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1
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'Dear Diary. people have in their
heads a vision
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00:00:11,460 --> 00:00:13,739
'of what the first
time would be like.
3
00:00:13,740 --> 00:00:17,740
'And mine nearly came true.
4
00:00:29,900 --> 00:00:33,819
'It nearly came true twice.
5
00:00:33,820 --> 00:00:36,059
'But I've said it before.
6
00:00:36,060 --> 00:00:39,939
'It's not like it is in the movies.
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00:00:39,940 --> 00:00:43,940
'Movies aren't real.
They're just stories.'
8
00:00:51,940 --> 00:00:53,939
Mia?
9
00:00:53,940 --> 00:00:55,541
Mia!
10
00:01:00,582 --> 00:01:02,741
Morning. Hiya.
11
00:01:02,742 --> 00:01:06,021
Liam, wake up,
you lazy little shit. Jesus.
12
00:01:06,022 --> 00:01:10,022
Don't Jesus me. Listen, Remember
to ring the sparky. OK.
13
00:01:11,302 --> 00:01:15,302
For your Nana.
Whatever. Lazy bugger.
14
00:01:21,662 --> 00:01:25,662
Can I use your bathroom before
I leave? Yeah, go for it.
15
00:01:28,302 --> 00:01:32,302
Did you sleep with your clothes on?
Yes. Me too.
16
00:01:35,902 --> 00:01:39,902
It's pretty cool we're as fucked up
as each other.
17
00:01:41,702 --> 00:01:43,861
Did you enjoy last night?
18
00:01:43,862 --> 00:01:46,781
I know it was your, er, first time.
19
00:01:46,782 --> 00:01:50,782
Totally loved it. Perfect.
20
00:02:05,344 --> 00:02:38,344
21
00:02:42,862 --> 00:02:44,821
'Do you ever wish you could look
back
22
00:02:44,822 --> 00:02:48,822
'and see the exact moment your life
started to fall to pieces?
23
00:02:55,782 --> 00:02:58,421
'The beginning of the end.
24
00:02:58,422 --> 00:03:02,422
'Oh, you have to be kidding!'
25
00:03:03,982 --> 00:03:07,341
What do you think you're doing?
26
00:03:07,342 --> 00:03:11,141
I've got one place on Earth
that I can go and chill out.
27
00:03:11,142 --> 00:03:14,741
One place that is not filled
with your staff or Karim's stuff
28
00:03:14,742 --> 00:03:18,141
or the baby's stuff.
And you've taken that away from me.
29
00:03:18,142 --> 00:03:22,142
I am not sharing my room
with your baby.
30
00:03:22,382 --> 00:03:25,741
We are redecorating so I had to move
your stuff. Yeah, I can see that.
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00:03:25,742 --> 00:03:29,501
I found this.
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00:03:29,502 --> 00:03:32,901
So? It's from your dad.
33
00:03:32,902 --> 00:03:36,902
Isn't it?
34
00:03:42,382 --> 00:03:44,941
You gave me his address,
what did you expect?
35
00:03:44,942 --> 00:03:47,501
I just don't know what you could
possibly want from him,
36
00:03:47,502 --> 00:03:51,502
what he could bring to your life.
He's interested in me.
37
00:03:52,262 --> 00:03:55,301
He buys me amazing presents.
38
00:03:55,302 --> 00:03:59,302
But best of all, he doesn't
talk about babies all the time.
39
00:04:03,502 --> 00:04:06,381
Do you know what? I wish that...
40
00:04:06,382 --> 00:04:10,382
Don't say it. Don't you dare say it.
41
00:04:11,582 --> 00:04:14,541
Why did you have to get pregnant?
42
00:04:14,542 --> 00:04:18,542
You've already messed up one kid's
life. Why do it to another?
43
00:04:19,942 --> 00:04:23,942
Just tell me one thing.
44
00:04:24,102 --> 00:04:28,102
Do you care at all about this baby?
45
00:04:29,902 --> 00:04:33,902
No.
46
00:04:37,262 --> 00:04:39,821
What?
47
00:04:39,822 --> 00:04:43,822
What, are you going to slap me
again?
48
00:04:55,142 --> 00:04:57,301
'All I'd wanted for months
49
00:04:57,302 --> 00:05:00,861
'was to fit into college, to have a
normal life.
50
00:05:00,862 --> 00:05:04,101
'I was no longer just a big
girl in first year.
51
00:05:04,102 --> 00:05:08,101
'I was the girl who had the panic
attack on stage.
52
00:05:08,102 --> 00:05:12,102
'I was the crazy girl.'
53
00:05:13,742 --> 00:05:17,381
So? I thought you was mental
when you set the alarm off.
54
00:05:17,382 --> 00:05:21,061
Freaking out on stage takes it
to a different level.
55
00:05:21,062 --> 00:05:24,821
Everyone thinks you're a psycho,
you know?
56
00:05:24,822 --> 00:05:28,221
You are not the only one
everyone's talking about, though,
57
00:05:28,222 --> 00:05:30,861
Where is that slag you call a best
mate?
58
00:05:30,862 --> 00:05:33,341
You can say whatever you
want about me,
59
00:05:33,342 --> 00:05:36,981
but do you ever say anything about
Chloe. Ever.
60
00:05:36,982 --> 00:05:40,982
You better get off her. Little
bitch. Are we clear? Rachel!
61
00:05:48,700 --> 00:05:52,700
Do you want to tell me what's going
on? I give you a warning.
62
00:05:54,460 --> 00:05:58,460
I give you a final warning. There is
no final final morning, Rae.
63
00:05:58,400 --> 00:06:01,159
Well, you don't have to kick me out.
64
00:06:01,160 --> 00:06:03,559
I can't do it. I'm leaving.
65
00:06:03,560 --> 00:06:05,199
I'm not going to let you do that.
66
00:06:05,200 --> 00:06:07,639
Why? You just said you were going
to kick me out.
67
00:06:07,640 --> 00:06:10,879
Rae, you are one of the cleverest
students in this entire college.
68
00:06:10,880 --> 00:06:14,399
Don't throw that all away because of
a bunch of bullies and knobheads.
69
00:06:14,400 --> 00:06:15,879
We'll fix it.
70
00:06:15,880 --> 00:06:19,880
Haven't you heard? I'm crazy.
71
00:06:20,920 --> 00:06:22,799
And no-one can fix that.
72
00:06:22,800 --> 00:06:25,999
Thanks
for all the chances you've given me.
73
00:06:26,000 --> 00:06:30,000
And I'm so sorry if I let you down.
74
00:06:38,400 --> 00:06:42,239
'That's the thing about Rae Earl,
she will let you down.
75
00:06:42,240 --> 00:06:45,879
'Everything she comes into contact
with will fall apart.
76
00:06:45,880 --> 00:06:49,319
'Touched by the darkness of her
disease.
77
00:06:49,320 --> 00:06:53,320
Her bright future. Her gang of
friends. Her family.
78
00:06:56,680 --> 00:07:00,680
'Even her best friend.
79
00:07:01,600 --> 00:07:05,600
'Maybe I keep finding myself on my
own because no-one wants me around.
80
00:07:07,960 --> 00:07:11,960
'Maybe it's
because they know I'm mental.'
81
00:07:16,360 --> 00:07:18,119
All right, everyone?
82
00:07:18,120 --> 00:07:22,120
I just wanted to start by saying that
Danny is about to go home.
83
00:07:26,360 --> 00:07:28,039
Thanks, everyone.
84
00:07:28,040 --> 00:07:32,040
I thought I'd be
a bit more excited about today.
85
00:07:35,760 --> 00:07:39,760
I-I can't remember what it's like,
as such, outside.
86
00:07:42,040 --> 00:07:46,040
I'm just a bit afraid of fitting in.
87
00:07:48,840 --> 00:07:52,599
Of people thinking that I'm weird.
88
00:07:52,600 --> 00:07:56,600
I can be myself in here
and that's fine.
89
00:07:57,040 --> 00:08:01,040
Because there's people
who like the weird bits of me.
90
00:08:02,080 --> 00:08:06,080
And there's people who can hold
me together when...
91
00:08:06,520 --> 00:08:10,520
..when everything else falls apart.
92
00:08:20,480 --> 00:08:23,799
What's the matter with you? You're
normally the first one out the door.
93
00:08:23,800 --> 00:08:27,800
I've decided to come back.
into hospital.
94
00:08:30,480 --> 00:08:34,480
Please let me come back. You can't
just decide to come back to hospital.
95
00:08:34,880 --> 00:08:37,919
Danny is leaving.
So there's a room free.
96
00:08:37,920 --> 00:08:41,639
That's not how it works, it's not a
hotel, it's a hospital. But I'm sick.
97
00:08:41,640 --> 00:08:44,199
But not by the standards of this
hospital, you're not.
98
00:08:44,200 --> 00:08:46,279
The people who come and stay here
99
00:08:46,280 --> 00:08:48,839
are either a danger to themselves
or to others.
100
00:08:48,840 --> 00:08:50,479
You're neither of those things.
101
00:08:50,480 --> 00:08:52,039
You've stopped hurting yourself.
102
00:08:52,040 --> 00:08:56,040
You haven't hurt yourself for
months.
103
00:08:56,360 --> 00:09:00,360
What's happened? No, I don't want to
talk about it with you.
104
00:09:03,080 --> 00:09:07,080
Therapy, it doesn't work.
105
00:09:07,680 --> 00:09:11,119
I've been coming to you for six
months and nothing's changed.
106
00:09:11,120 --> 00:09:13,999
In my professional opinion,
I think you're wrong.
107
00:09:14,000 --> 00:09:17,439
If nothing had changed,
you'd still be hurting yourself.
108
00:09:17,440 --> 00:09:21,440
People who are broken, they don't
want you to be professional.
109
00:09:22,200 --> 00:09:26,200
They just want you to be real.
110
00:09:34,320 --> 00:09:37,439
'Dear Diary. Is this how it works?
111
00:09:37,440 --> 00:09:39,519
'Aren't you allowed back into
hospital
112
00:09:39,520 --> 00:09:41,319
'unless you do something extreme?
113
00:09:41,320 --> 00:09:43,439
'Do you have to show you're broken
on the inside
114
00:09:43,440 --> 00:09:46,320
'by breaking yourself on the
outside?'
115
00:10:01,280 --> 00:10:05,280
'How's it going? I wanted to write
you a letter to say hi.
116
00:10:07,160 --> 00:10:11,160
'And also to say sorry about leaving
like I did. I miss you already.
117
00:10:13,000 --> 00:10:17,000
'You are world-class. I mean that.
118
00:10:18,000 --> 00:10:22,000
'Our group of friends was nothing
until you sprayed Rae all over it.
119
00:10:22,320 --> 00:10:25,039
'Look after them all. You're the one
they always look to.
120
00:10:25,040 --> 00:10:27,559
'You're the glue.
121
00:10:27,560 --> 00:10:31,560
'So no pressure. Laters. Finn.
122
00:10:32,960 --> 00:10:36,199
'Don't let Chop do his running
elephant joke any more.
123
00:10:36,200 --> 00:10:40,200
'It's not as funny as he thinks it
is.'
124
00:10:48,680 --> 00:10:52,679
'What was the point in ringing
Finn? He was gone now.
125
00:10:52,680 --> 00:10:56,680
'What would I even say?
What if he was right, though?
126
00:10:57,640 --> 00:11:00,079
'What if I was the glue?
127
00:11:00,080 --> 00:11:02,439
'What if, because I'm the one
that broke at all,
128
00:11:02,440 --> 00:11:05,839
'I'm the one that can fix it?
129
00:11:05,840 --> 00:11:09,719
'The problem is that when everything
is in a million little pieces,
130
00:11:09,720 --> 00:11:13,720
'it's hard to know what to try
and fix first.
131
00:11:14,040 --> 00:11:18,040
'I guess I had to begin with the
hardest thing of all.'
132
00:11:18,880 --> 00:11:20,279
Hi, Mr Gemell.
133
00:11:20,280 --> 00:11:23,719
Is it all right if I speak to Chloe?
I need to apologise to her.
134
00:11:23,720 --> 00:11:27,559
Chloe's not here,
she's still missing. She's not back?
135
00:11:27,560 --> 00:11:30,219
We don't know what to do.
136
00:11:33,368 --> 00:11:35,088
We've talked to the police.
137
00:11:35,170 --> 00:11:36,889
She's never been
missing for this long,
138
00:11:36,890 --> 00:11:40,049
so they've finally taken seriously.
139
00:11:40,050 --> 00:11:43,769
They're going to want to talk to
you and your friends at some point.
140
00:11:43,770 --> 00:11:47,329
We've talked to this Ian person.
Yeah.
141
00:11:47,330 --> 00:11:51,330
But he said he doesn't know where
she is. Nobody knows where she is.
142
00:11:55,290 --> 00:11:59,290
This is Chloe's diary.
I don't know if it will help.
143
00:12:00,370 --> 00:12:04,369
I took it the other day.
Why did you take it?
144
00:12:04,370 --> 00:12:07,209
I don't know.
145
00:12:07,210 --> 00:12:10,849
I wanted to find out why she'd been
behaving the way she had.
146
00:12:10,850 --> 00:12:13,249
I wasn't thinking.
147
00:12:13,250 --> 00:12:17,250
I'm too wrapped up in my own stuff.
148
00:12:17,330 --> 00:12:21,330
I haven't been a very
good friend to her.
149
00:12:23,730 --> 00:12:27,730
Neither have I.
150
00:12:27,890 --> 00:12:31,049
'There was no way that Ian didn't
know where Chloe was.
151
00:12:31,050 --> 00:12:32,689
'No way!
152
00:12:32,690 --> 00:12:36,649
'There was also no way
I was going to his house on my own.
153
00:12:36,650 --> 00:12:38,089
'I needed backup.
154
00:12:38,090 --> 00:12:41,169
'I needed to take one of the other
fixes off my list first.
155
00:12:41,170 --> 00:12:43,409
'But the problem was,
Archie was mad at Chop
156
00:12:43,410 --> 00:12:45,969
for not standing up for him in front
of Simmy and Macca.
157
00:12:45,970 --> 00:12:48,769
Izzy was mad at Archie for telling
Chop she'd kissed Peter.
158
00:12:48,770 --> 00:12:51,009
And Chop was mad at Izzy
because she dumped him
159
00:12:51,010 --> 00:12:53,769
and now they all refused to
be in the same room together.
160
00:12:53,770 --> 00:12:55,089
It's the perfect storm.
161
00:12:55,090 --> 00:12:58,849
Well, the perfect shit storm.
162
00:12:58,850 --> 00:13:00,769
Hi, muggins.
163
00:13:00,770 --> 00:13:03,249
Is it true? What?
164
00:13:03,250 --> 00:13:05,089
That you've left college? Yes.
165
00:13:05,090 --> 00:13:06,809
You can't, I won't let you.
166
00:13:06,810 --> 00:13:09,849
I've put up with too much
whingeing from you to let it happen.
167
00:13:09,850 --> 00:13:13,769
Listen, that's not why I asked you
here. Well, why did you?
168
00:13:13,770 --> 00:13:15,089
Rae!
169
00:13:15,090 --> 00:13:17,889
Look, just listen to me for a
second, please. What's going on?
170
00:13:17,890 --> 00:13:20,329
What's he doing here? Er...
What's he doing here?
171
00:13:20,330 --> 00:13:22,009
What's she doing here?
172
00:13:22,010 --> 00:13:23,129
Oh, bollocks!
173
00:13:23,130 --> 00:13:26,010
It would be easier gluing
dog shit to the wind.
174
00:13:27,490 --> 00:13:31,209
Well, at least I got them in one
place. Maybe it wasn't a lost cause.
175
00:13:31,210 --> 00:13:34,249
And if I can fix the gang,
maybe I can fix everything else.
176
00:13:34,250 --> 00:13:37,729
This is your fault, Iz. What is?
Clo going missing.
177
00:13:37,730 --> 00:13:40,529
How is it my fault? Don't take
a genius to work it out, does it?
178
00:13:40,530 --> 00:13:42,729
You cheating on me,
that made things awkward.
179
00:13:42,730 --> 00:13:45,449
If you hadn't have done that, me
and you would still be together,
180
00:13:45,450 --> 00:13:46,889
the gang would still be together
181
00:13:46,890 --> 00:13:48,969
and we would have seen
that Chloe was in the shit.
182
00:13:48,970 --> 00:13:50,449
But I didn't even want to kiss him!
183
00:13:50,450 --> 00:13:52,769
I didn't fancy him.
It was a mistake.
184
00:13:52,770 --> 00:13:56,089
Well, why did you kiss him then?
185
00:13:56,090 --> 00:13:58,369
See. You still can't tell me.
186
00:13:58,370 --> 00:13:59,889
Yeah, but it isn't my fault.
187
00:13:59,890 --> 00:14:01,929
If Archie hadn't told you
about me and Peter...
188
00:14:01,930 --> 00:14:03,249
Whoa, whoa, whoa!
189
00:14:03,250 --> 00:14:04,969
I didn't make you kiss the guy,
did I?
190
00:14:04,970 --> 00:14:06,689
If it's anyone's fault it's Chop's.
191
00:14:06,690 --> 00:14:10,329
What? Because I tell you for free
whose fault it isn't. Uncle Archie's.
192
00:14:10,330 --> 00:14:13,169
Archie, I told you to stop calling
yourself that. How can it be mine?
193
00:14:13,170 --> 00:14:17,170
You're all making it seem like me,
the one who's done... Guys, guys!
194
00:14:17,210 --> 00:14:21,210
Stop it. Please, just stop it.
195
00:14:21,290 --> 00:14:24,289
It's everyone's fault.
196
00:14:24,290 --> 00:14:27,889
Mainly Izzy's. I beg your pardon?
197
00:14:27,890 --> 00:14:30,969
You know what, Chop,
I'll tell you why I kissed Peter.
198
00:14:30,970 --> 00:14:34,889
Because I was upset and disappointed
with you for what you did to Archie.
199
00:14:34,890 --> 00:14:37,849
You let them boys kick him
off the football team and call him
200
00:14:37,850 --> 00:14:41,129
horrible names and be mean to him.
Yeah? What those boys done.
201
00:14:41,130 --> 00:14:45,130
I didn't do it.
Yeah, you didn't DO anything.
202
00:14:45,290 --> 00:14:47,929
Bad shit happens
when good people do nothing.
203
00:14:47,930 --> 00:14:50,569
This is some fresh bullshit.
Let me out of the car. What?
204
00:14:50,570 --> 00:14:52,809
Let me out the car!
205
00:14:52,810 --> 00:14:54,530
Stop it! Guys, stop it!
206
00:14:58,370 --> 00:15:00,729
Maybe I couldn't fix the gang.
207
00:15:00,730 --> 00:15:02,969
Maybe they were broken forever.
208
00:15:02,970 --> 00:15:06,970
But so long as there was a shot
at helping Chloe, I had to take it.
209
00:15:07,090 --> 00:15:08,530
Even if it was on my own.
210
00:15:22,130 --> 00:15:24,609
What do you want? Is Chloe here?
211
00:15:24,610 --> 00:15:25,890
No.
212
00:15:28,210 --> 00:15:31,529
Can I use your toilet?
No, you can't.
213
00:15:31,530 --> 00:15:33,609
Don't be a dickhead,
I know where it is.
214
00:15:33,610 --> 00:15:36,449
I was always surprised why Chloe
was friends with you.
215
00:15:36,450 --> 00:15:40,409
She's beautiful, you're minging.
OK...
216
00:15:40,410 --> 00:15:42,489
I just want to see my best mate,
please.
217
00:15:42,490 --> 00:15:43,889
We only let you hang out with us
218
00:15:43,890 --> 00:15:46,609
because Chloe told us
you were funny and clever.
219
00:15:46,610 --> 00:15:49,129
That's what they always
say about fat girls, isn't it?
220
00:15:49,130 --> 00:15:53,130
Got great personality. You haven't.
221
00:15:53,930 --> 00:15:56,129
Chloe?
222
00:15:56,130 --> 00:15:59,169
Have you ever stopped to think
why Chloe hasn't been in touch?
223
00:15:59,170 --> 00:16:02,089
Because she doesn't want you around
her. No-one wants you around...
224
00:16:02,090 --> 00:16:04,609
No-one wants you around...
225
00:16:04,610 --> 00:16:07,849
No-one wants you around.
226
00:16:07,850 --> 00:16:11,850
Go on, then. Fuck off.
227
00:16:18,610 --> 00:16:20,249
Ian was right.
228
00:16:20,250 --> 00:16:23,609
No one wants me around here
because I don't fix things,
229
00:16:23,610 --> 00:16:27,609
I only break them.
But I know a place where they do.
230
00:16:27,610 --> 00:16:31,610
Where people understand me.
Like Tix understood me.
231
00:16:31,970 --> 00:16:35,169
And I know how to make them
take me back.
232
00:16:35,170 --> 00:16:37,169
Just a little cut.
233
00:16:37,170 --> 00:16:39,009
Not like last time.
234
00:16:39,010 --> 00:16:43,010
Just a few little cuts.
235
00:16:50,650 --> 00:16:53,010
Mum?
236
00:17:03,010 --> 00:17:07,010
Mum?
237
00:17:11,890 --> 00:17:14,569
Mum?
238
00:17:14,570 --> 00:17:18,570
Mum!
239
00:17:26,130 --> 00:17:29,089
Mum? Oh, no!
240
00:17:29,090 --> 00:17:31,049
Rae, it's the baby.
241
00:17:31,050 --> 00:17:34,449
I need you to help me, darling. No.
242
00:17:34,450 --> 00:17:38,329
No, mum, I'm not strong enough,
I can't. You can, darling.
243
00:17:38,330 --> 00:17:40,769
Everything is going to be fine.
244
00:17:40,770 --> 00:17:42,369
I promise.
245
00:17:42,370 --> 00:17:46,370
Now go and get me some towels.
OK, OK.
246
00:17:53,090 --> 00:17:56,929
Good girl. Ring me an ambulance.
247
00:17:56,930 --> 00:17:59,409
OK, please.
248
00:17:59,410 --> 00:18:02,689
OK, OK!
249
00:18:02,690 --> 00:18:06,690
Doctor, I've
got the notes you needed before...
250
00:18:10,770 --> 00:18:12,730
I'm sorry, you can't
come any further.
251
00:18:27,000 --> 00:18:31,000
They haven't said anything.
252
00:18:43,600 --> 00:18:47,559
You go for sleep, yes?
253
00:18:47,560 --> 00:18:51,560
I ring. If they say, I ring. Cool.
254
00:19:24,080 --> 00:19:26,159
'Look after them all.
255
00:19:26,160 --> 00:19:30,160
'You're the one they always look to,
you're the glue, so no pressure.
256
00:19:31,400 --> 00:19:35,400
'Laters, Finn.'
257
00:19:46,920 --> 00:19:50,519
There are times when I can't stop
speaking, when a million words
258
00:19:50,520 --> 00:19:52,839
leave my mouth in a
matter of seconds,
259
00:19:52,840 --> 00:19:54,440
a million words that mean nothing.
260
00:19:58,120 --> 00:20:01,199
Hello?
261
00:20:01,200 --> 00:20:05,200
Hello?
262
00:20:06,200 --> 00:20:08,799
But when I want to find some words
that mean everything,
263
00:20:08,800 --> 00:20:11,639
I just can't speak.
264
00:20:11,640 --> 00:20:15,479
Like "I miss you," like "I love you,"
265
00:20:15,480 --> 00:20:18,840
like, "My world is falling apart
and I need you by my side."
266
00:20:22,200 --> 00:20:23,799
Hello?
267
00:20:23,800 --> 00:20:27,800
'Good morning, Rae. It's Kester.
I just wanted to ring
268
00:20:28,000 --> 00:20:32,000
'to say I would love you
to come in today for a session.'
269
00:20:32,800 --> 00:20:36,800
Yeah.
270
00:20:42,560 --> 00:20:45,879
You must be tired.
271
00:20:45,880 --> 00:20:49,880
Yeah. Well, I didn't want to go to
sleep in case the hospital rang.
272
00:20:52,280 --> 00:20:56,280
I wanted to apologise for losing
my temper with Liam the other day
273
00:20:56,560 --> 00:21:00,560
and for not setting a good example,
boundaries-wise.
274
00:21:00,800 --> 00:21:04,719
I shouldn't have come
round to your house.
275
00:21:04,720 --> 00:21:08,679
I was angry because
I was embarrassed about it.
276
00:21:08,680 --> 00:21:12,479
Yeah, well, I shouldn't
have lost my temper.
277
00:21:12,480 --> 00:21:16,480
I only did it because I care
about you, about all of you.
278
00:21:18,600 --> 00:21:22,600
I guess from now on we'll just
establish the boundaries as we go.
279
00:21:27,960 --> 00:21:30,199
I'm a horrible person, Kester.
280
00:21:30,200 --> 00:21:34,200
Why would you say that?
281
00:21:35,080 --> 00:21:39,080
My mum asked me if I
cared about the new baby.
282
00:21:40,760 --> 00:21:44,119
And I said no.
283
00:21:44,120 --> 00:21:46,799
And the frightening thing is...
284
00:21:46,800 --> 00:21:50,439
is that I meant it.
285
00:21:50,440 --> 00:21:54,440
I don't care.
286
00:21:54,560 --> 00:21:57,199
Everywhere I go I seem to
break things.
287
00:21:57,200 --> 00:22:01,200
And the more I try to fix them,
the more I make it worse.
288
00:22:02,720 --> 00:22:06,559
It's not just my mum,
it's my friends, it's Chloe.
289
00:22:06,560 --> 00:22:10,279
Because you can't fix other people
until you've fixed yourself.
290
00:22:10,280 --> 00:22:14,280
But I can't be fixed.
Because I'm crazy.
291
00:22:15,400 --> 00:22:19,399
You're not crazy.
292
00:22:19,400 --> 00:22:22,959
If you want to be a nicer
person to other people,
293
00:22:22,960 --> 00:22:25,599
that's where it starts.
294
00:22:25,600 --> 00:22:27,679
I've tried being nice to myself.
295
00:22:27,680 --> 00:22:29,679
Have you?
296
00:22:29,680 --> 00:22:33,119
Because you've just been telling me
what a horrible person you are.
297
00:22:33,120 --> 00:22:36,519
You're just using whatever's
happening with Chloe
298
00:22:36,520 --> 00:22:40,399
or your mum as another
reason to hate yourself.
299
00:22:40,400 --> 00:22:43,879
Every session, you say
that I need to love myself,
300
00:22:43,880 --> 00:22:47,399
I need to start liking
myself more. For months now.
301
00:22:47,400 --> 00:22:49,799
You're like a broken record.
302
00:22:49,800 --> 00:22:53,800
But you never tell me how to start
or when to start or where to start.
303
00:22:54,200 --> 00:22:57,959
All right, we'll start now then.
304
00:22:57,960 --> 00:23:00,239
Not tonight, not tomorrow,
not after this cup of tea,
305
00:23:00,240 --> 00:23:04,240
we'll start right now.
306
00:23:06,160 --> 00:23:08,319
Close your eyes.
307
00:23:08,320 --> 00:23:12,320
Close your eyes.
308
00:23:12,640 --> 00:23:16,279
Now I want you to tell me
what you don't like about yourself
309
00:23:16,280 --> 00:23:18,639
but be honest with me.
Don't be clever,
310
00:23:18,640 --> 00:23:22,640
don't be angry. Be honest.
311
00:23:23,720 --> 00:23:27,439
I'm fat.
312
00:23:27,440 --> 00:23:30,599
And I'm ugly.
313
00:23:30,600 --> 00:23:32,439
And I ruin things.
314
00:23:32,440 --> 00:23:36,440
Try and find some sense
of how long you've felt that way.
315
00:23:37,760 --> 00:23:41,760
I don't know.
Since I was about nine or ten.
316
00:23:42,240 --> 00:23:46,240
So this is an opinion you formed
a long time ago about yourself.
317
00:23:47,400 --> 00:23:51,079
Open your eyes.
318
00:23:51,080 --> 00:23:55,080
I want you to imagine a
ten-year-old version of yourself
319
00:23:55,800 --> 00:23:58,719
sitting right there on this coach.
320
00:23:58,720 --> 00:24:01,959
Now this is the little girl who
first believed that she was fat
321
00:24:01,960 --> 00:24:04,519
and ugly and an embarrassment.
322
00:24:04,520 --> 00:24:08,520
I want you to imagine her
sitting there right now.
323
00:24:11,720 --> 00:24:15,720
Now tell that little girl she's
fat. I'm not going to do that.
324
00:24:16,240 --> 00:24:18,919
Tell that little girl she's ugly.
I don't want to.
325
00:24:18,920 --> 00:24:22,799
Tell that little girl she's
an embarrassment and worthless
326
00:24:22,800 --> 00:24:24,799
and useless.
327
00:24:24,800 --> 00:24:26,799
Because that's what you
do every single day
328
00:24:26,800 --> 00:24:28,719
when you say that to yourself.
329
00:24:28,720 --> 00:24:31,399
When you convince yourself
that you're an embarrassment
330
00:24:31,400 --> 00:24:34,599
and a burden. Well,
don't you think she's ugly?
331
00:24:34,600 --> 00:24:37,159
No. No? Or fat? No.
332
00:24:37,160 --> 00:24:41,039
No? Or an embarrassment?
Or horrible or worthless?
333
00:24:41,040 --> 00:24:45,040
Just stop it! No!
334
00:24:47,360 --> 00:24:51,360
Right? No.
335
00:24:58,480 --> 00:25:02,480
Want do you want to say
to that little girl?
336
00:25:03,040 --> 00:25:06,839
If she said to you that's
how she felt about herself,
337
00:25:06,840 --> 00:25:10,639
what would you tell her?
338
00:25:10,640 --> 00:25:14,640
That she's fine.
339
00:25:14,880 --> 00:25:17,359
That she's perfect.
340
00:25:17,360 --> 00:25:20,719
Then that's what you
need to tell yourself.
341
00:25:20,720 --> 00:25:24,720
Every time you feel that
panic, that anxiety...
342
00:25:26,800 --> 00:25:30,800
..you need to soothe yourself like
you would soothe the little girl.
343
00:25:32,640 --> 00:25:34,959
Yeah?
344
00:25:34,960 --> 00:25:36,799
Yeah.
345
00:25:36,800 --> 00:25:40,800
You need to tell yourself that
everything's going to be OK.
346
00:25:41,640 --> 00:25:45,640
If you commit to that,
347
00:25:46,480 --> 00:25:50,480
then I promise you you'll
be able to face anything.
348
00:25:52,880 --> 00:25:56,880
And it starts right now.
349
00:25:58,760 --> 00:26:02,760
Everything starts right now.
350
00:26:06,520 --> 00:26:08,599
Do you ever wish you could look back
351
00:26:08,600 --> 00:26:11,679
and see the exact moment your life
started to come together?
352
00:26:11,680 --> 00:26:13,839
The end of the beginning,
353
00:26:13,840 --> 00:26:17,840
the moment you knew everything
was about to change?
354
00:26:21,200 --> 00:26:24,999
Is there any news?
She's out of danger.
355
00:26:25,000 --> 00:26:26,959
Has she said anything?
356
00:26:26,960 --> 00:26:29,519
No, I mean your sister. My sister?
357
00:26:29,520 --> 00:26:33,520
Yeah. She's in intensive care.
358
00:26:33,800 --> 00:26:36,119
Is she going to be OK?
359
00:26:36,120 --> 00:26:40,120
We just need to wait and see what
happens in the next few hours.
360
00:26:40,680 --> 00:26:43,839
What about my mum?
It's too early to say.
361
00:26:43,840 --> 00:26:47,840
We're doing everything
we can for her.
362
00:27:24,240 --> 00:27:25,639
Thanks.
363
00:27:25,640 --> 00:27:28,920
That's all right.
364
00:27:31,000 --> 00:27:34,079
I'm a sister.
365
00:27:34,080 --> 00:27:37,839
I'm actually someone's
big sister.
366
00:27:37,840 --> 00:27:41,840
Nice. I think you'll make
a pretty good big sister.
367
00:27:42,680 --> 00:27:43,719
Yeah?
368
00:27:43,720 --> 00:27:44,999
Yeah.
369
00:27:45,000 --> 00:27:46,879
You don't think I'll be annoying?
370
00:27:46,880 --> 00:27:48,959
I didn't say that.
371
00:27:48,960 --> 00:27:52,960
Right.
372
00:27:56,600 --> 00:28:00,600
If you need a lift here after
college, then I can take you.
373
00:28:01,560 --> 00:28:05,560
I've got a lot of free
time on my hands.
374
00:28:07,320 --> 00:28:11,320
I've decided that being
a scaffolder in Leeds
375
00:28:11,880 --> 00:28:15,880
wasn't exactly the dream
I thought it'd be.
376
00:28:17,760 --> 00:28:20,359
Thanks, but...
377
00:28:20,360 --> 00:28:24,360
It's all right.
I'm not going to college any more.
378
00:28:25,880 --> 00:28:29,239
Why would you leave?
379
00:28:29,240 --> 00:28:33,240
Everyone there knows that I'm crazy.
You guys know me. You understand me.
380
00:28:36,320 --> 00:28:39,319
Not everyone's like that, Finn.
381
00:28:39,320 --> 00:28:43,159
Yet, but everyone's crazy.
382
00:28:43,160 --> 00:28:47,160
Everyone has to struggle and fight,
they just haven't realised it yet.
383
00:28:49,000 --> 00:28:53,000
At least you have.
384
00:28:54,640 --> 00:28:58,640
Once upon a time, in a disabled
toilet far, far away...
385
00:29:01,280 --> 00:29:05,280
..you asked me why I liked you.
Remember?
386
00:29:05,360 --> 00:29:08,719
Yeah, I remember.
387
00:29:08,720 --> 00:29:11,839
It's because you're strong.
388
00:29:11,840 --> 00:29:15,840
You just haven't realised it yet.
389
00:29:16,400 --> 00:29:20,400
Rachel, you can see your
sister now, if you like.
390
00:29:26,320 --> 00:29:28,279
I'm your big sister.
391
00:29:28,280 --> 00:29:32,280
I'm going to look after you and love
you and make sure you're all right.
392
00:29:37,520 --> 00:29:40,879
You're perfect.
393
00:29:40,880 --> 00:29:44,880
You are perfect.
394
00:29:44,960 --> 00:29:48,960
You can be strong.
You can be strong.
395
00:29:49,000 --> 00:29:53,000
You CAN be strong.
396
00:29:53,600 --> 00:29:57,600
What do you want?
397
00:29:57,800 --> 00:29:59,719
I want you to tell me where Chloe is.
398
00:29:59,720 --> 00:30:01,399
Why should I?
399
00:30:01,400 --> 00:30:02,959
Because I want to know she's OK.
400
00:30:02,960 --> 00:30:05,639
Why don't you just go away
and stop bothering people?
401
00:30:05,640 --> 00:30:07,199
Who's that?
402
00:30:07,200 --> 00:30:11,200
Visitor for you, mate.
403
00:30:12,720 --> 00:30:14,719
What the fuck are you doing here?
404
00:30:14,720 --> 00:30:17,879
She says she's looking for Chloe
but I think she's come for you, lad.
405
00:30:17,880 --> 00:30:20,799
Yeah, Chloe told me
why you won't sleep with me.
406
00:30:20,800 --> 00:30:24,800
She said that you've got a problem
with taking your clothes off and that. It doesn't surprise me.
407
00:30:25,400 --> 00:30:28,839
If I looked like you,
I'd probably feel exactly the same.
408
00:30:28,840 --> 00:30:32,319
Weird, Chloe can't keep her clothes
on but you can't take them off.
409
00:30:32,320 --> 00:30:35,199
It'd have been a pity fuck
as well, you know?
410
00:30:35,200 --> 00:30:38,159
Like any fuck
she'll ever have. Right?
411
00:30:38,160 --> 00:30:39,439
I was pissed.
412
00:30:39,440 --> 00:30:43,440
'If I looked like you,
I'd probably feel exactly the same.'
413
00:30:54,440 --> 00:30:58,440
You're perfect. You are perfect.
414
00:30:58,920 --> 00:31:01,479
Everything is going to be OK.
415
00:31:01,480 --> 00:31:04,519
Listen, Rae...
416
00:31:04,520 --> 00:31:07,679
It's time you do one.
417
00:31:07,680 --> 00:31:09,599
No.
418
00:31:09,600 --> 00:31:13,600
I'm looking for Chloe.
Are you going to move or what?
419
00:31:16,760 --> 00:31:20,760
Chloe?
420
00:31:24,560 --> 00:31:28,560
Oh, Chloe. Thank God.
421
00:31:31,400 --> 00:31:35,400
What are you doing here, Rae?
I've come to take you home.
422
00:31:35,560 --> 00:31:38,239
Everyone's really worried
about you. I'm fine.
423
00:31:38,240 --> 00:31:42,240
No-one's hurt me.
424
00:31:43,280 --> 00:31:47,280
You shouldn't be going out with
Ian, Clo. He's not a nice person.
425
00:31:48,640 --> 00:31:52,399
Going out?
426
00:31:52,400 --> 00:31:56,159
We're not going out. We're fucking,
427
00:31:56,160 --> 00:32:00,160
having fun, getting wasted.
428
00:32:00,880 --> 00:32:03,879
And we can do that and
still sleep with whoever we want
429
00:32:03,880 --> 00:32:07,399
because we're adults.
430
00:32:07,400 --> 00:32:11,400
I fooled around with Ben
the other night, so what?
431
00:32:12,360 --> 00:32:16,360
You wouldn't get it
because you're not a part of it.
432
00:32:18,200 --> 00:32:22,200
And I know what you're thinking.
433
00:32:22,800 --> 00:32:25,919
You think they're taking
advantage of me.
434
00:32:25,920 --> 00:32:28,239
But they aren't.
435
00:32:28,240 --> 00:32:31,279
They like me.
436
00:32:31,280 --> 00:32:33,959
You know, and I'm the one
taking advantage.
437
00:32:33,960 --> 00:32:36,759
I'm the one with the power, me.
438
00:32:36,760 --> 00:32:40,760
So what is it that you think
they like about you, then, Clo?
439
00:32:41,680 --> 00:32:44,759
I didn't say like, I said want.
You said like.
440
00:32:44,760 --> 00:32:48,760
Well, what's the difference?
441
00:32:49,760 --> 00:32:53,760
Do you have any idea how
good it feels when someone,
442
00:32:54,440 --> 00:32:58,199
someone literally can't
keep their hands off you
443
00:32:58,200 --> 00:33:02,200
and they grab you
like they're crazy?
444
00:33:02,320 --> 00:33:04,679
You think I'm a bad person,
I can see that.
445
00:33:04,680 --> 00:33:06,039
No, I don't think that.
446
00:33:06,040 --> 00:33:08,679
No, you think I'm a stupid slag!
447
00:33:08,680 --> 00:33:10,839
Well, so what?!
448
00:33:10,840 --> 00:33:14,559
It's my body and I can
do what I want with it.
449
00:33:14,560 --> 00:33:18,159
Do you understand that?
I do understand.
450
00:33:18,160 --> 00:33:22,160
Clo, I do, I do understand. I do.
451
00:33:25,760 --> 00:33:29,760
Chloe, please let me
get you out of here.
452
00:33:30,640 --> 00:33:34,640
I'm scared. I know.
But it'll be all right.
453
00:33:37,800 --> 00:33:41,343
OK, everything will be all right.
I promise.
454
00:33:50,500 --> 00:33:53,700
Here you go. It's
your favourite mug.
455
00:33:56,940 --> 00:33:59,500
Is your mum going to be all right?
456
00:33:59,604 --> 00:34:03,604
I don't know.
457
00:34:04,124 --> 00:34:08,124
Can I get you anything else? No.
458
00:34:08,924 --> 00:34:12,924
Rae... I'm scared about
telling my parents everything.
459
00:34:16,044 --> 00:34:20,044
I'm scared about Ian coming
to find me. Hey, don't be.
460
00:34:20,324 --> 00:34:23,603
OK, we'll sort it out.
461
00:34:23,604 --> 00:34:27,604
We'll sort everything out.
462
00:34:30,404 --> 00:34:34,123
Chloe...
463
00:34:34,124 --> 00:34:37,163
I found your diary in your room.
464
00:34:37,164 --> 00:34:39,963
I read it.
465
00:34:39,964 --> 00:34:43,964
I let you down.
466
00:34:44,204 --> 00:34:48,204
I'm so sorry that I let you down.
467
00:34:49,484 --> 00:34:51,483
So, you know about Finn?
468
00:34:51,484 --> 00:34:54,163
Yeah.
469
00:34:54,164 --> 00:34:56,963
I didn't fall in love
with him on purpose.
470
00:34:56,964 --> 00:34:58,723
I know...
471
00:34:58,724 --> 00:35:02,724
I'm not meant for a Finn.
472
00:35:02,844 --> 00:35:06,844
I'm meant for a Ian. Oh,
Chloe, of course you're not.
473
00:35:07,524 --> 00:35:11,524
You need to start being
kinder to yourself.
474
00:35:11,844 --> 00:35:15,844
You need to... you need
to soothe yourself.
475
00:35:18,204 --> 00:35:20,243
Say, "OK, Rae."
476
00:35:20,244 --> 00:35:21,683
OK, Rae.
477
00:35:21,684 --> 00:35:23,003
"OK, Rae!"
478
00:35:23,004 --> 00:35:27,003
OK, Rae!
479
00:35:27,004 --> 00:35:30,723
God!
480
00:35:30,724 --> 00:35:33,843
Oh, what's everyone
in college saying?
481
00:35:33,844 --> 00:35:37,083
They are saying that you're a slut.
482
00:35:37,084 --> 00:35:41,084
Nice. And I'm mental... oh.
483
00:35:43,564 --> 00:35:47,564
Do you know, I don't even
care what they think of me.
484
00:35:48,444 --> 00:35:52,083
I just care what you think of me.
485
00:35:52,084 --> 00:35:56,084
Well, I think... that
you're my best mate...
486
00:35:59,804 --> 00:36:02,643
..and I think you're amazing!
487
00:36:02,644 --> 00:36:03,964
Stop it.
488
00:36:15,204 --> 00:36:19,204
Oh, baby! Oh, baby, you
know it's OK, it's OK.
489
00:36:20,564 --> 00:36:22,403
Are you all right?
490
00:36:22,404 --> 00:36:25,803
Mmmm, yeah, I'm stable... apparently.
491
00:36:25,804 --> 00:36:29,804
First time in my life anyone's
ever said that about me.
492
00:36:30,764 --> 00:36:33,923
Hey, I'm sorry we fell out.
493
00:36:33,924 --> 00:36:36,883
When I was lying there on the
bathroom floor, I remember
494
00:36:36,884 --> 00:36:40,563
thinking how bad it would be if...
495
00:36:40,564 --> 00:36:44,564
Well, you know, if... the last
thing we did was have an argument
496
00:36:44,924 --> 00:36:46,883
and that was how you remembered us.
497
00:36:46,884 --> 00:36:49,043
No, don't be stupid.
498
00:36:49,044 --> 00:36:53,044
I was just angry about
you seeing your dad.
499
00:36:53,604 --> 00:36:57,604
I was selfish, it's just because
I don't think he's a nice person.
500
00:36:58,444 --> 00:37:02,444
You should have the opportunity
to form your own opinions.
501
00:37:02,764 --> 00:37:06,764
Mum, how did you know it was him
502
00:37:07,164 --> 00:37:09,163
that gave me that record player?
503
00:37:09,164 --> 00:37:12,323
Oh, I don't know.
504
00:37:12,324 --> 00:37:15,763
Mum?
505
00:37:15,764 --> 00:37:18,763
It's the same record
player he gave me,
506
00:37:18,764 --> 00:37:22,283
for our anniversary, 20 years ago.
507
00:37:22,284 --> 00:37:25,643
I didn't want to tell you.
508
00:37:25,644 --> 00:37:28,003
Why would he do that?
509
00:37:28,004 --> 00:37:30,403
I honestly don't know.
510
00:37:30,404 --> 00:37:34,404
Maybe he just forgot.
511
00:37:34,724 --> 00:37:38,163
Anyway, I've got a
favour to ask you.
512
00:37:38,164 --> 00:37:40,923
I've not seen the baby yet.
513
00:37:40,924 --> 00:37:43,323
Will you describe her to me.
514
00:37:43,324 --> 00:37:47,324
Mum, she's so cute... her fingers and
toes are like little Rice Krispies.
515
00:37:48,164 --> 00:37:50,563
She's the most beautiful
baby in the whole world
516
00:37:50,564 --> 00:37:54,564
and she yawns like
a little lion cub...
517
00:38:02,404 --> 00:38:05,523
There's a part in all of us
that's scared and not sure.
518
00:38:05,524 --> 00:38:08,523
And when you get the ability
to see that in yourself,
519
00:38:08,524 --> 00:38:12,524
you start to see that everyone
is fighting, every day and just
520
00:38:12,684 --> 00:38:16,683
like Finn said, so,
instead of saying,
521
00:38:16,684 --> 00:38:19,163
"You're fat and
you're ugly..."
522
00:38:19,164 --> 00:38:22,563
I'm going to say, "You are the
person who helped your mum out,
523
00:38:22,564 --> 00:38:26,564
"Who saved your best mate who lives
with an illness but keeps on going."
524
00:38:28,204 --> 00:38:31,843
Me... I did all that all that.
525
00:38:31,844 --> 00:38:33,563
That's not to say me
526
00:38:33,564 --> 00:38:37,243
and Chloe weren't scared of going
back to college, we were terrified.
527
00:38:37,244 --> 00:38:41,244
But we had to do it for each other.
528
00:38:42,484 --> 00:38:44,123
Jesus!
529
00:38:44,124 --> 00:38:48,124
Because there's nothing we couldn't
face when we're together.
530
00:38:48,684 --> 00:38:51,363
I thought you were off getting
your brains shagged out by every
531
00:38:51,364 --> 00:38:54,083
man in Stamford.
532
00:38:54,084 --> 00:38:58,084
Don't Rae.
533
00:38:59,204 --> 00:39:03,204
Oh...
534
00:39:05,684 --> 00:39:09,644
See you later Vicky.
535
00:39:15,204 --> 00:39:18,963
Listen, there something I've got
to go an do, are you all right?
536
00:39:18,964 --> 00:39:22,964
Yes, I'll be fine. Are
you going? Yes... go!
537
00:39:27,564 --> 00:39:30,803
So, you've come out of hiding.
538
00:39:30,804 --> 00:39:34,603
So, how about tonight, then?
539
00:39:34,604 --> 00:39:38,604
Listen, Liam, I think we
should just be friends.
540
00:39:41,204 --> 00:39:43,963
I just don't think that
we're good for each other.
541
00:39:43,964 --> 00:39:45,763
Why?
542
00:39:45,764 --> 00:39:47,923
I don't want to be
fucked up any more.
543
00:39:47,924 --> 00:39:51,403
I don't think that there's anything
wrong with being fucked up.
544
00:39:51,404 --> 00:39:55,404
Yeah, you say that... so, you don't
think that people can change?
545
00:40:00,724 --> 00:40:04,724
But I know that they can.
546
00:40:05,964 --> 00:40:09,883
Liam could stay the same and
that's OK but I was changing now
547
00:40:09,884 --> 00:40:12,563
and that meant not turning
up on my dad's doorstep.
548
00:40:12,564 --> 00:40:15,163
It meant, finally, writing
him a letter that said,
549
00:40:15,164 --> 00:40:17,883
"It was nice to meet you
and see you around."
550
00:40:17,884 --> 00:40:21,884
Because the truth was
that I already had a dad.
551
00:40:22,804 --> 00:40:26,003
Hang on, Mum, why are
we going into your room?
552
00:40:26,004 --> 00:40:30,003
Well, that's the thing,
it's not our any more.
553
00:40:30,004 --> 00:40:31,564
It's your room.
554
00:40:33,084 --> 00:40:34,843
What?
555
00:40:34,844 --> 00:40:38,844
No! Oh, my God!
556
00:40:39,804 --> 00:40:41,123
Do you like it?
557
00:40:41,124 --> 00:40:43,803
Yeah! Wait, where are
you going to sleep?
558
00:40:43,804 --> 00:40:45,243
Oh, we'll go in with the baby and
559
00:40:45,244 --> 00:40:47,083
when mini Boushtat
needs her own space,
560
00:40:47,084 --> 00:40:50,083
we'll sort something out. Anyway,
you'll be at uni then, won't you?
561
00:40:50,084 --> 00:40:51,483
Eh, eh, won't you?
562
00:40:51,484 --> 00:40:54,403
Yeah! Yeah!
563
00:40:54,404 --> 00:40:58,363
Hang on... how did you
two afford all this?
564
00:40:58,364 --> 00:41:01,203
Well, why do you think
Karim took a second job?
565
00:41:01,204 --> 00:41:04,163
He's been working nights to
make this whole house look nice,
566
00:41:04,164 --> 00:41:06,363
haven't you Mr Lollypop.
567
00:41:06,364 --> 00:41:08,323
Stop! Cross.
568
00:41:08,324 --> 00:41:09,883
Really?
569
00:41:09,884 --> 00:41:11,883
I like, it's not bad.
570
00:41:11,884 --> 00:41:13,923
No.
571
00:41:13,924 --> 00:41:17,924
Mum, thank you. Karim, thank you.
572
00:41:18,204 --> 00:41:20,323
Oh, baby. I don't know what to say.
573
00:41:20,324 --> 00:41:22,643
You didn't have to
do all this for me.
574
00:41:22,644 --> 00:41:26,644
It's my job number
three, job number three,
575
00:41:27,204 --> 00:41:30,563
taking care of my three ladies.
576
00:41:30,564 --> 00:41:31,963
Yes?
577
00:41:31,964 --> 00:41:35,563
I say wrong? Love, you said perfect!
578
00:41:35,564 --> 00:41:38,963
Anyway, little Boushtat gets
to come home next week,
579
00:41:38,964 --> 00:41:41,123
so, say goodbye to sleep.
580
00:41:41,124 --> 00:41:42,923
You all right with that?
581
00:41:42,924 --> 00:41:45,323
Mum, you joking?
582
00:41:45,324 --> 00:41:47,523
I can't wait!
583
00:41:47,524 --> 00:41:50,763
Everything was slowly
coming back together.
584
00:41:50,764 --> 00:41:54,764
There was just one
thing left to be fixed.
585
00:41:55,484 --> 00:41:57,283
So, what time's Finn getting here?
586
00:41:57,284 --> 00:42:01,203
How should I know?
587
00:42:01,204 --> 00:42:04,643
Archie, I'm so sorry
that I was mad at you.
588
00:42:04,644 --> 00:42:07,803
Look, I know that you were angry at
Chop and that's why you told him.
589
00:42:07,804 --> 00:42:11,804
I'm sorry too.
590
00:42:11,884 --> 00:42:14,843
Awww!
591
00:42:14,844 --> 00:42:16,563
Oh, for...
592
00:42:16,564 --> 00:42:18,403
You all right, dudes?
593
00:42:18,404 --> 00:42:22,243
How's it hanging... Archie,
still a bummer?
594
00:42:22,244 --> 00:42:24,203
Just go away!
595
00:42:24,204 --> 00:42:27,083
What, that was a
legitimate question.
596
00:42:27,084 --> 00:42:28,763
Are you still a bummer?
597
00:42:28,764 --> 00:42:32,764
Stop! Everyone, stop
what they're doing!
598
00:42:32,924 --> 00:42:36,924
Why don't you tell the full pub
what you've just asked Archie?
599
00:42:38,604 --> 00:42:40,043
What you on about, Chop, man?
600
00:42:40,044 --> 00:42:43,403
I'm being serious, pal! Tell
the whole pub! Piss off!
601
00:42:43,404 --> 00:42:47,404
This motherfucker here is
a top fella and I sat there
602
00:42:47,564 --> 00:42:51,564
and watched you two mugs
take the piss out of him.
603
00:42:52,484 --> 00:42:56,484
I'm sorry, lad. Jesus, are you
two going out or something?
604
00:42:59,764 --> 00:43:02,603
If I see you in this pub again,
605
00:43:02,604 --> 00:43:05,363
I'll fucking debrief you!
606
00:43:05,364 --> 00:43:09,364
Off you pop, lads.
607
00:43:09,644 --> 00:43:12,004
Bye! Bye!
608
00:43:14,204 --> 00:43:18,204
Chop, you didn't have to...
609
00:43:20,244 --> 00:43:21,883
I love you, lad.
610
00:43:21,884 --> 00:43:23,244
I mean that.
611
00:43:35,284 --> 00:43:37,243
There he is.
612
00:43:37,244 --> 00:43:39,083
Hiya, Rae, all right?
613
00:43:39,084 --> 00:43:40,563
Are you all right, Danny?
614
00:43:40,564 --> 00:43:42,563
Yeah, thanks for inviting me.
615
00:43:42,564 --> 00:43:44,003
I'm so excited and nervous.
616
00:43:44,004 --> 00:43:47,443
I only wore one hat cos I
don't want everybody to think
617
00:43:47,444 --> 00:43:51,444
I'm too mad or anything.
618
00:43:51,484 --> 00:43:55,003
And that was that, everything
was back together again... well,
619
00:43:55,004 --> 00:43:56,523
almost everything.
620
00:43:56,524 --> 00:43:59,083
Taking a bite out of a
piece of bread was one thing
621
00:43:59,084 --> 00:44:01,323
but getting naked was another.
622
00:44:01,324 --> 00:44:03,163
And if I couldn't do it,
623
00:44:03,164 --> 00:44:07,043
then it wasn't fair to Finn
to get involved with him again.
624
00:44:07,044 --> 00:44:09,443
Or to be around him.
625
00:44:09,444 --> 00:44:11,363
How's it going?
626
00:44:11,364 --> 00:44:13,483
Ups and downs, you know.
627
00:44:13,484 --> 00:44:17,484
I just wondered if we could talk.
628
00:44:17,924 --> 00:44:21,924
You know, about you and me. No, no,
I don't think that's a good idea.
629
00:44:25,004 --> 00:44:27,244
I don't think talking's a good idea.
630
00:44:33,322 --> 00:44:37,322
Dear Diary, that's the thing with
diaries, they're like movies,
631
00:44:38,002 --> 00:44:41,561
they're just stories,
filled with the things I saw
632
00:44:41,562 --> 00:44:43,201
and the things I felt.
633
00:44:43,202 --> 00:44:45,001
But when I look around,
634
00:44:45,002 --> 00:44:49,002
I see that everyone's the
protagonist of their own story.
635
00:44:49,322 --> 00:44:53,322
And the thing about stories is that
not all of them have a happy ending.
636
00:44:56,522 --> 00:45:00,522
But some do.
637
00:45:04,082 --> 00:45:08,082
This is much better than talking.
638
00:45:08,403 --> 00:45:12,263
Yeah, well, when I say,
"To be continued,"
639
00:45:12,354 --> 00:45:16,354
I mean, "To be continued!"
640
00:45:16,404 --> 00:45:20,954
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