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1
00:00:06,667 --> 00:00:08,501
Well, I give up.
2
00:00:08,501 --> 00:00:10,367
Our insurance company
only gave us
3
00:00:10,367 --> 00:00:13,467
a hundred dollars
to fix this water damage.
4
00:00:13,467 --> 00:00:15,534
I mean, I can't get anybody
to paint it for that.
5
00:00:15,534 --> 00:00:16,701
Come on, Leon,
there's gotta be
6
00:00:16,701 --> 00:00:18,467
some interior decorator
out there
7
00:00:18,467 --> 00:00:21,033
that owes you a big favor.
8
00:00:21,033 --> 00:00:24,167
Oh, what a classy
comment, Roseanne.
9
00:00:24,167 --> 00:00:27,100
You know, it's a wonder
that you work here in a diner
10
00:00:27,100 --> 00:00:29,801
and not in the world of opera,
where they would appreciate
11
00:00:29,801 --> 00:00:31,434
a woman of your...girth.
12
00:00:31,434 --> 00:00:34,267
Don't talk to me about class.
13
00:00:34,267 --> 00:00:37,200
And it's pronounced Oprah.
14
00:00:43,334 --> 00:00:46,200
Listen, Stacy,
I'm really sorry
15
00:00:46,200 --> 00:00:48,033
about you breaking up
with you boyfriend.
16
00:00:48,033 --> 00:00:49,901
I know how hard that is.
17
00:00:49,901 --> 00:00:53,100
I mean, you feel alone,
you feel empty,
18
00:00:53,100 --> 00:00:55,601
you feel like a part
of you died.
19
00:00:55,601 --> 00:00:58,567
So, if there's anything
I can do to help...
20
00:00:58,567 --> 00:01:01,300
Can you lend me 40 bucks?
21
00:01:01,300 --> 00:01:04,033
Well, uh...
I've got 12.
22
00:01:07,667 --> 00:01:09,100
Whenever.
23
00:01:11,834 --> 00:01:14,133
You know, if we don't
get him neutered,
24
00:01:14,133 --> 00:01:17,367
he's gonna end up
spraying everywhere.
25
00:01:19,200 --> 00:01:20,667
I just--I think
it's disgusting
26
00:01:20,667 --> 00:01:23,901
the way that Stacy
is taking advantage of our David.
27
00:01:23,901 --> 00:01:25,133
You're right.
28
00:01:25,133 --> 00:01:27,100
If anybody's gonna take
advantage of our David,
29
00:01:27,100 --> 00:01:28,734
it'll be me.
30
00:01:28,734 --> 00:01:29,901
David, come over here.
31
00:01:29,901 --> 00:01:31,567
Yeah, Mrs. Conner?
32
00:01:31,567 --> 00:01:34,234
Uh, you can't hang
around here anymore.
33
00:01:34,234 --> 00:01:35,534
I can't?
No.
34
00:01:35,534 --> 00:01:36,901
We've got this painter
coming in
35
00:01:36,901 --> 00:01:37,934
to do this wall tomorrow.
36
00:01:37,934 --> 00:01:39,133
It's gonna be
way too crowded.
37
00:01:39,133 --> 00:01:40,801
And it's gonna
take that painter
38
00:01:40,801 --> 00:01:42,934
probably all day
to fix that wall,
39
00:01:42,934 --> 00:01:44,400
and then he'll probably
stretch it out
40
00:01:44,400 --> 00:01:48,300
so he can just stand there
and stare at Stacy.
41
00:01:50,501 --> 00:01:52,968
Hey, what if I painted
the wall for you?
42
00:01:59,033 --> 00:02:01,601
But I couldn't take
advantage of you like that, David.
43
00:02:01,601 --> 00:02:03,567
I've only got
$20 to work with.
44
00:02:03,567 --> 00:02:05,968
No, I could do a mural.
45
00:02:05,968 --> 00:02:07,968
I mean, it would be
a great opportunity for me.
46
00:02:07,968 --> 00:02:10,033
I would feel like
I was taking advantage of you.
47
00:02:10,033 --> 00:02:13,200
Well, I wouldn't want you
to feel bad, David.
48
00:02:13,200 --> 00:02:15,634
I'll tell you what.
I won't pay you anything.
49
00:02:15,634 --> 00:02:17,133
Okay.
50
00:02:17,133 --> 00:02:19,234
And bring your own paint.
51
00:02:20,767 --> 00:02:22,334
Could you help me
with my math?
52
00:02:23,767 --> 00:02:24,767
I'm not good at math.
53
00:02:24,767 --> 00:02:28,033
I don't care.
54
00:02:28,033 --> 00:02:30,701
Get out of here.
55
00:02:30,701 --> 00:02:32,334
Break's over, Stacy.
56
00:02:32,334 --> 00:02:34,801
Those dishes have been
on table three for an hour.
57
00:02:34,801 --> 00:02:36,334
[sighs]
58
00:02:36,334 --> 00:02:38,501
Could someone else
clean that table?
59
00:02:38,501 --> 00:02:40,767
I can't.
Why not?
60
00:02:40,767 --> 00:02:43,133
'Cause that's me
and Billy's table.
61
00:02:43,133 --> 00:02:45,033
It brings back
too many memories.
62
00:02:45,033 --> 00:02:48,033
I never saw the two
of you sitting there.
63
00:02:48,033 --> 00:02:49,334
Well, we didn't.
64
00:02:49,334 --> 00:02:51,367
Then how can you
call it "our table"?
65
00:02:51,367 --> 00:02:52,868
I mean, if you didn't
even eat dinner there,
66
00:02:52,868 --> 00:02:54,901
what else could you--
67
00:02:54,901 --> 00:02:58,667
Oh, my God.
You had sex on it?
68
00:02:58,667 --> 00:03:00,767
Is that a problem?
69
00:03:00,767 --> 00:03:02,501
No, it's no problem.
70
00:03:04,467 --> 00:03:06,834
I gotta go talk
to Roseanne.
71
00:03:06,834 --> 00:03:08,934
This isn't about you.
72
00:03:12,801 --> 00:03:14,901
Stacy had sex
on one of our tables.
73
00:03:14,901 --> 00:03:17,267
God, I hope they
left her a good tip.
74
00:03:17,267 --> 00:03:19,667
That's not funny.
I find it disgusting.
75
00:03:19,667 --> 00:03:20,934
I wanna fire her.
76
00:03:20,934 --> 00:03:22,367
Well, I wanna keep her
77
00:03:22,367 --> 00:03:25,367
and install
some security cameras.
78
00:03:25,367 --> 00:03:27,000
You think it's okay?
79
00:03:27,000 --> 00:03:29,234
God, don't be
such a hypocrite,
80
00:03:29,234 --> 00:03:31,868
after all the places
you've done it.
81
00:03:31,868 --> 00:03:34,200
I never did
something like that.
82
00:03:34,200 --> 00:03:36,834
Come on, Jackie,
I'm the one that had to tell you
83
00:03:36,834 --> 00:03:39,567
that you could do it
laying down.
84
00:03:40,968 --> 00:03:42,767
I am an adult now.
85
00:03:42,767 --> 00:03:44,067
My life has become
more stable.
86
00:03:44,067 --> 00:03:45,234
I have values.
87
00:03:45,234 --> 00:03:47,033
You're jealous.
88
00:03:47,033 --> 00:03:51,067
I am not jealous
of that slutty, trampy...
89
00:03:51,067 --> 00:03:52,234
mother of ours.
90
00:03:52,234 --> 00:03:54,901
I like Mom.
91
00:03:54,901 --> 00:03:57,868
I really can't
clean table three.
92
00:03:57,868 --> 00:03:59,968
Could someone else
please do it?
93
00:03:59,968 --> 00:04:01,534
Okay, I'll do it.
94
00:04:01,534 --> 00:04:03,968
Just do me a favor
and finish cleaning up this ice machine.
95
00:04:03,968 --> 00:04:07,367
I can't clean
that either.
96
00:04:54,367 --> 00:04:56,033
[laughing]
97
00:05:01,634 --> 00:05:02,767
How's the mural coming?
98
00:05:02,767 --> 00:05:03,901
Great.
99
00:05:03,901 --> 00:05:04,901
I just can't wait
to get to college
100
00:05:04,901 --> 00:05:05,901
and really study art.
101
00:05:05,901 --> 00:05:08,868
Who's Art?
Your new boyfriend?
102
00:05:08,868 --> 00:05:10,968
I'm real proud of you, David.
103
00:05:10,968 --> 00:05:13,968
You'll be the first
Conner man to go to college.
104
00:05:13,968 --> 00:05:16,801
Wait, you're not a Conner.
105
00:05:16,801 --> 00:05:17,834
You'll be the first
106
00:05:17,834 --> 00:05:20,834
man I know to go to college.
107
00:05:20,834 --> 00:05:23,400
See, Mark?
Some people value education.
108
00:05:23,400 --> 00:05:25,501
Yeah?
If those college boys are so smart,
109
00:05:25,501 --> 00:05:28,334
how come they're always
asking guys like me to fix their toilets?
110
00:05:30,501 --> 00:05:31,834
Leave him alone.
111
00:05:31,834 --> 00:05:32,901
Aren't you proud
of your brother?
112
00:05:32,901 --> 00:05:36,834
Yeah, of course.
113
00:05:36,834 --> 00:05:38,000
Dan, you know,
when you were younger
114
00:05:38,000 --> 00:05:39,300
did you ever think
about going to college?
115
00:05:39,300 --> 00:05:41,167
Oh, sure.
116
00:05:41,167 --> 00:05:45,000
When I was his age
it was the most important thing in the world to me.
117
00:05:45,000 --> 00:05:47,267
Then the the draft ended
and I didn't see the point.
118
00:05:51,868 --> 00:05:53,868
Hi, Mark.
Hey.
119
00:05:53,868 --> 00:05:55,534
Listen,
do you think I could
120
00:05:55,534 --> 00:05:56,868
watch you work on the pipes?
121
00:05:56,868 --> 00:06:00,033
I mean,
I love to watch guys fix things.
122
00:06:00,033 --> 00:06:01,701
You do, huh?
Mm-hmm.
123
00:06:01,701 --> 00:06:03,968
That's pretty mental.
124
00:06:05,534 --> 00:06:06,868
You're so funny.
125
00:06:06,868 --> 00:06:08,868
You want a coffee?
No.
126
00:06:08,868 --> 00:06:09,968
Okay.
127
00:06:14,033 --> 00:06:15,868
What the hell
are you doing? What?
128
00:06:15,868 --> 00:06:16,868
You're a married man.
129
00:06:16,868 --> 00:06:18,601
You shouldn't be
coming on to Stacy.
130
00:06:18,601 --> 00:06:20,033
I'm not coming on to her.
131
00:06:20,033 --> 00:06:21,067
She was coming on to me.
132
00:06:21,067 --> 00:06:22,067
Oh, come on,
133
00:06:22,067 --> 00:06:23,200
that doesn't
even make sense.
134
00:06:23,200 --> 00:06:24,734
I'm the one
who's available.
135
00:06:24,734 --> 00:06:26,734
Why would she want you
and not me?
136
00:06:26,734 --> 00:06:28,901
Hmm.
137
00:06:28,901 --> 00:06:30,501
I don't know,
Mrs. Size 7 Shoes.
138
00:06:36,901 --> 00:06:40,901
Leon?
Mm-hmm?
139
00:06:40,901 --> 00:06:43,367
Can I ask you
a question about women?
140
00:06:47,901 --> 00:06:51,400
Well, it's a bit like
asking Mrs. Conner about low-cal desserts,
141
00:06:51,400 --> 00:06:55,567
but go ahead.
142
00:06:55,567 --> 00:06:58,267
Uh, I was wondering--
Come here.
143
00:06:58,267 --> 00:07:01,100
I was wondering
what they like in a guy.
144
00:07:01,100 --> 00:07:05,601
You know,
since you like guys...
145
00:07:05,601 --> 00:07:08,100
This is offensive, isn't it?
146
00:07:08,100 --> 00:07:13,434
No, actually,
it's surprisingly interesting.
147
00:07:13,434 --> 00:07:16,434
Well, it's just--
148
00:07:16,434 --> 00:07:18,033
Is Mark better-looking than me?
149
00:07:18,033 --> 00:07:20,100
Come on, David.
150
00:07:20,100 --> 00:07:24,100
I mean, that's like
trying to compare apples and...
151
00:07:24,100 --> 00:07:26,434
what do they call those
dinky little tiny oranges?
152
00:07:26,434 --> 00:07:28,767
The ug--
Kumquats!
153
00:07:28,767 --> 00:07:32,133
Everyone loves kumquats.
154
00:07:32,133 --> 00:07:34,734
I think Stacy likes apples.
155
00:07:34,734 --> 00:07:36,133
Don't worry about it,
David.
156
00:07:36,133 --> 00:07:39,300
You know,
when I was a kid about your age,
157
00:07:39,300 --> 00:07:41,300
I wasn't very popular
with the girls either,
158
00:07:41,300 --> 00:07:43,734
and things worked out
great for me.
159
00:07:46,801 --> 00:07:48,334
But you're gay.
160
00:07:48,334 --> 00:07:51,400
Best of luck to you.
161
00:07:57,467 --> 00:08:01,100
Hey, Stacy,
I was wondering...
162
00:08:01,100 --> 00:08:04,167
could I paint you
in my mural?
163
00:08:04,167 --> 00:08:05,534
Wow! Really?
164
00:08:05,534 --> 00:08:06,868
Yeah.
165
00:08:06,868 --> 00:08:09,334
That's why I've been
kind of staring at you a lot,
166
00:08:09,334 --> 00:08:13,334
not because I'm some creep.
167
00:08:13,334 --> 00:08:15,000
Hey, Mark,
guess what?
168
00:08:15,000 --> 00:08:16,834
David's going to put me
in his picture.
169
00:08:16,834 --> 00:08:18,767
This is going to be
so much fun!
170
00:08:20,334 --> 00:08:22,667
Boy, Mark,
now I bet you wish you had used crayons
171
00:08:22,667 --> 00:08:26,000
for more than just
stabbing people, huh?
172
00:08:26,000 --> 00:08:30,167
Hey, Stace,
you still want to watch me fix that pipe?
173
00:08:30,167 --> 00:08:31,167
Sure.
174
00:08:31,167 --> 00:08:33,501
Great. Let's go.
175
00:08:33,501 --> 00:08:34,501
[giggles]
176
00:08:34,501 --> 00:08:36,501
Hey, hey!
What are you doing?
177
00:08:36,501 --> 00:08:38,033
Just proving a point.
178
00:08:38,033 --> 00:08:40,801
Why don't you get back
to your painting there, Fembrandt?
179
00:08:51,868 --> 00:08:55,467
Jackie? Honey?
You okay?
180
00:08:55,467 --> 00:08:58,033
Do we have to go
to the Lobo tonight?
181
00:08:58,033 --> 00:08:59,601
Can't we do
something different?
182
00:08:59,601 --> 00:09:00,734
Like what?
183
00:09:00,734 --> 00:09:02,367
I don't know, man!
184
00:09:02,367 --> 00:09:04,033
I just want to go!
185
00:09:04,033 --> 00:09:06,534
I just want to
go so far
186
00:09:06,534 --> 00:09:08,534
I got to come back
just to see where I came from.
187
00:09:08,534 --> 00:09:11,067
Are you with me?
188
00:09:11,067 --> 00:09:12,501
As long as we're back home
189
00:09:12,501 --> 00:09:13,901
to relieve
the baby-sitter by 9.
190
00:09:13,901 --> 00:09:15,567
Oh, yeah.
191
00:09:15,567 --> 00:09:16,734
You're right, Fred.
192
00:09:16,734 --> 00:09:18,834
I'm just being silly.
193
00:09:21,567 --> 00:09:25,734
Honey, pull the car over.
194
00:09:25,734 --> 00:09:26,734
Why?
195
00:09:26,734 --> 00:09:27,734
You getting carsick?
196
00:09:27,734 --> 00:09:30,567
No, I only want you to...
197
00:09:30,567 --> 00:09:34,734
you know, pull over,
198
00:09:34,734 --> 00:09:37,367
so we can...you know.
199
00:09:37,367 --> 00:09:39,801
Oh! What? In the car?
200
00:09:39,801 --> 00:09:40,801
You're crazy.
201
00:09:40,801 --> 00:09:42,400
Come on, Fred,
it will be fun.
202
00:09:42,400 --> 00:09:43,467
It will be
just like high school.
203
00:09:43,467 --> 00:09:45,033
I'll even let you
brag to your friends.
204
00:09:47,434 --> 00:09:49,100
Jackie, if you
wanted to have sex,
205
00:09:49,100 --> 00:09:52,067
you should have
thought about that before we left the house.
206
00:09:52,067 --> 00:09:54,167
I didn't want to
have it then.
207
00:09:54,167 --> 00:09:55,167
Fine.
208
00:09:55,167 --> 00:09:56,601
I'll turn the car around,
209
00:09:56,601 --> 00:09:57,934
we'll drive back
to our home
210
00:09:57,934 --> 00:09:59,267
and our comfortable bed,
211
00:09:59,267 --> 00:10:01,934
have the sex,
and then go to the bar.
212
00:10:01,934 --> 00:10:03,601
I don't want to have
the sex in the bed.
213
00:10:03,601 --> 00:10:05,100
There are six rooms
in that house.
214
00:10:05,100 --> 00:10:08,200
The only room
we have the sex in is the bedroom.
215
00:10:08,200 --> 00:10:11,100
Yeah, and the only room
we cook in is the kitchen.
216
00:10:11,100 --> 00:10:15,601
Sometimes we barbeque.
217
00:10:15,601 --> 00:10:17,434
I'm really sorry,
but I just don't get it.
218
00:10:17,434 --> 00:10:20,467
I don't see anything good
about having sex in a cramped car.
219
00:10:20,467 --> 00:10:23,133
It's not just the sex, Fred.
220
00:10:23,133 --> 00:10:26,133
Our whole lives are boring.
221
00:10:26,133 --> 00:10:27,934
You're boring!
222
00:10:27,934 --> 00:10:32,133
Why, because
I don't want to get an ashtray in my butt?
223
00:10:34,467 --> 00:10:37,133
Every single Thursday night
we drive to happy hour
224
00:10:37,133 --> 00:10:39,133
and every single time
you take Kenter to Raleigh
225
00:10:39,133 --> 00:10:40,467
and a right on Radford.
226
00:10:40,467 --> 00:10:42,701
You don't take Sycamore
because of the potholes!
227
00:10:42,701 --> 00:10:45,234
Okay, I'm sorry.
You're right.
228
00:10:48,968 --> 00:10:50,734
We'll take Sycamore.
229
00:10:52,501 --> 00:10:54,667
[thump]
230
00:10:54,667 --> 00:10:56,934
Woohoo!
That's livin'!
231
00:11:06,000 --> 00:11:07,934
[chattering]
232
00:11:09,667 --> 00:11:11,000
Hey, Dan,
where's Roseanne?
233
00:11:11,000 --> 00:11:13,501
Oh, she was feeling
a little nauseous
234
00:11:13,501 --> 00:11:16,000
so she filled her purse
with chicken wings and went on home.
235
00:11:16,000 --> 00:11:18,334
Oh. Great.
236
00:11:18,334 --> 00:11:19,834
I'm glad I came then.
237
00:11:19,834 --> 00:11:23,167
While you two play pool
I can sit at the bar and have a drink,
238
00:11:23,167 --> 00:11:24,501
because that's
what bars are for.
239
00:11:24,501 --> 00:11:28,200
Bars are for drinking
and kitchens are for cooking
240
00:11:28,200 --> 00:11:31,701
and cars are for driving.
241
00:11:31,701 --> 00:11:33,200
That's God's plan.
242
00:11:33,200 --> 00:11:34,634
You can either
stick with that or you can go to hell.
243
00:11:37,868 --> 00:11:40,300
Grouchy, party of one.
244
00:11:42,200 --> 00:11:45,033
We're kind of having
a few problems.
245
00:11:45,033 --> 00:11:46,367
Yep.
246
00:11:46,367 --> 00:11:47,367
Should have married yourself
247
00:11:47,367 --> 00:11:50,367
a quiet, easy-going
gal like I did.
248
00:11:50,367 --> 00:11:52,367
Driving over here,
all of the sudden,
249
00:11:52,367 --> 00:11:55,367
out of nowhere
she starts blaming me for her life.
250
00:11:55,367 --> 00:11:57,367
She says it's lousy
and predictable,
251
00:11:57,367 --> 00:11:59,100
and get this--
Boring.
252
00:11:59,100 --> 00:12:00,901
Ah, women.
253
00:12:00,901 --> 00:12:01,901
They just can't
say they're happy.
254
00:12:03,734 --> 00:12:05,067
It's got me worried, Dan.
255
00:12:05,067 --> 00:12:09,067
It all started
with this...thing.
256
00:12:09,067 --> 00:12:12,567
What kind of thing?
257
00:12:12,567 --> 00:12:14,367
This weird sex thing.
258
00:12:17,234 --> 00:12:18,334
Chicken wing?
259
00:12:21,734 --> 00:12:24,400
I don't even know
how to begin to talk about this.
260
00:12:24,400 --> 00:12:27,133
I mean, this woman
is the mother of my child.
261
00:12:27,133 --> 00:12:30,067
There's hot sauce.
262
00:12:30,067 --> 00:12:32,601
I am all for having
some fun in the bedroom,
263
00:12:32,601 --> 00:12:34,601
but what she's
talking about, it's--
264
00:12:34,601 --> 00:12:36,434
It's bizarre.
265
00:12:36,434 --> 00:12:38,367
Boy, these must come off
tiny chickens.
266
00:12:41,067 --> 00:12:43,167
Dan is this making you
uncomfortable?
267
00:12:43,167 --> 00:12:45,267
No, no.
268
00:12:45,267 --> 00:12:48,267
Speaking in front of a group
makes me uncomfortable.
269
00:12:48,267 --> 00:12:51,100
Listening to
your and Jackie's sex life makes me...
270
00:12:51,100 --> 00:12:53,367
wish I was speaking
in front of a group.
271
00:12:54,868 --> 00:12:55,868
Okay, forget it.
272
00:12:55,868 --> 00:12:58,601
No, I'm sorry.
273
00:12:58,601 --> 00:13:01,534
Okay, what did
she want you to do?
274
00:13:04,601 --> 00:13:08,300
She wanted us to have sex
275
00:13:08,300 --> 00:13:09,567
in the car.
276
00:13:15,133 --> 00:13:16,734
With how many people?
277
00:13:21,467 --> 00:13:23,167
Just me and her.
278
00:13:25,133 --> 00:13:28,467
She wanted to have sex
with her husband in the car?
279
00:13:28,467 --> 00:13:29,634
God, it's freaky.
280
00:13:29,634 --> 00:13:31,734
Someone like that
living right here in Lanford.
281
00:13:33,801 --> 00:13:34,968
You're making fun of me, Dan.
282
00:13:34,968 --> 00:13:38,501
No, it's just if your wife
is this unhappy,
283
00:13:38,501 --> 00:13:39,934
you got to do
something about it.
284
00:13:39,934 --> 00:13:42,167
Hey, I thought
our sex life was great!
285
00:13:42,167 --> 00:13:44,334
But apparently
she thinks we're in some kind of a rut.
286
00:13:44,334 --> 00:13:45,334
You are in a rut.
287
00:13:45,334 --> 00:13:46,501
We are not!
288
00:13:46,501 --> 00:13:47,501
Of course you are.
289
00:13:47,501 --> 00:13:48,667
That's why you're happy.
290
00:13:48,667 --> 00:13:50,167
Guys love being in a rut,
291
00:13:50,167 --> 00:13:52,000
but women think it's boring.
292
00:13:52,000 --> 00:13:55,667
The trick is to keep them
from getting too bored before they leave you.
293
00:13:55,667 --> 00:13:57,767
Then there goes
your nice, comfortable rut.
294
00:13:59,501 --> 00:14:02,868
But I don't want
to have sex in the car.
295
00:14:02,868 --> 00:14:07,167
Women like to try new things.
296
00:14:07,167 --> 00:14:12,200
If you love your wife,
you got to give a little.
297
00:14:12,200 --> 00:14:15,133
I suppose doing it in the car
is not going to kill me.
298
00:14:15,133 --> 00:14:17,467
Not if you put
your flashers on.
299
00:14:20,200 --> 00:14:22,033
Dan, do you ever...
300
00:14:22,033 --> 00:14:24,501
have sex with Roseanne
in your car?
301
00:14:24,501 --> 00:14:27,467
Hell, Fred,
I've had sex with Roseanne in your car.
302
00:14:30,367 --> 00:14:32,467
That's how much
I love my wife.
303
00:14:37,033 --> 00:14:39,033
So he just left
on his motorcycle.
304
00:14:39,033 --> 00:14:41,200
I don't know why
I always end up dating jerks
305
00:14:41,200 --> 00:14:43,367
who just care
about acting tough.
306
00:14:43,367 --> 00:14:46,400
I just wind up
getting burned.
307
00:14:46,400 --> 00:14:50,234
Well, maybe you should start
dating more sensitive guys,
308
00:14:50,234 --> 00:14:54,901
guys who aren't afraid
of showing their emotions.
309
00:14:56,901 --> 00:15:00,434
Oh, God.
I said I wouldn't do this.
310
00:15:00,434 --> 00:15:03,567
Yeah, you're right.
311
00:15:03,567 --> 00:15:07,234
But guys like that,
they just wind up feeling like my brother.
312
00:15:07,234 --> 00:15:09,334
Or my sister.
313
00:15:09,334 --> 00:15:12,567
Heh. Yeah.
314
00:15:12,567 --> 00:15:16,167
Boy, those wussy boys
just make me sick.
315
00:15:21,100 --> 00:15:22,767
Hey, listen,
I've got an extra ticket
316
00:15:22,767 --> 00:15:23,934
to the Dead concert tonight.
317
00:15:23,934 --> 00:15:25,767
The chick I was going to
go with had to cancel,
318
00:15:25,767 --> 00:15:27,267
because she had this, uh...
319
00:15:27,267 --> 00:15:28,868
she had a baby.
320
00:15:30,767 --> 00:15:31,767
Are you kidding?
321
00:15:31,767 --> 00:15:32,934
That would be great.
322
00:15:32,934 --> 00:15:34,767
But it gets really hot
in the stadium.
323
00:15:34,767 --> 00:15:36,200
What do you think
I should wear tonight?
324
00:15:36,200 --> 00:15:37,200
I don't care, man.
325
00:15:37,200 --> 00:15:38,934
Wear whatever you want.
326
00:15:38,934 --> 00:15:40,367
I'll be wearing
a tube top.
327
00:15:42,767 --> 00:15:44,434
Hey, Mark, guess what?
328
00:15:44,434 --> 00:15:46,467
David's going to take me
to the Dead show later.
329
00:15:46,467 --> 00:15:47,767
Oh, yeah?
330
00:15:47,767 --> 00:15:49,100
He must like you.
331
00:15:49,100 --> 00:15:50,367
Dr. Quinn is on tonight.
332
00:15:51,868 --> 00:15:52,934
Hey.
333
00:15:52,934 --> 00:15:53,934
Hey, Dan-aroo.
334
00:15:53,934 --> 00:15:55,467
What's the good word?
335
00:15:55,467 --> 00:15:58,300
Well, it's not "Dan-aroo."
336
00:15:58,300 --> 00:16:00,634
David, this came for you
in the mail.
337
00:16:00,634 --> 00:16:02,634
It's my SAT scores.
338
00:16:02,634 --> 00:16:04,067
How come
they're already open?
339
00:16:04,067 --> 00:16:05,467
Mrs. Conner made
an honest mistake.
340
00:16:05,467 --> 00:16:07,734
She forgot to reseal it.
341
00:16:07,734 --> 00:16:09,968
How did you do?
342
00:16:09,968 --> 00:16:11,133
He did great!
343
00:16:11,133 --> 00:16:13,133
Spelling, deciphering,
344
00:16:13,133 --> 00:16:15,801
he done whomped
all they threw at him.
345
00:16:15,801 --> 00:16:16,801
Well, not great,
346
00:16:16,801 --> 00:16:18,133
but, yeah,
I did pretty good.
347
00:16:18,133 --> 00:16:19,801
Don't be so modest.
348
00:16:19,801 --> 00:16:22,300
What's the capital
of Montana?
349
00:16:22,300 --> 00:16:23,634
Uh, Helena?
350
00:16:23,634 --> 00:16:27,334
It probably is!
351
00:16:27,334 --> 00:16:28,501
Hey, Dan, you know,
352
00:16:28,501 --> 00:16:30,167
I got that sink
practically done in there.
353
00:16:30,167 --> 00:16:31,334
I was able to save
a lot more
354
00:16:31,334 --> 00:16:33,334
of that copper tubing
than you thought.
355
00:16:33,334 --> 00:16:35,501
That's great.
Yeah.
356
00:16:35,501 --> 00:16:37,901
60 cents a foot.
You just made us 8 cents.
357
00:16:37,901 --> 00:16:40,767
See us later, egghead.
358
00:16:45,667 --> 00:16:46,667
Oh, come on.
359
00:16:46,667 --> 00:16:47,834
Don't let it bother you, Mark.
360
00:16:47,834 --> 00:16:50,167
He was just all excited
about my test scores.
361
00:16:50,167 --> 00:16:51,501
By tomorrow he'll remember
362
00:16:51,501 --> 00:16:53,767
that I mostly
just make him uncomfortable.
363
00:16:55,000 --> 00:16:56,167
Hey, Stacy, you know,
364
00:16:56,167 --> 00:16:57,634
if you want me
to help you with your car,
365
00:16:57,634 --> 00:16:59,701
tonight's the only night
I have free.
366
00:16:59,701 --> 00:17:01,701
But I'm going to
the Dead show tonight.
367
00:17:01,701 --> 00:17:04,200
Well, take it
or leave it.
368
00:17:04,200 --> 00:17:06,367
Oh, all right.
369
00:17:06,367 --> 00:17:08,367
I mean, I really need
to get my car fixed.
370
00:17:08,367 --> 00:17:09,567
Sorry, David.
371
00:17:09,567 --> 00:17:11,734
Hey, if you want
to pick up some beer,
372
00:17:11,734 --> 00:17:15,133
I'll hang out afterwards.
373
00:17:15,133 --> 00:17:16,634
Okay.
374
00:17:19,367 --> 00:17:20,868
What the hell are you doing?
375
00:17:20,868 --> 00:17:22,701
Why do you have to
ruin this for me?
376
00:17:22,701 --> 00:17:25,033
It's not my fault
that she likes me more than she likes you.
377
00:17:25,033 --> 00:17:26,534
Oh, don't give me that.
378
00:17:26,534 --> 00:17:28,367
You just can't stand it
that I was getting somewhere with her.
379
00:17:28,367 --> 00:17:31,567
You were just closing in
on a handshake.
380
00:17:31,567 --> 00:17:34,234
God, Mark,
how evil can you be?
381
00:17:34,234 --> 00:17:35,400
Fine, I'll ask you nicely.
382
00:17:35,400 --> 00:17:37,234
I really like Stacy.
383
00:17:37,234 --> 00:17:38,400
Okay?
384
00:17:38,400 --> 00:17:41,567
Now could you please,
please as a brother,
385
00:17:41,567 --> 00:17:43,667
just back off
and give me a chance?
386
00:17:43,667 --> 00:17:47,167
No.
387
00:17:47,167 --> 00:17:49,701
Why are you such a bastard?
388
00:17:49,701 --> 00:17:53,834
I'll tell you what,
I might leave her alone if you cry for me.
389
00:17:55,734 --> 00:17:56,667
Hey!
390
00:17:58,734 --> 00:18:01,734
Hey, what's going on?
391
00:18:01,734 --> 00:18:02,734
Nothing.
392
00:18:02,734 --> 00:18:04,000
No, come on, Mark!
393
00:18:04,000 --> 00:18:05,434
Why don't you tell her
what we're fighting about?
394
00:18:05,434 --> 00:18:06,434
It's nothing!
395
00:18:06,434 --> 00:18:08,534
What did you want?
396
00:18:10,968 --> 00:18:13,567
I came by to ask
if you wanted to go to a movie tonight.
397
00:18:13,567 --> 00:18:14,934
Hey, that's a good idea.
398
00:18:14,934 --> 00:18:16,434
Why don't you
go to a movie tonight with your wife?
399
00:18:16,434 --> 00:18:20,601
I can't.
I'm busy.
400
00:18:20,601 --> 00:18:21,767
Busy doing what?
401
00:18:21,767 --> 00:18:23,100
What?
I don't know.
402
00:18:23,100 --> 00:18:24,868
What, I have to tell you
what I'm doing every second?
403
00:18:24,868 --> 00:18:26,434
What is the big deal?
404
00:18:26,434 --> 00:18:27,734
Why are you
acting like this?
405
00:18:27,734 --> 00:18:29,601
It's not a big deal.
406
00:18:29,601 --> 00:18:31,100
I just have to fix a car.
407
00:18:31,100 --> 00:18:33,667
Okay.
Whose car?
408
00:18:33,667 --> 00:18:35,601
Whose? Uh...
409
00:18:35,601 --> 00:18:40,000
You know, it's, uh...
410
00:18:40,000 --> 00:18:43,267
What's going on, Mark?
411
00:18:43,267 --> 00:18:45,634
It's my car.
412
00:18:45,634 --> 00:18:46,968
Actually, it's a car
I'm thinking about buying.
413
00:18:46,968 --> 00:18:48,667
Mark said he'd come down
and take a look at it.
414
00:18:48,667 --> 00:18:51,133
Oh, well,
why didn't you just say so?
415
00:18:51,133 --> 00:18:52,801
Why did you have to
be so difficult?
416
00:18:52,801 --> 00:18:55,133
Sorry.
That's okay.
417
00:18:55,133 --> 00:18:56,968
I guess I'll see you
at home, then.
418
00:18:56,968 --> 00:18:58,067
Bye.
419
00:19:01,801 --> 00:19:04,801
Hey, look,
when it comes to my life,
420
00:19:04,801 --> 00:19:06,300
I don't need your help.
421
00:19:06,300 --> 00:19:08,133
No, I think you do.
422
00:19:08,133 --> 00:19:10,968
I can't believe
you are risking your marriage just to hurt me.
423
00:19:10,968 --> 00:19:12,667
Are you really
that jealous of me, Mark?
424
00:19:12,667 --> 00:19:13,734
I ain't jealous of nobody,
425
00:19:13,734 --> 00:19:14,734
especially you.
426
00:19:14,734 --> 00:19:16,334
Oh, come on, let's face it.
427
00:19:16,334 --> 00:19:19,133
Mr. Conner
is proud of me for something you could never do.
428
00:19:19,133 --> 00:19:20,167
Oh, what?
429
00:19:20,167 --> 00:19:22,601
Walk under a table
without ducking?
430
00:19:24,834 --> 00:19:25,834
Fine.
431
00:19:25,834 --> 00:19:27,701
Put me down,
take a girl away from me,
432
00:19:27,701 --> 00:19:30,167
whatever it takes
to make you feel superior.
433
00:19:30,167 --> 00:19:32,501
Just remember one thing, Mark,
besides Becky,
434
00:19:32,501 --> 00:19:35,334
I'm the only person around here
that gives a crap about you.
435
00:19:41,501 --> 00:19:43,167
Hey.
436
00:19:43,167 --> 00:19:44,501
Hey.
437
00:19:44,501 --> 00:19:46,801
So what time
are you going to come by and fix my car?
438
00:19:49,701 --> 00:19:52,033
I can't do it.
439
00:19:52,033 --> 00:19:53,968
You should go
to the concert.
440
00:20:00,367 --> 00:20:03,300
Closed-Captioned By
J.R. Media Services, Inc. Burbank, CA
441
00:20:07,701 --> 00:20:09,367
[Jackie]
I still don't see
442
00:20:09,367 --> 00:20:11,868
why you couldn't
just get your wallet in the morning.
443
00:20:11,868 --> 00:20:13,133
Actually, honey...
444
00:20:16,200 --> 00:20:17,534
that's not why
I brought you here.
445
00:20:17,534 --> 00:20:19,234
Oh, God.
446
00:20:19,234 --> 00:20:20,400
Oh, Fred!
447
00:20:20,400 --> 00:20:23,267
Oh, God,
let's do it someplace bad.
448
00:20:23,267 --> 00:20:26,400
Real bad!
449
00:20:26,400 --> 00:20:28,400
Tables are bad.
450
00:20:28,400 --> 00:20:30,234
Don't I know it.
451
00:20:30,234 --> 00:20:33,067
I can't wait to get up
on top of this table and--
452
00:20:33,067 --> 00:20:34,400
It's not too sturdy.
453
00:20:34,400 --> 00:20:35,567
How about the counter?
454
00:20:35,567 --> 00:20:38,901
Oh, the count--
Oh, the counter is better!
455
00:20:38,901 --> 00:20:40,834
You get served quicker there.
456
00:20:41,901 --> 00:20:42,901
Do you need
to see a menu
457
00:20:42,901 --> 00:20:44,501
or do you already know
what you want?
458
00:20:49,234 --> 00:20:51,234
What? What?
459
00:20:51,234 --> 00:20:53,434
It's kind of dirty.
460
00:20:53,434 --> 00:20:56,767
That's okay,
though, because sex is supposed to be dirty.
461
00:20:56,767 --> 00:20:58,701
[Both giggling]
462
00:21:03,434 --> 00:21:06,100
You sure there's not,
like, a cot in here or something?
463
00:21:06,100 --> 00:21:08,601
Fred, I know you're
kind of tense about this,
464
00:21:08,601 --> 00:21:09,934
but you just have to
try and relax
465
00:21:09,934 --> 00:21:12,601
because it's supposed
to be a fantasy!
466
00:21:12,601 --> 00:21:15,934
You tell me what
you want to do.
467
00:21:15,934 --> 00:21:17,100
You don't want to know
my fantasy.
468
00:21:17,100 --> 00:21:18,601
Fred, rea--
I'm your wife.
469
00:21:18,601 --> 00:21:20,400
We really should talk
about this stuff.
470
00:21:20,400 --> 00:21:22,067
You're just going
to get mad.
471
00:21:22,067 --> 00:21:23,434
No, I won't, Fred.
I swear to you.
472
00:21:23,434 --> 00:21:25,400
Whatever it is,
I'm not going to judge you.
473
00:21:25,400 --> 00:21:27,801
Okay.
474
00:21:27,801 --> 00:21:30,634
All my fantasies
are you and me...
475
00:21:30,634 --> 00:21:31,634
at home in bed.
476
00:21:31,634 --> 00:21:33,968
Really?
477
00:21:33,968 --> 00:21:35,734
Doing what?
478
00:21:40,133 --> 00:21:41,367
What we always do.
479
00:21:43,300 --> 00:21:45,601
Oh.
480
00:21:45,601 --> 00:21:51,467
I'm sorry, Jackie,
but that's what I like.
481
00:21:51,467 --> 00:21:54,133
Let's go home, Fred.
482
00:21:54,133 --> 00:21:55,133
You don't mind, do you?
483
00:21:55,133 --> 00:21:56,300
No, I don't.
No, not at all.
484
00:21:56,300 --> 00:22:00,667
You tried, and that's
the important thing.
485
00:22:00,667 --> 00:22:01,968
Thanks.
486
00:22:24,834 --> 00:22:28,334
Oh, man, I thought
they'd never leave.
487
00:22:28,334 --> 00:22:31,234
You know, baby,
I really missed you since we broke up.
488
00:22:32,701 --> 00:22:34,968
Hey, let's go do it
on our table.
489
00:22:36,701 --> 00:22:38,968
You know, I've got
a better idea.
490
00:22:45,868 --> 00:22:49,300
Have you seen
the new ice machine?
491
00:22:49,350 --> 00:22:53,900
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