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1
00:00:01,367 --> 00:00:03,167
** [harmonica]
2
00:00:07,801 --> 00:00:08,934
Hi.
Hey.
3
00:00:08,934 --> 00:00:11,000
Fred's taking Andy
to the ballgame.
4
00:00:11,000 --> 00:00:13,267
I wanted you to see how cute
he looked before they left.
5
00:00:13,267 --> 00:00:15,167
Oh, you look
real cute, Fred.
6
00:00:15,167 --> 00:00:16,767
No!
7
00:00:16,767 --> 00:00:18,734
Look at Andy's little outfit.
8
00:00:18,734 --> 00:00:20,400
Oh, he's so sweet.
9
00:00:20,400 --> 00:00:21,400
Sweet?
10
00:00:21,400 --> 00:00:22,434
You hear that, Jackie?
11
00:00:22,434 --> 00:00:23,634
You're dressing our
boy to look sweet.
12
00:00:25,167 --> 00:00:27,467
Oh, did I say sweet?
I meant dainty.
13
00:00:28,934 --> 00:00:31,300
You know, if we want him
to grow up to be a man,
14
00:00:31,300 --> 00:00:32,667
we should dress him
like a man.
15
00:00:32,667 --> 00:00:35,801
Why? I think the burping and
drooling should cover that.
16
00:00:37,534 --> 00:00:39,400
I'm the one who dresses
him every morning.
17
00:00:39,400 --> 00:00:40,834
I'm gonna choose
what he wears.
18
00:00:40,834 --> 00:00:42,801
I am this kid's father,
and I should have
19
00:00:42,801 --> 00:00:45,167
as much say in it
as his mother does.
20
00:00:45,167 --> 00:00:47,534
Well, Fred, if you ever
pass a kidney stone,
21
00:00:47,534 --> 00:00:48,667
we'll let you
dress that up.
22
00:00:50,801 --> 00:00:52,100
Andy, we gotta go.
23
00:00:52,100 --> 00:00:54,834
I can feel these uterine
walls closing in on us.
24
00:00:57,067 --> 00:01:01,501
So, tomorrow, get the results
of the second amnio test.
25
00:01:01,501 --> 00:01:04,167
Thinking good thoughts?
26
00:01:04,167 --> 00:01:06,267
Yeah, I had
one of them, once.
27
00:01:06,267 --> 00:01:07,701
You and Dan doing okay?
28
00:01:07,701 --> 00:01:09,567
No, he's being
a total jerk.
29
00:01:09,567 --> 00:01:10,701
Really?
30
00:01:10,701 --> 00:01:13,200
Yeah, alls he thinks about
is himself, you know?
31
00:01:13,200 --> 00:01:14,901
He's worried that
a sick baby might be
32
00:01:14,901 --> 00:01:16,334
an inconvenience to him,
33
00:01:16,334 --> 00:01:18,534
so he's trying to hint around
that I should have an abortion.
34
00:01:18,534 --> 00:01:21,400
Oh, I'm sure he knows
it's your decision.
35
00:01:21,400 --> 00:01:23,300
I mean, he must respect
your right to choose.
36
00:01:23,300 --> 00:01:25,334
Yeah, well, as long as
I choose to agree with him.
37
00:01:25,334 --> 00:01:28,334
[Dan]
Hey, we're out of shampoo.
38
00:01:28,334 --> 00:01:31,000
Well, since when did you
become too good for Tide?
39
00:01:34,267 --> 00:01:36,434
Forget I asked.
40
00:01:36,434 --> 00:01:38,501
When are you gonna
go paint that crib?
41
00:01:38,501 --> 00:01:40,033
I want to get started
on the nursery.
42
00:01:44,667 --> 00:01:46,968
Fine, you want me
to paint the crib?
43
00:01:46,968 --> 00:01:49,000
I'll paint the crib.
What the hell is your--
44
00:01:49,000 --> 00:01:51,434
Hey, D.J.,
what do you say?
45
00:01:51,434 --> 00:01:54,000
Mr. Brand New Turtleneck!
46
00:01:54,000 --> 00:01:55,534
What are you guys
yelling about?
47
00:01:55,534 --> 00:01:56,534
We're not yelling.
48
00:01:56,534 --> 00:01:58,100
Yes, we're just practicing
49
00:01:58,100 --> 00:02:00,267
for when we're old
and we can't hear.
50
00:02:01,868 --> 00:02:03,501
D.J., why don't
you get out of here?
51
00:02:03,501 --> 00:02:05,133
I haven't had
any breakfast.
52
00:02:05,133 --> 00:02:07,067
Okay, here.
Take this. Go.
53
00:02:11,601 --> 00:02:12,601
He doesn't know?
54
00:02:12,601 --> 00:02:14,000
No, he's too young.
55
00:02:14,000 --> 00:02:16,667
And he's not gonna find
out, right, Roseanne?
56
00:02:16,667 --> 00:02:18,667
Well, I don't know, Dan,
I think we should tell him.
57
00:02:18,667 --> 00:02:20,667
And then we should go out and
tell the whole neighborhood.
58
00:02:20,667 --> 00:02:23,200
How else are they all gonna
vote on what I should do?
59
00:02:23,200 --> 00:02:24,434
I mean it, Roseanne.
60
00:02:24,434 --> 00:02:25,667
Until we decide on this,
61
00:02:25,667 --> 00:02:27,334
I don't think
we should worry the boy.
62
00:02:29,701 --> 00:02:30,868
You're right, you know?
63
00:02:30,868 --> 00:02:32,367
He was pushing you.
64
00:02:32,367 --> 00:02:33,734
I thought Dan was
better then that.
65
00:02:33,734 --> 00:02:35,534
Why?
He's a man.
66
00:02:35,534 --> 00:02:38,434
You know, this is
the only area in the world that they can't control,
67
00:02:38,434 --> 00:02:40,701
and it drives them crazy,
'cause it doesn't come with a remote.
68
00:02:41,934 --> 00:02:43,534
Hey, do you know that
we're out of shampoo?
69
00:02:48,634 --> 00:02:50,601
Yeah, well,
I'll wear a hat.
70
00:02:55,767 --> 00:02:58,701
** [blues rock]
71
00:03:37,434 --> 00:03:39,701
[laughing]
72
00:03:59,601 --> 00:04:03,501
[video game]
73
00:04:11,334 --> 00:04:12,601
[laughs]
74
00:04:19,167 --> 00:04:21,534
[video game]
75
00:04:39,767 --> 00:04:40,767
Son?
76
00:04:40,767 --> 00:04:42,000
Yeah?
77
00:04:45,968 --> 00:04:48,434
I don't think I properly
explained camping to you.
78
00:04:53,501 --> 00:04:54,901
At least it's quiet in here.
79
00:04:54,901 --> 00:04:56,234
What do you mean?
80
00:04:56,234 --> 00:04:57,834
You and Mom are
always yelling.
81
00:04:59,467 --> 00:05:02,968
Well, son, that's
just what we do.
82
00:05:02,968 --> 00:05:05,133
We're not readers.
83
00:05:06,901 --> 00:05:08,801
I know it's different
this time.
84
00:05:12,801 --> 00:05:14,000
So what are you
fighting about?
85
00:05:15,734 --> 00:05:17,234
Well, I guess I should
probably tell you.
86
00:05:17,234 --> 00:05:18,234
It's--
87
00:05:18,234 --> 00:05:20,968
It's about your
Christmas gift.
88
00:05:20,968 --> 00:05:23,334
Really?
Yeah.
89
00:05:23,334 --> 00:05:25,701
See, I think you're
old enough to handle that dirt bike you wanted,
90
00:05:25,701 --> 00:05:27,067
but your mom's
thinking clothes.
91
00:05:28,734 --> 00:05:32,701
So that's all
the fighting's been about?
92
00:05:32,701 --> 00:05:34,334
Hey.
93
00:05:34,334 --> 00:05:37,601
Everything's gonna be
fine, I promise.
94
00:05:37,601 --> 00:05:39,534
All right.
Huh?
95
00:05:39,534 --> 00:05:40,701
Dan?
96
00:05:40,701 --> 00:05:42,400
Dan, I would like
to talk with you alone.
97
00:05:42,400 --> 00:05:43,634
D.J., get out of here.
98
00:05:45,701 --> 00:05:47,367
I don't have to do
what you tell me.
99
00:05:47,367 --> 00:05:48,300
You're not my parent.
100
00:05:50,534 --> 00:05:52,167
One...
101
00:05:52,167 --> 00:05:54,167
Two...
102
00:05:54,167 --> 00:05:55,434
Three.
103
00:06:07,467 --> 00:06:10,934
Four.
104
00:06:10,934 --> 00:06:12,067
Five.
105
00:06:12,067 --> 00:06:14,501
Six.
106
00:06:14,501 --> 00:06:15,934
Dan?
107
00:06:15,934 --> 00:06:17,100
Go.
108
00:06:17,100 --> 00:06:18,033
Okay.
109
00:06:19,934 --> 00:06:23,033
You are lucky I didn't
make it all the way to seven, young man!
110
00:06:26,667 --> 00:06:28,400
I can't believe you're
treating Roseanne this way.
111
00:06:28,400 --> 00:06:30,767
Jackie, it's none
of your business.
112
00:06:30,767 --> 00:06:32,667
It is my business.
She's my sister.
113
00:06:32,667 --> 00:06:35,767
And you are trying to push her
to do something that she might not want to do.
114
00:06:35,767 --> 00:06:37,701
I'm not pushing her.
This is her decision.
115
00:06:37,701 --> 00:06:39,167
Oh, no, no, you don't
really mean that.
116
00:06:39,167 --> 00:06:40,534
Yes, I do.
117
00:06:40,534 --> 00:06:42,567
I don't agree with it,
but I accept it.
118
00:06:42,567 --> 00:06:44,200
I'm not trying
to tell her what to do.
119
00:06:44,200 --> 00:06:45,834
Well, no, not straight out,
you're not.
120
00:06:45,834 --> 00:06:47,334
You just hint and imply
121
00:06:47,334 --> 00:06:49,200
and, uh--
122
00:06:49,200 --> 00:06:50,634
you know, hint.
123
00:06:50,634 --> 00:06:51,968
No, I don't.
124
00:06:51,968 --> 00:06:53,400
Really?
125
00:06:53,400 --> 00:06:54,901
Shouldn't we wait to paint
the crib, Roseanne,
126
00:06:54,901 --> 00:06:56,300
until...you know.
127
00:06:58,567 --> 00:07:01,000
Why don't you just tie her
to the examining table
128
00:07:01,000 --> 00:07:02,868
and tell the doctor
what you want done?
129
00:07:02,868 --> 00:07:04,767
Stop it.
130
00:07:06,067 --> 00:07:08,434
Who do you think you are?
131
00:07:08,434 --> 00:07:10,501
I said that because I thought
132
00:07:10,501 --> 00:07:12,934
if we got the news tomorrow
and it was bad,
133
00:07:12,934 --> 00:07:14,467
and Roseanne--not me!--
but Roseanne
134
00:07:14,467 --> 00:07:16,200
decided to have
an abortion,
135
00:07:16,200 --> 00:07:19,067
it might be hard for her
to come home to a freshly-painted baby bed.
136
00:07:22,868 --> 00:07:24,367
I'm not trying
to influence her.
137
00:07:24,367 --> 00:07:25,901
I'm trying to help
her through this.
138
00:07:28,200 --> 00:07:31,033
Every time I open my mouth,
she shuts me out.
139
00:07:31,033 --> 00:07:33,267
Okay, I'm sorry.
140
00:07:33,267 --> 00:07:34,901
You know, you're not--
you're not gonna tell me
141
00:07:34,901 --> 00:07:37,267
that Roseanne is
the only person you're thinking of, here,
142
00:07:37,267 --> 00:07:39,033
because you know what
you want her to do.
143
00:07:39,033 --> 00:07:40,534
Yeah, if it
was up to me,
144
00:07:40,534 --> 00:07:42,734
and there was something
really wrong with the baby,
145
00:07:42,734 --> 00:07:44,300
I'd want her
to have an abortion.
146
00:07:44,300 --> 00:07:47,367
Have you thought about
how hard that might be for Roseanne?
147
00:07:47,367 --> 00:07:49,934
Do you realize
how selfish that is?
148
00:07:49,934 --> 00:07:52,200
Is that what you think?
149
00:07:52,200 --> 00:07:53,300
[sighs]
150
00:07:53,300 --> 00:07:54,801
Why don't you just
leave me alone, Jackie?
151
00:07:58,701 --> 00:08:01,601
I'm not trying
to be selfish.
152
00:08:02,801 --> 00:08:04,567
I mean, what if
they baby's born wrong?
153
00:08:04,567 --> 00:08:07,501
What if it's born without
a brain, or something?
154
00:08:10,734 --> 00:08:11,968
[sniffs]
155
00:08:11,968 --> 00:08:14,133
What would that do
to the family, huh?
156
00:08:14,133 --> 00:08:15,434
What would that
do to Roseanne?
157
00:08:15,434 --> 00:08:17,868
Oh, Dan.
158
00:08:17,868 --> 00:08:20,434
I'm afraid its gonna
wreck our marriage.
159
00:08:20,434 --> 00:08:22,767
I mean, look how well
we've handled this stress.
160
00:08:24,501 --> 00:08:26,801
I'm sorry, I had no idea.
161
00:08:26,801 --> 00:08:28,701
That's all right.
Just...
162
00:08:28,701 --> 00:08:29,968
I'd like to be
alone right now.
163
00:08:29,968 --> 00:08:31,801
Okay.
164
00:08:38,634 --> 00:08:40,667
Jackie, that's
the opposite of alone.
165
00:08:48,033 --> 00:08:49,534
I don't like that, either.
166
00:08:52,934 --> 00:08:53,968
No.
167
00:09:09,567 --> 00:09:11,167
I'll get this
back to you.
168
00:09:25,934 --> 00:09:27,033
Hey, Dan!
169
00:09:27,033 --> 00:09:28,133
Hey, Fred!
Been drinking?
170
00:09:28,133 --> 00:09:29,167
Yeah.
171
00:09:29,167 --> 00:09:30,934
Okay, then we're
playing for money.
172
00:09:30,934 --> 00:09:33,033
So how you doing?
173
00:09:33,033 --> 00:09:35,667
I called you because I figured
you probably had your fill
174
00:09:35,667 --> 00:09:37,467
of fighting with Roseanne.
175
00:09:37,467 --> 00:09:40,434
Oh, you're late, Fred.
You should have called in 1975.
176
00:09:40,434 --> 00:09:41,901
I heard she pretty much
shut you out.
177
00:09:41,901 --> 00:09:43,801
Nah, she still talks to me.
178
00:09:43,801 --> 00:09:46,234
Every now and again,
she'll point at me and go,
179
00:09:46,234 --> 00:09:48,434
[demonic voice]
"You."
180
00:09:50,067 --> 00:09:52,834
I'm really sorry, man.
Oh, well, thanks.
181
00:09:52,834 --> 00:09:54,300
Listen, I know
it's none of my business,
182
00:09:54,300 --> 00:09:56,200
but would you mind if
I said something to you
183
00:09:56,200 --> 00:09:57,200
about all this?
184
00:09:57,200 --> 00:09:58,534
Yeah, sure.
185
00:09:58,534 --> 00:10:02,267
As long as you keep it short
and you don't try to hug me.
186
00:10:02,267 --> 00:10:03,801
Oh, well...
187
00:10:03,801 --> 00:10:05,033
Now there's no point.
188
00:10:07,200 --> 00:10:09,834
Look, I just don't think
you'd be a terrible person
189
00:10:09,834 --> 00:10:11,667
if you demanded some control
190
00:10:11,667 --> 00:10:13,701
over what Roseanne's gonna do.
191
00:10:13,701 --> 00:10:15,734
"Roseanne" and "demand."
192
00:10:15,734 --> 00:10:18,300
Two words that go
together like...
193
00:10:18,300 --> 00:10:20,200
"waffle iron" and "forehead."
194
00:10:22,467 --> 00:10:25,334
Look, having a kid...
It's half yours.
195
00:10:25,334 --> 00:10:27,167
This is a 50/50 proposition.
196
00:10:27,167 --> 00:10:29,400
Yeah, when it
finally comes out.
197
00:10:29,400 --> 00:10:31,400
You gotta admit, Fred,
this is different.
198
00:10:31,400 --> 00:10:32,734
Is it?
199
00:10:32,734 --> 00:10:34,567
I mean, Roseanne and I always
make the big decisions
200
00:10:34,567 --> 00:10:36,000
about the kids together.
201
00:10:36,000 --> 00:10:39,167
Sometimes she gets her way,
sometimes I get my way.
202
00:10:39,167 --> 00:10:40,501
Oh, okay.
Forget it.
203
00:10:40,501 --> 00:10:41,767
No, I mean it.
204
00:10:41,767 --> 00:10:43,767
It's like the time I kicked
David out of the house.
205
00:10:43,767 --> 00:10:45,667
She didn't like it,
but I got my way.
206
00:10:45,667 --> 00:10:48,901
Yeah, but then you let
David move right back in again, didn't you?
207
00:10:48,901 --> 00:10:50,701
Then she got her way.
208
00:10:50,701 --> 00:10:53,000
You see? 50/50.
209
00:10:53,000 --> 00:10:54,968
Hey, Dan, I'm not
saying it's your fault.
210
00:10:54,968 --> 00:10:56,834
You know, Jackie's
the same way.
211
00:10:56,834 --> 00:10:59,267
They have the kids,
so they figure that they own them.
212
00:10:59,267 --> 00:11:01,234
Well, maybe that's the way
it is at your house, Fred,
213
00:11:01,234 --> 00:11:02,968
but me and Roseanne are okay.
214
00:11:02,968 --> 00:11:04,400
Hey, Dan, you're
forgetting something.
215
00:11:04,400 --> 00:11:05,901
I've been to your house.
216
00:11:05,901 --> 00:11:07,567
I've seen the dents
in the ceiling
217
00:11:07,567 --> 00:11:09,234
from every time
she says jump.
218
00:11:11,267 --> 00:11:12,567
Hey, pal,
219
00:11:12,567 --> 00:11:15,467
at least I don't let
my wife dress my son up
220
00:11:15,467 --> 00:11:17,100
like a girl.
221
00:11:19,667 --> 00:11:21,834
I'm not saying Jackie
doesn't try to push me around.
222
00:11:21,834 --> 00:11:23,501
But at least I still
put up a fight.
223
00:11:23,501 --> 00:11:26,234
Hey, don't tell me
I don't fight.
224
00:11:26,234 --> 00:11:28,834
I fight plenty, and I'm
not shadowboxing like you.
225
00:11:28,834 --> 00:11:32,100
I'm hitting the heavy bag.
226
00:11:32,100 --> 00:11:34,000
And you're way
behind on points.
227
00:11:34,000 --> 00:11:36,934
Yeah, I don't need this.
228
00:11:36,934 --> 00:11:40,901
Lucky I don't get Roseanne
over here to kick your butt.
229
00:11:52,434 --> 00:11:53,634
Mom, I'm hungry.
230
00:11:55,167 --> 00:11:58,334
Yeah, well, I did kind of
cheat you on breakfast,
231
00:11:58,334 --> 00:12:00,734
so, how 'bout I'll make
you a great snack?
232
00:12:00,734 --> 00:12:02,467
Okay.
233
00:12:02,467 --> 00:12:04,601
Got your message.
What's up?
234
00:12:04,601 --> 00:12:05,934
D.J., get out of here.
235
00:12:07,534 --> 00:12:08,767
Where's my snack?
236
00:12:10,200 --> 00:12:12,033
Here you go.
Go!
237
00:12:16,667 --> 00:12:18,567
Are you all right?
Yeah, I'm fine.
238
00:12:18,567 --> 00:12:21,367
I was just wondering if you
could get Leon to take your shift tomorrow morning.
239
00:12:21,367 --> 00:12:22,767
Probably, why?
240
00:12:22,767 --> 00:12:24,968
'Cause I want you to go to
the doctors with me and Dan.
241
00:12:24,968 --> 00:12:26,200
No, I--
242
00:12:26,200 --> 00:12:27,601
I really think it's
something that you two
243
00:12:27,601 --> 00:12:28,601
ought to do alone, together.
244
00:12:28,601 --> 00:12:29,934
Come on, Jackie.
245
00:12:29,934 --> 00:12:31,801
I might have a really hard
decision to make tomorrow,
246
00:12:31,801 --> 00:12:33,901
and I want some support
from somebody that gets it.
247
00:12:33,901 --> 00:12:36,334
Dan'll support you.
That's what he's there for.
248
00:12:36,334 --> 00:12:39,467
No, he's there to push
his opinion on me,
249
00:12:39,467 --> 00:12:41,033
and I do not need
to get bad news
250
00:12:41,033 --> 00:12:42,968
and look over at that face
and know what it's thinking.
251
00:12:42,968 --> 00:12:44,767
He's not gonna push
his ideas on you.
252
00:12:44,767 --> 00:12:46,934
Have you really sat down
and talked to Dan about this?
253
00:12:46,934 --> 00:12:48,467
Why would I do that?
254
00:12:50,133 --> 00:12:52,634
What are you, a man, now?
Did you grow a kickstand?
255
00:12:55,968 --> 00:12:58,434
I...talked to Dan.
256
00:12:58,434 --> 00:12:59,801
You talked to Dan about this?
Yes.
257
00:12:59,801 --> 00:13:02,434
Yes, and I thought that
he made some very good points.
258
00:13:02,434 --> 00:13:05,300
He's worried about what
a sick baby might do to you.
259
00:13:05,300 --> 00:13:07,701
Roseanne, he's thinking
about the whole family.
260
00:13:07,701 --> 00:13:09,167
Oh, so you're on
his side, now.
261
00:13:09,167 --> 00:13:11,467
[stammers]
No, it's still your decision.
262
00:13:11,467 --> 00:13:12,968
He just want to be heard.
263
00:13:12,968 --> 00:13:14,100
I heard him!
264
00:13:14,100 --> 00:13:15,501
He loves you, Roseanne!
265
00:13:15,501 --> 00:13:17,334
So you think I should
do what he says, right?
266
00:13:17,334 --> 00:13:19,167
No one is trying
to control you.
267
00:13:19,167 --> 00:13:21,934
Yes, they are, Jackie.
You just don't get it.
268
00:13:21,934 --> 00:13:24,434
This is not Dan's decision
and it is not yours.
269
00:13:24,434 --> 00:13:27,334
I have to make it,
and I have to live with it.
270
00:13:27,334 --> 00:13:28,934
You're not listening to me.
271
00:13:28,934 --> 00:13:30,200
Get out.
272
00:13:30,200 --> 00:13:31,667
Roseanne!
273
00:13:31,667 --> 00:13:33,868
No, I'm serious.
Get the hell out of here and leave me alone.
274
00:13:45,701 --> 00:13:46,868
You okay?
275
00:13:46,868 --> 00:13:49,667
No, I lost my tiara.
276
00:13:53,334 --> 00:13:56,367
What were you and
Aunt Jackie fighting about?
277
00:13:56,367 --> 00:13:59,300
Which one of us
is the prettiest.
278
00:13:59,300 --> 00:14:00,634
Whose side are you on?
279
00:14:03,868 --> 00:14:05,100
Everything's fine, D.J.
280
00:14:06,601 --> 00:14:07,534
Are you sick?
281
00:14:09,033 --> 00:14:10,300
What are you
asking me that for?
282
00:14:10,300 --> 00:14:13,100
'Cause everybody's
fighting and whispering.
283
00:14:13,100 --> 00:14:14,801
Like they were at
Ralph's house last year,
284
00:14:14,801 --> 00:14:16,868
when his mom was sick.
285
00:14:16,868 --> 00:14:19,033
No, I'm not sick.
286
00:14:19,033 --> 00:14:20,901
Then what's going on here?
287
00:14:20,901 --> 00:14:23,801
I mean, you can't still
be arguing about my Christmas present
288
00:14:23,801 --> 00:14:25,501
like Dad said.
289
00:14:26,901 --> 00:14:28,968
Well, I don't agree
with your father, D.J.
290
00:14:28,968 --> 00:14:30,234
I don't think
it's right to buy
291
00:14:30,234 --> 00:14:32,434
everyone a present
except you.
292
00:14:35,200 --> 00:14:37,334
Well, when Ralph's mom
needed an operation,
293
00:14:37,334 --> 00:14:38,901
they lied to him, too.
294
00:14:38,901 --> 00:14:40,834
Come here.
295
00:14:53,534 --> 00:14:56,033
Okay, I'm gonna tell
you the truth
296
00:14:56,033 --> 00:14:58,200
because you're not
a little kid anymore.
297
00:14:58,200 --> 00:15:01,868
I'm okay, but, um...
298
00:15:01,868 --> 00:15:06,200
There's a chance that
something's wrong with the baby.
299
00:15:06,200 --> 00:15:08,000
Oh.
300
00:15:08,000 --> 00:15:12,434
Yeah, so, I have to, uh--
301
00:15:12,434 --> 00:15:15,534
make a decision whether
to have it or not.
302
00:15:15,534 --> 00:15:18,367
You mean you might
have an abortion?
303
00:15:18,367 --> 00:15:21,501
Uh, yeah.
Yeah, that.
304
00:15:21,501 --> 00:15:22,868
Maybe.
I don't know.
305
00:15:22,868 --> 00:15:26,701
It's just a very, very
complicated decision, D.J.
306
00:15:26,701 --> 00:15:27,901
Why?
307
00:15:27,901 --> 00:15:31,567
Because I have wanted to
have a baby for a long time.
308
00:15:31,567 --> 00:15:34,868
Well, if you decide
not to have a baby,
309
00:15:34,868 --> 00:15:36,567
when you come back
from the hospital,
310
00:15:36,567 --> 00:15:38,033
we can take care of you.
311
00:15:38,033 --> 00:15:41,067
Hey, I know you're gonna
be a man someday,
312
00:15:41,067 --> 00:15:42,934
but, see,
you cannot do this.
313
00:15:42,934 --> 00:15:43,934
Do what?
314
00:15:43,934 --> 00:15:46,100
No man has any right
to tell any woman
315
00:15:46,100 --> 00:15:48,167
what she should do
in a situation like this.
316
00:15:49,834 --> 00:15:50,834
I'm not.
317
00:15:50,834 --> 00:15:51,968
I'm just saying that,
318
00:15:51,968 --> 00:15:53,734
if you do have the baby
and it's sick,
319
00:15:53,734 --> 00:15:56,200
we can take care of
the baby, too.
320
00:15:58,067 --> 00:15:59,434
So you mean,
you're saying, like,
321
00:15:59,434 --> 00:16:00,834
uh...
322
00:16:00,834 --> 00:16:04,501
what, that you would support
any decision I make?
323
00:16:04,501 --> 00:16:05,434
Yeah.
324
00:16:07,567 --> 00:16:10,100
Oh, well...
Thanks.
325
00:16:11,767 --> 00:16:12,801
Thanks a lot, D.J.
326
00:16:12,801 --> 00:16:16,133
It really makes
me feel better
327
00:16:16,133 --> 00:16:17,634
that you can
handle the truth.
328
00:16:17,634 --> 00:16:19,200
Good.
329
00:16:19,200 --> 00:16:21,501
So am I getting
a dirt bike for Chris-- No.
330
00:16:34,501 --> 00:16:36,067
Where the hell's that doctor?
331
00:16:36,067 --> 00:16:37,400
I don't know.
332
00:16:37,400 --> 00:16:40,968
Boy, I hope he's driving
a truck for the city some day,
333
00:16:40,968 --> 00:16:43,133
and he has a break down.
334
00:16:43,133 --> 00:16:45,601
Then we'll see who's
waiting for who.
335
00:16:50,801 --> 00:16:52,534
Hey, look at this.
336
00:16:52,534 --> 00:16:54,901
He's got three kids.
337
00:16:57,100 --> 00:16:58,968
Man, if that's what he
thinks kids look like,
338
00:16:58,968 --> 00:17:01,367
how's he gonna know if
something's wrong with ours?
339
00:17:07,367 --> 00:17:12,767
Listen, honey, no matter
what this doctor says...
340
00:17:12,767 --> 00:17:15,367
I'm gonna want to
talk about this.
341
00:17:17,767 --> 00:17:19,868
I'm sorry to keep
you waiting.
342
00:17:19,868 --> 00:17:21,100
Oh, no, that's okay.
343
00:17:21,100 --> 00:17:22,968
We still have four bottles
of beer on the wall.
344
00:17:24,167 --> 00:17:26,567
Well, then, take one down
and pass it a--
345
00:17:30,267 --> 00:17:31,701
Yeah, okay.
346
00:17:31,701 --> 00:17:35,567
The results of a second amnio
indicate that, apparently,
347
00:17:35,567 --> 00:17:37,734
this first test was
contaminated.
348
00:17:37,734 --> 00:17:40,734
The second sample shows
that everything is developing normally.
349
00:17:40,734 --> 00:17:42,067
Oh, really?
350
00:17:42,067 --> 00:17:43,067
Mm-hmm.
351
00:17:43,067 --> 00:17:44,133
You mean the kid's okay?
352
00:17:44,133 --> 00:17:45,801
That's right.
353
00:17:48,133 --> 00:17:50,267
Hallelujah.
354
00:17:50,267 --> 00:17:52,834
I'm sure you two would like
to have some time alone.
355
00:17:52,834 --> 00:17:56,100
Congratulations.
Take all the time you want.
356
00:17:56,100 --> 00:17:58,367
Oh, oh, by the way:
it's a girl.
357
00:18:01,801 --> 00:18:03,367
Oh, my God,
it's a little girl.
358
00:18:05,434 --> 00:18:06,501
Oh, boy, another daughter.
359
00:18:06,501 --> 00:18:09,100
She'll be able to wear
hand me downs
360
00:18:09,100 --> 00:18:10,667
from Jackie's boy.
361
00:18:19,567 --> 00:18:21,901
Hey, I'm really sorry, Dan.
362
00:18:21,901 --> 00:18:24,300
I know, I was, like,
pushing you away all week.
363
00:18:24,300 --> 00:18:25,767
And...
364
00:18:25,767 --> 00:18:26,901
I wasn't a very good wife.
365
00:18:26,901 --> 00:18:28,734
No, man, I know.
That's okay.
366
00:18:28,734 --> 00:18:30,033
You've been through a lot.
367
00:18:30,033 --> 00:18:31,868
At least we're partners
again, right?
368
00:18:31,868 --> 00:18:32,934
50/50?
369
00:18:32,934 --> 00:18:34,767
God, I just couldn't
stand not knowing.
370
00:18:34,767 --> 00:18:35,968
I was so scared.
371
00:18:35,968 --> 00:18:37,934
Hey, I haven't been
that great, either.
372
00:18:39,467 --> 00:18:41,968
Oh, come on, Dan.
This is my apology, okay?
373
00:18:41,968 --> 00:18:44,834
Let me be the ass.
You always get to be the ass.
374
00:18:46,501 --> 00:18:50,801
Okay, as of tonight,
you are the biggest ass in the world.
375
00:18:52,200 --> 00:18:55,000
Could this day possibly
get any better?
376
00:19:02,534 --> 00:19:04,901
We are gonna celebrate
so huge, tonight.
377
00:19:04,901 --> 00:19:06,467
Anything you
want for dinner.
378
00:19:06,467 --> 00:19:10,467
Oh, great.
Let's finish off D.J.'s Halloween candy.
379
00:19:10,467 --> 00:19:14,434
Well, I already had that
celebration without ya.
380
00:19:14,434 --> 00:19:16,367
All right, then we'll just
have a romantic dinner
381
00:19:16,367 --> 00:19:18,000
and finish off with
an R-rated movie.
382
00:19:18,000 --> 00:19:20,033
Oh, yeah?
I've got a better idea.
383
00:19:20,033 --> 00:19:23,467
We skip dinner and we'll
make our own R-rated movie.
384
00:19:23,467 --> 00:19:25,267
Okay, but I only appear naked
385
00:19:25,267 --> 00:19:27,100
if it's tasteful
and organic to the plot.
386
00:19:27,100 --> 00:19:28,100
[laughs]
387
00:19:30,834 --> 00:19:34,434
Hey, something's different.
388
00:19:34,434 --> 00:19:35,868
What?
389
00:19:35,868 --> 00:19:40,000
Not only did God help our baby,
but he cleaned our kitchen.
390
00:19:42,167 --> 00:19:43,434
What are you doing
with all this?
391
00:19:43,434 --> 00:19:45,267
They were all over upstairs.
392
00:19:45,267 --> 00:19:47,834
I mean under my bed,
in Becky's room.
393
00:19:47,834 --> 00:19:50,400
There's even a piece
of birthday cake in the bathroom!
394
00:19:52,033 --> 00:19:53,234
I was saving that.
395
00:19:56,734 --> 00:19:59,000
Well, D.J., your mother
and I are very proud of you
396
00:19:59,000 --> 00:20:01,634
for covering up whatever
you've done in such a clever way.
397
00:20:03,000 --> 00:20:04,400
I just thought
I'd help out.
398
00:20:04,400 --> 00:20:06,200
I mean, I felt really
bad about the baby.
399
00:20:06,200 --> 00:20:08,901
That's so sweet, D.J.
400
00:20:08,901 --> 00:20:10,534
But you know what?
There's nothing to worry about,
401
00:20:10,534 --> 00:20:12,801
'cause we just saw the doctor,
and he said the baby's fine.
402
00:20:12,801 --> 00:20:14,267
It is?
403
00:20:14,267 --> 00:20:16,634
Yeah, but I think
it'd be a lot better
404
00:20:16,634 --> 00:20:18,834
if you went and
cleaned up the backyard.
405
00:20:20,267 --> 00:20:22,501
D.J., you don't have
to do any more.
406
00:20:22,501 --> 00:20:23,734
Thanks.
407
00:20:26,767 --> 00:20:29,300
Why did you tell D.J.
the baby might be sick?
408
00:20:29,300 --> 00:20:30,934
What?
409
00:20:30,934 --> 00:20:32,801
I thought we talked
and we agreed
410
00:20:32,801 --> 00:20:35,133
that we weren't gonna
say anything to the kids.
411
00:20:35,133 --> 00:20:37,067
Well, we didn't.
I did.
412
00:20:37,067 --> 00:20:38,133
Well, you should'a asked me.
413
00:20:38,133 --> 00:20:39,267
Why?
414
00:20:39,267 --> 00:20:41,234
Because we agreed.
415
00:20:41,234 --> 00:20:43,501
Well, I changed our mind.
416
00:20:43,501 --> 00:20:45,601
Really 50/50, Roseanne.
417
00:20:45,601 --> 00:20:47,234
What's your problem?
418
00:20:47,234 --> 00:20:50,567
Aw, fine. Nothing.
I don't have a problem.
419
00:20:50,567 --> 00:20:51,567
Well, great.
420
00:20:51,567 --> 00:20:52,834
So...
421
00:20:52,834 --> 00:20:55,200
Well, what do you want
to do to celebrate?
422
00:20:55,200 --> 00:20:57,167
Well, you wanted me to
paint that baby bed.
423
00:20:57,167 --> 00:20:58,567
I might as well get on it.
424
00:21:12,267 --> 00:21:15,667
Say, dear, isn't Roseanne
and Dan's little girl
425
00:21:15,667 --> 00:21:17,367
16 today?
426
00:21:17,367 --> 00:21:18,567
I know.
427
00:21:21,634 --> 00:21:24,167
I sent her a birthday gift,
428
00:21:24,167 --> 00:21:26,534
and I also got a little
something for her two kids.
429
00:21:28,234 --> 00:21:30,133
You know, that reminds me.
D.J. called today.
430
00:21:30,133 --> 00:21:32,133
He finally got that
big promotion.
431
00:21:32,133 --> 00:21:33,501
Oh, that's great.
432
00:21:33,501 --> 00:21:36,400
He has wanted to get on
that trapeze for years.
433
00:21:38,734 --> 00:21:41,000
Ooh, where's our
little Andy?
434
00:21:41,000 --> 00:21:43,934
That kid is gonna miss
his football game.
435
00:21:43,934 --> 00:21:45,167
Oh, don't worry, dear.
436
00:21:45,167 --> 00:21:46,634
I don't think they're
gonna start without him.
437
00:21:46,634 --> 00:21:48,801
After all, he is
the captain of the squad.
438
00:21:48,801 --> 00:21:51,501
Do you remember how you
used to complain about the way I dressed him?
439
00:21:53,234 --> 00:21:54,234
Hey, Andy!
440
00:21:54,234 --> 00:21:56,534
Hurry up there, buddy boy!
441
00:21:56,534 --> 00:21:57,868
Will you guys stop yelling?
442
00:21:57,868 --> 00:21:59,300
I'm ready.
443
00:22:02,400 --> 00:22:06,033
Now, son, before you go out
there on that field today,
444
00:22:06,033 --> 00:22:08,334
your mom and I, we just
want to tell you one thing.
445
00:22:08,334 --> 00:22:09,868
We are so proud of you.
446
00:22:09,868 --> 00:22:13,200
You've turned into one
fine strapping young man.
447
00:22:15,133 --> 00:22:17,400
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
448
00:22:17,400 --> 00:22:18,467
Where are my pom-poms?
449
00:22:18,467 --> 00:22:19,834
Right where you left them.
450
00:22:19,834 --> 00:22:21,467
Up by your purse.
451
00:22:24,734 --> 00:22:28,000
Yep, that boy's gonna break
a few hearts one day.
452
00:22:28,000 --> 00:22:29,801
[laughs]
453
00:22:29,801 --> 00:22:34,033
Why do I drink so much?
454
00:22:34,033 --> 00:22:36,968
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