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1
00:00:00,102 --> 00:00:02,046
Previously on "Time Traveling Bong"...
2
00:00:02,148 --> 00:00:03,213
Watch out!
3
00:00:03,215 --> 00:00:05,749
Oh, my God. "Time traveling Bong."
4
00:00:05,751 --> 00:00:07,484
[whooshing]
5
00:00:08,820 --> 00:00:10,703
That filthy witch has a tiny cauldron!
6
00:00:10,705 --> 00:00:11,705
Smoke, smoke, smoke, smoke.
7
00:00:11,707 --> 00:00:12,456
No! No!
8
00:00:12,458 --> 00:00:13,823
I found a glassblower.
9
00:00:13,825 --> 00:00:15,315
I think he's gonna do an amazing job.
10
00:00:15,340 --> 00:00:16,993
Your vase-pipe, Sir Jeff.
11
00:00:16,995 --> 00:00:17,979
This looks like shit!
12
00:00:17,981 --> 00:00:18,661
[bleats]
13
00:00:18,663 --> 00:00:20,963
- [screams]
- Oh, God!
14
00:00:20,965 --> 00:00:22,331
Here goes the witch!
15
00:00:22,333 --> 00:00:24,267
[whooshing]
16
00:00:24,269 --> 00:00:25,368
We're not home.
17
00:00:25,370 --> 00:00:26,802
That glassblower
must have messed up the bong
18
00:00:26,804 --> 00:00:28,104
when he blew it. So now what,
19
00:00:28,106 --> 00:00:30,287
the structural integrity
of the bong has changed,
20
00:00:30,289 --> 00:00:31,464
so we can't get home?
21
00:00:31,466 --> 00:00:32,441
I don't know.
22
00:00:32,443 --> 00:00:33,708
[gasps]
23
00:00:33,710 --> 00:00:35,009
I think those are cave people.
24
00:00:35,011 --> 00:00:36,511
- Smoke, smoke, smoke!
- Fuck,it's cashed.
25
00:00:36,513 --> 00:00:37,712
Didn't you bring more weed?
26
00:00:37,714 --> 00:00:38,813
No, I thought we'd be right back.
27
00:00:38,815 --> 00:00:41,342
- I'm peeing.
- Me too!
28
00:00:41,344 --> 00:00:43,651
[both whimper]
29
00:00:43,653 --> 00:00:46,588
[funky music]
30
00:00:46,590 --> 00:00:48,389
31
00:00:48,391 --> 00:00:50,224
[roars]
32
00:00:50,226 --> 00:00:52,259
[caws]
33
00:00:52,261 --> 00:00:55,963
34
00:00:55,965 --> 00:00:59,166
[rapid percussive music]
35
00:01:00,403 --> 00:01:02,536
Jesus, no. Oh, my God.
36
00:01:02,538 --> 00:01:04,538
We're dead meat.
37
00:01:04,540 --> 00:01:05,771
Oh, shit, they're horny.
38
00:01:05,773 --> 00:01:07,240
How do you know?
39
00:01:07,242 --> 00:01:09,375
Their boners.
40
00:01:09,377 --> 00:01:11,010
Whoa.
41
00:01:13,181 --> 00:01:15,348
Hi. Hello.
42
00:01:15,350 --> 00:01:17,917
Hello, hello.
43
00:01:17,919 --> 00:01:19,752
Hi. [chuckles]
44
00:01:19,754 --> 00:01:21,621
[groans] Okay, okay.
45
00:01:21,623 --> 00:01:24,156
Hi. Sharee, what's happening?
46
00:01:24,158 --> 00:01:25,924
I don't know. Just go with it.
47
00:01:25,926 --> 00:01:26,925
[moans]
48
00:01:26,927 --> 00:01:28,127
Okay, hi, ladies.
49
00:01:28,129 --> 00:01:30,028
Okay, shh, shh, shh. Hello.
50
00:01:30,030 --> 00:01:31,663
- Yeah, right there. Ooh.
- Oh, oh, ow.
51
00:01:31,665 --> 00:01:33,832
Ow, ow. Oh, no, my cravat!
52
00:01:33,834 --> 00:01:35,066
That's okay. You can keep it.
53
00:01:35,068 --> 00:01:36,801
Let's go down. Gentle, gentle.
54
00:01:36,803 --> 00:01:38,237
[moans]
55
00:01:38,239 --> 00:01:40,138
- Oh, oh, God.
- Sharee, what's happening?
56
00:01:40,140 --> 00:01:41,372
Okay, shush. Shush, shush, shush.
57
00:01:41,374 --> 00:01:42,973
Yeah, but no teeth. No teeth!
58
00:01:42,975 --> 00:01:43,974
It's fine, it's fine, it's fine.
59
00:01:43,976 --> 00:01:44,975
[moans] Oh, gosh.
60
00:01:44,977 --> 00:01:46,844
[sniffs] Ooh.
61
00:01:46,846 --> 00:01:48,179
Jesus, that knuckle's huge!
62
00:01:48,181 --> 00:01:50,148
Whoo, that is piping hot.
63
00:01:50,150 --> 00:01:51,182
Ah! Oh!
64
00:01:51,184 --> 00:01:52,983
- [moaning]
- Ow, ow.
65
00:01:52,985 --> 00:01:55,386
[moaning crescendos]
66
00:02:01,760 --> 00:02:04,227
[bird caws]
67
00:02:07,566 --> 00:02:08,765
Oh, Sharee.
68
00:02:08,767 --> 00:02:11,101
Sharee, put your shirt on.
69
00:02:11,103 --> 00:02:12,636
We've got to find something
to smoke and get out of here.
70
00:02:12,638 --> 00:02:14,703
Mmmmm...
71
00:02:16,874 --> 00:02:18,218
No.
72
00:02:18,220 --> 00:02:19,375
What are you talking about?
73
00:02:19,377 --> 00:02:20,509
It's horrible here.
74
00:02:20,511 --> 00:02:22,863
It's amazing here.
75
00:02:22,865 --> 00:02:26,114
I had... I had my first
orgasm last night.
76
00:02:26,116 --> 00:02:27,983
- What?
- I'd never had one.
77
00:02:27,985 --> 00:02:29,782
I didn't know what it felt like.
78
00:02:30,024 --> 00:02:30,710
Donnie never asked.
79
00:02:30,735 --> 00:02:32,772
He said he didn't need my life story.
80
00:02:32,774 --> 00:02:34,162
Look, I'm really happy for you.
81
00:02:34,164 --> 00:02:36,405
That's great, but I can't stay here.
82
00:02:36,407 --> 00:02:38,157
Last night started out kind of nice,
83
00:02:38,204 --> 00:02:39,604
but then it got really rough.
84
00:02:39,606 --> 00:02:42,006
These women almost
sucked my dick off, okay?
85
00:02:42,008 --> 00:02:43,955
- They were hungry for it.
- Okay.
86
00:02:44,012 --> 00:02:45,777
They were jamming their
pussies into my mouth.
87
00:02:45,779 --> 00:02:46,978
Okay.
88
00:02:46,980 --> 00:02:48,378
And fingering my asshole so hard.
89
00:02:48,380 --> 00:02:49,547
- All right!
- My penis is raw and blistered.
90
00:02:49,549 --> 00:02:51,214
It looks like a hamburger hot dog.
91
00:02:51,216 --> 00:02:52,683
Okay, I don't need to hear
about your dick skin.
92
00:02:52,685 --> 00:02:55,319
Also, what the fuck is a
hamburger hot dog?
93
00:02:55,321 --> 00:02:57,020
It's a hot dog made of hamburger meat.
94
00:02:57,022 --> 00:02:58,889
Where the fuck is that sold?
95
00:02:58,891 --> 00:02:59,857
Wawa.
96
00:02:59,859 --> 00:03:01,459
I've never seen it.
97
00:03:01,461 --> 00:03:03,427
Please, Sharee, I can't stay here, okay?
98
00:03:03,429 --> 00:03:06,362
"No" doesn't mean "no" here.
It doesn't mean anything.
99
00:03:06,364 --> 00:03:08,297
Can you imagine how terrifying it is
100
00:03:08,299 --> 00:03:10,900
to be in a sexual situation
where at any moment
101
00:03:10,902 --> 00:03:12,830
you could be overpowered?
102
00:03:14,167 --> 00:03:15,572
As I'm saying it, I realize... yeah.
103
00:03:15,574 --> 00:03:17,440
I can picture that, Jeff.
I can... I can picture that.
104
00:03:17,442 --> 00:03:19,175
- Right?
- Sorry, yes.
105
00:03:19,177 --> 00:03:20,643
Okay, all right, give me a few weeks,
106
00:03:20,645 --> 00:03:22,410
and we'll revisit the issue.
107
00:03:22,412 --> 00:03:23,812
Is this because of the 1600s?
108
00:03:23,814 --> 00:03:25,681
Are you still mad?
I thought you were over that.
109
00:03:25,683 --> 00:03:29,608
I was stabbed in the tit yesterday.
110
00:03:29,610 --> 00:03:32,187
I was dunked. I was pressed by rocks.
111
00:03:32,189 --> 00:03:33,321
I almost died.
112
00:03:33,323 --> 00:03:34,823
You get one shitty blowjob,
113
00:03:34,825 --> 00:03:36,091
and you gotta go!
114
00:03:36,093 --> 00:03:38,293
No, no, no, fuck you, all right?
115
00:03:38,295 --> 00:03:40,094
We don't even have weed anyway.
116
00:03:40,096 --> 00:03:41,362
We'll... we'll figure it out.
117
00:03:41,364 --> 00:03:43,130
Just go jerk off in a cave or something.
118
00:03:43,132 --> 00:03:44,665
It'll feel just like home.
119
00:03:45,252 --> 00:03:47,034
I can't jerk off here, Sharee.
120
00:03:47,036 --> 00:03:49,503
This is their porn.
121
00:03:50,172 --> 00:03:51,672
Porn? You don't need porn here.
122
00:03:51,674 --> 00:03:53,541
These people are professionals.
123
00:03:53,543 --> 00:03:55,142
They're not human, Sharee!
124
00:03:55,144 --> 00:03:57,076
- [deep moan]
- ugh, she sounds horny.
125
00:03:57,078 --> 00:03:58,211
I've gotta hide.
126
00:03:58,213 --> 00:03:59,880
I'm gonna find weed.
127
00:03:59,882 --> 00:04:02,015
[grunting]
128
00:04:02,017 --> 00:04:03,817
[sniffing]
129
00:04:03,819 --> 00:04:05,385
[grunts]
130
00:04:05,387 --> 00:04:08,054
[chuckles] She's thirsty.
131
00:04:08,056 --> 00:04:11,057
[percussive music]
132
00:04:11,059 --> 00:04:12,358
133
00:04:12,360 --> 00:04:14,527
[all grunting, sniffing]
134
00:04:23,938 --> 00:04:25,237
[flatulence]
135
00:04:25,239 --> 00:04:27,439
[laughter]
136
00:04:29,876 --> 00:04:34,211
137
00:04:34,213 --> 00:04:35,212
[screams]
138
00:04:35,214 --> 00:04:37,415
[cavemen grunting]
139
00:04:41,454 --> 00:04:44,255
[moaning] Forget it.
140
00:04:44,257 --> 00:04:47,123
[grunts]
141
00:04:47,125 --> 00:04:48,224
[animal roars]
142
00:04:48,226 --> 00:04:50,160
[yells]
143
00:04:50,162 --> 00:04:58,301
144
00:05:02,975 --> 00:05:06,408
Yes!
145
00:05:06,410 --> 00:05:08,611
[snoring]
146
00:05:14,351 --> 00:05:16,518
Sharee! Sharee?
147
00:05:16,520 --> 00:05:18,353
- [growls]
- Holy shit!
148
00:05:18,355 --> 00:05:20,122
[grunting]
149
00:05:20,124 --> 00:05:21,389
What the...
150
00:05:21,391 --> 00:05:23,658
[both grunting]
151
00:05:23,660 --> 00:05:25,994
[purring]
152
00:05:25,996 --> 00:05:28,930
[grunting]
153
00:05:28,932 --> 00:05:31,265
- [purrs]
- What the fuck?
154
00:05:31,267 --> 00:05:34,469
"Tayeena ween." "Tayeena ween!"
155
00:05:34,471 --> 00:05:36,104
Wait, are you doing "Nell"?
156
00:05:36,106 --> 00:05:38,305
You got me, Jeff. I'm improvising.
157
00:05:38,307 --> 00:05:41,141
Okay, whatever.
Look, I found paleo nugs.
158
00:05:41,143 --> 00:05:43,911
Yeah, there's a bunch over there too.
159
00:05:43,913 --> 00:05:45,445
Cool, Sharee.
160
00:05:45,447 --> 00:05:47,615
All right, look, you've had
your weird, shitty fun.
161
00:05:47,617 --> 00:05:48,916
Now let's get the fuck out of here.
162
00:05:48,918 --> 00:05:50,784
No! No, wait, Jeff!
No, no, I love it here.
163
00:05:50,786 --> 00:05:52,552
The raw meat made my period come back.
164
00:05:52,554 --> 00:05:54,454
I've had two rock solid ones already.
165
00:05:54,456 --> 00:05:55,655
It's been a week.
166
00:05:55,657 --> 00:05:57,323
I don't need Klonopin to sleep here.
167
00:05:57,325 --> 00:05:59,425
I don't need Accutane.
Look at, my backne's gone!
168
00:05:59,427 --> 00:06:01,961
Oh, Jesus, you're covered
in scratches, Sharee.
169
00:06:01,963 --> 00:06:04,230
I know.
170
00:06:04,232 --> 00:06:05,231
[sniffs]
171
00:06:05,233 --> 00:06:06,298
Ugh.
172
00:06:06,300 --> 00:06:07,433
I don't want to leave, Jeff.
173
00:06:07,435 --> 00:06:08,668
Every guy I've ever been with
174
00:06:08,670 --> 00:06:10,737
wants me to shave my pubes off.
175
00:06:10,739 --> 00:06:12,470
The guys here love my body hair.
176
00:06:12,472 --> 00:06:14,673
I don't have to shave or wax.
177
00:06:14,675 --> 00:06:16,108
There's no need to Veet or Nair,
178
00:06:16,110 --> 00:06:17,342
which means no Nair burns,
179
00:06:17,344 --> 00:06:19,811
no threading, no plucking, no bleaching.
180
00:06:19,813 --> 00:06:20,879
[yells]
181
00:06:20,881 --> 00:06:23,414
[grunting]
182
00:06:23,416 --> 00:06:25,316
fuck, one of them found me.
183
00:06:25,318 --> 00:06:26,618
Come on, we've got to go right now.
184
00:06:26,620 --> 00:06:28,120
I don't have to electrolysis, Jeff.
185
00:06:28,122 --> 00:06:29,887
- No need to no!no!
- Come on, she's getting closer.
186
00:06:29,889 --> 00:06:31,488
- We gotta go, come on!
- No sugaring, no lasering!
187
00:06:31,490 --> 00:06:33,290
- Please, Sharee!
- Oh, fine.
188
00:06:33,292 --> 00:06:34,458
Come on, Sharee,
we don't have much time.
189
00:06:34,460 --> 00:06:37,061
Ugh, do it.
190
00:06:37,063 --> 00:06:38,228
[whooshing]
191
00:06:38,230 --> 00:06:41,098
[grunting, panting]
192
00:06:41,100 --> 00:06:42,700
[yells]
193
00:06:42,702 --> 00:06:45,402
Oh, Miss Paula D., come on,
I ain't even did nothing.
194
00:06:45,404 --> 00:06:47,303
I was thinking about you hotly,
195
00:06:47,305 --> 00:06:48,938
and now you got to be punished.
196
00:06:48,940 --> 00:06:51,908
It's your fault,
dressing the way you was.
197
00:06:51,910 --> 00:06:52,976
[whooshing]
198
00:06:52,978 --> 00:06:53,943
[both groaning]
199
00:06:53,945 --> 00:06:55,912
Oh, God, ow.
200
00:06:55,914 --> 00:06:56,913
[screams]
201
00:06:56,915 --> 00:06:58,915
Interlopers!
202
00:07:00,285 --> 00:07:01,517
Ohhh.
203
00:07:03,737 --> 00:07:05,670
Oh, God, oh... Slaves?
204
00:07:05,672 --> 00:07:06,838
- This is slave time.
- These are slaves.
205
00:07:06,840 --> 00:07:08,339
These are slaves, yeah.
206
00:07:08,341 --> 00:07:09,740
Shoot 'em, Clyde! Shoot 'em!
207
00:07:09,742 --> 00:07:11,042
Give me a second.
208
00:07:11,044 --> 00:07:12,610
- Get away from her.
- We can save you.
209
00:07:12,612 --> 00:07:13,744
- Get over here.
- Come on, hold onto us.
210
00:07:13,746 --> 00:07:15,246
- Come on, hurry!
- Come on.
211
00:07:15,248 --> 00:07:16,814
- We're gonna save you.
- Shoot 'em, shoot, 'em,
212
00:07:16,816 --> 00:07:18,136
- shoot 'em!
- It's stuck.
213
00:07:18,207 --> 00:07:18,988
Leave the uggs.
214
00:07:18,990 --> 00:07:20,441
I think we've got a little time.
215
00:07:20,443 --> 00:07:21,676
Ah, here we go.
216
00:07:21,678 --> 00:07:23,444
Shoot 'em now! Shoot 'em!
217
00:07:23,446 --> 00:07:25,378
Hold on tight, guys.
218
00:07:25,380 --> 00:07:26,680
[whooshing, gunshot]
219
00:07:26,682 --> 00:07:27,907
Oh!
220
00:07:29,952 --> 00:07:31,325
Paula D.?
221
00:07:32,153 --> 00:07:34,087
[all screaming]
222
00:07:43,998 --> 00:07:45,965
[screaming continues]
223
00:07:49,269 --> 00:07:51,436
[all groaning]
224
00:07:53,641 --> 00:07:56,108
- Where are we?
- I don't know.
225
00:07:56,110 --> 00:07:58,610
[upbeat '60s music]
226
00:07:58,612 --> 00:08:00,476
Whoa.
227
00:08:01,514 --> 00:08:04,215
Get out of the coal mine baby
228
00:08:04,217 --> 00:08:07,018
We got a new fad going around
229
00:08:07,020 --> 00:08:10,387
Going around,going around, going around
230
00:08:10,389 --> 00:08:13,925
231
00:08:13,927 --> 00:08:17,160
Oh, my God, it's 1963.
232
00:08:17,162 --> 00:08:19,496
We did it. We're white saviors.
233
00:08:19,498 --> 00:08:21,564
- You're free.
- You're free.
234
00:08:21,566 --> 00:08:22,633
What's happened here?
235
00:08:22,635 --> 00:08:24,267
Sorry, we time traveled
236
00:08:24,269 --> 00:08:26,870
from slave times to free times, 1963.
237
00:08:26,872 --> 00:08:28,105
Yeah, there's no slavery here, guys.
238
00:08:28,107 --> 00:08:29,506
You're liberated.
239
00:08:29,508 --> 00:08:33,308
It's an awesome time for black people.
240
00:08:33,310 --> 00:08:34,844
- It's not great actually.
- Not awesome.
241
00:08:34,846 --> 00:08:36,245
- In fact, even our time is bad.
- That was too far.
242
00:08:36,247 --> 00:08:37,747
There's, like, a lot of police...
243
00:08:37,749 --> 00:08:39,515
It's maybe better than
slave times by a little bit.
244
00:08:39,517 --> 00:08:40,516
I've been writing about it
on my blog, it sucks.
245
00:08:40,518 --> 00:08:41,717
You gotta take me back.
246
00:08:41,719 --> 00:08:43,719
My children. I got eight children.
247
00:08:43,721 --> 00:08:45,921
That's not counting
the mulattos and the quadroons!
248
00:08:45,923 --> 00:08:48,357
- I'm so sorry, but we can't.
- I'm sorry.
249
00:08:48,359 --> 00:08:49,824
We're stuck here. We don't
know how the bong works.
250
00:08:49,826 --> 00:08:52,060
It's kind of broken,
and you guys are gonna
251
00:08:52,062 --> 00:08:53,528
just have to blend in.
252
00:08:53,530 --> 00:08:55,997
- [sobs]
- We ain't got nowhere to live.
253
00:08:55,999 --> 00:08:57,532
We ain't got nowhere to work.
254
00:08:57,534 --> 00:08:58,900
I don't even know how to read.
255
00:08:58,902 --> 00:09:00,601
Ooh, you got to learn.
256
00:09:00,603 --> 00:09:02,137
Excuse me, miss.
257
00:09:02,139 --> 00:09:03,672
Would you like to join the army?
258
00:09:03,674 --> 00:09:05,439
Get a hot meal and a gun
with your name on it.
259
00:09:05,441 --> 00:09:06,473
You mean, like, a musket?
260
00:09:06,475 --> 00:09:07,675
I like your spirit.
261
00:09:07,677 --> 00:09:09,376
You'll be great on the front lines.
262
00:09:09,378 --> 00:09:11,444
Plus, we'll give you
new, snazzy fatigues.
263
00:09:11,446 --> 00:09:13,814
- Hey, let's do it.
- No, no, no, no, no.
264
00:09:13,816 --> 00:09:15,849
Hold a second. This is a death wish.
265
00:09:15,851 --> 00:09:17,584
- You don't have to go to war.
- I mean, you could model.
266
00:09:17,586 --> 00:09:20,087
- Yeah.
- We ain't got no money!
267
00:09:20,089 --> 00:09:21,722
Now this is a job.
268
00:09:21,724 --> 00:09:23,589
You wanted us to be free?
269
00:09:23,591 --> 00:09:25,357
Well, we is gonna be free in...
270
00:09:25,359 --> 00:09:26,693
Vietnam.
271
00:09:26,695 --> 00:09:29,328
We is gonna be free in Vietnam.
272
00:09:29,330 --> 00:09:30,563
[sighs]
273
00:09:30,565 --> 00:09:31,964
And I'm gonna greet every day
274
00:09:31,966 --> 00:09:34,901
with a hearty, "Good morning, Vietnam!"
275
00:09:34,903 --> 00:09:36,468
all chanting: Vietnam!
276
00:09:36,470 --> 00:09:38,370
Ohh! Vietnam!
277
00:09:38,372 --> 00:09:40,572
[sighs] That's really bad.
278
00:09:40,574 --> 00:09:42,708
But we win Vietnam, right?
279
00:09:42,710 --> 00:09:44,710
I don't think we do. I mean, it...
280
00:09:44,712 --> 00:09:46,211
Oh, of course, no service.
281
00:09:46,213 --> 00:09:47,478
This is getting really annoying.
282
00:09:47,480 --> 00:09:49,147
Oh, God.
283
00:09:49,149 --> 00:09:50,582
all:
Tweedle Dee-dee-dee
284
00:09:50,584 --> 00:09:53,484
Tweedle Dee-dee-dee,
Tweedle Dee-dee-dee
285
00:09:53,486 --> 00:09:55,987
Tweedle Dee-dee-dee,
Tweedle Dee-dee-dee
286
00:09:55,989 --> 00:09:58,422
Tweedle Dee-dee-dee, tweet, tweet
287
00:09:58,424 --> 00:09:59,857
Tweet, tweet
288
00:09:59,859 --> 00:10:02,426
He rocks in the treetops
all day long
289
00:10:02,428 --> 00:10:04,394
Hoppin' and a-boppin'
and singin' his song
290
00:10:04,396 --> 00:10:05,763
Stop it, stop it, stop it!
291
00:10:05,765 --> 00:10:07,497
What the hell are you doing?
292
00:10:07,499 --> 00:10:09,666
You and your big nose
missed your step-ball-change.
293
00:10:09,668 --> 00:10:12,103
Dance like a man!
294
00:10:12,105 --> 00:10:13,637
All right, kids, back in the car.
295
00:10:13,639 --> 00:10:15,571
Michael done fucked it up for everybody.
296
00:10:15,573 --> 00:10:17,107
Sorry about that. Let's go!
297
00:10:17,109 --> 00:10:19,342
- Thanks a lot, Michael.
- Come on, Michael!
298
00:10:19,344 --> 00:10:20,844
Move your fat asses, Jackie and Rebbie!
299
00:10:20,846 --> 00:10:23,412
Let's go, Tito! Hustle, Jermaine.
300
00:10:23,414 --> 00:10:24,948
Come on, La Toya,
with your little fat head.
301
00:10:24,950 --> 00:10:27,083
Get up... move it,
Michael, Marlon, and Randy!
302
00:10:27,085 --> 00:10:28,317
Let's go! Pick up the pace!
303
00:10:28,319 --> 00:10:29,585
[car door slams]
304
00:10:29,587 --> 00:10:31,553
Let's go, Jacksons! Let's go!
305
00:10:31,555 --> 00:10:34,089
You missed your step-ball-change
with your big nose.
306
00:10:34,091 --> 00:10:35,157
That was...
307
00:10:35,159 --> 00:10:36,158
Oh, my God, that...
308
00:10:36,160 --> 00:10:37,325
[both scream]
309
00:10:37,327 --> 00:10:38,493
[both hyperventilating]
310
00:10:38,495 --> 00:10:39,795
That was The Jackson 5.
311
00:10:39,797 --> 00:10:41,296
Wow, La Toya, Jackie, Marlon.
312
00:10:41,298 --> 00:10:42,664
Singing to me.
313
00:10:42,666 --> 00:10:43,999
Shining out his beautiful eyes.
314
00:10:44,001 --> 00:10:45,500
How did I not take a picture?
My phone works.
315
00:10:45,502 --> 00:10:46,802
At least the camera works.
Joe. God, Joe.
316
00:10:46,804 --> 00:10:48,702
- Ooh, he was scary, man.
- Yikes! Ooh!
317
00:10:48,704 --> 00:10:51,239
Really living up to the stereotype.
318
00:10:51,241 --> 00:10:52,439
- Just like the movie.
- Ah.
319
00:10:52,441 --> 00:10:56,177
Ooh, God! Wait.
320
00:10:56,179 --> 00:10:57,812
Maybe that's the reason
321
00:10:57,814 --> 00:10:59,881
we were sent time traveling
in the first place.
322
00:10:59,883 --> 00:11:02,750
To write The Jackson 5's music
and get super rich, yes!
323
00:11:02,752 --> 00:11:06,486
That is really hard not to do
now that you said it.
324
00:11:06,488 --> 00:11:10,390
But what I meant was to save
Michael's childhood
325
00:11:10,392 --> 00:11:11,825
because he was robbed of his, yeah.
326
00:11:11,827 --> 00:11:13,960
Which is why he robbed
so many children of theirs.
327
00:11:13,962 --> 00:11:17,130
We'd be saving Michael
and all of his victims.
328
00:11:17,132 --> 00:11:20,000
Maybe we're supposed to be
changing history for the better.
329
00:11:20,002 --> 00:11:21,634
We're not doing great so far.
330
00:11:21,636 --> 00:11:24,036
We just sent those slaves to Vietnam.
331
00:11:24,038 --> 00:11:26,338
- Ugh, that was so bad.
- That was more you than me.
332
00:11:26,340 --> 00:11:28,240
- That was more you than me!
- That was dumb, that was bad.
333
00:11:28,242 --> 00:11:29,341
- God!
- You know what though?
334
00:11:29,343 --> 00:11:31,277
They might make it out.
335
00:11:31,279 --> 00:11:32,878
You know, we have to do this, right?
336
00:11:32,880 --> 00:11:34,880
- We have to make up for our sins.
- We're gonna do it.
337
00:11:34,882 --> 00:11:36,982
God, we were two New Jersey dildos,
338
00:11:36,984 --> 00:11:39,927
and now we have the chance
to make history better.
339
00:11:39,929 --> 00:11:41,286
Yes.
340
00:11:41,288 --> 00:11:43,754
We are gonna save Michael Jackson.
341
00:11:43,756 --> 00:11:44,776
By kidnapping him.
342
00:11:44,778 --> 00:11:46,057
Love it.
343
00:11:46,059 --> 00:11:47,117
Huh.
344
00:11:47,727 --> 00:11:49,660
But Joe Jackson did see us.
345
00:11:49,662 --> 00:11:51,262
Well, we're gonna need disguises.
346
00:11:51,264 --> 00:11:53,465
Really subtle disguises.
347
00:11:55,501 --> 00:11:57,234
Ooh, good afternoon!
348
00:11:57,236 --> 00:11:58,635
Can I help you?
349
00:11:58,637 --> 00:12:00,204
Oh, well, we were
just looking for the home
350
00:12:00,206 --> 00:12:01,939
of a Mr. Joseph Jackson.
351
00:12:01,941 --> 00:12:02,421
That's me.
352
00:12:02,726 --> 00:12:03,658
Oh, is it?
353
00:12:03,660 --> 00:12:05,594
Well, how lucky are we? Ha ha!
354
00:12:05,596 --> 00:12:07,362
My name is Beverly McClellan,
355
00:12:07,364 --> 00:12:09,876
and this is my colleague, Simon Cowell.
356
00:12:10,944 --> 00:12:13,200
We are producers of a television program
357
00:12:13,202 --> 00:12:14,735
called "The Bee's Knees."
358
00:12:14,737 --> 00:12:15,964
"Bee's Knees."
359
00:12:16,738 --> 00:12:18,271
Yes, "The Bee's Knees."
360
00:12:18,668 --> 00:12:21,008
We were just wondering
if perhaps your children
361
00:12:21,010 --> 00:12:22,643
would perhaps like to audition
362
00:12:22,645 --> 00:12:24,778
to sing and dance on our show.
363
00:12:24,780 --> 00:12:27,332
Sing and dance.
364
00:12:27,917 --> 00:12:29,983
Yes, sing and dance.
365
00:12:29,985 --> 00:12:31,188
Like I said.
366
00:12:31,753 --> 00:12:32,986
How much?
367
00:12:32,988 --> 00:12:33,943
Oh.
368
00:12:34,851 --> 00:12:37,657
The payment would be about 60.
369
00:12:37,659 --> 00:12:38,725
Yeah.
370
00:12:38,727 --> 00:12:40,059
- 60?
- Thousand!
371
00:12:40,061 --> 00:12:42,261
- Thousand?
- What? Mm-hmm.
372
00:12:42,594 --> 00:12:44,130
Kids! Get out on the lawn now!
373
00:12:44,132 --> 00:12:45,765
- 60,000?
- Let's go, Jacksons!
374
00:12:45,767 --> 00:12:48,700
Jackie, Rebbie, Tito,
Jermaine, La Toya, let's go!
375
00:12:48,702 --> 00:12:50,636
Michael, Marlon, Randy,
let's go, Jacksons!
376
00:12:50,638 --> 00:12:52,470
Let's go! Definitely Michael.
377
00:12:52,472 --> 00:12:54,540
Yeah, Michael, Michael,
bring your ass on, come on!
378
00:12:54,542 --> 00:12:56,408
- What about Janet?
- Who?
379
00:12:56,410 --> 00:12:57,976
- Hoo-hoo!
- Not born yet.
380
00:12:57,978 --> 00:12:59,144
Ha ha, just kidding, daddy-o.
381
00:12:59,146 --> 00:13:00,979
Jacksons! Come on, let's go!
382
00:13:00,981 --> 00:13:02,548
Get out there on the lawn!
383
00:13:02,550 --> 00:13:03,697
Ooh.
384
00:13:04,951 --> 00:13:06,116
Are you Michael?
385
00:13:06,118 --> 00:13:08,118
- I'm Jackie.
- Ooh, good luck.
386
00:13:08,120 --> 00:13:09,654
Hey, are you Michael?
387
00:13:09,656 --> 00:13:12,056
- I'm Tito.
- Who's Michael?
388
00:13:12,058 --> 00:13:13,323
I am.
389
00:13:13,325 --> 00:13:17,094
- Daddy!
- [muffled shouting]
390
00:13:17,096 --> 00:13:18,529
[children shouting]
391
00:13:18,531 --> 00:13:20,864
We got the King of Pop.
We got the King of Pop.
392
00:13:20,866 --> 00:13:21,965
Shamoa!
393
00:13:25,580 --> 00:13:26,946
Top of the evening to you.
394
00:13:26,948 --> 00:13:28,414
I'm Beverly McClellan.
395
00:13:28,416 --> 00:13:31,317
We would like one motel room
for us and our son here,
396
00:13:31,319 --> 00:13:32,351
Michael Jackson.
397
00:13:32,353 --> 00:13:33,820
- Fuck!
- Language.
398
00:13:33,822 --> 00:13:37,789
[gentle music]
399
00:13:37,791 --> 00:13:39,247
Thank you so much.
400
00:13:41,194 --> 00:13:43,461
Well, my dogs are really killing me.
401
00:13:43,463 --> 00:13:45,931
Oof, these shoes, mm.
402
00:13:45,933 --> 00:13:48,146
You have such a pretty voice,
Mrs. McClellan.
403
00:13:52,806 --> 00:13:54,371
It's Ms. McClellan,
404
00:13:54,373 --> 00:13:57,374
but, look, we're not
who you think we are, okay?
405
00:13:58,845 --> 00:14:01,679
My name is Jeff,
and this is my cousin, Sharee.
406
00:14:01,681 --> 00:14:03,247
Hi.
407
00:14:03,249 --> 00:14:04,949
But thank you so much for
saying I have a nice voice.
408
00:14:04,951 --> 00:14:06,784
It is insanely flattering
coming from you.
409
00:14:06,786 --> 00:14:10,054
I'm gonna sing for you later.
You might like my voice as well.
410
00:14:10,056 --> 00:14:13,790
Look at that skinny nose.
411
00:14:13,792 --> 00:14:15,736
My dad would love your nose.
412
00:14:16,662 --> 00:14:18,127
He always makes fun of mine.
413
00:14:18,129 --> 00:14:19,062
Oh, no.
414
00:14:19,064 --> 00:14:20,396
No, Michael, your nose is perfect.
415
00:14:20,398 --> 00:14:21,665
Your face is beautiful.
416
00:14:21,667 --> 00:14:22,866
Just as it is right now.
417
00:14:23,483 --> 00:14:26,036
Michael, we had to take you, okay?
418
00:14:26,038 --> 00:14:27,903
We had to make sure
that you weren't abused
419
00:14:27,905 --> 00:14:29,438
and you were nurtured.
420
00:14:29,440 --> 00:14:32,107
You are so insanely talented.
421
00:14:32,109 --> 00:14:35,143
Check it out. You're superhuman.
422
00:14:38,148 --> 00:14:39,381
No.
423
00:14:39,383 --> 00:14:40,449
No, no, no, no, no.
424
00:14:43,854 --> 00:14:45,987
Excuse us just one second.
425
00:14:47,591 --> 00:14:48,923
What are you doing?
426
00:14:48,925 --> 00:14:50,458
I'm hanging out with
Michael Jackson right now.
427
00:14:50,460 --> 00:14:52,159
His music is disappearing.
428
00:14:52,161 --> 00:14:53,327
No.
429
00:14:53,329 --> 00:14:54,629
No, fuck!
430
00:14:54,631 --> 00:14:55,897
Language!
431
00:14:55,899 --> 00:14:57,932
[sighs] We gotta take him back.
432
00:14:57,934 --> 00:14:59,801
- No!
- No, Jeff, how can we?
433
00:14:59,803 --> 00:15:01,002
How can we now?
434
00:15:01,004 --> 00:15:03,369
Come on, we have to weigh
the pros and cons here.
435
00:15:03,371 --> 00:15:04,404
Okay, fine.
436
00:15:04,406 --> 00:15:07,240
Pro, Michael seems like
a healthy, happy,
437
00:15:07,242 --> 00:15:09,142
normal child away from his family.
438
00:15:09,144 --> 00:15:10,711
Yeah, con, bringing him here
439
00:15:10,713 --> 00:15:12,345
is making his music disappear, Sharee.
440
00:15:12,347 --> 00:15:15,224
His music brought joy to
literally billions of people.
441
00:15:15,226 --> 00:15:17,584
Okay, pro.
442
00:15:17,586 --> 00:15:19,619
The dozens to hundreds of children
443
00:15:19,621 --> 00:15:21,353
that Michael molested would be saved.
444
00:15:21,355 --> 00:15:22,497
Allegedly molested.
445
00:15:22,499 --> 00:15:24,223
Alleged, what are you talking about?
446
00:15:24,225 --> 00:15:25,791
- Google it.
- I can't, Sharee.
447
00:15:25,793 --> 00:15:27,827
It's 1963.
448
00:15:27,829 --> 00:15:29,394
Here's a con, if we bring him back,
449
00:15:29,396 --> 00:15:31,296
he might still molest kids,
you don't know.
450
00:15:31,298 --> 00:15:32,965
Pedophilia might be an inborn thing.
451
00:15:32,967 --> 00:15:34,299
The jury's still out on that, right?
452
00:15:34,301 --> 00:15:36,067
I don't know, Jeff. I can't Google it.
453
00:15:36,069 --> 00:15:37,636
- You just covered that.
- Okay.
454
00:15:37,638 --> 00:15:39,971
But the point is we have
the chance to make things right.
455
00:15:39,973 --> 00:15:41,305
That sweet little boy out there,
456
00:15:41,307 --> 00:15:43,074
he doesn't want to be
the Neverland Ranch guy.
457
00:15:43,076 --> 00:15:45,710
I know, he became so weird,
his tattooed beard.
458
00:15:45,712 --> 00:15:47,278
The makeup, and the vitiligo.
459
00:15:47,280 --> 00:15:48,980
And the nose, the glasses and the glove.
460
00:15:48,982 --> 00:15:50,615
Elizabeth Taylor and the wheelchair.
461
00:15:50,617 --> 00:15:52,850
The Blanket incident,
I'm like, "What are you doing?"
462
00:15:52,852 --> 00:15:54,484
He really was abused by his father.
463
00:15:54,486 --> 00:15:56,620
But his father was abused by the system.
464
00:15:56,622 --> 00:15:58,022
Ugh! But his music!
465
00:15:58,024 --> 00:15:59,422
But "Thriller"! The dance!
466
00:15:59,424 --> 00:16:00,991
It doesn't matter. That's a sweet boy.
467
00:16:00,993 --> 00:16:02,626
Okay, you're right, you're right.
468
00:16:02,628 --> 00:16:04,528
You're right, we've got
to do the right thing.
469
00:16:04,530 --> 00:16:05,629
Yes.
470
00:16:05,631 --> 00:16:07,965
We are going to raise Michael Jackson
471
00:16:07,967 --> 00:16:09,399
as our son.
472
00:16:16,141 --> 00:16:18,274
- Ooh. Yikes.
- Ooh.
473
00:16:19,477 --> 00:16:20,543
I'm just gonna...
474
00:16:20,545 --> 00:16:22,945
Take this.
475
00:16:22,947 --> 00:16:25,314
Oh, Henry was a renegade
476
00:16:25,316 --> 00:16:26,715
[all shouting]
477
00:16:26,717 --> 00:16:29,818
Never liked to play it safe
478
00:16:29,820 --> 00:16:31,153
I haven't seen that on the big screen.
479
00:16:31,155 --> 00:16:32,420
It's gonna be all the birds.
480
00:16:32,422 --> 00:16:33,955
...at a time
481
00:16:33,957 --> 00:16:38,293
There's got to be a better way
482
00:16:38,295 --> 00:16:42,064
Oh, people came from miles around
483
00:16:42,066 --> 00:16:44,565
Searching for a steady job
484
00:16:44,567 --> 00:16:46,633
Ooh
485
00:16:46,635 --> 00:16:50,938
It's gonna take itbut we'll make it one day
486
00:16:50,940 --> 00:16:52,807
It's gonna take a long time
487
00:16:52,809 --> 00:16:54,575
[ding]
488
00:16:54,577 --> 00:17:00,480
It's gonna take itbut we'll make it one day
489
00:17:00,482 --> 00:17:02,648
490
00:17:02,650 --> 00:17:03,983
All: Two, one!
491
00:17:03,985 --> 00:17:06,519
Happy 1964!
492
00:17:06,521 --> 00:17:07,520
[noisemaker honks]
493
00:17:07,522 --> 00:17:15,528
494
00:17:15,530 --> 00:17:17,030
[warning alarm blares]
495
00:17:17,032 --> 00:17:21,033
496
00:17:21,035 --> 00:17:22,000
[doorbell chimes]
497
00:17:22,002 --> 00:17:23,202
Good morning, ma'am.
498
00:17:23,204 --> 00:17:24,803
Can I interest you in a hairbrush...
499
00:17:24,805 --> 00:17:26,038
[screaming]
500
00:17:26,040 --> 00:17:27,206
Wherever we're going
501
00:17:27,208 --> 00:17:30,109
- You ready?
- Yeah.
502
00:17:30,111 --> 00:17:32,544
Ah! [groaning]
503
00:17:32,546 --> 00:17:34,613
Ooh, you okay, Michael?
504
00:17:34,615 --> 00:17:36,380
Whatever we're doing
505
00:17:36,382 --> 00:17:38,282
Ah.
506
00:17:38,284 --> 00:17:41,585
It's gonna take itbut we'll make it one day
507
00:17:41,587 --> 00:17:43,921
However we want it
508
00:17:43,923 --> 00:17:45,389
[sighs]
509
00:17:45,391 --> 00:17:48,491
And that's the story of Peter Pan.
510
00:17:48,493 --> 00:17:49,927
I want to go to Neverland.
511
00:17:49,929 --> 00:17:51,162
[sighs]
512
00:17:51,164 --> 00:17:52,629
Fuck,I didn't even think of that.
513
00:17:52,631 --> 00:17:53,897
Language.
514
00:17:53,899 --> 00:17:55,932
Okay, yeah. Thank you, good night.
515
00:17:55,934 --> 00:17:57,056
Jeff.
516
00:17:58,070 --> 00:17:59,469
I said, "Jeff."
517
00:17:59,471 --> 00:18:01,104
Yeah, I heard you.
518
00:18:01,106 --> 00:18:02,672
You're a good boy, Michael.
519
00:18:02,674 --> 00:18:04,040
- Mm.
- We love you.
520
00:18:04,042 --> 00:18:06,176
I love you, too, White Mommy and Daddy.
521
00:18:06,178 --> 00:18:08,511
- Good night.
- Okay.
522
00:18:08,513 --> 00:18:11,180
Night-night.
523
00:18:11,182 --> 00:18:12,714
['60s music plays]
524
00:18:12,716 --> 00:18:14,950
[both sighing]
525
00:18:14,952 --> 00:18:21,957
526
00:18:21,959 --> 00:18:22,808
Jeff...
527
00:18:24,061 --> 00:18:26,149
I can't do this anymore.
528
00:18:26,151 --> 00:18:29,430
Oh, thank God. Me either.
529
00:18:29,432 --> 00:18:30,564
530
00:18:30,566 --> 00:18:31,912
[music stops]
531
00:18:31,914 --> 00:18:34,102
I've been wanting
to say something for weeks.
532
00:18:34,104 --> 00:18:35,804
This is horrendous, okay?
533
00:18:35,806 --> 00:18:37,939
Today I sold one hairbrush,
534
00:18:37,941 --> 00:18:41,209
and I got a lead
for another hair brush sale.
535
00:18:41,211 --> 00:18:44,311
Today I made $3 in tips,
536
00:18:44,313 --> 00:18:48,081
and I was groped relentlessly all day.
537
00:18:48,083 --> 00:18:50,017
When do men stop groping women?
538
00:18:50,019 --> 00:18:51,318
When? Tell me!
539
00:18:51,320 --> 00:18:53,486
- The '90s.
- I hope so.
540
00:18:53,488 --> 00:18:55,422
Maybe post-9/11. I don't know.
541
00:18:55,424 --> 00:18:57,825
Everybody's red.
All the white people are red.
542
00:18:57,827 --> 00:18:59,392
Yeah, 'cause they're
in the sun with no sunscreen.
543
00:18:59,394 --> 00:19:00,726
- It's like...
- And then they're...
544
00:19:00,728 --> 00:19:02,261
Everybody's a fucking alcoholic.
545
00:19:02,263 --> 00:19:04,263
- I tried to buy sunscreen.
- It doesn't exist yet.
546
00:19:04,265 --> 00:19:05,998
When do they invent SPF?
547
00:19:06,000 --> 00:19:07,599
That guy's gonna make a fucking mint.
548
00:19:07,601 --> 00:19:08,634
Ooh.
549
00:19:08,636 --> 00:19:11,637
If I have to eat one more Jell-O mold
550
00:19:11,639 --> 00:19:14,373
or plate of Spam, I'm gonna
fucking kill myself.
551
00:19:14,375 --> 00:19:17,736
I have a spare tire made of mayonnaise.
552
00:19:19,046 --> 00:19:20,378
And you know this shit doesn't work.
553
00:19:20,380 --> 00:19:22,447
Thank God for the diet pills.
554
00:19:22,449 --> 00:19:23,715
Ugh.
555
00:19:25,385 --> 00:19:27,219
I can't wear this
gabardine shit anymore!
556
00:19:27,221 --> 00:19:28,786
Everything is itchy.
557
00:19:28,788 --> 00:19:32,023
I've been uncomfortable
since the first day we got here.
558
00:19:32,025 --> 00:19:34,358
- Being a parent is so hard.
- Ugh!
559
00:19:34,360 --> 00:19:36,160
- The PTA meetings.
- Ew.
560
00:19:36,162 --> 00:19:38,128
- Making lunches every day.
- Ew.
561
00:19:38,130 --> 00:19:39,563
Avoiding the cops
'cause we stole a child.
562
00:19:39,565 --> 00:19:40,675
Yeah, I don't know
what we were thinking.
563
00:19:40,700 --> 00:19:42,333
Yeah, we should have spent
that belt machine money
564
00:19:42,335 --> 00:19:43,786
on more diet pills.
565
00:19:45,171 --> 00:19:48,138
No, I'm talking about
kidnapping Michael Jackson.
566
00:19:48,140 --> 00:19:49,706
Oh, yeah, that. Ugh.
567
00:19:49,708 --> 00:19:51,774
We took a human child.
568
00:19:51,776 --> 00:19:53,146
Should we kill him?
569
00:19:55,513 --> 00:19:56,612
- No!
- Yeah, no.
570
00:19:56,614 --> 00:19:58,414
- We're not gonna kill a child.
- No, no.
571
00:19:58,416 --> 00:19:59,682
We're not gonna kill the King of Pop.
572
00:19:59,684 --> 00:20:00,884
Yeah, yeah, no.
573
00:20:00,886 --> 00:20:02,952
Who are we to say what
history should and shouldn't be?
574
00:20:02,954 --> 00:20:04,220
- No us.
- No.
575
00:20:04,222 --> 00:20:05,821
I don't trust us.
576
00:20:05,823 --> 00:20:07,423
We are idiots!
577
00:20:07,425 --> 00:20:09,024
When we get to a place,
we should not touch anything.
578
00:20:09,026 --> 00:20:10,158
- Yes.
- We should just look around.
579
00:20:10,160 --> 00:20:11,860
We should look around and go.
580
00:20:11,862 --> 00:20:13,461
It's like we smoke,
if it's not home, we smoke out.
581
00:20:13,463 --> 00:20:16,231
But we can't just bring him back.
582
00:20:21,205 --> 00:20:22,971
Now before we go, Michael,
583
00:20:22,973 --> 00:20:26,774
I want you to remember you're
beautiful just the way you are.
584
00:20:26,776 --> 00:20:30,311
Also, publishing rights.
Buy The Beatles' music.
585
00:20:30,313 --> 00:20:32,182
It's just a little tip from White Daddy.
586
00:20:32,448 --> 00:20:34,597
I hope you learned something from us.
587
00:20:35,686 --> 00:20:37,084
I learned that it's okay to take
588
00:20:37,086 --> 00:20:38,819
little boys from their homes.
589
00:20:38,821 --> 00:20:39,954
- Oh, fuck
- Shit.
590
00:20:39,956 --> 00:20:41,389
Language!
591
00:20:41,391 --> 00:20:43,023
- Okay. Good-bye, Michael.
- All right, bye.
592
00:20:43,025 --> 00:20:45,158
[doorbell chimes]
593
00:20:49,331 --> 00:20:53,333
Michael. Oh, my God, Michael.
594
00:20:53,335 --> 00:20:55,969
[dramatic music]
595
00:20:55,971 --> 00:20:57,837
I see you!
596
00:20:57,839 --> 00:20:59,138
Oh, I'm gonna get you.
597
00:20:59,140 --> 00:21:00,372
Yeah, uh-huh.
598
00:21:00,374 --> 00:21:02,041
Go, smoke.
Get the bong, get the bong, go!
599
00:21:02,043 --> 00:21:04,109
Nobody steals my son!
600
00:21:04,111 --> 00:21:05,844
I'm gonna get you! Go, go, go, go.
601
00:21:05,846 --> 00:21:08,213
[whooshing]
602
00:21:08,215 --> 00:21:10,149
The fuck?
603
00:21:10,151 --> 00:21:11,951
[whooshing]
604
00:21:11,953 --> 00:21:13,752
[both groan]
605
00:21:13,754 --> 00:21:15,520
God.
606
00:21:15,522 --> 00:21:17,455
Ooh, doesn't get any easier.
607
00:21:17,457 --> 00:21:19,958
For once I wish we'd land in a pond.
608
00:21:19,960 --> 00:21:22,327
Where the fuck are we?
609
00:21:24,697 --> 00:21:26,164
Holy shit!
610
00:21:26,166 --> 00:21:27,665
Sharee, this is it,
611
00:21:27,667 --> 00:21:29,567
the best time period there is
in human history.
612
00:21:29,569 --> 00:21:32,270
Ancient Greece, the era of symposiums
613
00:21:32,272 --> 00:21:34,338
that gave birth
to philosophy and literature.
614
00:21:34,340 --> 00:21:35,372
Plus they have plumbing.
615
00:21:35,374 --> 00:21:36,639
And Greek salad.
616
00:21:36,641 --> 00:21:38,808
Oh, I would kill for a Greek salad.
617
00:21:38,810 --> 00:21:40,776
both: Greek salad!
618
00:21:40,828 --> 00:21:45,140
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00:21:45,190 --> 00:21:49,740
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