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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:03,856 --> 00:00:05,990 Why are you here? Okay, you're kind of killing my game. 2 00:00:06,025 --> 00:00:07,025 What game? 3 00:00:07,059 --> 00:00:08,993 You just invite Nicki over every week 4 00:00:09,028 --> 00:00:10,028 to watch "Mad Men." 5 00:00:10,062 --> 00:00:11,896 Uh, I also make banana bread, okay? 6 00:00:11,931 --> 00:00:14,132 And this week, I put in some chocolate chips, 7 00:00:14,166 --> 00:00:16,100 so I think my game is pretty airtight. 8 00:00:16,135 --> 00:00:17,569 Whatever, baby bird. 9 00:00:17,903 --> 00:00:20,371 See you, Nicki. I got to go meet someone. 10 00:00:20,405 --> 00:00:21,506 Have fun with your friend. 11 00:00:21,540 --> 00:00:23,141 Oh, it's not a friend. It's a girl. 12 00:00:23,175 --> 00:00:25,443 You don't have any girls that are friends? 13 00:00:25,477 --> 00:00:28,365 [Chuckles] Oh, you're not joking. 14 00:00:28,365 --> 00:00:28,412 Uh... 15 00:00:28,447 --> 00:00:31,575 Single guys can't be friends with girls. 16 00:00:31,575 --> 00:00:32,680 Discuss. 17 00:00:32,680 --> 00:00:35,793 Hey, uh, save me some of that banana bread. 18 00:00:35,793 --> 00:00:38,008 [Laughs] 19 00:00:38,008 --> 00:00:38,788 [Door closes] 20 00:00:39,562 --> 00:00:42,350 Oh, by the way, I know I said that sarcastically 21 00:00:42,350 --> 00:00:44,161 with a laugh at the end, but, really, it sounds delicious. 22 00:00:44,161 --> 00:00:44,750 I'd like some later. 23 00:00:44,750 --> 00:00:46,619 - [Door closes] - What a jerk. 24 00:00:46,619 --> 00:00:49,352 - Are you really mad? - Well, I ju... look. 25 00:00:49,352 --> 00:00:51,428 I got my boobs in fourth grade, 26 00:00:51,428 --> 00:00:54,005 so I've had years of people talking to me 27 00:00:54,005 --> 00:00:55,704 like they're interested in me for me, 28 00:00:55,704 --> 00:00:58,111 when really they're just staring at my chest. 29 00:00:59,037 --> 00:00:59,616 Go on. 30 00:01:02,148 --> 00:01:03,515 Why can't anybody 31 00:01:03,550 --> 00:01:06,885 just be interested in me for me, you know? 32 00:01:11,591 --> 00:01:15,260 [Sniffs] 33 00:01:18,265 --> 00:01:19,498 Oh, my God. 34 00:01:19,532 --> 00:01:22,067 [Chuckling] It's been you this whole time. 35 00:01:22,102 --> 00:01:24,036 Y-you're the answer. 36 00:01:24,070 --> 00:01:26,605 To what? 37 00:01:26,640 --> 00:01:30,442 You are my proof that Danny is wrong! 38 00:01:30,477 --> 00:01:31,910 [Chuckling] I mean, seriously, 39 00:01:31,945 --> 00:01:34,468 I could probably be pretty wasted 40 00:01:34,468 --> 00:01:37,396 and just be all over you like, "Oh, my God, Justin, 41 00:01:37,396 --> 00:01:40,351 just, like, kiss me and, like, touch me, like, now." 42 00:01:40,351 --> 00:01:43,304 You know? And you wouldn't do anything 43 00:01:43,304 --> 00:01:44,788 because you're my friend, right? 44 00:01:44,788 --> 00:01:47,406 Yeah, no. Yeah, no. 45 00:01:47,406 --> 00:01:50,054 No, I'm... I'm your friend. 46 00:01:50,520 --> 00:01:52,308 [Both chuckle] 47 00:01:52,308 --> 00:01:53,381 All right. 48 00:01:56,086 --> 00:01:57,093 Are you flexing? 49 00:01:57,093 --> 00:01:57,905 [Straining] No. 50 00:01:58,940 --> 00:01:59,971 Danny: All right, now. Here we go. Come on. 51 00:02:00,005 --> 00:02:01,873 Justin: Okay. We are going. 52 00:02:01,946 --> 00:02:04,998 Synced and corrected by Mastermonger. www.addic7ed.com 53 00:02:04,998 --> 00:02:07,775 Oh-oh-oh, oh, oh 54 00:02:07,775 --> 00:02:10,344 We are best friends 55 00:02:10,344 --> 00:02:11,953 No. Never, ever do that again. 56 00:02:13,466 --> 00:02:14,729 Oh, hello. 57 00:02:14,763 --> 00:02:16,931 Thank you for ruining my date with Nicki last night. 58 00:02:16,965 --> 00:02:20,335 It wasn't a date, and heads up, baby bird. 59 00:02:20,369 --> 00:02:21,536 What is that? What are you doing? 60 00:02:21,570 --> 00:02:23,905 It's a piece of advice. 61 00:02:23,939 --> 00:02:26,437 Sometimes I like to toss them out like gifts. 62 00:02:26,437 --> 00:02:28,951 Hey, Brett. Keep being British. It works for you. 63 00:02:28,951 --> 00:02:30,591 Cheerio, mate. How's your father? 64 00:02:30,591 --> 00:02:32,442 I'm a cockney. David Beckham. 65 00:02:34,893 --> 00:02:38,003 Hey, Bursk, stop being so obnoxious around women. 66 00:02:38,003 --> 00:02:40,084 This one's for them ugly bitches. 67 00:02:42,964 --> 00:02:44,356 You need to read it again. 68 00:02:46,230 --> 00:02:47,198 Your turn, bro. 69 00:02:50,367 --> 00:02:51,623 All right, man. 70 00:02:51,623 --> 00:02:53,574 You need to make a move like now, okay? 71 00:02:53,574 --> 00:02:54,765 Otherwise, you're gonna be stuck 72 00:02:54,765 --> 00:02:55,853 in the friend zone with Nicki forever. 73 00:02:55,858 --> 00:02:57,279 Uh, Google news alert... 74 00:02:57,314 --> 00:02:59,220 I'm not in the friend zone with Nicki, okay? 75 00:02:59,220 --> 00:03:00,898 Let's try Siri. Ting. 76 00:03:00,898 --> 00:03:02,684 Siri, am I in the friend zone with Nicki? 77 00:03:05,846 --> 00:03:08,548 "No, Justin. Your eyes are ocean blue. 78 00:03:08,548 --> 00:03:10,448 That's impossible. L.O.L." 79 00:03:12,952 --> 00:03:14,239 Come on. Let's be honest, mate. 80 00:03:14,239 --> 00:03:16,316 This isn't your first trip to the friend zone, is it? 81 00:03:16,316 --> 00:03:18,253 Heather Flanders... College? 82 00:03:18,253 --> 00:03:21,023 I was not in the friend zone with Heather Flanders, okay? 83 00:03:21,023 --> 00:03:22,700 She thought I was gay. 84 00:03:24,549 --> 00:03:26,732 World's worst brag. 85 00:03:28,370 --> 00:03:30,470 So, Danny, when you're in the friend zone, what do you do? 86 00:03:30,470 --> 00:03:32,497 You know, I have a move that works every single time. 87 00:03:32,497 --> 00:03:34,627 Never fails... I just throw her on the back of my bike, 88 00:03:34,627 --> 00:03:35,911 and I take her for a ride. 89 00:03:35,911 --> 00:03:38,701 I give her my helmet, so she knows I can protect her. 90 00:03:38,701 --> 00:03:39,810 Added bonus... 91 00:03:39,810 --> 00:03:42,457 I also look awesome with the wind in my hair. 92 00:03:44,520 --> 00:03:48,574 I speed up, you know? And she's all like, "slow down!" 93 00:03:48,574 --> 00:03:50,561 But I'm like, "sweetheart, I can't 94 00:03:50,561 --> 00:03:52,911 'cause the adrenaline's pumpin' too hard." 95 00:03:53,791 --> 00:03:56,805 So, then I just, like, lean back into her, 96 00:03:56,805 --> 00:03:58,516 and she grips my hips. 97 00:03:58,516 --> 00:04:00,109 Siri, did that work? 98 00:04:00,109 --> 00:04:01,056 Ding! 99 00:04:01,056 --> 00:04:02,296 Game over. 100 00:04:07,249 --> 00:04:09,183 - You don't even have a move. - You kidding me? 101 00:04:09,218 --> 00:04:12,353 I do the whole "cover her eyes from behind game." 102 00:04:13,956 --> 00:04:16,424 Then I pull away. "Look at that. What is that? 103 00:04:16,458 --> 00:04:18,326 "An eyelash? Oh, go ahead, girl. 104 00:04:18,360 --> 00:04:21,863 Make a wish, 'cause mine's about to come true." 105 00:04:23,132 --> 00:04:24,766 All right, what if there's no eyelash? 106 00:04:24,800 --> 00:04:26,100 There's always an eyelash 107 00:04:26,135 --> 00:04:28,569 because I pluck one of my own before going in. 108 00:04:33,525 --> 00:04:36,021 Whoo! That's what I'm talking about! 109 00:04:36,021 --> 00:04:37,563 - Right! Yes! - Suck it, Bears! 110 00:04:37,563 --> 00:04:38,395 - Yeah! - Yeah! 111 00:04:38,395 --> 00:04:39,320 [Both grunting] 112 00:04:39,320 --> 00:04:41,851 Hyah! Whaaaaaat! 113 00:04:41,851 --> 00:04:44,053 [Imitates machine-gun fire] 114 00:04:44,053 --> 00:04:45,472 Whoa! 115 00:04:45,472 --> 00:04:46,640 Ploop! 116 00:04:46,640 --> 00:04:47,863 [Clicking tongue] 117 00:04:48,962 --> 00:04:49,994 Oh. 118 00:04:49,994 --> 00:04:51,786 [Imitates camera shutter clicking] 119 00:04:53,560 --> 00:04:55,260 You're missing a great game, bro. 120 00:04:55,295 --> 00:04:58,330 Ohh! God, immediately we give the ball back. 121 00:04:58,365 --> 00:05:00,232 It's like everything associated with the word "Detroit" 122 00:05:00,266 --> 00:05:01,934 has to suck. - Burski: Don't do it. Don't say it. 123 00:05:01,968 --> 00:05:03,569 Shut up! Shut up! It's embarrassing. 124 00:05:03,603 --> 00:05:06,271 You know, it's a joke of a team for a joke of a city. 125 00:05:06,306 --> 00:05:09,274 I will not sit here while you talk about Detroit that way! 126 00:05:09,309 --> 00:05:12,478 She is a beautiful lady with an ample bosom, 127 00:05:12,512 --> 00:05:14,079 and I love her! 128 00:05:15,648 --> 00:05:19,478 I was born here, and I plan to die here. 129 00:05:19,478 --> 00:05:21,267 Good day, ma'am. 130 00:05:24,417 --> 00:05:25,573 What just happened? 131 00:05:25,608 --> 00:05:27,243 Brett: It's his code. 132 00:05:27,243 --> 00:05:29,323 Trash talk Detroit, you're dead to him. 133 00:05:29,641 --> 00:05:30,601 How was I supposed to know that? 134 00:05:30,636 --> 00:05:34,271 Every article of clothing he has has the word "Detroit" on it. 135 00:05:37,637 --> 00:05:38,727 Shelly. 136 00:05:38,727 --> 00:05:40,808 We're cool, right? 137 00:05:45,008 --> 00:05:47,847 My lucky bobblehead can't even look at you. 138 00:05:49,610 --> 00:05:52,126 I'm proud of you for not spitting in her face. 139 00:05:56,434 --> 00:05:57,271 [Door closes] 140 00:06:09,347 --> 00:06:10,447 Guess who. 141 00:06:10,481 --> 00:06:12,082 Oh, ow, ow, ow! Ohh! It stings! 142 00:06:12,116 --> 00:06:14,017 What? Oh, it's lime juice. God! Ow! Oh, God! 143 00:06:14,051 --> 00:06:15,852 This wine cloth! Here, here! Yeah. 144 00:06:15,887 --> 00:06:17,554 There's lime juice on the towel! 145 00:06:17,588 --> 00:06:19,256 Aw, I'm sorry. Uh, here, take this water. 146 00:06:19,290 --> 00:06:20,757 - That's actually lime juice. - [Groans] 147 00:06:20,791 --> 00:06:22,659 Why are there so many lime products back here?! 148 00:06:23,794 --> 00:06:26,196 - I'm... I'm sorry. - [Laughing] It's okay. 149 00:06:26,230 --> 00:06:27,330 - I'm sorry. - Oh. 150 00:06:27,365 --> 00:06:29,399 But, hey, I-I think you got a... 151 00:06:29,433 --> 00:06:31,735 I think you got an eyelash right... there. 152 00:06:31,769 --> 00:06:33,637 Wha... [Sighs] 153 00:06:35,840 --> 00:06:37,407 No. No, you... no, you don't. 154 00:06:37,441 --> 00:06:39,843 Where did that go? 155 00:06:39,877 --> 00:06:41,711 Look, Nicki, can I talk to you about something? 156 00:06:41,746 --> 00:06:43,448 Yeah. Of course. 157 00:06:43,448 --> 00:06:44,761 Okay, there's this... 158 00:06:44,761 --> 00:06:46,596 this girl that I'm friends with, 159 00:06:46,596 --> 00:06:47,099 and I've been thinking 160 00:06:47,099 --> 00:06:49,469 about how I kind of want it to be more than that. 161 00:06:49,469 --> 00:06:50,851 [Laughs] 162 00:06:50,851 --> 00:06:53,088 That's, um, really weird, 163 00:06:53,123 --> 00:06:56,434 'cause, um, I've been thinking about somebody, too. 164 00:06:56,434 --> 00:06:56,956 [Chuckles nervously] 165 00:06:56,956 --> 00:06:59,463 - Oh, is that so? - [Chuckles] 166 00:07:01,663 --> 00:07:02,855 And I, um... 167 00:07:02,855 --> 00:07:04,147 I think you might know him. 168 00:07:04,147 --> 00:07:05,227 [Chuckles] 169 00:07:05,227 --> 00:07:06,443 I bet I do. 170 00:07:06,443 --> 00:07:07,693 [Both laugh] 171 00:07:07,693 --> 00:07:11,157 Uh, would you, uh, describe this... this... 172 00:07:11,157 --> 00:07:13,051 this guy as, uh, handsome? 173 00:07:13,051 --> 00:07:16,052 Mm, I would describe him as hot. 174 00:07:16,052 --> 00:07:17,476 [Chuckles] Okay, wow. 175 00:07:17,476 --> 00:07:21,032 Uh, would you say that he's a very good dancer? 176 00:07:21,032 --> 00:07:22,491 [Laughs] 177 00:07:22,491 --> 00:07:25,027 I would say he's actually a great dancer. 178 00:07:25,027 --> 00:07:26,656 Oh, well, then he will be happy 179 00:07:26,656 --> 00:07:30,647 he spent all that time as a kid training. 180 00:07:30,647 --> 00:07:32,680 [Both chuckle] 181 00:07:32,680 --> 00:07:35,040 Listen, I'm gonna pour us a couple of drinks. 182 00:07:35,040 --> 00:07:37,106 Don't worry. I know the owner. 183 00:07:37,106 --> 00:07:41,229 And you're gonna tell me who your mystery person is, 184 00:07:41,229 --> 00:07:44,009 and I'm going to tell you about mine. 185 00:07:46,425 --> 00:07:47,737 She likes Danny! 186 00:07:47,737 --> 00:07:49,930 Ha-ha! Classic! 187 00:07:50,839 --> 00:07:51,812 Oh. 188 00:07:51,812 --> 00:07:55,160 What? Why? 189 00:07:59,330 --> 00:08:02,899 So, after she said his name, she asked me who my person was. 190 00:08:02,933 --> 00:08:04,534 I panicked and just said the first name 191 00:08:04,568 --> 00:08:06,302 that came to my head, so if anybody asks, 192 00:08:06,337 --> 00:08:09,605 I'm really into a girl named "Justin." 193 00:08:11,275 --> 00:08:12,909 Danny, how are you gonna help him? 194 00:08:12,943 --> 00:08:15,078 I'll tell you how... he's gonna blow off Nicki 195 00:08:15,112 --> 00:08:16,479 'cause Justin called dibs. 196 00:08:16,513 --> 00:08:17,847 Listen, I can't ignore Nicki. 197 00:08:17,881 --> 00:08:19,415 That'll just make her want me more. 198 00:08:19,450 --> 00:08:20,950 That's how girls work. Right, Les? 199 00:08:20,985 --> 00:08:23,186 Yeah. 200 00:08:24,421 --> 00:08:25,655 This is my worst nightmare. 201 00:08:25,689 --> 00:08:26,622 Hey, hey, hey, hey. 202 00:08:26,657 --> 00:08:27,790 You're lucky, okay? 203 00:08:27,825 --> 00:08:30,159 'Cause I've got the answer right here. 204 00:08:32,096 --> 00:08:34,464 Don't you dare toss that to me. 205 00:08:41,021 --> 00:08:42,955 Just... just take it! 206 00:08:42,990 --> 00:08:44,090 Ha! 207 00:08:44,124 --> 00:08:47,427 Ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah! 208 00:08:52,333 --> 00:08:54,500 Okay, fine! So what? She likes me. 209 00:08:54,535 --> 00:08:57,203 Whatever! Okay? She just wants a little fun. 210 00:08:57,237 --> 00:08:59,005 She wants to "add sex to cart." 211 00:08:59,039 --> 00:08:59,973 [Clicks tongue] 212 00:09:00,007 --> 00:09:01,908 What are you talking about? 213 00:09:01,942 --> 00:09:04,477 He's saying that girl is in heat, bro. 214 00:09:04,511 --> 00:09:06,779 Nobody is in heat! Human girls cannot be in heat. 215 00:09:06,814 --> 00:09:09,749 [Breathes deeply] Oh, I've been in heat. 216 00:09:10,684 --> 00:09:13,019 Look, she doesn't want a relationship. 217 00:09:13,053 --> 00:09:14,487 She just wants a hookup. 218 00:09:14,521 --> 00:09:17,290 Girls don't fall in love with guys like Danny. 219 00:09:17,324 --> 00:09:20,063 He's not mature. He has no substance. 220 00:09:20,063 --> 00:09:21,401 Okay, you know what, Les? I think they get it. 221 00:09:21,401 --> 00:09:24,664 Look, you have no more time for cute "moves," okay? 222 00:09:24,698 --> 00:09:28,046 You got to go in there right now and tell her how you feel. 223 00:09:28,046 --> 00:09:30,137 All right. All right. You know what I'm gonna do? 224 00:09:30,137 --> 00:09:31,678 I'm gonna go take a shower, 225 00:09:31,678 --> 00:09:34,704 and then I'm gonna look in the mirror and put on my game face. 226 00:09:34,704 --> 00:09:36,634 That sounded like I was gonna put on makeup. 227 00:09:38,308 --> 00:09:39,428 I do not wear makeup. 228 00:09:39,428 --> 00:09:40,574 Sure, if I have a zit, 229 00:09:40,574 --> 00:09:42,282 I might put on some of that tinted cover-up. 230 00:09:42,282 --> 00:09:43,769 It looks nice. Leslie, you know what I'm talking about. 231 00:09:43,769 --> 00:09:44,980 I'm getting a little off-track. 232 00:09:44,980 --> 00:09:47,351 The point is, I'm gonna crush it. 233 00:09:47,351 --> 00:09:49,023 That's what I'm talking about. 234 00:09:49,023 --> 00:09:50,174 I'm a man. I can do this. 235 00:09:50,174 --> 00:09:52,501 Should I bring some of that banana bread? I got some left over. 236 00:09:53,898 --> 00:09:55,062 No bread. 237 00:09:58,325 --> 00:09:58,982 Shell. 238 00:10:00,638 --> 00:10:03,967 I brought you an "I love Detroit" ice-cream cake. 239 00:10:05,602 --> 00:10:06,537 I'm so sorry. 240 00:10:06,537 --> 00:10:08,969 I think I'm needed in the bathroom. 241 00:10:11,778 --> 00:10:13,906 Well, I guess this is going in the trash. 242 00:10:13,906 --> 00:10:15,199 - Oh, no. No, no, no. - Uhp, uhp, uhp, uhp! 243 00:10:15,199 --> 00:10:17,237 Come here. My move. 244 00:10:17,237 --> 00:10:19,495 Leslie, what you just did with Shelly there, 245 00:10:19,495 --> 00:10:21,291 that was, as my trainer said last week 246 00:10:21,291 --> 00:10:24,199 when I lost three-quarters of a pound, "a good start." 247 00:10:25,497 --> 00:10:27,882 You got to take him to a Lions game 248 00:10:27,882 --> 00:10:29,577 or... or learn his favorite song, 249 00:10:29,577 --> 00:10:31,820 which is "Night moves" by Detroit legend Bob Seger. 250 00:10:32,291 --> 00:10:33,571 You just got to make a bigger gesture. 251 00:10:33,571 --> 00:10:35,440 I got a big gesture for Shelly. 252 00:10:35,440 --> 00:10:38,014 It involves my ass pressed against his windshield. 253 00:10:40,210 --> 00:10:43,240 One tiny mistake, and I'm dead to him? 254 00:10:43,240 --> 00:10:44,670 Well, guess what. 255 00:10:44,670 --> 00:10:47,904 You don't accept my apology, you're dead to me. 256 00:10:49,384 --> 00:10:50,322 Ugh. 257 00:10:51,473 --> 00:10:53,418 Hey. What's wrong there? 258 00:10:53,418 --> 00:10:54,385 Oh, nothing. 259 00:10:54,385 --> 00:10:56,040 I-I tweaked my neck 260 00:10:56,040 --> 00:10:59,224 trying to toss out some imaginary advice. 261 00:11:00,583 --> 00:11:02,355 You need some magic fingers? 262 00:11:02,355 --> 00:11:03,791 Uh, uh, I... 263 00:11:03,791 --> 00:11:04,979 that's okay. Thank you very much, though. 264 00:11:04,979 --> 00:11:06,170 Okay. [Giggles] Fine. 265 00:11:06,170 --> 00:11:07,915 I was just trying to... trying to help. 266 00:11:07,915 --> 00:11:09,451 Oh, it's not you. It's just, you know... 267 00:11:09,451 --> 00:11:12,174 it's... Oh, yeah! God! 268 00:11:12,174 --> 00:11:16,331 - That feels so good. - [Chuckles] 269 00:11:16,331 --> 00:11:18,620 [Laughs] 270 00:11:21,812 --> 00:11:23,417 Danny, I wish you would've let me know 271 00:11:23,417 --> 00:11:25,887 that you needed a massage 'cause I would never let a friend 272 00:11:25,887 --> 00:11:27,191 be in pain without helping. 273 00:11:27,191 --> 00:11:29,380 [Chuckling] You guys massage each other? 274 00:11:30,831 --> 00:11:31,725 Oh, yeah. 275 00:11:31,725 --> 00:11:34,979 But when Danny works on my back, it feels more 276 00:11:34,979 --> 00:11:38,197 like a deep, rhythmic, stabbing motion, you know? 277 00:11:40,717 --> 00:11:44,101 And at the end of that story, there's... never a happy ending. 278 00:11:53,471 --> 00:11:55,249 You keep your damn hands off my woman. 279 00:11:56,321 --> 00:11:57,510 Okay, you know what? 280 00:11:57,510 --> 00:11:59,425 That was a nonconsensual massage, all right? 281 00:11:59,425 --> 00:12:02,394 Oh, you loved it... Her heavy breath on your neck, 282 00:12:02,394 --> 00:12:04,612 her oiled-up hands all over your naked back. 283 00:12:04,612 --> 00:12:06,997 What do you think you just saw? 284 00:12:08,236 --> 00:12:10,021 Look, I've done everything in my power 285 00:12:10,021 --> 00:12:11,861 to try and help you get that girl, all right? 286 00:12:11,861 --> 00:12:13,860 And you know what? Frankly, I'm getting a little bit upset 287 00:12:13,860 --> 00:12:15,632 that you're getting pissed when I haven't done anything. 288 00:12:15,632 --> 00:12:17,391 Oh, really?! You want to know what I think?! 289 00:12:17,391 --> 00:12:18,768 I think y... 290 00:12:18,768 --> 00:12:20,831 You're right! 291 00:12:20,831 --> 00:12:21,702 [Sighs] 292 00:12:21,702 --> 00:12:24,506 I'm just... [Sighs] I'm upset, okay? 293 00:12:24,506 --> 00:12:26,053 And I'm... I'm sorry. 294 00:12:28,447 --> 00:12:29,896 Apology accepted, man. 295 00:12:31,159 --> 00:12:33,207 Hey, I forgot to ask you... 296 00:12:33,207 --> 00:12:34,865 Would you, um, give me a ride home later? 297 00:12:34,865 --> 00:12:37,790 Um... I can't 'cause I have my motorcycle. 298 00:12:37,790 --> 00:12:38,307 So what? 299 00:12:38,307 --> 00:12:40,331 The first day you were here you drove me home on your bike. 300 00:12:42,296 --> 00:12:43,211 [Door closes] 301 00:12:45,165 --> 00:12:47,560 Be honest... did I not mention that? 302 00:12:52,167 --> 00:12:53,953 How long has he been like this? 303 00:12:53,953 --> 00:12:57,335 It's been about like 10 minutes. I don't know. 304 00:12:58,300 --> 00:12:59,723 What set him off? 305 00:12:59,723 --> 00:13:01,463 I'll tell you what set him off. 306 00:13:01,463 --> 00:13:04,442 Our good friend Danny here did the motorcycle move... 307 00:13:04,442 --> 00:13:06,777 With Nicki. 308 00:13:06,777 --> 00:13:08,374 You're as bad as your hateful sister! 309 00:13:09,835 --> 00:13:11,345 Calm down, okay? 310 00:13:11,345 --> 00:13:13,969 I-I just... I took Nicki on my motorcycle one time. 311 00:13:13,969 --> 00:13:15,543 It was the day I met Justin, 312 00:13:15,543 --> 00:13:17,669 and I didn't know that we were gonna be friends yet. 313 00:13:17,669 --> 00:13:18,779 Just tell me this... 314 00:13:18,779 --> 00:13:22,760 When you took the girl of my dreams on your motorcycle, 315 00:13:22,760 --> 00:13:24,195 did your hair flow in the wind? 316 00:13:27,819 --> 00:13:29,159 My hair was great that day. 317 00:13:30,621 --> 00:13:31,471 Did you do the lean-back? 318 00:13:34,017 --> 00:13:35,559 I did the lean-back. 319 00:13:35,559 --> 00:13:36,642 Did she grip the hips? 320 00:13:36,642 --> 00:13:38,272 Oh, God, tell me she didn't grip the hi... 321 00:13:38,272 --> 00:13:39,902 Justin, bloody hell! Don't do it, man! 322 00:13:39,902 --> 00:13:41,408 I said I want to know everything, 323 00:13:41,408 --> 00:13:43,458 and I want to know it now! 324 00:13:44,692 --> 00:13:46,555 She gripped the hips, man. 325 00:13:48,421 --> 00:13:50,031 [Laughs] 326 00:13:50,031 --> 00:13:53,819 The puzzle pieces [blows] are falling into place. 327 00:13:55,612 --> 00:13:57,526 You've been with her the whole time, haven't you? 328 00:13:57,526 --> 00:13:59,577 Hey, what the hell are you talking about? 329 00:13:59,577 --> 00:14:00,878 Oh, yeah. 330 00:14:00,878 --> 00:14:03,101 How else would she know you're a good dancer? 331 00:14:03,101 --> 00:14:05,157 Oh, come on! Anyone's who's ever seen me move 332 00:14:05,157 --> 00:14:07,198 knows that I'm an amazing dancer! 333 00:14:15,442 --> 00:14:16,868 Well, you know what you're not amazing at? 334 00:14:16,868 --> 00:14:18,315 Being a friend. 335 00:14:18,315 --> 00:14:19,677 I'm an amazing friend, okay? 336 00:14:19,677 --> 00:14:21,863 The second I realized that you were into Nicki, 337 00:14:21,863 --> 00:14:22,871 I backed off. 338 00:14:22,871 --> 00:14:25,334 Justin, that is textbook bros before hos. 339 00:14:25,334 --> 00:14:27,505 Okay. You know what? He's right. 340 00:14:27,505 --> 00:14:28,987 And I'll tell you one more thing I'm gonna do... 341 00:14:28,987 --> 00:14:30,653 I'm gonna toss you an apology. 342 00:14:30,653 --> 00:14:32,451 But I should warn you, my sister and I 343 00:14:32,451 --> 00:14:34,697 come from the same fiery Sicilian bloodline, okay? 344 00:14:34,697 --> 00:14:37,441 So if I toss you this apology, and you don't accept it, 345 00:14:37,441 --> 00:14:39,636 [italian accent] It's a-gonna be a problem, eh? 346 00:14:42,213 --> 00:14:43,728 [Normal voice] You want me to toss you this apology or not? 347 00:14:45,494 --> 00:14:47,574 I do, Danny. I really do. 348 00:14:50,335 --> 00:14:51,487 Thank you. 349 00:14:52,265 --> 00:14:54,371 - Justin! - Don't be stupid! 350 00:14:54,570 --> 00:14:55,980 It's done! 351 00:14:57,807 --> 00:15:00,241 You sick bastard! You killed my apology! 352 00:15:00,241 --> 00:15:01,568 I think it's still moving. 353 00:15:01,568 --> 00:15:03,634 It needs a little De Niro, "Goodfellas." 354 00:15:11,941 --> 00:15:13,332 Hey, Brett. [Sighs] 355 00:15:13,332 --> 00:15:14,488 You left this in my car. 356 00:15:16,426 --> 00:15:17,611 You're not staying for a drink? 357 00:15:17,611 --> 00:15:18,632 No. 358 00:15:19,249 --> 00:15:22,503 There's a... negative energy in here 359 00:15:22,503 --> 00:15:24,044 that I can't quite put my finger on, 360 00:15:24,044 --> 00:15:26,926 but it's shaped exactly like Shelly. 361 00:15:31,010 --> 00:15:33,001 You too are seriously still fighting? 362 00:15:33,001 --> 00:15:35,901 I have a code. She ran afoul of it. 363 00:15:36,917 --> 00:15:39,314 I'm gonna do something that I swore I'd never do. 364 00:15:39,314 --> 00:15:41,459 I'm gonna crap on Detroit. 365 00:15:41,459 --> 00:15:43,680 Brett, make me a stiff drink. 366 00:15:43,680 --> 00:15:45,464 Straight vodka coming up. 367 00:15:45,464 --> 00:15:46,422 Stiff drink I'd like. 368 00:15:46,422 --> 00:15:47,648 Lemon drop coming up. 369 00:15:47,648 --> 00:15:50,287 You love this city as much as I do. 370 00:15:50,287 --> 00:15:51,951 But this is the only way. 371 00:15:51,951 --> 00:15:53,586 Here we go. 372 00:15:55,367 --> 00:15:56,852 Oh, yeah. 373 00:15:59,034 --> 00:16:04,692 Shelly, Detroit has seen better days. 374 00:16:04,692 --> 00:16:05,606 You don't want to do this. 375 00:16:05,606 --> 00:16:07,963 No, you brought it on yourself. Guys, get in the game. Brett. 376 00:16:07,963 --> 00:16:10,598 Detroit's the most messed-up city I've ever seen. 377 00:16:11,814 --> 00:16:13,893 And I've been to Los Angeles. 378 00:16:17,467 --> 00:16:21,444 Not you! Not my sweet English rose! 379 00:16:22,358 --> 00:16:24,246 Shelly, Detroit's so bad 380 00:16:24,246 --> 00:16:26,490 it couldn't even keep a WNBA franchise. 381 00:16:26,490 --> 00:16:27,818 You keep the shock out of this! 382 00:16:29,486 --> 00:16:32,272 Or I will straight up murder you! 383 00:16:32,272 --> 00:16:35,458 Detroit is a bankrupt ghost town 384 00:16:35,458 --> 00:16:37,391 where you got a better chance of getting shot 385 00:16:37,391 --> 00:16:39,969 than you do finding a streetlight that works. 386 00:16:39,969 --> 00:16:41,969 [Weakly] Why? 387 00:16:45,060 --> 00:16:47,805 Why would you do this to me? 388 00:16:47,805 --> 00:16:50,186 Because you know we don't mean it. 389 00:16:50,186 --> 00:16:51,973 Okay? And we love you, 390 00:16:51,973 --> 00:16:53,867 so you'll forgive us for it, okay? 391 00:16:53,867 --> 00:16:54,971 And you should do the same for Leslie 392 00:16:54,971 --> 00:16:56,193 'cause she's one of us now. 393 00:16:58,793 --> 00:17:01,161 Dude, what did you put in that lemon drop? 394 00:17:01,161 --> 00:17:02,011 I'm flying. 395 00:17:06,523 --> 00:17:07,558 Ohh, you know what, Devon? 396 00:17:07,558 --> 00:17:08,586 I actually... I don't care 397 00:17:08,586 --> 00:17:11,028 that you're beating me in "Gears of War," okay? 398 00:17:11,028 --> 00:17:13,137 You're 14, and I've had sex before, so... 399 00:17:14,612 --> 00:17:15,796 [Knock on door] 400 00:17:15,796 --> 00:17:17,848 Oh, uh, yeah, the door's open. 401 00:17:21,046 --> 00:17:21,902 Hi. 402 00:17:21,902 --> 00:17:23,402 Cool headset, man. 403 00:17:23,402 --> 00:17:25,053 Bet that thing comes in handy 404 00:17:25,053 --> 00:17:26,805 when you call those 24-hour sex chats. 405 00:17:28,100 --> 00:17:30,205 Keep your hands free. Am I right? 406 00:17:31,093 --> 00:17:32,510 I don't know. I've never called one of those. 407 00:17:33,953 --> 00:17:34,826 Yeah, me neither. 408 00:17:36,365 --> 00:17:37,908 Let's cut to the chase, okay? 409 00:17:37,908 --> 00:17:39,979 No matter what you say, I'm not gonna feel bad, 410 00:17:39,979 --> 00:17:41,440 - because I didn't... - Because you didn't do anything. 411 00:17:41,440 --> 00:17:43,825 Yeah, I know. You're not doing anything. 412 00:17:43,825 --> 00:17:45,551 That is the problem, mate. 413 00:17:46,442 --> 00:17:49,059 Justin is crushed about this Nicki thing, 414 00:17:49,059 --> 00:17:50,592 but he's... he's out there, 415 00:17:50,592 --> 00:17:51,646 and he's trying to help 416 00:17:51,646 --> 00:17:53,009 your sister and Shelly patch things up. 417 00:17:54,363 --> 00:17:56,371 Now, I think that's what a good friend really is, don't you? 418 00:17:57,878 --> 00:17:58,882 Putting your own feelings aside 419 00:17:58,882 --> 00:18:00,945 and do whatever it takes to help your mates. 420 00:18:04,875 --> 00:18:06,479 Is there any more ice-cream cake? 421 00:18:15,466 --> 00:18:16,154 Justin: Closing up. 422 00:18:16,154 --> 00:18:18,619 You here to throw Nicki on the back of your motorcycle? 423 00:18:18,619 --> 00:18:19,961 No, Nicki just left. 424 00:18:19,961 --> 00:18:23,000 I came by because your boy Brett came by the house 425 00:18:23,000 --> 00:18:24,925 and, uh, told me to come help you. 426 00:18:24,925 --> 00:18:25,986 Oh, did he? 427 00:18:25,986 --> 00:18:28,805 You know what I realized? You can't be helped. 428 00:18:29,851 --> 00:18:31,363 The only way for you to have sex with Nicki 429 00:18:31,363 --> 00:18:32,745 would be if I were to knock you out 430 00:18:32,745 --> 00:18:35,706 and then hang you on the ceiling with a rope-and-pulley system 431 00:18:35,706 --> 00:18:38,450 and physically raise and lower you onto her body. 432 00:18:42,666 --> 00:18:44,799 Get out of my bar, Danny. 433 00:18:44,799 --> 00:18:46,557 No, I'm not gonna get out of your bar 434 00:18:46,557 --> 00:18:48,182 because you need to hear this, all right? 435 00:18:48,182 --> 00:18:50,193 You're terrified to put yourself out there, 436 00:18:50,193 --> 00:18:51,798 and you know what? That makes you a coward. 437 00:18:51,798 --> 00:18:53,792 - I am not a coward. - Oh, really? 438 00:18:53,792 --> 00:18:55,241 Well, then what makes her so special? 439 00:18:55,241 --> 00:18:56,795 I'm not playing this game with you. 440 00:18:56,795 --> 00:18:58,903 If you can't tell me what makes her so special, 441 00:18:58,903 --> 00:19:00,174 then how are you gonna tell her? 442 00:19:00,174 --> 00:19:00,794 Fine! 443 00:19:00,794 --> 00:19:04,966 I would tell her that she's... an amazing waitress. 444 00:19:06,408 --> 00:19:08,175 Wow. Great opener, man. 445 00:19:08,175 --> 00:19:11,093 Okay, what I mean is, when I walk in here and I see her, 446 00:19:11,093 --> 00:19:13,787 it makes me not regret opening this bar. 447 00:19:13,787 --> 00:19:17,321 Like, if I lost everything, at least I found her. 448 00:19:17,321 --> 00:19:19,284 That's a little better, baby bird, 449 00:19:19,284 --> 00:19:21,714 but, uh, you're still not opening up. 450 00:19:21,714 --> 00:19:24,522 Come on. I'm her. Tell me. Open your heart. 451 00:19:24,522 --> 00:19:26,026 Get me out of these jeans. 452 00:19:30,699 --> 00:19:31,791 Okay. 453 00:19:31,791 --> 00:19:33,247 You know what I'd tell her? 454 00:19:33,247 --> 00:19:36,369 I'd tell her that if she wants to roll around in the hay 455 00:19:36,369 --> 00:19:39,500 with some party boy, then go ahead, but that's not me. 456 00:19:39,500 --> 00:19:41,526 But if she wants to be with somebody 457 00:19:41,526 --> 00:19:44,220 that actually knows her and will listen to her 458 00:19:44,220 --> 00:19:46,756 and help her with all her problems, then I'm her guy. 459 00:19:46,756 --> 00:19:49,480 Then I would tell her that she's the first person I want to see 460 00:19:49,480 --> 00:19:50,760 when I wake up in the morning 461 00:19:50,760 --> 00:19:53,115 and the last person I want to talk to when I go to bed, 462 00:19:53,115 --> 00:19:54,864 and then I would admit that I stole that 463 00:19:54,864 --> 00:19:55,922 from "When Harry met Sally... " 464 00:19:57,473 --> 00:19:58,790 But most of all, I would tell her 465 00:19:58,790 --> 00:20:00,164 that the only reason 466 00:20:00,164 --> 00:20:02,490 that I never made a move in the beginning 467 00:20:02,490 --> 00:20:04,636 was because I didn't know if I could take it if she said no. 468 00:20:06,932 --> 00:20:09,167 You can hear everything from your office. 469 00:20:09,167 --> 00:20:10,236 What? 470 00:20:10,236 --> 00:20:12,395 You're welcome. 471 00:20:17,024 --> 00:20:18,447 [Laughs] 472 00:20:25,820 --> 00:20:27,903 I am a God! 473 00:20:35,831 --> 00:20:38,064 Thank you for taking me to dinner. 474 00:20:38,064 --> 00:20:41,271 Well, thank you for pressing your ass against my windshield. 475 00:20:49,776 --> 00:20:52,419 And I must admit, 476 00:20:52,419 --> 00:20:54,327 I learned all the words to "Night moves." 477 00:20:54,327 --> 00:20:56,199 Come on, then. Let's hear it. 478 00:20:56,199 --> 00:20:57,033 [Clears throat] 479 00:20:57,033 --> 00:21:00,204 Workin' on our night moves 480 00:21:00,204 --> 00:21:02,050 [Chuckling] Oh. That was sweet. 481 00:21:02,050 --> 00:21:03,365 Oh. 482 00:21:04,540 --> 00:21:06,203 Actually, it's a little higher than that. 483 00:21:06,203 --> 00:21:06,774 [Clears throat] 484 00:21:06,774 --> 00:21:11,057 Workin' on our night moves 485 00:21:11,057 --> 00:21:15,504 Nicki and Justin: tryin' to lose those awkward teenage blues 486 00:21:15,504 --> 00:21:19,337 Workin' on our night moves 487 00:21:19,337 --> 00:21:21,563 And it was summertime 488 00:21:21,563 --> 00:21:23,923 Justin: Time, time, time, time-ooooh! 489 00:21:23,924 --> 00:21:25,239 Oh god, what have I done! 490 00:21:26,971 --> 00:21:32,239 Synced and corrected by Mastermonger. www.addic7ed.com 491 00:21:32,289 --> 00:21:36,839 Repair and Synchronization by Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0 35677

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