All language subtitles for the.neighborhood.s06e08.1080p.web.h264-successfulcrab

Marty?

There are customers
waiting in the lounge

and no one bringing
their cars around.

Yeah, I know, Dad.
Lowell just quit this morning.

Of course he did.

It is impossible to keep
employees these days.

Nobody in your generation
wants to work.

Actually, he quit because
he sold a movie script

to Oprah's company,
but yeah.

Well, if he wrote it
while he was working here,

I want a percentage.

And your mama get
to meet Oprah.

And Gayle.

Mom, you are
stressing me out.

You are making this
a very big deal,

and I got a lot going on.

Mom, I love you.
Love you.

Love you, too,
but you're not hearing me!

Yes, but everyone else is.

I let my mom talk me
into coming home

to Calgary for
a quick visit,

and suddenly she's throwing me
an enormous baby shower.

Oh.
Yes, the pastor's fine.

But the whole congregation?

I love you,
too, Mommy.

That woman is gonna be
the death of me.

I told her
I did not want a baby shower.

Well, the baby is gonna need
a lot of stuff when it comes.

Yes, but a free stroller

and bottle warmer isn't
worth me having to explain

to two dozen old ladies
how I accidentally

let some random dude
knock me up.

No offense.

Believe me,
I know how moms can get.

(yells)
What? What's wrong?

I forgot to invite your mom.

Oh!

The shower's tomorrow,
and in another country.

It's okay. It's okay.

Then why did you scream?
Did I?

I shouldn't have.

What am I gonna do?

Your mom is
never gonna forgive me.

Courtney, calm down, okay?

(stammers)
It's gonna be okay.

This isn't even
her kind of thing.

And it's all the way in Canada.

Trust me,
you are doing her a favor.

Now she doesn't have
to let you down by saying no.

Are you sure?

Of course I'm sure.

You think I don't know
my own mother?

Okay. All right, you just,

you just, you go
and-and have fun.

And, uh, I'll see you
when you get back.

Okay, okay, thank you.

All right.
"Get back"?

Is she going to lunch already?

No, Dad, she's
going to Canada.

Well, she better
be back in an hour.

♪ Welcome to the block,
welcome to the neighborhood ♪

♪ Welcome to the hood. ♪

Dinner was fantastic,
Gemma.

The steaks were
perfect.

Oh, thanks, Tina.
Mm-hmm.

Calvin, cognac?

Ah, you're breaking out
the 'yac.

(chuckles)

This friendship is
finally paying off.

So, Lamar, am I crazy, or did
you take the bus here tonight?

You're not crazy,
Gemma.

The Datsun
caught on fire.

Ah, that's a bummer.

And you can't afford
to buy another car

because you can't
find a job.

You can't find a job because
he doesn't have a car.

Mm.

It's quite a pickle.

Well, I'd love
to give you a job,

but the school has
a very clear policy

on hiring
convicted felons.

You can't.

Damn it.

Just wish we knew someone

who owned a private business.

Ah, okay.

I see I've been suckered
by the 'yac.

Mm-hmm.

You guys always talk
about how good people

deserve a second chance.

Yes, but not from me, Dave.

Besides, I can't help.

I don't have any openings.

Yes, you do.

Didn't Lowell the valet guy
just quit this morning?

I had forgotten that.

Yes, Tina.

Thank you so much for
that very timely reminder.

Do you really believe Mama
wouldn't care if she wasn't

invited to the baby shower?

Of course she'd care.
She'd be heartbroken.

But that's why
she's never going to find out.

Oh, really, Marty?

This is the same woman who
knew Courtney was pregnant

before Courtney knew
she was pregnant.

I know. I know, I know,
but-but this is different.

The shower's all
the way in Canada.

And she don't know
nobody who's going.

It's not like she has
magical powers.

Marty, baby shower.

She's a witch!

I want to throw
Courtney a shower.

Let's talk dates.

Oh, dates!
Yeah.

For-for a future shower, yes.
Yeah.

No! No, no, Courtney doesn't

want a baby shower.
She hates showers.

What kind of person
hates showers?

Well, she's a millennial
and a Scorpio and a Hufflepuff.

Oh, come on,
it'd be a super fun party

where people give you stuff.

I know. She's crazy.

Talk about a milestone.

You know, you never forget
the first day you drop off

your long-lost dad
at his minimum-wage job

just after
he gets out of prison.

It's like a great country song.

Listen,
just so we're clear, Lamar,

there are
a few requirements.

All right, always keep
your uniform clean,

be on time and...

don't steal anything.

Roger that.

Uh, Calvin, you promised
not to be prejudiced

against a good man who
deserves a second chance.

No, I said I'd give him
a second chance.

I didn't say
I wasn't gonna be prejudiced.

(sighs)

Yo, Marty.

Oh, hey.
You're back from Calgary.

Yes, I am so relieved.
It was crazy.

But I survived, and the baby
got a ton of great gifts.

And I made it back in
time for trivia night.

We are going to
crush that team

of cocky dental hygienists,
the Flossy Posse? (scoffs)

Boo.

Sorry, di--
uh, did I hear trivia night?

Because I am fantastic
at trivia.

And I have no plans tonight, guys.

Nothing.

David.

Well, I know,
but we already have four.

Uh, it's me, Courtney,
Malcolm and Julian.

What's up?
Here you go, boss man.

That Julian?

Yeah.

The coffee guy?

He knows a million random facts.

Yeah. Julian?

Yo.

Smallest Great Lake.

By volume, Erie.

By area, Ontario.

Give me some,
all right.

And yet he wrote

"Clavion" on my latte.

Oh, hey, do me a favor.

Keep an eye out for boxes
at your house.
Why?

Well, people are constantly
stealing packages

at my building,
so I sent all

the baby shower gifts
to your house.

Oh, okay.

(laughs, stammers)
When are they arriving?

Well, the online
registry stuff

should start getting
there today.

Today? Today, today.

As-as in today.

Oh, so convenient.

Yeah.

(phone ringing)

(groans)
Okay.

(clears throat)

(chuckles)
Shello?

Malcolm, this is no time
for shello.

Courtney sent the baby shower
gifts to our house.

When Mom sees it,
she's gonna be more upset

than when En Vogue broke up.

Remember she came
and got us out of school?

Oh, yeah, that was bad.

You know what?
Hey, do not panic.

Okay? Let me go check, baby bro.

Okay.

(grunts)
Okay.

Oh, whoa!

I'm gonna get these inside.

Okay. Hurry, hurry.

Oh, my God!

Malcolm? Malcolm, what is it?

Hello, Malcolm.

So I'm supposed
to believe she just forgot

to invite me to a secret
Canadian baby shower?

Yes, ma'am.

Okay. Okay.

And, uh...
(clears throat) Marty,

he didn't want you to know
because he thought

that you might be... mad.

Oh, I'm not mad.

You're not?
(laughs)

Mama, that is good.

I'm more numb.

Numb with sadness.

I am so sorry, Mama.

Is there, uh, is there
anything I can do to help?

You can meet a girl,
get her pregnant,

and invite me
to the baby shower.

I was thinking more
like frozen yogurt.

Hey, Calvin.

Look at my dad out here
busting his hump.

Yes, he is.

I hate to admit it,
but you were right.

Yeah. Hey, you know,
I was thinking.

Maybe we should
take you and Tina

out to drinks
at Ernie's tonight.

You know, celebrate
how well this is all going.

Is this just so you can
say, "I told you so"?

Yeah, well,
pretty much.

Well, if you're buying,

you can say whatever you want.

And if your dad keeps
working like this,

he's gonna be
employee of the month.

What, uh, does employee
of the month get?

They get to work another month.

Good enough.

She wasn't mad?

No, I wish.

She was sad.

Oh, no, that's bad.

Okay, okay, here's
what I'm thinking.

This is one of those problems
that just goes away

if you avoid it.

Like the "check engine" light.

Okay, I feel like you're
mocking me with that answer.

Yes.
But yes.

Marty, what if Courtney
finds out you lied?

You told her Mama wouldn't
care about the shower.

Mom and Courtney
barely see each other.

How's she gonna find out?
(door creaks open)

Well, off the top
of my head,

I can think
of one way.

Wait a minute,
does that sign say--?

Is it trivia night?

Oh, God.

Guys, we should play.

This is starting to feel
like another Dave setup.

I'm getting good at them, right?

(chuckles)
Hey...

Mommy.
(laughs)

I am so glad to see you,

because when I told you

that Courtney wasn't having
a baby shower,

I just assumed you meant
in this country.

Canadian showers
are completely different.

It's like how they have
their own Thanksgiving,

but it's on a different day,
so nobody cares.

It's fine, Marty.

It is?

Yes.

I got a lot of
clarity today.

I know that I will never be
a part of my grandchild's life.

And I now know that
your word means nothing.

No, w-- that is not fine.

Mommy...
Hey, Marty.

Hi, Mrs. B.
Oh, you don't have
to call me Mrs. B.

Just call me "random lady,"

because that's all I'll
ever be to my grandchild.

(air horn blows)

All right, you drunken
brainiacs, it's trivia time!

(cheering, applause)

Marty, why is your mom
mad at me?

Well, that's a...
it's a quagmire

in sort of an enigma,

inside of a conundrum.

It's a toughie.
(laughs)

And final question of the round.

One point for every
correct answer.

Name the noble gases.

Oh, noble gases? We got this.
Yeah.

I can't believe you, Marty.
Courtney, please.

Hey, hey, hey, guys, guys,
can we please focus?

We need some answers.

I need some answers.

Why did you tell me
your mom would be fine

not going to the shower?

Because I was trying
to make everyone happy.

Oh, then, well done.
Look how happy everyone is.

Ah.

DAVE:
Argon,

radon, krypton, oganesson.

Got them all.

GEMMA:
Dave, would you chill?

Can't you see how emotional
Tina is?

Yes, uh, but you know what would
make her feel better? Winning.

Calvin, uh, number four.

Are you sure that these are all

the Pam Grier movies
of the 1970s?

Dave, I told you,
I know my Pam Grier.

It was me, Pam and my VCR.

We had a thang.

(both laugh)

It was a friendship.

(bell dings)

And that's time. Pencils down.

Look at this.

It's a damn travesty.

Marty, we got five
blank questions, man.

Courtney was distracting me.

You could have just made
up some answers, Marty.

Apparently, lies
are your specialty.

And I had to go
to a real dark place

to name
all these serial killers.

And for what?

Marty, we need to do
something about this.

Okay, don't worry.

I have a solution.

We just give her the baby.

I'm not giving
your mom my baby.

Okay, yeah, when you say it
like that, of course...

This, uh, might be
the skinny piña colada talking,

but, uh, you guys blow.

Come on, Dave, our
rideshare is here.

We got to get home to Grover.
Ooh, Grover.

Furry blue Muppet, debuted
on Sesame Street in 1970.

Booyah.

(grunts)

I bet you didn't expect
to have trivia winners

in your car tonight, huh?

And, yes,
I did have a piña colada.

Ask me if I paid for it.
You can ask me.

Okay, Dave, Dave. Calm down.
Ask me. Uh, sir?

Sir, sir, I requested a chatty
driver, and I'd like to chat.

Nice night, huh?

Dad?
Lamar?

Where did you get this car?

It's a loaner.

Is this one of the Fusebox cars?

Well, now you're just
jumping to conclusions.

Am I?

These are Fusebox floor mats.
(Gemma gasps)

I didn't want to
get the car dirty.

A good way to not get it dirty
would be not to steal it.

Steal it?

The kids call it
a "side hustle."

The owner literally
handed me the keys

and told me
to take good care of it.

I don't think he meant
to pick up passengers in it.

You didn't hear
the way he said it.

(groans)
(car powers off)

What happened?

I don't know.
The car just stopped.

Why?

Don't ask me.
It's not my car.

Well...

When was the last time
you charged it?

You know, I've been
meaning to look up

how often you got to do that.

♪ ♪

Hey, morning, Calvin.

Just, uh, dropping off
your new favorite employee.

Yeah. Hey, Lamar,

the silver Hyundai we
worked on yesterday,

it's only half charged.

Hmm, uh, charger must be broken.

Yeah, I bet that's
what it is. (chuckles)

I'm sure that's what it is.
Has to be what it is.

Happens to phone chargers,
happens to car chargers.

Case closed.

Well-well, didn't
we run diagnostics

on all of the chargers?
Well, in that case,

could be something else,
could be anything else.

Could be a million things.
Yeah.

It is a mystery that,
frankly, may never be solved.

In fact,
we might as well stop trying.

Yeah, you should
definitely stop.

Lamar, would you please plug the
Hyundai up to another charger?

You got it, boss.
Thank you.

Thanks for covering for me.

You're a good son.

Yeah, maybe,
but I'm a terrible friend.

You know, that's the first time
I've ever lied to Calvin.

I mean, except for the time
that I told him his gazpacho

wasn't too salty.

It was inedible.

It was like eating
a bowl of ocean.

♪ ♪

(children babbling over TV)

Hey, Mom?

Can we talk?

Sure.

Just watching home movies,
when things were simple.

Just me
and Mama's little babies.

Aww.

Is that Marty
in the school play?

Yeah. He was terrible.
He just stood there.

I was playing a tree.

Okay. Mom? Uh...

I need you to know
how sorry I am.

Okay? This whole thing
was all my fault.

No, it's not, Marty.

It all started because I made
an awful, stupid mistake,

forgetting to invite you.

It hurt your
feelings,

and I am so sorry.

I guess I could have been
a little more understanding.

I know what baby brain is like.

(chuckles)
One time, I got confused

and put breast milk
in Calvin's coffee.

Ew.
He loved it.

Ew.
Ew.

But that's it exactly.

(sighs)
I'm so scattered.

I'm screwing up left and right.

But I don't just want you to be
a part of this baby's life.

I need you.

You do?

I do. My mom is
2,000 miles away.

MARTY:
Yeah, and we're both gonna
be working full-time,

so we gonna need somebody
to dump this baby on.

You'd dump that baby on me?

(laughs):
Ooh...

Tina?

Not now, Gemma!

Uh, but it's an emergency.

I've got clumpy
gravy on the stove

and I don't know what to do.

Gemma, I thought we agreed you
would never attempt gravy again.

You don't have what it takes.

Okay, before you say
anything else hurtful.

ALL:
Surprise!

What is happening?

It's a baby shower.
Well, actually,

it's a grandma shower
for our baby's Glammy T.

That's me.

(laughs)

Here you go.
Oh, my God-- oh...

Look, I know I said I forgave
you earlier, but I was lying.

Now I forgive you.

Ooh!

Ooh, let me steal one of these.

(chuckles)

He knows.
Who?

Calvin. He's on to us.

I walked past him with a tray
of pigs in a blanket,

and he said,
"Let me steal one of those."

Seems pretty innocent.

Excuse me. Oh, man.

These things are so good, man,
they should be a crime.

(soft laughter)

They're not that good.

What are you talking about?

Stop toying with me.

God, you're like a cat,
and I'm like your little mouse.

Son, it's okay.
He's racked with guilt.

Calvin, you know that
car that wasn't charged?

It's because I drove it for a
ridesharing service last night.

Whoa, whoa. You took a
customer's car from the Fusebox?

You got to understand,
I'm desperate to make money

so I can come around more.

I-I just got my family back
and I don't want to lose them.

But I told Dave to
lie to you about it,

and for that, I'm sorry.

Oh, but you're not sorry
about the grand theft auto?

That, too?

Look, I'm sorry, Calvin.

You know, Dave, I've never
known you to be a liar.

I mean, you've been
a lot of other things.

A nuisance, a pest,

a pain in the ass,
an overtalker, a bad dresser.

But I know
if you lied, then,

it must have been
for an important reason.

It was.

All right,
I guess this one time,

I'm just gonna look past it.

So I can keep my job?

Oh, no. You're fired.

I'm just not gonna
call the police.

Okay. Well, thank you.

But I tell you what,
I know for a fact

that Motor Boys on Marengo,
they're hiring.

And I would be more than happy
to write you

a glowing recommendation.

You'd do that for me?

No.

He's doing it for me.

No.

I'm doing it
because I hate Motor Boys.

Feel free to steal everything
under the roof.

I will.

Let's see.
(gasps)

Oh, so sweet.

Now I don't have to say it.

Yeah.
Aww.

So cute.
Mm-hmm.

Glammy T?

Open this one next.
Ooh.

(gasps)
Oh, my goodness.

Ah!
How cute.

(gasps)

Matching sneakers!

(wailing)

(crying)

You know, I've seen Mama
ugly-cry before, but Marty?

Well, he is his mama's boy.

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