All language subtitles for The Wrong Girl s01e04.eng

Just a little gift for later.

It's for $30,000.

I was gonna wait till the baby was born,

but I thought maybe you could
use it now to get set up.

- It's nothing to Mitchell.
- That's not the point.

I don't wanna be 30 grand
in debt to your ex-boyfriend!

You were out of home at 17, Dad. I'm 31.

It's a very different
circumstance, mate.

Are we seriously becoming the family

that has to convince our
mother that her Botox is OK?

I have got to move out.

I think I've met the one.
Which is the everything part.

I can't stop thinking about him.

You're working with him.

Suss him out, tell me what you think.

You hot for him or something?

- What?
- You heard me.

- No.
- You are.

I am not!

Jack was just a total hero with Eric,

and now I'm rethinking
our compatibility levels.

I think they might be as high as 70%.

Oh, my God.

Honestly, I thought it was funny.
I didn't give it a second thought.

It's just Simone's my best friend...

Look, Simone and I,
whatever happens between us

is completely separate to you and I.

Oh!

- Simone...
- Oh, no.

Take it! Yep, t-t-take...
Do-don't mention anything about me.

OK, I'm here, where are you?

The station, outside the station.

OK, there are four different
exits to the station,

so which one do you think you might...

Um, I've forgotten how to breathe.

OK, you're definitely breathing, Simone.

Breathe. Tell me what you can see.

Uh, buildings...

People and cars...

OK, can you drop a pin for me?

- Go into your maps...
- My phone's not working...

You're speaking on it,
Simone! You're speaking on it!

- Water! Flowing water! I'm in it.
- OK!

Lil! Oh, my God. I can't
believe you're here.

- Hang on.
- What are the odds, huh?

- You, and me and the fountain.
- Just stay there.

It's OK, I've got you.

Ugh.

You wanted to see me? What's wrong?

- This Saturday, my sister's getting
- married in the Barossa Valley,

and I'm a bridesmaid.

- Lovely.
- It's not.

It's offensive on a number of
levels, but it's good for you

because I want you to call the show.

Really? Are you... are you sure?

- I'm not...
- No. Do not hesitate.

Something like this happens, you've
gotta grab it with both hands.

We're going again. Lily, could
you call the show Saturday?

Just first, has this been run by Eric?

Last chance! Lily, this
Saturday, could you...

I would love to call
the show this Saturday.

I believe I'm ready and
I will not let you down.

You better not.

Now what are you doing? Get working.

- This is make or break.
- Yes, sorry.

Mmm, oh.

Mmm, oh.

Oh, my God! Congratulations!

Oh. What do we even call your job now?

It's still the same job,
Simone, it's just one show.

- Yeah, but it's a big step, right?
- Big-ish.

Well, get changed because
I called Jack and Vincent

and we are going to Mister Nicol's.

- What? No, I'm not going anywhere.
- But it's your big night!

I will celebrate on Saturday
night, if it's a success.

- What is that?
- Your number one outfit select.

I also have second,
third and fourth options.

Please. Do it for Vincent.

He said if he doesn't get a
night away from your mother,

he might literally explode.

- I said he could stay over.
- Oh...

Also, Jack's coming, and I
really need this to go well,

because he said that he wanted
to have dinner and a chat.

What's wrong with
that? That sounds good.

I'm bad with dinner and chats.

The best times with me and
Jack have been at parties.

I just wanna get back to that
cool Simone, queen of celebration,

who's really amazing
with her paralysed friend.

I think that will fix it.

OK, I will come for one drink, but
I'm not staying all night and...

Thank you, thank you,
thank you, thank you.

I-I-I've not
finished that.

Yeah, I think I should
get you a fresh one.

- I know you think I'm a dickhead.
- I don't.

- A financial dickhead.
- Maybe.

But can you just give me a year?

Give me a year to make the
money myself. If I can, great.

If I can't, then Mitchell's
offer will still be there.

Who's that?

Ah, it's Simone.

Lily's had some career thing,
they're just having drinks.

And you'd rather be there than
here, arguing over finances?

What? No, I love finances!

You can go out with your
friends, Pete. It's OK.

- And you can have nine months.
- Nine months?

To try and get it together financially.

But if we still need more...

Then we can surgically
remove my ball sack.

Oh, please, don't say that.

Then I'll go to Mitchell and
I'll accept his offer gratefully.

- OK? Promise.
- Good.

Oh, my clever girl!

No, not that clever yet.

Hopefully the cleverness
will happen on Saturday.

- Oh. Oh, I've got that.
- No, Mum, it's fine. I've got it.

- No, it's fine. It's fine.
- I can... I can take it.

Darling, just while I've got you...

She is caving my head in.

Promise me you won't
let him get too drunk.

Mum, I think his goal for the night
is to get drunk. He'll be fine.

- Go.
- Alright. Alright.

Don't forget to turn him, if
he's been drinking heavily.

Mum, I won't forget. Go.

So, basically, you're set for life?

It's one show. And I could
completely stuff it up!

- I could be unemployed on Sunday.
- You know you won't.

And how did he react?

The chef? Did he give you
a bit of congratulations?

- He was super-professional.
- Mmm-hmm.

That's how we are now.

Well done.

I'm assuming I come
to you for a raise now?

So, no residue from
your little moment, then?

- Shut up!
- What? She can't hear.

There was no moment.

- OK?
- OK.

Simone is completely paranoid
he's gonna break it off with her.

- Is he?
- How would I know?

- Because of you?
- No!

We're not talking about this anymore.

- OK.
- Let's do you.

OK, well, in light of the 30
grand offer the other night,

Meredith decided we needed
to talk about money...

No, no, I've got... I've got...

Look, I mean, this isn't
everything, obviously.

I've got super accounts. Heaps of them.

So, I thought, OK, I'm just gonna
double down with the writing.

It's 1,500 words, rapping
in an Australian accent.

Is there a cringe factor? Why?

Boy bands of the '80s?
Where are they now?

Rehab? Reality TV? Total
obscurity? Who knows?

It's the day of the gig,
track the band dawn till dawn,

from sound check to groupie three-ways.

Probably not literally.

I had one of my best days
ever. I sold three articles.

But that only amounted to $802,
so basically I'm 20 bucks away from

either, A, letting my
girlfriend's ex pay for my child

or, B, begging Bernard
the Cock for a job.

What about C, you go out and get
a normal job, like a normal person?

- Thanks for that insight, Lil.
- You're welcome.

Knew you'd be understanding.

I am understanding!
Pete, you are normal.

Remember to inhale. Remember to inhale.

Oh, my God, he is gorgeous.
You're making me nervous.

Is that dimple real, or is
that surgically enhanced?

I'm not playing. You
need to learn to be quiet.

- I'm a bit nervous.
- It's a real dimple, actually.

- Hey.
- Hey.

Lil. I didn't realise we
were all going to be here.

Really? I thought Sim
would have told you...

- This is Pete!
- I have heard so much about you.

You're basically all we talk about.

- What?
- Yeah, no, totally.

Like, I'd say three
conversations a day, minimum.

He's just being weird.

Don't be weird. Ah!

Sorry, Pete, was it?

- Yep, yep.
- How do you know Simone?

I'm sure that I've spoken
to you about Pete before!

Um, remember when I
was telling you the...

Mmm? Uh, just so many times!

- I can't think of one specific thing!
- Too many.

Basically, whenever I speak
about my friend, I mean Pete.

Let's dance!

- Have fun. Get stuck into it.
- 'Bye.

OK, first discovery.
I mean nothing to you.

Second, they are totally on the rocks.

And third, it's
definitely because of you.

I just thought it was going
to be the two of us tonight.

Oh, it was.

But then Lily's job thing happened,
so I thought... celebration!

I do have to work tomorrow,

so probably can't
stay out all that long.

Jack... are you not that into this?

What?

'Cause I'm... really into you.

Like, the other day I realised

we don't actually have
a picture together.

I didn't actually Photoshop one, but...

That's where I'm at, but I
feel like you're not there.

It's just been so hectic with
the restaurant and the show.

You know what? I think we need to
sit down and have a proper chat.

A chat?

I reckon you should come
around to mine tomorrow,

I'll cook dinner and we can
talk, just the two of us.

Mmm-hmm. Yeah.

Maybe he was just tired?

I feel that. I respect that.

- He only stayed for 15 minutes.
- It was over an hour.

And he invited you over to have
dinner with him tomorrow night.

- That's great.
- He wants to end it with dinner.

- Like the mafia.
- No.

And the mafia would
do it in a restaurant.

I think that you and I
should just get out there,

dance till dawn, make it
the best night in forever,

and make everyone in
this bar jealous of us.

Or, alternatively, we go
home, we put on our PJ's,

we stick on 'Spice World', and
we crack into the ice-cream.

Hah!

No. Come on. Let's go.

I think I actually left the
ice-cream out in preparation, so it...

- Hey! Baby!
- Hey!

You came!

God, you texted Lucas already?

I just... he makes me
feel good about myself.

That's what he does.

- I'm not gonna sleep with him.
- You always sleep with him.

- Lillinator!
- Hi.

Looking fine tonight.
This cocktail, yours?

- Don't mention it.
- Uh, no, really, I won't.

Baby, baby, what's wrong?

I'm fine. I just... I want to dance.

Well, come on, baby, on the floor!

Come on, baby, on the floor!
Come on, baby, on the floor!

Just stay out of it, Lillinator.

I am out of it.

Yep, so is he.

Feel bad kicking you out of
your bed on your night of glory.

The glory faded long ago.

So, who is she officially
screwing, Jack or Lucas?

It's alright, I've got it.

Uh, officially Jack. Unofficially Lucas.

- Right. Do either of them know?
- No-one knows.

- Presumably Simone does.
- Oh, Simone is across it, yes.

Lil, um, I've gotta
get out of mum's place.

I love her, but she's
draining my will to live.

You comfy?

Snug as a bug in a waterproof rug.

- Night.
- Night, Lil.

Advertise your product or brand here
contact www.OpenSubtitles.org today

Shh. Stay asleep. Stay asleep.

- Good morning.
- Morning.

Did you get my email?

Yeah, I liked the second
idea. The 15-minute challenge.

Great, yeah, every time
we've done a time challenge,

it's played really well on screen.

- How did Simone go last night?
- Um, in what sense?

- She seemed a bit down.
- Um, yeah. She perked up.

So, I was thinking we could
split the segment in two.

Did you guys stay out late last night?

No, no, we got home, it would
have been shortly after midnight.

Excuse me.

Hello?

- I can't feel my nostrils.
- What? Where are you?

I can't feel my nostrils
and I can't breathe.

- OK, just tell me where you are.
- I don't know.

Lucas left. I'm so hot!

OK, are you outside? Can you
see a street sign or something?

Uh, I can see... the station.

Yeah, the station near the club.

Stay put. I'm coming to you.

- Everything OK?
- Yeah, I've, um...

I've just got a bit
of a family emergency.

Who?

It's, um... it's a mum and
Vincent thing. I'm sure it's fine.

- Need me to give you a lift?
- No. You stay here.

Can you just pick a recipe that fits,
and I'll be back in half an hour?

Let me know if I can help.

Oh!

- Lil!
- Hi.

Oh, my God! I can't believe you're here!

- Hang on.
- What are the odds, huh?

- You and me and the fountain.
- OK, hang on.

- Come on. Come on. Hey.
- Oh.

Can you remember what you took?

No, I was so hot, and
I couldn't breathe,

and everyone had left, you know?

Yeah.

Come on.

Come on, we'll get you
looked at, honey. Come on.

Don't worry.

Alright, I gotcha.

- You look really tired, babe. You OK?
- I'm fine.

Nothing to see here.

Nice deep breath in.

And out.

And in.

Good. And out.

See, you're nailing it.

You won't even have to
think about it in a minute.

So she's OK?

Yeah, she's dehydrated,
but her temperature's fine.

You did really well,
cooling off in the fountain.

- Thank you.
- You're welcome.

Is it safe to leave her alone?

Yeah, I can look after her.

- Bless you.
- Come on.

One more sip.

Everything OK?

Yeah. It was a... it's
fine. All fine. Yeah.

Sasha was looking for you.
I said you were on a call.

Thanks.

First curve ball. There's
a problem. With Eric.

He doesn't want me to call the show?

No, no. You're fine
this week. It's Erica.

He's concerned that Erica has been
looking smarter than him on air.

- In the Talking Point segment?
- Started with that, yeah.

Eric, where do you stand on
constitutional acknowledgement?

Well, I-I...

I concur.

With me? Or with the current
wording of the preamble?

Both.

Then in the Entertainment Round-Up,

she corrected his pronunciation.

Now, believe it or not, it's 30 years

since the release of 'Whispering Jack'.

No?! It is. I know, I can't believe it.

- Farnsie's se-my-nal album...
- Seminal.

I think the word's 'seminal'.

Then she laughed in his face...

Look, I'm sorry, I really am,

but a responsible parent
immunises their child.

I mean, I am just so sick of
these anti-vasectomy people.

Eric wants a brain, which is
something we'll have to outsource.

So I've told him we'll stick
some brainiac on the mic,

feed him stats, facts,
gags, whatever he wants.

Can one of us do that,
or do we need to get...?

You'll be too busy.
He doesn't like Dale.

And Nikkii... can't do
it, for obvious reasons.

What? You thinking of someone?

They should be good at
massaging egos as well.

How much money would we be offering?

I'm conflicted. I feel
flattered that you're asking,

because I'm possibly the
smartest person you know.

- Not the reason.
- But then I feel a little...

What? Grateful? Thankful? Excited?

It's not exactly my area, Lily.

Pete, I thought you were saying

you were in some sort
of financial crisis?

- How many days are we talking?
- Well, Saturday would be a trial.

But if it worked, potentially
every Saturday and Sunday.

- And you'd be my boss?
- Yes, on Saturday.

After that, not your
boss, but your superior.

The dynamic should feel familiar.

Pete, what is there to think about?

I would still like to work in an area

that I'm actually
interested in, you know?

Just so we're clear, you'd rather
risk your baby starving to death

than take this job?

What was that?

I just wanted to record
the moment that you used

the potential death of my
baby to win an argument.

Well... there is a record
of the disdain you displayed

when I put myself on the
line to get you employment.

That's you being ridiculously
inflammatory to win an argument.

Oh, no, wait. That's you every day.

Pete, are you interested or not?

Uh...

Can I have a day to think about it?

You can have 12 hours, max.
That's to think about it.

But I suggest you spend longer

thinking about your
behaviour here today.

Inflammatory.

I really like it.

I just feel like it's
getting a bit... intelligent.

I love that that's
become a derogatory term.

It's the talking point segment.
It's meant to be vaguely intelligent.

Personally, I'd swap it
out for Summer Accessories.

Ooh. I really like
Summer Accessories too.

I mean, summer accessories
is a proven winner.

But, hey, if you wanna use your one
chance for some kamikaze talk-fest,

well, I do respect your bravery.

- Lily, can I speak to you?
- Just a sec.

I just spoke to Simone.

Yesterday, I asked you, specifically,

did Simone get home OK?

- You said yes.
- I know, but I...

Why would you ever say
someone's safe and sound,

when they haven't even come home yet?

She's fine. I just checked on her.

I'm sorry. I didn't think it
was my place to say anything.

- Who's this Lucas?
- Oh. Oh.

- Can we talk about this later?
- You obviously know him.

Lucas is... he's Simone's ex.

And she seems to call him
whenever she gets vulnerable.

I'm sorry, I didn't know.

I thought everything was off with them,

and it's never really been
on, not in a meaningful way.

It's always just been about sex.

She didn't mention anything about sex.

So, not only did you neglect to
tell me she had a drug problem,

you also failed to mention
she was screwing someone else.

I told Simone to talk
to you about this, I...

What was I supposed to
do? She's my best friend.

She asked me not to say anything.

I couldn't betray my friend.

I mean, I need the work, but I
don't wanna give up on all my dreams.

- Mmm. Nah, dreams are good, mate.
- I know.

- Those are bloody important.
- Exactly.

'Course, Lily's right,
your dreams are on ice now.

- What?
- Yeah.

Will be for the next 20 years, at least.

Then when you thaw them out,

they're not gonna look the
same, I'll tell you what.

Hang on, you were fulfilled,
though, weren't you?

When I was a kid. You
loved playing footy.

Yeah, that was till you were three.

Then it was slogging away,
managing the surf club.

Oh, how low's the bar?
Exactly how bad is this job?

Well, it'd be writing patter,
basically, for this one host,

and it'd take up all the weekend.

How much?

500 a day.

1,000 bucks a week? Writing for telly?

You get to keep your hands
clean and your pants on?

- Well...
- You're a bloody dickhead, mate.

I haven't said no, I just... I don't
wanna make any sudden choices and...

You're done making choices,
you were done making choices

the second that baby started
growing in Lily's belly.

Meredith, Dad. It's Meredith's belly.

It's all on one level, bathroom
and kitchen need updating,

but we'd have to do that
anyway, and what about the area?

- You are unbelievable.
- What?

I'm not buying the
house across the road.

Why not? Darling, it
makes perfect sense.

You can have your independence, and
I'm right over there if you need me.

But I don't need you.
I don't need you, Mum!

That's the point. It's
not just my independence.

I wanna live my life without you
being across every step I take.

Mum, I think Vincent's
just trying to say that

he's 31 years old and
he needs his privacy.

- What for?
- What for?

- Maybe I wanna watch porn!
- Oh.

No, I already watch it. All the time.

- OK, calm down.
- But it's not satisfying.

'Cause I gotta keep a bloody
hand on the door the whole time.

Maybe we can set up a system.

What happens if I wanna
bring someone home?

That's ridiculous, of course you
can bring all your friends home.

Not friends, Mum. Women.

What happens if I want
to bring a woman home

for the sole purpose of having
outrageous porn-inspired sex?

Well, sweetheart, I don't really
think that's on the cards, is it?

Mum. You know that that
is entirely possible.

I'm just being realistic.

I know that one day
you'll find a gorgeous...

Oh, for fuck's sake,
I am so sick of you.

- I beg your pardon?
- I'm sick of you.

- You're sick of me?
- Yes!

You're sick of me?

Just what exactly are
you sick of, Vincent?

Is it the three meals a day?
The round-the-clock care?

The daily massages? What
exactly are you sick of?

I wake up and all I can hear
every morning is your voice,

your nagging voice, all day, every day.

I have no idea how Dad stayed so
long with you, I honestly don't.

- Vincent, shut up. That's enough.
- No, no!

I don't know how to
get it through to you.

I'm not your project, Mum! Get a
bloody hobby and leave me alone!

Feel better?

Mum.

Mum!

Where are you going?

Mum, are you OK?

- He hates me.
- No, he doesn't hate you.

No, he just... he's got
so much frustration in him.

He doesn't know where to put it all.

He's gone home now,

so just leave him alone for
a little while to calm down.

I know I should be grateful

that he didn't die.

And I am, of course I am.

And I know it makes me
selfish and greedy and pitiful,

but... I miss my boy.

I miss the way he was.

What kind of a mother does that make me?

An honest one.

What if I let him go and
he gets even more hurt?

He could, Mum. But so
could I. So could any of us.

You can't protect him forever.

Hey. You've gotta let him move out, Mum.

Yeah.

- Ah.
- Come on.

Yeah, I responded to that email.

They think it's gonna be too
political, but it won't be.

The tone will be upbeat and energetic.

Yep. Hey, can I call you back
in a little bit? Thanks. Thanks.

So, I've, ah... I've been
thinking about your offer,

your very kind offer.

Have you also been reflecting
on your personal conduct?

Greatly, and not just
my conduct for yesterday,

but for all the years
that I've known you.

And what conclusions have you drawn?

Well, the main takeaways are that

you've always been
right, about everything.

And that everyone in my life, your
life, possibly the entire planet,

would be greatly improved

if everyone just
listened to you all along.

So, is the job still on offer?

Pete, tomorrow is the biggest
day of my career to date.

- I know.
- If you fuck it up, I will kill you.

Will you support my baby after my death?

- Maybe.
- Mightn't be such a bad outcome.

Oh my God, do you ever sleep.

I can't even comprehend
how nervous you must be.

Lily here's the breakdown.

- It's going to be a great show.
- Fantastic.

Hey. I'd give you a hug, but
probably wouldn't be appropriate, eh?

Hi.

- Did you get the email?
- Yep.

- Have you read the breakdown?
- Yes.

Just remind me, which host is he again?

I'm just kidding.

Today I'm not gonna
laugh at your jokes, Pete.

- Sound like a challenge.
- No, it's not a challenge.

- Really?
- Shut up.

- You OK?
- Yeah.

You seem stressed.

- You must be Eric's brain.
- Ah, Pete.

- Nice to meet you Pete.
- You too.

- Where is Syria?
- Uh, the Middle East.

Ah it borders the Mediterranean Sea,

Turkey, Lebanon, Israel, Iraq and...

Jordan. Why is dredging problematic?

Uh, it obliterates the sea bed
floor, it kills marine wildlife,

it's a major threat to
the Great Barrier Reef.

What year did Eric win the Gold Logie?

Ah!

Alas, that's probably the
only answer you need to know.

Good luck.

You'll be fine.

What year was it?

Yeah.

Hi, Eric, I just wanted to
introduce you to Pete Barnett.

He is going to be
working with you today.

Ah, yes of course welcome,
come on in, please take a seat.

Thanks.

- Nice to meet you.
- You too.

First foray into the
televisual world then?

Ah yeah it is.

All a bit overwhelming I imagine.

Ah!

You know what the biggest
challenge is going to be

just keeping up with me to be honest.

Right. Well any advice you
can give is more than welcome.

Well, first and foremost: do not
repeat, do not try to imitate me.

My speech pattern, my rhythm.

If you will and honestly
save yourself the heartache.

In other words do not
try to write "Eric gags".

Oh right, I sorta thought
that was the general idea.

- It's no no no no no no...
- No.

- That's that's what I do.
- Great OK.

Pete, you feed me the data.

The facts, the stats, the who,
the where, the what, the why.

You bring me the world.

I put it through the magic
Eric filter add the funny and...

spin it into gold.

- Brilliant.
- Absolutely.

And welcome back...

- Well, have you heard of cosmetic...
- We're coming back to him

- on camera two, so ready and...
- What about the Brazilian butt lift?

- Camera 2. On one.
- I know, right.

Coming up soon we'll
hear about the latest

- and strangest cosmetic surgery fads...
- Cosmetic surgery

actually went up 10%
this last year alone.

- But first, Erica?
- Cross to Erica.

Camera 3.

It's the controversial report
that has everyone talking.

The Dalgaard Foundation
released a paper this week

listing some benefits for children
raised by same sex couples.

- And...into the package.
- It's our Talking Point this morning.

"A ground breaking study has found that

- children of same sex parents actually... "
- Great, can we...

Pete, Pete, I think Eric
wants you quickly on the floor.

Paul? What's his name, Pete?

I can almost sniff a Walkley,

but it's consumed by the
aroma of Red Carpet Round-Ups

and Home-Shopping Bargains.

- Hey, sorry about that last stat before.
- It's fine. It's all fine.

- I could use a bit, a bit of...
- What's that?

Substance. Detail, seasoning...

- All of that. All of that. All of that.
- All right. Sorry, sorry.

According to experts,
gay couples are generally

better prepared to have children and...

So, how... how's it going?

This is a stark contrast...

Same as all the other shows.

I don't know if that's a good thing.

Two minutes till the cooking segment.

Jack, 2 minutes. You all good?

- Yep.
- OK, in 5, 4, 3, 2.

Well some food for thought there.
What's your take on it Eric?

Well I've gotta say, as
a devoted dad myself...

Oh God, brace yourself.

I get why people are
uncomfortable with a report that

well kinda brushes fathers
to the side a bit, doesn't it?

The report is about same
sex parents of both genders.

- I realise that.
- So in some cases, families who have not one

but two fathers.

But I think you'll find... it's
predominantly lesbians, Erica.

Over a third of lesbians are
parents versus 1-in-10 gay men.

As a matter of fact,

I think you'll find that a
third of lesbians in Australia

have children as opposed
to just 1-in-10 gay men.

That's a pretty big difference, Erica.

- That's a pretty big difference.
- It's getting a bit not fun.

- No, it's good.
- OK, Sasha would probably be stepping in,

but whatever.

And ultimately what
we're talking about here

is a generation of kids
who don't have fathers.

Eric, that's a ridiculous exaggeration.

Listen, don't get me
wrong, I love gay people.

That's a good start, go on...

If I could just get half
a sentence out, Erica.

- I'd be going to Jack but... Just saying.
- I love gay people,

I love their children
and I support them.

I will go to their parties, I
will pose with their selfies...

Great, I'm sure they're
thrilled by that.

You know what, I will never say...

That kids that grow up without
a dad aren't disadvantaged.

- OK Eric, bring it down.
- Oh look I'm sorry I am, but they are,

it's a compromise and those
children are compromised.

Actually if you look at any academic
study in the scientific journals

then that's not true.

Erica, we're gonna just...

- Oh my God!
- Really?

Uh?

Come on, this... this is
not like all the other shows.

- Eric?
- Mature response, very professional.

Eric? The camera is still
on you. I need you to fill.

You need to fill.
You're still on screen.

You could just say, uh...

You know what?

Fine!

- Oh my God, oh my God, oh my God!
- What's the call?

- Um...
- Go to Jack.

No we can't go to Jack. He
doesn't have anyone to talk to.

- Where is the back up package?
- I have David Hasselhoff's obituary.

He's not dead yet. Go to a commercial.

- It's too soon.
- Upstairs is ringing.

We could be doing Summer
Accessories right now.

Lily, I need a decision.
What are we throwing to?

Throw to Hamilton. Hamilton, I
need you to pad for 2 minutes.

We'll bring the weather forward.

Well,

hello.

Good morning.

You know I often get asked,

"hey Hamilton, when'd your love
affair with meteorology begin?".

Let me take you back to 1987.

Hum... Stormy day, very
cumulus clouds around

and there was a little clap of thunder.

OK forget the pad, forget
the pad. Forecast and break.

Let's forget about that.

I'm gonna talk to Erica.

I mean I was just feeding
statistics from the report.

Yes and I needed statistics to
support my argument. Support.

Seriously mate, if it
were me I'd just apologise.

Really?

I'm not the one that stormed
out off set. Well not first.

You know what... I, I, I...

you're not really getting
the brief here mate.

Are you OK?

- Sorry, Lily.
- No no, don't apologise please.

So what's next?

Jack in the kitchen?

Yeah, we're on a break and then it
will be Jack in the kitchen unless...

Do you want an opportunity to
respond to what just happened?

- Not with Eric no.
- No no. No no no.

You tell me what you'd
be comfortable with.

I mean I have some
points I wanted to make.

Oh. I just don't want to do
a monologue down the camera.

What if it was a conversation?

- They won't like it... Upstairs.
- I'm happy to own it.

OK, who would I be speaking to?

OK, before we do the kitchen segment.

I want you to have an
on-air discussion with Erica

about what just happened.

What?

I want to give her an
opportunity to respond,

and she'd rather do
it as a conversation.

Are you sure we wouldn't be
better off just dropping it?

It's clearly very emotional.

It'll be fine. With the
two of you, it will be fine,

- I'm not a host, Lily.
- I know that.

But you are more than capable.
I will feed you the questions.

- I'm just a cooking guy.
- Jack, please.

You're all I have right now.

- OK.
- Oh, thank you, thank you, thank you.

- Ten seconds.
- OK. Sorry.

Hot Cat-oure, the Adelaide woman
who makes formal wear for your cats.

No, we're going to Jack
straight after the break.

Camera 2, close on Jack and stay there.

Hey Jack. I need you to get
on set and work to camera 2.

Upstairs has already
approved Hot Cat-oure.

They were quite firm about it.

We're going to Jack in 4, 3, 2, 1...

- Welcome back everyone.
- Well welcome back everyone.

We are coming to you 100% live,
and as you may have noticed,

things haven't gone
exactly according to plan...

Good, that's really good.

- Just...
- Just a few minutes ago,

we were in the middle of
our talking point segment.

And it got a bit heated.

A bit emotional between our two hosts.

And they both stepped off
the stage for a moment.

- And just before we go...
- Erica's travelling. She just left makeup.

- ... The things said by our host, Eric,
- 30 seconds, Jack.

or by both our hosts,

don't reflect the show or any of us
working on it and certainly not me.

And funnily enough, I'm just
here to cook a pumpkin feta salad.

She's back, she's on set.

OK, welcome Erica back on set.

So joining me now is our host, Erica.

- Firstly Erica, how are you?
- I'm fine thank you.

Uh, I'm sorry everyone at home
for my sudden departure there.

Obviously we cover a broad
range of topics here on the show.

And some of them hit
closer to home than I want.

Ask her if she wants to reflect.

Is there anything you'd like to add?

You were a bit cut off there before.

Uh...

I don't generally talk
about my private life.

But I am a proud lesbian woman.

I am in a loving long term relationship.

And I think that is the perspective
I brought to the segment earlier.

What is this now? Oprah.

I just want to say that Eric

has... has always been incredibly
accepting and generous to me

- and to my partner, to Carol.
- I have.

But as someone who is really
looking forward to having children

some of the things that he said,

- and I guess his choice of words...
- Struck a nerve.

And that's right.

But don't worry viewers,

we'll be fine.

We'll sort it out, cause we always do.

On that matter Erica, can
I interest you in a salad?

You know Jack, I could not
think of anything better.

Oh, that is really really good.

- Camera 2.
- Oh my God, over feels.

Alright guys. Well what a show.

Are you alright?

Yes. Pretty much everyone
I've ever met is messaging me.

What are they saying?

Oh... Congratulations. Why did
it take so long? We love you.

Oh.

Mum.

Hi.

We are number the
number 1, 3 and 8 trends

and seriously half of Twitter
wants to have Jack's baby.

Do you know where he is?

Here she is. Craig! Hi, I...

Did you make that call back there?

Yes. I thought it was better
to stick to the story...

That was a great save, keep it up.

Hey, um...

Obviously we're going to need a full

and thorough debrief about today.

- Absolutely.
- Great.

Also, that Pete fellow,

I don't think he's gonna work out.

Well, I can't say I'm surprised.

He did only say two of the
things I suggested in 3 hours.

If it makes you feel better,
he has a poor little taste.

But the sad thing is I was
kinda drinking the Kool-aid.

Um... Maybe got into
the red carpet around...

Shut up!

No I did, I mean you gotta
salute the bold colour choice.

And whoever said you can't wear red
on a red carpet, that's plain wrong.

Right?

Plus... Watching you, you were
kind of electric being the boss.

- That was pure panic.
- Well, it suits you.

- I just... I'll be right back.
- Yeah.

- Hi.
- Hey.

Ah, it's Nikkii, wasn't it?

You have four different
colour tones in your beard.

I've been counting.

OK...

Coming in?

I just wanted to say
well done for today.

Gotta live TV.

- Sink or swim.
- You swam.

Thanks to you.

You feel good, you're really
good. You should dream big.

Maybe... even bigger
than that cooking guy.

Look, just ah... about
everything with Simone...

I... you know I want to apologise
again for not telling you the truth.

That was, it was inexcusable.

I was angry, I was confused
about a lot of things.

I took it out on you
and I shouldn't have.

It's all been a bit of a mess, really.

But I want to be honest.

If I'm honest, I've been confused.

- By my feelings.
- Stop.

Don't.

You're dating Simone.

I am not any more actually.

Oh then really don't.

If you, if you had feelings for me

why would you go out
with my best friend?

It happened... slowly.

I'm sorry.

Ellen was thin, but,

it just wasn't really
relevant to her brand.

You know what I mean?

You know what I mean?

Yes.

I can't... I can't kiss you back.

- Hi.
- Hi.

Jack broke up with me.

I'm really sorry, Sim.

I don't deserve any pity, I'm just...

feeling sorry for myself.

I admire you... You
were friends with me.

Because in year one,

when Angela Tobaro pulled my hair,

you pushed her away.

And in year 11,

when I entered that really
bad joke-telling contest,

you laughed so hard,

that it drowned out the deafening
silence of everyone else in the room.

And when I was studying at
uni, and I had not one cent,

you paid for my tickets so that
I could see the White Stripes.

If you really loved me,

you'll get in the bath with me.

I love you, Lil.

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