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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:04,778 --> 00:00:08,563 [Ingmar] Hollywood. Some people don't like it, 2 00:00:08,663 --> 00:00:10,876 because they think everything's fake, 3 00:00:10,998 --> 00:00:12,700 but I never had a problem with that. 4 00:00:12,776 --> 00:00:15,200 I couldn't... I was a stuntman, 5 00:00:15,324 --> 00:00:18,020 and my job was to make fake look real. 6 00:00:18,084 --> 00:00:19,929 (motor revving) 7 00:00:19,998 --> 00:00:20,980 Okay, Ingmar. 8 00:00:21,040 --> 00:00:22,181 [Ingmar] Right on! 9 00:00:22,242 --> 00:00:23,304 How does it look? 10 00:00:23,324 --> 00:00:25,327 Let's rock 'n' roll! 11 00:00:27,276 --> 00:00:29,178 Yeah. Get some! 12 00:00:29,278 --> 00:00:32,302 I'm gonna show them this is how real action's done. 13 00:00:32,402 --> 00:00:34,192 - B camera slate! - Back! Get back! We're about to start! 14 00:00:34,229 --> 00:00:38,254 Unfortunately, there are times when fake becomes real. 15 00:00:38,861 --> 00:00:40,283 Too real. 16 00:00:40,296 --> 00:00:42,419 And action! 17 00:00:42,512 --> 00:00:44,815 [tires squeal] 18 00:00:45,042 --> 00:00:45,983 [crashing] 19 00:00:46,138 --> 00:00:47,720 [Ingmar] No! No! 20 00:00:47,797 --> 00:00:52,323 - [siren wailing] - [shouting] 21 00:00:55,993 --> 00:01:00,319 [car revving on video] 22 00:01:04,574 --> 00:01:07,698 - What are you doing? - I'm watching Bloodstream 2. 23 00:01:08,484 --> 00:01:10,595 What the Hell? 24 00:01:11,833 --> 00:01:13,885 - Don't watch it. - Why do you quit. 25 00:01:13,940 --> 00:01:16,559 It's a bad idea to bring my past. 26 00:01:16,784 --> 00:01:18,805 Do you know what's stupid? 27 00:01:19,166 --> 00:01:23,975 To listen to the same tape in the car over and over because it is stuck. 28 00:01:24,181 --> 00:01:26,809 Seeing "Black Curse 2" is a good idea, 29 00:01:26,815 --> 00:01:29,927 because you want to know how Tex died. 30 00:01:30,097 --> 00:01:33,387 You need "closure". 31 00:01:33,481 --> 00:01:35,984 Hey! Don't you ever use the "C" word on me, 32 00:01:36,099 --> 00:01:38,202 ever again, you understand? 33 00:01:38,405 --> 00:01:40,708 Are you the dicks? 34 00:01:40,912 --> 00:01:45,503 We sure are. Um... and you... 35 00:01:45,652 --> 00:01:48,156 must be Taylor Slow. 36 00:01:48,454 --> 00:01:50,348 That would be correct, sir. 37 00:01:50,555 --> 00:01:52,858 I'm... I'm sorry, this may sound crazy, 38 00:01:52,982 --> 00:01:54,845 but I feel like I know you, 39 00:01:55,184 --> 00:01:56,926 like we've met before? 40 00:01:57,160 --> 00:01:59,101 Maybe in a past life 41 00:01:59,191 --> 00:02:00,653 or some sort of spiritual plane. 42 00:02:00,911 --> 00:02:04,035 I make porn. That's probably where you've seen me. 43 00:02:04,204 --> 00:02:06,026 Oh, right! Yes. 44 00:02:06,166 --> 00:02:08,069 Oh, I'm sorry, I didn't recognize you 45 00:02:08,129 --> 00:02:10,151 with your... clothes on. 46 00:02:11,203 --> 00:02:13,387 [chuckles] So, how can we help you? 47 00:02:13,516 --> 00:02:16,676 Well, someone is stalking me, and I'd like you to find them 48 00:02:16,742 --> 00:02:18,845 so I can legally ask them to stop. 49 00:02:19,008 --> 00:02:20,630 Consider it done. 50 00:02:20,826 --> 00:02:23,010 Great. Your competitor, 51 00:02:23,047 --> 00:02:25,181 uh, Jane McKinney, said it would take days. 52 00:02:25,284 --> 00:02:26,527 - Jane who? - [knocking] 53 00:02:26,568 --> 00:02:30,673 Oh, my God! Taylor? Taylor Slow? 54 00:02:30,789 --> 00:02:33,613 Taylor Slow, is that really you? 55 00:02:33,697 --> 00:02:36,160 - Yeah. - [laughs] Ohh! 56 00:02:36,205 --> 00:02:38,127 Oh! Oh... 57 00:02:38,218 --> 00:02:40,641 I thought so! I'm a huge fan! 58 00:02:41,026 --> 00:02:41,768 Wow, thanks. 59 00:02:42,209 --> 00:02:43,511 You're so beautiful. 60 00:02:43,558 --> 00:02:44,699 Can we take a picture? 61 00:02:44,767 --> 00:02:46,069 - Sure. - Your selfie. 62 00:02:46,360 --> 00:02:47,622 Give me phone. 63 00:02:47,667 --> 00:02:49,980 Sun, can you leave us alone for a moment? 64 00:02:50,034 --> 00:02:51,376 Give me phone now! 65 00:02:51,770 --> 00:02:53,552 - Your telephone? - Oh, yeah. 66 00:02:53,881 --> 00:02:55,188 We take a picture. 67 00:02:55,385 --> 00:02:57,588 ? 68 00:02:57,799 --> 00:03:01,292 Swedish Dicks 1x05 "Episode 5" Sep 16, 2016 69 00:03:01,377 --> 00:03:05,938 - Synced & Corrected by Dragoniod - www.addic7ed.com 70 00:03:06,337 --> 00:03:10,901 ? 71 00:03:26,628 --> 00:03:29,159 Okay, Dad, you know how I've always had 72 00:03:29,165 --> 00:03:31,010 a problem committing in relationships? 73 00:03:31,155 --> 00:03:32,256 Yeah, yeah. 74 00:03:32,411 --> 00:03:34,989 Well, I think that might be changing, 75 00:03:35,049 --> 00:03:37,501 because I think I've found somebody 76 00:03:37,594 --> 00:03:41,138 that I can actually connect with, you know? 77 00:03:41,182 --> 00:03:45,608 His name's Steve, and, well, I really like hanging out with him. 78 00:03:45,693 --> 00:03:47,276 Okay, so what's the problem? 79 00:03:47,335 --> 00:03:49,778 The problem is that... 80 00:03:49,861 --> 00:03:52,565 he just kind of seems too good to be true. 81 00:03:52,926 --> 00:03:54,692 - So... - Yes? 82 00:03:54,886 --> 00:03:59,358 I... I want you to do, 83 00:03:59,429 --> 00:04:00,589 just, like, a small, 84 00:04:00,649 --> 00:04:03,493 like a small background check on him. 85 00:04:04,892 --> 00:04:09,038 I'll see what I can dig up on him. 86 00:04:09,321 --> 00:04:12,064 Thanks for coming to me with this. 87 00:04:12,132 --> 00:04:13,474 Means a lot. 88 00:04:13,645 --> 00:04:15,176 Yeah, and those guys at McKinney would've 89 00:04:15,246 --> 00:04:17,149 charged me a fortune, so... Ugh. 90 00:04:17,480 --> 00:04:19,483 All right, thanks, Dad! Bye! 91 00:04:21,599 --> 00:04:24,883 McKinney? You talked to McKinney? 92 00:04:26,776 --> 00:04:28,758 I usually hated it when someone 93 00:04:29,327 --> 00:04:31,791 mentioned Jane McKinney's name, 94 00:04:31,891 --> 00:04:36,256 but this time it actually gave me an idea. 95 00:04:38,070 --> 00:04:39,693 Oh! Oh, my God! 96 00:04:40,452 --> 00:04:41,927 What's that disgusting smell? 97 00:04:42,084 --> 00:04:43,265 Piss of bird. 98 00:04:43,444 --> 00:04:45,347 Piss of bird? 99 00:04:45,559 --> 00:04:47,421 Do birds actually pee? 100 00:04:47,505 --> 00:04:49,648 Yes! In their poop. 101 00:04:49,684 --> 00:04:52,508 W-Why are you spreading it over the office? 102 00:04:52,583 --> 00:04:53,925 - Move! Move! - No... 103 00:04:54,018 --> 00:04:56,021 Yeah, go. 104 00:04:56,984 --> 00:04:59,007 It's ancient North Korean remedy 105 00:04:59,044 --> 00:05:00,506 to get rid of bad spirit. 106 00:05:00,940 --> 00:05:02,599 You're saying there's a bad spirit in there? 107 00:05:02,644 --> 00:05:04,747 Yes! I was there earlier, 108 00:05:05,046 --> 00:05:08,130 and felt bad spirit... 109 00:05:10,875 --> 00:05:12,878 surging through my body... 110 00:05:14,533 --> 00:05:17,317 almost bringing me to fully body orgasm! 111 00:05:17,402 --> 00:05:20,886 [gasping] 112 00:05:22,760 --> 00:05:24,762 [gasps] 113 00:05:24,997 --> 00:05:25,978 [gasps] 114 00:05:26,236 --> 00:05:28,239 [gasps] 115 00:05:32,105 --> 00:05:33,523 That's when I seek remedy 116 00:05:33,560 --> 00:05:35,563 and look for piss of bird. 117 00:05:36,312 --> 00:05:39,697 I think spirit come from past, 118 00:05:40,010 --> 00:05:41,351 Ingmar's past. 119 00:05:41,483 --> 00:05:43,732 Well, you know what? 120 00:05:43,938 --> 00:05:45,981 I've been forcing Ingmar to look back on his past. 121 00:05:46,061 --> 00:05:47,843 Not good to mess with past. 122 00:05:47,943 --> 00:05:49,165 Oh, I disagree. 123 00:05:49,265 --> 00:05:50,527 Ingmar needs closure. 124 00:05:50,627 --> 00:05:54,171 Oh, like a female character on Sex and the Shitty. 125 00:05:54,271 --> 00:05:55,629 It's "City," not "Shitty." 126 00:05:55,807 --> 00:05:58,391 Are you sure? Seems shitty to me. 127 00:05:58,578 --> 00:05:59,960 Okay, listen. 128 00:06:00,005 --> 00:06:01,727 Ingmar wants me to go over to McKinney's office 129 00:06:01,823 --> 00:06:03,966 - and pretend to want to work for them. - Why? 130 00:06:04,010 --> 00:06:05,080 So I can steal some codes they have 131 00:06:05,200 --> 00:06:06,882 that will help us triangulate and locate 132 00:06:06,947 --> 00:06:09,130 whoever's been stalking Ms. Slow, so... 133 00:06:09,301 --> 00:06:11,244 do you have any advice on how I can fool them 134 00:06:11,296 --> 00:06:12,667 into believing I really want to work for them? 135 00:06:12,715 --> 00:06:15,479 - Ow! - [dings] 136 00:06:20,643 --> 00:06:23,273 Tell McKinney Ingmar abused you. 137 00:06:23,498 --> 00:06:25,521 Here and here. 138 00:06:25,708 --> 00:06:27,711 [dings] 139 00:06:35,240 --> 00:06:37,804 [moaning] 140 00:06:39,628 --> 00:06:41,851 [cell phone ringing] 141 00:06:41,935 --> 00:06:44,638 - No. - No, it might be work. 142 00:06:45,166 --> 00:06:47,870 Oh, yeah, it's work. Sorry. 143 00:06:48,010 --> 00:06:49,197 Hey, work, what's up? 144 00:06:49,304 --> 00:06:50,777 Is he with you? 145 00:06:50,816 --> 00:06:52,959 That would be an affirmative. 146 00:06:53,178 --> 00:06:54,880 I have some bad news, 147 00:06:54,948 --> 00:06:56,811 so maybe we should talk later. 148 00:06:56,832 --> 00:06:58,054 No, now's a perfect time. 149 00:06:58,281 --> 00:07:01,545 Okay. Steve's married. 150 00:07:01,915 --> 00:07:04,699 What? Are you sure? 151 00:07:04,877 --> 00:07:07,260 Yeah. Yeah. 152 00:07:07,298 --> 00:07:08,343 Hold on a second, work. 153 00:07:08,496 --> 00:07:09,519 [groans] 154 00:07:09,897 --> 00:07:11,560 [gasping] 155 00:07:12,201 --> 00:07:13,623 Sarah, get back on the phone. 156 00:07:13,755 --> 00:07:16,517 - What? - Well, I'm sorry, I lied. 157 00:07:16,650 --> 00:07:17,751 Wait, what? 158 00:07:18,739 --> 00:07:21,060 Steve is not married. 159 00:07:21,122 --> 00:07:22,890 You're fired. I'm calling McKinney. 160 00:07:22,980 --> 00:07:24,522 Why did you hit me in the nuts? 161 00:07:24,772 --> 00:07:26,995 I'm sorry. Are you okay? 162 00:07:27,122 --> 00:07:31,949 No. Will you kiss it and make it feel better? 163 00:07:32,049 --> 00:07:37,100 - What? - Actually, I would love to do that. 164 00:07:37,299 --> 00:07:39,042 Oh, no, no, no, no. 165 00:07:39,110 --> 00:07:40,608 No, no, no, no, no. 166 00:07:40,685 --> 00:07:42,588 Sarah? No! 167 00:07:42,759 --> 00:07:45,903 [sighs] 168 00:07:46,107 --> 00:07:48,210 [cell phone rings] 169 00:07:48,278 --> 00:07:50,439 There are much, much better ways to apologize 170 00:07:50,502 --> 00:07:53,406 than to give somebody oral sex. 171 00:07:53,498 --> 00:07:55,120 Excuse me? 172 00:07:55,196 --> 00:07:58,941 Oh! Hello, Ms. Slow! 173 00:07:59,002 --> 00:08:02,507 I'm sorry, those last words were meant for my daughter. 174 00:08:02,702 --> 00:08:04,604 How can I help you? 175 00:08:04,684 --> 00:08:08,669 I was just wondering if you've made any progress with my stalker. 176 00:08:08,729 --> 00:08:13,195 Oh, yeah. My associate is working on the case as we speak. 177 00:08:13,303 --> 00:08:15,846 So, let me get this straight. 178 00:08:15,906 --> 00:08:20,572 You want to leave Ingmar and come and play with the big dogs? 179 00:08:20,680 --> 00:08:21,596 That's right. 180 00:08:21,641 --> 00:08:23,103 Then let's hear it. 181 00:08:23,596 --> 00:08:24,834 Excuse me? 182 00:08:24,857 --> 00:08:28,181 Howl. Like a big dog. 183 00:08:29,611 --> 00:08:31,353 Go ahead. Do it. 184 00:08:31,453 --> 00:08:33,516 [chuckles] 185 00:08:33,616 --> 00:08:37,521 Oh. [Howls] 186 00:08:37,621 --> 00:08:40,045 Sounds like a neutered puppy. 187 00:08:40,145 --> 00:08:43,529 [chuckles] Well, yeah, sure, I... 188 00:08:43,629 --> 00:08:47,014 [howls] 189 00:08:47,114 --> 00:08:49,457 No, fuck, I can... Sorry, go deeper. 190 00:08:49,557 --> 00:08:54,203 [growling] 191 00:08:55,988 --> 00:08:57,931 I need mad dog. 192 00:08:57,976 --> 00:09:01,460 [growling] 193 00:09:03,936 --> 00:09:06,479 Now you're howling like a big dog. 194 00:09:06,604 --> 00:09:08,827 I'm quite happy with that last one. 195 00:09:09,037 --> 00:09:11,621 I could see you working here. 196 00:09:11,697 --> 00:09:12,659 Really? 197 00:09:12,698 --> 00:09:16,042 We could use some more female energy around the place. 198 00:09:17,134 --> 00:09:19,798 Well, great. 199 00:09:19,914 --> 00:09:23,897 I'd love to have a quick tour around the office. 200 00:09:24,052 --> 00:09:25,955 You playing me? 201 00:09:26,261 --> 00:09:29,725 No! No, of course not. 202 00:09:29,785 --> 00:09:33,350 The only thing I'm playing is with the big dogs. 203 00:09:36,332 --> 00:09:38,335 Woof! 204 00:09:40,583 --> 00:09:43,367 [phone ringing] 205 00:09:43,641 --> 00:09:46,545 [phone ringing] 206 00:09:46,756 --> 00:09:50,721 - How are you? - Jane does not think I'm leaving you. 207 00:09:50,914 --> 00:09:53,897 She wants a lie detection test. 208 00:09:54,131 --> 00:09:58,256 I have cheated the machines hundreds of times. Thumbtacks. 209 00:09:58,933 --> 00:10:00,385 Thumbtacks? 210 00:10:00,613 --> 00:10:02,420 Put the thumbtacks in the right shoe 211 00:10:02,426 --> 00:10:05,266 and when they start asking questions 212 00:10:05,346 --> 00:10:07,227 Then you push your foot down. 213 00:10:07,291 --> 00:10:12,972 And the extreme pain that your body signals will confuse the test. 214 00:10:13,375 --> 00:10:16,042 - Extreme pain? - Exactly. 215 00:10:23,417 --> 00:10:25,163 I have to go. 216 00:10:44,062 --> 00:10:45,764 To establish a baseline, 217 00:10:45,972 --> 00:10:48,555 we'll begin by asking questions we know to be true. 218 00:10:48,655 --> 00:10:50,678 What's your name? 219 00:10:50,778 --> 00:10:54,463 My name is ack! Axel. 220 00:10:56,396 --> 00:10:58,499 [beeping] 221 00:10:58,582 --> 00:11:01,065 Were you born in Sweden? 222 00:11:03,933 --> 00:11:05,194 Oh, yes. 223 00:11:05,200 --> 00:11:08,144 [beeping] 224 00:11:08,243 --> 00:11:10,847 Do you want to work for Jane McKinney? 225 00:11:13,114 --> 00:11:14,095 Yes. 226 00:11:14,346 --> 00:11:15,808 This is a farce. 227 00:11:15,900 --> 00:11:17,666 It's obvious he's trying to trick the machine 228 00:11:17,716 --> 00:11:19,994 by putting a thumbtack in his shoe. 229 00:11:20,038 --> 00:11:21,580 No, oh, that's a lie. 230 00:11:21,759 --> 00:11:22,781 [beeping] 231 00:11:22,921 --> 00:11:24,423 Do you have a thumbtack 232 00:11:24,507 --> 00:11:25,368 in your shoe? 233 00:11:25,413 --> 00:11:26,681 - [strained] No. - Enough. 234 00:11:26,778 --> 00:11:28,921 Take the thumbtack out of your shoe. 235 00:11:28,973 --> 00:11:30,902 - What thumbtack? - This thumbtack. 236 00:11:30,967 --> 00:11:33,488 Ow! Ow! Aah! 237 00:11:33,526 --> 00:11:36,510 - [beeping] - [groaning] 238 00:11:37,856 --> 00:11:40,196 [Ingmar] Lucky for Axel, he had the smarts 239 00:11:40,256 --> 00:11:41,999 to come up with a backup plan. 240 00:11:42,083 --> 00:11:45,888 [groaning] 241 00:11:49,957 --> 00:11:51,499 Get off my foot! 242 00:11:51,623 --> 00:11:53,566 - [computer beeps] - [continued groans] 243 00:11:54,650 --> 00:11:55,885 Hey, what do you think you're doing? 244 00:11:55,932 --> 00:11:58,996 Luckily for Sun, she also had a backup plan. 245 00:11:59,097 --> 00:12:00,279 Aah... 246 00:12:00,307 --> 00:12:01,288 [whoosh] 247 00:12:01,809 --> 00:12:06,776 - [screaming] - [screaming] 248 00:12:17,310 --> 00:12:19,313 [phone ringing] 249 00:12:20,426 --> 00:12:22,759 - Hey. - Hey, how's the background check going? 250 00:12:22,880 --> 00:12:23,811 Working on it. 251 00:12:23,908 --> 00:12:26,331 I'm in his home as we speak. 252 00:12:26,422 --> 00:12:28,085 Wait, what? You're in his house? 253 00:12:28,170 --> 00:12:29,271 Well, you wanted me 254 00:12:29,315 --> 00:12:31,498 to do a proper background check, right? 255 00:12:31,591 --> 00:12:34,455 Yes, meaning you would do some light surveillance 256 00:12:34,571 --> 00:12:36,346 and a lot of online checking to make sure 257 00:12:36,415 --> 00:12:38,598 he is who he says he is, not break into his house. 258 00:12:38,634 --> 00:12:40,216 I want you out of there now! 259 00:12:40,312 --> 00:12:43,109 - [door squeaking] - I can't. 260 00:12:43,154 --> 00:12:45,156 Why not? 261 00:12:46,840 --> 00:12:48,742 Because he just got back home. 262 00:12:48,833 --> 00:12:51,096 - What? - Gotta hang up. 263 00:12:51,292 --> 00:12:53,295 [beep] 264 00:12:56,277 --> 00:12:58,280 Hi! 265 00:13:00,567 --> 00:13:02,470 You're Ingmar. 266 00:13:02,594 --> 00:13:04,190 Sarah's father, right? 267 00:13:04,234 --> 00:13:06,136 Right! That's me. 268 00:13:06,276 --> 00:13:09,140 What are you doing in my house? 269 00:13:09,160 --> 00:13:11,263 Wait, let me guess. 270 00:13:11,807 --> 00:13:13,870 Your wonderful and beautiful daughter 271 00:13:13,930 --> 00:13:15,488 asked you to do a background check on me. 272 00:13:15,594 --> 00:13:18,738 Yes, but not because she thought 273 00:13:18,790 --> 00:13:20,429 that there was something wrong with you. 274 00:13:20,484 --> 00:13:24,108 The opposite. She thought, yeah, you were too good to be true. 275 00:13:24,708 --> 00:13:27,953 [chuckles] 276 00:13:32,603 --> 00:13:34,365 Now, let me see what I can do. 277 00:13:34,529 --> 00:13:36,993 Done. I found address. 278 00:13:37,102 --> 00:13:39,104 It's a motel. 279 00:13:40,414 --> 00:13:42,196 Oh, good. 280 00:13:42,280 --> 00:13:44,423 Yeah. Right. 281 00:13:44,534 --> 00:13:46,537 Good teamwork. 282 00:13:47,538 --> 00:13:48,840 She really said that, 283 00:13:48,940 --> 00:13:51,203 that I was too good to be true? 284 00:13:51,303 --> 00:13:53,166 Word for word. 285 00:13:53,266 --> 00:13:55,168 That is so funny. 286 00:13:55,268 --> 00:13:57,611 I felt the exact same way about Sarah. 287 00:13:57,711 --> 00:14:00,120 That's why I had somebody do a background check on her. 288 00:14:00,183 --> 00:14:02,406 That's how I know who you are. 289 00:14:02,607 --> 00:14:04,230 No! 290 00:14:04,308 --> 00:14:06,250 - Yes. - Yes. 291 00:14:06,380 --> 00:14:07,770 Isn't that funny? 292 00:14:07,818 --> 00:14:10,855 That is actually very funny. 293 00:14:10,978 --> 00:14:12,240 - Cheers. - Oh, yes. 294 00:14:12,490 --> 00:14:13,872 Hey, I'll tell you what. 295 00:14:14,099 --> 00:14:17,363 You're here to see who I am, so take a look around. 296 00:14:17,423 --> 00:14:19,498 Just don't go in the cellar. I got somebody tied up in there. 297 00:14:19,544 --> 00:14:22,127 [laughs] 298 00:14:22,893 --> 00:14:25,757 You're funny! 299 00:14:25,810 --> 00:14:27,793 [laughter on recording] 300 00:14:27,901 --> 00:14:29,603 Wait, wait, wait. 301 00:14:29,703 --> 00:14:32,166 [laughing] 302 00:14:32,424 --> 00:14:33,606 I love it! 303 00:14:33,643 --> 00:14:35,211 Why would you film yourself laughing? 304 00:14:35,330 --> 00:14:37,991 It just felt like the right thing to do. 305 00:14:38,175 --> 00:14:39,036 I mean... 306 00:14:39,191 --> 00:14:41,214 It feels like the weird thing to do. 307 00:14:41,275 --> 00:14:42,420 It's just funny! 308 00:14:42,469 --> 00:14:45,253 Come on, Axel, I know, I know. 309 00:14:45,298 --> 00:14:47,441 I can be rough around the edges. 310 00:14:47,502 --> 00:14:51,407 I mean, but let me tell you, I'm impressed. 311 00:14:51,459 --> 00:14:55,044 I mean, you put yourself through a lot of pain 312 00:14:55,120 --> 00:14:56,738 to get to those codes. 313 00:14:56,843 --> 00:14:58,545 That's good job, kiddo. 314 00:14:58,551 --> 00:14:59,318 Thank you. 315 00:14:59,347 --> 00:15:00,569 Yeah. 316 00:15:00,638 --> 00:15:02,661 Well, I'm really happy to hear you say that. 317 00:15:02,896 --> 00:15:04,825 Sometimes I could wonder if you really appreciate 318 00:15:04,862 --> 00:15:06,524 everything I do. I mean, you know, 319 00:15:06,561 --> 00:15:08,275 I remember when I first met you... 320 00:15:08,364 --> 00:15:10,567 Enough. Enough. Enough. 321 00:15:12,927 --> 00:15:15,230 This is it. 322 00:15:15,565 --> 00:15:17,788 That's the right address. 323 00:15:17,888 --> 00:15:21,152 Thanks to Axel, we finally found 324 00:15:21,252 --> 00:15:24,837 the location where Taylor's stalker was hiding out. 325 00:15:24,937 --> 00:15:28,382 It was time to close the case. 326 00:15:30,533 --> 00:15:36,380 We do not know who it is. It can be a psychopath. Be prepared. 327 00:15:37,355 --> 00:15:39,887 - I'm knocking on... - Freeze 328 00:15:39,996 --> 00:15:41,998 [exclaims] 329 00:15:42,217 --> 00:15:44,160 Taylor? 330 00:15:44,324 --> 00:15:45,786 What are you doing here? 331 00:15:45,877 --> 00:15:47,299 I'm not Taylor. 332 00:15:47,368 --> 00:15:48,670 You look exactly like her. 333 00:15:48,738 --> 00:15:51,842 I know, and it's a huge problem. 334 00:15:51,902 --> 00:15:54,285 Please, come in. 335 00:15:55,258 --> 00:15:57,246 Oh, you don't have to take off your shoes. 336 00:15:57,315 --> 00:15:58,536 Well, he has to. 337 00:15:58,928 --> 00:16:01,512 I'm Swedish. 338 00:16:01,709 --> 00:16:03,748 Please understand. I'm not stalking Taylor. 339 00:16:03,771 --> 00:16:05,233 I'm just calling her. 340 00:16:05,563 --> 00:16:08,387 Okay, and what do you want to talk to her about? 341 00:16:08,470 --> 00:16:10,893 I just want to ask her to make a video with me. 342 00:16:10,969 --> 00:16:12,872 A... sex video? 343 00:16:12,917 --> 00:16:15,340 No! Lord, no, just a normal video 344 00:16:15,417 --> 00:16:17,520 so I can convince the people back home 345 00:16:17,587 --> 00:16:19,203 in Kansas that we're not the same person. 346 00:16:19,235 --> 00:16:23,840 Oh, because the people, they thing you're making sex videos? 347 00:16:23,956 --> 00:16:27,531 Yes, and it's ruining my life. 348 00:16:27,604 --> 00:16:29,679 Strange men coming up to me constantly 349 00:16:29,734 --> 00:16:31,034 and saying disgusting things to me? 350 00:16:31,090 --> 00:16:32,248 I can't keep a job because my bosses 351 00:16:32,289 --> 00:16:35,033 keep firing me because they think they recognize me. 352 00:16:35,069 --> 00:16:38,333 Oh, because they've been... 353 00:16:38,615 --> 00:16:39,717 You know. 354 00:16:39,817 --> 00:16:41,960 [sucking noise] 355 00:16:42,021 --> 00:16:45,212 Yes. I was even kicked out of my church 356 00:16:45,262 --> 00:16:48,326 because my preacher, Preacher Dan, 357 00:16:49,102 --> 00:16:50,519 thought I was Taylor. 358 00:16:50,565 --> 00:16:55,191 Yeah, because Preacher Dan has also been, uh... 359 00:16:55,267 --> 00:16:57,770 - [sucking noise] - Preacher Dan? 360 00:16:57,902 --> 00:16:59,818 Watching what rhymes with corn? No. 361 00:16:59,887 --> 00:17:01,950 Why else would he think it was you? 362 00:17:02,215 --> 00:17:05,179 - Yeah. - Oh, my Lord. 363 00:17:06,324 --> 00:17:09,228 Listen, uh, we'll give Taylor a call 364 00:17:09,328 --> 00:17:11,711 and we'll explain the situation, eh? 365 00:17:11,811 --> 00:17:15,035 I'm sure she'll have no problem making a video with you. 366 00:17:15,135 --> 00:17:16,747 Really? 367 00:17:17,174 --> 00:17:18,590 Oh, thank you! 368 00:17:18,642 --> 00:17:21,225 You have no idea what this means to me! 369 00:17:21,745 --> 00:17:23,177 Would you like to pray with me 370 00:17:23,240 --> 00:17:25,663 to the Lord and thank Him for this great blessing? 371 00:17:25,834 --> 00:17:27,837 We can't. 372 00:17:28,301 --> 00:17:29,992 We're Swedish. 373 00:17:30,132 --> 00:17:33,310 ? 374 00:17:33,667 --> 00:17:37,672 - Do you know what we gave her? - I do not want to hear that. 375 00:17:37,783 --> 00:17:39,331 "Closure." 376 00:17:40,165 --> 00:17:41,987 [Ingmar] I hate to admit it, 377 00:17:42,071 --> 00:17:44,054 but I guess the kiddo was right. 378 00:17:44,293 --> 00:17:47,156 I guess we're all looking for some closure. 379 00:17:47,360 --> 00:17:49,303 Taylor's got hers, 380 00:17:49,419 --> 00:17:51,083 and so did the stalker, 381 00:17:51,192 --> 00:17:53,014 and at this point I even thought 382 00:17:53,090 --> 00:17:54,552 my own daughter Sarah 383 00:17:54,628 --> 00:17:56,238 would get some closure. 384 00:17:56,351 --> 00:18:00,646 Steve, that name makes me happy. When you talk about the sun... 385 00:18:00,761 --> 00:18:02,423 Hi, Steve. Glad you called. 386 00:18:02,523 --> 00:18:04,520 I could really use a good laugh now. 387 00:18:04,616 --> 00:18:06,035 She dumped me, Ingmar. 388 00:18:06,130 --> 00:18:09,232 What? [Grunts] Why? 389 00:18:09,332 --> 00:18:10,950 She said we... 390 00:18:11,029 --> 00:18:12,291 [crying] 391 00:18:12,400 --> 00:18:14,938 Steve, I can't understand you 392 00:18:14,998 --> 00:18:17,663 because you're crying like a baby. 393 00:18:17,721 --> 00:18:18,703 [phone beeps] 394 00:18:18,747 --> 00:18:20,369 What, uh... 395 00:18:21,748 --> 00:18:24,084 Hey, Steve, I got Sarah on the other line, 396 00:18:24,119 --> 00:18:26,004 so I'm gonna put you on hold. 397 00:18:26,123 --> 00:18:27,024 Is that okay? 398 00:18:27,077 --> 00:18:29,080 Oh, God... 399 00:18:30,395 --> 00:18:32,738 I'll take that as a yes. 400 00:18:32,949 --> 00:18:34,171 [beep] 401 00:18:34,366 --> 00:18:36,955 - Sarah. - Dad, I broke up with Steve. 402 00:18:37,013 --> 00:18:38,875 I know. I got him on the other line. 403 00:18:38,911 --> 00:18:40,894 He's crying like a baby. 404 00:18:41,422 --> 00:18:45,102 Oh. I feel terrible, but, I mean, I had to break up with him. 405 00:18:45,166 --> 00:18:46,268 Why, Sarah? First... 406 00:18:46,360 --> 00:18:49,143 I couldn't find any dirt on him, mm? 407 00:18:49,640 --> 00:18:52,381 Secondly, for once, I actually got along 408 00:18:52,471 --> 00:18:53,933 with a boyfriend of yours. 409 00:18:53,986 --> 00:18:56,970 Yeah, that's the reason I had to break up with him. 410 00:18:57,276 --> 00:18:59,113 It kinda creeped me out how well you two got along. 411 00:18:59,189 --> 00:19:00,664 It was like I was sleeping with my dad. 412 00:19:00,721 --> 00:19:03,065 Okay, don't go there. I got it. All right? 413 00:19:03,412 --> 00:19:06,035 Well, just wanted to let you know. Bye. 414 00:19:06,166 --> 00:19:07,748 [beeps] 415 00:19:07,896 --> 00:19:09,959 Steve, I'm back. 416 00:19:10,067 --> 00:19:11,063 What did she say? 417 00:19:11,100 --> 00:19:14,805 Um, she said to me that... 418 00:19:15,460 --> 00:19:16,962 you're not gonna work. 419 00:19:17,043 --> 00:19:18,544 I'm sorry, forget about her. 420 00:19:18,609 --> 00:19:20,111 Can you do that for me? 421 00:19:20,750 --> 00:19:22,893 But I love her! 422 00:19:23,232 --> 00:19:25,021 I'll take that as a yes. 423 00:19:25,248 --> 00:19:26,830 [beep] 424 00:19:26,891 --> 00:19:30,897 - [screaming] - [gunshots] 425 00:19:37,704 --> 00:19:42,001 - What happened? - Nothing. What's the smellr? 426 00:19:42,381 --> 00:19:46,933 Sun has tried to scare the spirits of the past by spraying birdpee. 427 00:19:47,132 --> 00:19:50,540 - Birds do not pee. - Well, in the shit. 428 00:19:50,592 --> 00:19:51,737 - [blow lands on TV] - [yell on TV] 429 00:19:51,833 --> 00:19:53,296 Sun, what the hell are you doing? 430 00:19:53,365 --> 00:19:54,667 Watching movie. 431 00:19:54,767 --> 00:19:56,870 Turn that off! 432 00:19:56,970 --> 00:19:57,781 No, Sun, leave it on. 433 00:19:58,003 --> 00:19:59,008 You need this. 434 00:19:59,100 --> 00:20:00,401 [chicken crows] 435 00:20:00,469 --> 00:20:02,472 [explosion] 436 00:20:02,685 --> 00:20:05,518 I need peace and quiet now. Okay? 437 00:20:06,510 --> 00:20:08,839 - Holy shit! - What? 438 00:20:08,990 --> 00:20:10,993 Look. There. 439 00:20:16,162 --> 00:20:18,185 Holy shit! 440 00:20:18,888 --> 00:20:20,670 You can see someone 441 00:20:20,874 --> 00:20:22,296 in the reflection. 442 00:20:23,444 --> 00:20:25,328 I think he's holding a video camera. 443 00:20:25,431 --> 00:20:26,973 Ingmar! 444 00:20:27,145 --> 00:20:29,268 Have you noticed this? 445 00:20:31,953 --> 00:20:34,015 - What? - The man with the camera. 446 00:20:34,115 --> 00:20:36,198 There. There he is. Look. 447 00:20:37,641 --> 00:20:40,065 Yeah, you're right. 448 00:20:40,355 --> 00:20:42,377 Holy shit. 449 00:20:42,961 --> 00:20:45,154 He's probably just shooting, 450 00:20:45,209 --> 00:20:48,193 you know, the behind-the-scenes shit. 451 00:20:48,253 --> 00:20:49,905 You know, there could be something on the tape 452 00:20:49,951 --> 00:20:51,253 he has in his camera, 453 00:20:51,370 --> 00:20:53,393 something really interesting. 454 00:20:53,555 --> 00:20:54,585 We should try to find it. 455 00:20:54,633 --> 00:20:56,635 Oh, no. No. 456 00:20:58,045 --> 00:21:00,588 That's what I should've said 457 00:21:00,616 --> 00:21:02,399 if I was smart. 458 00:21:02,443 --> 00:21:04,305 But I didn't. I said... 459 00:21:04,429 --> 00:21:06,372 Yes. 460 00:21:06,472 --> 00:21:08,535 Did you just say "yes"? 461 00:21:08,976 --> 00:21:11,339 Yes. 462 00:21:20,712 --> 00:21:22,214 First of all, I would like to thank 463 00:21:22,314 --> 00:21:23,935 the Swedish Dicks for putting me in contact with Taylor. 464 00:21:24,046 --> 00:21:28,231 And I would like to thank Taylor Slow for making this video with me. 465 00:21:28,323 --> 00:21:30,026 Thank you, Taylor. 466 00:21:30,317 --> 00:21:31,338 Glad to be here. 467 00:21:31,597 --> 00:21:33,259 So now all you people back home 468 00:21:33,351 --> 00:21:35,895 who thought I was lying, especially you, Preacher Dan, 469 00:21:36,098 --> 00:21:37,322 know that I wasn't. 470 00:21:37,449 --> 00:21:38,671 I'm not Taylor Slow, 471 00:21:39,572 --> 00:21:41,053 and Taylor Slow is not me. 472 00:21:41,144 --> 00:21:43,968 - Right? - That's right. 473 00:21:44,266 --> 00:21:46,649 - [kisses] - Oh! 474 00:21:46,788 --> 00:21:48,007 Sorry. 475 00:21:48,123 --> 00:21:49,117 That's a bad habit. 476 00:21:49,224 --> 00:21:52,758 I just... I've been making movies for so long 477 00:21:52,848 --> 00:21:56,097 that whenever I'm on camera with an attractive person 478 00:21:56,196 --> 00:21:59,260 I just can't help myself. 479 00:21:59,685 --> 00:22:03,891 - ? - [kissing] 480 00:22:07,162 --> 00:22:10,907 Good! More tongue! 481 00:22:11,007 --> 00:22:12,189 [knocking] 482 00:22:12,242 --> 00:22:14,150 [man] Preacher Dan! Are you coming? 483 00:22:14,296 --> 00:22:18,041 Yeah, in a minute! I'm just cleansing my soul! 484 00:22:18,316 --> 00:22:20,991 [kissing] 485 00:22:21,071 --> 00:22:25,184 - Synced & Corrected by Dragoniod - www.addic7ed.com 486 00:22:25,394 --> 00:22:28,678 ? 487 00:22:28,728 --> 00:22:33,278 Repair and Synchronization by Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0 33182

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