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1
00:01:05,031 --> 00:01:06,931
(GROWLING)
2
00:01:49,275 --> 00:01:50,299
(SNARLS)
3
00:02:01,821 --> 00:02:03,686
No! No!
4
00:02:04,090 --> 00:02:05,421
(SCREAMS)
5
00:02:05,458 --> 00:02:07,824
Domo!
6
00:02:08,428 --> 00:02:10,089
You ranted, sir?
7
00:02:10,130 --> 00:02:11,563
(MOJO CRYING)
8
00:02:11,598 --> 00:02:14,965
I'm ruined! Ratings are off.
9
00:02:15,502 --> 00:02:20,064
Video's in the toilet.
My sponsors want to deep-fry me!
10
00:02:22,475 --> 00:02:25,911
And your action figures aren't selling!
11
00:02:26,045 --> 00:02:28,707
You designed the show. So change it.
12
00:02:29,282 --> 00:02:30,374
(SCOFFS)
13
00:02:30,416 --> 00:02:34,011
Change it? You cold sore!
14
00:02:37,157 --> 00:02:38,988
Just try replacing me!
15
00:02:39,025 --> 00:02:41,994
You've abused every decent actor
in the galaxy.
16
00:02:42,028 --> 00:02:44,895
You're a soulless, sadistic bag of pus,
17
00:02:44,931 --> 00:02:46,796
and you smell!
18
00:02:47,200 --> 00:02:48,724
(EXCLAIMS)
19
00:02:48,768 --> 00:02:53,296
Flattery, young man,
will get you absolutely nowhere!
20
00:02:53,339 --> 00:02:55,102
(LAUGHING)
21
00:02:55,141 --> 00:02:56,267
You little vermin!
22
00:02:56,309 --> 00:02:59,005
(BARKING) You're all dog meat!
Look at this.
23
00:02:59,512 --> 00:03:00,570
(GRUNTS)
24
00:03:00,613 --> 00:03:03,173
See this nose hair?
It can act better than you!
25
00:03:03,583 --> 00:03:07,246
Actually, if I hold it up to the light,
it looks like you, in a tuxedo!
26
00:03:11,925 --> 00:03:14,689
He had a point, O Bulbous One.
27
00:03:17,263 --> 00:03:18,992
What do you mean?
28
00:03:19,532 --> 00:03:21,261
(STOMACH GROWLING)
29
00:03:23,703 --> 00:03:25,261
(BELCHES)
30
00:03:26,372 --> 00:03:27,600
Tell me we have a replacement.
31
00:03:27,640 --> 00:03:28,664
(BELCHES)
32
00:03:29,642 --> 00:03:31,007
Tell me, please!
33
00:03:31,511 --> 00:03:35,777
Nothing proven,
Most Congealed Master.
34
00:03:39,118 --> 00:03:41,916
The X-Men. A bit primitive,
35
00:03:41,955 --> 00:03:46,085
and from a backwater dimension
we don't usually bother with.
36
00:03:46,826 --> 00:03:48,691
Do I look like a man that cares?
37
00:03:48,728 --> 00:03:49,956
(MOJO SPITS)
38
00:03:49,996 --> 00:03:51,861
I don't care! Get them!
39
00:03:51,898 --> 00:03:55,163
Mojo can make a star out of anyone!
40
00:03:55,868 --> 00:03:59,395
Instantaneous test numbers
are good in all dimensions,
41
00:03:59,439 --> 00:04:02,237
O Potentate of Programming.
42
00:04:03,376 --> 00:04:05,742
The passion! The drama!
43
00:04:05,778 --> 00:04:06,972
(MOJO WHOOPING)
44
00:04:07,013 --> 00:04:09,072
(LAUGHING)
And we can get them cheap!
45
00:04:09,449 --> 00:04:13,317
I'm making money just standing here
thinking about it! Am I standing?
46
00:04:13,353 --> 00:04:15,617
You may have done it again.
47
00:04:16,055 --> 00:04:19,286
Of course I have! I am a genius!
48
00:04:19,325 --> 00:04:22,055
Get Mojo the X-Men!
49
00:04:25,298 --> 00:04:26,925
(MOJO LAUGHING)
50
00:04:27,634 --> 00:04:30,865
This is the finest television
available today.
51
00:04:30,903 --> 00:04:33,929
Digital everything. 1,300 scan lines.
52
00:04:33,973 --> 00:04:36,203
Does it have a built-in surge protector?
53
00:04:36,276 --> 00:04:40,576
Our last television
met with an unfortunate accident.
54
00:04:40,613 --> 00:04:44,310
-Accident? I don't understand.
-You'd have to know Jubilee.
55
00:04:44,350 --> 00:04:47,410
She won't have any trouble
with our new remote control.
56
00:04:48,888 --> 00:04:49,946
Uh-uh.
57
00:04:49,989 --> 00:04:52,890
-Don't touch that dial!
-That's odd.
58
00:04:52,925 --> 00:04:55,450
(LAUGHS) Hey, I warned you!
59
00:04:55,495 --> 00:04:57,224
(SALES CLERK GROANS)
60
00:04:58,631 --> 00:05:01,657
Nobody tunes out Mojovision!
61
00:05:01,701 --> 00:05:03,692
CYCLOPS:
Who are you? What do you want?
62
00:05:03,736 --> 00:05:05,397
(MOJO EXCLAIMS)
63
00:05:05,438 --> 00:05:08,669
Let's not get off
on the wrong foot, bubby.
64
00:05:08,708 --> 00:05:10,403
(MOJO LAUGHING)
65
00:05:11,511 --> 00:05:13,240
Can we talk?
66
00:05:13,880 --> 00:05:16,440
I've had my eye on your career.
Forceful, heroic.
67
00:05:16,482 --> 00:05:19,246
(BELCHES) Loved what you did
with the Sentinels! Star potential!
68
00:05:19,719 --> 00:05:22,483
Sorry, it must have been the producer
I had for lunch.
69
00:05:22,522 --> 00:05:25,650
I mean, the thing with the eye blasts.
Talk about your x-ray specs,
70
00:05:25,692 --> 00:05:28,024
baby, you'll knock them dead!
71
00:05:28,461 --> 00:05:31,453
Who are you?
Is this some kind of sick joke?
72
00:05:31,497 --> 00:05:34,864
Cyclops, sweetheart!
73
00:05:35,368 --> 00:05:40,135
I'm offering you X-Men
a lifetime contract!
74
00:05:40,306 --> 00:05:42,570
With the standard
non-survival clauses.
75
00:05:42,608 --> 00:05:43,666
Don't worry, it's just a formality.
76
00:05:43,710 --> 00:05:47,669
I'm still not sure what you're selling,
pal, but we're leaving.
77
00:05:47,714 --> 00:05:49,147
A rejection!
78
00:05:50,083 --> 00:05:52,916
Well well I should have known better
79
00:05:52,952 --> 00:05:57,082
than to try to help out some
ungrateful amateur act from a...
80
00:05:57,123 --> 00:05:59,819
From a dirt-bag dimension like yours!
81
00:05:59,859 --> 00:06:03,022
Who do you think you are?
You're nothing! A nobody!
82
00:06:04,030 --> 00:06:07,329
And nobody says "No" to Mojo!
83
00:06:08,334 --> 00:06:09,961
(BOTH GROANING)
84
00:06:11,104 --> 00:06:12,765
(MOJO LAUGHING)
85
00:06:14,874 --> 00:06:17,206
Listen up, one-eye.
86
00:06:17,243 --> 00:06:20,235
I make the program decisions
around herel
87
00:06:25,385 --> 00:06:26,943
(MOJO LAUGHING)
88
00:06:30,223 --> 00:06:31,918
(CYCLOPS GROANS)
89
00:06:35,395 --> 00:06:38,228
JEAN:
Stop it! He can't survive much more!
90
00:06:39,132 --> 00:06:41,293
Tell it to a lawyer.
91
00:06:41,334 --> 00:06:43,632
Do I interfere
in your contract negotiations?
92
00:06:43,669 --> 00:06:46,229
Like I need some
two-bit supporting actress
93
00:06:46,272 --> 00:06:48,797
telling me how to run my business!
94
00:06:53,780 --> 00:06:56,340
What is this? The Fourth of July?
95
00:06:56,382 --> 00:06:58,509
Scott! Are you all right?
96
00:06:58,551 --> 00:07:03,318
(GASPS) Now that's what I call
entertainment! Spiral!
97
00:07:03,356 --> 00:07:06,814
Would you show our cast to the studio
and call wardrobe?
98
00:07:06,859 --> 00:07:08,588
They look like they dressed out
of a dumpster!
99
00:07:08,628 --> 00:07:10,186
(LAUGHING) I mean, really.
100
00:07:11,798 --> 00:07:14,767
Excuse me one moment,
would you, please?
101
00:07:14,801 --> 00:07:17,065
The auditions are closed.
102
00:07:17,103 --> 00:07:19,333
Time to report to the set.
103
00:07:25,578 --> 00:07:27,045
(WOLVERINE GROWLING)
104
00:07:27,079 --> 00:07:28,239
Jean!
105
00:08:03,950 --> 00:08:05,247
(MOJO EXCLAIMS)
106
00:08:05,284 --> 00:08:06,581
MOJO: What an entrance!
107
00:08:06,619 --> 00:08:10,077
Can you hear that applause?
They love you guys!
108
00:08:10,223 --> 00:08:13,624
Stick with me and you,
X-Men, will be stars.
109
00:08:13,993 --> 00:08:16,962
Not like that ungrateful has-been...
110
00:08:16,996 --> 00:08:22,127
-What's his name?
-Longshot, O Depraved Omelet.
111
00:08:22,435 --> 00:08:23,732
MOJO: Longshot.
112
00:08:23,769 --> 00:08:25,498
(MOJO SPITS)
113
00:08:25,872 --> 00:08:28,102
He'll never eat lunch
in this universe again!
114
00:08:28,140 --> 00:08:31,598
He's gone, he's history, he's jet fumes.
115
00:08:31,644 --> 00:08:35,512
DOMO: He is forgotten,
O Corrupter of Crania.
116
00:08:35,615 --> 00:08:38,948
You've got about 10 seconds
to send us back!
117
00:08:39,218 --> 00:08:44,246
Excuse me, are you threatening me?
118
00:08:44,290 --> 00:08:45,951
(ALL LAUGHING)
119
00:08:45,992 --> 00:08:47,892
Hey, hey, hey, this isn't a comedy!
120
00:08:47,927 --> 00:08:49,758
If you can't keep your lines straight,
121
00:08:49,795 --> 00:08:52,662
I can write you out of the first act!
122
00:08:52,698 --> 00:08:54,256
Power tends to corrupt,
123
00:08:54,300 --> 00:08:57,792
and absolute power
corrupts absolutely,
124
00:08:57,837 --> 00:08:59,737
as seems evident.
125
00:08:59,772 --> 00:09:02,002
Hey, furball, you had all your shots?
126
00:09:02,041 --> 00:09:06,842
And what, pray tell, are you
X-Men going to give this
127
00:09:06,879 --> 00:09:09,609
mind-numbed bunch of couch potatoes
128
00:09:09,649 --> 00:09:12,777
and the trillions watching at home?
What do they want to see?
129
00:09:13,452 --> 00:09:15,920
Peace? Freedom?
130
00:09:16,322 --> 00:09:18,620
(LAUGHING) Maybe good government?
131
00:09:20,459 --> 00:09:25,089
They want blood and guts
and love and hate.
132
00:09:25,197 --> 00:09:28,132
They want entertainment!
133
00:09:28,601 --> 00:09:32,037
You give them action! Action! Action!
134
00:09:32,071 --> 00:09:33,766
(WHISTLES)
135
00:09:34,040 --> 00:09:35,268
(SCREAMING)
136
00:09:35,308 --> 00:09:36,798
(MIMICS GUN FIRING)
137
00:09:40,146 --> 00:09:42,706
The X-Men don't fight without a reason!
138
00:09:42,748 --> 00:09:46,081
Violence and destruction
are not forms of amusement.
139
00:09:46,118 --> 00:09:47,847
(EXCLAIMS)
140
00:09:47,887 --> 00:09:51,983
Trust me, O My Performing Cattle,
they are!
141
00:09:52,024 --> 00:09:54,356
And if ratings don't go up
with every show,
142
00:09:54,393 --> 00:09:59,330
I'll cancel the series
and its performers permanently!
143
00:09:59,365 --> 00:10:04,325
Control room, it's showtime!
144
00:10:10,943 --> 00:10:13,468
-What happened to Storm?
-Scott!
145
00:10:27,593 --> 00:10:32,053
-How did we get out here?
-l think we can thank our friend Mojo.
146
00:10:32,832 --> 00:10:34,356
(EXPLOSIONS)
147
00:10:36,569 --> 00:10:38,764
-Where did that come from?
-Over there!
148
00:10:43,676 --> 00:10:46,372
-Torpedo!
-This one's mine.
149
00:10:58,391 --> 00:11:00,120
Now to give them the slip.
150
00:11:08,868 --> 00:11:10,563
(MOJO EXCLAIMING)
151
00:11:12,638 --> 00:11:14,333
(MOJO LAUGHING)
152
00:11:18,210 --> 00:11:19,472
We can't outrun those!
153
00:11:19,512 --> 00:11:22,140
STORM: I shall deal
with the airborne threat!
154
00:11:28,120 --> 00:11:31,647
Wind and water, whirl and rage!
155
00:11:42,301 --> 00:11:44,166
MOJO: Bravo! Bravo!
156
00:11:54,380 --> 00:11:55,642
(GROANS)
157
00:11:56,182 --> 00:11:58,844
Cyclops! We must abandon ship!
158
00:12:04,256 --> 00:12:08,590
(LAUGHING) Now that's what I call
a slam-bang ending!
159
00:12:08,627 --> 00:12:10,254
(CROWD CHEERING)
160
00:12:18,637 --> 00:12:20,605
(CROWD CHEERING)
161
00:12:20,639 --> 00:12:23,472
Listen to that audience response!
162
00:12:24,777 --> 00:12:28,144
I'm getting numbers here that
mathematicians have never heard of.
163
00:12:28,848 --> 00:12:31,783
The ratings are going through the roof!
164
00:12:33,953 --> 00:12:35,511
(GROANING)
165
00:12:36,122 --> 00:12:39,853
I may have to let them live.
166
00:12:39,959 --> 00:12:41,392
JEAN: You're sick!
167
00:12:41,427 --> 00:12:43,054
(MOJO EXCLAIMS)
168
00:12:43,095 --> 00:12:45,859
Scott and Storm are human beings!
169
00:12:46,065 --> 00:12:49,057
You can't destroy them,
just to keep people amused!
170
00:12:49,135 --> 00:12:51,535
Do I look like a man that cares?
171
00:12:52,705 --> 00:12:56,766
Hey, control room,
bring up show number two.
172
00:12:57,176 --> 00:12:59,041
Control room.
173
00:12:59,512 --> 00:13:01,275
MOJO: Control room!
174
00:13:01,781 --> 00:13:04,545
We've got to get somebody to
help with the filing.
175
00:13:10,656 --> 00:13:12,180
Where's Rogue?
176
00:13:15,928 --> 00:13:20,297
MOJO:
Out of the blackness of space comes...
177
00:13:21,367 --> 00:13:23,426
Rogue Star!
178
00:13:30,442 --> 00:13:33,673
MOJO: I tell you, this gal, Rogue, is big!
179
00:13:33,712 --> 00:13:36,442
Every kid in your dimension
will give her right arm
180
00:13:36,515 --> 00:13:38,710
for a pair of Rogue gloves!
181
00:13:39,351 --> 00:13:40,875
What's going on, Beast?
182
00:13:42,721 --> 00:13:44,382
ROGUE: Looks like old blubber guts
183
00:13:44,423 --> 00:13:46,789
stuck us in
some high-tech shooting gallery.
184
00:13:55,701 --> 00:13:56,895
Oh, dear.
185
00:14:02,374 --> 00:14:05,207
Deft maneuver, my dear.
But a bit breathtaking.
186
00:14:06,045 --> 00:14:09,412
We may be outgunned.
But this little honey sure can handle.
187
00:14:11,250 --> 00:14:14,048
MOJO: Stupendous!
188
00:14:16,555 --> 00:14:17,579
(BEAST SCREAMS)
189
00:14:24,730 --> 00:14:26,288
(SCREECHING)
190
00:14:26,665 --> 00:14:27,791
We are stable,
191
00:14:27,833 --> 00:14:31,929
but I fear our course
is taking us into the sun!
192
00:14:33,272 --> 00:14:35,467
Dang-blasted thing won't turn!
193
00:14:35,608 --> 00:14:38,475
-Hey!
-Rogue!
194
00:14:38,510 --> 00:14:42,139
Unhand her, you repulsive reptilians!
195
00:14:55,661 --> 00:14:57,094
(GRUNTING)
196
00:14:59,698 --> 00:15:01,359
(BEAST SCREAMING)
197
00:15:07,339 --> 00:15:10,467
Beast! Beast! Beast!
198
00:15:13,746 --> 00:15:15,577
MOJO: That's colossal!
199
00:15:16,482 --> 00:15:17,779
(MOJO MIMICS EXPLOSION)
200
00:15:17,816 --> 00:15:19,283
(EXCLAIMS)
201
00:15:20,286 --> 00:15:21,776
I give it two flippers up.
202
00:15:32,932 --> 00:15:34,160
Next!
203
00:15:40,306 --> 00:15:44,333
And now it's Wolverine, starring in...
204
00:15:50,783 --> 00:15:52,080
I Dream of Jean!
205
00:15:52,117 --> 00:15:53,812
Let's give it up.
Push that applause button, Spiral.
206
00:15:53,852 --> 00:15:55,080
Let's rock 'n' roll.
207
00:16:03,162 --> 00:16:07,531
Wolverine! Listen!
Mojo said it's only entertainment.
208
00:16:07,733 --> 00:16:08,927
He won't let us win!
209
00:16:08,968 --> 00:16:11,300
He's controlling everything
that happens!
210
00:16:11,337 --> 00:16:12,736
I'm going to try...
211
00:16:12,771 --> 00:16:13,999
(JEAN SCREAMS)
212
00:16:14,039 --> 00:16:18,669
-Jean!
-MQOJO: What a love story!
213
00:16:19,645 --> 00:16:22,546
Am I moved by this mush, or what?
214
00:16:27,653 --> 00:16:29,484
(WOLVERINE GRUNTING)
215
00:16:36,762 --> 00:16:41,199
MOJO: The highest ratings ever
for an educational show!
216
00:16:43,769 --> 00:16:46,966
Entertainment. It's just television.
217
00:16:47,272 --> 00:16:50,241
Electronic images
created by machines.
218
00:16:54,246 --> 00:16:57,306
-Logan!
-Hang on, Jean!
219
00:16:59,184 --> 00:17:02,085
Electronic images
created by machines,
220
00:17:02,488 --> 00:17:06,322
and machines can be affected
by psycho-kinetic energy!
221
00:17:07,559 --> 00:17:10,722
(STAMMERING) What... What is this?
222
00:17:13,399 --> 00:17:15,264
(CROWD BOOING)
223
00:17:17,036 --> 00:17:18,094
No!
224
00:17:20,406 --> 00:17:22,567
Control room!
225
00:17:22,975 --> 00:17:25,671
What are you doing up there?
Sitting on your hands!
226
00:17:26,612 --> 00:17:29,809
MOJO ON SPEAKER:
Go to a commerciall Go to reruns!
227
00:17:29,848 --> 00:17:32,339
Go to an infomercial! Go to something!
228
00:17:32,384 --> 00:17:35,842
I'm losing my audience
to a bunch of dead trees!
229
00:17:36,188 --> 00:17:39,646
-SPIRAL: What are you doing here?
-I'm setting the X-Men free.
230
00:17:40,692 --> 00:17:43,286
So they can get out of my time slot.
231
00:17:54,373 --> 00:17:58,776
Hey, hey, hey!
You make them into stars
232
00:17:59,411 --> 00:18:02,039
and they just turn on you.
233
00:18:02,081 --> 00:18:03,139
No!
234
00:18:03,182 --> 00:18:05,673
How about giving me a lift, Rogue?
235
00:18:06,018 --> 00:18:07,645
ROGUE: Any time, sugar.
236
00:18:07,753 --> 00:18:10,881
Hold it!
237
00:18:10,923 --> 00:18:15,223
This, if you haven't been paying
attention, is my dimension!
238
00:18:15,360 --> 00:18:20,059
Get with the program or get crushed!
239
00:18:20,099 --> 00:18:21,896
(SCREAMS)
240
00:18:24,236 --> 00:18:26,033
(CROWD CHEERING)
241
00:18:38,584 --> 00:18:39,846
(GROANS)
242
00:18:48,794 --> 00:18:51,456
Can someone please tell me
what just happened?
243
00:18:58,604 --> 00:19:01,573
DOMO:
Everything that Mojo created is gone.
244
00:19:02,641 --> 00:19:04,836
Especially the audience.
245
00:19:04,877 --> 00:19:08,836
Well, nothing lasts forever,
especially in television.
246
00:19:09,081 --> 00:19:12,517
Did I tell you I used to go out
with an actress with two heads?
247
00:19:12,551 --> 00:19:16,043
-Yeah? Was she nice?
-LONGSHOT: Yes and no.
248
00:19:19,992 --> 00:19:21,619
Bubula!
249
00:19:22,494 --> 00:19:25,156
Come here. Come here, yeah.
250
00:19:25,197 --> 00:19:26,425
(KISSING)
251
00:19:27,199 --> 00:19:29,497
You look great. Lost weight?
Had the face-lift? Whatever.
252
00:19:29,568 --> 00:19:34,005
Listen, it's time we did
a fresh start, you know.
253
00:19:34,039 --> 00:19:37,372
Now, we did a little re-think on that
re-write for a re-group on a re-draft.
254
00:19:37,409 --> 00:19:41,607
No, I'm talking new show,
new time slot, new dimension,
255
00:19:41,647 --> 00:19:45,242
bigger hair, less money.
The whole nine yards!
256
00:19:46,418 --> 00:19:47,908
(MOJO LAUGHING)
257
00:19:49,988 --> 00:19:54,049
Look! A jungle picture!
258
00:19:55,060 --> 00:19:56,288
(SCREECHING)
259
00:20:01,166 --> 00:20:03,191
XAVIER: That must be your Citadel.
260
00:20:03,235 --> 00:20:07,729
Yes, when I built it,
I felt I was creating a new world here.
261
00:20:07,773 --> 00:20:09,172
(WOMAN SCREAMING)
262
00:20:14,880 --> 00:20:17,110
Magneto, we must help her!
263
00:20:18,884 --> 00:20:20,374
(GROANING)
264
00:20:21,119 --> 00:20:22,552
No, Charles!
265
00:20:24,790 --> 00:20:27,452
The creature attacking the woman
is Sauron.
266
00:20:27,492 --> 00:20:30,256
His powers would make him
a dangerous foe,
267
00:20:30,295 --> 00:20:32,388
even if we still had our own.
268
00:20:39,605 --> 00:20:41,698
There is nothing we can do.
19590
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