All language subtitles for Together s01e01 Signs.eng

INAUDIBLE CONVERSATIONS

What's the matter with you,
Ashley? You're miserable.

I'm not that bad. At least
I'm not a psychopath!

- You're a hoarder, Ashley.
- No, I am not.

- You belong in a shock-doc.
- No, I do not.

What's going on?

- She's doing a toss-out.
- For the second-hand shop.

No, no, I am not having some hippy
get his hands all over my Duff mug.

No! And... What? Not the Amstrad!

Or the brochures... Not the double poncho!

- Double? What's a double?
- Alton Towers.

Room for two humans?

Found it in the nook, the
nook in the boiler room,

- where she puts things, before they
get bumped off. - Not officially.

The zone between the living and the dead.

- Oh, like where you put Nana.
- No, we are not discussing that, Tom.

Sheltered accommodation,

Tom -- she's got a Hitachi TV,
she's living the effing dream!

We bought this on our first
date, Les -- Alton Towers.

Leicester years. We were the
scourge of Leicester, Tom.

- Were you? - We didn't do it
any favours, that's for sure.

Les, tell him about the time
I wee'd in the swimming pool.

Oh, he wee'd in the swimming pool, Tom.

- Oh, yeah?
- Hammered.

In the middle of the day, as well.

Wonderful. Well, I'm going to see
Maeve, debrief on last night's date.

Oh, tell her mum says hi, then.

It was from the diving board, Tom.

- Fabulous.
- People clapped.

- Your father clapped.
- And off I pop.

No! Oh, no-no-no...

But... Sorry, he asked
you to get back with him?

He was quite upset. Couldn't
finish his peshwari naan.

But hold on -- Luke asked you, and
you, rather than him, said "no"?

I know it's difficult to compute.

He's awful with the waiters, Hermione.

Sorry... He works for the UN, Ellen.

He's met Ban Ki-moon --
he's offered him a Smint.

He mentioned, a few times.

If you like him so much, why
don't you go out with him?

The day I get sloppy seconds from you

is the day I lie in a bath and,
as they say, commit suicide.

Baby, don't over-estimate yourself.

Luke's willing to
overlook a hell of a lot.

You're new to London, you
temp, you're Northern,

and I'm only telling you
painful truths because I care.

What's painful about it? That's my life.

I know. Breaks my heart.

Oi-oi, here comes trouble.
[BUILDER WOLF-WHISTLES]

- Put it away, Norm!
- Oh, God!

Just smile and absorb it, don't be frigid.

- Hey, guys! What up?
- You all right, girls?

How you feeling? Lonely?
Want a little cuddle?

She is a bit lonely,
actually. Good shout, buddy.

Hey, you, cheer yourself
up, it might never happen.

I mean, it is happening
-- THIS is happening.

Don't be so moody, Ellen. Time
of the month, is it? Eh, boys?

- This has been nice. I'm
going to my car. - Oi, love...

Why don't you show us where you piss from?

[HERMIONE LAUGHS] Oh,
naughty! Bit of a firecracker!

I don't mind it, and I think it's great,

but for some, that's a bit much.

Well, don't do anything I wouldn't do.

Want to have a little play
with Kevin and the twins?

Who's Kev...?

NERVOUS GIGGLE

Ellen, you'll never
guess what just happened.

We were having a nice chat and
I was about to ask him about

his working conditions, because
I'm actually really interested...

CRASH AND HERMIONE SCREAMS

Ellen!

CAR ENGINE REVS

Bless her. Come on, Squidge.

Those houses won't build themselves.

Oh, my Lord!

Come on, then. Lay it on me.

Where's Lincoln?

What...? Say again?

- Where's Lincoln?
- East Midlands. - Good...

Cool. So, saw Liz Tang last
night, don't hold back.

I've been Tangoed. What's the feedback?

How... like, tall do
you think the Shard is?

What are you doing, Maeve?

Oh, I'm just updating the
Wikipedia entry for England.

Right, I mean, you're a barrister --

should you not be doing, you
know, your bits and bobs?

- They've left out a
ton of stuff. - Hmm?

- Lincoln, the Shard, Watchdog...
- Uh-huh.

Giving myself a little mention.

- Does it need to mention you, do you think?
- Well, it mentions Tring.

- Fair play, then.
- Um, so... Um, yeah.

Liz Tang...

I was just on the phone
to her, actually...

Before you start blabbing on, I
just want to say thank you, really,

because last night, more than
any other dates I've been on,

I was just myself.

And just thanks for
that advice, basically.

- What, did I say that?
- Yes, you did.

- "Just be yourself"?
- Indeed.

Um, how do you think it went?

Quietly confident.

It's a "no" from her.

Good. Well, that's a relief. Um, good.

To be honest, I don't really
have time for a woman in my life

at the moment anyway, because I'm
building up to Ironman Australia.

So... Well, I'm off.

Oh, just a quick... Width
of a Beefeater's hat?

Not now, Maeve.

Ellen, pull over. I'm hyperventilating!

There you are, so don't
say I'm not impulsive.

- I never ever say that, anyway.
- Well, don't say it from now on.

Oh, Jesus! I won't tell Luke, don't worry.

I don't care about Luke!
What about the Met?

How anal are they, in
regards to crime these days?

Tell me if it's a bad time to bring it up,

but is it OK that I invited Luke
to Sian's house-warming later?

- No. - If this madness ends
and you do -- fingers crossed --

- get back with Luke...
- Um...

.. he would actually do his best to
secure me an internship at the UN.

- I mean, I'm manifestly speechless!
- It would be paid, is the thing.

I've just rammed a van,

and you're talking about trading me
like a prostitute for your career.

Don't think of it as a trade --

think of it as a lease,
or a loan, if that helps.

It doesn't help. I'm getting some ciggies.

Ellen, the only thing I've ever
truly wanted for my career is...

.. training to be an
estate agent, but carry on.

Oh, like the UN doesn't
need estate agents?!

Those refugees will need
somewhere to live, Ellen,

and I can secure them houses
at very competitive prices.

Good on you!

Agh!

Oh!

Ow...

Lovely...

Seven seconds on low, just
take the edge off the chill,

maintain the bouquet and
oopsie-doopsie-daisy-doe,

a perfect rhubarb yog for you.

Ta. Still tossing your Amstrad, but...

Next, on the perfect afternoon
with Ashley and Lesley,

MasterChef quarter
finale on BBC's iPlayer.

VOICES ON TV

Well, eat it quickly, Les.

Room temperature plays
havoc with Asda dairy.

Left out an eight-pack of Petits
Filous -- absolute massacre.

Mmm.

DOOR SHUTS

Lovely.

Now, don't go panicking,
it looks worse than it is.

Oh, no -- not this! Tom...

I just had a little accident,
banged my head, but honestly...

- Oh, my God -- he's hit his head, Ashley!
- I'll pause MasterChef.

- A head injury, Christ!
What's your name? - I'm Tom.

Lesley, don't stop eating it!
It'll be tepid in five seconds.

I was just on my bike
and a car door opened.

- Joyce's boy had a head injury and
he ended up a plumber! - Right...

The perfect temperature
is the thing, Lesley!

Who did this to you?

Her name's Ellen Baxter.
She's pretty fit, actually.

- Mmm...
- Ashley!

Yes, well there's no point wasting
a perfectly good rhubarb yog.

Our son!

Liz, I can be concerned and
simultaneously eat a rhuby yog.

There's no right way to grieve.

- I just think I need to sit down.
- Ashley, shift.

Dad, get up.

Yes, let's reconvene after MasterChef.

Kate's made an emulsion.

I thought he was quite... unusual.

Yeah, I was there.

Did you see? I just opened the
door and he slammed right into it.

And I just kind of dusted my
shoulder, kind of easy-osy,

when, "Hmm, fancy seeing you here".

He actually retched at first,
and he... He had some dribble.

So, she's looking at me, like,
"Wham-bam, this guy got some sugar."

It was quite a nice chat, in some ways.

Moments later, I had her
details stuffed in my back pock.

- You didn't give him your number?
- For insurance.

- Still counts!
- Did you tell her you were unemployed?

No, I didn't tell her I'm unemployed.
I don't think publishing a blog entry

- once a day can really mean
that you're... - He is jobless.

- No, fair do's.
- But he's very ambitious.

She sells these craft things online,
like she does these vintage posters.

She's going to an art
class later in Shoreditch.

I mean, it's like I just
cycled into Simone de Beauvoir!

I don't even know who that is.

Well, hold on a minute...

Crikey O'Digby! That's where I saw her.

- Last night.
- In the alley, how weird.

How funny.

That's a sign, isn't it?

I mean, that is the
meaningful hand of fate.

God, it's so obvious. I'll
surprise her at the art class.

- You are not going painting, Tom.
- You don't really paint, Tom.

I used to dabble when I was
younger, I think I can...

- What, at primary school?
- Doesn't matter when. The important thing is,

I'm trained. I particularly
like working with...

- Did you mean primary school, Tom?
- No, I did not!

What do you particularly
like working with?

- Crayon and paper portraits, mainly.
- Oh, shame.

- Potato cut-outs, sometimes.
- Deary me.

- You're a tit in trainers, Tom!
- Love you!

- Hey.
- Um...

Oh, hello. Fine.

Just doing my laces up and
you sort of crept up on me.

Well, I just opened my front door.

Didn't want to interview a suspect
with my laces all flailing around.

Did you say "suspect"?

Can I come in?

Well, I was just going to an art class...

Oh, right. You're busy, are you?

It's just that someone has
driven, with intense speed,

into a Leukaemia charity van.

A Leukaemia...

.. charity van? Um...

Yeah, yeah, I mean, everything,
really -- landscapes, still life,

mobile life, so like a fruit
bowl, but, um, plummeting...

There's a seat for you here.

Ah, lovely.

Um, deary me, my old friend, the easel.

Oooh, Private Pine, standing at ease.

Standing at easel. Standing at easel!

"Standing at easel"? No.

Were there any leukaemia
victims actually in the van?

Oh, no, no.

I don't think they need to
be sort of shuttled around.

- No, I suppose not.
- They're quite mobile. - Yeah.

I mean, a few pots of
paint were spilled, but...

Oh -- so, no human damage, then?

No, no.

Of course, there were the wigs.

Wigs?

The paint ruined all the wigs.

And what are the wigs for?

Well, they're to create
the illusion of hair.

No... In this case, though?

In this case, they're for the children --

so the children can live a
normal life, go to school,

so they're not shunned
for their chemotherapy.

But of course, on this occasion,
they won't get their wigs,

which is devastatingly sad...

.. and enraging.

I get nervous before I paint, sometimes.

It's the thrill of it, isn't it, partly?

What's going to... get drawn.

"Did you ram the van?"

I guess, is the headline.

No, I didn't, no.

No. No?

You see, that's thrown me.

I was hoping you'd confess, because I...

Well, I'm meeting Badger
at five to play badminton

and yes, I will be checking
his shuttlecocks this time

for signs of foul play.

Excuse me?

Hi, have you got a mirror?

No, I don't.

You haven't got just a hand mirror?

No, sorry.

How quickly can you draw, then?

- You want me to draw...?
- No, it doesn't matter. Doesn't matter.

OK, I think we're all
ready to get started.

Hi, sorry I'm late.

Whoa, no-no-no-no, this seat's taken.

There aren't any other chairs.

- Um, er...
- OK, if we're all ready?

OK, Ellen...

Oh, God. No!

No, no...

God, no, no, no, no...

Please, please, don't, don't...

Stop, please, please.

No need, no need... I beg of you...

DOOR SHUTS

'Now, then -- I... Sorry, earlier,
for staring at you -- not staring,

'but inadvertently seeing your
breasts, your body, because...

'It was just because, you know,
you mentioned about the art class

'and just out of interest, because
you'd opened a door in my face --

'which by the way, I don't care --
aching jaws and eyes -- bovvered(?)

LAUGHING: 'But I just didn't assume

'that you'd be getting
your clothes off for money.

'You little slut(!)

'No, no, no, because it's the drawing
is what makes it not perving,

'which is why I did a little
sketch on the bus home,

'show it to you some time.

'I guess the reason I came and
found you, in all your glory,

'was that I just... I
don't know, when I met you,

'we didn't have much time and maybe
I could go for a coffee one day?

'With you -- I wouldn't want to go
on my own, I'd feel like a plum.

'But I'm not... I mean, I
haven't actually said anything,

'so don't make out like I'm sort
of bloody madly strutting around

'with a big banner with
your face all over it.

'You're not Mao Zedong!

'You can redo these sometimes
can't you, um, Ellen?

'Um...'

Text me, bye.

Well, good luck to you, Tom.

'Ellen, um...

'Text me, bye.'

- Yeah, so that's a shame.
- TEXT ALERT

Oh, Cags wants you to send her
Sian's address for the party.

Yeah, OK.

I think maybe this guy likes me.

Yes, obviously he likes
you. He's a stalker!

He likes you so much, he'll
probably want to eat you

and wear your back as a wig.

Use your feet to store
umbrellas, or something.

I thought he might have been all right.

I was thinking of
inviting him to the party

in a "relaxed, don't really
care, inviting you almost because

"I can't be bothered not to invite
you" kind of way, if that...

- Does that work? - No, it
doesn't. Cags, Ellen. - Yes, OK.

But now he's trailed me,
like I'm an antelope...

And stared at you naked,
and called you a slut.

Why is everyone a psychopath?

- Yeah, present company excepted.
- Yeah...

I think I'll just play it safe.

Just send him a short, meaningless
text and give nothing away.

TOM SIGHS

- PHONE VIBRATES
- Oh.

Oh, my God!

She's all over me.

- Dad!
- ASHLEY LAUGHS

Get me to the church on time(!)

There's nothing there,
mate. It's a desert.

- Sorry, Tom.
- No, it's fine.

I should probably forget all about it.

- So, this is the nook.
- This is the vortex.

Guess you can't really
complain about the bishop, Dad.

Supposing I find the other
31 pieces and the board

and start playing chess?

Is this a tactic, Ashley?
To nook my belongings?

- Is this your next play?
- Not at all, no.

I'm just putting some things
we don't need in the nook.

I know you're lying, Ashley. I
can tell from your body language.

What? You don't even know body language.

They don't teach that
to people who can hear.

That's sign language, you bloody
ape! Is that my Saga magazine?

- Oh, God!
- Where?

They're sending me crazy, Maeve.

- Mum said that you harassed someone.
- What? No, no, I didn't. I...

Yes, I followed someone to
an appointment, and yes,

I saw them in the
nuddy-duddy, but that's just...

- Just what gets you off.
- No! Well, I didn't mind it.

- PHONE VIBRATES
- Oh, text.

Oh, oops!

I think this is OK,

but I just accidentally sent
Tom the address to the party.

- Why? - Well, I was
trying to send it to Cags.

- Why didn't you send it
to Cags, then? - Helpful(!)

- Oh, you don't think he's going to...?
- No, I don't think he'll...

Uh-oh, someone just got
invited to a party -- moi, me!

- Oh, my days! What does it say?
- Quite to the point.

"Hey, Cags," which I presume is
some kind of East London slang term,

"colon, address for the party." Simple.

Right. Are you sure it's meant for you?

Hmm, let me just think. Did
it come to my number or not?

Er, yes, it did, so yes,
it was, so let's par-tay!

Does that... mean he's coming?

No. No.

It won't.

- Surely not?
- Surely not.

- Oh, surely not, Tom.
- Let's hit the road!

- Ow! Bloody hell, finger nails, Lesley!
- Oh, sorry, did that hurt(?)

Oh, it's like you sharpen them!

- Well, they don't sharpen
themselves. - What?!

Ding dong, I'm off to the ball.

Tom, the Amstrad! You'll
pass a skip somewhere.

Just dump it for me, please.

This is one of the ones I have to win.

- He got to keep his cactus.
- All right, fine, I don't care.

- Lesley?!
- Go!

Lesley, what's going on?

Nothing.

Oh, good. Luke's dropping
by at some point.

What? Oh, my God, stop it!

I shouldn't have to say this,

but stop using me as sex
bait to get an internship.

The term is actually
"honey trap", Ellen, but...

I don't care. You don't
even know what the UN does.

- Yes, I do!
- What's it do, then?

Jesus Christ, I mean...

- Eloise...? - You can't get help
from a friend. - I don't like Eloise.

OK, well that's not my point.

She's actually fatter
than she is, you know?

Well, I don't understand that, so...

She's actually a fatter
person than she actually is.

- That's the same sentence.
- DOORBELL RINGS

Oh, that'll be Luke now.

Perfect(!)

Ugh, it's you.

Yes, hi. Is Ellen in? She invited...

- No, she didn't.
- She did, actually. Bitten by the bug.

It was an admin error, she told me.

- No, it wasn't. Listen, Cags... - Eh?

I just like her, so just see
what she thinks, because...

- No. - She might... - She
won't. - I'm honestly...

- Oh, you're a worm! - What? - A worm!

- Er... - I knew you'd
do that and I waited,

to save me the bother of
coming back. The answer is "no"!

Hmm.

Luke's here!

CHEERING

Paco Rabanne? Don't mind if I do.

Hmm, pure sex.

SEXUAL MOANS AND LOUNGE MUSIC ON TV

I think I'm in the wrong place.

What are you doing in our flat?

I think I must have gone
too high or too left.

I thought there was a party?

The party is next door.

Stay and watch, if you want.

Um...

TV: 'Oh! Oh, yeah...'

Nah. Nah, you're OK.

Thanks, though.

- She's not pulling any
punches, is she? - No.

- We know her.
- Do you?

Go bowling with her.

That's... lovely.

MOANS CLIMAX

And how are you?

I'm OK.

These were flown in from
Isfahan this morning.

Oh, thank you.

Your favourite cupcake.

You can have as many as you like.

Your figure's brilliant.

- Thank you. - Eat it. - What?

- Come on, eat it up.
- Hermione?

Eat the cupcake. Seriously.

- So, this is all original...
- TV: 'Oh... Oh, yeah...'

- Right.
- .. and we just had it painted.

Did you really? Well, it's a good life.

Um, I'm probably going
to... I'm Tom, by the way.

- Sorry, what were your names?
- Monica. - Monica and...?

Douglas Carol Pine.

- Carol? - Carol can be a
man's name, as well. - OK, OK.

It can't, but fine. I'm
probably going to go...

- Oh, don't leave.
- I really want to.

Oh, please don't. My scene's
coming up. Fast forward, Monica.

Don't, Monica. Monica, don't.

SHE CHOKES

What's happening? She's choking.

- What?
- She's choking on the ring!

- What?! - Oh, my God, tell me
she's got private health insurance!

- Do it properly, Luke!
- Um... Will you marry me?

- MUFFLED COMPLAINTS
- You said she'd be up for this!

- Do the list, Luke!
- Oh, er...

- Ban Ki-moon, 70G a year, um...
- Otter! - .. and I got you an otter.

A ceramic otter, because on your
first weekend away, you saw an otter.

You have to pay me back for
that, by the way, Luke.

ELLEN COUGHS AND RING DROPS

The answer is "no".

I mean, obviously!

Ellen, what's your problem?!
He's a nine, you're six -- max!

- Why am I a...?
- Leeds, maybe!

SEDUCTIVE JAZZ MUSIC PLAYS

Notice how the sax really
cuts through the mix.

Oh, yeah. It does, actually.

Must say, really glad
you took a wrong turn.

Good... Oh, Christ on the old cross, mate!

PARTY MUSIC FROM INSIDE FLAT

Hey, how are you doing?

Lovely.

Which Shrek do you like most?

Oh, my God! I'm calling the
police, he's stalking Ellen!

What? No, don't. Where is she?

- It's ringing.
- Just... That was quick.

I just need to see her
one more time, that's all.

Right, oh, my God!

- Who are you?
- I don't know who these people are.

- Oh, bye, Tom. Nice to see you.
- Absolutely no idea.

- Never met him before in my life...
- Who likes vermouth?

Ellen?

Ellen!

MUSIC: To Be Alone With
You by Sufjan Stevens

THUNDER RUMBLES

'Passenger announcement.

'No trains will be stopping
at this station, folks.

'Can everyone please exit the
station in an orderly fashion

'and seek alternative means
of transport. Thank you.'

PHONE RINGS

- 'Dramatic change of plan, Tom.
- Yes?

'Save the Amstrad at all costs.'

It's pretty poor timing, Mum.

'It's got my diary of the
Leicester years, Tom --

'it's the chronicle of our love.'

It describes our first-ever
bridge game, Tom, it's sacrosanct.

It's not coming home, Mum.

- No! - No! - No! - No! - No!

No, no, it has everything,
Tom, it has everything,

it's got the Harry Ramsden's dinner, Tom.

'I didn't realise --
it's everything, Tom.'

We had three cod between
two that night, Tom.

'Love is like that when you
get together with someone.

'It was heady, it was mad, it
was the Midlands in the '70s!

'Save the Amstrad, Tom!
Save it at all costs,

- 'if it's the last thing you ever...'
- HE HANGS UP

THUNDERCLAP

SONG: First Day Of My Life by Bright Eyes

Repair and Synchronization by
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