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1
00:00:02,273 --> 00:00:05,376
- (Ding!)
- Good morning everyone!
2
00:00:05,377 --> 00:00:07,778
I have a flight to catch,
so let's make this quick.
3
00:00:07,779 --> 00:00:10,214
Beckett and Stephanie, Barb's
Chips is looking for a way
4
00:00:10,215 --> 00:00:12,750
to get themselves back on
people's minds so I need
5
00:00:12,751 --> 00:00:15,019
some brilliant ideas fast. No pressure.
6
00:00:15,020 --> 00:00:16,820
Aw, it's a good thing you picked Stephanie
7
00:00:16,821 --> 00:00:18,756
because she is all that and a bag of chips.
8
00:00:18,757 --> 00:00:20,791
And it's a good thing you picked Beckett
9
00:00:20,792 --> 00:00:23,193
'cause he's all dressed but nowhere to go.
10
00:00:23,194 --> 00:00:25,529
- (chuckles)
- Let's please try to be better.
11
00:00:25,530 --> 00:00:28,499
Yo, Bryce,
12
00:00:28,500 --> 00:00:31,068
what's with the suit? You
look like the final boss
13
00:00:31,069 --> 00:00:33,537
in a nineties video game.
14
00:00:33,538 --> 00:00:35,439
You look like a guy that would sue a dog.
15
00:00:35,440 --> 00:00:37,808
You look like a turtle at a cocktail party.
16
00:00:37,809 --> 00:00:41,512
You look like a baby
going for a job interview.
17
00:00:41,513 --> 00:00:43,881
Alright, are we all quite finished?
18
00:00:43,882 --> 00:00:46,283
I'm sorry, Bryce, I actually
think you look really great.
19
00:00:46,284 --> 00:00:48,218
Oh, ha-ha, Stephanie.
20
00:00:48,219 --> 00:00:50,220
With Dave away
21
00:00:50,221 --> 00:00:52,356
I thought I should look
my most authoritative.
22
00:00:52,357 --> 00:00:55,826
And because someone clicked
on that cute kitty virus,
23
00:00:55,827 --> 00:00:57,995
I've an IT specialist coming in today
24
00:00:57,996 --> 00:01:01,732
- to help fix our computer system.
- Bryce, Bryce, Bryce...
25
00:01:01,733 --> 00:01:04,268
when an adorable kitty
asks you to click on a link
26
00:01:04,269 --> 00:01:08,405
for more adorable kitties, you
click it. Just like this one.
27
00:01:08,406 --> 00:01:11,642
- D'oh, Gordon, no!
- Oh! Not a cat!
28
00:01:11,643 --> 00:01:13,711
(girl screaming - moaning)
29
00:01:13,712 --> 00:01:17,347
Come on Fill the lens
30
00:01:17,348 --> 00:01:19,583
With all your friends
31
00:01:19,584 --> 00:01:23,454
Oh Now
32
00:01:23,455 --> 00:01:25,856
Is forever
33
00:01:25,857 --> 00:01:29,493
Come on Fill the lens
34
00:01:29,494 --> 00:01:33,410
Subtitle sync and corrections
by awaqeded for www.addic7ed.com.
35
00:01:38,378 --> 00:01:39,653
OK, OK... Aah... OH!
36
00:01:39,654 --> 00:01:41,788
How about if... No, no-no-no.
37
00:01:41,789 --> 00:01:44,157
Oh! Maybe we could, um...
38
00:01:44,158 --> 00:01:47,661
- Sorry...
- Alright, OK, aah...
39
00:01:47,662 --> 00:01:50,897
- (Both gasp.)
- (both): No...
40
00:01:50,898 --> 00:01:54,434
- I got nothing.
- I got less than nothing.
41
00:01:54,435 --> 00:01:57,571
Hey, maybe we could...
42
00:01:57,572 --> 00:01:59,840
So far so good, is that
the whole idea or..?
43
00:01:59,841 --> 00:02:02,643
Dammit, Beckett, that was a
psych, you're supposed to finish
44
00:02:02,644 --> 00:02:05,345
- (together): my sentence...
- ...with something brilliant.
45
00:02:05,346 --> 00:02:07,481
- E equals MC squared?
- What?
46
00:02:07,482 --> 00:02:10,417
- I didn't come up with that.
- You know what? let's check
47
00:02:10,418 --> 00:02:12,552
the binder because you never
know when past Stephanie
48
00:02:12,553 --> 00:02:14,788
will inspire present Stephanie
to make future Stephanie
49
00:02:14,789 --> 00:02:17,057
- look like a genius.
- Ah yes,
50
00:02:17,058 --> 00:02:19,960
the Stephanie Lyons' big ole book of ideas.
51
00:02:19,961 --> 00:02:23,463
- Yeah.
- Let's have a look.
52
00:02:23,464 --> 00:02:25,365
"Come up with something like 'Got Milk'
53
00:02:25,366 --> 00:02:27,901
but more PR related."
54
00:02:27,902 --> 00:02:30,103
Give me the binder.
55
00:02:33,107 --> 00:02:36,443
Fifteen-year-old Beckett
had so many good ideas
56
00:02:36,444 --> 00:02:38,378
for potato chip flavors.
57
00:02:38,379 --> 00:02:40,547
Heavy Metal, Pop Rocks, BMX.
58
00:02:40,548 --> 00:02:43,216
Maybe if I spent less time
59
00:02:43,217 --> 00:02:45,085
thinking about potato chips,
more time talking to girls
60
00:02:45,086 --> 00:02:47,421
high school might actually
have been enjoyable.
61
00:02:47,422 --> 00:02:50,924
Chicks didn't dig your chip
flavors? That's a surprise!
62
00:02:50,925 --> 00:02:52,726
I just had no game.
63
00:02:52,727 --> 00:02:54,828
My best move for asking a
girl out was having Nelson
64
00:02:54,829 --> 00:02:57,164
yell, "Beckett likes you!"
and then running away.
65
00:02:57,165 --> 00:03:00,267
- Whatever... I got game now!
- Oh yeah? - Oh yeah.
66
00:03:00,268 --> 00:03:02,002
Does that involve Nelson still or..?
67
00:03:02,003 --> 00:03:05,205
No, no, now I just... straight up ask.
68
00:03:05,206 --> 00:03:07,774
Well, that'll work.
69
00:03:09,377 --> 00:03:12,713
Stephanie,
70
00:03:12,714 --> 00:03:14,514
- how would you like to...
- Hang on a second.
71
00:03:14,515 --> 00:03:17,784
- OK, I can do that, I just...
- Shut it, dummy!
72
00:03:17,785 --> 00:03:19,920
I just came up with an idea so brilliant
73
00:03:19,921 --> 00:03:22,522
that when you hear it, your
brains are gonna explode.
74
00:03:22,523 --> 00:03:26,960
Alright, tell the janitor to get the mop!
75
00:03:26,961 --> 00:03:30,163
Bryce? Aah...
76
00:03:33,901 --> 00:03:36,937
- (Ding!)
- Hello? Excuse me...
77
00:03:36,938 --> 00:03:39,406
- Hi!
- Hi! I think you called
78
00:03:39,407 --> 00:03:42,175
earlier, something about
a virus on the server?
79
00:03:42,176 --> 00:03:44,778
- You must be Bryce.
- Oh, must I?
80
00:03:44,779 --> 00:03:47,481
- Paula Rice.
- Oh, hi, Paula. - Sorry I'm late,
81
00:03:47,482 --> 00:03:49,316
I accidentally flashed a
group of Jehovah's witnesses
82
00:03:49,317 --> 00:03:51,051
walking over an air vent. I, uh,
83
00:03:51,052 --> 00:03:52,719
needed a few moments to apologize to them
84
00:03:52,720 --> 00:03:54,755
after possibly ruining their beliefs.
85
00:03:54,756 --> 00:03:57,791
Do you need a couple of copies
of The Watchtower? I have several.
86
00:03:57,792 --> 00:04:00,494
Yeah, I think there's some confusion.
87
00:04:00,495 --> 00:04:02,462
Oh! When you're walking
88
00:04:02,463 --> 00:04:04,698
over a vent with a skirt, air goes
89
00:04:04,699 --> 00:04:07,501
directly at your crotch
and tends to fly up.
90
00:04:07,502 --> 00:04:10,470
- That wasn't the confusion.
- Oh God!
91
00:04:10,471 --> 00:04:12,873
I just said crotch to
a stranger. I'm sorry.
92
00:04:12,874 --> 00:04:15,175
Oh no, that's totally
alright. No, I... I like
93
00:04:15,176 --> 00:04:17,511
all my introductions to
include the word crotch.
94
00:04:17,512 --> 00:04:20,614
- Ha ha! You're cute.
- Oh, thank you.
95
00:04:20,615 --> 00:04:23,850
Sometimes my mouth moves
faster than I can think.
96
00:04:23,851 --> 00:04:26,586
Anyway, um...
97
00:04:26,587 --> 00:04:28,455
I'm not really sure where
I should start. I suppose
98
00:04:28,456 --> 00:04:30,490
your boss would want
his computer fixed first.
99
00:04:30,491 --> 00:04:32,592
Bosses are always such hard asses.
100
00:04:32,593 --> 00:04:35,429
Oh, I wouldn't say that, it's
more of a handsome job creator
101
00:04:35,430 --> 00:04:38,999
with a, you know, surprisingly
good ass for a man of his age.
102
00:04:39,000 --> 00:04:41,802
Dealing with suits is not for me.
103
00:04:41,803 --> 00:04:44,304
- No?
- No, they're too... suity.
104
00:04:44,305 --> 00:04:46,740
- I prefer people like you and me.
- Right.
105
00:04:46,741 --> 00:04:48,442
- You know, regular people.
- Yeah, yeah.
106
00:04:48,443 --> 00:04:51,011
Anyway, I do not envy you.
107
00:04:51,012 --> 00:04:54,181
No one has ever said that to me before.
108
00:04:54,182 --> 00:04:56,116
Wow.
109
00:04:56,117 --> 00:04:58,084
Let me help you get set up, alright?
110
00:04:58,085 --> 00:05:00,420
- Sure! That'd be excellent.
- Yeah, right over here.
111
00:05:00,421 --> 00:05:02,422
- Right here? OK.
- Let me... get that for you.
112
00:05:02,423 --> 00:05:04,391
I'd love a cup of coffee if you don't mind.
113
00:05:04,392 --> 00:05:08,461
- No, I... I'll go get one.
- Super, super, thanks, thanks.
114
00:05:10,198 --> 00:05:13,300
Yo, Downton Abby,
115
00:05:13,301 --> 00:05:15,569
Internet's down at our office,
so I'm gonna be setting up shop
116
00:05:15,570 --> 00:05:18,371
- here today.
- Fascinating. Look.
117
00:05:18,372 --> 00:05:20,707
Ah... If I wanted to watch infomercials,
118
00:05:20,708 --> 00:05:23,176
- I'd move in with my Grandma.
- Wait for it...
119
00:05:23,177 --> 00:05:25,212
- Oh my God.
- I know.
120
00:05:25,213 --> 00:05:28,582
- Is that..?
- Whoooooooooaaa!
121
00:05:28,583 --> 00:05:30,784
Wave goodbye to spills and say hello...
122
00:05:30,785 --> 00:05:33,053
Gordon?! How is this possible
123
00:05:33,054 --> 00:05:35,455
that there's footage of
Gordon dumping cheesy puffs
124
00:05:35,456 --> 00:05:38,191
all over himself and we, as a people,
125
00:05:38,192 --> 00:05:40,126
aren't watching it every day?
126
00:05:40,127 --> 00:05:41,962
- Do you think it's him?
- Yes, I think it's him.
127
00:05:41,963 --> 00:05:44,698
- Me too.
- But I'm not sure.
128
00:05:44,699 --> 00:05:48,535
- Me neither. Are you doing anything today?
- Not anymore!
129
00:05:48,536 --> 00:05:51,338
Don't tell your boss
how fast I'm doing this.
130
00:05:51,339 --> 00:05:53,874
- I charge by the hour.
- Ah. Oh!
131
00:05:53,875 --> 00:05:56,176
You must be Paula. It's
very nice to meet you, I'm...
132
00:05:56,177 --> 00:05:59,346
Dave Lyons! Yes, and I'm
still Bryce McBradden,
133
00:05:59,347 --> 00:06:03,083
your executive assistant,
Mr. Lyons, isn't that correct?
134
00:06:03,084 --> 00:06:06,019
Yes!
135
00:06:06,020 --> 00:06:08,288
Of course it is... Bryce!
136
00:06:08,289 --> 00:06:10,557
- I'm Dave Lyons!
- (chuckling)
137
00:06:10,558 --> 00:06:12,592
Oh, and, sir,
138
00:06:12,593 --> 00:06:14,628
I should probably remind you
that somebody, probably somebody
139
00:06:14,629 --> 00:06:18,298
like me, needs to push back
your flight to Calgary today.
140
00:06:18,299 --> 00:06:21,635
Uh, yes! ...I understand.
141
00:06:21,636 --> 00:06:24,738
Well then, I guess... I'll just go
142
00:06:24,739 --> 00:06:27,607
- into my... office?
- Mm-hm!
143
00:06:27,608 --> 00:06:30,744
Here I go! Back to work, McBradden!
144
00:06:30,745 --> 00:06:33,613
Oh, hard-ass!
145
00:06:33,614 --> 00:06:36,483
The Big Kahuna wears a fanny pack?
146
00:06:36,484 --> 00:06:38,752
- A little weird, isn't it?
- Yeah, it is. Well, he's going
147
00:06:38,753 --> 00:06:41,288
for that German tourist
look that the ladies love.
148
00:06:41,289 --> 00:06:43,990
- Ah... excellent.
- Yeah.
149
00:06:43,991 --> 00:06:47,561
Ahem! I never do this, uh...
150
00:06:47,562 --> 00:06:49,429
mainly because I'm usually
trapped in a basement
151
00:06:49,430 --> 00:06:51,364
with a bunch of IT goblins...
152
00:06:51,365 --> 00:06:53,400
but... would you wanna have
153
00:06:53,401 --> 00:06:55,502
a drink or something with me later?
154
00:06:55,503 --> 00:06:59,306
Well, I don't really like to drink...
155
00:06:59,307 --> 00:07:02,108
but sure, yeah, let's do that, yeah.
156
00:07:02,109 --> 00:07:05,178
You know, Dave owns the bar downstairs.
157
00:07:05,179 --> 00:07:08,114
- I hate corporate douches.
- Me too! Yeah.
158
00:07:08,115 --> 00:07:10,083
You know what? Maybe
after that drink, we'll,
159
00:07:10,084 --> 00:07:12,185
you know, get a brick,
throw it through a window.
160
00:07:12,186 --> 00:07:13,887
- Yes, I'm in!
- Yes! Eat the rich!
161
00:07:13,888 --> 00:07:15,755
- Excellent.
- Yes!
162
00:07:15,756 --> 00:07:18,858
Whoooaaa!
163
00:07:18,859 --> 00:07:21,928
- This never gets old.
- OK, buddy!
164
00:07:21,929 --> 00:07:25,065
We've got ourselves a plan, I just
talked to Gordo, luring him here
165
00:07:25,066 --> 00:07:27,801
under the pretense that there's
a litter of abandoned kittens.
166
00:07:27,802 --> 00:07:31,037
Sweet! Lure him in with the
false pretense of kittens
167
00:07:31,038 --> 00:07:34,474
and then be like: "Booyakka! Are
you the dude in this infomercial?"
168
00:07:34,475 --> 00:07:37,277
- Here he comes, shh!
- Where?!
169
00:07:37,278 --> 00:07:40,513
Where is my army of cute fuzzy babies?
170
00:07:40,514 --> 00:07:42,449
Gordo! Quick, come here.
Check out this infomercial,
171
00:07:42,450 --> 00:07:45,218
- This remind you of anybody?
- Nope!
172
00:07:45,219 --> 00:07:47,954
Oh, come on, just look
for a second. Is this you?
173
00:07:47,955 --> 00:07:51,358
That person looks nothing like
me I only came down here to meet,
174
00:07:51,359 --> 00:07:54,427
and most likely adopt a
litter of abandoned kittens.
175
00:07:54,428 --> 00:07:56,997
Sorry, dude, we lied about the
kittens to get you down here.
176
00:07:56,998 --> 00:07:59,466
- It was a ruse?!
- Come on, just take a gander
177
00:07:59,467 --> 00:08:01,401
- at this infomercial.
- Leave it alone,
178
00:08:01,402 --> 00:08:04,070
it's not me! For shame!
179
00:08:05,740 --> 00:08:09,009
Whooooaaaa!
180
00:08:09,010 --> 00:08:12,479
- It is totally him.
- Booyakka!
181
00:08:12,480 --> 00:08:14,881
OK, OK...
182
00:08:14,882 --> 00:08:16,850
- I might have something.
- OK.
183
00:08:16,851 --> 00:08:19,085
So we get Barb's to drop
the Regular potato chips
184
00:08:19,086 --> 00:08:21,955
and replace them with "New Regular".
185
00:08:21,956 --> 00:08:25,725
- They're not improved, they're just new.
- Oh, OK!
186
00:08:25,726 --> 00:08:27,961
- Yeah?
- That is a horrible idea.
187
00:08:27,962 --> 00:08:30,397
- Alright, what have you got?
- OK,
188
00:08:30,398 --> 00:08:33,266
we get Barb's chips to launch a new flavor.
189
00:08:33,267 --> 00:08:35,168
A mash-up of all their other flavors.
190
00:08:35,169 --> 00:08:38,038
- I love it.
- Yeah?
191
00:08:38,039 --> 00:08:40,540
I love it, it's great. We're doing it, OK.
192
00:08:40,541 --> 00:08:43,143
Hey, uh, earlier, I was trying to...
193
00:08:43,144 --> 00:08:45,712
Wait, you haven't heard
the name yet: Swamp Water!
194
00:08:45,713 --> 00:08:47,714
- Yeah, I love it, I love it.
- You know when they mix
195
00:08:47,715 --> 00:08:50,250
all the pop flavors
together. What do you think?
196
00:08:50,251 --> 00:08:52,986
I think it's great. You know
what else I think is great?
197
00:08:52,987 --> 00:08:54,888
- Me!
- Yes, yeah.
198
00:08:54,889 --> 00:08:57,290
YEAH! (chuckles)
199
00:08:57,291 --> 00:08:59,159
- OK!
- Score Stephanie!
200
00:08:59,160 --> 00:09:01,461
Oh boy! There it is.
201
00:09:01,462 --> 00:09:03,096
This is me pouring Gatorade on myself.
202
00:09:03,097 --> 00:09:04,898
- I know.
- 'Cause I'm a winner!
203
00:09:04,899 --> 00:09:07,600
Ha ha! Alright,
204
00:09:07,601 --> 00:09:09,969
I've gotta go get a mock-up
of this chip poster made
205
00:09:09,970 --> 00:09:12,472
- 'cause our pitch is in an hour.
- Yeah.
206
00:09:12,473 --> 00:09:14,541
- Wash that Gatorade off!
- Will do!
207
00:09:14,542 --> 00:09:16,910
OK.
208
00:09:16,911 --> 00:09:19,012
Also, Beckett likes you.
209
00:09:20,748 --> 00:09:23,883
Thanks for showing me around. And
you really don't have to stay with me.
210
00:09:23,884 --> 00:09:26,720
I promise I won't steal
any company secrets.
211
00:09:26,721 --> 00:09:28,955
Oh, I don't think
WikiLeaks is that interested
212
00:09:28,956 --> 00:09:31,057
in our plans to make celery cool.
213
00:09:31,058 --> 00:09:34,194
McBradden! Over here right now!
214
00:09:34,195 --> 00:09:37,464
Oh-oh, looks like I'm in trouble.
215
00:09:37,465 --> 00:09:40,066
Sir, I have rescheduled your flight
216
00:09:40,067 --> 00:09:41,835
twice already. Should I just cancel?
217
00:09:41,836 --> 00:09:44,471
- Yeah, I think it's probably...
- Well, I'm almost done here
218
00:09:44,472 --> 00:09:47,373
and I couldn't have done it without Bryce!
219
00:09:47,374 --> 00:09:50,243
Well, it's only a fair trade;
moral support for tech support.
220
00:09:50,244 --> 00:09:52,846
- (phone ring)
- Oh, excuse me.
221
00:09:52,847 --> 00:09:54,948
Dave Lyons'... phone.
222
00:09:54,949 --> 00:09:57,984
Yeah, this is Bryce McBradden
answering for Dave Lyons.
223
00:09:57,985 --> 00:09:59,886
Oh, hey, T-Mack!
224
00:09:59,887 --> 00:10:02,989
- Yeah, that is a sitch.
- T-Mack is a client?
225
00:10:02,990 --> 00:10:05,058
- Yeah.
- I just love his sick beats.
226
00:10:05,059 --> 00:10:07,961
- My God, you're so white!
- I know, I am.
227
00:10:07,962 --> 00:10:09,863
Oh, you've been accused
of ripping off a song.
228
00:10:09,864 --> 00:10:11,297
That's a fairly straightforward problem.
229
00:10:11,298 --> 00:10:13,266
Yeah, that shouldn't be too difficult.
230
00:10:13,267 --> 00:10:16,369
Something even an executive assistant,
like myself can take care of.
231
00:10:16,370 --> 00:10:18,972
Nonsense, you ninny! Why don't you go...
232
00:10:18,973 --> 00:10:21,875
dry clean my coffee.
233
00:10:21,876 --> 00:10:24,778
This is David Lyons speaking.
I don't know why my voice
234
00:10:24,779 --> 00:10:27,046
sounds different, why does
your voice sound so different?
235
00:10:27,047 --> 00:10:29,749
- Oh, right, Auto-tune.
- Do you think he could get me
236
00:10:29,750 --> 00:10:31,451
- an autograph?
- Hm, with Dave on the job,
237
00:10:31,452 --> 00:10:33,319
he might not be famous that much longer.
238
00:10:33,320 --> 00:10:35,388
Alright, you tell Willie Grits
239
00:10:35,389 --> 00:10:37,791
that it is impossible for
you to have stolen his tracks
240
00:10:37,792 --> 00:10:39,759
because you wrote yours first.
241
00:10:39,760 --> 00:10:41,728
You weren't even born
when he wrote the song?
242
00:10:41,729 --> 00:10:43,530
Then... burn your birth records!
243
00:10:43,531 --> 00:10:46,466
Dave Lyons here.
244
00:10:46,467 --> 00:10:49,636
Yeah, hey, T-Mack, here's what you do
245
00:10:49,637 --> 00:10:52,338
you tell him it was an
homage and you invite Willie
246
00:10:52,339 --> 00:10:54,574
to go on tour with you.
Since he hasn't worked
247
00:10:54,575 --> 00:10:56,809
since prohibition, he should be thrilled.
248
00:10:58,846 --> 00:11:01,514
- You're Dave Lyons.
- Yeah, hi,
249
00:11:01,515 --> 00:11:04,484
Dave Lyons, corporate douche.
250
00:11:10,384 --> 00:11:12,267
Swamp Water.
251
00:11:12,268 --> 00:11:16,371
It's the kind of chip so bizarre
that people have to try it.
252
00:11:16,372 --> 00:11:18,740
Does it sound bad or dangerous?
253
00:11:18,741 --> 00:11:22,410
Sure, but that's gonna make people want it.
254
00:11:22,411 --> 00:11:24,679
Next thing you know, when
someone says potato chips,
255
00:11:24,680 --> 00:11:29,417
they're gonna be thinking
Barb's, Barb's, Barb's.
256
00:11:29,418 --> 00:11:32,487
That is the worst idea I've
heard since someone pitched me:
257
00:11:32,488 --> 00:11:36,458
"New Regular" last year.
258
00:11:36,459 --> 00:11:40,228
Swamp Water makes me
think of damp, soggy chips.
259
00:11:40,229 --> 00:11:42,897
A chip should have crunch.
260
00:11:42,898 --> 00:11:44,833
A chip IS
261
00:11:44,834 --> 00:11:47,235
the crunch!
262
00:11:47,236 --> 00:11:50,171
I'm very disappointed.
263
00:11:50,172 --> 00:11:53,541
What if we put more chips
in the same sized bag?
264
00:11:53,542 --> 00:11:56,411
Go on, you've piqued my interest.
265
00:11:56,412 --> 00:11:59,147
When I was a kid,
266
00:11:59,148 --> 00:12:02,484
my Nana gave me a dollar. I went
straight to the grocery store
267
00:12:02,485 --> 00:12:04,819
and bought a bag of chips.
A regular-sized bag of chips.
268
00:12:04,820 --> 00:12:07,822
But when I opened it, for
whatever reason, inside,
269
00:12:07,823 --> 00:12:09,791
it was like two bags of chips.
270
00:12:09,792 --> 00:12:13,194
I was beside myself. It was one
of the best days of my childhood.
271
00:12:13,195 --> 00:12:15,263
It's perfect!
272
00:12:15,264 --> 00:12:18,099
We look forward to working with you.
273
00:12:18,100 --> 00:12:21,035
Gentlemen, to the chip-mobile!
274
00:12:21,036 --> 00:12:23,605
We did it!
275
00:12:23,606 --> 00:12:27,509
Well... you did it. She hated my idea.
276
00:12:27,510 --> 00:12:30,378
Oh, come on, we all
have bad ideas sometimes.
277
00:12:30,379 --> 00:12:32,947
Bad ideas?
278
00:12:32,948 --> 00:12:35,817
This morning, you said that you loved it.
279
00:12:35,818 --> 00:12:38,286
Oh I did! I loved parts of it.
280
00:12:38,287 --> 00:12:41,289
- What do you mean parts of it?
- Well I guess, to be fair,
281
00:12:41,290 --> 00:12:43,258
I hadn't really heard the whole thing.
282
00:12:43,259 --> 00:12:45,160
But you let me pitch the whole thing
283
00:12:45,161 --> 00:12:46,995
and I just humiliated myself.
284
00:12:46,996 --> 00:12:49,564
- I'm sorry, I was distracted.
- Why?
285
00:12:49,565 --> 00:12:51,933
What was so distracting that
you couldn't even listen to me?
286
00:12:51,934 --> 00:12:53,735
I was trying to ask you out.
287
00:12:53,736 --> 00:12:56,671
On a date.
288
00:12:56,672 --> 00:12:59,274
Oh.
289
00:12:59,275 --> 00:13:01,442
Yeah.
290
00:13:01,443 --> 00:13:04,813
I...
291
00:13:04,814 --> 00:13:08,583
I guess sometimes we do all have bad ideas.
292
00:13:13,789 --> 00:13:17,125
- Ahem!
- Bryce!
293
00:13:17,126 --> 00:13:19,327
I mean, you're... still Bryce, right?
294
00:13:19,328 --> 00:13:21,996
It's been a little "Freaky
Friday" in here today.
295
00:13:21,997 --> 00:13:24,632
Yes it has. It's a pleasure
296
00:13:24,633 --> 00:13:26,467
to officially make your
acquaintance, Paula.
297
00:13:26,468 --> 00:13:29,037
Thanks. It's been quite the day.
298
00:13:29,038 --> 00:13:31,306
I'm really embarrassed.
I mean, I liked Dave
299
00:13:31,307 --> 00:13:33,575
when he was you. Not you, when he was him,
300
00:13:33,576 --> 00:13:35,677
but not being him,
because he was being you.
301
00:13:35,678 --> 00:13:38,446
He was never you. I mean... I like Dave!
302
00:13:38,447 --> 00:13:40,515
And enter Dave.
303
00:13:40,516 --> 00:13:42,517
Oh God!
304
00:13:42,518 --> 00:13:44,419
How much of that did you hear?
305
00:13:44,420 --> 00:13:47,021
Well, I heard "I like Dave."
306
00:13:47,022 --> 00:13:49,624
Then I just sort of
mentally erased the rest.
307
00:13:49,625 --> 00:13:53,194
I'm sorry about the misunderstanding.
308
00:13:53,195 --> 00:13:56,531
You mean when you lied
to me about who you were?
309
00:13:56,532 --> 00:13:58,600
Technically,
310
00:13:58,601 --> 00:14:00,935
you assumed I was someone else
and I just didn't correct you.
311
00:14:00,936 --> 00:14:04,405
But... yeah, then I pretty quickly
crossed the line into lying.
312
00:14:04,406 --> 00:14:06,641
Uh-uh, well, I just crossed the line
313
00:14:06,642 --> 00:14:09,210
into not wanting to have a drink with you.
314
00:14:09,211 --> 00:14:11,879
- Really?
- Yeah.
315
00:14:17,920 --> 00:14:20,922
Well... we still have each other, sir.
316
00:14:20,923 --> 00:14:24,559
That is in no way a consolation, Bryce.
317
00:14:24,560 --> 00:14:27,028
Shall I book you on the
next available flight?
318
00:14:27,029 --> 00:14:29,631
Then see if I can get them to
take off any earlier than that?
319
00:14:29,632 --> 00:14:32,400
Bryce, did you learn nothing from being me?
320
00:14:32,401 --> 00:14:35,770
Right. Dave Lyons never says "die"!
321
00:14:35,771 --> 00:14:38,272
Unless he's screaming
it over the vanquished.
322
00:14:43,779 --> 00:14:46,981
- We have the fireplace network.
- His favorite show.
323
00:14:46,982 --> 00:14:49,183
- We got this beautiful chair.
- His favorite kind.
324
00:14:49,184 --> 00:14:51,352
And we've got this:
325
00:14:51,353 --> 00:14:53,855
a big bowl of cheesy puffs.
326
00:14:53,856 --> 00:14:56,457
Alright, so he'll come
in here, he'll see the TV,
327
00:14:56,458 --> 00:14:59,427
he'll take a seat, put his feet
up, start eating the cheesy puffs,
328
00:14:59,428 --> 00:15:01,796
and then, boom! he'll
dump them all over himself
329
00:15:01,797 --> 00:15:03,965
and we'll know it was him!
330
00:15:03,966 --> 00:15:06,234
We lead such rich lives.
331
00:15:06,235 --> 00:15:09,570
- Oh, I think he's coming.
- Right, right, right.
332
00:15:09,571 --> 00:15:13,074
- Uh...
- Go, go, go. Get down.
333
00:15:13,075 --> 00:15:15,510
Ooh!
334
00:15:15,511 --> 00:15:17,612
Ooh!
335
00:15:17,613 --> 00:15:20,781
Oh, cheesy puffs!
336
00:15:25,287 --> 00:15:28,056
Hm. Whoooaaa!
337
00:15:28,057 --> 00:15:30,291
Ha! We got you!
338
00:15:34,196 --> 00:15:36,631
I knew it was you,
Gordo. You broke my heart.
339
00:15:36,632 --> 00:15:39,567
OK, fine, I admit it!
340
00:15:39,568 --> 00:15:41,569
You two couldn't leave well enough alone.
341
00:15:41,570 --> 00:15:45,373
What do you do at Christmas, go around
telling kids there's no Tooth Fairy?
342
00:15:45,374 --> 00:15:48,676
I'm leaving forever.
343
00:15:48,677 --> 00:15:51,446
I'll be at my desk.
344
00:15:51,447 --> 00:15:54,048
You watched Godfather II last night, huh?
345
00:15:54,049 --> 00:15:57,585
I did watch Godfather II
last night, I did, yeah.
346
00:15:57,586 --> 00:16:00,521
Oh...
347
00:16:00,522 --> 00:16:03,691
Hey, I'm really sorry
348
00:16:03,692 --> 00:16:06,260
- about pretending to be Bryce.
- Oh, I don't know.
349
00:16:06,261 --> 00:16:08,363
Bryce seems cool. And
he hasn't high-jacked
350
00:16:08,364 --> 00:16:10,531
anyone's identity yet, so that's a plus.
351
00:16:10,532 --> 00:16:12,934
I just wanted to get to know you
352
00:16:12,935 --> 00:16:15,470
and I didn't think you wanted
to get to know Dave Lyons.
353
00:16:15,471 --> 00:16:17,472
I don't understand why
you're being so persistent.
354
00:16:17,473 --> 00:16:20,341
We're like complete opposites. I'm a mess.
355
00:16:20,342 --> 00:16:23,911
OK! Well, you know what? I can be a mess.
356
00:16:23,912 --> 00:16:26,255
- How?
- I'm a terrible father
357
00:16:26,256 --> 00:16:27,374
and a horrible husband.
358
00:16:27,375 --> 00:16:30,351
Ha, well, now you're
just trying to charm me.
359
00:16:30,352 --> 00:16:32,820
Yeah. And I've also
been putting off a flight
360
00:16:32,821 --> 00:16:34,722
all day just so I could be with you.
361
00:16:34,723 --> 00:16:36,457
And you just missed another one, sir.
362
00:16:36,458 --> 00:16:39,293
- Wow!
- See? Yeah,
363
00:16:39,294 --> 00:16:41,863
wouldn't it be kind of a crime
not have a drink with me now?
364
00:16:41,864 --> 00:16:44,966
No one's ever missed a
flight before because of me.
365
00:16:44,967 --> 00:16:48,202
Kind of the modern equivalent
of killing a dragon!
366
00:16:48,203 --> 00:16:50,805
- So, what do you say?
- Alright,
367
00:16:50,806 --> 00:16:52,874
OK, but don't blame me
368
00:16:52,875 --> 00:16:54,876
if I accidentally break your valuables
369
00:16:54,877 --> 00:16:56,844
and-or sneeze in your mouth.
370
00:16:56,845 --> 00:16:59,180
Alright and don't blame me
371
00:16:59,181 --> 00:17:02,617
if we eventually get divorced.
372
00:17:05,154 --> 00:17:07,155
What can I get you?
373
00:17:07,156 --> 00:17:09,157
Aah... I enjoy a good scotch.
374
00:17:09,158 --> 00:17:10,992
Ah, see? We do have something in common.
375
00:17:10,993 --> 00:17:12,760
With a splash of grape juice.
376
00:17:12,761 --> 00:17:15,329
Me too!
377
00:17:15,330 --> 00:17:17,265
I'll go... Oh, hey,
378
00:17:17,266 --> 00:17:19,967
this is my daughter over there.
I'll say hi and get the drinks.
379
00:17:19,968 --> 00:17:22,737
Oh, wow! You are... really old!
380
00:17:22,738 --> 00:17:25,039
- I know, it's crazy, isn't it?
- Yeah!
381
00:17:25,040 --> 00:17:27,708
- I'll be right back, 'K...
- OK!
382
00:17:27,709 --> 00:17:29,677
Uh, hey, sweetheart, I hear
383
00:17:29,678 --> 00:17:31,746
you made the Barb's Chips people happy.
384
00:17:31,747 --> 00:17:33,881
Beckett made them happy,
385
00:17:33,882 --> 00:17:36,084
I just flailed around with a terrible idea.
386
00:17:36,085 --> 00:17:38,219
Yeah, that's what I heard. Yeah.
387
00:17:38,220 --> 00:17:40,688
But I get a feeling that's not
what's upsetting you, is it?
388
00:17:40,689 --> 00:17:43,257
No, it's Beckett.
389
00:17:43,258 --> 00:17:46,494
You know, sweetheart,
I'm a very successful man.
390
00:17:46,495 --> 00:17:51,399
But I've had some spectacular
failures in relationships.
391
00:17:51,400 --> 00:17:53,968
- What are you trying to say?
- I'm saying
392
00:17:53,969 --> 00:17:56,804
that men can do stupid things
when trying to impress a girl.
393
00:17:56,805 --> 00:18:00,007
Speaking of which, can I get
2 Scotches with a splash of...
394
00:18:00,008 --> 00:18:02,043
grape juice, please?
395
00:18:02,044 --> 00:18:04,946
Thank you. I know...
396
00:18:04,947 --> 00:18:07,782
But if it's somebody you really care about,
397
00:18:07,783 --> 00:18:10,485
you know, I think it's
worthwhile giving him a shot.
398
00:18:10,486 --> 00:18:13,054
- Hm?
- Yeah.
399
00:18:13,055 --> 00:18:14,889
How's it going with you?
400
00:18:14,890 --> 00:18:16,824
It's going good,
actually, it's going, uh...
401
00:18:16,825 --> 00:18:19,093
very nicely.
402
00:18:19,094 --> 00:18:21,195
And speaking of, time
to go over there and...
403
00:18:21,196 --> 00:18:24,699
- be stupid for a little while.
- OK.
404
00:18:24,700 --> 00:18:26,667
- Oh, wait, Dad.
- Hm?
405
00:18:26,668 --> 00:18:29,704
- Thank you.
- Oh, oh, sweetheart.
406
00:18:29,705 --> 00:18:32,507
Thank you.
407
00:18:32,508 --> 00:18:35,309
Hm! Hm!
408
00:18:35,310 --> 00:18:38,245
- And cheers!
- Cheers!
409
00:18:40,115 --> 00:18:43,317
(appreciative): Aah!
410
00:18:43,318 --> 00:18:46,187
(reluctant): Aah!
411
00:18:48,490 --> 00:18:51,225
We wanted to apologize
412
00:18:51,226 --> 00:18:53,728
for making you feel embarrassed
about the infomercial.
413
00:18:53,729 --> 00:18:56,364
I'm not hurt or embarrassed,
are you kidding me?
414
00:18:56,365 --> 00:18:59,634
I was a star. Livin' fast and livin' large.
415
00:18:59,635 --> 00:19:01,769
Had a fridge full of root beer
416
00:19:01,770 --> 00:19:04,105
and a freezer full of Pizza Pops.
417
00:19:04,106 --> 00:19:06,574
So why were you denying it all day?
418
00:19:06,575 --> 00:19:09,477
I had to sign a non-disclosure agreement.
419
00:19:09,478 --> 00:19:11,846
I'm not allowed to talk
about the Trough Bib.
420
00:19:11,847 --> 00:19:14,382
- Oh!
- Why, was it made with lead?
421
00:19:14,383 --> 00:19:16,851
No, unfortunately,
422
00:19:16,852 --> 00:19:18,753
if you fell asleep while
using it, you ended up
423
00:19:18,754 --> 00:19:20,855
suffocating to death on your snacks.
424
00:19:20,856 --> 00:19:23,558
- How many people died?
- 426.
425
00:19:23,559 --> 00:19:25,960
- I'm sorry.
- Oh, don't be,
426
00:19:25,961 --> 00:19:27,895
I didn't know them. But I was known
427
00:19:27,896 --> 00:19:29,797
as the "Death Bib Kid" for a while.
428
00:19:29,798 --> 00:19:31,899
Kind of killed my acting career.
429
00:19:31,900 --> 00:19:34,936
Actually hired Dave to help me
turn it around and he just said:
430
00:19:34,937 --> 00:19:37,438
- "Quit acting."
- Ha!
431
00:19:37,439 --> 00:19:39,774
So, I guess that's your origin story.
432
00:19:39,775 --> 00:19:41,346
- Hm.
- It's a lot darker
433
00:19:41,347 --> 00:19:43,044
- than I thought it would be.
- Yeah, not as dark
434
00:19:43,045 --> 00:19:44,912
as I had hoped.
435
00:19:44,913 --> 00:19:47,415
Just dark enough.
436
00:19:51,820 --> 00:19:53,554
(Ding!)
437
00:19:53,555 --> 00:19:55,890
Hey!
438
00:19:55,891 --> 00:19:59,493
I wanna talk to you and I
wanna talk to you right now.
439
00:19:59,494 --> 00:20:02,330
Good because I wanna talk to you too.
440
00:20:02,331 --> 00:20:04,732
Look, I know my timing was bad,
441
00:20:04,733 --> 00:20:06,701
but your timing was equally as bad.
442
00:20:06,702 --> 00:20:08,936
I've tried to ask you
out probably ten times
443
00:20:08,937 --> 00:20:11,739
and every time somehow, you manage
to find a way to interrupt me.
444
00:20:11,740 --> 00:20:13,641
It's always "No, no, I got work to do"
445
00:20:13,642 --> 00:20:15,543
or "Hold on, I'm dumping
Gatorade on my head" or "Hey,
446
00:20:15,544 --> 00:20:18,946
"look at this hot cop
I found, he's my boy..."
447
00:20:24,253 --> 00:20:26,287
You see, there you go interrupting again!
448
00:20:26,288 --> 00:20:29,090
I'm sorry, did you have more to say?
449
00:20:29,091 --> 00:20:31,926
Nah, I'm done talking.
450
00:20:36,565 --> 00:20:39,333
You know, at this rate, you're
never gonna get to ask me out.
451
00:20:45,888 --> 00:20:48,223
Has this ever happened to you?
452
00:20:48,224 --> 00:20:50,993
Whooooooooa!
453
00:20:50,994 --> 00:20:54,063
Wave goodbye to spills and say hello
454
00:20:54,064 --> 00:20:56,765
to the revolutionary Trough Bib!
455
00:20:56,766 --> 00:21:00,035
I'm finally eating with ease!
456
00:21:00,036 --> 00:21:03,272
Eat hands free in our
patented four liter container.
457
00:21:03,273 --> 00:21:06,442
I'll never use my arms again.
458
00:21:06,443 --> 00:21:10,012
Operators are standing by.
Sold wherever things are sold.
459
00:21:10,013 --> 00:21:12,948
Don't wait, order now and
receive another Trough Bib
460
00:21:12,949 --> 00:21:14,683
for the price of a second Trough Bib.
461
00:21:14,684 --> 00:21:17,319
Will cause lifelong neck damage.
462
00:21:18,399 --> 00:21:24,773
Subtitle sync and corrections
by awaqeded for www.addic7ed.com.
463
00:21:28,983 --> 00:21:31,485
For shame!
464
00:21:31,486 --> 00:21:33,954
(chuckling)
465
00:21:34,004 --> 00:21:38,554
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