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1
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[Maude, on phone] Axel, I
have been your therapist
2
00:00:09,866 --> 00:00:11,007
for a long time now,
3
00:00:11,107 --> 00:00:12,528
and for the first time,
4
00:00:12,628 --> 00:00:15,331
I can truly say
we're making some progress.
5
00:00:15,431 --> 00:00:18,013
Quitting being a DJ and
becoming a private investigator
6
00:00:18,113 --> 00:00:19,455
was a wise move on your part.
7
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[Axel] I agree.
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That's why I decided
to quit something else.
9
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My antidepressants.
10
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- What?!
- Yeah. I quit my meds.
11
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Six days ago to be exact.
12
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I don't approve of this, Axel, at all.
13
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[Axel] It just feels like
the right thing to do.
14
00:00:31,612 --> 00:00:33,325
I want my mind to be clear and sharp
15
00:00:33,376 --> 00:00:36,058
when I'm helping Ingmar to figure out
whatever happened to his friend.
16
00:00:36,273 --> 00:00:37,895
But you can't just quit cold turkey.
17
00:00:37,915 --> 00:00:39,905
You could suffer serious side effects.
18
00:00:40,279 --> 00:00:42,822
- What kind of serious side effects?
- Sweating,
19
00:00:42,922 --> 00:00:44,123
nausea, vomiting, diarrhea,
20
00:00:44,203 --> 00:00:45,776
extreme mood swings, hallucination,
21
00:00:45,829 --> 00:00:48,118
manic depressive episodes
that could last for weeks
22
00:00:48,345 --> 00:00:49,524
or months.
23
00:00:49,558 --> 00:00:51,020
Sounds like a hangover I had once.
24
00:00:51,477 --> 00:00:52,858
No, I'll be fine.
25
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Talk to you next week.
26
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[indistinct music on radio]
27
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I didn't know you were
taking antidepressants.
28
00:01:00,045 --> 00:01:02,548
Oh, yeah. I did for years.
29
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You're always so happy.
30
00:01:04,841 --> 00:01:05,942
Yeah, I know,
31
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because I took antidepressants.
32
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But now I'm off them.
33
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Well, I couldn't help but overhearing
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something about side effects.
35
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Oh, that's nothing serious.
36
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It was just small things like sweating,
37
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vomiting, nausea, diarrhea,
38
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extreme mood shifts, hallucinations,
39
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manic depressive episodes.
40
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Could last for weeks,
for months, for years.
41
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For years?
42
00:01:31,031 --> 00:01:32,933
No! Not... not for years.
43
00:01:32,961 --> 00:01:34,623
- Wait, what?
- What?
44
00:01:34,660 --> 00:01:35,961
You said for years.
45
00:01:36,013 --> 00:01:37,753
No. Well, yeah.
46
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Now I'm not sure.
47
00:01:39,661 --> 00:01:43,244
I might have hallucinated hearing
her saying that, but, uh...
48
00:01:43,281 --> 00:01:46,104
In fact, I might be hallucinating
this conversation right now.
49
00:01:46,228 --> 00:01:48,833
Okay, okay, okay, here we are.
50
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The cameraman's last known address.
51
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[Ingmar] Those of you
who don't remember,
52
00:01:54,269 --> 00:01:57,072
- my best friend Tex died...
- [shouting indistinctly]
53
00:01:57,146 --> 00:01:58,735
when we were shooting a movie
54
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called Blood Curse 2.
55
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Holy shit!
56
00:02:01,765 --> 00:02:02,866
You can see someone
57
00:02:03,212 --> 00:02:04,314
in the reflection.
58
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[Ingmar] The cameraman had been shooting
59
00:02:06,117 --> 00:02:07,699
some behind-the-scenes stuff,
60
00:02:08,040 --> 00:02:10,302
and maybe his old footage could explain
61
00:02:10,402 --> 00:02:13,685
what really happened to Tex that day.
62
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Yes?
63
00:02:21,636 --> 00:02:23,618
Hi. Are you Oscar?
64
00:02:24,203 --> 00:02:24,998
Yes.
65
00:02:25,215 --> 00:02:26,416
You used to work as a cameraman?
66
00:02:27,060 --> 00:02:27,884
Yes.
67
00:02:28,013 --> 00:02:30,875
We would like to ask you a
few questions about a...
68
00:02:31,285 --> 00:02:33,332
a movie you worked on a few years back
69
00:02:33,412 --> 00:02:35,153
called Blood Curse 2.
70
00:02:35,554 --> 00:02:37,897
Yeah. I remember that one. That was...
71
00:02:38,465 --> 00:02:40,535
That was the one where
the stuntman died.
72
00:02:40,714 --> 00:02:41,409
Yeah.
73
00:02:41,448 --> 00:02:43,941
It was a hell of a crappy movie.
74
00:02:44,490 --> 00:02:45,838
Yeah.
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00:02:45,929 --> 00:02:48,552
Some people consider it a cult classic.
76
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Ah.
77
00:02:49,965 --> 00:02:52,257
Yeah, we were wondering if you might
78
00:02:52,284 --> 00:02:55,787
still have the tape that you
were shooting that day?
79
00:02:56,315 --> 00:02:57,497
No.
80
00:02:57,560 --> 00:02:59,222
- Sorry.
- [frustrated sigh]
81
00:02:59,346 --> 00:03:00,407
Yeah.
82
00:03:00,523 --> 00:03:02,252
Well, I... I have a copy.
83
00:03:02,382 --> 00:03:03,167
Oh, you do?
84
00:03:03,241 --> 00:03:04,422
Yes, but, um,
85
00:03:04,554 --> 00:03:06,376
I have to go dig it out of one of my...
86
00:03:06,476 --> 00:03:07,897
my ten storage lockers.
87
00:03:07,957 --> 00:03:09,189
That could take a little time.
88
00:03:09,249 --> 00:03:11,156
Yeah, but when you find it,
89
00:03:11,232 --> 00:03:12,813
can we have a look at it?
90
00:03:13,126 --> 00:03:14,226
Sure, of course.
91
00:03:14,349 --> 00:03:15,330
Yes!
92
00:03:15,542 --> 00:03:16,603
- [dog barking]
- Whoo!
93
00:03:16,687 --> 00:03:17,717
Ha ha!
94
00:03:17,778 --> 00:03:19,320
Cameraman's gonna call us!
95
00:03:19,365 --> 00:03:21,492
Oh, god. Camaraderie.
96
00:03:21,552 --> 00:03:23,213
Oh, god, that smell is...
97
00:03:23,266 --> 00:03:24,979
[sniffs] Oh, that so unique.
98
00:03:25,026 --> 00:03:25,967
Okay.
99
00:03:26,028 --> 00:03:27,129
Whoo!
100
00:03:27,356 --> 00:03:30,787
[theme music]
101
00:03:51,037 --> 00:03:55,084
Swedish Dicks 1x06
102
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- Synced & Corrected by Dragoniod -
www.addic7ed.com
103
00:04:01,958 --> 00:04:03,543
[elevator bell rings]
104
00:04:03,679 --> 00:04:05,259
What the fuck?! You late!
105
00:04:05,303 --> 00:04:06,602
Yeah, you can blame him.
106
00:04:06,730 --> 00:04:09,473
He had to stop three times
so I could throw up.
107
00:04:09,645 --> 00:04:11,467
You lucky I lock client in your office.
108
00:04:11,567 --> 00:04:12,748
Otherwise, she'd be gone.
109
00:04:12,848 --> 00:04:14,469
You did what?!
110
00:04:14,569 --> 00:04:16,831
I lock her in your office.
111
00:04:16,931 --> 00:04:17,952
Oh, Ch...
112
00:04:18,052 --> 00:04:19,834
You are...
113
00:04:19,934 --> 00:04:21,214
- [squeaks]
- It's one thing to be late.
114
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It's another to have your assistant
115
00:04:22,989 --> 00:04:25,346
lock me in this room so I can't leave.
116
00:04:25,400 --> 00:04:26,386
It's unbelievable.
117
00:04:26,415 --> 00:04:27,916
Excuse me. First of all,
118
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we apologize for being late.
119
00:04:29,919 --> 00:04:33,662
Second of all, this Sun
is not our assistant.
120
00:04:33,731 --> 00:04:35,012
No, she... She just
works in the building.
121
00:04:35,339 --> 00:04:36,867
Well, you two definitely
need an assistant.
122
00:04:36,913 --> 00:04:38,534
Maybe then you wouldn't be late.
123
00:04:38,627 --> 00:04:40,089
Oh, that's a... That's a great idea.
124
00:04:40,331 --> 00:04:42,312
Yeah. No, no, it's more
125
00:04:42,389 --> 00:04:43,716
than a great idea. It's actually...
126
00:04:43,769 --> 00:04:45,771
It's an... It's an excellent idea.
127
00:04:46,069 --> 00:04:47,050
No! No, it's more...
128
00:04:47,165 --> 00:04:48,121
It's more than excellent.
129
00:04:48,274 --> 00:04:50,143
It's a combination of the two of them.
130
00:04:50,209 --> 00:04:51,390
So it's grexcellent.
131
00:04:51,626 --> 00:04:53,328
[laughs]
132
00:04:53,633 --> 00:04:56,255
So how can we help you, miss?
133
00:04:56,911 --> 00:04:58,153
Um...
134
00:04:58,835 --> 00:05:03,019
I own and operate one of the
most successful pet cemeteries.
135
00:05:03,222 --> 00:05:07,285
Well, it was one of the most
successful until recently.
136
00:05:07,369 --> 00:05:10,368
My main competitor has
reduced his cremation prices
137
00:05:10,418 --> 00:05:12,483
to the point where he's taking
away all of my business.
138
00:05:12,563 --> 00:05:15,783
All right, but there's
nothing illegal about that.
139
00:05:15,876 --> 00:05:17,578
No, there's nothing illegal about that,
140
00:05:17,670 --> 00:05:20,412
but I suspect he is not cremating
the animals individually
141
00:05:20,868 --> 00:05:21,932
like he claims.
142
00:05:22,010 --> 00:05:24,864
I think he's cremating
them in large groups,
143
00:05:24,970 --> 00:05:28,453
which is not only illegal,
it's immoral and unethical.
144
00:05:29,096 --> 00:05:31,098
I'm sorry.
145
00:05:31,612 --> 00:05:32,993
I'm sorry. It's just so sad.
146
00:05:33,093 --> 00:05:34,715
No, don't you apologize.
147
00:05:34,815 --> 00:05:37,277
When I think of those soulless bastards
148
00:05:37,377 --> 00:05:39,539
taking advantage of their
grieving clients like that,
149
00:05:39,619 --> 00:05:41,621
it makes me want to break
down and cry, too.
150
00:05:42,361 --> 00:05:45,704
[sobbing]
151
00:05:47,146 --> 00:05:49,608
Not quite like that, but...
152
00:05:49,708 --> 00:05:51,071
[Ingmar] The lady was right.
153
00:05:51,157 --> 00:05:53,299
That was too strong of a reaction.
154
00:05:53,343 --> 00:05:55,309
- Well...
- And we definitely needed
155
00:05:55,368 --> 00:05:56,309
an assistant.
156
00:05:56,441 --> 00:05:58,182
I'm okay.
157
00:05:59,076 --> 00:06:01,409
After putting our badge all over town,
158
00:06:01,458 --> 00:06:03,600
we started our investigation.
159
00:06:05,002 --> 00:06:07,003
[horns honking]
160
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Buried or cremated?
161
00:06:13,518 --> 00:06:14,979
What?
162
00:06:15,365 --> 00:06:16,458
Wh... when you die,
163
00:06:16,540 --> 00:06:18,161
do you want to be buried or cremated?
164
00:06:18,284 --> 00:06:19,557
Cremated,
165
00:06:19,657 --> 00:06:22,600
like a true Viking on a burning ship
166
00:06:22,717 --> 00:06:24,201
set out to the sea.
167
00:06:24,249 --> 00:06:25,591
No, no, no.
168
00:06:25,731 --> 00:06:26,952
No, I can't do that.
169
00:06:26,996 --> 00:06:28,737
I... I... I get seasick.
170
00:06:29,083 --> 00:06:31,666
Well, let me guess. You
want to get buried
171
00:06:31,775 --> 00:06:33,418
because it's good for the environment.
172
00:06:33,453 --> 00:06:35,598
No, no, no, I'm not gonna be buried,
173
00:06:35,733 --> 00:06:36,874
or cremated.
174
00:06:37,371 --> 00:06:38,233
No?
175
00:06:38,264 --> 00:06:39,405
I'm gonna live forever.
176
00:06:39,655 --> 00:06:41,077
Oh, yeah? [laughing]
177
00:06:41,161 --> 00:06:42,822
No, that's no joke.
178
00:06:42,883 --> 00:06:45,166
You know, with today's
advancements in medical science,
179
00:06:45,420 --> 00:06:46,761
it's a real possibility.
180
00:06:46,861 --> 00:06:48,683
At least for my generation.
181
00:06:48,783 --> 00:06:49,885
What about mine?
182
00:06:50,035 --> 00:06:51,777
No, you guys are totally fucked.
183
00:06:51,941 --> 00:06:53,322
Look out!
184
00:06:53,501 --> 00:06:54,773
[tires squeal]
185
00:06:54,867 --> 00:06:56,288
[whimpers] There was a moose!
186
00:06:56,570 --> 00:06:57,511
I swear I saw a moose!
187
00:06:57,611 --> 00:06:59,193
Yeah! Didn't you see it?
188
00:06:59,293 --> 00:07:00,754
It had, like... It had sunglasses,
189
00:07:00,854 --> 00:07:03,417
and it was riding a skateboard.
190
00:07:05,361 --> 00:07:07,743
Oh.
191
00:07:08,975 --> 00:07:10,076
I was hallucinating.
192
00:07:10,176 --> 00:07:13,479
[exhales] It was just a hallucination.
193
00:07:13,579 --> 00:07:16,522
Okay. Okay, I'm fine.
194
00:07:16,622 --> 00:07:18,323
No worries.
195
00:07:18,430 --> 00:07:21,049
[Ingmar] The plan to see if the cemetery
196
00:07:21,081 --> 00:07:24,624
was burning animals in
large groups was simple.
197
00:07:25,075 --> 00:07:27,297
We pretended to be pet owners
198
00:07:27,397 --> 00:07:30,220
whose beloved dog was about to die.
199
00:07:30,320 --> 00:07:32,036
Well, uh, I would just like to say
200
00:07:32,067 --> 00:07:33,958
thank you for choosing Creature Comfort
201
00:07:34,006 --> 00:07:35,506
as your pet's final resting place
202
00:07:35,547 --> 00:07:37,445
and to extend my warmest
203
00:07:37,504 --> 00:07:40,087
and most heartfelt condolences to you
204
00:07:40,227 --> 00:07:41,888
at this time of immense grief.
205
00:07:42,027 --> 00:07:42,667
Thank you.
206
00:07:42,770 --> 00:07:44,111
Thank you. Thank you so much.
207
00:07:44,172 --> 00:07:45,673
We appreciate that.
208
00:07:45,756 --> 00:07:47,411
He means a lot.
209
00:07:47,626 --> 00:07:48,780
So... so much.
210
00:07:48,868 --> 00:07:51,331
Am I correct in saying
that your dearly loved pet
211
00:07:51,431 --> 00:07:53,693
has not yet left this world?
212
00:07:53,793 --> 00:07:54,814
Not... not yet.
213
00:07:54,914 --> 00:07:56,535
But soon.
214
00:07:56,635 --> 00:07:58,617
We think it's best to be prepared.
215
00:07:58,717 --> 00:07:59,658
Yeah.
216
00:07:59,936 --> 00:08:01,557
That's a very wise move on your part.
217
00:08:01,657 --> 00:08:03,639
And what sort of animal is he?
218
00:08:03,739 --> 00:08:06,442
- He's a dog.
- Dove.
219
00:08:06,542 --> 00:08:07,723
Dove? He's a...
220
00:08:07,823 --> 00:08:09,525
But he's a very big dove.
221
00:08:09,708 --> 00:08:11,650
Oh, a... dove?
222
00:08:11,750 --> 00:08:15,053
He's, uh, almost more
like a condor, I think.
223
00:08:15,153 --> 00:08:16,060
That would be a first.
224
00:08:16,235 --> 00:08:18,457
He keeps him on a leash, actually.
225
00:08:18,557 --> 00:08:19,578
We... we call him Stu.
226
00:08:19,678 --> 00:08:21,540
Okay.
227
00:08:21,640 --> 00:08:23,422
Yeah.
228
00:08:23,537 --> 00:08:26,915
Sir, may I use your restroom?
229
00:08:27,043 --> 00:08:29,626
Yes, by all means. It's, uh, right
out that door, down the hall.
230
00:08:29,726 --> 00:08:32,348
- Okay.
- Can't miss it, all right.
231
00:08:32,448 --> 00:08:36,552
[Ingmar] And while Axel
kept the owner preoccupied,
232
00:08:36,652 --> 00:08:40,075
I took a quick look around the place.
233
00:08:40,175 --> 00:08:42,177
[machinery humming]
234
00:08:43,538 --> 00:08:45,540
[flames crackling]
235
00:08:46,041 --> 00:08:47,925
[sizzling]
236
00:08:48,114 --> 00:08:50,814
Unfortunately, Axel had some trouble
237
00:08:50,834 --> 00:08:52,816
holding up his end of the plan.
238
00:08:53,004 --> 00:08:54,705
[inhales]
239
00:08:54,828 --> 00:08:56,870
[exhales]
240
00:08:58,456 --> 00:08:59,547
Are you all right?
241
00:08:59,595 --> 00:09:00,696
Yeah, great.
242
00:09:01,098 --> 00:09:01,999
Why?
243
00:09:02,099 --> 00:09:03,400
Because you're sweating...
244
00:09:03,500 --> 00:09:04,721
a lot.
245
00:09:04,821 --> 00:09:05,722
Really?
246
00:09:05,822 --> 00:09:07,163
Mm.
247
00:09:07,263 --> 00:09:10,286
Doesn't feel like a lot, no.
248
00:09:10,386 --> 00:09:13,729
Just... Ow.
249
00:09:13,829 --> 00:09:15,611
My eyes are burning,
250
00:09:15,711 --> 00:09:16,868
from the sweat...
251
00:09:17,090 --> 00:09:19,752
that I'm... that I'm not sweating.
252
00:09:19,852 --> 00:09:21,148
Maybe I should get your life partner.
253
00:09:21,172 --> 00:09:22,914
No! No, please.
254
00:09:23,022 --> 00:09:25,164
Please, sorry. Just sit.
255
00:09:25,288 --> 00:09:27,110
Just...
256
00:09:27,940 --> 00:09:29,941
Oh.
257
00:09:37,281 --> 00:09:38,723
- [vomit splashing in urn]
- Okay, that's it.
258
00:09:38,771 --> 00:09:39,672
I'm gonna go get him.
259
00:09:40,167 --> 00:09:42,429
Sorry I took so long.
260
00:09:42,529 --> 00:09:44,030
Did I miss something?
261
00:09:44,130 --> 00:09:45,672
- Well, I...
- [splashing]
262
00:09:45,772 --> 00:09:47,834
[Ingmar] Well, maybe
we should leave, eh?
263
00:09:47,934 --> 00:09:48,772
Please. And...
264
00:09:48,917 --> 00:09:50,158
Please, take the urn with you.
265
00:09:50,198 --> 00:09:52,060
Okay. Thank you.
266
00:09:52,223 --> 00:09:53,604
Okay.
267
00:09:53,824 --> 00:09:55,206
Very nice office you have.
268
00:09:55,306 --> 00:09:56,887
Thank you.
269
00:09:56,987 --> 00:10:00,537
There's something fishy
about this place.
270
00:10:00,594 --> 00:10:02,336
Yeah. Yeah, the fish.
271
00:10:02,913 --> 00:10:04,854
- Fish?
- We have to catch the fish.
272
00:10:04,954 --> 00:10:08,177
What was that, Axel?
273
00:10:08,277 --> 00:10:09,978
You better get back on your meds.
274
00:10:10,067 --> 00:10:10,970
Why?
275
00:10:11,072 --> 00:10:13,294
Why? Because you're a mess.
276
00:10:13,345 --> 00:10:15,126
It's affecting our job.
277
00:10:15,551 --> 00:10:17,733
[scoffs] Well, if it's affecting my job,
278
00:10:17,798 --> 00:10:21,469
how come I was just presented
with this barrel of gold?
279
00:10:21,574 --> 00:10:22,795
It's not gold.
280
00:10:22,910 --> 00:10:24,131
It's vomit.
281
00:10:24,192 --> 00:10:25,170
Your vomit.
282
00:10:25,211 --> 00:10:27,533
- [retching]
- [cell phone rings]
283
00:10:29,513 --> 00:10:30,974
It's the cameraman.
284
00:10:31,074 --> 00:10:32,936
- [rings, beeps]
- Hello, Oscar.
285
00:10:33,036 --> 00:10:34,618
[Oscar speaking indistinctly]
286
00:10:34,718 --> 00:10:38,421
That's great. Thank you.
287
00:10:38,506 --> 00:10:40,093
He found it.
288
00:10:40,149 --> 00:10:41,530
- Yes! Yes!
- [sloshing]
289
00:10:41,590 --> 00:10:42,891
- No!
- No! No!
290
00:10:42,928 --> 00:10:44,068
[groans]
291
00:10:44,074 --> 00:10:45,909
[engine starts]
292
00:10:46,037 --> 00:10:48,460
[Ingmar] Besides my car being violated,
293
00:10:48,505 --> 00:10:51,488
our overall situation
looked pretty good.
294
00:10:51,720 --> 00:10:53,654
The cameraman had found the tape,
295
00:10:53,772 --> 00:10:56,280
and our first candidate
for the assistant job
296
00:10:56,341 --> 00:10:57,282
had found us.
297
00:10:57,367 --> 00:10:58,868
On behalf of the Dicks,
298
00:10:58,935 --> 00:11:01,197
I want to apologize for
their not being here.
299
00:11:01,400 --> 00:11:04,583
Everything so chaos since
last assistant "quit."
300
00:11:05,692 --> 00:11:07,933
Why did you just make air
quotes around "quit"?
301
00:11:07,991 --> 00:11:10,373
Oh, you saw that?
302
00:11:10,521 --> 00:11:12,523
Yes.
303
00:11:13,200 --> 00:11:14,581
Because you did it
304
00:11:14,681 --> 00:11:16,503
right in front of my face.
305
00:11:16,603 --> 00:11:20,787
I make air quotes because
assistant not "quit."
306
00:11:20,887 --> 00:11:23,429
Assistant die.
307
00:11:23,529 --> 00:11:25,071
On the job?
308
00:11:25,171 --> 00:11:29,275
Dicks specifically tell me
not to mention details.
309
00:11:29,375 --> 00:11:34,196
Dicks also specifically ask me
to ask specific questions, okay?
310
00:11:34,297 --> 00:11:35,638
Sure.
311
00:11:35,715 --> 00:11:38,137
You capable of lifting heavy things?
312
00:11:38,371 --> 00:11:40,033
I'm strong for my size,
313
00:11:40,062 --> 00:11:41,203
so I'd say yes.
314
00:11:41,273 --> 00:11:42,615
Oh, good.
315
00:11:42,684 --> 00:11:45,386
Good. So you could lift rolled-up carpet
316
00:11:45,422 --> 00:11:47,860
with the weight of
dead human body inside
317
00:11:47,910 --> 00:11:50,172
and, uh, throw it in the trunk of car
318
00:11:50,216 --> 00:11:52,218
and put it in the ocean?
319
00:11:53,585 --> 00:11:54,766
No.
320
00:11:55,100 --> 00:11:58,241
Elizabeth say no to
lifting heavy things.
321
00:11:58,324 --> 00:11:59,666
Okay, next question.
322
00:11:59,718 --> 00:12:01,339
You be willing to testify in court
323
00:12:01,392 --> 00:12:02,974
and swear on the Bible,
324
00:12:03,033 --> 00:12:06,046
but yet lie to protect employer?
325
00:12:06,087 --> 00:12:07,348
Of course not.
326
00:12:07,797 --> 00:12:11,460
Elizabeth say no to being team player.
327
00:12:11,560 --> 00:12:14,003
I'm so... What kinds of
questions are these?
328
00:12:20,916 --> 00:12:22,556
Okay, why are you staring
at me like that?
329
00:12:22,615 --> 00:12:23,996
Oh, I'm sorry.
330
00:12:24,318 --> 00:12:25,800
I... I just thinking
331
00:12:25,903 --> 00:12:29,591
how much you look like
old, dead assistant.
332
00:12:30,820 --> 00:12:32,401
[Oscar] So lucky for you,
333
00:12:32,438 --> 00:12:34,981
I saved copies of everything
that I worked on.
334
00:12:35,026 --> 00:12:36,007
Can we look at that?
335
00:12:36,066 --> 00:12:37,527
Yes, on one condition.
336
00:12:37,588 --> 00:12:39,590
You name it.
337
00:12:40,023 --> 00:12:41,505
Kill me.
338
00:12:41,827 --> 00:12:42,768
[ominous music]
339
00:12:43,147 --> 00:12:44,369
What?
340
00:12:45,384 --> 00:12:48,446
Kill me and the tape is yours.
341
00:12:48,502 --> 00:12:50,523
- Do I have a hallucination?
- No.
342
00:12:50,632 --> 00:12:52,935
Sir, we don't understand.
343
00:12:53,233 --> 00:12:55,615
I'm old. I'm miserable.
344
00:12:55,787 --> 00:12:57,682
I've got nothing left to live for.
345
00:12:57,976 --> 00:13:00,358
You put me out of my misery,
346
00:13:00,458 --> 00:13:05,002
and I'll make sure my lawyer
gets this tape to you.
347
00:13:05,102 --> 00:13:07,845
So what's stopping me
from snatching the tape
348
00:13:07,945 --> 00:13:08,918
out of your hands right now?
349
00:13:09,057 --> 00:13:11,079
That little voice in
your head that says,
350
00:13:11,148 --> 00:13:13,009
"Stealing is wrong."
351
00:13:13,068 --> 00:13:14,650
A louder voice keeps telling me
352
00:13:14,679 --> 00:13:16,020
that I need that tape now.
353
00:13:16,073 --> 00:13:18,576
Okay, good. Well, then it's a good thing
354
00:13:18,628 --> 00:13:20,680
that I listened to the voice in my head,
355
00:13:20,715 --> 00:13:22,574
which told me to bring this.
356
00:13:22,647 --> 00:13:23,908
- Hey.
- Now, come on, guys,
357
00:13:23,944 --> 00:13:25,166
what's the big deal?
358
00:13:25,426 --> 00:13:28,649
All you have to do is sneak in at night
359
00:13:28,693 --> 00:13:30,245
and put a pillow over my head.
360
00:13:30,334 --> 00:13:32,957
Wham, bam, thank you, ma'am, I'm dead.
361
00:13:33,044 --> 00:13:35,726
[sobbing]
362
00:13:36,696 --> 00:13:38,798
Okay, okay, how about this?
363
00:13:38,852 --> 00:13:41,995
How about you tell me why
you want to see this tape,
364
00:13:42,079 --> 00:13:45,270
and I'll tell you whether
it's worth killing me for it.
365
00:13:45,318 --> 00:13:47,420
The stuntman that died on that very day
366
00:13:47,504 --> 00:13:48,765
was my best friend,
367
00:13:48,794 --> 00:13:50,193
and they blamed me for his death.
368
00:13:50,227 --> 00:13:52,029
I think there might be
something on that tape
369
00:13:52,306 --> 00:13:53,401
that proves my innocence.
370
00:13:53,442 --> 00:13:55,143
All right, I can honestly say
371
00:13:56,189 --> 00:13:59,572
you'll want to see what's on this tape.
372
00:13:59,672 --> 00:14:02,855
Kill me, and it's yours.
373
00:14:02,955 --> 00:14:06,298
[Ingmar] What would you do
374
00:14:06,398 --> 00:14:07,533
to get what you wanted?
375
00:14:07,679 --> 00:14:08,861
[horn blares]
376
00:14:08,968 --> 00:14:10,829
A simple question
377
00:14:10,858 --> 00:14:13,741
with a sometimes deadly answer.
378
00:14:21,787 --> 00:14:23,788
[creaks]
379
00:14:27,314 --> 00:14:29,976
[snoring]
380
00:14:31,346 --> 00:14:33,548
[ominous music]
381
00:15:08,647 --> 00:15:10,829
I told you not to go off your meds.
382
00:15:11,095 --> 00:15:13,097
[screaming]
383
00:15:13,302 --> 00:15:15,244
[whimpering]
384
00:15:16,161 --> 00:15:18,163
You damn cowards!
385
00:15:20,401 --> 00:15:22,402
No!
386
00:15:24,287 --> 00:15:27,350
[Ingmar] I just want to say thank you.
387
00:15:27,403 --> 00:15:29,305
For what? I didn't do anything.
388
00:15:29,405 --> 00:15:32,027
If you hadn't screamed, I
would have killed him.
389
00:15:32,127 --> 00:15:33,789
Oh, there's a dog!
390
00:15:33,889 --> 00:15:35,110
I'm serious! I would...
391
00:15:35,210 --> 00:15:37,932
- Look! Stop!
- [brakes screech]
392
00:15:38,653 --> 00:15:40,715
- Ah.
- [music playing on stereo]
393
00:15:41,816 --> 00:15:43,153
Oh, shit!
394
00:15:43,274 --> 00:15:45,296
Almost killed a dog.
395
00:15:45,856 --> 00:15:47,101
That's it!
396
00:15:47,334 --> 00:15:48,755
We'll kill a dog!
397
00:15:48,990 --> 00:15:51,301
What do you mean we'll kill a dog?
398
00:15:51,460 --> 00:15:53,442
We kill a dog, and we...
399
00:15:53,583 --> 00:15:54,964
we plant something in it,
400
00:15:55,206 --> 00:15:57,100
something that doesn't burn.
401
00:15:57,202 --> 00:16:02,307
[laughs] And if... and if it's
not there when it's cremated,
402
00:16:02,415 --> 00:16:03,876
we know they're cheating.
403
00:16:03,984 --> 00:16:07,648
That's a really fucked-up idea,
404
00:16:07,784 --> 00:16:09,749
but, actually, a pretty good one.
405
00:16:09,839 --> 00:16:13,923
Yeah. Maybe going off my meds
is finally starting to pay off.
406
00:16:13,982 --> 00:16:15,764
I don't think we even have to kill it.
407
00:16:16,182 --> 00:16:17,845
Look at that poor bastard.
408
00:16:17,959 --> 00:16:19,525
We can just take it back to the office
409
00:16:19,548 --> 00:16:20,970
and wait for it to die.
410
00:16:21,229 --> 00:16:23,230
Yeah?
411
00:16:27,231 --> 00:16:29,232
I think she's already dead.
412
00:16:32,806 --> 00:16:34,449
[whines]
413
00:16:34,576 --> 00:16:36,965
- No, I'm still alive.
- Heck.
414
00:16:37,510 --> 00:16:40,629
Come on. Close eyes.
415
00:16:41,358 --> 00:16:42,786
Let it happen.
416
00:16:43,602 --> 00:16:46,832
Go to your eternal home in heaven.
417
00:16:49,033 --> 00:16:50,614
I do it.
418
00:16:50,675 --> 00:16:52,297
I kill dog.
419
00:16:52,404 --> 00:16:54,546
Then maybe you make me assistant.
420
00:16:54,670 --> 00:16:55,911
You want to be our assistant?
421
00:16:55,999 --> 00:16:59,642
Yeah. And I prove you how much... now.
422
00:17:01,772 --> 00:17:06,456
[speaking foreign language]
423
00:17:07,735 --> 00:17:09,116
Oh, fuck!
424
00:17:09,179 --> 00:17:11,361
Shit! Fuck!
425
00:17:11,421 --> 00:17:13,283
I make terrible assistant!
426
00:17:13,379 --> 00:17:15,380
Terrible!
427
00:17:18,589 --> 00:17:21,732
But...But...
428
00:17:21,788 --> 00:17:24,341
No no no...
429
00:17:24,473 --> 00:17:28,693
- Speed. Go to sleep.
- Just let it happen.
430
00:17:29,175 --> 00:17:30,957
[Ingmar] The dog didn't fall
431
00:17:31,025 --> 00:17:33,688
into its eternal sleep that night.
432
00:17:33,804 --> 00:17:36,094
Actually, it didn't sleep at all.
433
00:17:36,171 --> 00:17:37,913
- [dog howling]
- It howled.
434
00:17:38,037 --> 00:17:39,498
Okay. Okay, okay.
435
00:17:39,574 --> 00:17:41,371
Can you please stop howling?
436
00:17:41,462 --> 00:17:43,003
I need to sleep.
437
00:17:43,103 --> 00:17:45,205
- [howling]
- Okay?
438
00:17:45,305 --> 00:17:47,768
He lonely.
439
00:17:47,934 --> 00:17:50,316
What old dogs do when they lonely,
440
00:17:50,424 --> 00:17:51,870
they howl.
441
00:17:52,101 --> 00:17:54,564
How can he be lonely
when I'm here with him?
442
00:17:54,664 --> 00:17:55,645
Not enough.
443
00:17:55,745 --> 00:17:58,407
He want connection, like this.
444
00:17:58,507 --> 00:18:00,489
[baby voice] Yeah.
445
00:18:00,589 --> 00:18:03,111
[speaking foreign language]
446
00:18:06,794 --> 00:18:08,736
Gee.
447
00:18:08,836 --> 00:18:11,659
- You see?
- Yeah, that's good.
448
00:18:11,759 --> 00:18:13,628
Very good, dog. You dirty
449
00:18:13,725 --> 00:18:15,846
You so dirty. Oh.
450
00:18:15,977 --> 00:18:17,079
Thank you, Sun.
451
00:18:17,163 --> 00:18:18,944
I need you here. Bah bah bah bah bah.
452
00:18:19,013 --> 00:18:20,515
[laughing]
453
00:18:21,488 --> 00:18:23,363
Sorry about before,
454
00:18:23,479 --> 00:18:25,741
being total freakin' bitch witch.
455
00:18:25,888 --> 00:18:28,636
Well, if you wanted to be our assistant,
456
00:18:28,774 --> 00:18:30,242
you could just say so.
457
00:18:30,314 --> 00:18:32,055
I no want to be your assistant.
458
00:18:32,416 --> 00:18:35,779
I just want you ask.
459
00:18:37,438 --> 00:18:39,580
Okay, I get it.
460
00:18:39,650 --> 00:18:41,383
Connection, huh?
461
00:18:41,494 --> 00:18:44,637
Yeah, connection.
462
00:18:44,843 --> 00:18:45,981
But not in sexy way.
463
00:18:46,082 --> 00:18:47,171
Oh, no, no, no, no,
464
00:18:47,236 --> 00:18:49,098
that's not what I was thinking.
465
00:18:49,285 --> 00:18:52,588
Good. Because you can't
handle what I got.
466
00:18:53,093 --> 00:18:55,095
Good night.
467
00:18:56,076 --> 00:18:57,163
Wow.
468
00:18:57,376 --> 00:18:59,378
You're quiet now, pal.
469
00:19:02,385 --> 00:19:03,441
[Ingmar] Connection.
470
00:19:03,545 --> 00:19:06,248
Maybe that's what we're all looking for.
471
00:19:06,483 --> 00:19:08,865
Now what, scaredy cats?
472
00:19:09,068 --> 00:19:10,770
You couldn't even help an old...
473
00:19:10,846 --> 00:19:12,848
[Ingmar] Including Oscar.
474
00:19:15,556 --> 00:19:17,939
Who is this?
475
00:19:18,039 --> 00:19:19,971
Hello, pretty girl.
476
00:19:20,062 --> 00:19:21,898
Hi there.
477
00:19:22,202 --> 00:19:24,491
Oh, you're so sweet. Can I hold her?
478
00:19:24,583 --> 00:19:26,444
Yeah. You know what?
479
00:19:26,701 --> 00:19:28,363
You can keep her.
480
00:19:28,950 --> 00:19:30,322
[Ingmar] Being with someone
481
00:19:30,396 --> 00:19:33,138
could be better than being by yourself.
482
00:19:33,253 --> 00:19:34,232
Thank you.
483
00:19:34,333 --> 00:19:36,595
But, unfortunately, without the dog,
484
00:19:36,695 --> 00:19:38,513
we had no animal to burn,
485
00:19:38,675 --> 00:19:41,057
so how could we prove
the pet cemetery owner
486
00:19:41,118 --> 00:19:42,340
was a criminal?
487
00:19:42,503 --> 00:19:45,030
Without a dog, we have
to start all over again.
488
00:19:45,110 --> 00:19:48,221
We must not give up. I am fully
confident that he is a fraud.
489
00:19:48,262 --> 00:19:51,604
We just need to come up with a cunning way to prove it.
490
00:19:51,718 --> 00:19:56,472
Sly way. I think I have an idea.
491
00:19:57,452 --> 00:19:59,314
No, no, it's hot like this!
492
00:19:59,382 --> 00:20:01,003
Last chance!
493
00:20:01,103 --> 00:20:03,064
Wait! [screaming]
494
00:20:03,215 --> 00:20:04,406
Oh, get me back!
495
00:20:04,529 --> 00:20:05,287
[click]
496
00:20:05,542 --> 00:20:07,512
I... I did it. I'm guilty.
497
00:20:07,565 --> 00:20:09,867
I did everything that I'm accused of,
498
00:20:10,237 --> 00:20:13,540
and I regret that for a long time,
499
00:20:13,632 --> 00:20:17,803
I cremated my customers'
beloved pets in large groups.
500
00:20:17,951 --> 00:20:19,953
[sobbing]
501
00:20:23,119 --> 00:20:25,149
Thank you for this evidence.
502
00:20:25,288 --> 00:20:27,470
It should bring justice to the market,
503
00:20:27,601 --> 00:20:30,984
and, uh, it could definitely
put Carl behind bars.
504
00:20:31,045 --> 00:20:34,084
Course, it also could
be used as a motivation
505
00:20:34,142 --> 00:20:36,364
for a business agreement.
506
00:20:36,393 --> 00:20:38,575
Partnership, if you will.
507
00:20:38,680 --> 00:20:40,662
I mean, let's face it,
508
00:20:40,762 --> 00:20:44,903
Carl made a shitload of money
cremating pets in large groups.
509
00:20:45,339 --> 00:20:47,561
So this is a perfect reason for Carl
510
00:20:48,288 --> 00:20:51,431
to give me 80% of his business.
511
00:20:51,531 --> 00:20:55,443
What... What about all your
talk about morality and
512
00:20:55,520 --> 00:20:56,501
ethics?
513
00:20:56,553 --> 00:20:57,714
I believe in those things.
514
00:20:57,882 --> 00:21:00,745
For instance, I believe in the ethics
515
00:21:00,884 --> 00:21:02,786
of client confidentiality,
516
00:21:02,879 --> 00:21:03,738
strongly.
517
00:21:03,818 --> 00:21:05,119
So strongly, in fact,
518
00:21:05,355 --> 00:21:07,417
that if I ever hear
519
00:21:07,525 --> 00:21:09,947
that you have told anyone
about this conversation,
520
00:21:10,054 --> 00:21:12,036
well, let's face it,
521
00:21:12,112 --> 00:21:15,544
little doggies won't be the
only thing I'm cremating.
522
00:21:16,564 --> 00:21:18,966
Am I clear?
523
00:21:23,130 --> 00:21:26,032
[Ingmar] With the case out of the way,
524
00:21:26,273 --> 00:21:30,357
it was time to watch the
tape Oscar gave us.
525
00:21:35,969 --> 00:21:39,944
[man shouting indistinctly]
526
00:21:41,473 --> 00:21:44,708
- Are you okay?
- Aha.
527
00:21:46,113 --> 00:21:47,621
Simply disgusting memories.
528
00:21:49,199 --> 00:21:52,589
- It is he?
- Yes.
529
00:21:53,880 --> 00:21:57,777
Is this his girl you talked to?
We have to show her the record.
530
00:21:58,476 --> 00:22:02,230
This will be for her a memory of the last kiss.
531
00:22:03,104 --> 00:22:05,723
I can not believe this.
532
00:22:06,658 --> 00:22:09,967
- It's not his girlfriend.
- What?
533
00:22:10,079 --> 00:22:11,600
[Ingmar] That woman was the girlfriend
534
00:22:11,679 --> 00:22:15,515
of a low-level Russian
mobster named Dimitri.
535
00:22:16,379 --> 00:22:19,682
He was a total psychopath.
536
00:22:19,830 --> 00:22:22,312
At that point, I was convinced
537
00:22:22,371 --> 00:22:25,754
it wasn't the stunt that had killed Tex.
538
00:22:25,799 --> 00:22:27,181
It was Dimitri.
539
00:22:27,264 --> 00:22:29,631
[tires screech, crash]
540
00:22:29,698 --> 00:22:33,181
And now all I needed to do was prove it.
541
00:22:38,899 --> 00:22:41,461
[theme music]
542
00:22:41,825 --> 00:22:46,896
- Synced & Corrected by Dragoniod -
www.addic7ed.com
543
00:22:53,721 --> 00:22:54,426
[Axel] No, you were right.
544
00:22:54,465 --> 00:22:56,527
Going off my meds was a huge mistake.
545
00:22:56,635 --> 00:22:58,937
Please, just give me
my prescription back.
546
00:22:59,037 --> 00:23:00,450
I can't do that.
547
00:23:00,571 --> 00:23:01,776
No, you have to.
548
00:23:02,041 --> 00:23:03,405
I rea... I can't do this.
549
00:23:03,477 --> 00:23:05,562
[Maude] I'm sorry, Axel,
but I really can't.
550
00:23:05,850 --> 00:23:07,234
Why not?
551
00:23:07,321 --> 00:23:09,970
Because we're not actually
having this conversation.
552
00:23:10,155 --> 00:23:12,057
- We're not?
- How could we be?
553
00:23:12,118 --> 00:23:13,805
You're not even talking into a phone.
554
00:23:13,846 --> 00:23:15,510
[Axel] Then what am I talking into?
555
00:23:15,626 --> 00:23:17,568
- A bra.
- A bra?
556
00:23:18,193 --> 00:23:21,016
Is... [sighs]
557
00:23:21,417 --> 00:23:23,257
- [click]
- Don't you hang up on me!
558
00:23:23,335 --> 00:23:26,217
[theme music]
559
00:23:26,267 --> 00:23:30,817
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