Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:07,140 --> 00:00:08,140
What's that?
2
00:00:08,208 --> 00:00:10,075
Dead guy.
3
00:00:10,143 --> 00:00:12,378
Nancy, this is
an eating establishment.
4
00:00:12,445 --> 00:00:13,579
Are you crazy?
5
00:00:13,646 --> 00:00:16,248
You can't tie up
a whole table for four.
6
00:00:17,617 --> 00:00:18,984
He doesn't look
very realistic.
7
00:00:19,052 --> 00:00:23,555
Next year
i'm springing for a real dead guy.
8
00:00:23,623 --> 00:00:26,892
Well, he looks
pretty good to me, Roseanne.
9
00:00:26,960 --> 00:00:29,261
He looks like
he died in his sleep.
10
00:00:29,329 --> 00:00:30,763
Give me that knife.
11
00:00:41,207 --> 00:00:42,775
Yes, here at
the lunch box,
12
00:00:42,842 --> 00:00:46,111
The customer
is always right.
13
00:00:46,179 --> 00:00:48,714
Hey, wait.
You're not Leon.
14
00:00:50,784 --> 00:00:51,884
Well...
15
00:00:51,951 --> 00:00:55,320
Spiders,
blood, corpses.
16
00:00:55,388 --> 00:00:58,490
You know, charmed
as I am by all your accoutrement,
17
00:00:58,558 --> 00:01:03,162
I still feel
the need to remove the fake vomit.
18
00:01:03,229 --> 00:01:05,197
Oh, it's wet.
19
00:01:05,265 --> 00:01:07,800
Well, that plastic stuff
never fools anybody.
20
00:01:07,867 --> 00:01:09,234
You mean this is--
21
00:01:09,302 --> 00:01:12,638
No. We just
doctored up some of the loose meat.
22
00:01:12,706 --> 00:01:15,507
What did you do
to it to make it look like that?
23
00:01:15,575 --> 00:01:16,442
Surprisingly little.
24
00:01:18,345 --> 00:01:21,680
Have you decided
what you're wearing to dan's lodge party?
25
00:01:21,748 --> 00:01:24,016
Well, we were thinkin'
that you and me and Dan and Roseanne
26
00:01:24,084 --> 00:01:25,751
Would go as
the cleaver family.
27
00:01:25,819 --> 00:01:27,019
Oh, yeah, look at this.
28
00:01:27,087 --> 00:01:28,821
I'm beaver cleaver.
29
00:01:30,056 --> 00:01:32,291
And Dan gets to be
June cleaver,
30
00:01:32,359 --> 00:01:34,126
And you can be ward,
and I get to be wally.
31
00:01:34,194 --> 00:01:35,227
I don't know, you guys.
32
00:01:35,295 --> 00:01:36,995
I kinda already had
something else in mind.
33
00:01:37,063 --> 00:01:39,098
Oh, my god, you're not
going to shave your head
34
00:01:39,165 --> 00:01:42,801
And go as that
stop-the-insanity woman again, are you?
35
00:01:42,869 --> 00:01:45,004
No, but I don't think
I should
36
00:01:45,071 --> 00:01:46,438
Spend the whole evening
with you guys.
37
00:01:46,506 --> 00:01:48,741
I don't think Dan
would have a good time.
38
00:01:48,808 --> 00:01:49,908
What are you
talking about?
39
00:01:49,976 --> 00:01:54,113
I don't think Dan
likes me very much.
40
00:01:54,180 --> 00:01:56,448
Well, of course
he does.
41
00:01:56,516 --> 00:01:58,851
Look, i'm very sensitive
to these things.
42
00:02:10,597 --> 00:02:14,133
When I tell Dan
that you said that,
43
00:02:14,200 --> 00:02:15,200
He is going to
come over here
44
00:02:15,268 --> 00:02:16,735
And set
everything straight.
45
00:02:16,803 --> 00:02:18,103
He's going to
hug you so hard
46
00:02:18,171 --> 00:02:21,473
That you're going
to be leaking silicone for days.
47
00:02:23,076 --> 00:02:24,977
Then you think
he really does like me?
48
00:02:25,045 --> 00:02:27,813
Yes, already.
Everybody likes you.
49
00:02:27,881 --> 00:02:30,149
God,
you're so annoying.
50
00:02:30,216 --> 00:02:32,418
[telephone rings]
51
00:02:35,388 --> 00:02:36,822
Lunch box.
52
00:02:36,890 --> 00:02:38,657
Oh. Hi, Darlene.
53
00:02:38,725 --> 00:02:42,661
Hey, if this is about
you not coming home for Halloween,
54
00:02:42,729 --> 00:02:44,697
You better have
a damn good excuse.
55
00:02:44,764 --> 00:02:46,298
Well, I was
in a horrible accident,
56
00:02:46,366 --> 00:02:47,833
And i'm just a head.
57
00:02:52,739 --> 00:02:55,341
And?
58
00:02:55,408 --> 00:02:56,508
Something came up.
59
00:02:56,576 --> 00:02:59,411
There's this
Halloween party here,
60
00:02:59,479 --> 00:03:02,881
And the thing is
this guy asked me to go with him,
61
00:03:02,949 --> 00:03:04,550
And i'm thinking
about going.
62
00:03:04,617 --> 00:03:07,186
This isn't like a date
or nothin' is it?
63
00:03:07,253 --> 00:03:08,520
No, it's
no big deal.
64
00:03:08,588 --> 00:03:10,289
Just please
don't tell David.
65
00:03:10,357 --> 00:03:12,358
Well, gee, I don't know.
66
00:03:12,425 --> 00:03:15,861
Come on. It'll be like
our little secret, ok?
67
00:03:15,929 --> 00:03:18,464
Ok, fine,
i'll do this for you,
68
00:03:18,531 --> 00:03:20,366
But you remember us
when i'm about 80
69
00:03:20,433 --> 00:03:23,202
And I need help getting
your dad into his truss.
70
00:03:24,437 --> 00:03:26,939
Hey, mom, thanks
for being there.
71
00:03:27,007 --> 00:03:29,208
Yeah, well,
it was my shift.
72
00:03:29,275 --> 00:03:31,110
Ok, bye.
73
00:03:31,177 --> 00:03:32,945
Bye.
74
00:03:34,114 --> 00:03:35,881
I cannot believe
what Darlene just told me.
75
00:03:35,949 --> 00:03:37,883
She's cheating
on David.
76
00:03:37,951 --> 00:03:39,118
I never thought
this would happen.
77
00:03:39,185 --> 00:03:43,055
We're like girlfriends.
78
00:03:43,123 --> 00:03:46,058
Well, at least
the waiting is over,
79
00:03:46,126 --> 00:03:49,094
And I survived
my annual Roseanne prank.
80
00:03:49,162 --> 00:03:51,196
Can you imagine
the shock
81
00:03:51,264 --> 00:03:53,899
When I sat down at my desk,
only to discover--
82
00:03:53,967 --> 00:03:57,236
Ooh, oogie, boogie,
woogie, boogie, boogie.
83
00:03:58,371 --> 00:03:59,738
[scoffs]
frankly, Roseanne,
84
00:03:59,806 --> 00:04:01,073
I'm disappointed.
85
00:04:58,298 --> 00:04:59,832
What's that?
86
00:04:59,899 --> 00:05:02,301
Ah, that's my pranks,
dirty tricks,
87
00:05:02,369 --> 00:05:03,902
And flat-out mean stuff
88
00:05:03,970 --> 00:05:07,439
I plan to do
to my loved ones list.
89
00:05:07,507 --> 00:05:11,543
Let's see--David,
David, David. Aha.
90
00:05:11,611 --> 00:05:14,646
Well, you may want
to wear a helmet to bed.
91
00:05:16,016 --> 00:05:18,183
Have you figured out
what your costume's gonna be
92
00:05:18,251 --> 00:05:19,651
For the lodge party?
93
00:05:19,719 --> 00:05:20,819
I'm not going.
94
00:05:20,887 --> 00:05:22,321
I mean, if Darlene
were gonna be here,
95
00:05:22,389 --> 00:05:23,655
I'd give it a try
96
00:05:23,723 --> 00:05:25,057
But she called and
said that she has to
97
00:05:25,125 --> 00:05:26,925
Study for a test
on Halloween night.
98
00:05:26,993 --> 00:05:30,095
Well, yeah. Well, you know,
that's school for you.
99
00:05:30,163 --> 00:05:33,165
It's either a test
or something else.
100
00:05:34,968 --> 00:05:36,268
So i'm not
gonna do anything.
101
00:05:36,336 --> 00:05:37,903
Oh, but, David,
102
00:05:37,971 --> 00:05:40,506
You can't
not do anything. This is Halloween.
103
00:05:40,573 --> 00:05:41,674
It's the
one night a year
104
00:05:41,741 --> 00:05:43,375
Where you're supposed
to break all the rules.
105
00:05:43,443 --> 00:05:45,010
And you're a conner now.
106
00:05:45,078 --> 00:05:46,912
I just cannot allow you
to sit here at home
107
00:05:46,980 --> 00:05:49,181
And be good and nice
and well-behaved.
108
00:05:49,249 --> 00:05:51,216
People will
begin to talk.
109
00:05:51,284 --> 00:05:52,351
[door slams]
110
00:05:52,419 --> 00:05:53,852
Hi, honey.
I'm home.
111
00:05:53,920 --> 00:05:55,754
Grr.
112
00:05:55,822 --> 00:05:57,523
Ow!
113
00:05:57,590 --> 00:05:59,558
I told you to get
salted crackers.
114
00:05:59,626 --> 00:06:01,193
David:
i'll be outside.
115
00:06:03,029 --> 00:06:04,063
Ow!
116
00:06:06,099 --> 00:06:07,800
Well, what have
we here, my pet,
117
00:06:07,867 --> 00:06:09,468
Your little
prank list?
118
00:06:09,536 --> 00:06:11,337
Yes, but you
shall never see it.
119
00:06:11,404 --> 00:06:13,639
I'm putting it
in the vault.
120
00:06:13,707 --> 00:06:15,207
I'm coming in
after it.
121
00:06:17,844 --> 00:06:19,044
Ha ha ho.
122
00:06:19,112 --> 00:06:20,546
Gimme, gimme!
123
00:06:24,217 --> 00:06:25,150
Dan?
124
00:06:25,218 --> 00:06:27,052
Yes?
125
00:06:27,120 --> 00:06:29,621
You should have been
at the diner today.
126
00:06:29,689 --> 00:06:31,090
The weirdest thing
happened.
127
00:06:31,157 --> 00:06:32,524
Like, right out
of the blue,
128
00:06:32,592 --> 00:06:34,093
Nancy comes up with
this thing where
129
00:06:34,160 --> 00:06:35,928
She thinks that
you don't like her.
130
00:06:43,636 --> 00:06:45,337
You do so!
131
00:06:45,405 --> 00:06:46,505
I'm sorry, Roseanne.
132
00:06:46,573 --> 00:06:47,539
She's the most
superficial person
133
00:06:47,607 --> 00:06:48,807
I've ever met.
134
00:06:48,875 --> 00:06:50,843
But that's
just her facade.
135
00:06:50,910 --> 00:06:52,678
She's rude and selfish.
136
00:06:52,746 --> 00:06:56,715
I know, but inside
she's just a scared little girl.
137
00:06:56,783 --> 00:06:58,884
And I know
who's scaring her--
138
00:06:58,952 --> 00:07:01,253
A raging bitch
on the outside.
139
00:07:02,722 --> 00:07:04,590
That is no fair,
Dan.
140
00:07:04,657 --> 00:07:07,593
You know all your dumb,
stupid, idiot friends that I hate?
141
00:07:07,660 --> 00:07:08,927
I like them.
142
00:07:10,296 --> 00:07:12,765
Hey, Roseanne,
I pretend to like Nancy.
143
00:07:12,832 --> 00:07:13,766
Well, then
you suck at it,
144
00:07:13,833 --> 00:07:15,167
'cause she's
onto you.
145
00:07:15,235 --> 00:07:18,270
Nancy's aware
of other people?
146
00:07:18,338 --> 00:07:20,272
You're gonna go
in there tomorrow, Dan,
147
00:07:20,340 --> 00:07:22,241
And you're gonna
tell her that you like her,
148
00:07:22,308 --> 00:07:24,943
And then you're
gonna give her a great big old hug.
149
00:07:25,011 --> 00:07:26,045
Well, then,
150
00:07:26,112 --> 00:07:27,046
I'd just have
to come home
151
00:07:27,113 --> 00:07:28,781
And peel off
all my skin.
152
00:07:30,684 --> 00:07:32,451
I'm serious, Dan.
You've got to do it.
153
00:07:32,519 --> 00:07:34,186
Or else it's gonna be
two hugs
154
00:07:34,254 --> 00:07:36,121
And a nice little poem.
155
00:07:36,189 --> 00:07:37,723
Roseanne,
i'm not gonna tell her I like her
156
00:07:37,791 --> 00:07:39,091
Because
I don't like her.
157
00:07:39,159 --> 00:07:40,392
Well, I know,
158
00:07:40,460 --> 00:07:41,927
But that's why
you have to go down there
159
00:07:41,995 --> 00:07:43,462
And tell her
that you like her.
160
00:07:43,530 --> 00:07:45,464
You never tell people
that you like that you like them.
161
00:07:45,532 --> 00:07:46,965
The only people
that you ever tell that you like
162
00:07:47,033 --> 00:07:49,134
Are the people
you actually don't like.
163
00:07:52,372 --> 00:07:53,872
Ok, i'll do it.
164
00:07:54,974 --> 00:07:56,008
Really?
165
00:07:56,076 --> 00:07:57,976
Course not.
166
00:07:58,044 --> 00:07:59,511
The only things
you have to say you're gonna do
167
00:07:59,579 --> 00:08:01,480
Are things you
have no intention of doing.
168
00:08:10,890 --> 00:08:14,793
So, uh, Dan said that
all Nancy ever talks about
169
00:08:14,861 --> 00:08:16,161
Is herself.
170
00:08:16,229 --> 00:08:17,863
Well, Roseanne,
it is kind of true.
171
00:08:17,931 --> 00:08:18,997
No, it isn't.
172
00:08:19,065 --> 00:08:20,332
What else
does she talk about?
173
00:08:20,400 --> 00:08:22,334
I don't know.
I never listen to her.
174
00:08:25,739 --> 00:08:27,773
I just saw
the saddest thing.
175
00:08:27,841 --> 00:08:29,108
Oh, what is it,
Nance?
176
00:08:29,175 --> 00:08:30,709
See that old lady
over there?
177
00:08:30,777 --> 00:08:33,345
The bent gray one?
178
00:08:33,413 --> 00:08:34,346
I see her.
179
00:08:34,414 --> 00:08:37,716
I have that same dress.
180
00:08:40,420 --> 00:08:42,688
What was I thinking?
181
00:08:44,190 --> 00:08:46,425
I hate it
when dan's right.
182
00:08:47,927 --> 00:08:49,495
So what did Dan think
about all of us
183
00:08:49,562 --> 00:08:51,163
Going as the cleaver
family?
184
00:08:51,231 --> 00:08:53,032
Oh, he thought
it was really cool.
185
00:08:53,099 --> 00:08:55,000
And he thought of a way
to make it funnier, too.
186
00:08:55,068 --> 00:08:58,737
It seems as though June,
ok, is so mangled
187
00:08:58,805 --> 00:09:01,306
That it's take ward,
wally, and the beaver
188
00:09:01,374 --> 00:09:04,076
To carry what's
left of her around in a mason jar.
189
00:09:04,144 --> 00:09:07,546
Wait a minute.
If Dan is going as June,
190
00:09:07,614 --> 00:09:09,381
That means he's not
part of the group.
191
00:09:09,449 --> 00:09:11,383
I was right.
He hates me.
192
00:09:12,485 --> 00:09:14,286
No, that's
not true, Nance.
193
00:09:14,354 --> 00:09:15,988
No, he likes you,
Nancy.
194
00:09:16,056 --> 00:09:17,489
It's just,
you know,
195
00:09:17,557 --> 00:09:20,492
He's not that
comfortable in high heels.
196
00:09:20,560 --> 00:09:22,928
Look, if the two of you
can't be honest with me about it,
197
00:09:22,996 --> 00:09:25,798
Maybe you don't
like me, either.
198
00:09:25,865 --> 00:09:29,001
No, we like you,
Nancy.
199
00:09:29,069 --> 00:09:30,069
I mean, maybe
not right now,
200
00:09:30,136 --> 00:09:31,603
But, you know,
other times.
201
00:09:31,671 --> 00:09:32,705
Well, if you hate me
so much,
202
00:09:32,772 --> 00:09:34,573
Maybe I shouldn't
work here anymore.
203
00:09:34,641 --> 00:09:35,941
Leon's been wanting
to buy my share.
204
00:09:36,009 --> 00:09:37,276
Maybe I should just sell.
205
00:09:41,247 --> 00:09:43,248
Gotcha.
206
00:09:43,316 --> 00:09:45,417
Ah...Ha ha ha.
207
00:09:45,485 --> 00:09:48,754
The whole thing's
a prank me and sis here worked up
208
00:09:48,822 --> 00:09:52,257
To make you think
that us and Dan don't like you.
209
00:09:52,325 --> 00:09:53,525
Ha ha ha ha.
210
00:09:55,595 --> 00:09:56,862
Boo!
211
00:09:59,699 --> 00:10:01,033
So Dan does like me,
212
00:10:01,101 --> 00:10:02,668
And he's going to
come here and hug me?
213
00:10:02,736 --> 00:10:05,571
Oh, well...I mean
he--he wants to,
214
00:10:05,638 --> 00:10:07,940
But i'm just too
jealous to let him, you know.
215
00:10:08,008 --> 00:10:09,608
So, instead he's
going to pull,
216
00:10:09,676 --> 00:10:11,977
Like, this great
all-time prank on you.
217
00:10:12,045 --> 00:10:13,846
On me, really?
Oh, oh, yeah.
218
00:10:13,913 --> 00:10:15,114
Huge. It'll be huge.
219
00:10:15,181 --> 00:10:16,815
Really embarrassing,
too. Feel better?
220
00:10:18,284 --> 00:10:21,286
I am so touched,
I could cry.
221
00:10:21,354 --> 00:10:22,454
Back in a sec.
222
00:10:22,522 --> 00:10:25,457
I love to watch
myself cry.
223
00:10:26,526 --> 00:10:28,460
Is Dan playing
a trick on Nancy?
224
00:10:28,528 --> 00:10:30,662
He is now.
225
00:10:30,730 --> 00:10:33,298
Hi, Mrs. Conner.
Hi, Jackie.
226
00:10:33,366 --> 00:10:34,600
Hi, guys.
227
00:10:35,869 --> 00:10:38,303
Who's the skirt
with David?
228
00:10:38,371 --> 00:10:40,139
Huh, nice rack.
229
00:10:44,210 --> 00:10:45,978
Hello, David.
230
00:10:46,046 --> 00:10:47,713
Hello, david's
little friend.
231
00:10:47,781 --> 00:10:48,981
This is sally knopp.
232
00:10:49,049 --> 00:10:50,482
She's on the Halloween
dance committee,
233
00:10:50,550 --> 00:10:52,818
And she asked me
to draw some posters.
234
00:10:52,886 --> 00:10:54,486
So we came here...
235
00:10:54,554 --> 00:10:56,488
Where you are...To work.
236
00:10:56,556 --> 00:10:57,656
'cause, uh...
237
00:10:57,724 --> 00:10:59,324
'cause that's
what we're doing...
238
00:10:59,392 --> 00:11:00,359
Workin'.
239
00:11:02,896 --> 00:11:04,329
I knew you'd be here.
240
00:11:05,999 --> 00:11:08,334
Can we get
some pop, please?
241
00:11:12,972 --> 00:11:15,007
Well, he says
that they're working.
242
00:11:15,075 --> 00:11:16,675
Oh, yeah. Right.
243
00:11:16,743 --> 00:11:18,677
Well, you've gotta
feel really guilty.
244
00:11:18,745 --> 00:11:19,678
You're the one
that told David
245
00:11:19,746 --> 00:11:21,080
To do something
for Halloween.
246
00:11:21,147 --> 00:11:22,448
I didn't know he was
going to do her.
247
00:11:24,417 --> 00:11:25,951
Well, what did
you think he was gonna do?
248
00:11:26,019 --> 00:11:27,086
I don't know.
249
00:11:27,153 --> 00:11:28,253
I just didn't think
it was fair, you know,
250
00:11:28,321 --> 00:11:29,521
Him sittin' there
all alone.
251
00:11:29,589 --> 00:11:30,856
I want him
to have some fun.
252
00:11:30,924 --> 00:11:32,524
Darlene's goin' out
with some other guy.
253
00:11:32,592 --> 00:11:33,926
How the hell
was I supposed to know
254
00:11:33,993 --> 00:11:37,329
He could get a date
with a normal girl?
255
00:11:37,397 --> 00:11:39,698
You should have
seen me.
256
00:11:39,766 --> 00:11:41,867
I looked so sad.
257
00:11:43,269 --> 00:11:45,204
I'm so excited
about Dan's prank.
258
00:11:45,271 --> 00:11:48,240
I can't wait to see
how I look surprised.
259
00:11:50,710 --> 00:11:51,877
[telephone rings]
260
00:11:51,945 --> 00:11:53,879
David, here's your drink.
261
00:11:53,947 --> 00:11:55,514
Here, sally.
262
00:11:55,582 --> 00:11:56,548
[ring]
263
00:11:56,616 --> 00:11:57,883
Oh, sorry.
264
00:11:59,119 --> 00:12:00,219
Lunch box.
265
00:12:00,286 --> 00:12:01,387
Hey, mom.
266
00:12:01,521 --> 00:12:04,056
Oh, hi...Uh, caller.
267
00:12:08,128 --> 00:12:09,061
It's Darlene.
268
00:12:09,129 --> 00:12:10,729
Oh.
269
00:12:10,797 --> 00:12:12,564
Uh, listen, I just
made a decision about something.
270
00:12:12,632 --> 00:12:15,234
And I wanted
to talk to somebody who'd understand.
271
00:12:15,301 --> 00:12:16,869
When I thought
about goin' out
272
00:12:16,936 --> 00:12:18,470
With that other guy
it made me realize
273
00:12:18,538 --> 00:12:20,005
How much I love David.
274
00:12:20,073 --> 00:12:23,342
I would just feel
too guilty dating anybody else.
275
00:12:23,410 --> 00:12:26,745
Yeah, yeah, that guilt'll
really eat you up.
276
00:12:28,214 --> 00:12:29,548
You know, mom,
I think it's really cool
277
00:12:29,616 --> 00:12:31,517
The way we can talk
to each other now.
278
00:12:31,584 --> 00:12:33,252
Well, yeah, good.
279
00:12:33,319 --> 00:12:34,420
I hope you remember this,
280
00:12:34,487 --> 00:12:35,587
For, you know,
in case you ever
281
00:12:35,655 --> 00:12:38,657
Get, like, in a big
fight or anything.
282
00:12:38,725 --> 00:12:39,758
Do me a favor.
283
00:12:39,826 --> 00:12:42,027
Keep an eye on David.
284
00:12:42,095 --> 00:12:43,462
Make sure he's happy.
285
00:12:43,530 --> 00:12:45,264
Yeah, happy.
286
00:12:45,331 --> 00:12:47,533
Ok, sure.
287
00:12:47,600 --> 00:12:49,101
Will do.
288
00:12:49,169 --> 00:12:50,936
All right.
Talk to you later.
289
00:12:52,505 --> 00:12:53,472
Well?
290
00:12:53,540 --> 00:12:54,973
Well, Darlene says
291
00:12:55,041 --> 00:12:57,476
She's not gonna go out
with this other guy after all
292
00:12:57,544 --> 00:12:59,978
Because she just realized
how much she loved David.
293
00:13:00,046 --> 00:13:01,914
Oh, and now david's
with another girl.
294
00:13:01,981 --> 00:13:03,816
And you're the one
that pushed him into it.
295
00:13:03,883 --> 00:13:06,452
Man, i'd hate to be
in your shoes right now.
296
00:13:12,025 --> 00:13:13,559
You know,
I hope your baby
297
00:13:13,626 --> 00:13:15,160
Doesn't grow
really long fingernails,
298
00:13:15,228 --> 00:13:17,329
'cause sometimes
they like to hang on on their way out.
299
00:13:27,707 --> 00:13:30,142
Well, you know, Dan,
i've been thinking,
300
00:13:30,210 --> 00:13:33,145
And I got way
too mad last night,
301
00:13:33,213 --> 00:13:35,647
And I was
really a pain.
302
00:13:35,715 --> 00:13:36,815
And i'm sorry,
303
00:13:36,883 --> 00:13:39,785
And blah,
blah, blah-- love, Roseanne.
304
00:13:39,853 --> 00:13:42,721
No way. Whatever you want,
I ain't doing it.
305
00:13:42,789 --> 00:13:45,791
Why, Dan, your suspicion
truly hurts me.
306
00:13:45,859 --> 00:13:48,594
After I was
so nice to you, too.
307
00:13:48,661 --> 00:13:49,995
Gee, I wonder
what you can do
308
00:13:50,063 --> 00:13:51,163
To make it up to me.
309
00:13:51,231 --> 00:13:52,831
I know!
310
00:13:52,899 --> 00:13:55,467
You can play
a prank on Nancy.
311
00:13:55,535 --> 00:13:59,204
God beat me to it.
312
00:13:59,272 --> 00:14:01,507
Dan, if you don't
play a prank on Nancy
313
00:14:01,574 --> 00:14:03,142
To show her that
we all like her,
314
00:14:03,209 --> 00:14:05,744
She might sell her shares
of the restaurant to Leon,
315
00:14:05,812 --> 00:14:07,713
And then he would
be my boss again.
316
00:14:07,781 --> 00:14:10,349
And this affects me how?
317
00:14:10,417 --> 00:14:11,917
Maybe you forgot
what i'm like
318
00:14:11,985 --> 00:14:13,585
When I work for Leon.
319
00:14:14,721 --> 00:14:15,854
[whistles]
320
00:14:15,922 --> 00:14:18,190
Don't care for that.
321
00:14:18,258 --> 00:14:19,491
[giggling]
322
00:14:19,559 --> 00:14:21,694
What the hell
is that?
323
00:14:26,199 --> 00:14:27,366
Hey!
324
00:14:27,434 --> 00:14:29,201
You think you would
at least ask
325
00:14:29,269 --> 00:14:31,203
Before you go
gettin' into my cheese puffs.
326
00:14:31,271 --> 00:14:32,871
Maybe they were
for dinner.
327
00:14:34,774 --> 00:14:36,542
Sorry. Do you
want me to go out and get some more?
328
00:14:36,609 --> 00:14:37,876
No. Don't bother.
329
00:14:37,944 --> 00:14:40,713
I'll just have
to make chicken now or something.
330
00:14:40,780 --> 00:14:42,748
You done
with your posters?
331
00:14:42,816 --> 00:14:44,883
Well, yeah,
but now we're working on costumes.
332
00:14:44,951 --> 00:14:46,885
See, we're going to
the Halloween dance together
333
00:14:46,953 --> 00:14:48,887
As Romeo and Juliet.
334
00:14:48,955 --> 00:14:50,689
Six months after
the suicide.
335
00:14:52,792 --> 00:14:53,892
Do you want
to stay for dinner?
336
00:14:53,960 --> 00:14:55,027
We're not
having dinner.
337
00:14:57,063 --> 00:14:58,197
I think i'm just
gonna go.
338
00:14:58,264 --> 00:14:59,331
Aww...
339
00:15:00,567 --> 00:15:01,700
Call me later?
340
00:15:01,835 --> 00:15:03,002
Yeah. Promise.
341
00:15:07,707 --> 00:15:09,241
Gee, do you like her?
342
00:15:09,309 --> 00:15:12,044
Gee, do you have to
cheat on my daughter
343
00:15:12,112 --> 00:15:16,382
Using my couch
and my cheese puffs as your wooing tools?
344
00:15:16,449 --> 00:15:18,417
I'm not cheating
on Darlene.
345
00:15:18,485 --> 00:15:19,752
Sally's a friend.
346
00:15:19,819 --> 00:15:20,753
You're the one
who's making me
347
00:15:20,820 --> 00:15:22,087
Go out on Halloween.
348
00:15:22,155 --> 00:15:23,122
Yeah, but I didn't
know you were
349
00:15:23,189 --> 00:15:24,923
Gonna go out
as a horny teenager.
350
00:15:24,991 --> 00:15:25,958
I'm telling Darlene.
351
00:15:26,026 --> 00:15:27,326
You can't.
352
00:15:27,394 --> 00:15:29,328
Yeah, hey, mothers
report back
353
00:15:29,396 --> 00:15:31,096
About cheating
boyfriends, David.
354
00:15:31,164 --> 00:15:32,431
It's in the bible.
355
00:15:32,499 --> 00:15:34,233
Try reading it.
356
00:15:34,300 --> 00:15:36,935
Come on, i'm just going
to the Halloween dance with her.
357
00:15:37,003 --> 00:15:38,871
Besides,
Darlene bailed on me.
358
00:15:38,938 --> 00:15:42,675
Well,
she had that test.
359
00:15:42,742 --> 00:15:44,276
All right,
Mrs. Conner, fine.
360
00:15:44,344 --> 00:15:45,444
Go ahead and tell her.
361
00:15:45,512 --> 00:15:47,279
But if you do,
i'll know that you lied
362
00:15:47,347 --> 00:15:48,781
About me being
a part of the family
363
00:15:48,848 --> 00:15:50,916
'cause you'd never
screw over one of your own kids.
364
00:15:52,452 --> 00:15:54,620
D.J., come here!
365
00:15:56,990 --> 00:15:57,923
Excuse me.
366
00:16:00,694 --> 00:16:03,429
D.J., you know
that girl in your class
367
00:16:03,496 --> 00:16:05,197
That you hate
and that you call the warthog?
368
00:16:05,265 --> 00:16:07,633
What did I
ask her to do?
369
00:16:07,701 --> 00:16:10,169
To kiss me.
370
00:16:10,236 --> 00:16:12,171
And did she kiss you?
371
00:16:12,238 --> 00:16:13,672
Yes.
372
00:16:13,740 --> 00:16:17,676
And did I have
any reason at all for doing so?
373
00:16:17,744 --> 00:16:19,144
No.
374
00:16:20,880 --> 00:16:22,448
You can go play.
375
00:16:24,150 --> 00:16:25,951
So, you were saying?
376
00:16:32,992 --> 00:16:34,493
[banging]
377
00:16:35,829 --> 00:16:38,230
Does this bother you?
378
00:16:38,298 --> 00:16:39,832
Yeah.
379
00:16:39,899 --> 00:16:43,268
Good! How's this?
380
00:16:43,336 --> 00:16:45,170
It's ok,
but it's not...
381
00:16:45,238 --> 00:16:47,339
Nearly as good
as the sound I can make
382
00:16:47,407 --> 00:16:50,142
With this pan
and a kid's head.
383
00:16:50,210 --> 00:16:51,377
Aah!
384
00:16:51,444 --> 00:16:53,145
Aah! Aah!
385
00:16:55,081 --> 00:16:57,583
Hey, hey, did you
do that for Halloween,
386
00:16:57,650 --> 00:16:59,351
'cause it looks
pretty good.
387
00:17:01,187 --> 00:17:02,187
Do what?
388
00:17:04,424 --> 00:17:06,692
Wear them glasses.
389
00:17:06,760 --> 00:17:08,260
Cut the crap, lady.
390
00:17:10,096 --> 00:17:12,865
All right, everybody
do as I say and you won't get hurt.
391
00:17:12,932 --> 00:17:15,167
Put your hands
on your head.
392
00:17:15,235 --> 00:17:18,037
Ohh. The great big robber
gonna scare me
393
00:17:18,104 --> 00:17:20,706
With his itty-bitty gun.
394
00:17:22,542 --> 00:17:24,510
I said put your hands
on your head, lady.
395
00:17:24,577 --> 00:17:27,379
I know, but you didn't
say "baldy says" first.
396
00:17:28,848 --> 00:17:30,349
I'm serious!
397
00:17:30,417 --> 00:17:32,351
And stop looking
at my face.
398
00:17:32,419 --> 00:17:33,719
i'm looking,
i'm looking
399
00:17:33,787 --> 00:17:36,321
i'm memorizing
everything
400
00:17:36,389 --> 00:17:38,424
Roseanne!
What are you doing?
401
00:17:38,491 --> 00:17:39,591
Isn't it obvious?
402
00:17:39,659 --> 00:17:41,060
I'm getting a prank
pulled on me.
403
00:17:41,127 --> 00:17:44,363
I'm being robbed
by daddy warbucks.
404
00:17:44,431 --> 00:17:47,066
Shut up! Everyone,
give me your money and jewelry,
405
00:17:47,133 --> 00:17:49,034
And you,
open the register.
406
00:17:49,102 --> 00:17:50,803
Ok, but there's not
a lot of money in there,
407
00:17:50,870 --> 00:17:52,204
So I guess i'll
have to give you
408
00:17:52,272 --> 00:17:53,872
The keys to my house, too.
409
00:17:53,940 --> 00:17:56,575
You know,
it's 714 Delaware Street.
410
00:17:56,643 --> 00:17:58,177
Lady, this guy's serious.
411
00:17:58,244 --> 00:18:00,713
Oh, well, then
i'd better give him my wedding ring, too.
412
00:18:06,820 --> 00:18:09,955
Roseanne, that really
wasn't a prank!
413
00:18:10,023 --> 00:18:12,658
Oh, please.
It reeks of Dan.
414
00:18:12,726 --> 00:18:13,759
Wrong!
415
00:18:13,827 --> 00:18:16,428
That's dan's prank.
Show her, sam.
416
00:18:16,496 --> 00:18:18,263
Is there really
any point in doing this now?
417
00:18:18,331 --> 00:18:19,264
I mean...
418
00:18:22,669 --> 00:18:23,936
I'm a little upset.
419
00:18:24,004 --> 00:18:25,337
Show her!
420
00:18:25,405 --> 00:18:27,606
Oh, no, my god...
421
00:18:28,775 --> 00:18:31,043
There's something wrong
with this meat.
422
00:18:31,111 --> 00:18:32,378
I'm gonna be sick.
423
00:18:36,349 --> 00:18:37,616
Ohh...
424
00:18:37,684 --> 00:18:38,617
Aah!
425
00:18:38,685 --> 00:18:40,119
Aah!
426
00:18:40,186 --> 00:18:41,587
Ah ha ha.
427
00:18:41,654 --> 00:18:44,256
Are you serious?
Why didn't you tell me?
428
00:18:44,324 --> 00:18:45,657
I did!
429
00:18:45,725 --> 00:18:48,627
I gave him
my wedding ring.
430
00:18:48,695 --> 00:18:49,628
Would you please
call the police,
431
00:18:49,696 --> 00:18:51,797
And i'll try to see
where he went.
432
00:18:51,865 --> 00:18:54,533
Ah ha ha ha!
433
00:18:54,601 --> 00:18:59,338
Ah ha ha ha.
434
00:18:59,406 --> 00:19:02,808
I knew it.
I told you I knew it.
435
00:19:02,876 --> 00:19:03,876
All along I knew it.
436
00:19:03,943 --> 00:19:05,477
Stupe-nagle.
437
00:19:05,545 --> 00:19:07,246
Not bad.
438
00:19:07,313 --> 00:19:09,014
Not bad?
It was great.
439
00:19:09,082 --> 00:19:11,517
Yawn.
440
00:19:11,584 --> 00:19:12,651
See you at work, Dan.
441
00:19:12,719 --> 00:19:15,120
I got a delivery to make.
Good one, Dan.
442
00:19:15,188 --> 00:19:17,423
Ha ha ha ha.
443
00:19:17,490 --> 00:19:19,158
Ha ha ha!
444
00:19:19,225 --> 00:19:20,325
Stupe-nagle?
445
00:19:22,395 --> 00:19:23,929
So...
446
00:19:23,997 --> 00:19:27,900
I hope you have
Nancy's prank all ready.
447
00:19:27,967 --> 00:19:29,168
Yeah, I do.
Yeah?
448
00:19:29,235 --> 00:19:30,436
And i'm keeping it
right here.
449
00:19:30,503 --> 00:19:31,437
[whistles]
450
00:19:31,504 --> 00:19:32,504
Heh heh heh heh!
451
00:19:32,572 --> 00:19:33,806
That ain't no prank.
452
00:19:33,873 --> 00:19:34,807
Well, it fooled you,
453
00:19:34,874 --> 00:19:37,176
So it's bound
to mystify her.
454
00:19:40,246 --> 00:19:42,514
That's all she's getting,
Roseanne.
455
00:19:42,582 --> 00:19:44,516
I ain't gonna waste
no killer prank on Nancy.
456
00:19:44,584 --> 00:19:46,352
She's not worth it.
I don't like her.
457
00:19:48,722 --> 00:19:50,522
Oh, man.
458
00:19:50,590 --> 00:19:53,192
Hey, Nancy, wait.
You don't understand.
459
00:19:53,259 --> 00:19:55,027
You know, Dan--
460
00:19:55,095 --> 00:19:57,796
Oh, my god!
461
00:19:57,864 --> 00:19:59,698
Ohh...
462
00:20:01,835 --> 00:20:04,703
Oh, I get it.
It's my prank.
463
00:20:07,273 --> 00:20:08,640
You should go
look at your face
464
00:20:08,708 --> 00:20:10,042
And see how
surprised it looks.
465
00:20:10,110 --> 00:20:11,076
Go, go.
466
00:20:11,144 --> 00:20:12,711
Look, he's still going.
467
00:20:12,779 --> 00:20:14,880
You really do like me,
and I like you--
468
00:20:14,948 --> 00:20:16,615
Aah!
469
00:20:19,152 --> 00:20:22,654
Eww! I hope this
fake stuff washes off.
470
00:20:22,722 --> 00:20:23,689
[whimpering]
471
00:20:23,757 --> 00:20:26,058
Ha. You're funny, Dan.
472
00:20:26,126 --> 00:20:27,559
Ha ha ha.
473
00:20:27,627 --> 00:20:29,561
Come on, i'll take you
to the emergency room.
474
00:20:36,136 --> 00:20:38,704
Man, i'm never going
to the hospital on Halloween again.
475
00:20:38,772 --> 00:20:40,339
Oh, come on, Dan,
476
00:20:40,407 --> 00:20:43,876
When else can you
get your nose set by a ninja turtle?
477
00:20:43,943 --> 00:20:46,845
You went too far
this time, Roseanne.
478
00:20:46,913 --> 00:20:47,946
You really embarrassed me.
479
00:20:48,014 --> 00:20:49,848
What's this?
480
00:20:49,916 --> 00:20:50,916
[gasps]
481
00:20:50,984 --> 00:20:54,086
David brought
that girl over here again?
482
00:20:54,154 --> 00:20:55,421
They're not
in the living room.
483
00:20:55,488 --> 00:20:56,922
They better not be
down in his room.
484
00:20:56,990 --> 00:20:58,090
Wait a minute--
oh, man.
485
00:20:58,158 --> 00:20:59,858
Don't go down there
all crazy and everything.
486
00:20:59,926 --> 00:21:01,427
Surprise!
487
00:21:01,494 --> 00:21:03,095
Darlene, you're home!
488
00:21:03,163 --> 00:21:04,963
Darlene, we didn't know
you were coming home.
489
00:21:05,031 --> 00:21:06,665
Why are you guys
acting so weird?
490
00:21:06,733 --> 00:21:09,802
Did I interrupt
some sort of creepy sex thing?
491
00:21:09,869 --> 00:21:13,005
Uh, yes.
Come back tomorrow.
492
00:21:13,073 --> 00:21:15,441
Well, I just
came to see David.
493
00:21:15,508 --> 00:21:16,542
Is he downstairs?
494
00:21:16,609 --> 00:21:18,444
Ohh! This is David.
495
00:21:18,511 --> 00:21:20,112
He's going
as your dad.
496
00:21:20,180 --> 00:21:22,448
He's just trying
to get the nose right.
497
00:21:24,384 --> 00:21:27,219
David's with
that Sally girl.
498
00:21:27,287 --> 00:21:28,454
What Sally girl?
499
00:21:28,521 --> 00:21:29,722
Uh, sally girl,
you know,
500
00:21:29,789 --> 00:21:31,790
That's one of those
a new kids' expression
501
00:21:31,858 --> 00:21:32,791
For a guy's friend.
502
00:21:32,859 --> 00:21:34,626
You know,
like homeboy.
503
00:21:34,694 --> 00:21:36,795
Yeah. Right now,
David's downstairs
504
00:21:36,863 --> 00:21:39,965
Hangin' with his
Sally girl Mike.
505
00:21:42,635 --> 00:21:44,269
No, he's not.
506
00:21:44,337 --> 00:21:45,938
Sally's his new girlfriend.
507
00:21:46,006 --> 00:21:48,207
They were kissing
on the couch for, like, a million hours,
508
00:21:48,274 --> 00:21:50,376
And then they went
downstairs.
509
00:21:50,443 --> 00:21:52,778
Don't move.
510
00:21:55,015 --> 00:21:56,648
All right, young man.
511
00:21:56,716 --> 00:21:59,685
Who taught you
to tell the truth?
512
00:21:59,753 --> 00:22:02,621
Sally: aah!
513
00:22:02,689 --> 00:22:04,356
Stop it!
You're hurting her!
514
00:22:04,424 --> 00:22:06,158
You whore!
Darlene!
515
00:22:06,226 --> 00:22:08,827
You tramp! You slut!
516
00:22:08,895 --> 00:22:13,465
Aah!
Aah! Aah!
517
00:22:13,533 --> 00:22:16,635
Happy Halloween.
518
00:22:16,703 --> 00:22:18,771
Sucker!
Sucker! Sucker!
519
00:22:21,408 --> 00:22:22,841
[everyone laughing]
520
00:22:22,909 --> 00:22:24,677
Shut up, all of you!
521
00:22:24,744 --> 00:22:25,744
You scared the hell
out of me.
522
00:22:25,812 --> 00:22:28,147
Pranks are supposed
to be funny.
523
00:22:28,214 --> 00:22:30,349
I'm sorry, Mrs. Conner.
It was my idea.
524
00:22:30,417 --> 00:22:32,351
I just wanted to be
part of the family.
525
00:22:34,754 --> 00:22:38,490
Oh, well,
then I guess i'm proud of you.
526
00:22:38,558 --> 00:22:39,758
Now, give me that head.
527
00:22:39,826 --> 00:22:41,860
Come on, we'll go
over to jackie's.
528
00:22:48,935 --> 00:22:51,537
[demonic laughter]
529
00:22:59,045 --> 00:23:00,713
oh, yeah
530
00:23:06,286 --> 00:23:08,887
[demonic laughter]
531
00:23:11,925 --> 00:23:13,392
oh, yeah
532
00:23:24,637 --> 00:23:29,174
[demonic laughter]
533
00:23:29,224 --> 00:23:33,774
Repair and Synchronization by
Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0
36372
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.
Afrikaans
Albanian
Amharic
Arabic
Armenian
Azerbaijani
Basque
Belarusian
Bengali
Bosnian
Bulgarian
Catalan
Cebuano
Chichewa
Chinese (Simplified)
Chinese (Traditional)
Corsican
Croatian
Czech
Danish
English
Esperanto
Estonian
Finnish
French
Frisian
Galician
Georgian
German
Greek
Gujarati
Haitian Creole
Hawaiian
Hungarian
Icelandic
Indonesian
Irish
Italian
Japanese
Kazakh
Khmer
Korean
Kurdish (Kurmanji)
Kyrgyz
Lao
Latvian
Lithuanian
Luxembourgish
Macedonian
Malagasy
Malay
Maltese
Maori
Mongolian
Myanmar (Burmese)
Nepali
Norwegian
Pashto
Polish
Portuguese
Romanian
Russian
Samoan
Serbian
Sesotho
Shona
Sinhala
Slovak
Slovenian
Somali
Spanish
Swahili
Swedish
Tajik
Thai
Turkish
Ukrainian
Urdu
Uzbek
Vietnamese
