All language subtitles for Telenovela s01e06 cane.eng

With winds coming
from the Gulf,

the storm is moving quickly
but in a predictable pattern.

The hurricane should reach Miami
by tomorrow night.

Oh, no!

This storm sounds pretty bad.

Should we be worried?

Roxie, we'll be fine.

Hurricanes hit Miami
all the time.

Yeah, you can always tell

how bad they're gonna be based
on their names.

Hurricane Isabel was one of
the most destructive on record.

Yeah, and this one's named
Chloe, so it should be a cute,

little storm.

I am now getting a--

Okay, don't shoot
the messenger,

but these are your costumes
for tomorrow's

deserted island scene.

And since we have to be
practically naked on camera

tomorrow, I'm banning all food
from set for the next 24 hours

starting in two minutes.

- What? No!
- Are you kidding?

Hey, hey, hey,
we don't want a repeat

of when we shot
the day after Thanksgiving.

[laughs]

[button ricochets]

I ate an entire pecan pie.

Ugh, I pe-can't even.

One minute and 45 seconds
before all the food disappears.

Dios mio, she's serious.

To the food, vamonos!

[yelps]

[upbeat music]

[chuckles]
I'm so glad I'm not an actor.

Oh, you're not gonna
get to eat either, Isaac.

What? Why do us less beautiful
have to suffer?

- You wrote it.
- [scoffs]

Here we go, five more seconds.

Five, four, three,

two, food down!

Ha ha!

See?
This is how we stay sexy.

[flamenco music]

Sync and corrections by n17t01
www.addic7ed.com

_

_

[dramatic music]

All right,
crying's not happening.

- We'll put the tears in post.
- Cut!

- [bell rings]
- Oh, great job, you guys.

We fasted for 24 hours
and we look amazing.

Now let's get out of these
clothes, our makeup off,

and eat like people
who aren't on camera.

Just for the record,
I can cry on cue.

[strained breathing]

Am I doing it?

No, but your desperation
is so sad, Roxie's crying.

[sobs]

He's trying so hard, you know?

Um-- whoa.

- Excuse me.
- Props.

- I'll take that.
- Whoa.

- Coming through.
- Crew sure wants to leave.

They're taking this hurricane
pretty seriously.

It's not the hurricane.

They always leave the second
they're done with work.

Are we that difficult
to be around?

- Nah.
- Oh.

We're amazing.

If it does turn into something
more serious, don't worry.

I'm your Set Safety Captain.

I should go reread the hurricane
chapter in my safety manual.

The info will blow you away.

See?
Safety can be fun.

- Gael is our Safety Captain?
- Yeah. What's the problem?

The guy got so nervous
during our CPR seminar,

he started hyperventilating
and needed CPR.

Which was great practice
for the rest of us.

Look, he's very qualified.

He was an Eagle Scout,
plus he went through

the most grueling
survival training of all--

greeter orientation
at Abercrombie & Fitch.

If you say so.

Trust me,
he's the best guy for the job.

Let me guess, you couldn't get
anyone else to do it.

No, training
was seven Saturdays in a row.

I ain't got time for that.

At least this is
sort of a real thing.

Last week you made him
president of lunch.

I like making Gael
feel important.

He's like a little brother
to me.

I mean, a little brother
I'd like to sleep with

if he wasn't gay, but...
[laughs]

Yeah, that felt weird
as I said it.

Look, don't tell Gael he made
Safety Captain by default.

He's very sensitive.

You know how actors are.

They freak out if you
tell them the truth.

- Your lipstick's crooked.
- What?

I told Ila-- Oh,
testing the theory, good one.

But seriously, is it crooked?

[gasps]

What?

Rodrigo, did I give you
the wrong-size trunks?

No, these fit this morning.

I have a really fast metabolism.

Since Ana banned all food
on set,

I'm already down two pounds.

- See?
- Oh, I know.

All this starving myself
is making me hungry.

When I get home, I'm gonna
eat my weight in fish sticks.

I'm still not used
to your hair like that.

Ah, well, the kids
are at their abuela's,

so Mami got a blowout.

Mami? I've been calling her
Mimi this whole time.

Ah, don't worry.
The second my hair gets wet,

the curls come right back,

but in five days
when it's still straight,

doesn't mean I didn't shower.

I just use a shower cap

and this hose thingy,
and you know what?

I don't need
to defend myself to you people.

Oh, oh, sorry.

Oh, gosh, we are stuck.

How do you like that?

I guess I would have
to take my robe off,

and then your shirt
would have to come off too.

We'd be naked together.

That'd be crazy.

Is that gonna happen?

Guess not.
See you later.

Okay.

I was just kidding
about that naked thing.

[laughs nervously]

Well, somebody's got a crush.

What? No.
Is it that obvious?

Have I been voted
sexiest bald man in Miami

three years in a row?

Yes, I have,
and yes, it's obvious.

It's stupid.

It's not like I have a chance
with her, right?

I'm a religious man,
and I believe in miracles,

but no.

[lighthearted music]

Gael, what are you wearing?

Oh, it's never too early
to be prepared,

so I've got my safety sash,

my safety badge,

- and my whistle.
- Oh.

Fun fact, one of my first jobs
was whistle model.

[blows whistle]

Oh, he's good.

What's with the cones?

In the safety classes, they'd
always say, "Put out the cones."

They didn't say
what to do with them,

so I figured I would use them
to point out the exit.

- Oh.
- Yeah, okay.

but they're kind of blocking
the exit,

- so I don't-- That's so--
- You are killing this.

- You're killing it.
- Responsible, organized,

and one of the few people
who can pull off orange.

You are headed home, right?

A good Safety Captain

never leaves until everyone
is safely out.

- Hmm.
- Hmm, that's true.

Thanks again, Ana,
for making me Safety Captain.

It really means a lot to me.

I need more cones.

Okay, yes.

Okay.

You see how happy I made him?

He is walking on sunshine.

Which is ironic
given the circumstances.

Oh, what's the harm in letting
him have a little fun?

It's not like
it's a real natural disaster.

- It's little Chloe.
- You're right.

Oh.

Wow, everyone
really left quickly.

Even Conception in reception.

Yeah, she said something
about getting home

before the big storm and a story
about her niece, which,

frankly, I did not listen to.

Why is everyone
overreacting about the storm?

Yeah, I'm sure
it's not that bad.

[heavy rainfall]

Oh, it's bad.

Oh, ah, where did he
get all these cones?

- What happened to your hair?
- That.

Hurricane Chloe is here,
and it's really bad.

The mayor has closed all roads,

and everyone must stay adentro,
okay?

Not outdoors, indoors.

Like, don't even think about
leaving, oyeron?

Seriously?
We can't leave?

Why didn't they
give us any warning?

But we're all starving.

And there's no food.

What are we gonna do?

Don't worry, everyone,
I'm the Safety Captain.

You know what?
We're gonna be fine.

I mean, how bad can it be?

[all gasp]

Be careful.
There are cones everywhere.

As your Set Safety Captain,

I think we should focus
on what the safety manual

calls "the three Bs":
blankets, batteries,

and the buddy system.

So everyone pair up
with a friend and--

Uh, what if you aren't buddies
with anyone here?

And why do we need blankets?

The power's out,
so there's no AC.

It's gonna be, like,
100 degrees in here.

Even our hot Latino blood
can't handle that.

According to the manual,
blankets are important.

Yup, it says right here,

"Blankets are important."
Confirmed.

Okay. All right, Gael,
I will take it from here.

All right, you guys,
looks like Hurricane Chloe

wasn't as harmless
as we thought.

Being totally honest,
Chloe's kind of a bitch,

kind of like a Chrissy
or a Jessica.

[scoffs]

Luckily, we have these torches
left over from that episode

where the angry mob
burned down the torch factory.

Yeah, but there's still
no food.

Yeah, and I'm wasting away.
This booty, gone.

I'm fine. I've been on a diet
for the past 40 years.

Isaac, you live here.
Don't you have any food?

I survive
on your leftover gift baskets,

but now that we're past award
season, that well has dried up.

[all speaking Spanish]

Okay, all right, all right,

let's just all go look
for food, anything.

Well, uh-uh!
No trans fats.

We're not that desperate.

Move it, man-scarf.

Okay, you need
to find food fast.

When you get hungry,
you lose your filter.

Remember when you did
that juice cleanse last year?

And you're a [bleep], okay?

Keep your [bleep] feet
off the [bleep] table

and keep my [bleep] name
out of your [bleep] mouths!

[slurps]

Well, in my defense,
I was so [bleep] hungry.

Hey, Isabela,
what are you doing?

If I'm stuck here
with you animals,

I need to reapply my makeup.

- But it's so dark in here.
- I know.

I can't see what I'm doing.

How does it look?

[softly gasps]

It's looking good.

Can I get your help
with something?

No, I hate to help people.

I just-- I need to learn
how to cry on cue.

I do like
to make people cry.

The only reason
you're on this show

is because you were married
to the star,

but one day your looks
will fade,

and all you'll have left
is your horrible music.

I'm sorry you feel that way.

So when do we start?

Ugh!

Well, this hurricane
looks like a doozy.

Guys, if I don't make it,
it's been an honor knowing you.

Oh, please,
don't be so dramatic.

It's not like
you have a splinter.

Those things can travel through
your veins and into your heart.

Let's be honest.

If things go south,
I'm the first one to go.

I have no upper-body strength,
little hand-eye coordination,

and if we're laying our cards
on the table, my will to live

is pretty much nonexistent.

Tough to argue
with any of that.

You know,
once you accept your fate,

it's actually kind of freeing.

Toothpaste?
Done with it, never liked it.

What if this hurricane
gets worse?

I don't want to die
with any regrets.

I don't have any regrets.

I finished my bucket list
when I was 23.

Turns out it's easier than you
think to get on "Family Feud."

Oh, come on.

There must be something
you've always wanted to do.

This could be your last chance.

Streaking is fun!
[laughs]

Woo-hoo-hoo!
Whoopie!

How does a cameraman
get a nickname like Fat Eddie

if he doesn't have a secret
stash of food laying around?

Ana, I think there's
a generator located--

I got 100 people
starving back there.

Eight, your math is off.

Without AC,
it's only gonna get hotter.

Well, excuse me
for being dramatic

during a natural disaster.

Ana,
I think we really need to--

Oh, my God, Gael,
are you still talking?

You're getting real yippy.

Yip, yip, yip, yip, yip, yip,
yip, yip, yip, yip, yip, yip!

Okay, okay, I think we're
all a little hot and hungry--

Look, I'm the one
who knows how to get us

through this storm.

I went to the training sessions,

and I'm the only one who knows
where they keep all the cones.

Gael, the only reason
you're Safety Captain

is because no one else wanted
to be.

Well, I'm still the one
with the badge.

[scoffs]

[gasps]

Is his shirt weak,
or is my arm very, very strong?

I need to apologize to Gael,

but until I eat, I'm not
speaking to another human being.

My filter's totally gone.

Oh, yeah?

What do you really think
about my kids?

- Don't make me answer that.
- What do you think?

- Don't make me answer that.
- What do you think?

I'm not sure
I like the middle one.

Hmm.
He grows on you.

Oh, maybe I should have
listened to Gael.

I mean, he had some good ideas.

Maybe we shouldn't be
wasting time looking for food.

Maybe I don't know everything.

I found food!

I do know everything!

both: Oh!

Did you really find food?

Yes, I did.

I saw my people starving
and suffering and giving up,

and I said, "Not on my watch."

There's something wrong
with this apple.

[squeaking]

This orange isn't that great
either.

- [dull thud]
- This is prop food.

He's right.
This is all fake.

This box says "Wheat Thicks."

No, this is real food.

Look at these grapes.

[rubbery squeaking]

- How's that grape?
- It's good, yeah.

Fine, it's prop food.

It's not like anybody else
did anything.

[electricity whirring]

Oh.

[both scream]

Well,
who turned on the lights?

I did.

While Ana led you
on a wild goose chase,

I figured out
how to reset the fuse box.

I could have
turned the lights on.

But you didn't.
I did.

All you did was ban food
from set,

and now everybody is starving.

And then you tried to trick us
into eating fake food.

Yeah, what are we supposed
to do with these N&Ns?

Ana's a false prophet!

- Yeah.
- Yeah.

- Yeah.
- Me?

You think we're screwed
'cause of me?

This is your fault.

You know why I had to ban food
on set?

Because you guys
have no self control.

And Xavi, if you learned
how to cry on cue,

we would have gotten out
before the hurricane!

And everything takes so long

because Rodrigo
over-rolls his Rs!

What?
That's r-r-r-ridiculous.

And we got a late start
because of Roxie!

- I was at a funeral.
- Well,

I'm already speaking at
this volume so I can't stop now!

Hey, Ana, you're acting crazy.

- And you.
- What?

Your car smells like a pee wee
soccer team threw up in there.

I cleaned it three times.

You said it
didn't smell anymore.

Well, it does.

Ana, we are tired
of taking your abuse.

It's time for you to leave.

All those in favor
of banishing Ana, say aye.

all: - Aye.
- Ay-yi-yi.

- Aye.
- [gasps]

All those opposed?

Nay!
Well, guess what.

There's a hurricane outside
and we're stuck here.

Where am I supposed to go?

Help!

You will be fine.

[groans]

All of this is red now,

and I know you can't tell
because my dress is red,

but trust me,
cr?eme, it's bad.

She's so beautiful.

[exhales]

Yeah.

Look, if you really want
to have no regrets,

you should ask her out.

I can't. You said so yourself,
she'll probably just say no.

Well, there's a chance
she'll say yes.

She might be lightheaded
from the hunger.

I know I'm so hungry,
I'm literally wasting away.

You're right.
Whew.

Most of Florida
will be swallowed by the storm.

Again, the red part is bad,
and the green part is good.

- Nope.
- You're being outr-r-r-rageous!

[lighthearted music]

Enjoying your banishment?

I can't believe
you didn't have my back.

Hey, I am very angry at you,

but now I'm feeling
a little lightheaded

because the air conditioner's
still not working, it's hot,

and I'm hungry,
so remind me why?

I said some stuff,
but you guys made me.

Well, Gael's in charge now,
so, yeah,

- we're doing great without you.
- Oh, really?

Xavi and Rodrigo
are already mid-slap fight.

- Hit him. Hit him, Xavi.
- [blows whistle]

Hit him again.

Again?

[blows whistle]

It's so hot.

I didn't find any food,

but why do you have
so many ACE bandages?

Put those down and focus.

I think we need to dig a little
deeper to get you to tears.

What's your most traumatic
childhood memory?

Oh, that's easy.

It was the Christmas
when I was 11.

There were no presents
under the tree that year.

Yes, great stuff.

No, instead of presents,
we got a pool.

It was the best Christmas ever.

[growls]

What?
It was.

Guess what.
It's still raining.

What? I'm not supposed
to even be here.

All right, everyone,
listen up.

[blows whistle]

In case the power goes out
again, we need batteries,

and we need them stat.
[giggles]

Did that sound cool?

all: No.

Xavi and Isabela,
I need you to--

Can't!
Too sweaty.

Why don't you cry about it?

All right,
do you know what we need?

Energies.

I found this candy bar
in the sound department.

[all gasp]

It seems like the boom guy
has a sweet tooth

and a serious porn addiction.

Let's just cut it up
and share it now.

Is it real, or is it, like,
another pack of Starblursts?

Have you been holding out
on us?

What? No. I was saving it
to share with everyone.

I'll give you 50 bucks for it.

- I'll make out with you.
- I'll make out with you.

We can all have some.

We just have to cut it
into teeny, tiny, little pieces.

- Give it.
- Give it.

You people are monsters.

- Give us the candy, Gael.
- You know what?

Now no one gets any.

[all gasping]

No!

There.
Now what are you gonna do?

[all grunt]

- Are you done with that?
- Yup.

[lighthearted music]

Woo-hoo, got another one.

Man, there are a lot of ants
around here.

[fabric ripping]

Ahh.

I'm sorry I lied to you
about Safety Captain.

That's not what I'm mad about.

- That I was mean about it?
- No.

- That I didn't listen to you?
- Not it.

- Ripped off your badge?
- Nope.

Man, I did a lot
of bad stuff today.

Ana, the thing that really
upset me was for once,

I thought you were treating me
like your equal,

not some little brother

who you would totally sleep with
if he wasn't gay.

I should stop
telling people that.

It's pretty weird.

Gael, I love you.

That's why I try to protect you.

I don't want some jerk
to come in and steamroll you

and hurt your feelings
and do exactly what I did.

My God,
I'm a horrible person.

You know
what else is horrible?

Me as Safety Captain.

I'm sorry
I didn't have more faith in you.

The truth is if I was stuck
on an actual deserted island,

the only thing
I'd want with me is you.

Really?

I would want matches,

sunscreen, maybe a water
purification system--

Yeah, I was just being sweet.

Oh, right, sorry.

[both laugh softly]

Well, you and I made up,

but everyone else
is still mad at us.

About that,
I do have an idea.

Well, whatever it is,
I'm 100% on board.

Okay, maybe like 80% on board.

We're going out
into the hurricane.

This is so you don't blow away.

The only way to stop everyone
from being mad at us

is to feed them,

so we run to the Cuban market
down the street.

Actually, that guy's been
giving me dirty looks,

and I don't love
his chip selection, so new plan.

We hit the mini mart
next to the gas station

and run back before being
swallowed up by the storm.

Okay.
Let's do this.

I have total faith in you.

Besides, if we die,

how cute would our obituary pics
look next to each other?

- So cute.
- Right?

Okay, on the count
of three, are you ready?

- Ready.
- One, two, three.

If I die, give my massage
chair to Mimi!

[both screaming]

Where did Chloe go?

I don't know.

Chloe?

Chlo-Chlo?

How did we not know
it was over?

We should really
watch the news more.

Well, we should probably
go tell everybody

- the storm is gone.
- Or...

At least I'm gonna leave
behind a beautiful corpse.

- Guys, we have food.
- Food?

Oh! I've never been
so happy to see you guys.

Actually, I've never been
happy to see you guys.

You r-r-really,
r-r-really r-r-rock.

Wow, I do roll my Rs too much.

I can't believe you two idiots
went out into that storm.

- You could have been killed.
- I know.

Gael and I barely escaped
with our lives.

[screams]

[both laugh]

So it's best everyone
just stay inside

until the storm clears.

Which could be
in the next five to ten minutes

because storms
are crazy like that.

Yeah.

These corn chips
are to die for.

Comes in smokin' bacon cheddar?

Oh, no, they didn't.

This box is harder to open
than a Christmas present.

Yeah, yeah, yeah,
less jokes, more opening.

I think I just ate
the wrapper.

Xavi, you're crying.

I can't help it.

This pudding is so good.

Wait.
Can you cry from happiness?

- Uh-huh.
- Oh, my God.

Acting is so easy.

Finally,
the hurricane is over.

I'm out of here, and I better
be getting overtime.

Oh, again?

We really need to watch
where we're walking.

Roxie?

I know once we leave, things are
gonna go back to normal,

and I don't want
to have any regrets,

so here it goes.

I like you.

You're beautiful and fun
and smarter than people think,

and I know there is zero chance

you would ever go out
with a guy like me,

so I'm gonna
let you say no right now,

and then we can move on
and go back to being friends.

Roxie, will you go out on a date
with me, blah, blah, blah?

Great, see you tomorrow.

Maybe.

Maybe?

Wait, that's not a no?

It's not a no.

She said not a no.

She said not a no!
She said not a no!

Sync and corrections by n17t01
www.addic7ed.com

Repair and Synchronization by
Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0