All language subtitles for night.court.2023.s02e13.1080p.web.h264-successfulcrab[EZTVx.to]

Mr. and Miss Bealer
are charged with instigating

a food fight
at the Times Square

Bubba Gump shrimp.

Interesting.

I didn't know they served
food at Bubba Gump Shrimp.

In their statement,

that couple blames
their altercation

on the restaurant's
lack of self service,

forcing them to quote,
"talk to each other."

I know there are
disagreements in every marriage,

but culinary violence is
never the answer.

$100 fine.

Believe it or not,
you're the third defendants

this week with shrimp
in their hair.

Couples like that
are why I don't want to rush

into a relationship with Jake.

Right now,
it's just so new and fun.

We can't stop talking
at restaurants.

It takes us forever to order.

Waiters hate us.

Trust me,
it's not just the waiters.

You're just jealous
because the last woman you dated

is writing you letters
on toilet paper from prison.

She had her letter writing
privileges revoked

because she was using
her pen as a shovel.

Wow, your relationships make
me feel a lot better

about my horrendous divorce.

Next up, The People
versus Pete McGuiness.

Mr. McGuiness is a landlord
charged with excessive use

of force, for physically
throwing his tenants out

onto the streets.
- And who are the tenants?

[ English accent ]
Hello, Judge.

It's so nice and warm in here.

I should like to stay forever.

He forcibly removed orphans?

They're not orphans.

They're a children's
theater troupe

that only does "Oliver".

The defendant ruthlessly punted
the actors out on to the street

after he double booked
his property as a wedding venue.

Which means that if you rule
in the favor of these

fame hungry pre-adults,

you'll be
blowing up countless weddings.

You better not be
blowing up my wedding, Tiny.

Did I mention that one of
the weddings is Roz Russell's?

The court directs
the cute orphan

to please make big sad eyes
at Roz.

Will you be my mum?

Oh, shut up.

♪

Sorry you lost your venue.
You know what, though?

Big weddings are over hyped.

Sarah and I actually
considered eloping.

I wouldn't want any witnesses
if I was marrying you either.

[ Mock laughs ]

I found a great place
for your wedding.

It's in the heart of Manhattan,
it's an historical landmark,

and it has so many
security cameras,

you can fire your videographer.

- She's talking about here.
- I'm talking about here.

Considering
the wedding is tomorrow,

what the hell choice do I have?

That's the quiet resignation
I was hoping for.

And the best part is the place
comes with an officiant

who's never had the honor,
but suspects

it's the thing
they were born to do.

- She's talking about her.
- I'm talking about me!

We have an officiant.
I'd invite you as a guest,

but we're still waiting on
a couple of RSVPs.

Dan, are you seriously
considering

not going to Roz's wedding?

I'm seriously considering
not going anywhere ever again.

That's fine.

I don't need him there
drinking my booze

and throwing rice way too hard.

Okay, since you're both closed
off weirdos, let me translate.

Dan, Roz would like you
to go to her wedding

because you mean a lot to her.

And, Roz, Dan is afraid
that he's gonna have feelings

and people will see he's
a person.

- Way off.
- Ridiculous.

But yeah,
I guess I could stop by.

Having you here would be fine.

God, you closed off
weirdos are gonna make me cry.

Maybe losing the venue
was a blessing in disguise.

Well, then we're loaded
with blessings 'cause

this wedding has already had
so many things go wrong already.

I don't mean to eavesdrop,
but I have been.

Have you considered
it's sabotage?

I mean, I imagine as a PI,
you've made plenty

of enemies along the way.

Sabotage would explain
how we've lost a florist,

a deejay,
and most of our string quartet.

Miss Russell, would you make me
the happiest woman in the world

and let me run security
at your wedding?

For free?

You can do whatever
the hell you want.

That's the quiet resignation
I was hoping for.

I hope you all
have fun at the party.

I'll just be quietly
practicing the electric slide

alone, even though having
the wedding here was my idea.

- You can come.
- Yay!

That way,
if anything goes wrong,

I can find you

and I can blame you.

Yay.

The ceremony was nice.
I guess.

If I was officiating,
I would have done better than

"building this house on love."

2013 called
and wants its metaphors back.

You're cute
when you're snarky.

You're also cute
when you're not snarky.

This is just kind of a long way
of saying you're cute.

And this is kind of a short
way of saying I'm nauseated.

Listen, just because I'm here,

don't expect me
to go to your wedding

when you decide to blonde
for all eternity.

Our wedding? That is the
farthest thing from our minds.

Yeah, no, we're
just keeping things casual.

Yeah. Good luck with that.

Weddings are the foot on
the gas of every relationship.

Oof, now I'm gonna
have to learn your name.

I want to say Chester.

That is the dumbest thing
I've ever heard.

Yeah, if anything, I'm more
of a Chase than a Chester.

No, I mean,
the idea that this wedding

would kick our relationship
into a higher gear.

Like just by being here,

all of a sudden,
I'm gonna be like,

"Oh, you should meet my mom."

I mean, she is in town,
but I'm not introducing her

to someone
I'm casually dating.

Yeah, we don't want to bring
a mom into this hotness.

We are nowhere
near meeting parents.

Well, parent. I've never met
my biological father.

I don't know
why I chose this moment

to drop that super
not casual bomb.

Dan is right about weddings.

Maybe we should
just come up with some rules

to keep things light.

I love that.
Nothing says fun and casual

like a boatload of rules.

First rule,
no heavy conversations.

Yep. Just small talk
and playful banter starting now.

Perfect.

I did consider searching
for my dad once.

Sorry. Now it's out
of my system.

So we made it through
Roz and Loretta's ceremony,

but we're not out
of the woods yet.

The saboteur could strike
at any time.

So I need you hidden,
every table,

listening to every conversation.

Beating a confession out
of anyone who looks at us wrong.

Like that guy.

That's Loretta's daddy.

Interesting, because he told
me he was Roz's father in law.

Someone can't keep
his story straight.

I haven't been to a wedding
since my divorce.

I was worried it was gonna
bring up a lot of emotions,

but I'm holding it together
pretty lonely right now.

What are you wearing? You're
supposed to be a waiter.

In this dress?
No one's gonna buy that.

But off your idea, why don't
I go on to cover as a guest?

Ooh, I'll start by chatting
up the partners

at Loretta's law firm.

I don't know.
What's your cover story?

I'm a seasoned trial lawyer
who's trying to get out of

a dead end job
where I'm surrounded by bozos.

Oh, you got a real
mind for this.

Yeah, but excuse me.
I really shouldn't

be seen talking to the staff.

So, which signature
cocktail do you recommend?

The "I'm Loretta sour"
or "Sex on the Roz"?

Eight rosés, please.

Oh, no, Sorry, ma'am.
Tonight they're "Roz-és".

They're not for me. I'm at
the unmarried aunts table.

And I'm hoping the wine works
as a mute button.

[ Chuckles ] Oh, okay.
Well, you know what?

If that doesn't work out,

you can join me
at the singles table.

It's largely children. Their
screens have been taken away.

So basically it's just
a knife fight waiting to happen.

Your eight wines, ma'am.

Well, how about I drop these
off and meet you back here.

Oh, great.

I can feel you smiling.

And I can feel you feeling.

Banner day, Dan.
Banner fricking day.

Just a second.

Hey, Roz,
who's that woman?

She seems very familiar.

She should.

You argued against her sister

in this courthouse
for the better part of a decade.

That's Christine Sullivan's
sister?

Yeah. Katie.

We met through Christine

and ended up seeing a lot
of each other.

Now Dan wants to see
a lot of her.

Too bad she hates him.

Damn it, Fielding.
What did you do?

Nothing!

Well, except maybe moving to DC
to be with Christine,

pledging my undying love,

and then just disappearing
with no explanation.

You know, that was
a long time ago.

And she didn't seem
to hate me just now.

Oh, maybe I didn't tell her
who I was.

Well, you don't want to drink
in your face?

I'd keep it that way.

Message received.

Challenge accepted.

Flobert, I need your help

making me look good
to someone who hates my guts.

But you cannot say my name,
and you cannot tell Roz.

Roz?! The lady the drink's
named after is here?

I hope this goes better than
the time I met Arnold Palmer.

Hi there. Olivia Moore.

So happy for Loretta,
et cetera, et cetera.

Oh, I heard that you're
looking for new associates.

Maybe an outside hire.

Someone who's quietly saying
her name to sneak it

into your subconscious.
Olivia.

[ Clears throat ]
You're in my seat.

- Devin.
- Olivia.

What's that perfume?

Desperation
by Calvin and Hobbes?

So, you work at Loretta's
law firm?

Don't tell me you made partner

'cause then I would
need to reintroduce myself

and adjust my tone.
Olivia.

I got passed over, but
don't worry, I got big plans.

So if you'll excuse me, I need
some face time with the boss.

Gina, you're looking well.
Devin.

Everyone having
a good time? Hm?

They come to an end, you know?

Wyatt, you see
that guy over there?

He's boss blocking me.
I need you to get him drunk.

Smart, Olivia.
Focus on career.

Career can't leave you and take
the dog you've trained.

Flobert, I need you to take
that guy

out of commission.
- Booze or poison?

Thank you.

Can I just say we are
killing it at keeping it light.

Just casually grinding like you
would any random piece of ass

you meet at a wedding.

Oh, thank you.

And let me just say you are
also a hot, disposable rando.

Oh, it's a slow one.

- Nice change of piece.
- Yeah.

- No.
- No, not today, wedding!

Hold on.

No!

What? My shoe's untied.

Tie it tomorrow!

Okay. Okay. I'm gonna let you
in a little secret.

When you see "anonymous
donor"...[ Chuckles ]

- [ Laughs ]
- Here you go, sir.

- Thank you, my man.
- It's an open bar, sir.

Oh, that's for you.
Don't worry about it.

Can't stop giving.

- Wow. A $50!
- Hey!

You know what?

They should make those different
colors, shouldn't they?

I just realized that I still
haven't gotten your name.

I'm Katie.

Oh, I think we've established
that I'm anonymous.

But of course-- of course
I have a name.

There he is, the bravest, most
decent man I have ever known.

This man is a hero.

You know,
every year, he shaves that beard

and sends the hair
to kids in other countries

who can't grow their own beards.

Whatever you're doing,
do less.

This man is a coward!

Who hit me with this car
and drove away.

That was an absurd
over correction.

Oh, look at you two talking.

I'll just take this drink
out of your throwing hand.

I was just hearing about
all the volunteer work that--

Sorry. I still haven't gotten
your name.

Oh, did he not volunteer that?

Oh, I'm sorry.
What's that, sir?

Oh, yeah. What?

Oh, you said you would like
to make a toast?

Oh, I'm really not
in a good place.

Oh, no.
You know, you're right.

Let's get you in front of
a microphone. Here we go.

Listen, everybody.

Probably my generous
nature talking,

but I think we should give our
full attention to this waiter.

Go!

Uh, I didn't expect to speak,
but treasure today.

Later you may find yourself
dealing with divorce lawyers

and your ex wife could have
a new boyfriend

who gave a toast at your wedding
with a lot of innuendo

you probably should
have picked up on.

But true love is worth
that risk.

And when you find it...

...hold on.

- Cheers.
- Cheers.

Let's hope this doesn't kick
off a wave of toasts.

Yeah, the last thing we need

is a bunch of half
cocked sap hounds trying

to get us to be all lovey dovey.

So if this isn't
working on us,

why you holding my hand?

'Cause you're holding my hand,
you sap hound!

Oh, you're picturing
us playing with our kids,

aren't you?

We're using the cushions
from the couch to build a fort.

Abby, the wedding's winning.

I feel the walls closing in.

It's not the walls.
It's the bouquet toss

We got to get out of here!
- You might as well

just catch it.

The wedding's not gonna stop
till it gets what it wants.

It's got to catch me first.

Oh, go!

I'm starting to think
that Abby might be the saboteur.

That's better
than watching them dance.

I heard you tipped
the bartender 50 bucks.

I have been lying
to your ex girlfriend's sister

all night
and haven't seen a dime.

Thanks a lot, Dan Fielding!

You're Dan Fielding?

So this was you trying
to make yourself look good?

No, not at all.

I was just trying to show you
that I am not the man I was.

I've changed.

Oh, I don't know.
Because you still seem

like the same selfish jerk

that didn't bother to show up
to my sister's funeral.

No. Kate.

Be a waste not to.

There it is.

Closing argument for
why we should change

our judicial selection process.

New York State has tons
of pictures of me

eating cake off myself,
and I'm still here.

Huh.
Oh, I've got some news.

Katie Sullivan hates me

because I didn't go to
her sister's funeral.

Oh.

Sometimes in life...

Nope. Can't put a positive spin
on that one.

The fact is I was there.

I was hiding behind a row
of poplar trees

'cause I didn't want to intrude.

Christine Sullivan was
the best person I have ever met,

and I was in love with her,
and miraculously,

she started to have
feelings for me.

And I pushed her away
and then left because I thought,

you know, maybe I wasn't
good enough for her.

Dan...

you weren't.

I can see how fear
can make you push someone

away, sometimes into a cake.

Almost never into a cake.
That's just you.

You know,
Christine made me a better man.

I would have never had
the life I did with Sarah

if it hadn't been
for Christine Sullivan.

You could say
all that to Katie.

Eh, what's the point?
She'd just think I was lying.

Well, I guess the important
thing is that you know, right?

Come on, let's go
get you a Loretta-colada.

Hey, you don't want
your copy?

You clean up nice.

You sure Dan won't mind
me borrowing his spare suit?

Oh, yeah, it's fine.
It's not even his good spare.

It's the one he eats ribs in.

Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.

We said no sharing food,
especially the adorable ones.

Well, when I was riding you
like a surfboard into

a wedding cake, I realized
it's not the wedding.

It's us.

I don't want to be casual, Jake.

Oh, me neither.

I'm exhausted
from being so chill.

The truth is I want
to slow dance.

I want to hold hands, and
I want you to meet my mom.

I want to meet your mom
and your dad.

- Still don't know who he is.
- Right.

- Let's start with your mom.
- Alright.

You know what?
I'm gonna go call her.

Okay.

- Just leave the cake-pop.
- Right.

Everyone can relax.
The wedding is safe.

I found our guy.
- Devin?!

[ Chuckles ] It's one of yours.

You can't prove I did anything.

You're a witness, counselor.

You're right.

Sure you're bitter
that Loretta got the promotion,

but to sabotage a whole wedding?
Mnh-mnh.

That'd take a far greater
mind than yours.

Well, joke's on you because
this isn't a real wedding.

I planted a fake officiant,
and these two never got married.

Wait, weren't not
really married?

I can feel you smiling.

And I can feel you needing
an officiant.

- She just talking about her.
- I'm talking about me!

All rise.

The wedding is now in session.

Welcome, everyone,
to Roz and Loretta take two.

I know this wasn't your
first choice of venue.

Or second.

We almost converted to get
a synagogue on Long Island.

But I think this place is
very special.

My dad always said
a million stories came in

through these court room doors.

And I personally think
the best kind is a love story.

Roz and Loretta,

we are so incredibly lucky
to be witnessing

the official beginning
of your love story here tonight.

Move it along, Stone.
The deejay's on clock.

By the power vested me by
the State of New York,

I sentence you
to eternity together.

$50 fine and time served.
Oh, sorry, reflex.

[ Applause ]

I don't know why I'm crying.
I don't even know these people.

You know something?

We keep dancing like this,
Loretta is gonna get jealous.

I'm just distracting you
so she can steal your wallet

and get us a better gift.

Oh, isn't the best gift
friendship?

Fine. I'll get you some booze.

- May I cut in?
- Uh, really? I--

Don't talk. I have a feeling
you're ruin it.

- Usually.
- Always.

Abby.
Hey, this is my mom, Susan.

Oh, it's so nice to meet you.

I'd say I've heard so much
about you,

but Jake and I were keep it at
cazsh until like 20 minutes ago.

That's funny because
he told me all about you.

Thanks, Mom. I'll get you
something from the bar.

Your drink still
Scotch and blabbermouth?

So, is this your
first time in New York?

No, I lived here in the '80s.

Before I had Jake,

I actually dated a lawyer
who worked in this courthouse.

What a small world.

I wonder if the guy
you dated knew...

Huh.

How long before Jake was born
did you date this lawyer?

- A little under a year.
- [ Gasps ]

I'm out of cake pops,

and I think that Dan
might be your boyfriend's dad.

Just so you know, I am real bad
at keeping secrets.

It's funny.