean
that he is intelligent.
351
00:16:38,320 --> 00:16:42,000
I wonder how Susanna's
getting on with her first day at work.
352
00:16:42,100 --> 00:16:43,500
I'm so proud of her.
353
00:16:43,600 --> 00:16:47,680
Well, I don't think it's fitting,
a maid teaching in a dame school.
354
00:16:47,780 --> 00:16:49,760
Oh, she's only helping
out with the younger ones,
355
00:16:49,860 --> 00:16:51,500
reading and writing.
356
00:16:51,600 --> 00:16:53,780
The responsibility'll do her good,
357
00:16:53,880 --> 00:16:56,440
stop her being
such a grumpy little bitchington.
358
00:16:56,540 --> 00:16:58,280
Where's my tea?
I'm starving!
359
00:16:58,380 --> 00:16:59,340
I had to walk home.
360
00:16:59,440 --> 00:17:02,520
Why couldn't Grandad pick me up in the cart?
What's he do all day?
361
00:17:02,620 --> 00:17:05,680
Nothing!
I hate my life! Shut up!
362
00:17:06,760 --> 00:17:07,900
Long day, love?
363
00:17:08,000 --> 00:17:10,640
What is this, the Star Chamber?
You're always on at me!
364
00:17:10,740 --> 00:17:13,380
Yes, it was a long day.
You happy now? Shut up!
365
00:17:13,480 --> 00:17:16,120
I actually think she
might be improving a bit.
366
00:17:16,220 --> 00:17:18,160
Well, tell us a bit about it.
367
00:17:18,260 --> 00:17:19,540
Were the boys nice?
368
00:17:19,640 --> 00:17:22,050
No, they're a bunch
of nasty little swine.
369
00:17:22,150 --> 00:17:24,460
There's this one kid
who's a bit different,
370
00:17:24,560 --> 00:17:27,920
you know, what they call a holy innocent,
and they are so mean to him.
371
00:17:28,020 --> 00:17:30,320
We had a boy like that in my class.
372
00:17:30,420 --> 00:17:31,460
Brilliant!
373
00:17:31,560 --> 00:17:33,560
We used to call him stupid.
374
00:17:33,660 --> 00:17:34,780
Wasn't any harm in it.
375
00:17:34,880 --> 00:17:36,440
We used to play tricks on him.
376
00:17:36,540 --> 00:17:37,860
Wasn't any harm in it.
377
00:17:37,960 --> 00:17:39,840
We used to steal his lunch,
378
00:17:39,940 --> 00:17:40,900
chuck him in the pond
379
00:17:41,000 --> 00:17:45,200
and reduce him to a weeping,
sobbing wretch in the corner.
380
00:17:45,300 --> 00:17:46,360
Wasn't any...
381
00:17:47,480 --> 00:17:48,840
harm in it.
382
00:17:50,240 --> 00:17:52,330
Actually, when I think about it,
383
00:17:52,430 --> 00:17:54,420
there was quite a lot
of harm in it,
384
00:17:54,520 --> 00:17:56,560
which is why I try
not to think about it.
385
00:17:58,120 --> 00:18:00,620
So thanks a lot for bringing it up,
Susanna!
386
00:18:01,480 --> 00:18:05,240
My class is full of insensitive bastables
like Grandad was.
387
00:18:05,340 --> 00:18:07,320
I just wish there was
a way I could make them see
388
00:18:07,420 --> 00:18:09,720
that this kid has
exactly the same feelings
389
00:18:09,820 --> 00:18:12,020
and exactly the same
human value as they do.
390
00:18:12,120 --> 00:18:15,150
Well, maybe you should speak
to your father about it.
391
00:18:15,250 --> 00:18:18,280
He can be very astute on
matters of human nature.
392
00:18:18,380 --> 00:18:20,940
He knows a bit about
being bullied, too.
393
00:18:21,040 --> 00:18:23,600
He started going bald
when he was seven.
394
00:18:25,040 --> 00:18:28,320
I'll put an outsider
at the centre of my Venice play.
395
00:18:28,420 --> 00:18:29,740
Despised and belittled.
396
00:18:29,840 --> 00:18:32,820
I'll make him the moneylender
and create an iconic figure
397
00:18:32,920 --> 00:18:37,000
who will stand for all time
as an affront to prejudice and bigotry.
398
00:18:37,100 --> 00:18:38,940
Such a brilliant idea!
399
00:18:39,040 --> 00:18:40,300
I can't deny, it seems strong.
400
00:18:40,400 --> 00:18:42,240
So what type of outsider
are you going to make him?
401
00:18:42,340 --> 00:18:43,780
Well, isn't it obvious?
402
00:18:43,880 --> 00:18:45,225
I'll make the moneylender...
403
00:18:45,325 --> 00:18:47,220
a Dutchman.
404
00:18:48,320 --> 00:18:50,600
These riots are about
European refugees,
405
00:18:50,700 --> 00:18:51,700
and I can't go French
406
00:18:51,800 --> 00:18:55,840
because even my huge brain would struggle
to find sympathetic qualities there.
407
00:18:55,940 --> 00:18:57,980
So Dutch it is.
408
00:18:58,080 --> 00:19:02,600
Laas, a villainous but
ultimately deeply human Dutchman.
409
00:19:02,700 --> 00:19:04,500
A tall, blond man in clogs
410
00:19:04,600 --> 00:19:06,940
fond of rubbery cheese
and high-quality beer,
411
00:19:07,040 --> 00:19:11,120
yet somehow managing to maintain
a trim and attractive figure.
412
00:19:11,220 --> 00:19:14,140
- Isn't it brilliant?
- Hm, I'm not sure.
413
00:19:14,240 --> 00:19:16,160
Then it's a good thing
I'm the genius, isn't it?
414
00:19:16,260 --> 00:19:18,940
So, Antonio has asked for his loan,
415
00:19:19,040 --> 00:19:20,940
and Dutch Laas is
reflecting on the fact
416
00:19:21,040 --> 00:19:25,720
that this same Antonio has insulted him
and plotted against him on the rialto.
417
00:19:25,820 --> 00:19:27,260
Kate, read it out for me.
418
00:19:27,360 --> 00:19:28,940
You have something of the subtlety
419
00:19:29,040 --> 00:19:31,120
that I believe Wolf Hall
will bring to the role.
420
00:19:33,640 --> 00:19:38,480
[DUTCH ACCENT] You hath disgraced me,
laughed at my losses, mocked at my gains,
421
00:19:38,580 --> 00:19:43,280
scorned at my nation.
And what's his reason? I am Dutch.
422
00:19:43,380 --> 00:19:45,120
[ALL STIFLE LAUGHTER]
423
00:19:47,720 --> 00:19:50,760
Excuse me, but, Bottom, Marlowe,
why are you laughing?
424
00:19:50,860 --> 00:19:53,340
- Sorry, can't help it.
- It's the accent.
425
00:19:53,440 --> 00:19:56,500
I beg your pardon,
I do a very good Dutch accent.
426
00:19:56,600 --> 00:20:00,240
It just seems to play against
the timeless majesty of the poetry.
427
00:20:00,340 --> 00:20:01,620
Well, surely that's the whole point.
428
00:20:01,720 --> 00:20:04,120
People are alienated
by things they're unfamiliar with
429
00:20:04,220 --> 00:20:05,920
and thus despise them.
430
00:20:06,020 --> 00:20:07,720
Kate, please, proceed.
431
00:20:07,820 --> 00:20:08,940
[CLEARS THROAT]
432
00:20:09,040 --> 00:20:11,640
[DUTCH ACCENT]
If you prick us, do we not bleed?
433
00:20:11,740 --> 00:20:14,680
If you tickle us, do we not laugh?
434
00:20:14,780 --> 00:20:17,620
If you poison us, do we not die?
435
00:20:17,720 --> 00:20:20,710
And if you wrong us,
shall we not revenge?
436
00:20:20,810 --> 00:20:23,115
[DUTCH ACCENT]
Actually, Mr Shakespeare...
437
00:20:23,215 --> 00:20:25,420
[NORMAL VOICE]
Actually, Mr Shakespeare,
438
00:20:25,520 --> 00:20:28,370
it is quite difficult to get
the required gravitas doing it Dutch.
439
00:20:28,470 --> 00:20:31,320
Yeah, and the clogs are going to make
a terrible racket on the stage!
440
00:20:31,420 --> 00:20:32,780
Also, it strikes me that,
441
00:20:32,880 --> 00:20:35,160
if you still want to
set the play in Venice,
442
00:20:35,260 --> 00:20:36,500
that doesn't work either.
443
00:20:36,600 --> 00:20:38,140
The Venetians don't hate the Dutch.
444
00:20:38,240 --> 00:20:41,720
In fact, Holland's maritime success
has made them trading partners.
445
00:20:41,820 --> 00:20:43,720
Yeah, to be fair, Will,
this anti-Dutch thing
446
00:20:43,820 --> 00:20:45,060
is pretty recent, even in Britain.
447
00:20:45,160 --> 00:20:47,030
I mean, they've been
our allies in the past.
448
00:20:47,130 --> 00:20:49,000
People only hate the Dutch
at the moment.
449
00:20:49,100 --> 00:20:50,500
Damn!
You're right.
450
00:20:50,600 --> 00:20:55,480
If I'm to create a timeless classic,
I need a group that everybody persecutes,
451
00:20:55,580 --> 00:20:56,780
a people who truly encapsulate
452
00:20:56,880 --> 00:21:00,240
the eternal nature
of ignorant prejudice and bigotry.
453
00:21:00,340 --> 00:21:01,600
But who can it be?
454
00:21:01,700 --> 00:21:03,040
A ginge?
455
00:21:05,520 --> 00:21:08,720
Yes, Bottom. Absolutely.
A ginge would be perfect.
456
00:21:08,820 --> 00:21:11,320
Carrot Top,
the ginger moneylender of Venice.
457
00:21:11,420 --> 00:21:13,060
The play will write itself.
458
00:21:13,160 --> 00:21:15,360
Except, hang on!
There is one thing...
459
00:21:15,460 --> 00:21:16,640
The Queen's a ginge.
460
00:21:17,640 --> 00:21:20,820
Mr Shakespeare,
we can avoid the obvious no longer.
461
00:21:20,920 --> 00:21:24,720
We seek a people who are
universally vilified and despised.
462
00:21:24,820 --> 00:21:27,040
There can be only one contender.
463
00:21:27,140 --> 00:21:28,160
Of course...
464
00:21:28,260 --> 00:21:29,280
A Scot!
465
00:21:30,440 --> 00:21:32,530
Don't be ridiculous,
Mr Shakespeare.
466
00:21:32,630 --> 00:21:34,620
How can anyone dislike the Scots?
467
00:21:34,720 --> 00:21:37,960
They are perfect in every way,
as they keep telling us.
468
00:21:38,975 --> 00:21:40,460
Think about it, Mr Shakespeare.
469
00:21:40,560 --> 00:21:42,800
What we've learned from
the riots here in London
470
00:21:42,900 --> 00:21:44,580
is that people blame their troubles
471
00:21:44,680 --> 00:21:47,120
on any convenient minority
living amongst them,
472
00:21:47,220 --> 00:21:49,020
and there's one group of people
473
00:21:49,120 --> 00:21:51,800
who are always in the minority
wherever they go.
474
00:21:51,900 --> 00:21:55,400
It's time for another big Jew play.
475
00:21:58,960 --> 00:22:01,520
I am to give my Jew once more.
476
00:22:01,620 --> 00:22:03,820
Oh, joy!
Oh, joy!
477
00:22:03,920 --> 00:22:05,880
I shall have a new
prop nose built.
478
00:22:05,980 --> 00:22:08,220
Huge and hooked and warty.
479
00:22:08,320 --> 00:22:11,380
And I shall hiss
and lurk and prowl.
480
00:22:11,480 --> 00:22:15,760
And I'll have a stock of prop babies
hidden beneath my black, sinister gown,
481
00:22:15,860 --> 00:22:18,460
from which
I shall drink stage blood!
482
00:22:18,560 --> 00:22:23,040
Mr Burbage, the character is supposed
to be at least partially sympathetic.
483
00:22:23,140 --> 00:22:25,580
Sympathetic Jew?
Ha! Are you mad?!
484
00:22:25,680 --> 00:22:28,640
Such a thing has ne'er been known
in all European culture.
485
00:22:28,740 --> 00:22:30,540
That's what's going to
make the play so memorable.
486
00:22:30,640 --> 00:22:34,760
Oh, so do you think I should tone down
the baby blood-drinking bit or...?
487
00:22:34,860 --> 00:22:36,580
Yes, well,
that's kind of the point.
488
00:22:36,680 --> 00:22:39,920
We're trying to rewrite the rules
a bit on stage Jews here.
489
00:22:40,020 --> 00:22:42,320
Speaking of which,
all this "do we not bleed" stuff,
490
00:22:42,420 --> 00:22:43,980
as if they're the same as us,
491
00:22:44,080 --> 00:22:46,200
I presume you want me
to play that for laughs.
492
00:22:46,300 --> 00:22:48,140
- Laughs?
- Yes, it's a joke.
493
00:22:48,240 --> 00:22:50,320
Obviously,
Jews are not the same as us.
494
00:22:50,420 --> 00:22:52,620
They are a wicked, naughty people.
495
00:22:52,720 --> 00:22:56,240
They drink the blood of Christian babies
and they poison Christian wells.
496
00:22:56,340 --> 00:22:59,600
They deliberately created
and spread bubonic plague. Fact.
497
00:22:59,700 --> 00:23:02,680
But have you ever actually
seen any of these things?
498
00:23:02,780 --> 00:23:05,080
Are you suggesting
all this stuff is made up?
499
00:23:05,180 --> 00:23:06,300
Well, you have to wonder.
500
00:23:06,400 --> 00:23:09,660
I mean, they're supposed to secretly
run the world for their own advantage.
501
00:23:09,760 --> 00:23:13,640
Well, if that's true, quite frankly,
they're not doing much of a job, are they?
502
00:23:13,740 --> 00:23:16,720
I mean, they get hounded,
beaten and murdered wherever they go.
503
00:23:16,820 --> 00:23:18,780
Hath not a Jew eyes?
504
00:23:18,880 --> 00:23:20,840
Hath not a Jew hands,
505
00:23:20,940 --> 00:23:22,620
organs,
506
00:23:22,720 --> 00:23:24,930
dimensions, senses,
507
00:23:25,030 --> 00:23:27,105
affections, passions?
508
00:23:27,205 --> 00:23:29,452
Fed with the same food,
509
00:23:29,552 --> 00:23:31,786
hurt with the same weapons,
510
00:23:31,886 --> 00:23:33,893
subject to the same diseases,
511
00:23:33,993 --> 00:23:35,900
healed by the same means,
512
00:23:36,000 --> 00:23:41,040
warmed and cooled by the same winter
and summer as a Christian is?
513
00:23:42,480 --> 00:23:45,310
If you prick us, do we not bleed?
514
00:23:45,410 --> 00:23:48,375
If you tickle us, do we not laugh?
515
00:23:48,475 --> 00:23:51,440
If you poison us, do we not die?
516
00:23:52,720 --> 00:23:54,970
And if you wrong us,
517
00:23:55,070 --> 00:23:57,320
shall we not revenge?
518
00:23:58,720 --> 00:24:02,560
Mr Burbage,
Wolf Hall must play the Jew!
519
00:24:02,660 --> 00:24:04,340
I'm sorry, that's impossible.
520
00:24:04,440 --> 00:24:06,340
I, Burbage,
always play the title role.
521
00:24:06,440 --> 00:24:09,280
Oh, well, that's all right, then.
The title role is Antonio.
522
00:24:09,380 --> 00:24:12,540
- Antonio?
- Yes, Antonio is the merchant of Venice.
523
00:24:12,640 --> 00:24:15,800
- Really?
- No-one's ever going to get that. Ever.
524
00:24:17,480 --> 00:24:21,320
For evermore, people will presume
Shylock is the merchant of Venice.
525
00:24:21,420 --> 00:24:23,160
Well, he isn't.
Antonio is.
526
00:24:23,260 --> 00:24:24,220
Very well,
527
00:24:24,320 --> 00:24:27,150
then I shall give my Antonio.
528
00:24:27,250 --> 00:24:29,980
And Mr Hall will play the Jew,
529
00:24:30,080 --> 00:24:33,120
my most startlingly nuanced
creation to date.
530
00:24:33,220 --> 00:24:34,980
A villainous character, of course,
531
00:24:35,080 --> 00:24:38,070
but also with human emotions
and even nobility.
532
00:24:38,170 --> 00:24:41,160
Wolf Hall, it is an honour
to have you in my play.
533
00:24:41,260 --> 00:24:42,460
Yes, it is.
534
00:24:42,560 --> 00:24:46,280
Oh, although,
of course, it isn't your play.
535
00:24:46,780 --> 00:24:48,820
- Not my play?
- You didn't write it.
536
00:24:48,920 --> 00:24:50,500
Nor indeed any of your plays.
537
00:24:50,600 --> 00:24:52,920
- What?
- 'Twas another scribe, I'm certain.
538
00:24:53,020 --> 00:24:54,420
A posh boy, no doubt?
539
00:24:54,520 --> 00:24:57,230
Didn't write my plays?
That's insane!
540
00:24:57,330 --> 00:24:59,490
Burbage, Condell, Kempe,
back me up here.
541
00:24:59,590 --> 00:25:01,380
Well, of course!
542
00:25:01,480 --> 00:25:03,740
But now it's been said, Will,
543
00:25:03,840 --> 00:25:05,480
it's hard to get out of your mind.
544
00:25:05,580 --> 00:25:06,580
I mean, innit weird?
545
00:25:06,680 --> 00:25:09,600
We've seen you write bits of them,
but now doubt's been put in my mind,
546
00:25:09,700 --> 00:25:10,940
um, you know...
547
00:25:11,040 --> 00:25:14,480
I can't help wondering if all
that proof is actually evidence
548
00:25:14,580 --> 00:25:16,520
of a vast conspiracy
to hide the truth.
549
00:25:16,620 --> 00:25:17,740
That you...
550
00:25:17,840 --> 00:25:18,960
did not...
551
00:25:20,000 --> 00:25:21,600
write your plays.
552
00:25:22,880 --> 00:25:24,340
Shut up!
553
00:25:24,440 --> 00:25:26,100
Shut up!
Stop saying it!
554
00:25:26,200 --> 00:25:28,100
By St Thomas's tiny testicles,
555
00:25:28,200 --> 00:25:30,980
the more you say it,
the more I must needs debunk it,
556
00:25:31,080 --> 00:25:35,240
yet the very process of debunking it
lends credibility to the lie.
557
00:25:35,340 --> 00:25:37,980
Get out!
I ban you from my plays forever.
558
00:25:38,080 --> 00:25:40,720
You can go and do panto
in the provinces.
559
00:25:40,820 --> 00:25:42,400
How very rude!
560
00:25:44,000 --> 00:25:46,040
I was only expressing
reasonable doubt.
561
00:25:52,960 --> 00:25:55,680
The actor Wolf Hall
bids you goodbye.
562
00:25:57,320 --> 00:26:00,600
Well, Will, looks like you're
in need of a stage Jew.
563
00:26:00,700 --> 00:26:03,160
Shylock is still not
the title role, Burbage.
564
00:26:03,260 --> 00:26:05,180
The merchant of Venice is Antonio.
565
00:26:05,280 --> 00:26:08,760
Will, believe me, no-one is ever,
ever going to get that.
566
00:26:10,875 --> 00:26:12,060
Argh!
567
00:26:12,160 --> 00:26:14,240
[EXAGGERATED JEWISH ACCENT]
If you prick us, do we not bleed?
568
00:26:14,340 --> 00:26:16,740
If you poison us, do we not die?
569
00:26:16,840 --> 00:26:21,720
And if you wrong us,
shall we not revenge?!
570
00:26:21,820 --> 00:26:24,760
Oy vey, oy vey, oy vey...
571
00:26:24,860 --> 00:26:25,940
Argh!
572
00:26:26,040 --> 00:26:29,180
[AUDIENCE BOOS]
573
00:26:29,280 --> 00:26:31,650
Looks like promoting
tolerance and understanding
574
00:26:31,750 --> 00:26:34,120
might be a bit of a bigger project
than we thought.
575
00:26:34,220 --> 00:26:35,420
Yes, Mr Shakespeare.
576
00:26:35,520 --> 00:26:37,460
I fear it may be a long time
577
00:26:37,560 --> 00:26:41,640
before the play's message of inclusiveness
and tolerance finds an audience.
578
00:26:41,740 --> 00:26:44,540
Actually, I'm not so sure.
My daughter Susanna has asked
579
00:26:44,640 --> 00:26:47,440
if she might use a passage
from it as a teaching aid.
580
00:26:47,540 --> 00:26:49,280
Settle down!
581
00:26:50,600 --> 00:26:53,260
As you know, my dad's famous,
582
00:26:53,360 --> 00:26:55,620
and he's given me one of his speeches
to be recited
583
00:26:55,720 --> 00:26:59,000
for the next village gladsome gadabout,
to raise money for the school.
584
00:26:59,100 --> 00:27:02,960
And I have chosen one of you
to recite it.
585
00:27:03,060 --> 00:27:05,400
Up you get, Rodney.
586
00:27:05,500 --> 00:27:07,240
[SNICKERING]
587
00:27:11,480 --> 00:27:13,540
Hath I not eyes?
588
00:27:13,640 --> 00:27:18,640
Have I not hands, organs,
dimensions, senses,
589
00:27:18,760 --> 00:27:22,090
affections, passions?
590
00:27:22,190 --> 00:27:25,345
Fed with the same food,
591
00:27:25,445 --> 00:27:28,500
hurt with the same weapons?
592
00:27:28,600 --> 00:27:31,870
If you prick me, do I not bleed?
593
00:27:31,970 --> 00:27:34,815
If you tickle me, do I not laugh?
594
00:27:34,915 --> 00:27:37,760
If you poison me, do I not die?
595
00:27:43,800 --> 00:27:45,350
Nice one, Rodney.
596
00:27:50,680 --> 00:27:53,670
There's some lovely stuff
in that play, Will.
597
00:27:53,770 --> 00:27:56,660
And those lines Rodney said...
They were beautiful.
598
00:27:56,760 --> 00:28:00,560
And of course it represents a game-changing
moment in world culture.
599
00:28:00,660 --> 00:28:02,780
- You think?
- Oh, no doubt about it.
600
00:28:02,880 --> 00:28:05,960
In creating the world's first
slightly sympathetic Jew,
601
00:28:06,060 --> 00:28:08,160
I have set humanity upon a path
602
00:28:08,260 --> 00:28:09,700
which must lead inevitably
603
00:28:09,800 --> 00:28:14,400
to a world of universal tolerance,
peace, love and understanding.
604
00:28:14,500 --> 00:28:16,020
I am literally that good.
605
00:28:16,120 --> 00:28:17,640
Course you are, love.
606
00:28:19,280 --> 00:28:22,040
Do you know, I don't think
your hair's receding at all.
607
00:28:22,140 --> 00:28:23,260
Really, my sweet?
608
00:28:23,360 --> 00:28:24,380
That's encouraging.
609
00:28:24,480 --> 00:28:25,810
No, what's happened is...
610
00:28:25,910 --> 00:28:27,390
your head's got bigger.
611
00:28:30,696 --> 00:28:34,196
- Corrected by darthfrede -
-- www.addic7ed.com --
612
00:28:34,246 --> 00:28:38,796
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