Original subtitles

Grr!

(Battle cry)

Oh!

They call Sonic a hero because he can beat that guy?

I could beat that nitwit with just one third of my robot army!

But would anybody call me a hero? No!

What I need is my own mech suit to show these plebeians

how fragile their meaningless existence is.

- Dude, dark. - Oh, sorry.

Haven't had my morning coffee yet.

I always get so cranky wanky.

Look at this thing!

Deflector shields, tractor beams, lasers, power windows.

This is my 9th symphony.

No batteries? But I just charged the thing!

I guess all these features are using too much juice.

I bet the power windows put me over the top.

May I suggest you simply remove some features?

May I suggest I simply remove your head?

(Groans)

- Eggman seems despondent. - Probably has jury duty.

Well, I'm gonna go talk to him.

Our dynamic with Eggman is very confusing.

Really? As far as I know, this is how

grown men and animal-people always interact.

- What's wrong, Eggman? - Oh, the usual.

Built the best mech suit literally ever

and can't find aawn esome enough power source to handle it!

Wish I could help you,

but since you're probably building this to destroy us,

I don't think helping is in my best interest.

But maybe you can talk to someone else?

Oh, like I'll just run into someone who understands

the ups and downs of mech-suit ownership!

(Sigh)

(Groans)

I'm just sick of Sonic winning all the time.

Ha! Tell me about it, Broseph!

It's as if we're not allowed to win.

Like there's a strict set of formulaic guidelines.

Sigh. And my mech suit would beat him every time

if I could get to the Tummel Crystal.

- Tummel-ho-ha-what? - The legendary Tummel Crystal.

That thing could power any mech suit.

It's believed to be buried in the catacombs

below The Buddy Buddy Temple. So... Oh, well.

Too bad about that. Now, if you'll excuse me,

I'm off to get something other than the Tummel Crystal,

like a potato or something.

Don't follow me! (Chuckles)

Warning. Incoming magnetic pulsar.

AI malfunction imminent. Will I dream, Eggman?

- Aaah! - Aaah!

Aaah-aaah-aaah!

Aaah-aaah-aaah!

Aaaaaaaaaah!

Aaaaaaaaaah!

Ho-cha! Ho-cha!

Oh, perfect. They're nitwits.

Oh, great cyborg centaur,

please spare our worthless lives!

All right, fine. I won't destroy you.

But you must swear eternal servitude to me.

Done and done! Now, as is custom in our culture,

we will polish and shine your glorious metal butt!

Yeah, that's OK. My metal bum is shiny already.

What I really want is for you to help me find

the legendary Tummel Crystal,

which is buried deep within these cave walls.

Well, that sounds like a lotta work.

I don't care how you do it, but it's the only thing I want.

Oh, and an awesome cape. And maybe a hat.

- Aaaaaaaaaaaah! - Aaaaaaaaaaaah!

Sonic, just admit it. We're lost.

Trust me. I know where to go.

- Wait. This is Gogoba Village. - Maybe trusting me was stupid.

Let's go before we get Gogoba'd into doing something annoying.

AMY: It's kinda weird, but the place looks empty.

Except for me. But of course I don't count.

Chopped Liver is my middle name! I'd change it,

but the county clerk was taken away by Froglodytes,

- along with everyone else. - That's terrible.

Oh, I'll be fine. And I'm sure my friends and relatives

are thrilled to be captured and put to work in the mines!

I'll just enjoy the quiet while all that my civilisation created

is lost to time.

OK, we get it. We'll save them and bring them home.

Told ya.

Ugh! Argh! This hammer is so heavy!

That's why you're doing it and not me!

And the rocks are so hard to break.

Of course they're hard to break! They're rocks!

- Can I ask a question? - No!

- How was I supposed to know? - That's a question!

You're the worst servants! Guards! Seize them!

- Uh... Both of them? - Yes! Both of them!

I just wanted to know if we're supposed to fill out time cards.

Time cards?

What part of eternal servitude don't you understand?

So, how's that mining going?

These Gogobas can't do anything.

Well, someone's gotta dig up my Tummel Crystal,

and it's either gonna be them or you.

Very well. Back to work!

- But we're on break. - Break?

Oh, well. We tried. Poor Gogobas.

Come on. We have to save them!

I know.

(Chatter)

(Hammering)

Ow! Why was that grape a coconut?

- Aaaaaaaaaaaah! - Aaaaaaaaaaaah!

Great Lord Metalbutt, the Tummel Crystal is within our reach.

Once I have that, my power will be limitless!

Sounds like it's time for ol' Sonic to step in.

We should be fine as long as there aren't any booby traps.

Aaah!

- Smooth move, fox boy. - Ah, Sonic the Hedgehog.

Snooping as usual, I see.

Seize them!

(Nervous laugh)

Hey! Be careful with that!

It's not insured when someone else is using it.

Hey, I found the Tummel Crystal.

Oh, yeah! Crystal me, baby!

- (Chuckles) - We gotta do something now.

If I can talk that Gogoba into giving me back my hammer,

I can bust us outta here!

I just have to use a little reverse psychology.

Great idea. I always want to do the opposite of what you say.

But that might be more my problem than yours.

- Ugh! Ugh! - Ugh!

I can't believe how strong you are.

I bet I couldn't even lift that hammer.

Ha! Nonsense!

Women's equality and all that. You go right ahead, little lady.

Ha! Ha! Ha!

Aaah!

Hey! You're not a magic flying father figure!

You're just like us.

Well, time to cause mayhem.

Hail to the king, baby!

We're bumpin' with the flava now!

(Screaming)

Oh!

Fire missiles!

Engage tractor beams!

Whoa!

Goodbye, Sonic.

No!

I guess we're all going down together in a blaze of glory.

Where's that self-destruct button?

Yep. Power windows were a mistake.

Ho-cha! Ho-cha!

- Ho-cha! - No! Stop bowing!

Don't you see?

Look how easily this man tricked you into doing his bidding.

You need to think critically for yourselves

and not waste your lives bowing to false kings.

He's right! Bow to him!

Ho-cha! Ho-cha!

- Ugh! - Ho-cha!

(Cheering)

Wait! We forgot to end on a joke!

(Laughter)

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