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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:01,000 --> 00:00:02,934 ** [harmonica] 2 00:00:05,601 --> 00:00:07,100 Hi. 3 00:00:07,167 --> 00:00:08,300 Hey! 4 00:00:08,367 --> 00:00:10,000 What'd the doctor say? How's the baby? 5 00:00:10,067 --> 00:00:13,567 Well, she's doing great, and, uh--pretty weird 6 00:00:13,634 --> 00:00:15,067 She's bigger than normal. 7 00:00:15,133 --> 00:00:16,667 Go figure. Ha! 8 00:00:16,734 --> 00:00:19,334 And they say it's bad to live under power lines. 9 00:00:19,400 --> 00:00:20,434 [snaps fingers] 10 00:00:20,501 --> 00:00:23,667 Yeah, first I felt weird for gaining 30 pounds. 11 00:00:23,734 --> 00:00:27,734 But now I figure... most of that weight's the fetus. 12 00:00:27,801 --> 00:00:30,200 Hello? 13 00:00:30,267 --> 00:00:34,200 Hello, Connor baby! 14 00:00:34,267 --> 00:00:36,133 Oh, man! 15 00:00:36,200 --> 00:00:40,200 [giggles] That's four inches of fightin' fury. 16 00:00:40,267 --> 00:00:42,000 Boy, this one really can kick. 17 00:00:42,067 --> 00:00:46,934 Yeah, yesterday, I got slapped in the head with my own boob. 18 00:00:47,000 --> 00:00:50,400 And we're gonna spoil you rotten, little girl. 19 00:00:50,467 --> 00:00:52,334 Oh, yes, we are! 20 00:00:52,400 --> 00:00:55,267 $1,500 in the bank! 21 00:00:55,334 --> 00:00:58,534 We can afford to buy you food and water... 22 00:00:58,601 --> 00:01:01,667 and maybe a shiny new table saw. 23 00:01:01,734 --> 00:01:06,234 That's great, Dan, except... 24 00:01:06,300 --> 00:01:07,734 that... 25 00:01:07,801 --> 00:01:10,067 we owe the doctor $2,000. 26 00:01:10,133 --> 00:01:11,234 What? 27 00:01:11,300 --> 00:01:13,901 We have to pre-pay the cost of having the baby. 28 00:01:13,968 --> 00:01:16,334 We didn't have to do that with the first batch. 29 00:01:16,400 --> 00:01:18,234 [sighs] Well, back then we were broke 30 00:01:18,300 --> 00:01:19,834 and the county took care of it. 31 00:01:19,901 --> 00:01:21,934 That's why those kids were free. 32 00:01:22,000 --> 00:01:25,033 And apparently, you do get what you pay for. 33 00:01:25,100 --> 00:01:27,501 Hey, we brought in all the groceries, 34 00:01:27,567 --> 00:01:29,033 but where does everything go? 35 00:01:29,100 --> 00:01:33,534 Well, the frozen stuff goes in...the freezer! 36 00:01:33,601 --> 00:01:36,567 And the canned stuff goes on the shelf. 37 00:01:36,634 --> 00:01:38,000 And that about covers it. 38 00:01:40,200 --> 00:01:42,868 Boy, it's gonna be tight. 39 00:01:42,934 --> 00:01:46,634 I wish...we would have invested better. 40 00:01:46,701 --> 00:01:50,501 Why, oh, why did we stop buying lottery tickets? 41 00:01:50,567 --> 00:01:54,133 Mom, Dad, we have got some amazing news. 42 00:01:57,434 --> 00:01:59,501 It was available right away, so... we just took it. 43 00:01:59,567 --> 00:02:01,000 That's great. 44 00:02:01,067 --> 00:02:04,434 Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes! 45 00:02:04,501 --> 00:02:07,033 Of course we'll miss having you around and all. 46 00:02:09,200 --> 00:02:13,067 Gee, Dan, I've never seen you this deliriously unhappy. 47 00:02:13,133 --> 00:02:14,434 Where's the apartment at? 48 00:02:14,501 --> 00:02:16,334 Well, that's the best part. It's not an apartment. 49 00:02:16,400 --> 00:02:18,934 It's a chance for us to buy something that's really ours. 50 00:02:19,000 --> 00:02:20,601 You're buying a house? 51 00:02:20,667 --> 00:02:22,033 How can you afford that? 52 00:02:22,100 --> 00:02:24,534 Because it's not a house. 53 00:02:24,601 --> 00:02:25,767 It is a trailer! 54 00:02:29,000 --> 00:02:32,100 It is, like, the cutest little trailer you have ever seen. 55 00:02:32,167 --> 00:02:33,434 Isn't this incredible? 56 00:02:33,501 --> 00:02:35,901 Yeah. Well... 57 00:02:35,968 --> 00:02:38,834 that's, like, the best news I've heard... 58 00:02:38,901 --> 00:02:40,567 since you married Mark. 59 00:02:44,434 --> 00:02:46,367 ** [theme] 60 00:03:25,434 --> 00:03:27,467 [laughs] 61 00:03:36,167 --> 00:03:37,934 Aunt Jackie? Hmm? 62 00:03:38,000 --> 00:03:39,400 Didn't you wanna keep this? 63 00:03:39,467 --> 00:03:43,801 No. No. Family things need to be passed down. 64 00:03:43,868 --> 00:03:45,200 Now... 65 00:03:45,267 --> 00:03:46,801 that's the chair I was telling you about. 66 00:03:46,868 --> 00:03:50,767 That's one of my favorites, but I want you to have that. 67 00:03:50,834 --> 00:03:52,968 Well, why haven't I, like, seen it before? 68 00:03:53,033 --> 00:03:54,000 Um... 69 00:03:54,067 --> 00:03:56,934 Oh, it...works in so many different rooms 70 00:03:57,000 --> 00:03:59,734 that lately we've just been keeping it in the garage. 71 00:03:59,801 --> 00:04:01,067 [laughs] 72 00:04:01,133 --> 00:04:02,200 Don't sit on that! 73 00:04:02,267 --> 00:04:03,734 No... 74 00:04:03,801 --> 00:04:07,000 No, that's more just for looks. 75 00:04:07,067 --> 00:04:09,701 Well, that's certainly generous of you, Jackie. 76 00:04:09,767 --> 00:04:13,968 Maybe tomorrow you can bring by your beanless bean-bag chair. 77 00:04:14,033 --> 00:04:16,634 I'll just run that inside for ya. 78 00:04:18,734 --> 00:04:20,267 Hey, Beck, did you see the bathroom door? 79 00:04:20,334 --> 00:04:21,601 It slides into the wall! 80 00:04:21,667 --> 00:04:23,400 Shhhh! Just like Star Trek. 81 00:04:23,467 --> 00:04:24,701 No way! 82 00:04:26,267 --> 00:04:28,167 Aren't you gonna come see it, Mom? 83 00:04:28,234 --> 00:04:31,701 No, I hate the future. 84 00:04:31,767 --> 00:04:35,334 Man, oh, man. I'm beat. 85 00:04:35,400 --> 00:04:36,567 [groans] 86 00:04:36,634 --> 00:04:39,767 Hasn't this just been a great day? 87 00:04:39,834 --> 00:04:41,367 You sure are chipper? 88 00:04:41,434 --> 00:04:44,734 Yeah, well, you know, that's my way. 89 00:04:44,801 --> 00:04:46,901 Your oldest daughter's leaving home. 90 00:04:46,968 --> 00:04:49,601 I just figured you'd be sad. 91 00:04:49,667 --> 00:04:52,267 Very, very, very, very... 92 00:04:52,334 --> 00:04:54,334 very sad. 93 00:04:54,400 --> 00:04:56,534 It's not like she's leaving town. 94 00:04:56,601 --> 00:04:59,968 It's like she's gone camping for the rest of her life. 95 00:05:01,667 --> 00:05:03,467 My turn. 96 00:05:06,367 --> 00:05:08,334 Ah. [chuckles] 97 00:05:08,400 --> 00:05:09,868 Remember our first place? 98 00:05:09,934 --> 00:05:12,033 Yeah, that was a dump. 99 00:05:12,100 --> 00:05:14,200 When are we movin' out of there? 100 00:05:15,601 --> 00:05:19,100 My sister is moving into a trailer park. 101 00:05:19,167 --> 00:05:22,334 [laughs] I can't tell you where I was the day Kennedy was shot, 102 00:05:22,400 --> 00:05:25,167 but I will always remember this moment. 103 00:05:25,234 --> 00:05:27,734 I don't think it's so bad, Darlene. 104 00:05:27,801 --> 00:05:29,901 I mean it's like they're living in a house... 105 00:05:29,968 --> 00:05:31,267 It's just got wheels. 106 00:05:31,334 --> 00:05:33,033 It's like living in your car... 107 00:05:33,100 --> 00:05:36,734 only better, 'cause it's, you know, bigger. 108 00:05:36,801 --> 00:05:39,200 So it's kinda like living in a bus. 109 00:05:39,267 --> 00:05:40,434 Plus you got the bathroom. 110 00:05:40,501 --> 00:05:45,167 So it's kinda like a...really...nice bus. 111 00:05:45,234 --> 00:05:48,901 Yeah, well, pull the cord. I'm getting off. 112 00:05:48,968 --> 00:05:52,400 Hey, don't make fun of your sister living in a trailer. 113 00:05:52,467 --> 00:05:54,167 If it's good enough for carnival folk, 114 00:05:54,234 --> 00:05:56,234 it's good enough for the Connors. 115 00:05:59,701 --> 00:06:01,267 Hey! 116 00:06:01,334 --> 00:06:06,434 I certainly hope you're gonna clean this mess up when you're done. 117 00:06:06,501 --> 00:06:10,634 You were afraid there would be no stills nearby. 118 00:06:11,834 --> 00:06:13,868 So, are you the new owners of this dump? 119 00:06:13,934 --> 00:06:16,467 Do we look like we're made out of money? 120 00:06:16,534 --> 00:06:18,868 We rent. 121 00:06:18,934 --> 00:06:20,767 Where you from? 122 00:06:20,834 --> 00:06:23,133 We're from Europe. 123 00:06:25,400 --> 00:06:27,701 Unless you got a problem with that. 124 00:06:29,234 --> 00:06:30,868 We're the Connors. 125 00:06:30,934 --> 00:06:32,234 Hey. 126 00:06:32,300 --> 00:06:34,234 Connors? 127 00:06:34,300 --> 00:06:37,434 Did you ever do time at Joliet? 128 00:06:38,667 --> 00:06:40,400 No, but I've got a question for you. 129 00:06:40,467 --> 00:06:42,167 Do you ever brush your teeth? 130 00:06:42,234 --> 00:06:44,767 Hey, that's personal information, missy. 131 00:06:44,834 --> 00:06:47,534 We mind our own beeswax around here. 132 00:06:47,601 --> 00:06:50,167 Well, in that case, I'm not gonna ask if that's your kid 133 00:06:50,234 --> 00:06:54,334 sucking on the Windex bottle over there. 134 00:06:54,400 --> 00:06:55,367 Eddie? 135 00:06:55,434 --> 00:06:58,234 For God's sake, put that thing down! 136 00:06:58,300 --> 00:07:01,267 And you, you stay away fro my husband! 137 00:07:01,334 --> 00:07:03,534 [laughs] Girls let's be neighborly. 138 00:07:03,601 --> 00:07:05,267 Unless, of course, you wanna swap. 139 00:07:05,334 --> 00:07:06,868 Hey, baby. 140 00:07:06,934 --> 00:07:08,834 Big hunk o-man. 141 00:07:10,667 --> 00:07:12,367 Listen, missy! 142 00:07:12,434 --> 00:07:14,801 We don't know you and we don't want to know you, 143 00:07:14,868 --> 00:07:16,467 and here's why! 144 00:07:16,534 --> 00:07:18,200 We're better than you! [scoffs] 145 00:07:18,267 --> 00:07:22,267 And we almost never get a chance to say that. 146 00:07:22,334 --> 00:07:25,167 Fine with me, sister! 147 00:07:26,534 --> 00:07:27,734 Here! 148 00:07:27,801 --> 00:07:32,133 It's some coupons and a map to get around the park. 149 00:07:32,200 --> 00:07:34,801 I'm the welcome wagon. 150 00:07:34,868 --> 00:07:37,434 Welcome, welcome. 151 00:07:40,434 --> 00:07:43,067 Don't you ever feed my dog. 152 00:07:43,133 --> 00:07:47,367 If I get drunk enough, I'll fight your dog! 153 00:07:49,400 --> 00:07:51,501 Man, is she a snob. 154 00:07:51,567 --> 00:07:52,968 Come on, Darlene. 155 00:07:53,033 --> 00:07:56,300 It won't kill us to help clean the place. 156 00:07:56,367 --> 00:07:59,501 Unless the wind picks up. 157 00:07:59,567 --> 00:08:02,100 Oh. Uh, everybody's back in the bedroom. 158 00:08:02,167 --> 00:08:04,501 So you might wanna hang out in the living room. 159 00:08:04,567 --> 00:08:07,033 'Cause we don't want the thing to tilt. 160 00:08:10,634 --> 00:08:13,033 Found the perfect spot. 161 00:08:14,701 --> 00:08:16,167 I don't know about this, Roseanne. 162 00:08:16,234 --> 00:08:17,167 I'm a little worried. 163 00:08:17,234 --> 00:08:18,434 It'll be fine, Dan. 164 00:08:18,501 --> 00:08:22,701 I told you it was a speed bump you hit, not a cat. 165 00:08:22,767 --> 00:08:25,701 Oh, I don't know. Maybe Darlene's right. 166 00:08:25,767 --> 00:08:27,534 Becky doesn't belong in a trailer park. 167 00:08:27,601 --> 00:08:30,067 Well, we'll have them fix it up, you know? 168 00:08:30,133 --> 00:08:33,968 Maybe we can get them a van to use as a guest room. 169 00:08:34,033 --> 00:08:35,834 Becky! Mark! 170 00:08:35,901 --> 00:08:37,267 They'll be fine. 171 00:08:38,367 --> 00:08:40,133 Yeah? 172 00:08:40,200 --> 00:08:43,133 Um, your Dad and I would like to offer 173 00:08:43,200 --> 00:08:45,334 to help you fix this place up a little. 174 00:08:45,400 --> 00:08:47,400 I'll make curtains, and your Dad can help you with the plumbing. 175 00:08:47,467 --> 00:08:49,100 And we'll get you a little fence-- 176 00:08:49,167 --> 00:08:50,267 Security system. 177 00:08:50,334 --> 00:08:53,033 Or at least one of those little signs. 178 00:08:53,100 --> 00:08:55,434 Aw, you guys, that's really sweet. 179 00:08:55,501 --> 00:08:57,234 But Mark and I don't want any help. 180 00:08:57,300 --> 00:08:58,834 It's really important for us to do this on our own. 181 00:08:58,901 --> 00:09:00,234 But there's so much to do. 182 00:09:00,300 --> 00:09:03,400 Yeah but eventually, over the years, it'll all get done. 183 00:09:03,467 --> 00:09:06,400 Well, you gotta let us give you something. 184 00:09:06,467 --> 00:09:09,434 What about a big-headed banjo-playing boy 185 00:09:09,501 --> 00:09:11,567 for the front porch? 186 00:09:11,634 --> 00:09:13,367 I said no. 187 00:09:13,434 --> 00:09:15,834 We want to do this ourselves. 188 00:09:18,734 --> 00:09:19,767 Think they're gonna be all right? 189 00:09:19,834 --> 00:09:22,100 It could be worse. 190 00:09:22,167 --> 00:09:24,400 They could be parked on a hill. 191 00:09:29,934 --> 00:09:31,534 Hey, Bob? 192 00:09:31,601 --> 00:09:33,033 I need you to put this carburetor 193 00:09:33,100 --> 00:09:34,801 back in the garbage truck after lunch. 194 00:09:34,868 --> 00:09:36,000 And be careful. 195 00:09:36,067 --> 00:09:38,534 It took me all morning to get it adjusted right. 196 00:09:38,601 --> 00:09:39,734 Jeez, Dan, I got a big lunch here. 197 00:09:39,801 --> 00:09:43,100 I was kinda hoping to let it settle for a while. 198 00:09:43,167 --> 00:09:44,868 Fred, you mind helping him out? 199 00:09:44,934 --> 00:09:46,734 No problem. 200 00:09:49,901 --> 00:09:53,000 Listen, you guys, I need to talk to you about something. 201 00:09:54,734 --> 00:09:57,234 Becky and Mark's trailer... 202 00:09:57,300 --> 00:09:59,567 Well, it's kind of a mess, right? 203 00:09:59,634 --> 00:10:02,167 And I want to be able to help them out, but they won't let me. 204 00:10:02,234 --> 00:10:03,567 They probably just want to be alone. 205 00:10:03,634 --> 00:10:04,901 You know the old saying: 206 00:10:04,968 --> 00:10:07,133 "When the trailer's rockin'..." 207 00:10:13,367 --> 00:10:15,801 Bob... 208 00:10:15,868 --> 00:10:18,701 we're talking about my daughter here. 209 00:10:18,767 --> 00:10:20,868 I know. 210 00:10:20,934 --> 00:10:23,000 I'm just saying that... 211 00:10:23,067 --> 00:10:25,567 if it's rockin'... 212 00:10:25,634 --> 00:10:27,567 you probably wanna... 213 00:10:27,634 --> 00:10:29,400 level it. 214 00:10:32,100 --> 00:10:33,801 What are you getting at, Dan? 215 00:10:33,868 --> 00:10:36,400 Well, I know I'm asking a lot, but here it goes. 216 00:10:36,467 --> 00:10:40,000 I wanna give Mark all the overtime...for a while. 217 00:10:40,067 --> 00:10:42,267 Don't worry about it, Dan. I understand. 218 00:10:42,334 --> 00:10:45,133 It's gotta be tough for these kids starting out in life. 219 00:10:45,200 --> 00:10:47,400 If there's anything we can do to make their load a little lighter, 220 00:10:47,467 --> 00:10:48,667 it's gonna be our pleasure. 221 00:10:51,133 --> 00:10:54,000 [sniffles and sighs] Give me a minute. 222 00:10:56,567 --> 00:10:58,501 Thanks, guys. 223 00:10:58,567 --> 00:11:00,334 Hey, Mark? 224 00:11:00,400 --> 00:11:02,968 When you get done with that, can I see you for a second? 225 00:11:03,033 --> 00:11:04,767 Oh! Wait a minute. 226 00:11:06,100 --> 00:11:08,501 There's no work for Mark to do around here right now. 227 00:11:08,567 --> 00:11:09,667 What are you talking about? 228 00:11:09,734 --> 00:11:11,167 What about the hydraulics on the garbage truck? 229 00:11:11,234 --> 00:11:12,367 I took care of it this morning. 230 00:11:12,434 --> 00:11:14,567 What about the school buses? We need them by Friday. 231 00:11:14,634 --> 00:11:17,100 It's all done, Dan. Damn! 232 00:11:17,167 --> 00:11:18,400 What the matter with you guys? 233 00:11:18,467 --> 00:11:20,167 We work for the city! 234 00:11:20,234 --> 00:11:24,267 Don't blame me, Dan. I didn't do squat. 235 00:11:24,334 --> 00:11:27,133 Yeah, but my daughter's livin' in a big... 236 00:11:27,200 --> 00:11:29,467 mailbox! 237 00:11:29,534 --> 00:11:31,567 There's gotta be somethin' around here that needs fixin'. 238 00:11:32,701 --> 00:11:33,634 Oh. 239 00:11:34,868 --> 00:11:36,667 You know, I bet the bottom of this here table 240 00:11:36,734 --> 00:11:38,300 could use a little paint. 241 00:11:40,033 --> 00:11:40,968 Woopsie. 242 00:11:42,801 --> 00:11:45,300 Forget about paintin' this table, Dan. 243 00:11:45,367 --> 00:11:48,033 What about this carburetor? 244 00:11:48,100 --> 00:11:50,801 I think I'll explain this to Bob outside. 245 00:11:53,033 --> 00:11:54,801 Hey. What's up, Dan? Mark. Good news. 246 00:11:54,868 --> 00:11:56,434 Got a little overtime for you. 247 00:11:56,501 --> 00:11:57,868 Look, I can't do any all week. 248 00:11:57,934 --> 00:11:59,400 I got a lot of stuff to do at the new place. 249 00:11:59,467 --> 00:12:02,167 Exactly! And that time-and-a-half 250 00:12:02,234 --> 00:12:03,968 couldn't come at a better time, could it? 251 00:12:04,033 --> 00:12:07,033 I'm sorry, Dan. Why don't you offer it to one of the other guys? 252 00:12:07,100 --> 00:12:09,300 The other guys can't do it, Mark. Why not? 253 00:12:09,367 --> 00:12:13,667 Uh...garage quartet's got a gig at the County Fair. 254 00:12:16,234 --> 00:12:17,834 Look, Dan, it's not like I don't want the money. 255 00:12:17,901 --> 00:12:19,968 I really can't do any this week. Okay? 256 00:12:21,033 --> 00:12:22,834 Dan. Weirdest thing. 257 00:12:22,901 --> 00:12:24,634 I just noticed the tail lights 258 00:12:24,701 --> 00:12:27,000 are all busted on that cop car out there. 259 00:12:28,567 --> 00:12:30,501 What's wrong with your foot, man? 260 00:12:30,567 --> 00:12:31,534 M-My foot? 261 00:12:31,601 --> 00:12:32,534 Yeah. 262 00:12:32,601 --> 00:12:33,701 New shoes. 263 00:12:34,868 --> 00:12:38,400 Brad. Apparently, this week, 264 00:12:38,467 --> 00:12:42,067 it's not the right week to paint the table. Okay? 265 00:12:42,133 --> 00:12:43,067 Oh? 266 00:12:43,133 --> 00:12:44,868 You, uh... you might 267 00:12:44,934 --> 00:12:46,467 want to talk to Bob. 268 00:12:49,100 --> 00:12:50,701 Bob? 269 00:12:50,767 --> 00:12:52,167 Where's Bob? 270 00:12:52,234 --> 00:12:54,200 You're not gonna believe this, Dan. [chuckles] 271 00:12:54,267 --> 00:12:56,267 Some clown must've poured sugar 272 00:12:56,334 --> 00:12:58,601 in the gas tank of that school bus. 273 00:12:59,767 --> 00:13:01,367 Bob... 274 00:13:01,434 --> 00:13:03,467 you--you can't fix somethin' like that. 275 00:13:04,534 --> 00:13:05,501 Right. 276 00:13:16,801 --> 00:13:17,901 Here we are. 277 00:13:18,968 --> 00:13:21,033 [sighs] Candles. Wow. 278 00:13:21,100 --> 00:13:22,467 Are these the regular kind 279 00:13:22,534 --> 00:13:24,901 or the fancy kind that keeps the bugs away? 280 00:13:24,968 --> 00:13:26,567 This is a special night. It's the first time 281 00:13:26,634 --> 00:13:28,000 we're the hosts and you're the guests. 282 00:13:29,133 --> 00:13:30,434 Look, Dan. It's the china 283 00:13:30,501 --> 00:13:32,100 we gave 'em for their wedding present. 284 00:13:32,167 --> 00:13:34,200 No, Mommy. I'm sure the ones we give 'em 285 00:13:34,267 --> 00:13:36,067 didn't have these little compartments. 286 00:13:36,133 --> 00:13:37,100 Fancy. 287 00:13:38,300 --> 00:13:39,234 Okay. 288 00:13:39,300 --> 00:13:40,567 Eat 'em quick. In 15 minutes, 289 00:13:40,634 --> 00:13:42,434 the bats start comin' around. 290 00:13:44,501 --> 00:13:45,601 This is great. 291 00:13:47,901 --> 00:13:48,968 Yeah, it is. 292 00:13:49,033 --> 00:13:51,767 Good food... great setting. 293 00:13:51,834 --> 00:13:53,400 Makes me wish our kitchen 294 00:13:53,467 --> 00:13:56,734 didn't have some stupid house around it. 295 00:13:56,801 --> 00:13:58,767 Now, before we start... 296 00:13:58,834 --> 00:14:00,767 Mark and I just want to say thank you. 297 00:14:00,834 --> 00:14:01,901 You guys were so great 298 00:14:01,968 --> 00:14:03,567 to put us up for so long. 299 00:14:03,634 --> 00:14:07,701 Oh, Becky, those three years just flew by. 300 00:14:07,767 --> 00:14:09,767 We were only there for one. 301 00:14:09,834 --> 00:14:10,767 Whatever. 302 00:14:12,033 --> 00:14:13,968 Anyway, so far, setting up house 303 00:14:14,033 --> 00:14:15,534 has been a really great experience. 304 00:14:15,601 --> 00:14:17,200 Well, good. In that case, 305 00:14:17,267 --> 00:14:18,968 I should do my motherly duty and tell you 306 00:14:19,033 --> 00:14:21,968 how you can cut down on your food budget. 307 00:14:22,033 --> 00:14:23,734 Okay, say you get this recipe, you know, 308 00:14:23,801 --> 00:14:25,634 and it calls for lobster... 309 00:14:25,701 --> 00:14:28,634 shrimp, and that expensive cookin' sherry? 310 00:14:28,701 --> 00:14:30,300 What you do is... 311 00:14:30,367 --> 00:14:31,968 you just tear up that recipe. 312 00:14:33,100 --> 00:14:34,033 Thanks, Mom. 313 00:14:34,100 --> 00:14:35,300 We've already figured out a couple 314 00:14:35,367 --> 00:14:37,300 of our own budget tricks. Like, these burgers? 315 00:14:37,367 --> 00:14:39,934 Cost 2.79 for a pound of ground beef, 316 00:14:40,000 --> 00:14:43,100 but only $1.19 for a pound of ground meat. 317 00:14:58,834 --> 00:15:00,300 [with mouth full] You guys got any water? 318 00:15:00,367 --> 00:15:02,234 Oh, shoot. I forgot to fill up the pitcher. 319 00:15:02,300 --> 00:15:04,067 I'll just run down to the community spigot. 320 00:15:05,868 --> 00:15:07,400 Your trailer doesn't have running water? 321 00:15:07,467 --> 00:15:09,133 Nah, the pipe was broken. 322 00:15:09,200 --> 00:15:12,033 I'll have enough saved up in a few weeks to buy a new one. No big deal. 323 00:15:12,100 --> 00:15:14,901 Whoa, Becky. Don't forget the purification tablets. Oh, yeah. 324 00:15:19,167 --> 00:15:20,234 Uh... 325 00:15:22,100 --> 00:15:23,868 Where'd you get this salt shaker? 326 00:15:23,934 --> 00:15:28,167 Oh, it was in the trailer when we moved in. The people before us left it. 327 00:15:28,234 --> 00:15:31,067 Man, that's amazing. This is not just-- 328 00:15:31,133 --> 00:15:33,567 a regular salt shaker. This is-- 329 00:15:33,634 --> 00:15:36,801 a Niagara Falls salt shaker. So? 330 00:15:36,868 --> 00:15:40,701 I mean, antique stores pay an arm and a leg for this kind of thing. 331 00:15:40,767 --> 00:15:42,200 I should just take it now, 332 00:15:42,267 --> 00:15:44,567 and go ahead and give ya 50 bucks. 333 00:15:44,634 --> 00:15:45,901 Wow! Okay! 334 00:15:48,801 --> 00:15:51,334 And uh, you know, I was noticing your dad 335 00:15:51,400 --> 00:15:55,000 was checkin' out that antique hubcap over there. 336 00:15:55,067 --> 00:15:56,100 Huh? 337 00:15:56,167 --> 00:15:57,567 Oh! Yeah! Uh-- 338 00:15:59,200 --> 00:16:01,934 That hubcap. That baby there, that's, uh-- 339 00:16:02,000 --> 00:16:04,567 that's from a 1954, uh... 340 00:16:04,634 --> 00:16:06,300 [both] Fladler. Uh... 341 00:16:06,367 --> 00:16:08,801 It's a classic. Yeah. Let me see. Uh... 342 00:16:08,868 --> 00:16:10,100 Give you, uh... 343 00:16:10,167 --> 00:16:11,400 20 bucks for it. 344 00:16:11,467 --> 00:16:14,133 Ah, well, you know, that's the 1954 price. 345 00:16:14,200 --> 00:16:15,834 You gotta give 'em what it's worth today. 346 00:16:17,634 --> 00:16:19,067 $60? 347 00:16:20,968 --> 00:16:23,167 $70? Hey, Becky. [clears throat] 348 00:16:23,234 --> 00:16:25,701 Why don't you run and get that water? Okay! 349 00:16:25,767 --> 00:16:27,334 Uh, are you sure it's gonna be okay? 350 00:16:27,400 --> 00:16:29,968 I mean, by herself? With the dogs and everything? 351 00:16:30,033 --> 00:16:32,968 Yeah, sure. As long as you bring that big stick, with the long nail in it. 352 00:16:38,801 --> 00:16:40,200 [dogs barking] Hey, look. We told you guys. 353 00:16:40,267 --> 00:16:42,434 We don't want you to give us any money, remember? Yeah. 354 00:16:42,501 --> 00:16:44,167 All right. Well, then can't you at least 355 00:16:44,234 --> 00:16:45,901 be a little less obvious about it? 356 00:16:45,968 --> 00:16:47,734 Excuse me? Come on, Dan. 357 00:16:47,801 --> 00:16:50,567 Helpin' us out with that overtime thing at the garage, that was good. 358 00:16:50,634 --> 00:16:54,634 But this antique hubcap thing, that's ridiculous. 359 00:16:54,701 --> 00:16:56,667 Yeah, well-- And besides, we don't need any. 360 00:16:56,734 --> 00:16:59,067 Mrs. Conner just made us $50 on that salt shaker. 361 00:17:01,534 --> 00:17:04,133 Oh, you figured out what we were doin' down at the garage, huh? 362 00:17:04,200 --> 00:17:07,000 Come on, Dan. What do you think I am, stupid? 363 00:17:07,067 --> 00:17:08,534 Remember, Dan. We're guests here. 364 00:17:11,434 --> 00:17:12,901 Look. 365 00:17:12,968 --> 00:17:15,234 Don't tell Becky that I told you guys this, but-- 366 00:17:15,300 --> 00:17:17,367 she feels like, for the past couple years, 367 00:17:17,434 --> 00:17:19,767 well, you guys, you've given us a lot. 368 00:17:19,834 --> 00:17:21,434 Well, hey. We're family, you know. 369 00:17:21,501 --> 00:17:23,367 It's not like we're keeping some running tab 370 00:17:23,434 --> 00:17:26,033 of how much you owe us, in our top dresser drawer. 371 00:17:30,234 --> 00:17:32,167 And you know, with your baby comin' and everything, 372 00:17:32,234 --> 00:17:34,801 she feels like she doesn't want to be a drain on you any more. 373 00:17:34,868 --> 00:17:36,934 Well, why don't you just tell us that? 374 00:17:37,000 --> 00:17:38,100 Well, uh-- 375 00:17:38,167 --> 00:17:39,100 See, uh-- [stammers] 376 00:17:39,167 --> 00:17:40,567 Becky told me that-- 377 00:17:40,634 --> 00:17:42,734 well, you guys, you-- you know, you love her so much 378 00:17:42,801 --> 00:17:45,167 that you'd insist on helping, even if-- 379 00:17:45,234 --> 00:17:46,267 like, you couldn't afford to. 380 00:17:47,334 --> 00:17:48,767 Becky said that? 381 00:17:48,834 --> 00:17:49,968 Yeah. 382 00:17:50,033 --> 00:17:51,434 Got the water! 383 00:17:54,133 --> 00:17:56,434 Oh, Becky, that's so sweet. 384 00:18:06,100 --> 00:18:08,968 Can't believe how much stuff we're hauling outta here. 385 00:18:09,033 --> 00:18:11,133 Remember that hamster you lost when you were 8? 386 00:18:11,200 --> 00:18:12,667 I think I found him. 387 00:18:14,234 --> 00:18:16,567 Ooh. I always blamed that smell on Becky. 388 00:18:19,601 --> 00:18:22,667 Well, he won't be runnin' that wheel any time soon. 389 00:18:24,834 --> 00:18:27,467 Isn't it weird to see this place all cleaned out? 390 00:18:27,534 --> 00:18:31,100 Like, the only thing left of you girls is that, uh, 391 00:18:31,167 --> 00:18:33,501 Wrigley Field sign up there. 392 00:18:33,567 --> 00:18:34,868 You get that down for me? 393 00:18:42,634 --> 00:18:45,234 Ha. Seems like the sign's been up there forever. 394 00:18:45,300 --> 00:18:48,767 Hm. Yeah, well, that gum really holds. 395 00:18:50,567 --> 00:18:54,000 Man, everything in this house sure is changing. 396 00:18:54,067 --> 00:18:55,267 Kinda sad. 397 00:18:55,334 --> 00:18:57,067 Well, not everything's changing. I mean, 398 00:18:57,133 --> 00:19:00,100 we still got your dad, and the furniture, and-- 399 00:19:00,167 --> 00:19:01,434 D.J.'s haircut. 400 00:19:06,267 --> 00:19:08,367 Are you okay with this? 401 00:19:08,434 --> 00:19:11,033 I mean, another one of your kids movin' out? 402 00:19:11,100 --> 00:19:12,267 Yeah. Yeah. 403 00:19:12,334 --> 00:19:13,701 I'm okay. Yeah. 404 00:19:15,667 --> 00:19:18,667 I mean, I always knew you guys were gonna move out. I just-- 405 00:19:18,734 --> 00:19:20,868 was hoping you wouldn't tell me where you were going. 406 00:19:25,334 --> 00:19:27,300 Can I ask you somethin', Darlene? 407 00:19:27,367 --> 00:19:29,334 What? 408 00:19:29,400 --> 00:19:30,767 [sighs] 409 00:19:30,834 --> 00:19:34,400 Do you ever feel like your Dad and me 410 00:19:34,467 --> 00:19:36,067 didn't give you enough? 411 00:19:37,901 --> 00:19:39,033 What are you talking about? 412 00:19:39,100 --> 00:19:40,467 You didn't give us anything. 413 00:19:44,200 --> 00:19:46,000 No, I'm serious. 414 00:19:46,067 --> 00:19:49,300 You ever resent, like, not havin' a lot of stuff when you were younger? 415 00:19:49,367 --> 00:19:51,701 No. I used to steal a lot. 416 00:19:54,367 --> 00:19:56,033 Oh, come on, Mom. 417 00:19:56,100 --> 00:19:58,567 You guys were great parents. 418 00:19:58,634 --> 00:20:00,968 Yeah, well, we did have that one book and all. 419 00:20:02,567 --> 00:20:06,567 I know you did the best you could. I mean-- kids are expensive. 420 00:20:06,634 --> 00:20:10,133 Your food budget alone must have gone up by a tenth after you had us. 421 00:20:13,133 --> 00:20:14,467 Har... [laughs] 422 00:20:16,734 --> 00:20:18,534 [both laugh] 423 00:20:18,601 --> 00:20:21,601 I'm just worried maybe we didn't give you a good enough head start. 424 00:20:21,667 --> 00:20:23,467 You know? 425 00:20:23,534 --> 00:20:25,801 I always wanted to-- 426 00:20:25,868 --> 00:20:28,801 have our kids do better than we did. 427 00:20:28,868 --> 00:20:31,100 And that should have been a realistic goal. 428 00:20:32,767 --> 00:20:34,100 Becky just-- 429 00:20:34,167 --> 00:20:36,200 is takin' such a hard road. 430 00:20:36,267 --> 00:20:38,701 Eh, she's gonna be fine. 431 00:20:38,767 --> 00:20:40,567 I mean, she's strong, like you are. 432 00:20:40,634 --> 00:20:42,567 And that'll get her through whatever she has to go through. 433 00:20:43,634 --> 00:20:44,767 You think? 434 00:20:44,834 --> 00:20:46,667 Yeah! Definitely. 435 00:20:46,734 --> 00:20:49,133 So what if Becky's livin' in a trailer? 436 00:20:49,200 --> 00:20:50,834 It's not like she's used to livin' in luxury. 437 00:20:50,901 --> 00:20:52,400 You did that much for her! 438 00:20:52,467 --> 00:20:54,334 [laughing] 439 00:20:54,400 --> 00:20:56,634 Yeah, it was a crazy plan when we came up with it, 440 00:20:56,701 --> 00:20:58,901 but it really worked. [laughs] 441 00:21:00,767 --> 00:21:02,667 You know, Darlene, me and your Dad 442 00:21:02,734 --> 00:21:04,133 don't say this to you very often, 443 00:21:04,200 --> 00:21:05,801 'cause, well, it never comes up. 444 00:21:05,868 --> 00:21:08,100 But-- we're really proud of you. 445 00:21:09,434 --> 00:21:11,968 Even though I'm secretly a high-priced call girl? 446 00:21:15,934 --> 00:21:19,267 Because you're a high-priced one. [laughs] 447 00:21:22,834 --> 00:21:24,601 What the hell. Put that back up. 448 00:21:32,200 --> 00:21:34,501 ** [harmonica] 449 00:21:42,767 --> 00:21:43,868 Watch it, buddy! 450 00:21:43,934 --> 00:21:45,300 [stammering] I'm-- I'm sorry, 451 00:21:45,367 --> 00:21:47,133 Mr. Fishman. 452 00:21:47,200 --> 00:21:48,901 [imitates gunshot] Fired! 453 00:21:54,567 --> 00:21:57,033 You sent for me, Mr. Fishman? 454 00:21:57,100 --> 00:22:00,033 Hey, baby. Come sit down next to Uncle Mike. 455 00:22:03,834 --> 00:22:06,000 You know, I had a really good time 456 00:22:06,067 --> 00:22:07,434 working on the show this week. 457 00:22:07,501 --> 00:22:09,734 You're sweet, kid. 458 00:22:09,801 --> 00:22:12,868 You know later this season, the Conners are gonna get a French maid. 459 00:22:12,934 --> 00:22:14,267 Really? 460 00:22:14,334 --> 00:22:17,534 Yeah. Of course, I have to see you in the uniform first. 461 00:22:19,167 --> 00:22:20,801 [Roseanne, yelling] Hey, Fishman! I'm not tellin' you again! 462 00:22:20,868 --> 00:22:23,234 Keep your paws off the guest stars! 463 00:22:29,133 --> 00:22:30,734 There's a whole lot of man 464 00:22:30,801 --> 00:22:32,767 walkin' out that door right now. 465 00:22:33,934 --> 00:22:37,367 Stay away. He'll break your heart. 466 00:22:37,434 --> 00:22:39,334 Trust me. 467 00:22:39,400 --> 00:22:41,234 I been there. 468 00:22:54,334 --> 00:22:57,267 Closed-Captioning By J.R. Media Services, Inc. Burbank, CA 469 00:22:57,317 --> 00:23:01,867 Repair and Synchronization by Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0 34020

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