Original subtitles

Grr!

Patience, folks. I assure you

everyone will get the opportunity

to see the amazing Haunted Forest!

And to pay me 27,50.

Out of the way, bozo. Move it or lose it, toots.

Big egg on campus, comin' through.

Grr!

(Howling)

This place isn't so scary.

What... what is it?

A proposal for government-mandated healthcare.

Aaah! Run for your lives!

What a fraidy cat! Whatever it is she's supposed to be.

Who'd be scared of this junk? Rubber bats, glowing eyes,

cardboard moon...

And a real ghost! (Shrieks)

Boo!

Aaah!

(Shrieks)

(Laughter)

Faster, you copper clods! That ghost is haunting me.

I need to find a way to exorcise him.

Why not let him borrow your gym membership?

Clearly you never use it.

- Ugh! - Check it out.

Eggman's still freaked out. Whaddaya say we mess with him?

It seems wrong to prey on Eggman's emotions

when he's in such a fragile state.

Did I say "wrong"? I meant "hilarious".

- Boo! - Aaah!

- What? What's that? - (Chuckling)

(Shrieks)

Aaah! Aaah!

Shh!

This is just sad.

Great, now you've gone and made me feel guilty.

Stop your blubbering, Egghead. It was just me.

- Ghosts aren't real. - Yes, they are!

Aaah! How else do you explain this blurry photograph?

Bad photography? Come with me.

I'll prove there are no ghosts.

I usually reserve the daytime walk through for pre-schoolers,

but since you insisted... As you see,

it's all cheap special effects and atmosphere music.

Boo!

Turn tape over for more fun-filled sounds of... horror.

When you step here it triggers the ghost drop.

(Shrieks)

(Grumbles)

What did I tell ya? No such thing as ghosts.

Now I've got nothing to fear,

except maybe that numbness in my left arm.

I'm sure it's nothing.

(Snoring)

Boo!

Who's there?

Aaah!

No. Ghosts aren't real.

This is all a trick, just like Barker showed me.

- Oh, that's no good. - Boo!

Aaah! G-g-g-ghosts are real!

I've heard of this before.

Some good-looking entrepreneur type

opens a humble haunted attraction

on the smallest of Gogoba burial grounds,

only to anger the spirit world and send a cavalcade of ghouls -

Straight into my lair! So this is all your fault!

Now, let's not point numb fingers.

I'm sure everything's gonna be just fine.

Easy for you to say. You don't have to live in a haunted lair!

I'm an honest reasonable fellow.

I'm not gonna just leave you in your time of need.

How about I take that lair off your hands?

Free you of the burden of ghost ownership?

And what guarantee do I get the ghosts won't follow me?

Ooh! You're a shrewd businessman.

I'll just stipulate that the sale includes

any and all items inside the lair.

After all, ghosts are powerless against red tape!

The ol' Eggman negotiating skills.

Still got it.

(Snoring)

- (Banging) - Aaah! Ugh!

(Groans) It's 2:30 in the afternoon!

People are trying to sleep!

(Banging)

Huh?

Since my lair is full of 100% certified evil spirits,

I had to sell the place to Barker.

Looks like we're gonna be beach buddies!

No!

OK, we're going to get to the bottom of...

- What's going on here? - Welcome thrill-seekers

to the most fear-inducing attraction yet,

The Deadly Lair!

Have you gone mad? You'll anger the spirit world again!

Don't be daft, Egghead. Barker conned you.

He was just looking for a bigger, better venue.

I'll show you.

- Huh? - That'll be 50 bucks.

Each.

(Whistling)

Grr!

Argh!

- Boo! - No! Take Sonic, not me!

That's no ghost. It's nothing but smoke and mirrors.

What makes you so sure?

Well, for starters, the smoke and the mirrors.

And then there's the digital projection of a ghost.

Grr!

You conned me. Gimme back my lair!

Sorry, Eggman. A deal's a deal.

Oh, yeah?

Let's see what my robots have to say about that!

Don't you mean my robots?

The sale included any and all items inside the lair. Remember?

No! You can't do this to me! I created you!

He's a crook! There aren't any real ghosts in there!

It's a sham!

Aaah!

Mr Barker, is that hysterical lunatic ranting the truth?

(Nervous laugh) No, of course not.

This lair really is haunted!

What would I have to gain from lying to you good people?

(Gasp)

Come back!

There are more reprehensible attractions out there!

At least I'm not hurting any whales!

Great. After everyone saw me getting tossed outta my lair,

they don't respect or fear me any more.

Time to call in the big guns!

OK, my turn!

- Oh! Ugh! - (Electronic signal)

EGGMAN: You there?

Ooh! Your impression has gotten so much better.

Hey, Doc, you're in my head!

Yeah, I got plenty of room in here, too.

Listen, I need you two dimwits to help me retake the lair.

(Screaming)

Not so fast, Barker!

It's over, Sonic! The denouement!

The final crescendo!

Your meddling cost me my business!

Now, prepare to make acquaintance with your demise,

for it is imminent!

For all Eggman's faults,

at least I understood what he was saying.

Automatons... Action!

(Battle cry)

Whoa!

Why are we having so much trouble, here?

We fight these jobber bots all the time!

Barker's running plays we've never seen before.

This guy's got a real strategy!

Strategy or not, I'm gonna get to smashing!

OK, let's try that again.

We're in the HQ room, boss.

EGGMAN: Perfect! Now head to the console!

(Growls)

(Sigh with relief)

Sir, we need to keep our volume at a sensible level.

(Loudly) What? I can't hear you! You'll have to be louder!

First things first.

I need you to delete my search history, but don't look at it!

Now, install the virus!

(Snoring)

Looks like all these old robots needed was a new business plan!

And as CEO of Eggman Industries...

Really oughta change that name.

..I assure you, you'll all be torn to shreds

with the utmost efficiency.

That's a relief.

(Reprogramming sounds)

Aaah! This is mutiny!

Yup. Heard of this before. Looks like your robots

have contracted the Anti-Allegiance Virus.

They won't stop till they've destroyed their master.

- Hey! That's you, isn't it? - You gotta do something!

Tell ya what.

Since I'm a reasonable fellow,

I'm not gonna leave you in your time of need.

How about I take that lair off your hands?

Once I'm their master, you'll be off the hook.

Grr!

Aaah!

Take it. It's yours!

Eggman's back in business, baby!

You ready for a battle, hedgehog?

Aren't I always?

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