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1
00:00:04,778 --> 00:00:08,563
[Ingmar] Hollywood.Some people don't like it,
2
00:00:08,663 --> 00:00:10,876
because they think everything's fake,
3
00:00:10,998 --> 00:00:12,700
but I never had a problem with that.
4
00:00:12,776 --> 00:00:15,200
I couldn't... I was a stuntman,
5
00:00:15,324 --> 00:00:18,020
and my job was to make fake look real.
6
00:00:18,084 --> 00:00:19,929
(motor revving)
7
00:00:19,998 --> 00:00:20,980
Okay, Ingmar.
8
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[Ingmar] Right on!
9
00:00:22,242 --> 00:00:23,304
How does it look?
10
00:00:23,324 --> 00:00:25,327
Let's rock 'n' roll!
11
00:00:27,276 --> 00:00:29,178
Yeah. Get some!
12
00:00:29,278 --> 00:00:32,302
I'm gonna show them this
is how real action's done.
13
00:00:32,402 --> 00:00:34,192
- B camera slate!
- Back! Get back! We're about to start!
14
00:00:34,229 --> 00:00:38,254
Unfortunately, there are times
when fake becomes real.
15
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Too real.
16
00:00:40,296 --> 00:00:42,419
And action!
17
00:00:42,512 --> 00:00:44,815
[tires squeal]
18
00:00:45,042 --> 00:00:45,983
[crashing]
19
00:00:46,138 --> 00:00:47,720
[Ingmar] No! No!
20
00:00:47,797 --> 00:00:52,323
- [siren wailing]
- [shouting]
21
00:00:55,993 --> 00:01:00,319
[car revving on video]
22
00:01:04,574 --> 00:01:07,698
- What are you doing?
- I'm watching Bloodstream 2.
23
00:01:08,484 --> 00:01:10,595
What the Hell?
24
00:01:11,833 --> 00:01:13,885
- Don't watch it.
- Why do you quit.
25
00:01:13,940 --> 00:01:16,559
It's a bad idea to bring my past.
26
00:01:16,784 --> 00:01:18,805
Do you know what's stupid?
27
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To listen to the same tape in the car
over and over because it is stuck.
28
00:01:24,181 --> 00:01:26,809
Seeing "Black Curse 2" is a good idea,
29
00:01:26,815 --> 00:01:29,927
because you want to know how Tex died.
30
00:01:30,097 --> 00:01:33,387
You need "closure".
31
00:01:33,481 --> 00:01:35,984
Hey! Don't you ever use
the "C" word on me,
32
00:01:36,099 --> 00:01:38,202
ever again, you understand?
33
00:01:38,405 --> 00:01:40,708
Are you the dicks?
34
00:01:40,912 --> 00:01:45,503
We sure are. Um... and you...
35
00:01:45,652 --> 00:01:48,156
must be Taylor Slow.
36
00:01:48,454 --> 00:01:50,348
That would be correct, sir.
37
00:01:50,555 --> 00:01:52,858
I'm... I'm sorry, this may sound crazy,
38
00:01:52,982 --> 00:01:54,845
but I feel like I know you,
39
00:01:55,184 --> 00:01:56,926
like we've met before?
40
00:01:57,160 --> 00:01:59,101
Maybe in a past life
41
00:01:59,191 --> 00:02:00,653
or some sort of spiritual plane.
42
00:02:00,911 --> 00:02:04,035
I make porn. That's probably
where you've seen me.
43
00:02:04,204 --> 00:02:06,026
Oh, right! Yes.
44
00:02:06,166 --> 00:02:08,069
Oh, I'm sorry, I didn't recognize you
45
00:02:08,129 --> 00:02:10,151
with your... clothes on.
46
00:02:11,203 --> 00:02:13,387
[chuckles] So, how can we help you?
47
00:02:13,516 --> 00:02:16,676
Well, someone is stalking me,
and I'd like you to find them
48
00:02:16,742 --> 00:02:18,845
so I can legally ask them to stop.
49
00:02:19,008 --> 00:02:20,630
Consider it done.
50
00:02:20,826 --> 00:02:23,010
Great. Your competitor,
51
00:02:23,047 --> 00:02:25,181
uh, Jane McKinney,
said it would take days.
52
00:02:25,284 --> 00:02:26,527
- Jane who?
- [knocking]
53
00:02:26,568 --> 00:02:30,673
Oh, my God! Taylor? Taylor Slow?
54
00:02:30,789 --> 00:02:33,613
Taylor Slow, is that really you?
55
00:02:33,697 --> 00:02:36,160
- Yeah.
- [laughs] Ohh!
56
00:02:36,205 --> 00:02:38,127
Oh! Oh...
57
00:02:38,218 --> 00:02:40,641
I thought so! I'm a huge fan!
58
00:02:41,026 --> 00:02:41,768
Wow, thanks.
59
00:02:42,209 --> 00:02:43,511
You're so beautiful.
60
00:02:43,558 --> 00:02:44,699
Can we take a picture?
61
00:02:44,767 --> 00:02:46,069
- Sure.
- Your selfie.
62
00:02:46,360 --> 00:02:47,622
Give me phone.
63
00:02:47,667 --> 00:02:49,980
Sun, can you leave us
alone for a moment?
64
00:02:50,034 --> 00:02:51,376
Give me phone now!
65
00:02:51,770 --> 00:02:53,552
- Your telephone?
- Oh, yeah.
66
00:02:53,881 --> 00:02:55,188
We take a picture.
67
00:02:55,385 --> 00:02:57,588
?
68
00:02:57,799 --> 00:03:01,292
Swedish Dicks 1x05 "Episode 5"
Sep 16, 2016
69
00:03:01,377 --> 00:03:05,938
- Synced & Corrected by Dragoniod -
www.addic7ed.com
70
00:03:06,337 --> 00:03:10,901
?
71
00:03:26,628 --> 00:03:29,159
Okay, Dad, you know how I've always had
72
00:03:29,165 --> 00:03:31,010
a problem committing in relationships?
73
00:03:31,155 --> 00:03:32,256
Yeah, yeah.
74
00:03:32,411 --> 00:03:34,989
Well, I think that might be changing,
75
00:03:35,049 --> 00:03:37,501
because I think I've found somebody
76
00:03:37,594 --> 00:03:41,138
that I can actually
connect with, you know?
77
00:03:41,182 --> 00:03:45,608
His name's Steve, and, well, I
really like hanging out with him.
78
00:03:45,693 --> 00:03:47,276
Okay, so what's the problem?
79
00:03:47,335 --> 00:03:49,778
The problem is that...
80
00:03:49,861 --> 00:03:52,565
he just kind of seems
too good to be true.
81
00:03:52,926 --> 00:03:54,692
- So...
- Yes?
82
00:03:54,886 --> 00:03:59,358
I... I want you to do,
83
00:03:59,429 --> 00:04:00,589
just, like, a small,
84
00:04:00,649 --> 00:04:03,493
like a small background check on him.
85
00:04:04,892 --> 00:04:09,038
I'll see what I can dig up on him.
86
00:04:09,321 --> 00:04:12,064
Thanks for coming to me with this.
87
00:04:12,132 --> 00:04:13,474
Means a lot.
88
00:04:13,645 --> 00:04:15,176
Yeah, and those guys
at McKinney would've
89
00:04:15,246 --> 00:04:17,149
charged me a fortune, so... Ugh.
90
00:04:17,480 --> 00:04:19,483
All right, thanks, Dad! Bye!
91
00:04:21,599 --> 00:04:24,883
McKinney? You talked to McKinney?
92
00:04:26,776 --> 00:04:28,758
I usually hated it when someone
93
00:04:29,327 --> 00:04:31,791
mentioned Jane McKinney's name,
94
00:04:31,891 --> 00:04:36,256
but this time it actually
gave me an idea.
95
00:04:38,070 --> 00:04:39,693
Oh! Oh, my God!
96
00:04:40,452 --> 00:04:41,927
What's that disgusting smell?
97
00:04:42,084 --> 00:04:43,265
Piss of bird.
98
00:04:43,444 --> 00:04:45,347
Piss of bird?
99
00:04:45,559 --> 00:04:47,421
Do birds actually pee?
100
00:04:47,505 --> 00:04:49,648
Yes! In their poop.
101
00:04:49,684 --> 00:04:52,508
W-Why are you spreading
it over the office?
102
00:04:52,583 --> 00:04:53,925
- Move! Move!
- No...
103
00:04:54,018 --> 00:04:56,021
Yeah, go.
104
00:04:56,984 --> 00:04:59,007
It's ancient North Korean remedy
105
00:04:59,044 --> 00:05:00,506
to get rid of bad spirit.
106
00:05:00,940 --> 00:05:02,599
You're saying there's
a bad spirit in there?
107
00:05:02,644 --> 00:05:04,747
Yes! I was there earlier,
108
00:05:05,046 --> 00:05:08,130
and felt bad spirit...
109
00:05:10,875 --> 00:05:12,878
surging through my body...
110
00:05:14,533 --> 00:05:17,317
almost bringing me to fully body orgasm!
111
00:05:17,402 --> 00:05:20,886
[gasping]
112
00:05:22,760 --> 00:05:24,762
[gasps]
113
00:05:24,997 --> 00:05:25,978
[gasps]
114
00:05:26,236 --> 00:05:28,239
[gasps]
115
00:05:32,105 --> 00:05:33,523
That's when I seek remedy
116
00:05:33,560 --> 00:05:35,563
and look for piss of bird.
117
00:05:36,312 --> 00:05:39,697
I think spirit come from past,
118
00:05:40,010 --> 00:05:41,351
Ingmar's past.
119
00:05:41,483 --> 00:05:43,732
Well, you know what?
120
00:05:43,938 --> 00:05:45,981
I've been forcing Ingmar
to look back on his past.
121
00:05:46,061 --> 00:05:47,843
Not good to mess with past.
122
00:05:47,943 --> 00:05:49,165
Oh, I disagree.
123
00:05:49,265 --> 00:05:50,527
Ingmar needs closure.
124
00:05:50,627 --> 00:05:54,171
Oh, like a female character
on Sex and the Shitty.
125
00:05:54,271 --> 00:05:55,629
It's "City," not "Shitty."
126
00:05:55,807 --> 00:05:58,391
Are you sure? Seems shitty to me.
127
00:05:58,578 --> 00:05:59,960
Okay, listen.
128
00:06:00,005 --> 00:06:01,727
Ingmar wants me to go
over to McKinney's office
129
00:06:01,823 --> 00:06:03,966
- and pretend to want to work for them.
- Why?
130
00:06:04,010 --> 00:06:05,080
So I can steal some codes they have
131
00:06:05,200 --> 00:06:06,882
that will help us triangulate and locate
132
00:06:06,947 --> 00:06:09,130
whoever's been stalking Ms. Slow, so...
133
00:06:09,301 --> 00:06:11,244
do you have any advice
on how I can fool them
134
00:06:11,296 --> 00:06:12,667
into believing I really
want to work for them?
135
00:06:12,715 --> 00:06:15,479
- Ow!
- [dings]
136
00:06:20,643 --> 00:06:23,273
Tell McKinney Ingmar abused you.
137
00:06:23,498 --> 00:06:25,521
Here and here.
138
00:06:25,708 --> 00:06:27,711
[dings]
139
00:06:35,240 --> 00:06:37,804
[moaning]
140
00:06:39,628 --> 00:06:41,851
[cell phone ringing]
141
00:06:41,935 --> 00:06:44,638
- No.
- No, it might be work.
142
00:06:45,166 --> 00:06:47,870
Oh, yeah, it's work. Sorry.
143
00:06:48,010 --> 00:06:49,197
Hey, work, what's up?
144
00:06:49,304 --> 00:06:50,777
Is he with you?
145
00:06:50,816 --> 00:06:52,959
That would be an affirmative.
146
00:06:53,178 --> 00:06:54,880
I have some bad news,
147
00:06:54,948 --> 00:06:56,811
so maybe we should talk later.
148
00:06:56,832 --> 00:06:58,054
No, now's a perfect time.
149
00:06:58,281 --> 00:07:01,545
Okay. Steve's married.
150
00:07:01,915 --> 00:07:04,699
What? Are you sure?
151
00:07:04,877 --> 00:07:07,260
Yeah. Yeah.
152
00:07:07,298 --> 00:07:08,343
Hold on a second, work.
153
00:07:08,496 --> 00:07:09,519
[groans]
154
00:07:09,897 --> 00:07:11,560
[gasping]
155
00:07:12,201 --> 00:07:13,623
Sarah, get back on the phone.
156
00:07:13,755 --> 00:07:16,517
- What?
- Well, I'm sorry, I lied.
157
00:07:16,650 --> 00:07:17,751
Wait, what?
158
00:07:18,739 --> 00:07:21,060
Steve is not married.
159
00:07:21,122 --> 00:07:22,890
You're fired. I'm calling McKinney.
160
00:07:22,980 --> 00:07:24,522
Why did you hit me in the nuts?
161
00:07:24,772 --> 00:07:26,995
I'm sorry. Are you okay?
162
00:07:27,122 --> 00:07:31,949
No. Will you kiss it
and make it feel better?
163
00:07:32,049 --> 00:07:37,100
- What?
- Actually, I would love to do that.
164
00:07:37,299 --> 00:07:39,042
Oh, no, no, no, no.
165
00:07:39,110 --> 00:07:40,608
No, no, no, no, no.
166
00:07:40,685 --> 00:07:42,588
Sarah? No!
167
00:07:42,759 --> 00:07:45,903
[sighs]
168
00:07:46,107 --> 00:07:48,210
[cell phone rings]
169
00:07:48,278 --> 00:07:50,439
There are much,
much better ways to apologize
170
00:07:50,502 --> 00:07:53,406
than to give somebody oral sex.
171
00:07:53,498 --> 00:07:55,120
Excuse me?
172
00:07:55,196 --> 00:07:58,941
Oh! Hello, Ms. Slow!
173
00:07:59,002 --> 00:08:02,507
I'm sorry, those last words
were meant for my daughter.
174
00:08:02,702 --> 00:08:04,604
How can I help you?
175
00:08:04,684 --> 00:08:08,669
I was just wondering if you've
made any progress with my stalker.
176
00:08:08,729 --> 00:08:13,195
Oh, yeah. My associate is working
on the case as we speak.
177
00:08:13,303 --> 00:08:15,846
So, let me get this straight.
178
00:08:15,906 --> 00:08:20,572
You want to leave Ingmar and
come and play with the big dogs?
179
00:08:20,680 --> 00:08:21,596
That's right.
180
00:08:21,641 --> 00:08:23,103
Then let's hear it.
181
00:08:23,596 --> 00:08:24,834
Excuse me?
182
00:08:24,857 --> 00:08:28,181
Howl. Like a big dog.
183
00:08:29,611 --> 00:08:31,353
Go ahead. Do it.
184
00:08:31,453 --> 00:08:33,516
[chuckles]
185
00:08:33,616 --> 00:08:37,521
Oh. [Howls]
186
00:08:37,621 --> 00:08:40,045
Sounds like a neutered puppy.
187
00:08:40,145 --> 00:08:43,529
[chuckles] Well, yeah, sure, I...
188
00:08:43,629 --> 00:08:47,014
[howls]
189
00:08:47,114 --> 00:08:49,457
No, fuck, I can... Sorry, go deeper.
190
00:08:49,557 --> 00:08:54,203
[growling]
191
00:08:55,988 --> 00:08:57,931
I need mad dog.
192
00:08:57,976 --> 00:09:01,460
[growling]
193
00:09:03,936 --> 00:09:06,479
Now you're howling like a big dog.
194
00:09:06,604 --> 00:09:08,827
I'm quite happy with that last one.
195
00:09:09,037 --> 00:09:11,621
I could see you working here.
196
00:09:11,697 --> 00:09:12,659
Really?
197
00:09:12,698 --> 00:09:16,042
We could use some more female
energy around the place.
198
00:09:17,134 --> 00:09:19,798
Well, great.
199
00:09:19,914 --> 00:09:23,897
I'd love to have a quick
tour around the office.
200
00:09:24,052 --> 00:09:25,955
You playing me?
201
00:09:26,261 --> 00:09:29,725
No! No, of course not.
202
00:09:29,785 --> 00:09:33,350
The only thing I'm playing
is with the big dogs.
203
00:09:36,332 --> 00:09:38,335
Woof!
204
00:09:40,583 --> 00:09:43,367
[phone ringing]
205
00:09:43,641 --> 00:09:46,545
[phone ringing]
206
00:09:46,756 --> 00:09:50,721
- How are you?
- Jane does not think I'm leaving you.
207
00:09:50,914 --> 00:09:53,897
She wants a lie detection test.
208
00:09:54,131 --> 00:09:58,256
I have cheated the machines
hundreds of times. Thumbtacks.
209
00:09:58,933 --> 00:10:00,385
Thumbtacks?
210
00:10:00,613 --> 00:10:02,420
Put the thumbtacks in the right shoe
211
00:10:02,426 --> 00:10:05,266
and when they start asking questions
212
00:10:05,346 --> 00:10:07,227
Then you push your foot down.
213
00:10:07,291 --> 00:10:12,972
And the extreme pain that your body
signals will confuse the test.
214
00:10:13,375 --> 00:10:16,042
- Extreme pain?
- Exactly.
215
00:10:23,417 --> 00:10:25,163
I have to go.
216
00:10:44,062 --> 00:10:45,764
To establish a baseline,
217
00:10:45,972 --> 00:10:48,555
we'll begin by asking questions
we know to be true.
218
00:10:48,655 --> 00:10:50,678
What's your name?
219
00:10:50,778 --> 00:10:54,463
My name is ack! Axel.
220
00:10:56,396 --> 00:10:58,499
[beeping]
221
00:10:58,582 --> 00:11:01,065
Were you born in Sweden?
222
00:11:03,933 --> 00:11:05,194
Oh, yes.
223
00:11:05,200 --> 00:11:08,144
[beeping]
224
00:11:08,243 --> 00:11:10,847
Do you want to work for Jane McKinney?
225
00:11:13,114 --> 00:11:14,095
Yes.
226
00:11:14,346 --> 00:11:15,808
This is a farce.
227
00:11:15,900 --> 00:11:17,666
It's obvious he's trying
to trick the machine
228
00:11:17,716 --> 00:11:19,994
by putting a thumbtack in his shoe.
229
00:11:20,038 --> 00:11:21,580
No, oh, that's a lie.
230
00:11:21,759 --> 00:11:22,781
[beeping]
231
00:11:22,921 --> 00:11:24,423
Do you have a thumbtack
232
00:11:24,507 --> 00:11:25,368
in your shoe?
233
00:11:25,413 --> 00:11:26,681
- [strained] No.
- Enough.
234
00:11:26,778 --> 00:11:28,921
Take the thumbtack out of your shoe.
235
00:11:28,973 --> 00:11:30,902
- What thumbtack?
- This thumbtack.
236
00:11:30,967 --> 00:11:33,488
Ow! Ow! Aah!
237
00:11:33,526 --> 00:11:36,510
- [beeping]
- [groaning]
238
00:11:37,856 --> 00:11:40,196
[Ingmar] Lucky for Axel,he had the smarts
239
00:11:40,256 --> 00:11:41,999
to come up with a backup plan.
240
00:11:42,083 --> 00:11:45,888
[groaning]
241
00:11:49,957 --> 00:11:51,499
Get off my foot!
242
00:11:51,623 --> 00:11:53,566
- [computer beeps]
- [continued groans]
243
00:11:54,650 --> 00:11:55,885
Hey, what do you think you're doing?
244
00:11:55,932 --> 00:11:58,996
Luckily for Sun,
she also had a backup plan.
245
00:11:59,097 --> 00:12:00,279
Aah...
246
00:12:00,307 --> 00:12:01,288
[whoosh]
247
00:12:01,809 --> 00:12:06,776
- [screaming]
- [screaming]
248
00:12:17,310 --> 00:12:19,313
[phone ringing]
249
00:12:20,426 --> 00:12:22,759
- Hey.
- Hey, how's the background check going?
250
00:12:22,880 --> 00:12:23,811
Working on it.
251
00:12:23,908 --> 00:12:26,331
I'm in his home as we speak.
252
00:12:26,422 --> 00:12:28,085
Wait, what? You're in his house?
253
00:12:28,170 --> 00:12:29,271
Well, you wanted me
254
00:12:29,315 --> 00:12:31,498
to do a proper background check, right?
255
00:12:31,591 --> 00:12:34,455
Yes, meaning you would do
some light surveillance
256
00:12:34,571 --> 00:12:36,346
and a lot of online checking
to make sure
257
00:12:36,415 --> 00:12:38,598
he is who he says he is,
not break into his house.
258
00:12:38,634 --> 00:12:40,216
I want you out of there now!
259
00:12:40,312 --> 00:12:43,109
- [door squeaking]
- I can't.
260
00:12:43,154 --> 00:12:45,156
Why not?
261
00:12:46,840 --> 00:12:48,742
Because he just got back home.
262
00:12:48,833 --> 00:12:51,096
- What?
- Gotta hang up.
263
00:12:51,292 --> 00:12:53,295
[beep]
264
00:12:56,277 --> 00:12:58,280
Hi!
265
00:13:00,567 --> 00:13:02,470
You're Ingmar.
266
00:13:02,594 --> 00:13:04,190
Sarah's father, right?
267
00:13:04,234 --> 00:13:06,136
Right! That's me.
268
00:13:06,276 --> 00:13:09,140
What are you doing in my house?
269
00:13:09,160 --> 00:13:11,263
Wait, let me guess.
270
00:13:11,807 --> 00:13:13,870
Your wonderful and beautiful daughter
271
00:13:13,930 --> 00:13:15,488
asked you to do
a background check on me.
272
00:13:15,594 --> 00:13:18,738
Yes, but not because she thought
273
00:13:18,790 --> 00:13:20,429
that there was something wrong with you.
274
00:13:20,484 --> 00:13:24,108
The opposite. She thought, yeah,
you were too good to be true.
275
00:13:24,708 --> 00:13:27,953
[chuckles]
276
00:13:32,603 --> 00:13:34,365
Now, let me see what I can do.
277
00:13:34,529 --> 00:13:36,993
Done. I found address.
278
00:13:37,102 --> 00:13:39,104
It's a motel.
279
00:13:40,414 --> 00:13:42,196
Oh, good.
280
00:13:42,280 --> 00:13:44,423
Yeah. Right.
281
00:13:44,534 --> 00:13:46,537
Good teamwork.
282
00:13:47,538 --> 00:13:48,840
She really said that,
283
00:13:48,940 --> 00:13:51,203
that I was too good to be true?
284
00:13:51,303 --> 00:13:53,166
Word for word.
285
00:13:53,266 --> 00:13:55,168
That is so funny.
286
00:13:55,268 --> 00:13:57,611
I felt the exact same way about Sarah.
287
00:13:57,711 --> 00:14:00,120
That's why I had somebody
do a background check on her.
288
00:14:00,183 --> 00:14:02,406
That's how I know who you are.
289
00:14:02,607 --> 00:14:04,230
No!
290
00:14:04,308 --> 00:14:06,250
- Yes.
- Yes.
291
00:14:06,380 --> 00:14:07,770
Isn't that funny?
292
00:14:07,818 --> 00:14:10,855
That is actually very funny.
293
00:14:10,978 --> 00:14:12,240
- Cheers.
- Oh, yes.
294
00:14:12,490 --> 00:14:13,872
Hey, I'll tell you what.
295
00:14:14,099 --> 00:14:17,363
You're here to see who I am,
so take a look around.
296
00:14:17,423 --> 00:14:19,498
Just don't go in the cellar.
I got somebody tied up in there.
297
00:14:19,544 --> 00:14:22,127
[laughs]
298
00:14:22,893 --> 00:14:25,757
You're funny!
299
00:14:25,810 --> 00:14:27,793
[laughter on recording]
300
00:14:27,901 --> 00:14:29,603
Wait, wait, wait.
301
00:14:29,703 --> 00:14:32,166
[laughing]
302
00:14:32,424 --> 00:14:33,606
I love it!
303
00:14:33,643 --> 00:14:35,211
Why would you film yourself laughing?
304
00:14:35,330 --> 00:14:37,991
It just felt like the right thing to do.
305
00:14:38,175 --> 00:14:39,036
I mean...
306
00:14:39,191 --> 00:14:41,214
It feels like the weird thing to do.
307
00:14:41,275 --> 00:14:42,420
It's just funny!
308
00:14:42,469 --> 00:14:45,253
Come on, Axel, I know, I know.
309
00:14:45,298 --> 00:14:47,441
I can be rough around the edges.
310
00:14:47,502 --> 00:14:51,407
I mean, but let me tell you,
I'm impressed.
311
00:14:51,459 --> 00:14:55,044
I mean, you put yourself
through a lot of pain
312
00:14:55,120 --> 00:14:56,738
to get to those codes.
313
00:14:56,843 --> 00:14:58,545
That's good job, kiddo.
314
00:14:58,551 --> 00:14:59,318
Thank you.
315
00:14:59,347 --> 00:15:00,569
Yeah.
316
00:15:00,638 --> 00:15:02,661
Well, I'm really happy
to hear you say that.
317
00:15:02,896 --> 00:15:04,825
Sometimes I could wonder
if you really appreciate
318
00:15:04,862 --> 00:15:06,524
everything I do. I mean, you know,
319
00:15:06,561 --> 00:15:08,275
I remember when I first met you...
320
00:15:08,364 --> 00:15:10,567
Enough. Enough. Enough.
321
00:15:12,927 --> 00:15:15,230
This is it.
322
00:15:15,565 --> 00:15:17,788
That's the right address.
323
00:15:17,888 --> 00:15:21,152
Thanks to Axel, we finally found
324
00:15:21,252 --> 00:15:24,837
the location where Taylor's
stalker was hiding out.
325
00:15:24,937 --> 00:15:28,382
It was time to close the case.
326
00:15:30,533 --> 00:15:36,380
We do not know who it is. It can be a psychopath. Be prepared.
327
00:15:37,355 --> 00:15:39,887
- I'm knocking on...
- Freeze
328
00:15:39,996 --> 00:15:41,998
[exclaims]
329
00:15:42,217 --> 00:15:44,160
Taylor?
330
00:15:44,324 --> 00:15:45,786
What are you doing here?
331
00:15:45,877 --> 00:15:47,299
I'm not Taylor.
332
00:15:47,368 --> 00:15:48,670
You look exactly like her.
333
00:15:48,738 --> 00:15:51,842
I know, and it's a huge problem.
334
00:15:51,902 --> 00:15:54,285
Please, come in.
335
00:15:55,258 --> 00:15:57,246
Oh, you don't have
to take off your shoes.
336
00:15:57,315 --> 00:15:58,536
Well, he has to.
337
00:15:58,928 --> 00:16:01,512
I'm Swedish.
338
00:16:01,709 --> 00:16:03,748
Please understand.
I'm not stalking Taylor.
339
00:16:03,771 --> 00:16:05,233
I'm just calling her.
340
00:16:05,563 --> 00:16:08,387
Okay, and what do you
want to talk to her about?
341
00:16:08,470 --> 00:16:10,893
I just want to ask her
to make a video with me.
342
00:16:10,969 --> 00:16:12,872
A... sex video?
343
00:16:12,917 --> 00:16:15,340
No! Lord, no, just a normal video
344
00:16:15,417 --> 00:16:17,520
so I can convince the people back home
345
00:16:17,587 --> 00:16:19,203
in Kansas that we're
not the same person.
346
00:16:19,235 --> 00:16:23,840
Oh, because the people, they
thing you're making sex videos?
347
00:16:23,956 --> 00:16:27,531
Yes, and it's ruining my life.
348
00:16:27,604 --> 00:16:29,679
Strange men coming up to me constantly
349
00:16:29,734 --> 00:16:31,034
and saying disgusting things to me?
350
00:16:31,090 --> 00:16:32,248
I can't keep a job because my bosses
351
00:16:32,289 --> 00:16:35,033
keep firing me because they
think they recognize me.
352
00:16:35,069 --> 00:16:38,333
Oh, because they've been...
353
00:16:38,615 --> 00:16:39,717
You know.
354
00:16:39,817 --> 00:16:41,960
[sucking noise]
355
00:16:42,021 --> 00:16:45,212
Yes. I was even kicked out of my church
356
00:16:45,262 --> 00:16:48,326
because my preacher, Preacher Dan,
357
00:16:49,102 --> 00:16:50,519
thought I was Taylor.
358
00:16:50,565 --> 00:16:55,191
Yeah, because Preacher Dan
has also been, uh...
359
00:16:55,267 --> 00:16:57,770
- [sucking noise]
- Preacher Dan?
360
00:16:57,902 --> 00:16:59,818
Watching what rhymes with corn? No.
361
00:16:59,887 --> 00:17:01,950
Why else would he think it was you?
362
00:17:02,215 --> 00:17:05,179
- Yeah.
- Oh, my Lord.
363
00:17:06,324 --> 00:17:09,228
Listen, uh, we'll give Taylor a call
364
00:17:09,328 --> 00:17:11,711
and we'll explain the situation, eh?
365
00:17:11,811 --> 00:17:15,035
I'm sure she'll have no problem
making a video with you.
366
00:17:15,135 --> 00:17:16,747
Really?
367
00:17:17,174 --> 00:17:18,590
Oh, thank you!
368
00:17:18,642 --> 00:17:21,225
You have no idea what this means to me!
369
00:17:21,745 --> 00:17:23,177
Would you like to pray with me
370
00:17:23,240 --> 00:17:25,663
to the Lord and thank Him
for this great blessing?
371
00:17:25,834 --> 00:17:27,837
We can't.
372
00:17:28,301 --> 00:17:29,992
We're Swedish.
373
00:17:30,132 --> 00:17:33,310
?
374
00:17:33,667 --> 00:17:37,672
- Do you know what we gave her?
- I do not want to hear that.
375
00:17:37,783 --> 00:17:39,331
"Closure."
376
00:17:40,165 --> 00:17:41,987
[Ingmar] I hate to admit it,
377
00:17:42,071 --> 00:17:44,054
but I guess the kiddo was right.
378
00:17:44,293 --> 00:17:47,156
I guess we're all
looking for some closure.
379
00:17:47,360 --> 00:17:49,303
Taylor's got hers,
380
00:17:49,419 --> 00:17:51,083
and so did the stalker,
381
00:17:51,192 --> 00:17:53,014
and at this point I even thought
382
00:17:53,090 --> 00:17:54,552
my own daughter Sarah
383
00:17:54,628 --> 00:17:56,238
would get some closure.
384
00:17:56,351 --> 00:18:00,646
Steve, that name makes me happy.
When you talk about the sun...
385
00:18:00,761 --> 00:18:02,423
Hi, Steve. Glad you called.
386
00:18:02,523 --> 00:18:04,520
I could really use a good laugh now.
387
00:18:04,616 --> 00:18:06,035
She dumped me, Ingmar.
388
00:18:06,130 --> 00:18:09,232
What? [Grunts] Why?
389
00:18:09,332 --> 00:18:10,950
She said we...
390
00:18:11,029 --> 00:18:12,291
[crying]
391
00:18:12,400 --> 00:18:14,938
Steve, I can't understand you
392
00:18:14,998 --> 00:18:17,663
because you're crying like a baby.
393
00:18:17,721 --> 00:18:18,703
[phone beeps]
394
00:18:18,747 --> 00:18:20,369
What, uh...
395
00:18:21,748 --> 00:18:24,084
Hey, Steve, I got Sarah
on the other line,
396
00:18:24,119 --> 00:18:26,004
so I'm gonna put you on hold.
397
00:18:26,123 --> 00:18:27,024
Is that okay?
398
00:18:27,077 --> 00:18:29,080
Oh, God...
399
00:18:30,395 --> 00:18:32,738
I'll take that as a yes.
400
00:18:32,949 --> 00:18:34,171
[beep]
401
00:18:34,366 --> 00:18:36,955
- Sarah.
- Dad, I broke up with Steve.
402
00:18:37,013 --> 00:18:38,875
I know. I got him on the other line.
403
00:18:38,911 --> 00:18:40,894
He's crying like a baby.
404
00:18:41,422 --> 00:18:45,102
Oh. I feel terrible, but, I mean,
I had to break up with him.
405
00:18:45,166 --> 00:18:46,268
Why, Sarah? First...
406
00:18:46,360 --> 00:18:49,143
I couldn't find any dirt on him, mm?
407
00:18:49,640 --> 00:18:52,381
Secondly, for once, I actually got along
408
00:18:52,471 --> 00:18:53,933
with a boyfriend of yours.
409
00:18:53,986 --> 00:18:56,970
Yeah, that's the reason
I had to break up with him.
410
00:18:57,276 --> 00:18:59,113
It kinda creeped me out
how well you two got along.
411
00:18:59,189 --> 00:19:00,664
It was like I was sleeping with my dad.
412
00:19:00,721 --> 00:19:03,065
Okay, don't go there.
I got it. All right?
413
00:19:03,412 --> 00:19:06,035
Well, just wanted to let you know. Bye.
414
00:19:06,166 --> 00:19:07,748
[beeps]
415
00:19:07,896 --> 00:19:09,959
Steve, I'm back.
416
00:19:10,067 --> 00:19:11,063
What did she say?
417
00:19:11,100 --> 00:19:14,805
Um, she said to me that...
418
00:19:15,460 --> 00:19:16,962
you're not gonna work.
419
00:19:17,043 --> 00:19:18,544
I'm sorry, forget about her.
420
00:19:18,609 --> 00:19:20,111
Can you do that for me?
421
00:19:20,750 --> 00:19:22,893
But I love her!
422
00:19:23,232 --> 00:19:25,021
I'll take that as a yes.
423
00:19:25,248 --> 00:19:26,830
[beep]
424
00:19:26,891 --> 00:19:30,897
- [screaming]
- [gunshots]
425
00:19:37,704 --> 00:19:42,001
- What happened?
- Nothing. What's the smellr?
426
00:19:42,381 --> 00:19:46,933
Sun has tried to scare the spirits
of the past by spraying birdpee.
427
00:19:47,132 --> 00:19:50,540
- Birds do not pee.
- Well, in the shit.
428
00:19:50,592 --> 00:19:51,737
- [blow lands on TV]
- [yell on TV]
429
00:19:51,833 --> 00:19:53,296
Sun, what the hell are you doing?
430
00:19:53,365 --> 00:19:54,667
Watching movie.
431
00:19:54,767 --> 00:19:56,870
Turn that off!
432
00:19:56,970 --> 00:19:57,781
No, Sun, leave it on.
433
00:19:58,003 --> 00:19:59,008
You need this.
434
00:19:59,100 --> 00:20:00,401
[chicken crows]
435
00:20:00,469 --> 00:20:02,472
[explosion]
436
00:20:02,685 --> 00:20:05,518
I need peace and quiet now. Okay?
437
00:20:06,510 --> 00:20:08,839
- Holy shit!
- What?
438
00:20:08,990 --> 00:20:10,993
Look. There.
439
00:20:16,162 --> 00:20:18,185
Holy shit!
440
00:20:18,888 --> 00:20:20,670
You can see someone
441
00:20:20,874 --> 00:20:22,296
in the reflection.
442
00:20:23,444 --> 00:20:25,328
I think he's holding a video camera.
443
00:20:25,431 --> 00:20:26,973
Ingmar!
444
00:20:27,145 --> 00:20:29,268
Have you noticed this?
445
00:20:31,953 --> 00:20:34,015
- What?
- The man with the camera.
446
00:20:34,115 --> 00:20:36,198
There. There he is. Look.
447
00:20:37,641 --> 00:20:40,065
Yeah, you're right.
448
00:20:40,355 --> 00:20:42,377
Holy shit.
449
00:20:42,961 --> 00:20:45,154
He's probably just shooting,
450
00:20:45,209 --> 00:20:48,193
you know, the behind-the-scenes shit.
451
00:20:48,253 --> 00:20:49,905
You know, there could be
something on the tape
452
00:20:49,951 --> 00:20:51,253
he has in his camera,
453
00:20:51,370 --> 00:20:53,393
something really interesting.
454
00:20:53,555 --> 00:20:54,585
We should try to find it.
455
00:20:54,633 --> 00:20:56,635
Oh, no. No.
456
00:20:58,045 --> 00:21:00,588
That's what I should've said
457
00:21:00,616 --> 00:21:02,399
if I was smart.
458
00:21:02,443 --> 00:21:04,305
But I didn't. I said...
459
00:21:04,429 --> 00:21:06,372
Yes.
460
00:21:06,472 --> 00:21:08,535
Did you just say "yes"?
461
00:21:08,976 --> 00:21:11,339
Yes.
462
00:21:20,712 --> 00:21:22,214
First of all, I would like to thank
463
00:21:22,314 --> 00:21:23,935
the Swedish Dicks for putting me
in contact with Taylor.
464
00:21:24,046 --> 00:21:28,231
And I would like to thank Taylor
Slow for making this video with me.
465
00:21:28,323 --> 00:21:30,026
Thank you, Taylor.
466
00:21:30,317 --> 00:21:31,338
Glad to be here.
467
00:21:31,597 --> 00:21:33,259
So now all you people back home
468
00:21:33,351 --> 00:21:35,895
who thought I was lying,
especially you, Preacher Dan,
469
00:21:36,098 --> 00:21:37,322
know that I wasn't.
470
00:21:37,449 --> 00:21:38,671
I'm not Taylor Slow,
471
00:21:39,572 --> 00:21:41,053
and Taylor Slow is not me.
472
00:21:41,144 --> 00:21:43,968
- Right?
- That's right.
473
00:21:44,266 --> 00:21:46,649
- [kisses]
- Oh!
474
00:21:46,788 --> 00:21:48,007
Sorry.
475
00:21:48,123 --> 00:21:49,117
That's a bad habit.
476
00:21:49,224 --> 00:21:52,758
I just... I've been
making movies for so long
477
00:21:52,848 --> 00:21:56,097
that whenever I'm on camera
with an attractive person
478
00:21:56,196 --> 00:21:59,260
I just can't help myself.
479
00:21:59,685 --> 00:22:03,891
- ?
- [kissing]
480
00:22:07,162 --> 00:22:10,907
Good! More tongue!
481
00:22:11,007 --> 00:22:12,189
[knocking]
482
00:22:12,242 --> 00:22:14,150
[man] Preacher Dan! Are you coming?
483
00:22:14,296 --> 00:22:18,041
Yeah, in a minute!
I'm just cleansing my soul!
484
00:22:18,316 --> 00:22:20,991
[kissing]
485
00:22:21,071 --> 00:22:25,184
- Synced & Corrected by Dragoniod -
www.addic7ed.com
486
00:22:25,394 --> 00:22:28,678
?
487
00:22:28,728 --> 00:22:33,278
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