All language subtitles for Fakiren fra Bilbao.English

At night he visits me in my dreams.

He takes my hand and says
that he still loves us -

- but that we shouldn't grieve.
I promise him that we won't -

- but when I wake up I'm just
as sad as when I went to bed.

You can't just stop being sad
when you father has died.

The day he died our family
stopped being a family.

It's three and a half years ago.

Three and three quarters! It's
three and three quarters years ago.

No, it isn't.

Tom always wants to be right.
We're twins.

Yes,
although you wouldn't believe it.

Our father was a pilot. All the kids
thought that we had the coolest dad.

We had. One day he just
didn't come home from work.

Mum waited for him all night.
Next day the phone rang.

The police told us that they had
found the remains of this plane.

Since that day mum hasn't
answered the phone.

Then she got a job
as a decorative painter.

She decided that we should try
to become a family again.

And start over in a new place.

In Churchville.

- Mum wanted to be near work.
- We found an estate agent.

- He was also an undertaker.
- Moony.

Maxwell Moony.

This is a weird town.

Mum made an appointment, because
he had the perfect house for us

Who can trust an estate agent
with corpses in his shop?

Not bad, eh?

Considering that the deceased -

- fell off a roof and
was run over by a school bus.

I actually think that I have achieved
a quite satisfactory result.

It's just too bad.
Look! His eye won't close.

Smile!

Mum will be here in a moment.

Hello?
Yes, she is. One moment.

Take care. They should
have been shipped long ago.

Two dots are missing.

They have to be identical.
We make identical copies. Louise?

- Yes?
- There's a call for you.

- It's the estate agent.
- Yes, I have an appointment.

- I'll be back.
- You can't leave.

- Tell him that I'm on my way.
- Very well, very well.

I'm certain that you will
come to love the Eye of the Moose.

- Who?
- The house.

It's a wonderful, older mansion.

- It's probably dilapidated.
- No. It just needs a loving hand.

And she's got very capable hands,
your little, shapely mother.

We're here.

What a gem, eh?

- You have got to be kidding.
- No, it's the right place.

Hi, children.
This was easy to find.

- Hello, Mr. Moony.
- Hello, Mrs. Wilkins.

- A great pleasure as always.
- You flatterer.

Let's see what Mr. Moony
has found for us.

- Come on in.
- Thank you.

How about neighbours?

I guarantee they won't bother you.
I can promise you that.

Look, a hornet.
This place is just lovely.

Sometimes it won't let people in.

That was easy, eh?

Just like being in a fairytale.
Isn't that right, Emma?

Hey!

This is the hall.

- Has this place ever been haunted?
- No, no.

Of course not.
Ghosts?

No, no. The imagination
of children is certainly...

It's too bad
that we don't have any light.

Wow!
Look at this!

- It looks different from the pictures.
- I think that it's enchanting.

Yes!

It's amazing how pleasantly surprised
you can be about what a castle this is.

Yes. And who hasn't always
dreamt of living in a castle?

I have no doubt that you will be very
happy at the Eye of the Moose.

Ever since the war the house -

- has had a moose's head
mounted on the wall.

Since then the house has been called
the Eye of the Moose.

Where is the head now?

Well, as you can see it's gone.
It vanished without a trace long ago.

There must be other houses.
This one is rotten to the core.

I don't think that
the young man can judge...

Bloody hell!

Well, this is the living room.

What a rotten shack.

Wow!

Oh, my.

There is a fireplace.
Look at this!

It's a living room with fireplace.

Yes.
Everything is indescribable.

- Even the location. It's unbelievable.
- Right next to the cemetery?

Exactly. Central.
A home for life.

Imagine... All those dead people
right in the backyard.

There's nothing to be afraid of, mum.
I think this place could be really nice.

- It just needs a little love.
- Ain't that the truth.

Something for
the whole family to do.

- You're on holiday next week, right?
- Yes.

Well, you just have to get started.

If you could just sign here -

- then the whole caboodle
belongs to you.

But, dear Moony,
we haven't seen the rest.

Children, there's more.

Let's look at
the rest of the house.

That Moony
needs to stay away from mum.

You say that about all men.

Do you know what this is?

- No.
- It's the key to the cellar.

- If you're up for it.
- Shut up and give me the key.

That Moony isn't going to make
me move in to this dump.

It's not exactly habitable, but
there's something alluring about it.

Look at this.

Look at that lock.
Can you see what that is?

- Locked.
- And new.

Newer than the rest of this house.
It was put in fairly recently.

Can you sense it?

- Sense what?
- It's like...

Like the house
is calling out to us.

Let's go back up.

It's a big moment.

I had never thought that
I would sell this house.

I mean... At that price.
It's a bargain.

Here you go.

Cheers, children, and congratulation
on the Eye of the Moose.

That was the beginning
of our new life.

- Tom didn't like the house.
- Didn't like? I hated that dump.

But I could see the potential.

Mum was happy
to have a place of our own.

She tried to make
everything nice for us.

- She had problems at work.
- She didn't like the uniform pattern.

- She always drew her own pattern.
- So she had to work late to correct it.

So Tom and I were often
alone in the house -

- and it was no ordinary house.

Hello?

Hello?
Who is this?

Is this... the Eye of the Moose?

Yes.
Who is this?

Rotten cat!

Boo!
Did I scare you?

I was just surprised.
Big difference.

- Yeah right.
- There's something in here.

- I'm sure.
- What?

I don't know.
What else is the lock for?

Can't we just leave?

I found something.

A ballpoint pen.
That's worth millions.

Ha ha, that's very funny.

He almost looks alive.

Yes.

If you're alive -

- then give us a sign.

Sorry.

We have to open.

Good evening.
Are you home alone?

May we come in?

- What do you want?
- Pardon me.

- We're Mr. And Mrs. Schmidt.
- You were the one who called.

Called?
Yes, that's true.

- We were disconnected.
- You have to go.

The point is that my wife and I have
wonderful memories from this house.

- From here?
- Yes. When we were far away in...

- Abroad.
- Yes. We spent much time there.

We thought lovingly about
the Eye of the Moose.

Where abroad did you live?

Could we perhaps have
something warm to drink?

It's a lifelong dream of ours
to get our house back.

- But we just bought it.
- To much surprise for everyone.

We have thought of a solution.

- Cigar?
- No thanks, I'll pass.

- I'm trying to quit also.
- I see.

We'll take over the deed
and you'll get...

- A big bonus for your troubles.
- How much?

- Do you have that kind of money?
- I'm willing to give you an advance.

No.

I like living here.

- Where is your mother?
- Yes, maybe we should talk to her.

- She's not home.
- No.

She's working
at the pottery place, right?

Your family could do
a lot with this money.

Think about it.
We'll be back soon.

Such morons!

If they want to buy,
then why not let them?

Because it's our house, and why are
they willing to pay that much for it?

Maybe it's worth more.

You've just found a really nice
and very valuable ballpoint pen.

What's going on?
I thought you would be sleeping.

What have you been doing?

- Nothing.
- You can't just do nothing.

We can.

- Do you know what? I'm very tired.
- Let's just go to bed.

Maybe you're just not feeling chatty.
Good night, miss. Good night, sir.

- Good night, mum.
- Sweet dreams.

- We won't tell her about the house.
- No.

She has enough
on her mind already.

- Good night, Emma.
- Good night.

Flambert...

Hey, kitty!

Kitty!
Hey, kitty!

Are you deaf?
Let me out!

Let me out!

- Have you settled in in your castle?
- Yes, we love living there.

I'm very glad to hear that.

- Please hand me that sponge.
- Here you go.

Who lived at the house before us?

That kind of information is
confidential for an estate agent.

How about an undertaker?

I've always been fascinated
by the undertaker business.

- You want to become an undertaker?
- Yes, you have inspired me.

When I went into
the undertaker business -

- it was mostly
to please my mother -

- but the business
always intrigued me.

So who lived
at the house before us?

From one undertaker
to another let me say -

- that the house has been
empty for almost 50 years.

Are you sure?
Who lived there back then?

I think it was a circus performer
and his brother called Lombardo.

- No one named Schmidt lived there?
- I don't think so. Schmidt?

Everybody could be called that.
Are they dead?

What do you have there?

That's mine.

Hey, let me out!

Let me out!

Let me out already!
Are you deaf?

If you let me out,
I'll grant you three wishes.

What happened?

If you let me out,
I'll grant you three wishes.

- Why did you write that?
- I didn't. The man in the pen did.

Tom, look.

Albin Lombardo.
The fakir of Bilbao.

I have been trapped in
a ballpoint pen for 50 years.

I actually look really good.

Well...

- But you don't smell very nice.
- I've got to go.

Stop!

"If you let me out, I'll grant you
three wishes." Does that ring a bell?

- That's just a saying. Pen humour.
- We have it in writing.

Actually...
Actually I'm having a present.

Down in the shaft.
If you can open the lock.

Let me.

- Yes!
- Way to go.

- I knew that something was in there.
- Just wait and see. This is beautiful.

I think you're right.

What do you say?

- It's the old moose head
- Don't you like your present?

Here you go.

- Stop!
- What now? I've wasted 50 years.

I want to go dancing.

You promised us three wishes.

I no longer have use for this.
Look.

Trick sword.
Pure magic.

Here you go.

- Just what I always wanted.
- One wish granted.

Very funny, stinky.

I don't want to be mean
but you really don't smell very nice.

TURPENTINE

You have to stay in our room until
we figure out what to do with you.

You'll scare people.
Especially mum.

My throat is a dry as the Sahara.

Lemonade has improved.

- Can he take hydrochloric acid?
- As long as mum can't smell him.

Your mother?

What a beauty.
Does she have a man?

Forget it. My mother
likes a man who doesn't stink.

- I don't stink. I just smell differently.
- Time for spring cleaning.

We have to get rid of him somehow.

We don't know whether he's
dead or alive. I think he's dead.

Of course he's alive.

Too bad that he stinks
like rotten eggs.

I think he stinks
more like a old sewer.

I do have feelings, you know.

- Why does he have to sleep here?
- He doesn't like to be alone.

- He's been alone for 50 years.
- I'm not going to take it anymore.

You just lie down now.
Right now.

- Good night!
- Good night.

A fakir from a pen. A couple
who wanted to buy our house.

A lighter saying Flambert. I had to
see Moony to get more information.

One undertaker to another.

If you really want to
become an undertaker -

- you have to meet
warm Viola sooner or later.

The biggest furnace
in Northern Europe.

It incinerates people
in 19.8 seconds.

- How about that.
- I thought that I could impress you.

Today you get to do the honours
because you have been so nice.

Just pull the lever, Emma.

Should I count to three?
One, two, three.

Can you feel the vibrations
spreading in your body?

We have jackpot.

Here.
I want you to have this.

From one undertaker to another.

Call me
if you run into some dead people.

Definitely.

Do you know
any Flamberts?

That rings a small
death knell somewhere inside.

I think that I've heard about
someone called Flambert.

Jewel theft.

Tom?

Isn't it funny how you and I
keep running into each other?

- You remind me of myself.
- What?

I also grew up without a father.
I know how difficult it is. Tom...

We have so much in common.

Really?

- Can I give you a lift?
- No thanks.

We got off on the wrong foot.
I'd like to make it up to you.

It's a voucher for
the Golden Rooster on Saturday.

- I hope that you don't have plans.
- No, I don't think so.

You can make your mother happy.
You want that, right?

Saturday at seven.
Enjoy.

Come here.

You'll never guess
what I have discovered.

- Is that you, Tom?
- Yes. What is it?

Remember the name on the lighter?

- What's she doing?
- She wants to have a party.

There.

I now declare the east side of
this living room for open.

It's incredible to be here today with
a lovely fire in our own fireplace.

May it always be so nice -

- and we can have fun,
play cards and knit -

- and strangers
will come into our home -

- and we'll meet the piecework rate
and jugs will be sent out on time.

- What?
- Mum?

- Is something wrong, mum?
- No. I can easily improve my rate.

- Can't you keep up?
- Are you getting fired?

Tom, that's not up to us.

- It's their right to fire me.
- But then we can't afford to live here.

- Let's have a toast.
- Cheers.

May I invite you to dinner -

- at the Golden Rooster on
Saturday at seven all expenses paid?

All expenses paid?
What have you gotten yourself into?

You're underage
so you can't do anything illegal.

I won it, mum.
In a radio competition.

My little Einstein.
So bright.

It would be our pleasure.
Right, Emma?

Have to stay in the room while
they party and drink champagne.

The radio competition was clever.

I couldn't say that
I got it from Schmidt.

His name isn't Schmidt -

- and what if I told you that we had
a giant fortune hidden in our cellar?

- Fortune?
- Come on.

- Flambert?
- Yes. Look at this.

- This is far out.
- Then listen to the rest.

Flambert broke into
the royal collection -

- and stole the most expensive
diamond ring in the world.

They were caught,
and the police found all the jewels.

- Except one. Koo-Loon.
- What?

Koo-Loon.
The diamond in the ring.

Koo-Loon.
It sounds like a spring roll.

The Flamberts
got ten years.

They escaped the day before
yesterday. They are dangerous -

- and they know where Koo-Loon is.

- That's why they paid for the dinner.
- They'll come and take the diamond.

- Is it in the cellar?
- Where the Flamberts hid it.

- Tom, can you see anything?
- No.

This shafts goes
all the way to the cemetery.

I want out of here.

- Not until you find it.
- Yes, now.

What's he doing?

- Lombardo, you can't be here now.
- Mum will return any minute.

- Go back to our room and stay there.
- And stay there and stay there.

You have to.

Remember to lock up.
Have a nice weekend.

Thank you.
You too.

Who can that be?

What is it?

Thank you.
Hello?

It's from Japan. They say
that they have gotten a fake copy.

A teapot with a different design.
How can that be?

They'll call tomorrow.
Come on.

Buried in Churchville in 1950.

I knew it.
Lombardo is already dead.

No wonder that he stinks.

Hello.

This is where we live
in a lovely house with a garden...

Martin, I haven't got the faintest idea
how I'm going to manage without you.

I'm hopeless at everything.
I can't even paint a good copy.

Ugh, there it is again.

- Can you smell that?
- No.

You almost think that the sewer
goes all the way over here, right?

What?

Flowers are flowers.

She's in a good mood.

- Did you put up the head?
- Lombardo did.

- What is he doing?
- He went down to the cellar.

Lombardo here.

- In filth up to my neck. Come in.
- He's trying to help.

- Yeah right.
- I promised him a date with mum.

- No diamonds. Over.
- You told him about the diamond?

So what? He's really sweet
and helpful. He's just a little slow.

- Slow? He's retarded.
- Give me some respect.

I want respect now.

How did you get down there?

Just because their mother is lovely...
You just assume that I'm retarded.

Tom didn't mean it.

- Hello? Hello?
- Hello.

- Hi, mum.
- Hi.

Ugh... Hi.

I thought that the dreadful smell
was coming from down here.

- You almost get dizzy, right?
- Yes.

Here it is.
This is the culprit.

We'll clean the drain. Tom and I
was just talking about that actually.

And I just bought the strongest
cleaning agent on the market.

Just a sprinkle...

Mum, what is that?

I don't know. They said
that it would kill anything.

- Where will you put that?
- Why, down the drain, of course.

Good.

There you go.

Lombardo,
can you hear me?

Look.
You shouldn't blame yourself.

He died over 50 years ago.

- That's not him.
- What do you mean?

That's not him. Our Lombardo is
called Albin. This one is called Axel.

Don't you think he just forgot his
first name? He's not that smart.

Or maybe they were brothers.
This is from when his brother died.

Maybe they were twins.
Can't you see it?

The house has been
empty for 50 years.

We're twins and before us
Axel and Albin Lombardo lived here.

They were twins also.

The house has two turrets.
Two everything.

Tom, it's a twin house.

- Effective powder. Total purification.
- You don't even smell anymore.

Axel Lombardo.
Born 1920.

- If he's your twin, you're over 80.
- Age is a state of mind.

How did you actually
end up in the pen?

My brother and I
performed all over the world.

We were
the Magical Lombardo Brothers.

We could do magic with everything.
We could make me teeny weeny.

So small that I could
disappear into the magic pen.

There was just one word -

- that could free me
and get me out.

Only one magical word.

What was the word?

- It's a secret.
- Because it's a lie.

It's not a lie.
It's magic.

- This is totally far out.
- Stop it. Do you still think about him?

He lives in here,
and I live out here.

The important thing is
to live while you're alive.

Tom, listen!
I have an idea.

Flambert and his brother
know exactly where Koo-Loon is.

Don't you think they
should take us to it? Tonight.

- What about mum and dinner?
- We'll ask her bosses instead.

- We'll have the house to ourselves.
- Mum would never go out with them.

Are you not going to change?

You're going with
the Hagawagittas instead.

- What?
- You can discuss work.

I had looked forward to
an enchanting evening with you.

- It's not going that well at work.
- You can talk things through.

I can talk things through
with them another night.

- Say that they shouldn't fire you.
- Yes.

Say that it's hard to find good staff
and that they're lucky to have you.

Talk about the weather.

My, how the weather has changed
remarkably during the week.

They had promised a strong breeze
but that dissolved during the night.

Instead we only had sporadic showers
and sunshine in the eastern parts.

Hello.
Emma to Tom.

Emma to Tom.
Come in. Over.

- Is something happening?
- No.

- Do you think that they'll come?
- Yes.

When they have the diamond,
we'll make our move.

What then?

We'll call them liars,
if they reveal anything.

No one will believe that
we have stolen the diamond.

I hope Lombardo stays upstairs,
so he doesn't ruin everything.

He promised to stay there.

- Do you think they'll fire her?
- No. We're talking about mum here.

We'd like to talk
about your job.

It's a very nice job. Proper staff
is so difficult to find these days.

There's something
that we'd like to say.

Tom, they're here.

Is that them?

- One of them is one the floor, Tom.
- Okay, I'm coming.

What's that?

It's the head of the moose.
It just fell down.

Oh no.

Help me get it of.

- She's dead.
- You say that about everybody.

You also say
that Lombardo is dead.

She's as dead as a doornail.

- Police headquarters.
- Hello...

I'm calling about...

...about a corpse.

Excuse me?
How old are you?

No one is ever going to believe us.

Yes, it was a brilliant plan.

It was an accident.

Imagine if dad were here.

Then we could just
ask him what to do.

He's not.
There's only the two of us.

- And me.
- What are you doing?

Eating and looking out for you.

- You can't just take our food.
- Sure I can.

- Take the head before it kills again.
- You wish for it to be gone?

Very well.

Second wish granted.

What about the body?

This is the undertaker. Please press
square if you want a catalogue.

Moony,
you have to come and help us.

- What's wrong?
- I've found a dead person.

Fire or earth?

One of her melons fell our.

She's a guy.

That's Flambert's brother.

- Shit.
- That's him.

Welcome.
You must excuse the mess.

Hi. Guests. How nice.

This is Emma,
my daughter Emma.

- The Hagawagittas, my employers.
- Let me take you on a small tour.

Come this way,
Mr. And Mrs. Hiwatta.

- Mrs. Hagawagitta.
- Come this way.

The fireplace is in here.
The fireplace is over there. Go on in.

Mum,
you can show them the damper.

Stay there.

- What happened at dinner?
- They said I couldn't do copying.

- Then what?
- A client had seen one of my jugs.

- Were they mad?
- No, happy.

- They ordered 5,000 more.
- That's great.

Now I just have to make 5,000
different jugs. I have to do them all.

Race you back to the living room?

- What's up?
- Moony is here.

What do we do?

Go in there and make them stay.
I'll take care of Moony.

Where is the deceased?

Could you please wait in the garden?
I'll bring...

...our aunt in a moment.
Okay?

Good job, Moony.

- What was that?
- Nothing. Probably the cat.

- It sounded like the front door.
- Don't go!

Not until I have showed you
my sword swallower trick.

Frank?

Watch this.

That's an unusually butch aunt.

It's a family secret, but I'll tell it
like it is. Auntie is a transvestite.

I don't understand why people
just can't be normal. Like me.

- Yes. I'll get Tom.
- I'll wait by the car.

You have to lug him out there unless
you want to pay an extra hauling fee.

Excuse me.
Tom, I need a strong man.

Hold on to this, mum.

- You took your own sweet time.
- You have to get Flambert to the car.

I'll entertain our guests.

Make sure that Lombardo
stays in the cellar.

Good evening, Tom.

- Moony, where's Tom?
- I'm sure I don't know.

- Did he get auntie into the coffin?
- One moment. Let me check.

He must have unloaded the tranny.

The coffin is loaded,
so to speak.

Don't forget to say hello
to you lovely mother.

I won't.
Hurry up.

In the beginning
we focused on ashtrays.

But all this health consciousness
put a stop to that.

You seem to be having a nice time.

I'll skedaddle then.

The cellar.

Tom, we are saved.
Moony just took the body away.

What is going on?

- Did you take him out of the coffin?
- No, not me.

A big, ugly man.

- He climbed into the shaft.
- What does he want in there?

- Maybe he's looking for the moose.
- Of course!

You're a genius. Koo-Loon
is inside the head of the moose.

- He's looking for the moose.
- And I have hidden the moose.

If Frank is here in the cellar
and Florian in the shaft -

- then who's in the coffin?

Help!

Help!

Tom!

Wait.

- Lombardo?
- Hop in.

No! Stop.
Get me out!

- What's going on?
- Tom is in the coffin.

Show some respect
for the deceased.

The corpse has
a right to be cremated.

She's sleeping.
Let's go home.

Louise,
thank you for a lovely evening.

Let's go home.

Is Flambert still in the house?
With Louise?

Yes.
Here's the plan.

Tom, you'll check on mum.

Lombardo, go around back.

I'll sneak into the cellar.

Be careful.

- Let go.
- Stay!

Where is it?
Where have you hidden it?

What are you talking about?

- Tell me where the moose head is.
- I don't know anything.

Sure you do.
I'll make you talk, damn it.

I don't know where it is.

What the hell!

Have you come back
from the dead?

Pick on someone your own size.

Come on!

Wow!

Hello?

Moony, it's Emma again.

- Who's that weird fellow?
- Uncle Lombardo.

You're not going to call me in a
few hours and tell me he's dead?

- Moony!
- I could just take him with me now.

I'm not being dead.

Look at this.

- There.
- Is it in here?

- It must be.
- I can't see anything.

It's Koo-Loon.

It's the police.

Good morning.
What can I do for you?

We received a call from here.
Something about a corpse.

- Do you know anything about that?
- Oh, the call.

- That was just a joke.
- Are you parents at home?

- Yes, my mother.
- Can we talk to her?

I'll get my uncle Lombardo.

- Lombardo, you have to help us.
- Hello, anybody home?

- We'll split the diamond with you.
- Then the last wish goes away, right?

Okay.
Come on.

It's just a misunderstanding.

- I'm uncle. I'm saying sorry.
- Do you have a permit for that?

- Should I show trick?
- No, that's not a good idea.

- What was you name again?
- Lombardo. He's not involved in this.

- Scram!
- Excuse me.

- What in the world is going on here?
- We received a call from here.

- We didn't call you.
- The call came from here.

- Somebody is playing tricks on you.
- Crank calls are very serious.

That is a very serious accusation
coming from you, officer.

I can vouch for
that my children never -

- and I repeat never,
would make crank calls.

Mum, we made the call.

And there's probably
a good reason for that.

Why have a phone if not to use it.
We all have to have a bit of fun.

You could learn from that. If the police
can't laugh, what are we to do then?

Take your rotten relatives back.

You can have your
uncles and aunts and whatnot back.

- What happened?
- I'll tell you, young Emma.

When I fired up Viola -

- your rotten relatives decided
to come back from the dead.

I could have cremated them.
Look at this.

That's Frank Flambert.

And Florian Flambert.

They aren't our relatives.
The police should take care of this.

- You ought to be ashamed, Moony.
- I haven't done anything.

- What's the meaning of this?
- It's the fault of those rotten kids.

Let me tell you something.

Emma and Tom...
There's no truth to this, is there?

It's all true, mum?

I'm sure there's a good
explanation for all this.

There was. Luckily
the two criminals were alive -

- so they kept the police busy and
they never asked about a diamond.

Where did he go?

Suddenly he was gone.

Lombardo, are you down here?
Lombardo?

Lombardo wouldn't run out on us,
would he?

- Lombardo has taken Koo-Loon.
- I knew it.

Even though Lombardo had run off,
life went on.

Mum went overboard
with Christmas cheer.

- Mum had changed a lot.
- She was still crazy.

She wasn't sad anymore.

Hello, Louise here.
Whether I have pig's feet?

I sincerely don't hope so, officer.

I recognised your voice. You have
to distort you voice. Like this.

If you want to make real crank calls,
ask the butcher that question.

Exactly.
I'll see you tonight.

Bye, bye.

It's quite a fad you two have started
with all these crank calls.

Tom, Emma...

Madam, I have a
housewarming present for you.

My, my, young Moony.
Look, children.

What a festive urn.

- You're welcome.
- That's very thoughtful, Moony.

That must be our guest of honour.

I think that everyone is here.

Well...

Welcome to the first Christmas
party at the Eye of the Moose.

I'm so very happy
that you all could come.

I'm especially happy to be able
to welcome our guest of honour.

Cheers and welcome.

Cheers.

Why did you run?

I had to capture a woman's heart.
That takes time.

You still owe us a wish and
a fairly valuable diamond.

I would like to make another toast.
To life and love.

With you...

I live again.

Will you marry me?

It will be my utter and irresistibly
enormous pleasure

And that's how we
became a family again.

We got a slightly different dad
but that's okay -

- because Lombardo
makes our mother happy.

It's weird how much your life
can change in a very short while.

The old house finally came to life.

I never regretted that we moved
into the Eye of the Moose.

- Second time. Pickup.
- Action.

I think it's adorable with a staircase
and crystal chandeliers and...

Oops, dancing and parties
and things that break.

Listen, I have a suspicion...
Sorry.

That's the ticket.

You must understand that you need
to stay because I can't say my line.

Look at these children.
These fatherless cherubs.

Do you think it's fun
with a mother like me -

- painting jugs all day?
No.

Let's stop.

Pick up mum tomorrow at seven.
She'll look forward to that.

She'd better.

Cut.

That's a real crank call.
You're welcome. See you tonight.

That's quite a fag you've
started with these crank calls.