Original subtitles

[grunts]

I love the Dangerco Deadly Equipment Warehouse!

Look at this multipack

of Ion Diffusers.

I only need one, but it's such a bargain!

I need to see your credentials.

You need a Doctorate in Evil Science to shop here.

Last time I sweet talked the guy.

I mean threatened his family.

I know. It was me.

Now I'm divorced, your threats are meaningless.

I'm a man with nothing left to lose.

All right, fine.

Orbot, print out my transcript.

According to this,

you're two credits short of the graduation requirements.

You're not a doctor!

For a guy with nothing left to lose,

you care a lot about academic bureaucracy.

Let's go, knuckleheads!

This knucklehead doesn't want our business.

Eggman's not a doctor?

I gotta spread the word...

In song!

[phone rings]

[singing] Hi, Perci.

[singing] Hi, Staci.

[singing] Here's the rumor, In good humor

[singing] Here's the tale, walrus male.

[singing] Tell me all about Mr Eggman.

[singing] Hi Amy.

[singing] Hi Dave's Mom.

[singing] Here's the babble of the rabble.

[singing] Here's the word, anchor bird.

[singing] Have you heard about Mr Eggman?

[singing] He's no longer a doc. No way!

-His PHD is a crock. -Oh word!

-He was once feared a lot. -Sort of

Now, he's just a crackpot!

Lady Walrus, this

is Dave the intern.

Can I talk to your annoying kids?

-Not a doc! Not a doc! -Back to school, boy!

-Not a doc! Not a doc! -Back to school, boy!

Academia

can be cruel, boy.

-So true! -What a miserable guy!

-So blue! -Everyone sing along

To our parody song!

-He's no longer a doc. -No way!

-He was once feared a lot. -Sort of

He's just a crackpot!

Why do you look like you finished a musical number?

[walla]

[walla]

Can I get a double Meh Burger, savage style?

I'll get right on that.

And I mean that double sarcastically,

savage style.

[laughter]

How dare you!

I'll destroy you all!

You and what doctorate?

[ALL: Ohhhh!]

Better write yourself a prescription

for that sick burn.

Oh wait; you can't!

[ALL laugh]

[grunts]

I'm going to have to ask you to leave.

[cheering]

You'll be hearing from my lawyer!

[efforts]

[cheering]

I can't believe Eggman isn't a doctor!

When did that happen?

We should sing and dance about it!

Meet my lawyer.

Didn't we just throw you out,

Mister Eggman?

[laughter]

This is the worst day of my life!

And I judged at a tofu cook off.

I'm sure it wasn't that bad boss.

Sonic called me "Mister"!

I got thrown out of Meh Burger with my tail between my legs

That's just an expression.

My vestigial tail was removed years ago.

Perhaps you can go back to school

for the last two credits.

That sounds hilarious.

I can take Professor Kingsford's class.

He was the most feared and respected professor of evil.

Feared and respected?

You should take classes from him!

They called him "the goat herder".

He'd always pick one poor sap to be his goat

and wail mercilessly on him for the entire semester.

We'll see who it'll be this year!

Aaah!

My alarm never went off!

[nervous chuckle]

Huh?

Mr...

Eggman.

Can you recite the facts of the battle of Admiral Doom

VS Captain Hero?

Were we supposed to read something?

I see. You thought

there was going to be no work on the first day?

No, no, I actually have a lot of respect for you.

What you are, Mr. Eggman,

is a GOAT.

Would you like a carrot, goat boy?

[laughter]

I'm bored.

I'm chairman of the bored.

We'll have time to figure out what to do

during Eggman's failure montage.

[Song] A failure montage

Right here,

We're watching things happen

Exposition fromage

So take the brakes off

Don't miss key points now

A montage scene, yeah

We cut between yeah

A show sure

So we'll cut some corners now

Eggman is busy

As such, team Sonic can goof around

Since school is back

Eggman is less likely

To scream at them

[grunts]

I can't believe I failed the shoebox diorama.

I used glitter and everything.

I made mine out of evil popsicle sticks.

David!

You're pizza pockets exploded cheese all over the microwave!

MOM! You're interrupting

my study group!

Don't you get fresh with me, young man!

All right. Let's get started.

I highlighted all the important stuff.

Nicely done!

did you check the board

to see what to steal for lab day?

I just need to steal a rubber gasket.

Easy as long as I don't draw too much attention to myself.

[evil laugh]

Tremble in terror, as I steal your rubber gasket!

C'mon gang; we have

to stop Eggman from doing

his homework, or something; I don't care.

[spin dash]

Come on guys!

Can we go back to drag racing?

Catching rings is boring.

Poor Eggman.

Some people just aren't naturals.

This rudimentary Doomsday

Device built from parts you stole,

is almost complete.

All that is missing is a tiny rubber gasket,

without which this is a glorified paperweight.

Mister Eggman,

If you would be so kind, install the gasket you stole.

Ehh... funny story...

I sincerely doubt it.

Seeing as this was a class project,

and Goatboy was unable to accomplish the simple task

with which he was charged,

you shall all fail the assignment.

-Thanks a lot. -You're out of the study group.

I found pizza in my hat earlier.

Mister Eggman,

your only hope to complete this course now

is to get an A on the final.

Huh?

[laughter]

[mocking laughter]

[goat sounds]

Silly Eggman; rings are for hedgehogs!

[screams]

What's wrong, sir?

It's that final!

I just know I'm gonna fail it! Let me think.

Let you what now?

If not for my strong moral center,

I'd break into the school and steal the answers.

Let's break in and steal the answers.

Ow!

You need to be more cautious!

Got it! Nopuw ll me up!

Ow! Ow!

[groans, screams]

Welcome to your final exam.

You entered this classroom eighty seven weeks ago

with heads full of mush,

if you pass this test,

you will leave here villains.

Begin.

[laughs]

I've completed grading your papers.

Mr. Eggman?

Present? Hehe.

You posit on your answer sheet that the most

efficient power source for launching a planet

off its gravitational axis is C:

a tomato?

[class giggles]

Ehhh, well, I mean, if it was big enough,

like, a prize winning carnival tomato...

And that a nuclear ion grid

can be best penetrated by B:

a house fern.

Again, it all comes down to the size of the fern.

They can be pretty intimidating.

Ever seen "Little Shop of Houseferns"?

What is far more likely is that

you stole the fake answer sheet I planted

in this desk drawer and you cheated.

Cheat?! Me?! No!

I wouldn't do that!

That would be evil?

Precisely...

And this is a class in evil.

As such, the true final exam was to steal the final exam.

And only one of my students passed.

Doctor Eggman.

So long, losers!

Yeah!

I hope we do more stuff next week.

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