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1
00:00:04,538 --> 00:00:05,838
Well,
I still don't get it.
2
00:00:05,873 --> 00:00:07,172
It's not a big deal.
3
00:00:07,208 --> 00:00:10,642
It's not a big deal
to change your name?
4
00:00:10,678 --> 00:00:12,344
Well,
I just thought, like,
5
00:00:12,380 --> 00:00:14,413
now we're becoming
official detectives,
6
00:00:14,448 --> 00:00:17,383
I would want a cooler,
more American-sounding name.
7
00:00:17,418 --> 00:00:20,652
So you went
with Floyd Calhoun.
8
00:00:20,688 --> 00:00:23,322
You could have picked
something more powerful,
9
00:00:23,357 --> 00:00:26,425
like Brock Stockton
or Jack Smackbird
10
00:00:26,460 --> 00:00:29,962
-or Huge Jackman or Paul--
-Well--
11
00:00:29,997 --> 00:00:31,563
well, okay,
that last one
12
00:00:31,599 --> 00:00:34,967
is already the name
of Hugh Jackman.
13
00:00:35,002 --> 00:00:38,203
And a-anyway,
it's too late.
14
00:00:38,239 --> 00:00:39,872
-Okay? See?
-Yeah, I don't wanna see it.
15
00:00:39,907 --> 00:00:42,875
-So, let's let it go, please.
-Okay.
16
00:00:45,346 --> 00:00:47,246
Well, I'm never gonna
call you Floyd.
17
00:00:47,281 --> 00:00:48,247
Understood.
18
00:01:21,248 --> 00:01:24,716
"Take what's mine,
and you die."
19
00:01:26,253 --> 00:01:27,252
So, this note,
20
00:01:27,288 --> 00:01:28,554
you think it's a fellow comedian
21
00:01:28,589 --> 00:01:29,588
that's threatening you.
22
00:01:29,623 --> 00:01:30,422
Well, it all started
23
00:01:30,458 --> 00:01:31,690
when I got the headlining spot
24
00:01:31,725 --> 00:01:32,891
in the showcase next week.
25
00:01:32,927 --> 00:01:34,326
Some major execs are coming,
26
00:01:34,361 --> 00:01:35,828
and people are really gunning
for their big break.
27
00:01:35,863 --> 00:01:37,830
So what exactly
are you taking?
28
00:01:37,865 --> 00:01:42,234
Well, the spotlight, of course.
No, I used to be a DJ.
29
00:01:42,269 --> 00:01:43,969
So I know how the entertainment
business works.
30
00:01:44,004 --> 00:01:45,871
Well, yeah, that's what
I was thinking, too.
31
00:01:45,906 --> 00:01:48,140
I did a video that got
over a million hits
32
00:01:48,175 --> 00:01:50,442
and now people are coming
to the Hilaritorium to see me.
33
00:01:50,478 --> 00:01:52,511
So, I assume you work
with celebrities.
34
00:01:52,546 --> 00:01:54,513
Yeah,
we work with celebrities.
35
00:01:54,548 --> 00:01:58,083
I'm not a celebrity.
Nobody knows who Ally Green is.
36
00:01:58,119 --> 00:01:59,518
I'm just internet famous.
37
00:01:59,553 --> 00:02:01,520
Like, more famous than
an extreme sports fail
38
00:02:01,555 --> 00:02:03,021
but less than a cat
playing piano.
39
00:02:03,057 --> 00:02:06,191
Okay, Ms. Green,
we'll look into your case.
40
00:02:06,227 --> 00:02:08,894
Cool, thanks, but if you could
just keep a real low profile.
41
00:02:08,929 --> 00:02:10,696
I don't want people thinking
I'm causing a problem.
42
00:02:10,731 --> 00:02:14,199
Oh, don't worry about it.
We'll be very discreet.
43
00:02:14,235 --> 00:02:15,367
Very discreet.
44
00:02:19,807 --> 00:02:20,839
Hey, you.
45
00:02:21,542 --> 00:02:23,575
-Hi.
-You busy?
46
00:02:23,611 --> 00:02:25,844
Are you genetically modified
47
00:02:25,880 --> 00:02:27,012
to be the perfect boyfriend?
48
00:02:27,047 --> 00:02:30,082
Ah, actually, you know,
I'm a robot,
49
00:02:30,117 --> 00:02:33,619
and we happen to find that
slightly offensive.
50
00:02:35,890 --> 00:02:37,656
Aw. You didn't
have to do this.
51
00:02:37,691 --> 00:02:38,757
Oh, I was just
in the neighborhood.
52
00:02:38,792 --> 00:02:39,825
I thought I'd stop by
53
00:02:39,860 --> 00:02:41,560
and say hi to my favorite lady.
54
00:02:42,596 --> 00:02:44,930
-So, I was thinking...
-Lovely.
55
00:02:44,965 --> 00:02:48,267
have you heard of this new fancy
restaurant called Oliver's?
56
00:02:48,302 --> 00:02:49,801
Mm, I have.
57
00:02:49,837 --> 00:02:52,004
And from what I hear,
it is very fancy indeed.
58
00:02:52,039 --> 00:02:55,407
How would you like dining
at said fancy restaurant
59
00:02:55,442 --> 00:02:58,277
on, say, Friday?
60
00:02:58,312 --> 00:03:00,579
I think I would like that
very much.
61
00:03:02,216 --> 00:03:04,550
Bleep-blop.
Bleep-bleep-bloop-bleep-bleep.
62
00:03:04,585 --> 00:03:06,752
-Huh? I'm sorry.
-I was just calling back
63
00:03:06,787 --> 00:03:09,121
to being
the perfect robot boyfriend.
64
00:03:09,156 --> 00:03:11,557
I'm sorry.
I'll get out of your hair.
65
00:03:11,592 --> 00:03:12,558
Have a good one.
66
00:03:16,730 --> 00:03:19,164
I-- I admire them.
67
00:03:19,200 --> 00:03:22,000
-Who?
-Comedians.
68
00:03:22,036 --> 00:03:24,570
I mean, to get up
in front of that crowd,
69
00:03:24,605 --> 00:03:27,839
talk about stuff that matters
to you and try to be funny?
70
00:03:27,875 --> 00:03:28,974
It takes guts.
71
00:03:29,009 --> 00:03:30,175
Guts to go up on stage
72
00:03:30,211 --> 00:03:31,877
and complain about your day?
73
00:03:31,912 --> 00:03:34,213
And we're supposed
to pay for it? No.
74
00:03:34,248 --> 00:03:36,782
No, there's a lot more to it
than just that.
75
00:03:36,817 --> 00:03:40,452
Really, it's an art form.
Like sculpting marble.
76
00:03:40,487 --> 00:03:42,554
Maybe not sculpting marble
because that's really difficult,
77
00:03:42,590 --> 00:03:45,257
but it's more like--
it's like shaping shrubs.
78
00:03:46,894 --> 00:03:49,361
But those fancy shrubs
that look like things
79
00:03:49,396 --> 00:03:51,863
like dinosaurs
and flamingos.
80
00:03:51,899 --> 00:03:55,400
Real entertainment
is going to a shooting range
81
00:03:55,436 --> 00:03:57,569
with a six-pack
and a loaded gun.
82
00:04:05,379 --> 00:04:09,248
I-- I don't get it!
How do airplanes fly?
83
00:04:09,283 --> 00:04:11,817
- They're so heavy.
84
00:04:11,852 --> 00:04:13,452
Cars aren't heavy.
Why don't they fly?
85
00:04:13,487 --> 00:04:17,823
Huh? I suspect strings
are involved. I do. I do.
86
00:04:17,858 --> 00:04:19,992
--This guy gets it. Yeah!
87
00:04:20,027 --> 00:04:21,660
Get them with you.
Get them with--
88
00:04:21,695 --> 00:04:24,429
Whatever you're on,
pass it around, on the house.
89
00:04:24,465 --> 00:04:27,966
--One time I thought
I was dead, yeah.
90
00:04:28,002 --> 00:04:29,635
I looked in a--
in a mirror.
91
00:04:29,670 --> 00:04:32,938
I was like, "Holy crap.
I can't see my reflection."
92
00:04:34,675 --> 00:04:36,508
Turns out,
it was just a window.
93
00:04:36,543 --> 00:04:38,143
He sold it better last week.
94
00:04:38,178 --> 00:04:39,811
-That joke always sucked.
-Thanks guys, thanks.
95
00:04:39,847 --> 00:04:41,246
Totally.
This crowd's just easy.
96
00:04:41,282 --> 00:04:44,283
- All right. Thank you.
97
00:04:47,388 --> 00:04:49,421
-Hey! Nice work, Ron.
-You think?
98
00:04:49,456 --> 00:04:52,291
-Yeah!
-The-- the mirror bit finally landed, right, babe?
99
00:04:52,326 --> 00:04:53,825
Oh, man,
you're so funny.
100
00:04:53,861 --> 00:04:56,461
That bit about the airplanes?
I always thought that.
101
00:04:56,497 --> 00:04:59,264
How do they fly?
I mean, they're so heavy.
102
00:04:59,300 --> 00:05:00,999
-Yeah.
-Cars can't fly.
103
00:05:01,035 --> 00:05:03,735
-They're lighter, so.
-Thanks, man. Thank you.
104
00:05:03,771 --> 00:05:06,438
-So you guys all regulars?
-Uh, we are,
105
00:05:06,473 --> 00:05:08,307
But Ally won't be
for much longer.
106
00:05:08,342 --> 00:05:10,275
Oh, stop it.
No, I'm not going anywhere.
107
00:05:10,311 --> 00:05:13,912
Uh, no, he's not wrong.
You're our resident celebrity.
108
00:05:13,947 --> 00:05:17,482
I've been here ten years,
but you make one YouTube clip,
109
00:05:17,518 --> 00:05:19,951
and it goes viral,
and you're suddenly a star.
110
00:05:19,987 --> 00:05:22,120
I'm not a star.
111
00:05:22,156 --> 00:05:24,956
Put 'em together
for the star of our show,
112
00:05:24,992 --> 00:05:27,326
Ally Green!
113
00:05:29,396 --> 00:05:30,395
I'm gonna get a drink.
114
00:05:34,868 --> 00:05:36,635
Hey, everybody.
Thank you so much.
115
00:05:36,670 --> 00:05:38,737
-Let's hear it for Ron!
-Hi.
116
00:05:38,772 --> 00:05:41,873
Yeah, no, and I do
appreciate your applause,
117
00:05:41,909 --> 00:05:43,342
but I don't think
you would be applauding
118
00:05:43,377 --> 00:05:47,179
if you knew that I just
crop-dusted all of you just now.
119
00:05:47,214 --> 00:05:49,548
But by now you probably know
that, actually, so.
120
00:05:49,583 --> 00:05:51,883
She's not that funny.
121
00:05:51,919 --> 00:05:53,618
Who the hell are you?
122
00:05:53,654 --> 00:05:55,787
Me? Eh, nobody.
123
00:05:55,823 --> 00:05:57,289
-Comedian.
-What?
124
00:05:57,324 --> 00:05:59,491
- Yeah. We both are.
125
00:05:59,526 --> 00:06:01,460
Actually very famous
back in Sweden.
126
00:06:02,796 --> 00:06:03,862
Surprised
you haven't heard of us.
127
00:06:03,897 --> 00:06:05,731
I'm-- I'm Floyd.
This is Ingmar.
128
00:06:05,766 --> 00:06:08,233
Oh, that's wonderful,
but if you guys think
129
00:06:08,268 --> 00:06:10,302
you're getting time
on that stage, you're crazy.
130
00:06:10,337 --> 00:06:13,004
What he's trying to say
is, "Welcome."
131
00:06:13,040 --> 00:06:15,607
There's an open mic tomorrow.
You guys should go up there.
132
00:06:15,642 --> 00:06:17,509
Probably get more laughs
than him, so.
133
00:06:17,544 --> 00:06:20,312
--Excuse us for a moment.
134
00:06:20,347 --> 00:06:23,181
Do they have
Instagram filters in Heaven?
135
00:06:23,217 --> 00:06:24,683
Because I don't think
they do.
136
00:06:24,718 --> 00:06:26,351
Like, I think
it's just "hashtag dead."
137
00:06:27,755 --> 00:06:30,088
What's the matter with you?
Are you crazy?
138
00:06:30,124 --> 00:06:31,123
What?
139
00:06:31,158 --> 00:06:33,392
You just told them
we were comedians!
140
00:06:33,427 --> 00:06:35,527
Well, I had to say something.
You were dying in there.
141
00:06:35,562 --> 00:06:38,096
I'm not gonna go up there
and tell a bunch of jokes
142
00:06:38,132 --> 00:06:39,631
like some stupid clown!
143
00:06:39,666 --> 00:06:41,133
Well, calm down.
144
00:06:42,503 --> 00:06:43,502
-I'll do it.
-Yeah?
145
00:06:43,537 --> 00:06:44,636
And that's gonna help us
146
00:06:44,671 --> 00:06:46,638
to figure out who did it? Huh?
147
00:06:46,673 --> 00:06:48,306
Who did what?
148
00:06:48,342 --> 00:06:51,343
I-- he was just trying out
a new routine.
149
00:06:51,378 --> 00:06:53,044
-Like--
-Yeah. Who-- who--
150
00:06:53,080 --> 00:06:54,546
Who stole the cookies
from the cookie jar?
151
00:06:54,581 --> 00:06:56,815
I mean, seriously,
who did it?
152
00:06:56,850 --> 00:06:59,885
Just tell us
so we can stop guessing.
153
00:06:59,920 --> 00:07:02,554
I don't know what your angle is,
"famous comedians from Sweden"
154
00:07:02,589 --> 00:07:06,091
but I'll be really interested
to see you perform tomorrow,
155
00:07:06,126 --> 00:07:09,728
see if you Swedes
are as funny as you look.
156
00:07:13,500 --> 00:07:16,635
Spoiler alert!
We're even funnier than we look!
157
00:07:19,273 --> 00:07:21,440
Do you think that's our guy?
158
00:07:21,475 --> 00:07:22,841
Absa-fruitly.
159
00:07:24,611 --> 00:07:25,544
Bonsai!
160
00:07:25,579 --> 00:07:30,215
You need love, too,
like people, oh, yes.
161
00:07:30,250 --> 00:07:31,783
- I don't--
162
00:07:33,687 --> 00:07:35,220
Yeah? Who is this?
163
00:07:35,255 --> 00:07:39,524
Now, is that any way to talk
to an old friend, Sunny Bunny?
164
00:07:39,560 --> 00:07:41,359
If friends is all we were?
165
00:07:41,395 --> 00:07:42,727
What do you want?
166
00:07:42,763 --> 00:07:45,464
It turns out I may have made
a little oopsie
167
00:07:45,499 --> 00:07:47,699
with regard to your pal
Floyd's paperwork.
168
00:07:47,734 --> 00:07:50,001
-What do you mean?
-Well, it turns out,
169
00:07:50,037 --> 00:07:52,137
he may have to go back
to Switzerland
170
00:07:52,172 --> 00:07:53,972
sooner than any one of us
expected.
171
00:07:54,007 --> 00:07:56,274
What are you talking about?
I trust you!
172
00:07:56,310 --> 00:08:00,479
Now, cool down
that sexy fire, lovey.
173
00:08:00,514 --> 00:08:02,080
You and I are gonna have
a little sit-down
174
00:08:02,115 --> 00:08:03,949
and hash this out.
175
00:08:03,984 --> 00:08:05,650
-What's your game, Lou?
-No game.
176
00:08:05,686 --> 00:08:09,387
Just... come alone.
177
00:08:18,315 --> 00:08:20,882
Yes, so, uh, yeah,
I'm gonna do standup comedy.
178
00:08:20,918 --> 00:08:22,150
Yeah.
179
00:08:22,186 --> 00:08:24,252
But, um...
180
00:08:24,288 --> 00:08:25,487
you're not funny.
181
00:08:26,890 --> 00:08:29,624
What do you mean?
I'm-- I'm funny.
182
00:08:29,660 --> 00:08:32,694
He only needs to be funny enough
to keep up our cover.
183
00:08:32,729 --> 00:08:34,863
The showcase is tomorrow,
and I'm sure this Mark
184
00:08:34,898 --> 00:08:36,364
will try something tonight.
185
00:08:36,400 --> 00:08:38,567
Hey, have you ever been
at the grocery store?
186
00:08:38,602 --> 00:08:40,268
Oh, God,
what are you talking about?
187
00:08:40,304 --> 00:08:41,937
This is what I'm gonna do
onstage.
188
00:08:41,972 --> 00:08:44,306
So, you're at
the grocery store, you know,
189
00:08:44,341 --> 00:08:46,908
and, uh, when you're ready
to check out,
190
00:08:46,944 --> 00:08:48,877
you know,
when you pick a line,
191
00:08:48,912 --> 00:08:51,980
it suddenly becomes
the slowest line there.
192
00:08:52,015 --> 00:08:54,549
It's, like... what is that?
193
00:08:54,585 --> 00:08:56,218
- What is that?
-What's up, people?
194
00:08:56,253 --> 00:08:58,954
It's so funny, Floyd.
195
00:08:58,989 --> 00:09:01,256
Respectfully disagree.
196
00:09:01,291 --> 00:09:03,091
And why do you
keep calling him Floyd?
197
00:09:03,126 --> 00:09:05,760
Oh, uh, didn't I tell you?
I changed my name.
198
00:09:07,531 --> 00:09:09,097
To Floyd Calhoun.
199
00:09:09,132 --> 00:09:11,433
He wanted, like,
a cool American name.
200
00:09:12,603 --> 00:09:14,970
And you went
with Floyd Calhoun?
201
00:09:15,005 --> 00:09:19,407
Oh, it's what he wants.
We should just respect it.
202
00:09:19,443 --> 00:09:22,010
So you actually want us
to call you Floyd Calhoun?
203
00:09:23,480 --> 00:09:24,980
Yes.
204
00:09:25,015 --> 00:09:26,481
-For real?
-Yes.
205
00:09:30,354 --> 00:09:32,821
You are funny, dude.
Cheers.
206
00:09:36,059 --> 00:09:37,993
This whole thing with Floyd,
207
00:09:38,028 --> 00:09:41,997
it's really just
a little oopsie.
208
00:09:42,032 --> 00:09:45,567
I'm sure the--
209
00:09:45,602 --> 00:09:48,403
What are you doing?
That is $13 Prosecco!
210
00:09:49,539 --> 00:09:51,106
You don't make "oopsies,"
Lou.
211
00:09:52,042 --> 00:09:53,608
Fine!
212
00:09:53,644 --> 00:09:54,809
You see right through me.
213
00:09:54,845 --> 00:09:56,278
I just don't get what
214
00:09:56,313 --> 00:09:57,846
you see in that man.
215
00:09:57,881 --> 00:09:58,847
What man?
216
00:10:01,084 --> 00:10:03,151
-Floyd?
-Yes, Floyd!
217
00:10:03,186 --> 00:10:07,289
I mean, I know he's beautiful,
like some small mountain,
218
00:10:08,525 --> 00:10:11,860
Tender, like an heirloom tomato
in early August,
219
00:10:11,895 --> 00:10:16,031
and sweet, like a breeze
through schnozberry bushes.
220
00:10:16,066 --> 00:10:17,766
But you've always been
my girl!
221
00:10:20,304 --> 00:10:21,269
Marry me.
222
00:10:22,272 --> 00:10:24,072
Have my children.
223
00:10:24,107 --> 00:10:27,008
-God, you're sexy!
-I can do this all day.
224
00:10:27,044 --> 00:10:29,277
Me too.
225
00:10:35,218 --> 00:10:36,484
All right,
party people.
226
00:10:36,520 --> 00:10:39,220
We have somebody very special
coming up next,
227
00:10:39,256 --> 00:10:41,156
Floyd from Sweden.
228
00:10:41,191 --> 00:10:45,293
- I'll keep my eyes on Mark.
229
00:10:48,165 --> 00:10:52,534
Whoo!
So I am a comedian.
230
00:10:52,569 --> 00:10:54,803
-From Sweden.
-Sweden sucks!
231
00:10:54,838 --> 00:10:57,505
--Oh. Unnecessary.
232
00:10:59,209 --> 00:11:00,375
Oh! Lost my...
233
00:11:01,812 --> 00:11:03,244
trail of, uh, thought there.
234
00:11:03,280 --> 00:11:05,714
But, uh, com-- jokes!
Comedy.
235
00:11:05,749 --> 00:11:09,651
For, uh--
grocery stores are funny.
236
00:11:09,686 --> 00:11:11,619
You know why?
Becau-- because of the lines.
237
00:11:11,655 --> 00:11:14,789
There's always--
always one line--
238
00:11:14,825 --> 00:11:17,292
No, wait, no wait.
There's a coup-- no, wait.
239
00:11:18,995 --> 00:11:20,028
Oh, sorry. Messed it up.
240
00:11:20,063 --> 00:11:21,930
-Uh...
-This is not good.
241
00:11:21,965 --> 00:11:25,500
Ooh, brain, uh--
hello, brain.
242
00:11:25,535 --> 00:11:28,336
Where are you?
Uh, calling my brain.
243
00:11:28,372 --> 00:11:31,673
Eh, y-you know--
you know when you see movies
244
00:11:31,708 --> 00:11:34,309
in the future,
they always have flying cars.
245
00:11:34,344 --> 00:11:38,179
Why is that?
Don't they like wheels in the future?
246
00:11:38,215 --> 00:11:40,148
Yeah, you gotta have wheels.
247
00:11:40,183 --> 00:11:43,585
I think wheels are-- are good.
I-I think it's funny.
248
00:11:43,620 --> 00:11:47,489
Anyone else think it's funny?
Undecided.
249
00:11:47,524 --> 00:11:50,458
How-- we--
250
00:11:50,494 --> 00:11:51,993
and why is there
an "at" symbol?
251
00:11:52,028 --> 00:11:53,461
It's for email, dummy!
252
00:11:53,497 --> 00:11:54,829
--I know it's for email.
253
00:11:54,865 --> 00:11:57,098
Okay, let me explain
why this is funny.
254
00:11:58,468 --> 00:11:59,367
Uh, it's just two letters.
255
00:11:59,403 --> 00:12:00,969
We don't need to abbreviate
256
00:12:01,004 --> 00:12:02,270
them, so that's why.
257
00:12:02,305 --> 00:12:04,072
I-I think it's funny.
Anyone?
258
00:12:05,542 --> 00:12:06,508
You, too, huh?
259
00:12:07,077 --> 00:12:08,276
Me too what?
260
00:12:08,311 --> 00:12:10,278
Couldn't stand
to watch that anymore?
261
00:12:10,313 --> 00:12:12,313
Man, that guy
was really not funny.
262
00:12:14,618 --> 00:12:16,851
Hard to watch.
Kinda made me sad.
263
00:12:16,887 --> 00:12:17,852
Look out!
264
00:12:18,388 --> 00:12:19,921
Ah!
265
00:12:22,893 --> 00:12:25,160
--Mark! Are you okay?!
266
00:12:25,195 --> 00:12:28,596
No, my leg!
Aah! He finally did it!
267
00:12:28,632 --> 00:12:30,365
What do you mean?!
What do you mean?!
268
00:12:30,400 --> 00:12:31,399
My leg!
269
00:12:32,469 --> 00:12:33,601
When did you find this?
270
00:12:33,637 --> 00:12:34,669
Last week.
271
00:12:35,839 --> 00:12:37,705
Obviously,
I didn't take it seriously.
272
00:12:37,741 --> 00:12:39,674
Maybe you should have.
273
00:12:39,709 --> 00:12:41,709
I should've known
you guys weren't comedians.
274
00:12:41,745 --> 00:12:44,212
I mean, that was the worst
standup routine
275
00:12:44,247 --> 00:12:46,448
I have ever seen
in my entire life.
276
00:12:46,483 --> 00:12:48,416
Seriously. Ever.
277
00:12:48,452 --> 00:12:49,851
You know, that's hurtful.
278
00:12:49,886 --> 00:12:51,886
And now I regret
buying you this balloon.
279
00:12:51,922 --> 00:12:53,688
Quit your crying.
You saved my life, okay?
280
00:12:53,723 --> 00:12:55,857
-Yeah, we did.
-Yeah, I still can't believe
281
00:12:55,892 --> 00:12:58,359
someone would try to kill me
over some stolen jokes.
282
00:12:58,395 --> 00:13:01,229
-So you steal jokes.
-No, of course not.
283
00:13:01,264 --> 00:13:02,764
But when you work
at a comedy club,
284
00:13:02,799 --> 00:13:04,466
you're always refining
your material,
285
00:13:04,501 --> 00:13:07,368
and you hear lots of other
people's work and, you know,
286
00:13:07,404 --> 00:13:08,870
sometimes something slips in.
287
00:13:08,905 --> 00:13:11,773
I mean, everybody does it.
Even Ally.
288
00:13:11,808 --> 00:13:12,774
Ally?
289
00:13:17,881 --> 00:13:19,714
Yeah? What do you want?
290
00:13:19,749 --> 00:13:21,182
I need to apologize.
291
00:13:22,886 --> 00:13:25,153
Oh, f*ck you! Again?!
292
00:13:25,188 --> 00:13:28,223
I'm sorry, I was just
so wild with jealousy.
293
00:13:28,258 --> 00:13:30,258
You're supposed to be
my number one, Sunny Bunny,
294
00:13:30,293 --> 00:13:33,595
and here comes this beautiful
Swedish man-boy and...
295
00:13:34,731 --> 00:13:38,299
I miss us.
We make a dynamite team.
296
00:13:38,335 --> 00:13:40,635
We did, Lou.
297
00:13:40,670 --> 00:13:43,104
But you a crazy
son of a bitchy,
298
00:13:43,139 --> 00:13:47,709
and I just a total normal gal
trying to live my life.
299
00:13:47,744 --> 00:13:49,878
Okay, then.
300
00:13:49,913 --> 00:13:50,912
I'll just go.
301
00:13:57,454 --> 00:14:00,321
You treat her right, Floyd!
You treat her right!
302
00:14:03,059 --> 00:14:05,460
--Anyway...
303
00:14:05,495 --> 00:14:07,729
look, guys, this is crazy.
304
00:14:07,764 --> 00:14:09,430
I'm not stealing
people's jokes.
305
00:14:09,466 --> 00:14:11,833
Not even by accident?
Try to think.
306
00:14:11,868 --> 00:14:13,735
-You might be next.
-Well, I don't know.
307
00:14:13,770 --> 00:14:16,137
I mean, I guess there's a way
that some people's stuff
308
00:14:16,172 --> 00:14:17,839
can seep into
your subconscious.
309
00:14:17,874 --> 00:14:19,874
Like Ron's bit about
how Spiderman's
310
00:14:19,910 --> 00:14:22,076
only real power is that
jizz comes out of his hands?
311
00:14:22,112 --> 00:14:23,711
Or Mark's thing about
the snowflakes and how
312
00:14:23,747 --> 00:14:26,514
sometimes they do look alike
and people need to get over it?
313
00:14:26,550 --> 00:14:28,449
But I made that stuff my own.
314
00:14:28,485 --> 00:14:30,318
That's fine by us,
but it does mean
315
00:14:30,353 --> 00:14:32,887
that any comedian there
might feel robbed.
316
00:14:32,923 --> 00:14:36,224
-So we have to draw them out.
-What do you mean?
317
00:14:37,460 --> 00:14:38,726
Mark's in the hospital,
318
00:14:38,762 --> 00:14:40,562
so that means there's
an open slot tonight.
319
00:14:40,597 --> 00:14:42,664
So I'll get on stage,
and I'll steal jokes
320
00:14:42,699 --> 00:14:44,832
from everybody,
and that clown,
321
00:14:44,868 --> 00:14:46,501
he'll be so mad,
he'll come after me.
322
00:14:46,536 --> 00:14:48,369
That would be a great idea
if you weren't
323
00:14:48,405 --> 00:14:49,637
-such a sh*tty comedian.
-Hey--
324
00:14:49,673 --> 00:14:52,106
You bombed so hard last night,
there's no way
325
00:14:52,142 --> 00:14:53,474
they're gonna let you
on that showcase.
326
00:14:58,281 --> 00:14:59,247
What?
327
00:15:01,184 --> 00:15:02,850
-Nope.
-It's for the case, Ingmar.
328
00:15:02,886 --> 00:15:04,786
-No.
-Why--
329
00:15:06,056 --> 00:15:08,590
Wait. Are you afraid?
330
00:15:08,625 --> 00:15:11,192
I'm not afraid of anything.
331
00:15:11,227 --> 00:15:13,328
Public speaking is
the number-one fear in America.
332
00:15:13,363 --> 00:15:15,263
Can you shut it?
Both of you?
333
00:15:15,298 --> 00:15:18,032
If you're not gonna do it,
then I'm gonna cancel the show.
334
00:15:18,068 --> 00:15:20,268
I don't wanna be
the next person in the hospital.
335
00:15:21,905 --> 00:15:26,274
If, uh... you had, uh...
336
00:15:26,309 --> 00:15:27,809
If-- if the world...
337
00:15:27,844 --> 00:15:30,778
My dad is doing
standup comedy?
338
00:15:31,781 --> 00:15:33,448
It's the only shot we have.
339
00:15:33,483 --> 00:15:36,184
If the world were
to go under today--
340
00:15:36,219 --> 00:15:38,052
I have to see that.
I have to come.
341
00:15:38,088 --> 00:15:39,687
-That's it. I'm coming.
-Oh, I wanna come.
342
00:15:39,723 --> 00:15:43,424
No. No! No, this is serious.
There's a killer on the loose.
343
00:15:43,460 --> 00:15:45,560
Well, it's gonna help your cover
if you show up with friends
344
00:15:45,595 --> 00:15:48,630
than being, like,
you know, a creepy loner guy.
345
00:15:50,266 --> 00:15:52,700
Oh, Brad.
Change of plans.
346
00:15:52,736 --> 00:15:55,470
My dad is doing a set
at the Hilaritorium.
347
00:15:55,505 --> 00:15:57,905
I know!
See you tonight.
348
00:16:01,845 --> 00:16:04,379
Oh, this is a bad idea.
349
00:16:04,414 --> 00:16:07,548
He's so beautiful
in his own way, you know?
350
00:16:10,420 --> 00:16:13,121
Imagine if men had periods.
God.
351
00:16:13,156 --> 00:16:15,657
If men were leaking out of
their tiny, little pecker holes
352
00:16:15,692 --> 00:16:18,226
once a month, we would
never hear the end of it!
353
00:16:18,261 --> 00:16:21,095
"Oh, babe!
Let me just watch the game.
354
00:16:21,131 --> 00:16:22,563
I'm on my f--kin' period."
355
00:16:25,435 --> 00:16:27,969
So, Axel, Sarah says
you're going by Floyd now.
356
00:16:28,004 --> 00:16:29,203
What's that about?
357
00:16:29,239 --> 00:16:33,441
Yeah, well,
I just wanted a cool name.
358
00:16:33,476 --> 00:16:36,077
I love that.
Reinvent yourself, bro.
359
00:16:36,112 --> 00:16:38,279
-Bring it here.
-Yeah, let's bring it here.
360
00:16:38,314 --> 00:16:42,950
- So watch the f--k out.
361
00:16:42,986 --> 00:16:44,018
Thanks, guys.
362
00:16:47,757 --> 00:16:50,692
And now, a last-minute
addition to the bill.
363
00:16:50,727 --> 00:16:53,928
-I can't do this.
-The most in all of Sweden,
364
00:16:53,963 --> 00:16:55,963
which is a thing, I guess.
365
00:16:55,999 --> 00:16:58,633
Ladies and gentlemen,
Ingmar!
366
00:17:02,539 --> 00:17:04,205
You go get 'em, Dad!
367
00:17:12,816 --> 00:17:16,751
I'm sorry, but...
368
00:17:16,786 --> 00:17:19,987
well, I just...
crop-dusted all of you
369
00:17:20,023 --> 00:17:22,390
- on my way up here.
370
00:17:22,425 --> 00:17:23,591
He stole your joke.
371
00:17:23,626 --> 00:17:26,427
I don't even understand
that joke.
372
00:17:28,231 --> 00:17:33,000
This one time,
I thought I was dead.
373
00:17:34,571 --> 00:17:39,107
Yeah, I couldn't see
my reflection...
374
00:17:39,142 --> 00:17:40,875
in the mirror.
375
00:17:40,910 --> 00:17:44,979
Turns out,
it was just...
376
00:17:45,014 --> 00:17:46,514
- a window.
377
00:17:46,549 --> 00:17:48,483
Holy crap, your dad's funny.
378
00:17:48,518 --> 00:17:50,585
Well, not that funny.
379
00:17:50,620 --> 00:17:54,355
Imagine
that guys got periods.
380
00:17:54,390 --> 00:17:58,092
Yeah, that they were leaking out
from their little pecker hole
381
00:17:58,128 --> 00:18:00,428
once a month?
382
00:18:00,463 --> 00:18:02,997
We would not hear
the end of it, would we?
383
00:18:03,032 --> 00:18:07,235
No. "Oh, honey!
Can I just watch the game?
384
00:18:07,270 --> 00:18:10,271
I'm on my f--king perio-o-d!"
385
00:18:13,476 --> 00:18:14,942
Why is it...
386
00:18:18,515 --> 00:18:19,981
Jessica! Stop.
387
00:18:22,218 --> 00:18:23,785
It's you.
388
00:18:23,820 --> 00:18:25,119
What the f--k
are you talking about?
389
00:18:25,155 --> 00:18:26,954
You're threatening
the other comics.
390
00:18:26,990 --> 00:18:30,391
What?
How could you say that?
391
00:18:30,426 --> 00:18:31,759
I would never do that!
392
00:18:31,795 --> 00:18:33,294
Don't you think
it looks weird?
393
00:18:33,329 --> 00:18:35,129
You left in the middle
of the set looking angry?
394
00:18:35,165 --> 00:18:37,064
Does this look angry?
395
00:18:37,100 --> 00:18:40,101
No, I...
may have misread that.
396
00:18:40,136 --> 00:18:42,603
He just gets up there,
and he makes it look so easy!
397
00:18:42,639 --> 00:18:43,771
Who, Ingmar?
398
00:18:43,807 --> 00:18:46,541
He's such a natural,
and I'm just a hack!
399
00:18:48,344 --> 00:18:49,677
If it isn't you,
who is it?
400
00:18:51,347 --> 00:18:53,848
They're so heavy.
401
00:18:53,883 --> 00:18:55,016
That's all, folks.
402
00:18:58,188 --> 00:19:01,889
I don't f--king know!
God...
403
00:19:03,860 --> 00:19:06,194
Thank you, everybody!
Thank you!
404
00:19:09,399 --> 00:19:11,199
Oy, geez!
405
00:19:11,234 --> 00:19:12,934
Never again.
406
00:19:21,010 --> 00:19:22,510
Ingmar!
407
00:19:29,752 --> 00:19:34,288
Ron?
Seriously, not cool!
408
00:19:34,324 --> 00:19:36,824
I've worked on my act
for years!
409
00:19:36,860 --> 00:19:39,994
I've constructed complex,
intricate jokes!
410
00:19:40,029 --> 00:19:43,798
And you rip 'em off?!
411
00:19:43,833 --> 00:19:45,566
This is pathetic.
412
00:19:53,576 --> 00:19:55,443
Sorry your boyfriend
tried to kill you.
413
00:19:55,478 --> 00:19:57,545
Yeah, that part sucks.
414
00:19:57,580 --> 00:20:00,114
But I guess I'll get
a good story out of it.
415
00:20:00,149 --> 00:20:01,015
Yeah.
416
00:20:02,852 --> 00:20:05,987
By the way,
I just crop-dusted you.
417
00:20:07,924 --> 00:20:09,557
I still don't get that joke.
418
00:20:09,592 --> 00:20:10,992
No idea what that means.
419
00:20:13,630 --> 00:20:15,196
Listen, um...
420
00:20:15,231 --> 00:20:17,832
you saved my life....
421
00:20:18,801 --> 00:20:19,767
once again.
422
00:20:22,171 --> 00:20:23,804
This one's to Floyd.
423
00:20:23,854 --> 00:20:28,404
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