All language subtitles for United States of Tara s01e07 Alterations.eng

Previously on United
States of Tara...

The minute they walk in here,
I just get...

I really don't want a transition.

Hell House? They're like haunting
houses, except they're run by a church.

I think you're joining the God squad
in order to get closer to Jason.

We knew when you were off the meds
the whole gang would resurface.

I can't understand why you need them,
unless we let them show themselves.

At boarding school, she had sex with
a guy she didn't want to have sex with.

Tara's roommate's
name was Heidi Sawyer.

- Does that help?
- Yeah, yeah. You bet.

I want a big house,
and I want a great fuckin' boyfriend.

And I am never gonna fuckin' have those
things because my idiot ex-husband

made me get a boob job,
and now I'm stuck with these!

- Write her a check.
- Mom!

- What the fuck?
- I wet the fucking bed.

Well, I made it.

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A lot of people just want to
be rescued from themselves.

They wish they could be
airlifted from their skin

and dropped into someone else's.

Me?

Just wish I could stay
the same for a whole week.

But then, ironically I'd be
a whole different person.

- See you next time.
- Thank you.

I'm sorry to just show up like this,

but things are getting
very hairy at home.

You wouldn't return my calls
and I need to talk to you.

Max, as your wife's therapist,
there are boundaries I have to observe.

I can't advise you.

- Now if Tara wants to come in...
- Please, I...

I think I saw something.

A new alter.

Completely new personality?

Tara's parents were visiting
us last week and it was a...

world of shit as usual. Whatever.

And I saw something,

in the middle of the night.

It wasn't Tara.

- Was like this...
- What was it?

It's like a weird poncho
goblin or something.

Poncho goblin.

It wasn't her.

It was like an animal.

It did stuff an animal would do.

Max,

I've really been educating
myself about this stuff lately.

Lately?

I shouldn't be speaking
to you at all, but...

It's very common

for there to be a child-like
or nocturnal alter.

I think this being
has manifested itself

because of Tara's lifetime
of secrets.

She's looking for
answers about her youth.

Maybe

whimsical nighttime play
helps her discover those answers.

This wasn't whimsical.

Tinkerbell's whimsical.
This little fucker pisses on people.

Tell you what.

Wait till Tara's next session.
You come with her

and we'll talk together

about the memories
that have triggered all this.

You think that'll work?

I think

having a professional
and a loved one

working in tandem
can be very productive.

Okay.

I trust you.

Thank you.

Okay, I've got
my prescriptions filled,

a big pillow,

a sports bra in my new size,

four DVD's starring Kate Hudson,

soft bland foods in case
the anesthesia makes me pukey, and...

Did you remember to get those
pudding snacks that I like?

I did but Kate ate
all the vanilla ones.

Okay, well someday
when Katy gets her tits done

I will get my revenge.

My child will never
be that insecure.

Tara,

I chose you to be
my post-surgery booby buddy

because I thought
you'd be supportive.

You of all people should know
what it's like to be judged.

I do.

I do. I just think you're beautiful
the way you are

and you don't need to change.

Just...

I'm gonna take great care of you.

You're gonna wake up in that operating
room on a fluffy vicodin cloud.

And I'm gonna take you home
and tuck you in

and put on "You, me, and Dupree".

- Okay.
- Could almost be fun,

except you'll have a drainage tube
in your chest

and moderate
to spectacular bruising.

Do you think Dr. Pete can fix me?

I'm wary of anyone
who calls himself "Dr. Pete".

Come on, Tara. Reassure me.

It's gonna be fine.

Just three little incisions

and everything will be fine.

Come here.

So we're just committing
random acts of violence?

Yeah, that's the main objective.

Mug the prostitute.
It's really funny.

You're right.
That's quite a delight.

So...

Can I ask you for some
advice on something weird?

Seriously?

You want advice from moi?

Your shallow big sister whom

- you've mocked and belittled?
- That's rich.

- Forget it.
- Come on.

Proceed.

Jason is ignoring me.

Ignore him back.

See, I'm surprised you'd say that.

I thought you'd tell me to,
like, pursue him boldly.

No.

I mean some people can be that, Moosh.
Like people like me.

But you have to play it cool.

The odds aren't really in your favor

because we don't even know
if Jason's a homo.

I mean I think he's a homo because
he has a bad case of gay face.

But even I can't know for sure.

I mean,
I see him at Hell House rehearsals.

But we're just so busy inhabiting
our characters and doing body work.

I just never get a good
excuse to talk to him.

Well, that's good.

That's great.
You have a mystique.

Don't talk to him.
Don't look at him.

Have you ever seen
that movie "Boomerang"?

Gotta play the player.

I didn't see that film.

Anyway, I just couldn't see
myself being so insincere.

- Just feels so fake and manipulative.
- Yeah.

I think you're the player.

No doubt.

I'm a baller, dude.

Hey, what are you
doing to the alphabets?

Well,

our son has a crush and our
daughter just filled out her first W-2.

I think we're officially
out of alphabet territory.

Yeah, they're not
our babies anymore.

You have any fun
memories from that age?

I barely remember anything.
You know that.

Oh, hey, are you gonna drive
Charmaine to Dr. Pete's?

I gotta help Kate with
her Jackson Pollock essay.

- Yeah, yeah.
- I'll pick her up after.

Are you telling me you never
snuck out of your dorm

to go see a boy
or something like that?

- What are you driving at?
- Nothing.

Just wanted to find out...

What made you.

What made me what?

A freak?

No.

I'm not your home
improvement project, Max.

Forget it. I'll get Charmaine.

Thank you.

Tell Tara to come get me
as soon as the clinic calls.

They said I could go home
45 minutes after I wake up.

Of course.

She's gonna stay with
me all night, right?

That's the plan.

So you get the whole
place to yourself.

Guys' night out.

Actually...

I'm gonna go meet Tara's
old roommate Heidi.

What?

Tall Heidi?

Turns out St. Ann's has quite
an alumni association.

There's only 14 Heidis since '89.

I don't know why you do
this to yourself. It's crazy.

'cause I want to find out
what happened to my wife.

- What caused this disorder.
- It's not a disorder.

It's a weakness.

All right, she does it to herself.
You know that.

Look, they're characters
she plays to...

You know, you're a shitty sister.

You know that?
She always sticks up for you.

I speak the truth
because I care about her.

I am the best sister in the world.

Now if you'll excuse me,
I have to go have major surgery.

- Elective surgery.
- Major.

- Majorly elective.
- Major.

Hey, Marshall.

Oh, hey.

What's up?

Oh, you know, this and that.

Hey, sorry I haven't, you know,
called you or been able to hang out.

Just been so busy.

- You know how it is.
- Yeah, sure.

I know.

Have fun doing that.

Hey, you want to come hang out
with us? We're doing paper mache.

It's French.

Enjoy yourselves.

Well...

Look who's up.

Where's Dr. Pete?

Dr. Pete's updating his video blog,
but he wanted me to tell you

your girls look gorgeous.

You've been napping on and off.

You're pretty much ready to go.

We called your support person.

Oh, she's here?

Yes, the person is here.

Nausea is common in
recovering patients.

Fine by me.

Long as it ain't coming
out the other end.

That's not my booby buddy.

Don't worry, babe.

I'll drive real safe so you
don't hurt your new fun bags.

This isn't happening.

Tara,

- stop.
- Call me Buck.

Or I'm gonna leave you here
with the mummy's revenge.

This is so like you.

- Is everything all right?
- Hey.

I got it all under control, sugar.

- Careful.
- Sorry, ma'am.

What the fuck is
elective surgery anyhow?

You wanna be sliced
open by a Russki?

It's corrective surgery.

My first boob job
came out looking like

those googly eyes you get
in arts and crafts at camp.

- You know that.
- Hey, you like mixed martial arts?

No, I like romantic comedies
with women who fall down a lot.

These guys fall down a lot.

Hell, they eat shit
every few minutes.

No cryin'.

Tara,

I'm a fucking mess.

Okay, I feel like
there is an elephant

sitting on my chest
and I am on drugs.

Please don't do this.

Okay, just stop.

I ain't Tara.

You're lucky I'm here.

I was meant to go to league night.

Now I gotta stay at home on
account of your womanly vanity.

Look at me.

I got my ass blown up at Con Thien.
You don't see me bitchin'.

Tara, you didn't go to Vietnam.

You're a 35-year-old woman.

You've got two kids.

You lost your tonsils in '76
and that's it.

"Oxycodone".

This is hillbilly heroin.

It's for pain.

I got pain.

Like I said,
I need to ask you some stuff.

And it's...

I mean, it's kind of weird.

I just have this feeling that...

something...

happened to Tara when
you two went to school.

Are you, like... Are you...
Are you divorcing her or something?

You're trying to get dirt.
Is this a custody thing?

No, no, no. No, nothing like that.
Not a custody thing.

It's a long story
and it's complicated, but I'm...

I'm just doing this
because I love her.

Tara and I had a falling out
during our second year of school.

Anyway, I finally...
I get a boyfriend.

He's my first one.

And his name is Trip.

And he's... He's very outdoorsy.
He's really into windsurfing.

He's very weathered and, you know,
kind of melanoma sexy.

Right, okay.

Right.
So, one morning,

Tara comes back to the room
and she's all messed up.

Messed up how?

She looked like
she'd been knocked around.

I asked her what happened
and she said that she didn't know.

I didn't... Also, I didn't...
I didn't ask her, only really ask her

'cause that kind of shit happened
at St. Ann's all the time.

It was the late '80s.

You know, mosh pits and everything.

Yeah, but the night
that she was attacked.

So then, I find out
from some girls around school

that she had slept
with Trip that night.

Your Trip?

Yeah. And I was pissed.

And then I confronted him
and he denied it.

And Tara and I never spoke again.

And I didn't really know
what had happened.

But I've thought about it over the years
and I just... I think it's fishy.

Yeah, it's very fishy.

I think he lied and I think
he did do something to her.

What's Trip's last name?
Can I have his last name?

You have a pen or...

His name is Trip.

Johanssen.

I peeked under the bandages.

See anything you like?

I think it's gonna be nice.

Once the weeping stops.

You're a nice-lookin' woman.

I bet that commie doctor
fixed you up good.

Could that go off?

Depends how much more you talk.

If I talk about the kids,
will that change you back?

Back to what?

I hear Marshall has a crush
on a boy at school.

Probably another creampuff.

They're runnin' rampant these days.

How can you talk that way
about your son?

Marshall ain't my son, thank God.

If I had a son,
he'd be a grade-A pussy hound.

You got him!
Take the fucker down!

Shit.

Maybe he's just struggling
with his identity.

I still don't know who I am.

I fucking got fired from Vita-Self.

Sure got fucked over
with that whole restraining order thing.

Right?

We don't even know
who defaced that ridiculous mural.

I mean, obviously...

Tara did.

I mean you...

did.

I mean...

Are you Tara?

What do you think?

I don't know anymore.

That lady's got problems.

The rest of us just gotta hold it down
as long as we can.

I really hate her.

Sometimes.

I don't understand women.

Always fightin'.

Must be because
of your monthly bill.

It's a sister thing.
You wouldn't understand.

I mean, my whole life,
Tara's been more loved by everyone.

I mean, our parents obviously.

She always attracts good guys.

They weren't all good.

Max is great.

I've never been with anyone great.

Just guys who work in bars

and have huge gross arms.

Guys whose names are action verbs.

Hey, it's like me.

Buckin' bronco!

Good for you.

I feel like shit.

My hair's a mess.
Can you help me?

Just stop cryin', okay?

Trip...

Trip Johanssen.

Thanks for this.

I'm not supposed to lift
my arms until Day Three.

Yep.

Think you could take me
to the gun range some time?

Sure.

Just gotta watch out
for the kick back.

Don't want to bust a titty.

I think I'd look good with a gun.

Most women do.

Oh, be sure and condition the ends.

You know, Tara used to wash my hair
when we were kids.

One time we were playing
beauty salon

outside with the hose
and we got in trouble

because the shampoo killed
mom's geraniums.

And...

Buck?

Charmaine?

You... Oh, God.
I'm so sorry.

Oh, Tara.

You're back.

I'm sorry. Cigarettes make me sick.

It's okay. It's okay.
Take your time.

Who drove you home?

Buck did.

Oh, no. Was he horrible?

He was a pretty good booby buddy.

Hello.

Oh, hey.

There is absolutely
nothing healthy in this bag.

Good.

I need lots of bad carbs to soak up
all this prescription dope.

How do you feel?

Like someone shoved saltwater bags
under my pec muscles.

But my hair looks amazing.

Buck should open a salon.

He could call it Hair Trigger.

Funny.

Not really.

So wait, what's the story with Jason?
Did you talk to him?

He goes to school here, you know?

Along with 4,000 other assholes
who happen to live in the district.

So what happened?

Pretty much blew him off at sets.

Like you said.
I was both cold and aloof.

And how'd that work out?

He called me last night.

No shit!

Yeah, he had... He had a question
about McCabe and Mrs. Miller.

But I think he was lying
because, I mean,

since when does he even care
about Altman anyway?

He doesn't.

I was right.

I don't know.
Just feels so phony.

I mean, why do people have to hide
their feelings to seem more attractive?

Because people only chase
whatever it is that they can't have.

It's basic boy science.

There's actually this old book on it
called The Rules.

Aunt Charmaine has it on her toilet.

So I basically just have to keep
pretending that I don't like him?

I mean, you could even act
like you actively dislike him

and that'd probably work okay.

- I don't get it.
- It's all about maturity, Moosh.

Like, you know that stuff they teach you
in kindergarten about being yourself?

It's bullshit.

Don't ever be yourself.

It's the kiss of death.

You're back!

I had to take care of her all day.
Didn't even get to shower.

You are a great breast friend.

Booby buddy.

I smell gun oil and Lucky Strikes.

Guess why.

- Hi, mommy.
- Hi, sweetheart.

Why are you wearing that?

I forgot to bring change of clothes and
had to borrow something from Charmaine.

Where does she shop, Forever 36?

So what did you guys do last night?

Had this place to yourselves.
Kind of fun, right?

Oh, I went out with the girls.
We saw this movie.

It was the dumbest movie of all time.
It is so stupid.

I cannot wait to go see it again
so I can hate it even more.

I worked on sets at the Hell House.

We're coming really close
to a realistic underworld look.

Plus I created this faux finish
that looks exactly like scabbed flesh.

Cool.

How about you?

I hit the gym with Neil
and we had a couple beers.

Sounds nice and counterproductive.

How's Charmaniac?

She's great.
Her swelling's already going down.

And I think when she heals,

they're both gonna point
in the same direction.

Mom, can we please not
talk about Charmaine's body?

- Sorry.
- Well, we missed you.

Wanna try some of Marshall's...

skirt steak with truffle salt,
right?

Some mushrooms
he's never even heard of.

I would love nothing more.
Just gonna take a shower.

- Back in a minute.
- Yeah, 'cause you smell like smoke.

So do you.

Busted.

Change can be good for the soul,
I guess.

Sometimes it's long overdue.

Boosh.

In my case,

it's just a pain in the ass.

I've never lied to the kids
about a transition before.

I just...

Don't want to put them
through any stress right now.

I told Max though.

I know he'd never keep
anything from me.

I feel tired all the time.

I even wake up feeling worn out.

- You been having strange dreams?
- No.

Why? Am I talking in my sleep?

Not talking.

Did you just scoot away from me?

No.

- What's going on?
- Nothing.

I love you.

Come here.

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