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This is the story of two sisters,
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00:00:06,006 --> 00:00:08,007
Jessica Tate
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and Mary Campbell.
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These are the Tates,
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and these are the Campbells.
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And this is Soap.
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Oh!
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Jess.
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Oh! Mary.
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Good.
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Look what I'm making us.
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Some little drinks
with umbrellas.
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I need the practice.
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I had this the other night
at a Polynesian restaurant,
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and I stabbed my lip
with a toothpick
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and shoved an umbrella
up my nose.
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Jess, you know
I would never hurt you.
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Never ever.
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Of course not, Mary.
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I know you'd never shove
an umbrella up my nose.
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You'd probably take it out.
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I mean, intentionally hurt you.
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Of course not.
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Except for that one time
you shoved me out of the tree
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when I was 8 years old.
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And we've always had
each other, no matter what.
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00:01:53,379 --> 00:01:56,381
Anyway, I deserved to be
pushed out of the tree
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because I'd put a spider
in your Jell-O
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before it Jell-O'd,
remember?
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And you were eating away.
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00:02:05,391 --> 00:02:07,893
It's been the most important
thing in my life, Jess,
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00:02:07,894 --> 00:02:09,394
that you've always
been there for me,
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and I've always
been there for you.
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Mm-hm.
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And it would kill me, Jess,
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if what I'm about
to tell you changed that.
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But I have to tell you.
You have to know.
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00:02:21,841 --> 00:02:23,709
You know Danny was shot.
39
00:02:23,710 --> 00:02:25,544
I know that, Mary.
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It happened in my house.
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And he was shot in the kidneys.
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The kidneys.
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Thank God it wasn't
the heart or the brain,
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where there's only one.
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00:02:35,655 --> 00:02:38,123
He was shot in
two kidneys, Jess.
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00:02:38,124 --> 00:02:39,558
I see.
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00:02:39,559 --> 00:02:41,427
And what about the rest?
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00:02:42,428 --> 00:02:43,862
The rest of what?
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Of his kidneys.
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00:02:45,231 --> 00:02:46,765
He only has two.
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00:02:46,766 --> 00:02:49,768
Oh, I'm sorry, Mary.
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That's all anyone has.
53
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Really?
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00:02:53,173 --> 00:02:55,107
I thought there were more.
55
00:02:55,108 --> 00:02:57,576
When I used to buy
beef kidneys for Fluffy,
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00:02:57,577 --> 00:03:01,079
it always came
a whole bunch in a package.
57
00:03:01,080 --> 00:03:03,982
No, Jess, we only have two...
58
00:03:03,983 --> 00:03:05,951
and Danny was shot in both.
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00:03:05,952 --> 00:03:07,953
And now he needs a new kidney.
60
00:03:07,954 --> 00:03:10,956
Oh, Mary, where are you
going to get one?
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00:03:10,957 --> 00:03:12,958
Well, uh, from a donor, Jess.
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That's what I've come
to talk to you about.
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00:03:14,961 --> 00:03:15,895
Oh, well.
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00:03:15,896 --> 00:03:17,396
Well, you've got it, Mary.
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00:03:17,397 --> 00:03:18,397
Take mine. Either.
Both of them.
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They're yours.
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00:03:19,899 --> 00:03:21,900
You take my kidneys.
I'll get my coat.
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00:03:21,901 --> 00:03:24,903
No, Jess.
He can't use yours.
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00:03:24,904 --> 00:03:25,904
Now, Mary,
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I know it's a woman's kidney,
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00:03:27,373 --> 00:03:29,875
but you have to tell Danny
nobody will ever know.
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It'll be on the inside.
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No one will ever
be able to tell.
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00:03:32,879 --> 00:03:35,380
No, Jess.
We have a donor.
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00:03:35,381 --> 00:03:37,883
The only donor that we can use.
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00:03:37,884 --> 00:03:39,885
Um...
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Danny's father.
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00:03:42,855 --> 00:03:45,357
Mary, sit down.
Now...
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00:03:45,358 --> 00:03:47,359
Mary, I...
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00:03:47,360 --> 00:03:49,861
I know that you've been
under a lot of strain.
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00:03:49,862 --> 00:03:51,863
I know you're tired, Mary.
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00:03:51,864 --> 00:03:55,734
Mary, Danny's father is dead.
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00:03:55,735 --> 00:03:57,736
No, Jess.
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00:03:57,737 --> 00:04:01,140
Danny's father is Chester.
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00:04:03,543 --> 00:04:05,478
Chester?
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00:04:06,946 --> 00:04:10,783
"Chester," Chester?
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00:04:13,419 --> 00:04:15,788
You mean, the Chester I know?
88
00:04:17,223 --> 00:04:19,691
It happened before
you were married.
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00:04:19,692 --> 00:04:23,195
Before you were
even going together.
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00:04:27,634 --> 00:04:29,101
You and Chester?
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00:04:29,102 --> 00:04:32,405
I'm so sorry, Jess.
92
00:04:34,407 --> 00:04:36,908
And you never told me.
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00:04:36,909 --> 00:04:38,377
You got married.
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00:04:38,378 --> 00:04:41,313
I didn't want to hurt you.
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00:04:41,314 --> 00:04:43,649
I couldn't find a good reason
to tell you
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00:04:43,650 --> 00:04:46,551
and... risk hurting you.
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00:04:46,552 --> 00:04:49,354
What good would have come of it?
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00:04:51,324 --> 00:04:52,824
Ooh!
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00:04:52,825 --> 00:04:55,227
You and Chester.
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00:04:55,228 --> 00:04:57,230
I should have told you.
101
00:05:01,034 --> 00:05:02,969
I can't believe it.
102
00:05:04,470 --> 00:05:05,971
Oh, Jess...
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00:05:05,972 --> 00:05:08,975
please don't be angry with me.
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00:05:11,377 --> 00:05:14,847
All these years,
and you never told me.
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00:05:18,751 --> 00:05:21,653
Practically our whole lives.
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00:05:24,924 --> 00:05:28,193
I trusted you with everything.
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00:05:30,563 --> 00:05:34,300
With all my thoughts
and my most private fears.
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00:05:38,771 --> 00:05:41,540
And you knew everything
about my marriage,
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00:05:41,541 --> 00:05:44,544
when my marriage
was everything in my life.
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00:05:47,880 --> 00:05:49,881
When I let you know
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00:05:49,882 --> 00:05:53,352
every corner of my soul, and...
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00:05:53,353 --> 00:05:55,787
Oh.
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You kept it from me.
114
00:06:02,295 --> 00:06:05,798
You sat there listening
and knowing that.
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00:06:08,801 --> 00:06:10,302
Oh, Mary.
116
00:06:10,303 --> 00:06:14,307
I feel so totally,
totally betrayed.
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00:06:33,726 --> 00:06:35,728
I don't know.
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00:06:58,017 --> 00:06:59,017
Hi, honey.
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00:06:59,018 --> 00:07:00,018
Hi, Ma.
How you doing?
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00:07:00,019 --> 00:07:01,019
Okay.
121
00:07:01,020 --> 00:07:02,020
Mwah.
122
00:07:02,021 --> 00:07:03,522
Mm.
123
00:07:03,523 --> 00:07:06,525
The doctor says
you're doing just fine.
124
00:07:06,526 --> 00:07:08,527
You just need a lot of rest...
125
00:07:08,528 --> 00:07:10,529
and a new kidney,
but other than that...
126
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A kidney?
127
00:07:12,465 --> 00:07:13,799
A whole kidney?
128
00:07:13,800 --> 00:07:14,800
Yeah.
129
00:07:14,801 --> 00:07:16,735
But I have a kidney.
130
00:07:16,736 --> 00:07:17,736
Well, no.
131
00:07:17,737 --> 00:07:19,137
You had a kidney.
132
00:07:19,138 --> 00:07:20,138
Actually, you had two.
133
00:07:20,139 --> 00:07:21,540
And now you don't have any.
134
00:07:21,541 --> 00:07:22,908
Do I really need one?
135
00:07:22,909 --> 00:07:24,810
It helps.
136
00:07:24,811 --> 00:07:26,311
So what are they gonna do,
137
00:07:26,312 --> 00:07:29,281
just... put one in?
138
00:07:29,282 --> 00:07:31,183
Well, that's what I wanted to
talk to you about.
139
00:07:31,184 --> 00:07:32,184
Uh...
140
00:07:32,185 --> 00:07:36,021
someone is gonna
donate one of theirs.
141
00:07:36,022 --> 00:07:38,457
Blech!
142
00:07:38,458 --> 00:07:39,891
You mean, they're gonna put
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00:07:39,892 --> 00:07:41,326
someone else's kidney
in my body?
144
00:07:41,327 --> 00:07:42,194
Yeah.
145
00:07:42,195 --> 00:07:43,129
Whose?
146
00:07:43,130 --> 00:07:44,596
Uh, Mary.
147
00:07:44,597 --> 00:07:47,098
Mary, how much longer?
148
00:07:47,099 --> 00:07:49,167
I'm in the 20-minute zone.
149
00:07:49,168 --> 00:07:52,137
If I'm giving up a kidney,
I don't want to get a ticket.
150
00:07:52,138 --> 00:07:54,606
Wait, wait, wait.
Wait a minute.
151
00:07:54,607 --> 00:07:55,607
Ma, Chester?
152
00:07:55,608 --> 00:07:58,109
Uh...
153
00:07:58,110 --> 00:08:00,045
You're the donor?
154
00:08:00,046 --> 00:08:02,047
She didn't tell you?
155
00:08:02,048 --> 00:08:05,050
Uh, I was about to.
156
00:08:05,051 --> 00:08:07,886
All right, Chester,
why are you doing it?
157
00:08:07,887 --> 00:08:09,721
What's in it for you?
158
00:08:09,722 --> 00:08:10,656
In it for me?
159
00:08:10,657 --> 00:08:12,157
There's nothing in it for me.
160
00:08:12,158 --> 00:08:13,625
It's for you.
161
00:08:13,626 --> 00:08:14,659
Without a kidney,
162
00:08:14,660 --> 00:08:16,161
you'll eventually die.
163
00:08:16,162 --> 00:08:17,996
And if I'm the only one
that can prevent that,
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00:08:17,997 --> 00:08:21,433
well, I... kind of
have to.
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00:08:21,434 --> 00:08:23,435
And if I die, well,
then I'll die knowing
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00:08:23,436 --> 00:08:24,903
that I died in order for
you to live.
167
00:08:24,904 --> 00:08:28,573
Of course, that won't mean
a lot to me after I'm dead.
168
00:08:28,574 --> 00:08:30,575
Feeling better today?
169
00:08:30,576 --> 00:08:33,578
Oh, great. Tiptop.
King of the hill!
170
00:08:33,579 --> 00:08:36,081
Nurse, please, don't let them
take my kidney, please!
171
00:08:36,082 --> 00:08:37,082
Chester!
172
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Ahem.
173
00:08:38,084 --> 00:08:39,084
Sorry.
174
00:08:39,085 --> 00:08:41,953
A little preoperative hysteria.
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I'm fine.
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00:08:44,457 --> 00:08:46,892
I don't want
your kidney, Chester.
177
00:08:46,893 --> 00:08:47,893
Oh! Well,
we tried, Mary.
178
00:08:47,894 --> 00:08:49,895
I'll be in the gift shop...
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00:08:49,896 --> 00:08:50,897
Stay, Chester!
180
00:08:52,798 --> 00:08:55,200
Danny, there is
a very good reason
181
00:08:55,201 --> 00:08:58,103
why you're new kidney
has to come from Uncle Chester.
182
00:08:58,104 --> 00:09:00,338
But I don't even like him.
183
00:09:00,339 --> 00:09:02,741
Why can't I have one of Burt's?
184
00:09:02,742 --> 00:09:05,210
We both drink light beer.
185
00:09:05,211 --> 00:09:08,547
Because Danny...
Because...
186
00:09:08,548 --> 00:09:10,315
Be...
187
00:09:10,316 --> 00:09:11,317
cause.
188
00:09:13,786 --> 00:09:16,288
Um... well, because Danny, um...
189
00:09:16,289 --> 00:09:19,291
you need the kidney
of a blood relative.
190
00:09:19,292 --> 00:09:20,625
Well, so that means you can't.
191
00:09:20,626 --> 00:09:22,093
Why not Jodie?
192
00:09:22,094 --> 00:09:25,030
Well, someone like your father.
193
00:09:25,031 --> 00:09:26,898
Close.
194
00:09:26,899 --> 00:09:29,401
Don't talk about my father.
195
00:09:29,402 --> 00:09:30,902
He's dead.
196
00:09:30,903 --> 00:09:33,371
He was a crook and a murderer,
and he's dead.
197
00:09:33,372 --> 00:09:35,674
Well, it's two out of three.
198
00:09:42,915 --> 00:09:44,783
Um...
199
00:09:44,784 --> 00:09:47,652
Danny...
200
00:09:47,653 --> 00:09:49,554
I'm your daddy.
201
00:09:52,892 --> 00:09:55,327
Ow. Oh.
Don't.
202
00:09:55,328 --> 00:09:56,328
Danny, don't laugh,
203
00:09:56,329 --> 00:09:58,330
because if you break
a spleen or something,
204
00:09:58,331 --> 00:10:00,265
you're on your own.
205
00:10:00,266 --> 00:10:03,201
I draw the line at organs
I don't have an abundance of.
206
00:10:03,202 --> 00:10:04,202
Shh!
207
00:10:04,203 --> 00:10:06,638
Oh, what a sense of humor.
208
00:10:12,912 --> 00:10:14,846
Ma, is he serious?
209
00:10:14,847 --> 00:10:18,283
It's a long story.
210
00:10:18,284 --> 00:10:19,751
I...
Well...
211
00:10:19,752 --> 00:10:21,653
I don't believe it.
212
00:10:21,654 --> 00:10:23,622
You see, I don't either.
213
00:10:23,623 --> 00:10:25,457
Now, there's
two people right there.
214
00:10:25,458 --> 00:10:28,393
So let's not rush into something
we'll all be sorry about later.
215
00:10:28,394 --> 00:10:30,395
Mary, coffee shop.
216
00:10:30,396 --> 00:10:31,396
Oh!
217
00:10:31,397 --> 00:10:32,897
Danny, would you
like a Snickers?
218
00:10:32,898 --> 00:10:33,899
Sit, Chester.
219
00:10:36,402 --> 00:10:37,836
Danny, it's true.
220
00:10:37,837 --> 00:10:40,306
It was a long time ago,
but it's true.
221
00:10:43,309 --> 00:10:45,210
Chester's my father?
222
00:10:46,679 --> 00:10:49,080
The person I respect the least
in the whole world
223
00:10:49,081 --> 00:10:52,317
has my chromotons.
224
00:10:52,318 --> 00:10:55,286
You think I'm overjoyed?
225
00:10:55,287 --> 00:10:56,221
Could you leave me alone?
226
00:10:56,222 --> 00:10:58,456
Both of you.
227
00:10:58,457 --> 00:11:01,026
Danny, I know that
you're confused,
228
00:11:01,027 --> 00:11:02,994
and you probably
hate me right now.
229
00:11:02,995 --> 00:11:05,363
What do you want me to do, Ma?
230
00:11:05,364 --> 00:11:06,298
Jump out of bed,
231
00:11:06,299 --> 00:11:08,733
kiss him and call him Daddy?
232
00:11:08,734 --> 00:11:11,236
Danny...
Please!
233
00:11:11,237 --> 00:11:13,539
Get out.
234
00:11:21,514 --> 00:11:24,449
Danny, you don't have
to forgive me, ever...
235
00:11:24,450 --> 00:11:27,318
but there's...
one big reason
236
00:11:27,319 --> 00:11:29,621
why you could
never hate Chester.
237
00:11:29,622 --> 00:11:31,556
Why?
238
00:11:31,557 --> 00:11:33,525
He gave me you.
239
00:12:00,653 --> 00:12:01,653
Yeah, no, Mare.
240
00:12:01,654 --> 00:12:03,656
Please, I'm fine.
Just, how is Danny?
241
00:12:05,157 --> 00:12:06,658
Will you stop with the powder?
242
00:12:06,659 --> 00:12:08,660
What's the matter with you?
243
00:12:08,661 --> 00:12:09,661
Come on, Mare, please.
244
00:12:09,662 --> 00:12:11,663
I mean, does the kidney fit?
245
00:12:11,664 --> 00:12:13,165
Is he...? What?
Is he...?
246
00:12:14,667 --> 00:12:17,535
Lips? What's
with the lips?
247
00:12:17,536 --> 00:12:18,536
Leave me alone, pal.
248
00:12:18,537 --> 00:12:19,537
Yeah.
249
00:12:19,538 --> 00:12:21,039
No, sorry.
No, Mare, not you.
250
00:12:21,040 --> 00:12:23,041
I got some...
I got a clown over here.
251
00:12:23,042 --> 00:12:26,878
Mare... please,
is everything okay?
252
00:12:26,879 --> 00:12:27,879
You sure?
253
00:12:27,880 --> 00:12:29,380
Mary, I'm fine, really.
254
00:12:29,381 --> 00:12:31,316
Listen...
255
00:12:31,317 --> 00:12:35,320
Yeah, I'm gonna be
on with the governor here.
256
00:12:35,321 --> 00:12:36,821
Yeah, all right.
I'll tell him.
257
00:12:36,822 --> 00:12:38,323
I'll tell him.
I'll tell him.
258
00:12:38,324 --> 00:12:39,824
All right, Mare.
Listen, listen.
259
00:12:39,825 --> 00:12:40,825
I love you, all right?
260
00:12:40,826 --> 00:12:41,826
And you tell Danny I love him.
261
00:12:41,827 --> 00:12:43,328
And everybody else over there,
262
00:12:43,329 --> 00:12:44,829
you tell them I love them,
all right?
263
00:12:44,830 --> 00:12:47,832
And listen, Mare...
when you see me on TV,
264
00:12:47,833 --> 00:12:49,334
don't be shocked, all right?
265
00:12:49,335 --> 00:12:50,836
I'm wearing lipstick.
266
00:12:52,338 --> 00:12:53,338
What is it?
267
00:12:53,339 --> 00:12:54,339
What are you doing with me here?
268
00:12:54,340 --> 00:12:56,775
Who am I, Barbra Streisand?
269
00:12:56,776 --> 00:12:58,777
I'm gonna meet
the governor here with mascara?
270
00:12:58,778 --> 00:12:59,779
Get away from me.
271
00:13:04,283 --> 00:13:05,283
Hey, Sheriff,
272
00:13:05,284 --> 00:13:07,285
I'm Morty Stevens, the director.
273
00:13:07,286 --> 00:13:08,787
Welcome to the news.
274
00:13:08,788 --> 00:13:10,789
I'd like you to meet
Governor Rodenbach.
275
00:13:10,790 --> 00:13:14,292
Governor, I am...
Hello, hi, sir. This is...
276
00:13:14,293 --> 00:13:16,795
My wife says hello.
277
00:13:16,796 --> 00:13:18,296
You're a heck of a guy,
Campbell.
278
00:13:18,297 --> 00:13:21,800
Is that the way you
pronounce it, "Campbell"?
279
00:13:21,801 --> 00:13:22,801
Uh, yes, sir.
280
00:13:22,802 --> 00:13:24,302
So the "p" is silent,
281
00:13:24,303 --> 00:13:25,804
like the "k" in knife.
282
00:13:27,306 --> 00:13:28,706
Yes, sir.
283
00:13:28,707 --> 00:13:31,142
That's very confusing,
a "p" in Campbell.
284
00:13:31,143 --> 00:13:33,144
I don't understand that.
285
00:13:33,145 --> 00:13:35,113
Well, thank you, sir.
286
00:13:35,114 --> 00:13:37,615
This is our anchorman,
Philip Glen Smith.
287
00:13:37,616 --> 00:13:39,117
Congratulations, Sheriff.
288
00:13:39,118 --> 00:13:41,119
This is probably
the biggest crime bust
289
00:13:41,120 --> 00:13:43,121
since they captured Hitler.
290
00:13:43,122 --> 00:13:45,123
You know, I don't think
they ever captured him.
291
00:13:45,124 --> 00:13:46,624
Of course, we'll be
asking the questions.
292
00:13:46,625 --> 00:13:48,626
Now, Sheriff,
what's your first name? Bart?
293
00:13:48,627 --> 00:13:49,627
No, that's Burt.
294
00:13:49,628 --> 00:13:51,129
Burt.
Bart would been better.
295
00:13:51,130 --> 00:13:52,630
Governor, what do you think?
296
00:13:52,631 --> 00:13:53,631
Bart's got more bite.
Yeah.
297
00:13:53,632 --> 00:13:55,567
Bart, Bart.
See what I mean.
298
00:13:55,568 --> 00:13:57,569
Well, my mother thought
it was a little ostentatious.
299
00:13:57,570 --> 00:13:58,570
Too much bite.
300
00:13:58,571 --> 00:14:01,406
Should be more
Oldie West-y.
301
00:14:01,407 --> 00:14:03,408
Like... Black Bart.
302
00:14:03,409 --> 00:14:04,909
Excuse me, sir.
303
00:14:04,910 --> 00:14:05,910
Think that's too much of a bite?
304
00:14:05,911 --> 00:14:06,911
Excuse me.
305
00:14:06,912 --> 00:14:07,912
My kid's in the hospital.
306
00:14:07,913 --> 00:14:09,414
So I'd like to get
this over with.
307
00:14:09,415 --> 00:14:10,415
Let's just leave it Burt.
308
00:14:10,416 --> 00:14:11,416
Okay, Burt,
309
00:14:11,417 --> 00:14:12,417
now, run it by me once,
310
00:14:12,418 --> 00:14:14,419
exactly how you
captured these guys.
311
00:14:14,420 --> 00:14:15,920
And don't skimp on the action.
312
00:14:15,921 --> 00:14:18,423
Well, I exchanged some gunfire
with some of the bodyguards.
313
00:14:18,424 --> 00:14:19,424
No good.
314
00:14:19,425 --> 00:14:20,425
No good?
315
00:14:20,426 --> 00:14:21,926
The gun is too ordinary.
316
00:14:21,927 --> 00:14:22,927
We have to accent the bat.
317
00:14:22,928 --> 00:14:24,429
You did have a bat, right?
318
00:14:24,430 --> 00:14:25,430
Yeah.
319
00:14:25,431 --> 00:14:26,431
Bat, Bat.
There we go.
320
00:14:26,432 --> 00:14:27,432
Bat Campbell.
321
00:14:27,433 --> 00:14:28,933
Bat. I like it.
Burt, you like Bat?
322
00:14:29,902 --> 00:14:31,402
This bat is no good.
323
00:14:31,403 --> 00:14:32,904
It doesn't work.
This is little league.
324
00:14:32,905 --> 00:14:34,405
Props, get me another bat.
325
00:14:34,406 --> 00:14:35,907
We need a bigger bat
for Burt here.
326
00:14:35,908 --> 00:14:36,908
That's my bat.
He took my bat!
327
00:14:36,909 --> 00:14:37,909
Bart.
328
00:14:37,910 --> 00:14:38,910
No it's Burt, not Bart.
329
00:14:38,911 --> 00:14:40,411
Burt.
Bring the bat back, please.
330
00:14:40,412 --> 00:14:42,914
We want to play up the bat.
And forget about the gun.
331
00:14:42,915 --> 00:14:44,415
But that's not
what really happened.
332
00:14:44,416 --> 00:14:47,919
Burty, baby, this is
the news, show biz.
333
00:14:47,920 --> 00:14:50,421
I need the ratings.
334
00:14:50,422 --> 00:14:51,923
Standby, in 20 seconds.
335
00:14:51,924 --> 00:14:53,424
Places, everybody.
336
00:14:53,425 --> 00:14:55,927
Burt. Burt.
Here.
337
00:14:55,928 --> 00:14:56,928
The gov's over there.
338
00:14:56,929 --> 00:14:57,929
Now, speak up,
339
00:14:57,930 --> 00:15:00,431
and always watch
the cameras with the red lights, huh?
340
00:15:00,432 --> 00:15:01,933
Ten seconds.
341
00:15:01,934 --> 00:15:02,935
All right, let's do it.
342
00:15:04,436 --> 00:15:07,438
Five, four, three, two...
343
00:15:09,241 --> 00:15:10,742
It's On the Spot News
344
00:15:10,743 --> 00:15:12,744
with anchormanPhilip Glen Smith.
345
00:15:12,745 --> 00:15:14,746
And now, here's Philip.
346
00:15:14,747 --> 00:15:17,248
Thank you and welcome to
On the Spot News.
347
00:15:17,249 --> 00:15:19,751
On the spot is
the governor of our state
348
00:15:19,752 --> 00:15:22,186
and Sheriff Bart Campbell,
349
00:15:22,187 --> 00:15:24,088
who single-handedly
made the largest
350
00:15:24,089 --> 00:15:26,357
organized crime bust
of the century.
351
00:15:26,358 --> 00:15:29,227
Sheriff Campbell,
tell us how you did it.
352
00:15:35,167 --> 00:15:37,169
I hit him.
353
00:15:40,039 --> 00:15:41,940
Yes, he struck a blow
for America
354
00:15:41,941 --> 00:15:45,209
and sent organized crime
crashing to the canvas.
355
00:15:45,210 --> 00:15:46,210
Uh, no, no.
356
00:15:46,211 --> 00:15:48,179
I was just doing my job.
357
00:15:48,180 --> 00:15:49,681
Just doing my job.
358
00:15:49,682 --> 00:15:52,517
An American man following
the American dream.
359
00:15:52,518 --> 00:15:55,453
A man possessed by an anger,
by a passion.
360
00:15:55,454 --> 00:15:56,454
Wait a minute. Guys...
361
00:15:56,455 --> 00:15:58,323
A man who dared go
362
00:15:58,324 --> 00:15:59,791
where no man had gone before.
363
00:15:59,792 --> 00:16:00,759
Excuse me.
364
00:16:00,760 --> 00:16:02,660
Making our land
a greater place to live. Sir.
365
00:16:02,661 --> 00:16:06,030
With pioneer wisdom
and one lone baseball bat,
366
00:16:06,031 --> 00:16:08,466
he marched into
a veritable snake pit.
367
00:16:08,467 --> 00:16:11,402
And there with God
and raw courage on his side.
368
00:16:11,403 --> 00:16:12,870
Excuse me, Governor.
369
00:16:12,871 --> 00:16:14,672
Let me say.
That's not what happened.
370
00:16:14,673 --> 00:16:15,640
Thank you, Sheriff.
371
00:16:15,641 --> 00:16:17,075
No, wait a minute.
372
00:16:17,076 --> 00:16:18,576
Wait a minute, here.
373
00:16:18,577 --> 00:16:20,078
It's just...
It's very simple.
374
00:16:20,079 --> 00:16:21,579
It just that sooner or later
375
00:16:21,580 --> 00:16:24,582
everybody's gonna have to
stand up and protect their own.
376
00:16:24,583 --> 00:16:26,084
I mean, people are gonna
have to learn.
377
00:16:26,085 --> 00:16:29,087
They're gonna say no,
you can't take this from me.
378
00:16:29,088 --> 00:16:32,090
Or no, you may not
do that to me.
379
00:16:32,091 --> 00:16:34,592
And when people find out
it's up to them to say no,
380
00:16:34,593 --> 00:16:36,594
then they have to make a choice.
381
00:16:36,595 --> 00:16:39,597
I chose to say no.
382
00:16:39,598 --> 00:16:41,599
There's no big deal here,
there's no courage.
383
00:16:41,600 --> 00:16:44,102
It's just that somebody
hurt my kid, my family.
384
00:16:44,103 --> 00:16:47,605
And you can't let people
go around hurting you
385
00:16:47,606 --> 00:16:49,107
or your family, so you don't...
386
00:16:51,610 --> 00:16:53,111
I gotta go.
387
00:16:53,112 --> 00:16:54,612
I got...
My kid's in the hospital.
388
00:16:54,613 --> 00:16:56,114
I gotta go see him.
Excuse me.
389
00:17:02,121 --> 00:17:04,555
Ladies and gentlemen,
390
00:17:04,556 --> 00:17:06,057
you heard it here.
391
00:17:06,058 --> 00:17:07,959
The answer pure and simple:
392
00:17:07,960 --> 00:17:10,695
A modest man saying no.
393
00:17:10,696 --> 00:17:12,630
That's right, Philip.
394
00:17:12,631 --> 00:17:15,033
Should men like this
be limited by local office?
395
00:17:15,034 --> 00:17:16,501
No.
396
00:17:16,502 --> 00:17:18,903
Men like this have too much
to give our country.
397
00:17:18,904 --> 00:17:22,340
And that is why I have chosen
that brave human being
398
00:17:22,341 --> 00:17:25,176
to head my war on crime.
399
00:17:25,177 --> 00:17:28,046
At last, a man who says no.
400
00:17:28,047 --> 00:17:30,782
Sheriff Bat Campell.
401
00:17:30,783 --> 00:17:33,684
Coming up next,
our special segment:
402
00:17:33,685 --> 00:17:35,119
schooling...
403
00:17:35,120 --> 00:17:37,021
and why it's a good thing.
404
00:17:52,604 --> 00:17:54,105
Okay, here we are.
405
00:17:54,106 --> 00:17:56,107
We'll be back in a minute
to knock you boys out.
406
00:17:56,108 --> 00:17:58,610
Well, so much for
bedside manner.
407
00:18:00,112 --> 00:18:01,512
Hello.
408
00:18:01,513 --> 00:18:02,480
Yeah.
409
00:18:02,481 --> 00:18:03,948
What are you writing?
410
00:18:03,949 --> 00:18:05,416
My will.
411
00:18:05,417 --> 00:18:07,318
Oh.
412
00:18:07,319 --> 00:18:09,187
Do you spell bequeath
with a "c" or a "k"?
413
00:18:10,589 --> 00:18:12,990
Uh, what are you bequeathing?
414
00:18:12,991 --> 00:18:14,959
My guitar.
415
00:18:14,960 --> 00:18:18,329
I didn't know you played guitar.
416
00:18:18,330 --> 00:18:20,298
I've had it for years.
417
00:18:20,299 --> 00:18:22,233
Huh. It's funny
learning things
418
00:18:22,234 --> 00:18:23,701
about someone
you've known a long time.
419
00:18:23,702 --> 00:18:25,703
We've found out a lot
about each other.
420
00:18:25,704 --> 00:18:27,038
You play the guitar.
421
00:18:27,039 --> 00:18:30,374
I'm your father.
422
00:18:30,375 --> 00:18:33,177
You gave it to me.
423
00:18:33,178 --> 00:18:34,612
I did?
424
00:18:34,613 --> 00:18:37,014
Christmas, 1965.
425
00:18:37,015 --> 00:18:38,516
Oh!
426
00:18:39,485 --> 00:18:40,952
Who are you willing it to?
427
00:18:40,953 --> 00:18:43,821
You.
428
00:18:43,822 --> 00:18:45,189
Hey, it's the least I can do.
429
00:18:45,190 --> 00:18:47,558
After all,
you're giving me a kidney.
430
00:18:47,559 --> 00:18:49,560
Yeah.
Thanks.
431
00:18:49,561 --> 00:18:51,562
The thing is, I gotta
put a rider on it
432
00:18:51,563 --> 00:18:54,799
saying that if you die,
it goes to your next of kin,
433
00:18:54,800 --> 00:18:57,235
which is me.
434
00:18:57,236 --> 00:19:00,105
Boy, legal red tape,
I'm telling you.
435
00:19:02,107 --> 00:19:05,076
I'm... finding it real hard
436
00:19:05,077 --> 00:19:06,878
to believe that
you're my father.
437
00:19:06,879 --> 00:19:10,281
Yeah, well, believe me,
I find it hard to believe too.
438
00:19:10,282 --> 00:19:12,650
We don't look anything alike.
439
00:19:12,651 --> 00:19:14,051
Oh, my God.
440
00:19:14,052 --> 00:19:15,419
What?
441
00:19:15,420 --> 00:19:18,256
I have to go to the bathroom.
442
00:19:18,257 --> 00:19:19,257
I don't believe it.
443
00:19:19,258 --> 00:19:21,759
They're taking out a kidney,
and I have to go the bathroom.
444
00:19:21,760 --> 00:19:24,262
Boy, when it rains, it pours.
445
00:19:24,263 --> 00:19:26,264
Chester.
446
00:19:26,265 --> 00:19:27,765
Chester, try and relax.
447
00:19:27,766 --> 00:19:29,206
They're gonna be
wheeling us in soon.
448
00:19:30,702 --> 00:19:33,704
One kidney.
I'll have one kidney.
449
00:19:33,705 --> 00:19:35,139
That's all you need.
450
00:19:35,140 --> 00:19:38,142
Oh, really,
Dr. Schweitzer?
451
00:19:38,143 --> 00:19:41,979
That's what Dr. Art Ulene
said on the Today Show.
452
00:19:41,980 --> 00:19:44,482
One kidney
is like having one lip.
453
00:19:44,483 --> 00:19:45,984
Mm.
454
00:19:46,985 --> 00:19:48,786
Come on.
Don't complain.
455
00:19:48,787 --> 00:19:50,087
I'm only gonna have one too.
456
00:19:50,088 --> 00:19:51,055
Yeah, mine.
457
00:19:51,056 --> 00:19:53,558
What happens
if I need it sometime?
458
00:19:53,559 --> 00:19:56,494
I'll give it back to you.
459
00:19:56,495 --> 00:19:58,497
What will you do
with no kidneys?
460
00:19:58,964 --> 00:20:00,431
I won't drink.
461
00:20:00,432 --> 00:20:03,368
That'll help.
462
00:20:04,870 --> 00:20:06,837
What if I start
to develop your habits?
463
00:20:06,838 --> 00:20:09,740
What if I turn into you?
464
00:20:09,741 --> 00:20:13,578
This isn't a brain transplant,
you idiot.
465
00:20:16,515 --> 00:20:18,817
How old were you
when you started balding?
466
00:20:20,219 --> 00:20:22,221
I'm not balding.
467
00:20:23,222 --> 00:20:25,223
I'm gonna have a scar.
468
00:20:25,224 --> 00:20:27,158
Scar, psssh.
469
00:20:27,159 --> 00:20:29,094
You could die on the table.
470
00:20:31,029 --> 00:20:33,030
Nurse! Nurse!
471
00:20:33,031 --> 00:20:34,031
Chester, relax.
472
00:20:34,032 --> 00:20:35,533
You're getting hysterical.
473
00:20:35,534 --> 00:20:37,034
Hysterical, me?
474
00:20:37,035 --> 00:20:39,036
I'm not hysterical.
I'm perfectly calm.
475
00:20:39,037 --> 00:20:41,973
I am being
extraordinarily composed
476
00:20:41,974 --> 00:20:43,908
during this time
of enormous stress...
477
00:20:43,909 --> 00:20:46,911
Stress that would
probably kill a lesser man.
478
00:20:46,912 --> 00:20:47,912
I spit at danger.
479
00:20:47,913 --> 00:20:49,914
Ha. I laugh at pain.
480
00:20:49,915 --> 00:20:50,915
Bring on the doctors.
481
00:20:50,916 --> 00:20:52,917
Let them do their worst.
Ha, ha.
482
00:20:52,918 --> 00:20:53,918
Showtime.
483
00:20:53,919 --> 00:20:55,920
Ah! No!
No, no!
484
00:20:55,921 --> 00:20:59,423
Mommy, mommy, mommy.
485
00:20:59,424 --> 00:21:02,427
We're gonna have to
put you out now, guys.
486
00:21:05,931 --> 00:21:07,431
Uh, you're gonna put
that needle in
487
00:21:07,432 --> 00:21:09,433
and then tell me to count
backwards from 100,
488
00:21:09,434 --> 00:21:10,935
aren't you?
489
00:21:10,936 --> 00:21:11,936
It won't work.
I can't be put out.
490
00:21:11,937 --> 00:21:13,437
It won't flow through my veins.
491
00:21:13,438 --> 00:21:15,439
I swear to God.
492
00:21:15,440 --> 00:21:16,941
Chester.
493
00:21:16,942 --> 00:21:18,443
What?
494
00:21:19,911 --> 00:21:20,911
Good luck.
495
00:21:20,912 --> 00:21:22,346
Oh.
496
00:21:22,347 --> 00:21:24,782
Good luck.
497
00:21:24,783 --> 00:21:26,284
Okay, now...
once I put the needle in,
498
00:21:26,285 --> 00:21:28,185
you'll feel
a little warmth in your chest.
499
00:21:28,186 --> 00:21:30,187
This isn't going to work.
Believe me.
500
00:21:30,188 --> 00:21:31,689
It's no use.
501
00:21:31,690 --> 00:21:32,690
I won't go under.
502
00:21:32,691 --> 00:21:34,592
It's a complete waste of time.
503
00:21:34,593 --> 00:21:36,093
Nobody's ever been able
to put me out.
504
00:21:36,094 --> 00:21:37,094
Ask my dentist.
505
00:21:37,095 --> 00:21:39,597
You're gonna be
very embarrassed.
506
00:21:39,598 --> 00:21:41,565
Now, count.
507
00:21:41,566 --> 00:21:43,067
One hundred.
508
00:21:43,068 --> 00:21:44,569
Ninety-nine.
509
00:21:55,914 --> 00:21:58,416
Now that Burt's heroism
has made him a celebrity,
510
00:21:58,417 --> 00:21:59,917
will he continue to fight crime,
511
00:21:59,918 --> 00:22:01,919
or will he wanthis own television series?
512
00:22:01,920 --> 00:22:04,422
What will be the outcomeof Danny's operation?
513
00:22:04,423 --> 00:22:06,891
Will his body acceptChester's kidney?
514
00:22:06,892 --> 00:22:09,393
Will Chester's kidneyaccept Danny's body?
515
00:22:09,394 --> 00:22:10,895
And what about the two sisters?
516
00:22:10,896 --> 00:22:12,897
Will Jessica ever forgive Mary?
517
00:22:12,898 --> 00:22:14,398
Will Mary ever forgive herself?
518
00:22:14,399 --> 00:22:16,400
Or will her shocking confession
519
00:22:16,401 --> 00:22:18,903
destroy the Tatesand Campbells forever?
520
00:22:18,904 --> 00:22:20,404
These questions and many others
521
00:22:20,405 --> 00:22:23,408
will be answered inthe next episode of Soap.
522
00:22:23,458 --> 00:22:28,008
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