All language subtitles for Swedish Dicks s01e07.eng

af Afrikaans
sq Albanian
am Amharic
ar Arabic
hy Armenian
az Azerbaijani
eu Basque
be Belarusian
bn Bengali
bs Bosnian
bg Bulgarian
ca Catalan
ceb Cebuano
ny Chichewa
zh-CN Chinese (Simplified)
zh-TW Chinese (Traditional)
co Corsican
hr Croatian
cs Czech
da Danish
nl Dutch Download
en English Download
eo Esperanto
et Estonian
tl Filipino
fi Finnish
fr French
fy Frisian
gl Galician
ka Georgian
de German
el Greek Download
gu Gujarati
ht Haitian Creole
ha Hausa
haw Hawaiian
iw Hebrew
hi Hindi
hmn Hmong
hu Hungarian
is Icelandic
ig Igbo
id Indonesian
ga Irish
it Italian
ja Japanese
jw Javanese
kn Kannada
kk Kazakh
km Khmer
ko Korean
ku Kurdish (Kurmanji)
ky Kyrgyz
lo Lao
la Latin
lv Latvian
lt Lithuanian
lb Luxembourgish
mk Macedonian
mg Malagasy
ms Malay
ml Malayalam
mt Maltese
mi Maori
mr Marathi
mn Mongolian
my Myanmar (Burmese)
ne Nepali
no Norwegian
ps Pashto
fa Persian
pl Polish
pt Portuguese
pa Punjabi
ro Romanian Download
ru Russian
sm Samoan
gd Scots Gaelic
sr Serbian
st Sesotho
sn Shona
sd Sindhi
si Sinhala
sk Slovak
sl Slovenian
so Somali
es Spanish
su Sundanese
sw Swahili
sv Swedish
tg Tajik
ta Tamil
te Telugu
th Thai
tr Turkish
uk Ukrainian
ur Urdu
uz Uzbek
vi Vietnamese
cy Welsh
xh Xhosa
yi Yiddish
yo Yoruba
zu Zulu
or Odia (Oriya)
rw Kinyarwanda
tk Turkmen
tt Tatar
ug Uyghur
Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:07,586 --> 00:00:09,047 [INGMAR] Hollywood Hills. 2 00:00:09,147 --> 00:00:12,851 It wasn't just the home of the rich and famous. 3 00:00:12,951 --> 00:00:15,813 - It was the home of coyotes. - [HOWLING] 4 00:00:15,913 --> 00:00:18,135 - And rattlesnakes. - [HISSING] 5 00:00:18,235 --> 00:00:24,061 And the Devil himself, Dimitri Nobakov... 6 00:00:24,161 --> 00:00:28,685 the man I believed to be responsible for killing Tex. 7 00:00:28,840 --> 00:00:32,465 And I had the son of a bitch in the my cross hair. 8 00:00:33,379 --> 00:00:34,880 [INDISTINCT CHATTER] 9 00:00:35,215 --> 00:00:39,059 All I had to do was pull the trigger. 10 00:00:40,912 --> 00:00:44,115 [INDISTINCT CHATTER] 11 00:00:46,271 --> 00:00:48,533 But I couldn't do it. 12 00:00:48,811 --> 00:00:51,274 Not until I knew for sure. 13 00:00:52,582 --> 00:00:53,643 Shit! 14 00:00:53,689 --> 00:00:55,431 It was at that point I knew 15 00:00:56,218 --> 00:00:59,882 if I wanted to hear Dimitri confess to killing Tex, 16 00:00:59,982 --> 00:01:03,245 I would have to come up with a clever plan. 17 00:01:03,649 --> 00:01:09,748 [THEME MUSIC] 18 00:01:27,477 --> 00:01:31,556 Swedish Dicks 1x06 19 00:01:31,743 --> 00:01:35,095 - Synced & Corrected by Dragoniod - www.addic7ed.com 20 00:01:49,743 --> 00:01:51,564 This... 21 00:01:51,625 --> 00:01:53,367 is Dimitri. 22 00:01:53,845 --> 00:01:55,026 And this is... 23 00:01:55,126 --> 00:01:57,028 You. 24 00:01:57,128 --> 00:01:58,765 Yeah. This is me. 25 00:01:58,871 --> 00:02:01,974 And I need to get near Dimitri, 26 00:02:02,090 --> 00:02:06,854 because I want to hear him confess that he killed Tex. 27 00:02:07,209 --> 00:02:09,111 Okay? 28 00:02:09,234 --> 00:02:10,975 At which point, 29 00:02:11,169 --> 00:02:16,614 I'm gonna make sure that he's brought to justice! 30 00:02:17,386 --> 00:02:20,529 Yeah! Show him what you got! 31 00:02:20,622 --> 00:02:22,402 I'm just emotional. 32 00:02:22,546 --> 00:02:24,119 Oh, no need to apologize. 33 00:02:24,525 --> 00:02:27,465 Just, how are you going to get near Dimitri? 34 00:02:27,622 --> 00:02:29,564 By doing business with him. See here? 35 00:02:29,836 --> 00:02:34,220 Dimitri has a fleet of stolen luxury cars, 36 00:02:34,370 --> 00:02:36,632 so I'm going to pretend I wanna buy 'em, 37 00:02:36,732 --> 00:02:40,836 but in order to do that, I need money... 38 00:02:40,936 --> 00:02:43,118 a lot of money. 39 00:02:45,938 --> 00:02:49,621 [INGMAR] We need to catch both of them to get the full reward. 40 00:02:51,263 --> 00:02:52,273 [SIGHS] Coffee? 41 00:02:52,308 --> 00:02:54,023 Yeah, why not? 42 00:02:54,156 --> 00:02:56,458 [MUFFLED GRUNTS] 43 00:02:57,949 --> 00:02:59,697 So I was thinking, 44 00:02:59,773 --> 00:03:01,915 if we do catch the second bounty today, 45 00:03:01,960 --> 00:03:05,603 maybe we could go out for a drink. 46 00:03:05,885 --> 00:03:07,387 You mean you and me? 47 00:03:07,542 --> 00:03:09,563 Yeah, like co-workers. 48 00:03:09,850 --> 00:03:11,072 Not like friends? 49 00:03:11,172 --> 00:03:12,710 Well, as friends would be nice. 50 00:03:12,748 --> 00:03:14,669 I mean, I haven't actually made any friends here yet. 51 00:03:15,335 --> 00:03:16,637 Well, I have an idea. 52 00:03:16,737 --> 00:03:19,224 Why don't you go out tonight, without me, 53 00:03:19,311 --> 00:03:21,213 and see if you can find yourself a friend? 54 00:03:21,430 --> 00:03:23,431 Be good for you. 55 00:03:23,922 --> 00:03:27,225 Hey, hey, hey, hey, second bounty behind us... 56 00:03:28,107 --> 00:03:29,652 on bicycle. 57 00:03:29,777 --> 00:03:32,880 Wait, wait, wait! Hold it, hold it! 58 00:03:33,371 --> 00:03:35,270 Hold it. 59 00:03:35,364 --> 00:03:36,945 Now! 60 00:03:37,029 --> 00:03:38,811 [GROANS] 61 00:03:39,013 --> 00:03:41,235 [INGMAR] Yes, yes! Ha! Ha! 62 00:03:41,311 --> 00:03:43,313 My leg! My leg! 63 00:03:43,360 --> 00:03:45,362 Yeah, that's him. 64 00:03:46,912 --> 00:03:47,853 Here's your half. 65 00:03:47,899 --> 00:03:48,800 Oh. 66 00:03:48,843 --> 00:03:50,025 Good job. 67 00:03:52,220 --> 00:03:53,401 - What? - What? 68 00:03:53,501 --> 00:03:56,684 I'm sorry, Axel, but you can't come! 69 00:03:56,784 --> 00:04:00,688 Why don't you go to a bar, throw some of that money around? 70 00:04:00,788 --> 00:04:02,778 It's an excellent way to make new friends. 71 00:04:02,843 --> 00:04:04,273 Are you sure you don't want to come? 72 00:04:04,379 --> 00:04:05,560 Yeah, I can't. 73 00:04:05,809 --> 00:04:08,972 I'm going to invest these in the stock market. 74 00:04:16,642 --> 00:04:18,970 ? TDC, let's get it pimpin' ? 75 00:04:19,146 --> 00:04:23,009 [INGMAR] Fifteen grand. Thank you. Here, thank you. 76 00:04:23,094 --> 00:04:24,326 [INDISTINCT CHATTER] 77 00:04:24,382 --> 00:04:30,248 Okay! [CHUCKLES] Let's play some goddamn poker, all right? 78 00:04:30,560 --> 00:04:32,341 While I was trying to get the money 79 00:04:32,370 --> 00:04:34,272 that could get me closer to Dimitri, 80 00:04:34,630 --> 00:04:36,652 Axel was in another part of town 81 00:04:37,049 --> 00:04:39,257 trying to get closer to... 82 00:04:39,339 --> 00:04:40,680 well, pretty much anyone. 83 00:04:40,905 --> 00:04:41,886 Hello. 84 00:04:42,166 --> 00:04:42,668 Hey. 85 00:04:42,713 --> 00:04:44,054 Hey. 86 00:04:44,287 --> 00:04:46,749 Yeah, I'm quite new to town. 87 00:04:46,842 --> 00:04:48,452 Don't really have any friends. 88 00:04:48,529 --> 00:04:51,272 Aw. Do you wanna suck my cock? 89 00:04:51,364 --> 00:04:53,546 No. No, thank you. 90 00:04:53,623 --> 00:04:58,793 I'm looking more for a platonic, non-s... sexual relationship. 91 00:04:58,868 --> 00:05:01,150 I think, yeah. 92 00:05:02,277 --> 00:05:03,660 [SARAH] Axel! 93 00:05:03,761 --> 00:05:05,983 Hey, Sarah! What are you doing here? 94 00:05:06,029 --> 00:05:07,957 Well, my dad's not answering my phone 95 00:05:08,027 --> 00:05:09,348 calls, so I figured he might be here. 96 00:05:09,435 --> 00:05:11,057 No, it's just me. 97 00:05:11,343 --> 00:05:13,565 Okay, well, I'll tell you and then you can tell him. 98 00:05:13,665 --> 00:05:15,406 You guys are being sued. 99 00:05:15,506 --> 00:05:16,572 By who? 100 00:05:16,728 --> 00:05:19,620 A porn producer who has a largely successful line of films 101 00:05:19,737 --> 00:05:21,532 called The Swedish Dicks, 102 00:05:21,632 --> 00:05:24,094 and now he's suing you into financial oblivion 103 00:05:24,194 --> 00:05:25,333 for the copyright infringement. 104 00:05:25,352 --> 00:05:27,254 Hey! 105 00:05:28,198 --> 00:05:32,922 I make up for not killing dog by stopping lawsuit. 106 00:05:33,698 --> 00:05:34,877 Okay, I'm sorry, Sun, 107 00:05:34,938 --> 00:05:36,579 but exactly how are you going to stop the lawsuit? 108 00:05:36,660 --> 00:05:41,044 I put curse on porn man, make his life living hell. 109 00:05:41,175 --> 00:05:43,177 Consider it done. 110 00:05:44,869 --> 00:05:46,771 - Well, I'll tell your dad. - Great. 111 00:05:47,035 --> 00:05:51,959 The... but... but in the meantime, can I, uh, buy you a drink? 112 00:05:52,707 --> 00:05:56,770 Wait, you know I don't find you physically attractive, right? 113 00:05:57,385 --> 00:06:00,604 No, I didn't, but I do now. 114 00:06:00,677 --> 00:06:02,619 Well, great. So as long as we're good on that, 115 00:06:02,648 --> 00:06:05,010 feel free to buy me all the drinks you want. 116 00:06:06,543 --> 00:06:09,847 All in all, it wasn't a bad night of gambling. 117 00:06:09,900 --> 00:06:12,802 But unfortunately, it wasn't enough money 118 00:06:13,129 --> 00:06:16,152 to get in business with Dimitri. 119 00:06:16,228 --> 00:06:19,091 When I give you money, you pay me back. That's how that works. 120 00:06:19,144 --> 00:06:19,698 Fuck you. 121 00:06:19,739 --> 00:06:20,760 - Fuck me? - Yeah. 122 00:06:20,813 --> 00:06:21,713 Fuck you. 123 00:06:21,828 --> 00:06:23,090 Nah, nah, yeah, fuck you. 124 00:06:23,143 --> 00:06:24,592 Come on, man, pull the trigger. 125 00:06:24,646 --> 00:06:26,687 [LAUGHS] Don't think just 'cause we're best friends that I won't do it! 126 00:06:26,705 --> 00:06:28,928 - Pull it! - Hey, guy... guy... guy... guys. 127 00:06:29,145 --> 00:06:33,138 You mind taking your heated discussion the fuck away from my car? 128 00:06:33,199 --> 00:06:36,147 I'm not goin' anywhere until he gives me the money he owes me! 129 00:06:36,193 --> 00:06:38,855 - You said that I could have it! - I didn't say you could have it! 130 00:06:38,900 --> 00:06:40,089 I said you could borrow it. 131 00:06:40,166 --> 00:06:41,707 Okay, he owes you. How much? 132 00:06:41,917 --> 00:06:43,179 Fifty bucks. 133 00:06:43,318 --> 00:06:45,680 Okay. Here you go. 134 00:06:47,517 --> 00:06:49,619 [SCOFFS] Keepin' that. 135 00:06:49,688 --> 00:06:52,297 Mister, we been in and out of foster homes and prisons our whole life. 136 00:06:52,379 --> 00:06:54,060 Ain't nobody ever give a rat's ass about us. 137 00:06:54,155 --> 00:06:56,017 Yeah. What's your angle, mister? 138 00:06:56,055 --> 00:07:00,044 No angle. I'm just trying to get you the hell away from my car. 139 00:07:00,414 --> 00:07:04,558 And I don't like to see people shooting each other over fifty bucks. 140 00:07:04,658 --> 00:07:05,559 That's all. 141 00:07:05,659 --> 00:07:07,361 So play nice, kids. 142 00:07:07,461 --> 00:07:11,204 All right, let's get outta here. I just got fifty bucks. 143 00:07:11,304 --> 00:07:13,119 Mister, do yourself a favor and stay outta there tomorrow night. 144 00:07:13,182 --> 00:07:14,112 Why? 145 00:07:14,195 --> 00:07:16,737 All you need to know is you did us a favor, 146 00:07:16,814 --> 00:07:18,836 and now we're doin' you one. [LAUGHS] 147 00:07:25,065 --> 00:07:26,926 And... 148 00:07:27,400 --> 00:07:28,541 action! 149 00:07:28,649 --> 00:07:30,891 [PORN MUSIC PLAYS] 150 00:07:36,756 --> 00:07:37,817 Excuse me. 151 00:07:37,902 --> 00:07:38,388 Cut! 152 00:07:38,458 --> 00:07:40,708 Are you porn maker who makes porn 153 00:07:40,750 --> 00:07:42,651 and intend to sue Swedish Dicks? 154 00:07:42,704 --> 00:07:44,180 That would be me, sweetheart. 155 00:07:44,256 --> 00:07:46,518 I think you should rethink what you're thinking. 156 00:07:46,883 --> 00:07:48,305 Stop lawsuit. 157 00:07:48,366 --> 00:07:50,428 Now give me one good reason why I should do that. 158 00:07:50,481 --> 00:07:54,204 If you don't, I put ancient North Korean curse on you. 159 00:07:54,645 --> 00:07:56,867 [LAUGHS] 160 00:07:56,951 --> 00:07:59,253 Curse? Please, this is the 21st century. 161 00:07:59,361 --> 00:08:01,863 Now get outta here before I call the cops. 162 00:08:01,901 --> 00:08:03,363 You leave me no choice. 163 00:08:03,485 --> 00:08:04,013 [BELL TOLLS] 164 00:08:04,041 --> 00:08:07,063 May your milk cows go dry. 165 00:08:07,133 --> 00:08:09,756 May your horses go lame. 166 00:08:09,832 --> 00:08:11,834 [BELL TOLLS] 167 00:08:12,876 --> 00:08:13,897 [SCOFFS] That's it? 168 00:08:14,013 --> 00:08:14,734 That's your curse? 169 00:08:14,834 --> 00:08:16,736 Now I'm gonna put a curse on you, all right? 170 00:08:16,836 --> 00:08:18,037 You tell those Swedish Dicks 171 00:08:18,117 --> 00:08:20,219 you just cost 'em an even bigger lawsuit! 172 00:08:20,319 --> 00:08:22,181 How the hell did she get in here? 173 00:08:22,281 --> 00:08:23,302 Jesus. 174 00:08:23,402 --> 00:08:24,823 All right, everybody. 175 00:08:24,923 --> 00:08:26,264 [SLURPS] 176 00:08:26,364 --> 00:08:28,106 Back to one. 177 00:08:28,206 --> 00:08:30,268 [INGMAR] After checking out the two clowns 178 00:08:30,375 --> 00:08:32,037 outside the poker game, 179 00:08:32,130 --> 00:08:34,632 I was pretty sure what they were up to, 180 00:08:34,732 --> 00:08:36,266 and it was all good news... 181 00:08:36,477 --> 00:08:38,956 until Axel walked into the room. 182 00:08:39,097 --> 00:08:41,938 - What are you watching? -"Dumb and Dumber". 183 00:08:42,034 --> 00:08:44,647 I love that movie, especially like that in the morning. 184 00:08:44,761 --> 00:08:45,357 Mm-hmm. 185 00:08:45,397 --> 00:08:48,226 How did you go last night? Did you find a new friend? 186 00:08:49,339 --> 00:08:53,609 Yes, or ... Yes, technically, it's a new friend... 187 00:08:53,719 --> 00:08:56,251 but I have known this person for quite some time. 188 00:08:57,776 --> 00:09:00,940 - anyone I know? - What? 189 00:09:01,068 --> 00:09:04,347 - Anyone I know? - I heard that. And then I said "what". 190 00:09:04,427 --> 00:09:05,666 [SPEAKS GIBBERISH SWEDISH] 191 00:09:05,748 --> 00:09:06,809 - Oh. - Whatever. 192 00:09:06,893 --> 00:09:08,437 Sarah, what are you doing here? 193 00:09:08,466 --> 00:09:10,788 Just came to see how you guys want to handle this whole lawsuit thing. 194 00:09:11,040 --> 00:09:13,903 This whole lawsuit thing? 195 00:09:14,042 --> 00:09:15,599 Yeah, didn't Axel tell you? 196 00:09:15,683 --> 00:09:16,704 No. 197 00:09:17,209 --> 00:09:18,308 Axel? No, no. 198 00:09:18,340 --> 00:09:20,952 I told him to tell you last night when we were hanging out. 199 00:09:21,173 --> 00:09:22,194 Oh. [CHUCKLES] 200 00:09:22,294 --> 00:09:24,275 What do you mean, "we were hanging out"? 201 00:09:24,375 --> 00:09:28,779 This is the new friend I was kind of telling you about. 202 00:09:28,916 --> 00:09:30,364 - Hey, Sarah? - Hmm? 203 00:09:30,474 --> 00:09:32,006 I want you to unfriend him, 204 00:09:32,042 --> 00:09:33,943 and I want you to unfriend him now. 205 00:09:34,504 --> 00:09:36,931 [SCOFFS] You can't tell me who I can and can't be friends with. 206 00:09:37,000 --> 00:09:38,221 Hey, listen, t... t... t... 207 00:09:38,454 --> 00:09:39,675 You're right. 208 00:09:39,806 --> 00:09:41,446 I want you to unfriend her, 209 00:09:41,511 --> 00:09:43,027 and I want you to unfriend her now. 210 00:09:43,177 --> 00:09:44,879 It's not like you're thinking, all right? 211 00:09:44,949 --> 00:09:47,045 Sarah finds me physically unattractive, right? 212 00:09:47,142 --> 00:09:48,403 - Yes. - Yeah. 213 00:09:48,557 --> 00:09:51,020 Yeah? What about you? 214 00:09:51,089 --> 00:09:54,772 Do you find her physically unattractive? 215 00:09:57,828 --> 00:09:59,570 Hello? Do you? 216 00:09:59,655 --> 00:10:01,877 Of... of course I find her attractive. 217 00:10:01,930 --> 00:10:03,556 - Look at her. She's hot. - I know. 218 00:10:03,619 --> 00:10:05,741 Right? But, uh, that doesn't mean we can't just be friends. 219 00:10:06,392 --> 00:10:09,079 [SCOFFS] I can't even begin to count how many times 220 00:10:09,298 --> 00:10:14,082 that I pretended to be a woman's friend just so I could bed her. 221 00:10:14,182 --> 00:10:17,405 "Bed her"? And when were you doing this, in the Middle Ages? 222 00:10:17,505 --> 00:10:19,264 A man and a woman can't be friends. 223 00:10:19,320 --> 00:10:20,381 Am I right, Sun? 224 00:10:20,887 --> 00:10:23,510 Why you think I avoid friendship with you? 225 00:10:23,641 --> 00:10:25,823 I know what happen we go down that road. 226 00:10:26,032 --> 00:10:28,446 Okay, can we get back to things that actually matter? 227 00:10:28,543 --> 00:10:30,849 For example, you are being sued by a porn producer 228 00:10:30,902 --> 00:10:33,084 who claims he had the name "Swedish Dicks" first. 229 00:10:33,168 --> 00:10:33,633 What? 230 00:10:33,696 --> 00:10:35,197 Don't worry! I put curse on him... 231 00:10:35,672 --> 00:10:36,854 mess him up big time. 232 00:10:36,946 --> 00:10:38,527 What? 233 00:10:39,002 --> 00:10:42,127 Yeah, there's nothing that he can sue me for, 234 00:10:42,358 --> 00:10:44,764 because I registered the name long time ago. 235 00:10:44,856 --> 00:10:47,424 No, you registered the name "Swedish Dick". "Dick"! 236 00:10:47,523 --> 00:10:49,927 - Yeah! - Not "Swedish Dicks". 237 00:10:50,027 --> 00:10:50,928 Mm, my bad. 238 00:10:51,481 --> 00:10:53,263 Hey, Sun! 239 00:10:53,371 --> 00:10:55,520 That curse, will it work? 240 00:10:55,587 --> 00:10:58,610 Oh, yeah, baby. It work big time. 241 00:10:58,826 --> 00:11:02,249 Okay, Sarah. The name stays. 242 00:11:02,349 --> 00:11:04,959 - [CELL PHONE ALARM BEEPS] - Ah, shit! I gotta go. Ugh. 243 00:11:05,096 --> 00:11:07,280 Oh, hey, um, we're still on for tonight, right? 244 00:11:07,324 --> 00:11:08,346 - Yeah! - Okay, good. Okay. 245 00:11:08,519 --> 00:11:09,743 Bye. 246 00:11:16,486 --> 00:11:19,605 I'll help her with some DJ stuff. She's going to have a party. 247 00:11:20,448 --> 00:11:21,296 Uh-huh. 248 00:11:21,499 --> 00:11:27,728 - I help her like a friend. - I'm starting to hate that word. 249 00:11:29,199 --> 00:11:31,822 [INGMAR] At this point, I hated Axel, 250 00:11:32,343 --> 00:11:35,646 but not as much as I hated Dimitri. 251 00:11:35,829 --> 00:11:38,727 I still had to get the money I needed to approach him, 252 00:11:38,818 --> 00:11:40,960 but I knew I was close. 253 00:11:41,306 --> 00:11:43,360 I was certain those two clowns 254 00:11:43,424 --> 00:11:45,446 were gonna rob the poker game... 255 00:11:45,757 --> 00:11:49,721 and when they did, I would rob them. 256 00:11:56,389 --> 00:11:57,971 [GASPS] Howdy, friend! 257 00:11:58,017 --> 00:11:58,784 Hi, friend! 258 00:11:58,870 --> 00:12:01,933 Welcome. Oh, what is that terrible smell? 259 00:12:02,470 --> 00:12:04,443 Oh, that is the smell of... 260 00:12:04,498 --> 00:12:05,799 I call it "Confusion." 261 00:12:06,367 --> 00:12:08,450 You know, when I was getting ready to go out tonight, 262 00:12:08,494 --> 00:12:10,771 I put on some cologne, but as I was doing it 263 00:12:10,943 --> 00:12:12,605 I realized it was my "sexy cologne", 264 00:12:12,705 --> 00:12:14,887 you know, the one I use when I wanna be "sexy". 265 00:12:14,987 --> 00:12:16,328 Ah, when you wanna snag a lady? 266 00:12:16,428 --> 00:12:17,769 Yeah, exactly. 267 00:12:17,869 --> 00:12:19,471 But then I remembered I was gonna see a friend, 268 00:12:19,551 --> 00:12:21,893 so I put on my normal cologne. 269 00:12:21,993 --> 00:12:23,041 Without washing off the first one? 270 00:12:23,160 --> 00:12:26,703 Yes. So, uh, the combination is the bad smell. 271 00:12:26,834 --> 00:12:28,884 Oh. Well, you know, I said terrible, not bad. 272 00:12:28,922 --> 00:12:29,509 Oh. 273 00:12:29,612 --> 00:12:31,774 - Alcoholic beverage? - Thank you, friend. 274 00:12:32,166 --> 00:12:36,590 [STEREO PLAYING IN BACKGROUND] 275 00:12:36,596 --> 00:12:37,897 [INDISTINCT ARGUING] 276 00:12:37,934 --> 00:12:40,439 [INGMAR] What the hell are you guys waiting for? 277 00:12:40,549 --> 00:12:41,472 [SIGHS] 278 00:12:41,955 --> 00:12:44,257 Well, what the fuck you mean? 279 00:12:44,373 --> 00:12:45,554 We were hanging out a lot. 280 00:12:45,756 --> 00:12:47,571 Because, you were in fuckin' prison! 281 00:12:47,592 --> 00:12:48,545 Who was supposed to hang out with her? 282 00:12:48,584 --> 00:12:49,765 You gotta be kiddin' me! 283 00:12:49,842 --> 00:12:51,984 - One thing led to... - You slept with her? 284 00:12:52,255 --> 00:12:53,666 Yeah, but you would have done the same 285 00:12:53,672 --> 00:12:55,342 thing in my situation, and you know it! 286 00:12:55,434 --> 00:12:56,975 [SIGHS] [SCOFFS] 287 00:12:57,278 --> 00:12:58,419 Come on, dude. 288 00:12:58,511 --> 00:13:00,171 I'm just so fuckin' angry, man! 289 00:13:00,652 --> 00:13:01,673 [SIGHS] 290 00:13:01,945 --> 00:13:03,186 You know what, you know what, you... 291 00:13:03,298 --> 00:13:05,660 Oh, you're probably right. I probably would have. 292 00:13:05,880 --> 00:13:07,477 Enough of this fuckin' arguin' shit, man. 293 00:13:07,541 --> 00:13:08,862 We got a poker game to rob, right? 294 00:13:09,598 --> 00:13:10,499 Yup. 295 00:13:10,560 --> 00:13:12,169 Yeah, sweet. [CHUCKLES] 296 00:13:12,305 --> 00:13:14,229 Okay, now, I don't usually do this. 297 00:13:14,314 --> 00:13:16,336 And by not usually, I mean never. 298 00:13:16,397 --> 00:13:20,021 But in honor of your visit, I decided to make you 299 00:13:20,066 --> 00:13:23,129 some meatballs of the Swedish variety. 300 00:13:23,191 --> 00:13:25,112 [LAUGHS] Oh, come on. Please tell me you're joking. 301 00:13:25,254 --> 00:13:27,757 It's... it's like if you came to visit me in Sweden, and I said, 302 00:13:27,834 --> 00:13:30,211 "Oh, you're an American, I'm gonna cook you McDonald's for dinner". 303 00:13:30,260 --> 00:13:32,343 And I would actually like that. 304 00:13:32,416 --> 00:13:34,351 - Are you ready to try one? - Absolutely. 305 00:13:35,618 --> 00:13:37,619 Thank you. 306 00:13:38,128 --> 00:13:40,150 How is it? 307 00:13:40,867 --> 00:13:43,610 [MUFFLED] Um, it's terrible. 308 00:13:43,968 --> 00:13:45,394 [LAUGHS] Oh, it's that bad? 309 00:13:45,522 --> 00:13:47,664 [MUFFLED] Yeah, no, I didn't say bad, I said terrible. 310 00:13:47,699 --> 00:13:49,320 Oh, stop it. 311 00:13:49,420 --> 00:13:51,162 - Agh, agh. Mm-hmm. - [INDISTINCT MUMBLING] 312 00:13:51,262 --> 00:13:52,663 Yeah, it tastes like shit. Uh-huh. [LAUGHS] I'm sorry. 313 00:13:52,743 --> 00:13:54,325 [MUFFLED] Can I spit it out? 314 00:13:54,425 --> 00:13:55,906 [LAUGHS] Yeah, there's a trash right behind you. 315 00:13:55,986 --> 00:13:58,408 - Oh, my God. - [LAUGHS] 316 00:13:58,508 --> 00:13:59,409 Mm. 317 00:13:59,509 --> 00:14:01,765 Come on, guys, make your move! 318 00:14:02,008 --> 00:14:03,189 She's just so fuckin' hot. 319 00:14:03,320 --> 00:14:05,222 Listen, you gotta cut that shit out. 320 00:14:05,353 --> 00:14:06,872 You know what? 321 00:14:06,956 --> 00:14:09,942 You agreed you would have done the same thing in my position! 322 00:14:09,995 --> 00:14:11,726 Yeah, well, I lied just like you lied to me! 323 00:14:11,803 --> 00:14:13,366 I didn't lie about anything, man! 324 00:14:13,441 --> 00:14:15,063 Hey, you guys! Guys! 325 00:14:15,734 --> 00:14:18,083 I thought we worked this out last night. 326 00:14:18,155 --> 00:14:19,839 Yeah, well, he's supposed to be my best 327 00:14:19,845 --> 00:14:21,299 friend. He slept with my girlfriend! 328 00:14:21,440 --> 00:14:22,581 You did? 329 00:14:22,681 --> 00:14:24,383 Yeah, but it wasn't my fault! 330 00:14:24,459 --> 00:14:25,640 He was away at prison, 331 00:14:25,818 --> 00:14:27,267 and I was hanging out with his girlfriend, 332 00:14:27,318 --> 00:14:28,659 you know, just as friends? 333 00:14:28,688 --> 00:14:29,649 And the next thing you know... 334 00:14:29,729 --> 00:14:30,990 - They had sex! - Yes! 335 00:14:31,051 --> 00:14:33,233 Because dudes and chicks can't just be friends! 336 00:14:33,263 --> 00:14:35,265 They gotta get the dog on, right? 337 00:14:36,623 --> 00:14:37,805 Yeah, right. 338 00:14:37,905 --> 00:14:40,727 Can we just pause this conversation for a moment? 339 00:14:40,827 --> 00:14:43,570 I need to make a quick call to my daughter. 340 00:14:43,670 --> 00:14:45,011 - You got a daughter? - Is she hot? 341 00:14:45,111 --> 00:14:46,532 Hey. 342 00:14:46,640 --> 00:14:48,308 - [TECHNO MUSIC PLAYS] - So, all set. Press there. 343 00:14:48,394 --> 00:14:49,525 - Yeah. - Press there. 344 00:14:49,642 --> 00:14:50,620 - I'm excited! - Ready to go? 345 00:14:50,706 --> 00:14:52,978 Yeah. Okay, you have your treble. 346 00:14:53,079 --> 00:14:54,160 - [CELL PHONE RINGS MELODICALLY] - You have your treble... 347 00:14:54,248 --> 00:14:55,869 [SIGHS] It's my dad. 348 00:14:55,915 --> 00:14:58,311 [SCOFFS] Well, aren't you gonna answer it? 349 00:14:58,382 --> 00:15:02,426 No, because he is just calling to make sure we're not having sex. 350 00:15:03,124 --> 00:15:05,025 You... you know, he's just looking out for you. 351 00:15:05,218 --> 00:15:09,062 Yes, but I am a big girl, and I can look out for myself. 352 00:15:11,080 --> 00:15:12,902 So, um, yeah. 353 00:15:13,659 --> 00:15:14,804 - All right, now. - Where were we? 354 00:15:14,867 --> 00:15:16,589 Show me some of your, some of your DJ moves. 355 00:15:16,629 --> 00:15:17,057 Yeah. 356 00:15:17,117 --> 00:15:17,878 Shit. 357 00:15:18,682 --> 00:15:22,505 Hey, you guys! Guys! You're friends, right? 358 00:15:22,551 --> 00:15:24,086 - Yeah. Best friends. - The best. 359 00:15:24,163 --> 00:15:27,633 I had a best friend once, but he died ten years ago. 360 00:15:27,678 --> 00:15:31,900 But there's not a day that goes by without me thinkin' about him. 361 00:15:31,964 --> 00:15:33,805 Do you understand what I'm tryin' to say here? 362 00:15:34,276 --> 00:15:36,733 - I do. - Yeah. 363 00:15:37,091 --> 00:15:38,032 Bro's before ho's. 364 00:15:38,077 --> 00:15:39,579 Bro's before ho's. 365 00:15:39,749 --> 00:15:43,552 Not exactly, but it works. So, hug it out. 366 00:15:45,047 --> 00:15:47,048 I love you, man. 367 00:15:50,082 --> 00:15:52,706 I don't know who you are, or what your deal is, old man. 368 00:15:52,727 --> 00:15:54,870 But, uh, thank you. 369 00:15:54,956 --> 00:15:56,618 - Thanks. - Yeah. [CHUCKLES] 370 00:15:56,662 --> 00:15:58,784 But now you should probably get the fuck outta here. 371 00:15:58,912 --> 00:16:01,294 [YOUNG] Get to steppin'. 372 00:16:01,432 --> 00:16:02,323 I'm out. 373 00:16:02,347 --> 00:16:04,349 [YOUNG] Come on, cowboy! 374 00:16:06,931 --> 00:16:10,985 [TECHNO MUSIC PLAYING] 375 00:16:11,407 --> 00:16:14,707 Okay, this first move is called the "I'm concentrating" move. 376 00:16:14,842 --> 00:16:16,263 - [LAUGHS] Okay. - Okay? 377 00:16:16,293 --> 00:16:18,075 So you look really concentrated. 378 00:16:18,120 --> 00:16:19,861 You see this? A bit pissed off, you know? 379 00:16:19,914 --> 00:16:21,116 - [LAUGHS] - And you go like this. 380 00:16:21,251 --> 00:16:22,166 - Just turn knobs. - Okay. 381 00:16:22,203 --> 00:16:25,236 Step number two, called the "keep on dancing" move. 382 00:16:25,386 --> 00:16:26,373 - Okay. - Okay? 383 00:16:26,463 --> 00:16:28,725 Put one finger up. Go like this. 384 00:16:28,794 --> 00:16:29,735 I know this one! 385 00:16:29,772 --> 00:16:31,193 Yeah! You got it! 386 00:16:31,246 --> 00:16:32,588 Keep on dancing! 387 00:16:32,641 --> 00:16:35,203 Keep on dancin'! 388 00:16:39,086 --> 00:16:45,051 ? Ooh, it's a long way to... ? 389 00:16:46,988 --> 00:16:48,603 I'm sorry, I can't do this. 390 00:16:48,730 --> 00:16:50,072 [MUSIC STOPS] 391 00:16:50,119 --> 00:16:52,181 Do what? 392 00:16:52,476 --> 00:16:55,158 [SIGHS] Ingmar was right. 393 00:16:55,725 --> 00:16:56,906 What do you mean? 394 00:16:57,810 --> 00:17:00,212 I... you know what I mean. 395 00:17:01,870 --> 00:17:02,771 Yeah, okay, yeah. 396 00:17:02,848 --> 00:17:05,751 So, I should go. 397 00:17:05,803 --> 00:17:08,105 Uh, mm. All right. 398 00:17:08,276 --> 00:17:11,521 Oh, hey, but just so we're clear, this is about sex, right? 399 00:17:11,599 --> 00:17:13,716 It's not, it's not about my meatballs? 400 00:17:13,793 --> 00:17:15,324 No, no. No, it's about sex. Yeah. 401 00:17:15,374 --> 00:17:16,058 - Oh, okay. - Yeah. 402 00:17:16,160 --> 00:17:17,201 But the meatballs didn't help. 403 00:17:17,266 --> 00:17:19,488 - 'Cause they were shit. - [LAUGHS] 404 00:17:24,961 --> 00:17:27,423 Yeah, finally. 405 00:17:27,499 --> 00:17:29,961 That's it. 406 00:17:30,084 --> 00:17:32,226 Come on, just a few steps. 407 00:17:32,318 --> 00:17:35,815 Be friends now, no fighting, that's it. 408 00:17:35,893 --> 00:17:37,154 Ah! 409 00:17:37,175 --> 00:17:39,360 All right, everyone, hands in the air! 410 00:17:39,453 --> 00:17:40,952 Hands in the air and no one will get hurt, all right? 411 00:17:40,994 --> 00:17:42,508 Do as we say and nobody gets hurt! 412 00:17:42,616 --> 00:17:44,157 Everyone, chill out! All right? 413 00:17:44,257 --> 00:17:45,339 Where's the cash, right here? 414 00:17:45,368 --> 00:17:46,205 Come on, baby, hurry up, hurry up with it! 415 00:17:46,262 --> 00:17:47,423 Put the cash in the bag. Let's go. 416 00:17:47,487 --> 00:17:50,169 No I don't want chips, just cash! 417 00:17:51,571 --> 00:17:54,834 Come on, guys! What the hell is taking so long? 418 00:17:55,145 --> 00:17:56,178 Ax... el. 419 00:17:56,219 --> 00:17:58,070 Axel! Axel! 420 00:17:58,278 --> 00:18:02,361 [WHISPERING] Shh, shh. Come here. Shh. Come, come. 421 00:18:02,881 --> 00:18:04,383 Jeez. 422 00:18:04,771 --> 00:18:06,632 What the hell are you doing here?! 423 00:18:06,967 --> 00:18:08,172 I... I have an apology to make. 424 00:18:08,354 --> 00:18:10,747 Well, uh, later, later, not now. 425 00:18:10,832 --> 00:18:11,988 No, no, I have to do it face to face. 426 00:18:12,018 --> 00:18:13,159 Come on! 427 00:18:13,408 --> 00:18:15,039 What? 428 00:18:15,293 --> 00:18:16,354 [SIGHS] 429 00:18:16,407 --> 00:18:17,508 I lied. 430 00:18:17,679 --> 00:18:18,678 What? 431 00:18:18,766 --> 00:18:20,847 You know, uh, about just wanting to be friends with Sarah. 432 00:18:21,483 --> 00:18:23,384 All this time I've just wanted to... 433 00:18:23,460 --> 00:18:24,882 bed her. 434 00:18:25,130 --> 00:18:27,108 Don't even go there, Axel, please! 435 00:18:27,172 --> 00:18:30,687 No, no, but I'm not apologizing for wanting to have hot sex with her. 436 00:18:30,825 --> 00:18:32,709 I'm apologizing about the lie. 437 00:18:32,798 --> 00:18:34,529 Because even if you don't think of me as 438 00:18:34,535 --> 00:18:36,100 a friend, I think of you as a friend. 439 00:18:36,144 --> 00:18:37,802 And friends don't lie to each other. 440 00:18:37,900 --> 00:18:39,141 - [ROBBER] Let's go! Let's go! - [INGMAR] Shit! 441 00:18:39,472 --> 00:18:40,774 - Get outta here! - What? 442 00:18:40,881 --> 00:18:41,982 [INGMAR] Get out of the car! 443 00:18:42,050 --> 00:18:43,051 Are they robbing the poker game? 444 00:18:43,132 --> 00:18:44,793 Yes, so get out of the car! 445 00:18:44,955 --> 00:18:46,597 [AXEL] Not until you explain what's going on. 446 00:18:46,677 --> 00:18:48,679 Okay, okay! Fine! 447 00:18:52,111 --> 00:18:54,447 [AXEL] I know you, Ingmar. You planned this! You lied to me! 448 00:18:54,650 --> 00:18:57,432 I didn't lie. I just didn't tell you the whole truth. 449 00:18:57,532 --> 00:18:58,853 Well, that's not what friends do! 450 00:18:58,934 --> 00:18:59,874 We're not friends. 451 00:18:59,974 --> 00:19:01,276 Of course we're friends. 452 00:19:01,376 --> 00:19:02,457 We work together, that's all! 453 00:19:02,537 --> 00:19:03,918 Oh, you're lying to yourself. 454 00:19:04,018 --> 00:19:05,239 Hold on! 455 00:19:05,339 --> 00:19:07,922 [TIRES SCREECH] 456 00:19:08,022 --> 00:19:09,341 - You see that? - What? 457 00:19:09,368 --> 00:19:10,549 See what you did there? 458 00:19:10,719 --> 00:19:12,341 That's what friends do. 459 00:19:12,746 --> 00:19:17,470 What are you talking about? It was a reflex, pure reflex. 460 00:19:19,310 --> 00:19:19,800 [GUNSHOTS] 461 00:19:19,912 --> 00:19:23,696 Whoa, what... the... hell? 462 00:19:24,038 --> 00:19:26,900 You stay here. 463 00:19:35,013 --> 00:19:37,155 I already knew what had happened, 464 00:19:37,255 --> 00:19:41,639 that stuff that happens when you get too close to somebody, 465 00:19:41,739 --> 00:19:45,066 that thing Axel called "friendship". 466 00:19:45,243 --> 00:19:49,147 Sometimes, it only leads to pain, 467 00:19:49,617 --> 00:19:53,420 and sometimes it even leads to death. 468 00:20:07,313 --> 00:20:09,575 This should be enough for Dimitri. 469 00:20:15,828 --> 00:20:17,643 They said they were best friends. 470 00:20:17,698 --> 00:20:19,279 That's what they told me. 471 00:20:19,988 --> 00:20:21,850 And then they shot each other. 472 00:20:22,067 --> 00:20:23,008 [SCOFFS] 473 00:20:23,296 --> 00:20:24,562 I dated a girl once. 474 00:20:24,774 --> 00:20:28,822 She was a screenwriter, and she told me that characters 475 00:20:28,937 --> 00:20:32,840 are not being defined by the things they say, but by the things they do. 476 00:20:32,892 --> 00:20:34,546 You mean like putting your arm out to make sure 477 00:20:34,575 --> 00:20:36,202 I didn't get hurt while you made a turn? 478 00:20:36,266 --> 00:20:37,845 No, I mean by the way you came to me 479 00:20:37,889 --> 00:20:41,252 and apologized for not being honest to me. 480 00:20:43,389 --> 00:20:45,671 I do appreciate things like that. 481 00:20:46,861 --> 00:20:48,283 Hold on! 482 00:20:48,703 --> 00:20:50,705 [TIRES SCREECH] 483 00:20:52,048 --> 00:20:57,173 Like I said, reflex, pure reflex. 484 00:21:19,311 --> 00:21:20,973 We were filming an orgy scene, 485 00:21:21,026 --> 00:21:22,947 and none of my 20 actors could get a damn erection. 486 00:21:23,042 --> 00:21:23,940 Not one! 487 00:21:24,026 --> 00:21:26,766 [SUN] Sound like curse working, big time. 488 00:21:27,315 --> 00:21:28,929 Yeah, my milk cows have definitely gone dry, 489 00:21:28,969 --> 00:21:30,871 and my horses have definitely gone lame. 490 00:21:31,135 --> 00:21:33,277 Just like I say, but you no listen. 491 00:21:33,338 --> 00:21:36,161 Please, I'm begging you, take back the damn curse. 492 00:21:36,221 --> 00:21:39,025 I take back curse, you drop lawsuit. 493 00:21:39,073 --> 00:21:40,334 I drop lawsuit! 494 00:21:40,380 --> 00:21:43,243 Hey! You make fun my English? 495 00:21:43,311 --> 00:21:44,323 No, I no make fun! 496 00:21:44,378 --> 00:21:46,209 I mean I'm not makin' fun, I swear! 497 00:21:46,334 --> 00:21:50,719 All right. I take back curse on two condition. 498 00:21:50,849 --> 00:21:53,032 One, you drop lawsuit. 499 00:21:53,148 --> 00:21:54,609 Done! What else? 500 00:21:54,975 --> 00:21:58,497 And you send to the great leader of my home country 501 00:21:58,631 --> 00:22:01,053 all your films, whole catalogue. 502 00:22:01,098 --> 00:22:02,079 Done! 503 00:22:02,179 --> 00:22:03,961 On VHS. 504 00:22:04,062 --> 00:22:05,363 Uh, VHS? 505 00:22:05,438 --> 00:22:06,659 Yes. 506 00:22:07,947 --> 00:22:12,650 - Synced & Corrected by Dragoniod - www.addic7ed.com 507 00:22:12,700 --> 00:22:17,250 Repair and Synchronization by Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0 36726

Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.