Original subtitles

ts)

(birds chirp)

Hurry up before we realize

that sky diving over a volcano is a bad idea.

(efforts)

Aw, crud.

That's what you get for rushing.

I'll just use my new Build-It-Box.

(types, zap)

Is that a gateway to a parallel dimension of bolt people?

Not exactly.

It uses 3D modelling to replicate everyday objects.

That's why it's not called the 'parallel dimension bolt box.'

Tails, you can create anything with this machine!

Not just tiny bolts.

You're right!

(whir, wind)

(clonk) Yeah!

Why do you hate fun, Tails?!

You could build cool stuff, like a car,

a pizza oven,

or even... a giant bolt!

Building a car or oven requires a larger Build-it-Box.

Which I don't have.

Use this to build a bigger Bag-It-Box...

Build a begger Built-It-Box...

Baggy box buzzard...

Saying that isn't so simple.

20,000 refill cartridges later,

and we're finally done.

Now let's make a cool thing.

The biggest bolt in the world!

Or a pizza oven or a car?

Car sounds good, too.

With a built-in pizza oven!

If we're going to make a car,

it needs to be multi-functional.

Functional-schmunctional.

It should be Monster-Trucktional!

With giant, pavement-crushing wheels!

And someone mentioned a pizza oven. Huh?

We need something cute and fashionable,

loaded with offensive weapons!

It should be camouflaged, ya dink!

Hello! We're making a car!

First, it's got to be fast.

(buzz)

Huh?

Maybe we should each make our own car.

The Sonic Speedster's all about one thing:

It's the fastest car there is.

Gotta be; it's mine.

Sonic's got speed,

but does he have...

tires?

The optimal vehicle is prepared for every contingency,

be it pot holes, flash floods, or rude drivers.

My ride's the perfect car for the modern woman.

Great for cruising to the beach with the top down,

and pulverizing anyone in my way!

My car's got the latest in stealth technology:

twigs and leaves and stuff.

(blast)

(tires screech)

Seeing them all together puts things into perspective.

Like how much better mine is than all of yours.

My car could mop the floor with any of these jalopies.

I'd like to see you try.

Obviously, mine's the best.

If only we could pit one vehicle against another in a competition

or, for want of a better word, "race".

Are you being sarcastic or dim?

I honestly can't tell anymore.

Neither can I!

(heavy rock music)

You guys ready?

Ready to kick your butt.

Three...

Two...

What's going on here?

Oh, hi Mayor.

This week, the gang all made cars.

We want to find out which is the best!

If you're going to be racing on a public road,

it'll need to be an official event.

You must go through the proper channels,

pay the ludicrous taxes and fees,

and it must be open to all citizens.

Not everything that goes on around here is about you five.

Really? It sure feels like it.

Fine! We'll get a permit.

Hope this doesn't take too long.

It's been a long, arduous eight month process,

but the permits have been issued,

and race day is finally upon us!

This event has brought out local hero,

Sonic the Hedgehog,

some dingus from the post office,

and incompetent fry-jockey, Dave the Intern.

Eh. It's such a shame...

You worked hard on your cars, and you'll all eat my dust.

The only thing I'll be eating is a victory sundae...

With all my favorite flavors:

vanilla, French vanilla, vanilla bean, garlic...

Now wait just a second, Egghead.

You can't race in the Eggmobile.

It's a car race. You need wheels.

Orbot! Cubot!

(robots struggle)

(crunch)

(chuckles)

When the Mayor drops the flag,

drivers run to their cars, start them, and the race is on.

Other than that, there are no rules!

Really, no rules?

That sounds dangerous.

(whoosh)

And they're off!

Sonic takes an early lead!

And in other unsurprising news, grass is green,

my ex-wife is taking the beach house.

(efforts)

Eh!

(seat belt clicks, engine revs)

(tires screech)

(cars racing)

Everything looks so close!

Ah!

What's wrong, Barker? Can't catch up?

(squirt)

(tires screech)

(thud, creak)

It's been a privilege snarking with you today.

(creaking)

(crash)

ar(cs whizzing)

How's my tailwind taste?

Not as good as this pizza from my built-in pizza oven.

Move it or lose it, toots!

You screaming like a lunatic defeats the camouflage !

I hate rush hour traffic!

(beep, blast)

(explosion)

(cars, tree crashes)

Woohoo!

(beep, car revs)

(thump, screeching)

(crash)

I should've sacrificed some speed for better handling.

But on the other hand...

(tires screech)

(car honks)

(chuckles)

(tires screech)

Oh great! Knickels is on my tail...

But not for long...

(beep, spin)

(blast)

(gasps)

(tires deflating)

(creaking)

Ha! I knew wheels on the roof was a really smart idea.

(tires screeching)

(crash)

(groans)

Ah!

How'd he get ahead of me?

(tires screeching)

Whoa!

Thanks, Dave! You were very helpful.

(cars)

(splat) Oh!

Hey! I didn't order this!

Now I know how our customers feel all the time...

(crash)

I got the perfect accessory for your car.

It'll really make it pop!

(shwing)

Ah!

(tires screech)

(both scream)

(crash)

Oh!

(click, clonk)

Now to switch to landing gear...

Ah!

How strange: the fox flies, but the bird needs a jet pack?

(tires screeching)

(revving)

Not so fast around these turns, are you, Sonic?

(impacts)

(explosion)

Whoa!

(crash)

Looks like Sonic's out of the race.

Too bad. So sad.

(chuckles)

(rattles)

(soft cheering)

(soft cheering)

(clonk) Ah!

We took this race way too seriously.

None of us are going to win.

Eggman's probably parading before he's even finished.

If we can repair your car,

you'll still have a chance.

Just need a few parts...

(whiz) Got it.

(whiz) One more.

There it is.

(clonk)

(soft cheering)

And Eggman takes another premature victory lap.

Why shouldn't he?

He's got this one in the bag.

Barring any potential poetic justice.

(whiz)

(car revs)

(soft cheering)

(squelch)

Can't beat Sonic on an empty stomach.

(beep)

(crash)

(beep)

Oh look. A moving bush.

Hey, wait a second!

The winner isn't a foregone conclusion!

Maybe it is,

depending on your knowledge of story structure.

With all that junk, your car's weighed down!

(laugh) I was right to celebrate early after all!

(beep)

Sonic wins! Sonic wins!

Sonic wins!

(crowd cheering)

Thank you, fans and participants.

This was the greatest race I've ever seen.

(cheers)

"Everyone's a winner who tries their best"?

What the...?

But, these are just participation trophies.

Read it and weep, Sonic!

It says I'm a winner too!

(grumbles)

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