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1
00:00:11,011 --> 00:00:13,930
[mambo music plays]
2
00:00:20,270 --> 00:00:21,229
Abuelita!
3
00:00:21,312 --> 00:00:23,898
No dancing!
You heard what the doctor said.
4
00:00:24,482 --> 00:00:26,234
Who could understand her?
5
00:00:26,317 --> 00:00:29,112
I am fluent in mambo,
not mumbo jumbo.
6
00:00:30,447 --> 00:00:33,867
Well, as a future nurse practitioner,
let me explain her diagnosis.
7
00:00:33,950 --> 00:00:36,202
Sit your crazy fondo down
or you're gonna die.
8
00:00:37,120 --> 00:00:38,663
I don't trust that doctor.
9
00:00:38,747 --> 00:00:40,623
The first thing she did was weigh me,
10
00:00:40,707 --> 00:00:44,127
and after that everything she said
was clouded by jealousy.
11
00:00:47,964 --> 00:00:48,798
Abuelita,
12
00:00:49,632 --> 00:00:52,719
you are on blood thinners and you
need to start using your cane to walk.
13
00:00:52,802 --> 00:00:56,598
Why should I have to use a cane
when I am so able?[chuckles]
14
00:00:58,183 --> 00:00:59,476
Read the Bible.
15
00:01:02,353 --> 00:01:03,438
I'm serious.
16
00:01:03,521 --> 00:01:04,981
I want to see you using that cane.
17
00:01:05,065 --> 00:01:07,567
Okay. That I can do. Papito, hit it.
18
00:01:08,318 --> 00:01:09,569
Ame.
19
00:01:09,652 --> 00:01:13,156
[mambo music plays]
20
00:01:13,239 --> 00:01:14,866
Don't enable this!
21
00:01:14,949 --> 00:01:17,243
You're lucky I talked her
out of the fishnets.
22
00:01:23,500 --> 00:01:25,585
{\an8}♪ This is it ♪
23
00:01:25,668 --> 00:01:29,506
{\an8}♪ This is life, the one you getSo go and have a ball ♪
24
00:01:30,173 --> 00:01:31,800
{\an8}♪ This is it ♪
25
00:01:32,300 --> 00:01:36,262
{\an8}♪ Straight ahead and rest assuredYou can't be sure at all ♪
26
00:01:36,805 --> 00:01:41,851
{\an8}♪ So while you're here, enjoy the viewKeep on doing what you do ♪
27
00:01:41,935 --> 00:01:43,937
{\an8}♪ Hold on tightWe'll muddle through ♪
28
00:01:44,020 --> 00:01:45,855
{\an8}♪ One day at a time ♪
29
00:01:45,939 --> 00:01:47,607
{\an8}♪ So, up on your feet ♪
30
00:01:48,108 --> 00:01:50,777
{\an8}♪ Somewhere there's music playing ♪
31
00:01:51,736 --> 00:01:53,363
♪ Don't you worry none ♪
32
00:01:53,446 --> 00:01:56,074
♪ We'll just take it like it comes ♪
33
00:01:56,157 --> 00:01:58,159
♪ One day at a time ♪
34
00:01:59,285 --> 00:02:01,287
♪ One day at a time ♪
35
00:02:01,371 --> 00:02:02,997
♪ One day at a time ♪
36
00:02:05,667 --> 00:02:09,295
- ♪ One day at a time ♪- ♪ One day at a time ♪
37
00:02:09,963 --> 00:02:11,965
♪ One day at a time ♪
38
00:02:14,300 --> 00:02:16,094
{\an8}Auction item number 32.
39
00:02:16,177 --> 00:02:17,387
{\an8}Spa in a box.
40
00:02:17,470 --> 00:02:19,931
{\an8}Hmm. Two soaps and a bottle of rosé.
41
00:02:20,014 --> 00:02:21,766
{\an8}Somebody's gonna be
a real clean drunk.
42
00:02:23,560 --> 00:02:24,394
{\an8}Maybe me.
43
00:02:25,728 --> 00:02:26,563
{\an8}Ooh...
44
00:02:29,149 --> 00:02:31,693
{\an8}A gift certificate
for vaginal rejuvenation?
45
00:02:33,236 --> 00:02:34,821
{\an8}Where do we put this?
46
00:02:34,904 --> 00:02:37,198
{\an8}Front and center
so we can see who bids on it.
47
00:02:39,367 --> 00:02:41,661
{\an8}Hey, I just realized it's our anniversary.
48
00:02:41,744 --> 00:02:44,998
{\an8}It's the third year in a row of us doing
all the work setting up this fundraiser.
49
00:02:45,081 --> 00:02:46,875
Oh. What's the traditional gift for that?
50
00:02:46,958 --> 00:02:48,918
Do not say vaginal rejuvenation.
51
00:02:50,211 --> 00:02:51,754
{\an8}[women laughing]
52
00:02:52,964 --> 00:02:55,675
{\an8}You know, this would go a lot faster
if we were getting any help
53
00:02:55,758 --> 00:02:57,635
{\an8}from the Sisterhood
of the Traveling Implants.
54
00:03:00,680 --> 00:03:01,848
I'm just gonna say it.
55
00:03:01,931 --> 00:03:03,433
I miss Matt Lauer.
56
00:03:12,901 --> 00:03:13,860
Hey.
57
00:03:14,360 --> 00:03:15,778
{\an8}What's up, ladies?
58
00:03:16,321 --> 00:03:18,615
{\an8}We are so close to finishing up.
59
00:03:19,407 --> 00:03:20,992
[both] Woo-woo!
60
00:03:22,660 --> 00:03:24,370
Okay, I'm just gonna keep on going.
61
00:03:24,454 --> 00:03:25,538
So I was thinking
62
00:03:25,622 --> 00:03:28,833
that if everyone grabbed a couple baskets,
we could be done in like ten minutes.
63
00:03:29,417 --> 00:03:32,962
And if you could grab ten baskets,
we could be done in like one minute.
64
00:03:34,005 --> 00:03:35,840
[clears throat]
See, I can do math too.
65
00:03:38,468 --> 00:03:40,136
Nikki, are you eating an auction item?
66
00:03:40,595 --> 00:03:42,847
Relax, Penelope, they're gluten-free.
67
00:03:45,391 --> 00:03:47,769
Anyway, I wish we could help,
but we're on our way to the gym.
68
00:03:47,852 --> 00:03:49,229
Hmm. This is a gym.
69
00:03:49,312 --> 00:03:51,689
Yeah, and lifting baskets
can be your workout.
70
00:03:51,773 --> 00:03:52,982
[laughs]
71
00:03:53,066 --> 00:03:55,026
No, it's not an arms day.
72
00:03:57,278 --> 00:03:58,279
No.
73
00:04:01,366 --> 00:04:03,493
[in Spanish]
It's a miracle she didn't send a maid.
74
00:04:03,576 --> 00:04:06,913
[in Spanish] The maid is at the house
with a body. The woman is crazy.
75
00:04:06,996 --> 00:04:08,289
[chuckles]
76
00:04:08,373 --> 00:04:09,791
You two are so cute,
77
00:04:09,874 --> 00:04:11,501
with your secret language.
78
00:04:15,338 --> 00:04:18,549
You sign her up for the pervy dog,
I'll put her down for the vag tune-up.
79
00:04:21,761 --> 00:04:25,723
Abuelita, if you are gonna do laundry,
you need to use your cane.
80
00:04:25,807 --> 00:04:28,726
You are right.
Can you hold it a little higher?
81
00:04:34,232 --> 00:04:35,066
Abuelita,
82
00:04:35,525 --> 00:04:38,027
you can fight this all you want,
but I'm not letting up.
83
00:04:38,111 --> 00:04:40,613
Schneider's in there installing
a bar in the tub as we speak.
84
00:04:40,697 --> 00:04:42,156
Oh, fantastic.
85
00:04:42,240 --> 00:04:44,575
Now I can have a mojito while I bathe.
86
00:04:46,160 --> 00:04:47,495
Not that kind of bar.
87
00:04:47,578 --> 00:04:49,080
Hey! Hey! Hey!
88
00:04:49,163 --> 00:04:52,125
So you can avoid repetitive stress,
I put your curtains on remote control.
89
00:04:53,960 --> 00:04:56,004
[motor whirs]
90
00:05:02,844 --> 00:05:04,470
You should have let me die.
91
00:05:07,015 --> 00:05:09,017
Okay, I installed the shower bar.
92
00:05:09,100 --> 00:05:11,561
- I'll straighten it later.
- Appreciate that.
93
00:05:12,145 --> 00:05:13,688
And then, oh, my god...
[laughs]
94
00:05:13,771 --> 00:05:17,275
Mateo did this funny Nikki impersonation.
95
00:05:17,358 --> 00:05:19,986
"Hi, I'm Nikki. I'm terrible."
96
00:05:22,238 --> 00:05:23,323
You got to see him do it.
97
00:05:24,407 --> 00:05:27,285
Enough about Mateo already.
Just admit it, you like him.
98
00:05:27,368 --> 00:05:28,703
Yeah, of course. He's my buddy.
99
00:05:28,786 --> 00:05:30,997
No, but you like him.
100
00:05:31,080 --> 00:05:34,500
You guys should have seen her,
smiling and laughing.
101
00:05:34,584 --> 00:05:35,835
Ooh!
102
00:05:35,960 --> 00:05:38,463
So, you're crushing on a DILF, eh?
103
00:05:38,546 --> 00:05:40,757
You want me to talk to him?
DILF to DILF?
104
00:05:43,301 --> 00:05:44,510
You're not a dad.
105
00:05:44,594 --> 00:05:46,012
And you're definitely not an ILF.
106
00:05:47,263 --> 00:05:51,267
I hear you, and yes, I will be
your wingman at the fundraiser.
107
00:05:52,018 --> 00:05:55,188
Once again, I'm donating
handyman for a day.
108
00:05:55,271 --> 00:05:57,857
Oh, that thing you do every year
where Nikki outbids everyone,
109
00:05:57,940 --> 00:05:59,067
and you two go home together?
110
00:05:59,150 --> 00:06:00,902
That only happened three years in a row.
111
00:06:03,738 --> 00:06:05,823
This year is different
because I know better.
112
00:06:05,907 --> 00:06:06,991
Nikki's toxic,
113
00:06:07,075 --> 00:06:09,994
and after spending time with her
I always feel like I'm drowning in shame.
114
00:06:10,078 --> 00:06:11,746
Yeah, you're going home with Nikki.
115
00:06:13,122 --> 00:06:15,124
[sighs] I know.
116
00:06:15,208 --> 00:06:16,167
So?
117
00:06:16,250 --> 00:06:17,835
What's wrong with this Mateo?
118
00:06:17,919 --> 00:06:19,754
Nothing, he's just not my type.
119
00:06:19,837 --> 00:06:21,089
He's nice.
120
00:06:21,798 --> 00:06:23,091
He's kind of a dork.
121
00:06:23,174 --> 00:06:25,009
Like he's definitely
been stuffed in a locker.
122
00:06:26,427 --> 00:06:27,929
So what does this Mateo do?
123
00:06:28,012 --> 00:06:29,430
He is an accountant.
124
00:06:29,514 --> 00:06:30,807
- Ay.
- No. [chuckles]
125
00:06:31,224 --> 00:06:33,184
It's fine. It's just...
126
00:06:33,267 --> 00:06:36,187
I like a guy
who can handle his business.
127
00:06:36,270 --> 00:06:38,523
Someone who can take charge
when I need him to.
128
00:06:39,023 --> 00:06:40,983
And look, he just doesn't give me that...
129
00:06:42,026 --> 00:06:42,860
[groans]
130
00:06:42,944 --> 00:06:44,362
- Mom, no!
- Stop it!
131
00:06:45,905 --> 00:06:49,325
I get it. I would look across the room
at your father and I would go...
132
00:06:49,409 --> 00:06:50,493
[groans]
133
00:06:50,576 --> 00:06:51,953
No!
134
00:06:53,121 --> 00:06:55,373
Stop making sounds and moving!
135
00:06:56,290 --> 00:06:58,418
No, it's a feeling you get
in your stomach.
136
00:06:58,501 --> 00:07:02,130
It's deep, it's physical,
and once you feel it you can't ignore it.
137
00:07:02,213 --> 00:07:04,799
- That's right.
- Yeah, I get that when I eat soft cheese.
138
00:07:06,050 --> 00:07:07,969
Anyway, Mateo and me, no,
139
00:07:08,052 --> 00:07:09,345
- never gonna happen.
- Yeah.
140
00:07:09,429 --> 00:07:12,432
You're in the friend zone anyway.
Can't crawl out of that.
141
00:07:12,890 --> 00:07:15,059
Oh, I could if I wanted to.
142
00:07:15,435 --> 00:07:18,980
I have a foolproof move
I've been using since high school.
143
00:07:19,897 --> 00:07:22,024
Spill a little liquid on the girls,
144
00:07:23,151 --> 00:07:25,987
then suddenly my eyes
are no longer up here.
145
00:07:27,280 --> 00:07:28,614
[chuckles]
146
00:07:28,698 --> 00:07:31,033
There's this kid in my class,
Joe Kamacho,
147
00:07:31,117 --> 00:07:32,577
who has to wear a hearing aid.
148
00:07:32,660 --> 00:07:34,620
And I've never been
so jealous in my life.
149
00:07:38,791 --> 00:07:42,795
I can't find my dancing shoes.
I need them for the auction tomorrow.
150
00:07:42,879 --> 00:07:45,590
I took them.
You can't wear high heels anymore.
151
00:07:46,674 --> 00:07:47,675
Excuse me?
152
00:07:50,761 --> 00:07:52,096
The doctor was very clear.
153
00:07:52,555 --> 00:07:55,391
You are on blood thinners,
you are prone to dizzy spells,
154
00:07:55,475 --> 00:07:57,935
so you can't wear high heels anymore,
y ya!
155
00:08:00,771 --> 00:08:03,065
You do not "y ya" me.
156
00:08:05,234 --> 00:08:07,111
I "y ya" you.
157
00:08:08,446 --> 00:08:09,780
Y ya!
158
00:08:12,867 --> 00:08:15,703
[motor whirs]
159
00:08:24,253 --> 00:08:26,005
Thank you for wearing flats,
160
00:08:26,088 --> 00:08:29,842
and thank you for agreeing to auction off
knitting lessons instead of dance lessons.
161
00:08:29,926 --> 00:08:33,971
And thank you for always knowing
what everybody else should do.
162
00:08:37,391 --> 00:08:40,436
I will admit it's kind of weird
to see you without heels.
163
00:08:40,520 --> 00:08:42,939
Now when you stand next Dr. B.
you only come up to his armpit.
164
00:08:43,022 --> 00:08:44,774
Yet she still looks down on me.
165
00:08:45,358 --> 00:08:47,026
- And you love it.
- I do.
166
00:08:49,111 --> 00:08:49,946
Okay.
167
00:08:50,530 --> 00:08:53,533
Ah, the library is only open
for one more hour,
168
00:08:53,616 --> 00:08:57,286
and I feel the need, the need to read.
169
00:08:57,370 --> 00:09:00,039
What a novel idea.
170
00:09:00,122 --> 00:09:01,666
[both laugh]
171
00:09:03,417 --> 00:09:07,004
Lydia, I think these knitting lessons
are gonna be a big hit.
172
00:09:07,088 --> 00:09:09,090
They will be, because now...
173
00:09:10,508 --> 00:09:11,717
they are dance lessons.
174
00:09:13,427 --> 00:09:15,429
I thought Elena hid all of your heels.
175
00:09:15,513 --> 00:09:17,640
No, these are my emergency heels.
176
00:09:17,723 --> 00:09:19,642
My abuela taught me to keep a pair
177
00:09:19,725 --> 00:09:22,770
in the freezer in case
of fire, flood, or flamenco.
178
00:09:24,188 --> 00:09:26,148
Oh, still cold.
179
00:09:27,275 --> 00:09:29,860
Elena is going to see you in these shoes.
180
00:09:29,944 --> 00:09:32,697
Not if I stand behind my table.
181
00:09:32,780 --> 00:09:34,198
And, Leslie,
182
00:09:34,282 --> 00:09:36,325
snitches get stitches.
183
00:09:38,286 --> 00:09:40,871
But she's going to see
that you're taller than my armpit.
184
00:09:40,955 --> 00:09:42,540
I already thought of that.
185
00:09:42,623 --> 00:09:44,458
Put on your heels, cowboy.
186
00:09:46,419 --> 00:09:48,754
- Look at you.
- Look at you!
187
00:09:48,838 --> 00:09:50,631
You ditched the cargo shorts, huh?
188
00:09:50,715 --> 00:09:52,967
Yeah, I'm trying to dress better.
189
00:09:53,050 --> 00:09:56,095
My son said I look like a dork,
who no one would ever date.
190
00:09:56,887 --> 00:09:57,763
What?
191
00:09:59,098 --> 00:10:01,183
I unloaded all the heat lamps
in the parking lot, okay?
192
00:10:01,726 --> 00:10:02,602
The parking lot?
193
00:10:02,685 --> 00:10:05,187
No, we need them on the quad
like an hour ago.
194
00:10:05,271 --> 00:10:06,188
Sorry.
195
00:10:07,565 --> 00:10:08,399
Hang on.
196
00:10:09,317 --> 00:10:10,192
Stu?
197
00:10:12,570 --> 00:10:13,738
Here's what gonna happen.
198
00:10:13,821 --> 00:10:16,365
You're gonna move them on to the quad,
and because you were late,
199
00:10:16,449 --> 00:10:18,117
you're gonna take another 20 percent off.
200
00:10:18,200 --> 00:10:19,285
Because I'll tell you,
201
00:10:19,368 --> 00:10:23,122
every parent here is looking down
the barrel of a sweet 16 party,
202
00:10:23,205 --> 00:10:26,125
and we wouldn't want word to get out
that you don't deliver things on time.
203
00:10:26,626 --> 00:10:27,460
Would we?
204
00:10:29,378 --> 00:10:30,212
Right.
205
00:10:30,796 --> 00:10:32,465
Sorry, sir. I'll take care of it.
206
00:10:43,225 --> 00:10:44,060
What?
207
00:10:46,437 --> 00:10:47,271
Nothing.
208
00:10:59,617 --> 00:11:00,451
Oops.
209
00:11:05,247 --> 00:11:06,499
What up, klutz?
210
00:11:08,334 --> 00:11:09,293
Here's a napkin.
211
00:11:10,544 --> 00:11:11,545
Hey, Pete.
212
00:11:14,256 --> 00:11:15,424
What the hell, guys?
213
00:11:19,512 --> 00:11:20,346
Hi, Schneider.
214
00:11:21,389 --> 00:11:24,100
No. Maybe. Darn it, no!
215
00:11:25,601 --> 00:11:29,188
I love our little tradition
where handyman for a day
216
00:11:29,271 --> 00:11:31,273
becomes handyman for a night,
217
00:11:31,649 --> 00:11:33,317
and then leaves right after.
218
00:11:34,819 --> 00:11:37,655
Okay.
While I appreciate your business,
219
00:11:37,738 --> 00:11:40,825
this year, can we give a chance
to someone who wants me
220
00:11:40,908 --> 00:11:42,952
for what's in my tool belt and not...
221
00:11:43,035 --> 00:11:44,912
Well, this metaphor's not working out.
222
00:11:46,205 --> 00:11:47,790
Just don't bid.
223
00:11:47,873 --> 00:11:49,208
Oops, too late.
224
00:11:50,835 --> 00:11:53,754
That's just a drawing of a...
This is a school!
225
00:11:56,716 --> 00:11:57,717
[typewriter dings]
226
00:11:57,800 --> 00:12:00,344
[keys clack]
227
00:12:02,513 --> 00:12:04,348
Is that a Remington Deluxe Model 5?
228
00:12:05,266 --> 00:12:06,100
Good ear.
229
00:12:06,726 --> 00:12:08,060
His name's Belmondo.
230
00:12:09,437 --> 00:12:12,815
That's crazy.
I have a hammer named Lorenzo.
231
00:12:14,316 --> 00:12:15,568
Are you making fun of me?
232
00:12:16,068 --> 00:12:17,319
No, look, look.
233
00:12:19,155 --> 00:12:20,364
[chuckles]
234
00:12:21,365 --> 00:12:23,117
It's a pleasure to meet you, Lorenzo.
235
00:12:25,369 --> 00:12:28,581
And I am Lorenzo's colleague, Schneider.
236
00:12:29,123 --> 00:12:29,957
Avery.
237
00:12:30,666 --> 00:12:33,544
So are you a parent
or a teacher or a student?
238
00:12:33,627 --> 00:12:34,879
Please don't say student.
239
00:12:36,338 --> 00:12:37,298
Well, I'm...
240
00:12:37,381 --> 00:12:40,217
I teach kindergarten.
But really I'm a poet.
241
00:12:40,301 --> 00:12:42,094
I'm selling custom poems.
242
00:12:42,178 --> 00:12:43,095
No kidding.
243
00:12:43,179 --> 00:12:46,265
I type them onto paper I make at home
from recycled phone books.
244
00:12:46,348 --> 00:12:48,350
And my ribbon is loaded
with cuttlefish ink.
245
00:12:49,477 --> 00:12:51,562
Cuttlefish is my favorite cephalopod ink.
246
00:12:52,313 --> 00:12:53,939
- How's business?
- Not great.
247
00:12:57,610 --> 00:12:58,444
Oh, a customer!
248
00:12:58,527 --> 00:12:59,904
Catch you later, neighbor.
249
00:13:00,488 --> 00:13:01,322
Hi.
250
00:13:04,825 --> 00:13:06,827
Did I eat soft cheese?
251
00:13:10,748 --> 00:13:12,750
Let's see how many bids we have, huh?
252
00:13:13,667 --> 00:13:15,836
- Ay.
- Oh, sugar.
253
00:13:23,928 --> 00:13:26,263
These boots were not made for walking.
254
00:13:28,516 --> 00:13:30,309
Leslie, back to the corral!
255
00:13:30,392 --> 00:13:31,227
Elena's coming.
256
00:13:34,688 --> 00:13:37,483
Dr. Berkowitz,
why are you wearing cowboy boots?
257
00:13:37,566 --> 00:13:41,278
There's a long-storied history
of Jewish cowboys.
258
00:13:42,822 --> 00:13:44,573
Yippee-ki-oy vey!
259
00:13:48,953 --> 00:13:51,956
Abuelita, you can't be wearing
those high heels,
260
00:13:52,039 --> 00:13:54,083
and what happened to the knitting lessons?
261
00:13:54,166 --> 00:13:56,502
You are putting yourself
in serious danger.
262
00:13:56,585 --> 00:13:58,546
You're not some kid
at the Havana club anymore,
263
00:13:58,629 --> 00:13:59,880
you're an old woman.
264
00:13:59,964 --> 00:14:02,925
And you think an old woman could do this?
265
00:14:03,384 --> 00:14:06,387
[vocalizes in rhythm]
266
00:14:07,388 --> 00:14:08,222
Woo!
267
00:14:11,851 --> 00:14:12,685
Fine.
268
00:14:13,143 --> 00:14:16,689
Clearly you don't care what Mom
or me or the doctor says.
269
00:14:18,482 --> 00:14:19,316
I give up.
270
00:14:20,776 --> 00:14:22,778
That was very impressive.
271
00:14:23,279 --> 00:14:25,781
Most women your age
would have twisted an ankle.
272
00:14:27,116 --> 00:14:28,033
[hoarsely] I did.
273
00:14:29,201 --> 00:14:30,536
[groans]
274
00:14:35,499 --> 00:14:36,375
[clears throat]
275
00:14:37,501 --> 00:14:39,628
Is Belmondo acting up?
276
00:14:39,712 --> 00:14:40,796
Sure is.
277
00:14:40,880 --> 00:14:41,881
Keys are jammed.
278
00:14:41,964 --> 00:14:43,382
Oh. Let me take a look.
279
00:14:49,221 --> 00:14:51,056
You're really good with those tools.
280
00:14:51,140 --> 00:14:52,224
Oh, thanks.
281
00:14:52,683 --> 00:14:54,977
I like pretty much anything mechanical.
282
00:14:55,936 --> 00:15:01,692
To me, all these gears, springs,
and levers working in unison is like...
283
00:15:02,776 --> 00:15:04,695
poetry, you know?
284
00:15:05,988 --> 00:15:06,906
I do.
285
00:15:07,990 --> 00:15:12,286
Plus, with a typewriter, you can
create something that lasts forever.
286
00:15:13,412 --> 00:15:15,414
Something permanent you can...
287
00:15:16,665 --> 00:15:18,751
you can hold and cherish.
288
00:15:21,378 --> 00:15:22,379
[typewriter dings]
289
00:15:30,346 --> 00:15:31,972
Belmondo is fixed.
290
00:15:32,932 --> 00:15:34,767
Oh! Are you okay?
291
00:15:36,018 --> 00:15:37,561
All right, Abuelita, time to go.
292
00:15:37,645 --> 00:15:40,272
And no need to be dramatic.
You win.
293
00:15:40,356 --> 00:15:42,483
You're free to make your own choices
about your health,
294
00:15:42,566 --> 00:15:45,319
even if those choices are stupid
and can put you back in a coma.
295
00:15:45,402 --> 00:15:47,404
You finally get it.
296
00:15:50,950 --> 00:15:51,867
[winces]
297
00:15:54,620 --> 00:15:56,246
[chuckles]
298
00:15:56,330 --> 00:16:00,000
Interesting items.
299
00:16:00,918 --> 00:16:01,752
Abuelita.
300
00:16:02,127 --> 00:16:03,253
Did you hurt yourself?
301
00:16:03,337 --> 00:16:04,713
Don't be ridiculous.
302
00:16:04,797 --> 00:16:06,674
I'm simply interested in vaginal...
303
00:16:18,852 --> 00:16:20,062
I hurt my ankle.
304
00:16:21,188 --> 00:16:22,022
Okay.
305
00:16:22,731 --> 00:16:25,693
Dr. B. Can you please give us a hand?
We need to get her to the car.
306
00:16:25,776 --> 00:16:26,610
Of course.
307
00:16:26,694 --> 00:16:27,820
[yells]
308
00:16:32,032 --> 00:16:34,618
[Dr. Berkowitz]
I might need some help as well.
309
00:16:36,912 --> 00:16:38,414
I've been outbid.
310
00:16:38,497 --> 00:16:39,707
You have? By who?
311
00:16:40,249 --> 00:16:41,083
By me.
312
00:16:44,253 --> 00:16:47,089
Well, I have a tradition
to maintain, so...
313
00:16:49,383 --> 00:16:51,719
Well, I'm not much for tradition, so...
314
00:17:01,061 --> 00:17:02,563
I've had this dream.
315
00:17:07,568 --> 00:17:09,194
This is getting boring.
[clears throat]
316
00:17:13,240 --> 00:17:16,702
Whoa, she wrote a lot of zeros
and turned two of them in the boobs.
317
00:17:18,328 --> 00:17:20,706
I, um...I can't compete with that.
318
00:17:22,249 --> 00:17:23,876
Will you excuse me for one second?
319
00:17:25,252 --> 00:17:26,086
Yeah.
320
00:17:27,713 --> 00:17:30,215
No, Nikki. No, no, no.
321
00:17:32,301 --> 00:17:36,597
I'm breaking this cycle,
this dance of death that we do.
322
00:17:36,680 --> 00:17:38,098
I know Avery and I just met,
323
00:17:38,182 --> 00:17:41,435
but she's making me feel things
that I've never felt before.
324
00:17:41,518 --> 00:17:42,603
Okay, bring her.
325
00:17:53,238 --> 00:17:55,824
Really? No, no, no, no!
326
00:17:58,660 --> 00:17:59,620
[exclaims]
327
00:18:00,621 --> 00:18:02,873
[clears throat] So...
328
00:18:03,624 --> 00:18:06,752
Um, did you really mean
what you said about me?
329
00:18:07,669 --> 00:18:08,504
Yeah.
330
00:18:10,089 --> 00:18:13,425
I had a really nice time
meeting you and Belmondo tonight.
331
00:18:13,509 --> 00:18:14,468
Us too.
332
00:18:15,636 --> 00:18:16,470
In fact,
333
00:18:17,304 --> 00:18:19,264
we wrote you a poem.
334
00:18:23,060 --> 00:18:23,894
Oh.
335
00:18:25,354 --> 00:18:26,271
This is really...
336
00:18:27,397 --> 00:18:29,316
experimental. [chuckles]
337
00:18:29,399 --> 00:18:30,442
That's my phone number.
338
00:18:35,239 --> 00:18:36,073
Got ya.
339
00:18:37,157 --> 00:18:37,991
Thanks.
340
00:18:39,243 --> 00:18:40,744
I will be calling.
341
00:18:41,620 --> 00:18:43,872
Wow, it's just...it's so refreshing
342
00:18:43,956 --> 00:18:45,499
to meet someone at one of these things
343
00:18:45,582 --> 00:18:48,210
that isn't a a privileged, rich,
trust-fund baby.
344
00:18:53,841 --> 00:18:57,136
We are so on the same page. It's crazy.
345
00:19:02,224 --> 00:19:03,934
Congratulations, we did it.
346
00:19:04,476 --> 00:19:05,978
[both] Woo-woo!
347
00:19:07,521 --> 00:19:09,356
Yeah, we did such a great job
348
00:19:09,439 --> 00:19:11,984
that Nikki will take all the credit
for it at the PTA meeting.
349
00:19:14,653 --> 00:19:15,737
Hey, you know what?
350
00:19:15,821 --> 00:19:18,699
I was thinking that you and me,
we should go out sometime.
351
00:19:19,992 --> 00:19:20,826
Go out?
352
00:19:20,909 --> 00:19:22,870
Yeah, you know, grab a drink, see a movie.
353
00:19:22,953 --> 00:19:25,706
Call the heat lamp company, start yelling.
I don't know, date stuff.
354
00:19:28,208 --> 00:19:29,084
Um...
355
00:19:31,128 --> 00:19:32,337
I don't think we should.
356
00:19:34,506 --> 00:19:35,340
Okay.
357
00:19:35,924 --> 00:19:38,218
I mean, you're the only parent here
I actually like.
358
00:19:38,302 --> 00:19:39,761
We're friends.
359
00:19:39,845 --> 00:19:41,138
I'd really hate to mess that up.
360
00:19:41,221 --> 00:19:42,181
- Right?
- Right, yeah.
361
00:19:42,264 --> 00:19:45,434
Then we'd be stuck with each other
for four more awkward years.
362
00:19:45,517 --> 00:19:46,435
Yeah, no, totally.
363
00:19:46,518 --> 00:19:48,270
But I am so flattered.
364
00:19:48,353 --> 00:19:50,272
- 'Cause you...
- Yeah, I know, all good.
365
00:19:51,857 --> 00:19:53,358
I hope I didn't make it weird.
366
00:19:53,442 --> 00:19:54,902
No, come on, no. All good.
367
00:20:02,075 --> 00:20:05,245
[sighs] Here you go, Abuelita.
This should help with the swelling.
368
00:20:05,829 --> 00:20:06,663
Thank you.
369
00:20:10,584 --> 00:20:12,794
Now can we talk about
getting rid of the high heels?
370
00:20:12,878 --> 00:20:14,129
- [sighs]
- Elena, please,
371
00:20:14,213 --> 00:20:15,839
give the woman a moment's peace.
372
00:20:17,925 --> 00:20:19,343
I'm just used to taking her side.
373
00:20:19,426 --> 00:20:21,428
I don't even know what you guys
are talking about.
374
00:20:28,185 --> 00:20:29,019
Abuelita...
375
00:20:30,812 --> 00:20:31,688
please.
376
00:20:32,356 --> 00:20:36,151
I haven't slept since I saw you
lying in that hospital bed.
377
00:20:36,735 --> 00:20:39,488
I am so worried that something
is going to happen to you,
378
00:20:39,571 --> 00:20:42,991
and you're being stubborn
about a silly pair of shoes.
379
00:20:44,743 --> 00:20:45,577
Mija.
380
00:20:47,537 --> 00:20:49,581
It's not just about the shoes.
381
00:20:50,666 --> 00:20:53,502
It's...once the heels go,
382
00:20:54,253 --> 00:20:55,170
what's next?
383
00:20:56,213 --> 00:21:01,093
I don't want to put them on a shelf
and remember who I was.
384
00:21:02,052 --> 00:21:04,846
I want to be who I am.
385
00:21:05,931 --> 00:21:06,890
My abuela,
386
00:21:07,516 --> 00:21:08,433
Maria Luisa.
387
00:21:09,142 --> 00:21:13,230
She wore her four-inch
ruby stilettos everywhere,
388
00:21:13,313 --> 00:21:14,648
even snorkeling.
389
00:21:18,193 --> 00:21:21,363
Oh, boy, she was a strong woman.
390
00:21:23,031 --> 00:21:25,867
And she remained elegant.
391
00:21:27,202 --> 00:21:30,789
In spite of living in the world
that was not always beautiful.
392
00:21:33,250 --> 00:21:35,794
And she was who she was.
393
00:21:37,963 --> 00:21:39,381
Until the day she died.
394
00:21:43,844 --> 00:21:46,513
- I also have a really strong abuelita.
- [chuckles]
395
00:21:48,056 --> 00:21:49,641
And I want to keep her strong.
396
00:21:52,311 --> 00:21:53,562
So do you think that...
397
00:21:54,438 --> 00:21:56,732
she can be who she is
398
00:21:57,232 --> 00:21:58,942
in a slightly lower heel?
399
00:22:01,153 --> 00:22:02,029
For me?
400
00:22:04,239 --> 00:22:05,115
For you?
401
00:22:07,409 --> 00:22:08,827
Maybe she could try.
402
00:22:10,370 --> 00:22:13,332
If the shoes are sufficiently stylish,
403
00:22:13,415 --> 00:22:15,751
with a little platform,
and a bit of sparkle.
404
00:22:18,962 --> 00:22:19,796
Deal.
405
00:22:20,255 --> 00:22:21,089
Okay.
406
00:22:24,760 --> 00:22:27,721
And you know, maybe sometimes
you can use the cane.
407
00:22:27,804 --> 00:22:29,097
- Take the win.
- Okay.
408
00:22:33,477 --> 00:22:35,062
I want to make an announcement.
409
00:22:35,729 --> 00:22:37,147
Mami, what happened to the motor?
410
00:22:37,230 --> 00:22:39,149
Oh, so tragic.
411
00:22:40,317 --> 00:22:43,612
It broke when it was hit several times
412
00:22:43,695 --> 00:22:45,822
by a cane, which also broke.
413
00:22:47,741 --> 00:22:49,284
So what's your announcement?
414
00:22:49,368 --> 00:22:53,330
I realize that there are many things
I still want to do with my life.
415
00:22:53,955 --> 00:22:56,375
So I made a bouquet list.
416
00:23:02,297 --> 00:23:03,924
Do you mean a bucket list?
417
00:23:04,508 --> 00:23:05,759
No, that makes no sense.
418
00:23:07,719 --> 00:23:09,513
It is a bouquet list
419
00:23:09,596 --> 00:23:14,351
because it is an arrangement of all of
the beautiful things you still want to do
420
00:23:14,476 --> 00:23:15,727
before you kick the bucket.
421
00:23:20,982 --> 00:23:21,900
What'd you put on it?
422
00:23:22,943 --> 00:23:25,237
To sing in front of a big band again,
423
00:23:25,320 --> 00:23:27,155
hold my grandchildren's children,
424
00:23:27,239 --> 00:23:29,199
have someone explain Star Wars to me.
425
00:23:31,368 --> 00:23:32,411
Okay.
426
00:23:32,494 --> 00:23:33,578
"A long time ago
427
00:23:33,662 --> 00:23:36,498
- in a galaxy far, far away..."
- Check. Done.
428
00:23:37,165 --> 00:23:38,458
[knock on door]
429
00:23:42,504 --> 00:23:44,256
Mateo? Is everything okay?
430
00:23:44,339 --> 00:23:46,425
- Can I talk to you for a sec?
- Sure.
431
00:23:48,844 --> 00:23:49,928
What's up?
432
00:23:50,470 --> 00:23:53,598
Earlier you asked if I wanted
to go out with you and I said no.
433
00:23:53,682 --> 00:23:54,724
I remember.
434
00:23:54,808 --> 00:23:56,726
I said I wanted to protect the friendship.
435
00:23:56,810 --> 00:23:58,437
Yeah, that happened like an hour ago.
436
00:23:58,520 --> 00:24:00,647
I remember stuff,
I'm not freaking Memento.
437
00:24:01,231 --> 00:24:04,067
I actually don't want
to be friends with you.
438
00:24:04,526 --> 00:24:06,403
Okay, well, that could have been an email.
439
00:24:07,320 --> 00:24:09,531
Sorry. I'm not great at this.
440
00:24:10,365 --> 00:24:11,575
It's been 15 years.
441
00:24:13,118 --> 00:24:15,245
The thing is,
when you spilled water on your...
442
00:24:18,665 --> 00:24:20,876
It's like I saw you in a brand new way.
443
00:24:20,959 --> 00:24:23,211
Huh! Interesting. Go on.
444
00:24:24,379 --> 00:24:26,465
And then you asked me out and I panicked.
445
00:24:26,548 --> 00:24:29,468
I mean, I haven't been on a date
since I split with my wife.
446
00:24:29,551 --> 00:24:30,385
Mateo...
447
00:24:31,720 --> 00:24:33,138
Are you asking me on a date?
448
00:24:34,097 --> 00:24:34,931
I am.
449
00:24:37,225 --> 00:24:40,937
I actually started thinking about it
and I don't think it's a good idea.
450
00:24:43,064 --> 00:24:44,483
Remember five seconds ago
451
00:24:44,566 --> 00:24:47,319
when you asked me out,
I said no, but I meant to say yes?
452
00:24:48,945 --> 00:24:50,363
[Lydia] Stop toying with the man!
453
00:24:50,447 --> 00:24:53,783
Invite him in so he can see
what you will look like in ten years!
454
00:24:56,578 --> 00:24:58,580
[theme music plays]
32917
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