Original subtitles

( Dogs barking )

( TirQs spuoaling )

( Dogs barking )

- GQ and gQt thQ dQgs.

CQry, Mows!

CQmo Qc, nQw. OPon yQur mouth.

OPcn yQur mQuth, oh?

Lcarn tQ oPProciato yQur fQQd, oh?

CQmParod tQ what you sQo uP

in that di littlQ CantQQn Qf yQurs,

thiS iS a throo-star suPPor.

You must lQarn tho rulQs.

I nood tQ oot ond drick thQ vQry boGt

and that's QxPonsivo.

Havc you ovQr hoord Qf chickon å la Reine Marie

or oyster sauce MorDay or trog's Iegs Parisienne?

NQ. 'CQursQ you havQc't.

Tako his pantS down! Tako his pantS down.

( DQgs barking, yQIPing )

( Man scrQaming )

Oh dQar, Oh dQor, Oh door.

Didn't yQur daddy tQach you tQ wiPo yQur bQffQm, Oh?

- Alherti Leave him alone-

- CQmo On, lQt's Qat. - Oh, lct'S Qat.

BofQrQ wQ oat, OcQrgina,

wQ must fQQd and watQr thQ animals.

RQy!

This is my wifc, GeQrgina Spica.

Sho's gQt a hcart Qf gQld and a body tQ match.

I am AlbQrt SPica ond I havo a hoart Qf gQld

acd a grQat dQal Qf mQnQy tQ match.

And you arQ RQy, whQ's got absQlutcly nQthing,

cxccPt whot you QwQ mQ.

You aro humiliatQd ic frQct Qf a lady.

YQu'rQ humiliatod in frQnt Qf us.

GQQr0ica, I'll bo aG qoick as I pQssibly can.

You gQ and gQt mo sQmQ hQt wator, Oh?

Acd a towQI and soaP.

NQw-- yQah.

UQw I'vQ givon you a 0QQd dinnor ond you Can havo a nicQ drink.

NQw, you bQhavQ yQursQlf ic futurQ and Pay whcn I aGk you.

- NQ, nQ, cQ!

- Or noxt timQ I'll makQ you oat yQur own shit

affcr hrSt fQrcing it Qut Qf you

through your dick like toothraste-

No, rut that away, Srangler.

CQr blimQy, thoro's a lady Prosent.

ShQ dQcSn't won't tQ GQQ yQur Ghrivolod cQntributions.

Ah. That'G it.

Thank you very much.

UiCo, clQan... givo mo that tQwol!

OivQ mQ that.

Yoah.

I ncvQr likQd thot ChinQso fQQd but lQQking at you nQw,

I likQ it evQn loGs.

RightQ, bQys!

WQ must surprisQ Richard On Qur annivQrsary.

Bring thc lofforG.

OcQrgic, you gQt smudgQ On your facQ and ash On yQur tits.

If yQu'rQ gonna wcar black, dQn't GmQkQ.

You lQok likQ a tart in black.

- It'G nQt block, it's bluQ.

- It's black, acd don't smQkQ.

Ił's sloppy in a woman.

Sesides, no one who's going to eat smokes.

It ruins yQur tastQ budG, burnG yQur tQnguQ

and makQs yQur Pee stick.

- Rubbish.

- It's not bloody rubbish.

L'vQ GmQlt thQ lQQ affQr yQu've bccn Piddling ic thQrQ.

WhQn arc you gQnno loarn, smartarso?

- ♪ Have mercy uron me-.- ♪

- CQmc On, hurry uP, bQys.

- ♪ Have mercy uron me-.- ♪

- RightQ, lads, got thQm numbors uP thorc, SPica & BQarst.

- ♪ SIQt Qut my transgrQssiQns ♪

♪ FurgQ mQ with hysGQp ♪

♪ And I Shall bc clcan ♪

♪ Wasb mQ... ♪

♪ Wash mc ♪

♪ And I shall bQ whiter than snQw. ♪

- Whoro'G Richord?

- Ho's PIucking.

- Ho's Plucking, Oh? Richard!

Richard! WhQrQ aro you?

StQp that Plucking. WhQrQ aro you?

NQw what's that?

That's A-S-R...

that's nQnscnSQ.

SPcll it right, fQr Christ's sokQ.

BIQQdy holl. Richard!

Rich-- ah!

Thoro you ore, Richord.

Now, loavQ that Qut and cQmQ and SQQ what I'vQ gQt you, Oh?

L'vQ brQught you a prQsont.

This is Qur annivorsary.

Throo mQnths Qf mutual undQrstanding, Qb, Ricbard?

Throo months sincQ I first invitQd you

tQ be my favQritQ restauratQur.

- Mr. SPica, this is a duck.

Ducks aro hQrn witb tbQ fQathors On,

but it's yQur dinncr, Mr. SPica.

If you want tho foothQrs tQ romain,

wo cQuld try tho dish,

I suPPQsQ, by lQoving tho foathQrs as thoy arQ.

( SPcaking FrQnch )

- MitChol, you mulQ.

HQrQ, Ricbard, cQmQ and GQQ, cQmQ On.

Hurry uP, hurry uP. RloasQ, I bQg you.

ComQ on.

HQrQ, GQQrgino, hQw many timQS havQ I tQld you?

NQ smQking in thc kitchQn.

MitchQl, 0Qt your arsc dQwn horo quick.

ComQ on.

NQw, Richard, this is yQur-- wQll, Qur-- Qur nQw sign.

Da-da-da-da-da-da!

WallQP!

( Chccring )

( Hissing )

- Oh, GQd!

- RiChard.

It's dark in thc rQGtouront.

- Ycs, RhilliPo.

ThankS tQ Mr. SPica's gQnQrQsity,

it is dark Qvorywhorc.

No rower, no Iight-

Were you thinking ot a cold öuffet tonight, Mr. Srica?

- Sut I don't want a cold öuffet.

- Paté d'aloueftes with a chicQry SaucQ.

- Patö d'alouerfes with a cbiCory saucc.

- Rrine de Caneton. - Terrine de Caneton.

- CQld turkcy with lomQn and basilica.

- CQld turkey with thQ lomQn and basilica.

- AnchQviQG ic garlic vicQgar.

- It dQQsn't havQ tQ bo cQld, yQu'vo gQt gas.

You#ve gQt 0as, fQr GQd's sakc!

( WhistlQs )

- Oot an arse on her like two greased watermelons in a sack.

- Cold chicken, rałé d'alouerfes,

salade de Iangoustine,

gätoau dQ corQffQs ot GruyérQ...

- You-- you Put thcm QIQCtriCs right, MitChol.

Put thom oloctrics right Qr...

- You don't eat. - You dQn't Qat.

I tQld you nQt tQ smQko.

- I GhQuld Gtond still, Mr. SPica.

Or whQ knQws?

You might sroil something, rut your foot in something.

- So, a hot meal for tonight, eh, Richard?

SQmQthing sPocial, PleaGo, Oh?

HQw abQut somQ-- sQmo IQs hQrs d'QQuvrQs, Qr,

gåteau au Poivres, terrine et fillet Iamh

et poison au er, roi, roi--

- It's roisson- - What did you say, GQQrgiQ?

What did you say tQ mQ? What did you say?

What did you say? What did you say?

- FQissQn.

( Chccring )

- WQll, Mr. SPica, I hQPQ you arc hungry.

- Always. Oct in thQrQ, bQyG.

OQ On, GoQrgio, you go in thoro, raisQ yQur skirts

and warm my soat.

Eh, what dQ you think thQn, oh, Richord?

( CrashQs )

- If you GpQct as mucb mQcey On tho mcal, Mr. SPica,

as you wastQ On tho dQcor,

yQur tastQ in gQQd fQQd must suroly imPrQvo.

- You'll cheek me once too often, Soarst-

You rely on me, don't forget that.

Without me, you, a foreigner,

you wouldn't last long around here.

You look out there, see what I've örought you.

Two vans full of good stuff, just right tor your kitchen-

- I would not touch it.

- Why on earth not?

- I insist on huying my own food, Mr. Srica.

Then I can öe sure ot its guality-

- I roProsQnt quality rQund horo, SQarst.

My name is knQwn fQr it.

I Qffor quality and PrQtQctiQn.

- FrQtoctiQn againGt what, I wQndQr, Mr. Spico?

And whQm?

- RrQtQctiQn, BQarst, against thQ raGh tQmPcr Qf my mQn.

Against a GuddQn arrival Qf fQQd PQisQning.

Against rats.

AgaiDst the puhlic health inspector-

- It you are hungry tonight, Mr. Spica,

you are going to have to wait-

Do uP thQ third buttQn Qf yQur cxPQnsivQ jackQt, Mr. SPica.

YQu'll fQQl loss cmPty inSidQ, Mr. SPica.

- You Can't make me wait.

- ♪ Deliver me ♪

♪ rrom hlood-guiltiness ♪

♪ O God ♪

My tongue shall sing aloud

♪ Of Thy righteousness ♪

♪ Have mercy uron me ♪

♪ Slot out my transgressions ♪

♪ O Lord ♪

♪ Open Thou my Iips ♪

♪ And my mouth shall show forth Thy praise ♪

♪ And my mQuth shall shQw forth Thy PraisQ ♪

♪ And my mQuth sholl GhQw fQrth Thy Praisc ♪

♪ And my mouth ♪

T Shall show forth Thy rraise. ♪

( SPQaking GQffly )

- No. You dQn't Qat it likQ that!

Let mo GhQw you.

Oh, imaginQ you arc sucking thQ little fingorG

Qf a lady Qr-- nQ.

You wouldn't undorGtond that sinco you wQuld nQvQr

gQt that clQso tQ a lady.

WhQ'd wanna got that clQsQ tQ you, fQr God'G Gake?

- I wQuldn't bQ sQ intQrQstQd in hQr hngQrs.

- That'G thQ GQrt Qf rQmark I'd cxPQct yQu'd mako.

YQu'd just bo intont On wbipping it in,

whipping it out and wiPing it On yQur jackQt.

Look at your jacket, it's like a pig field.

Acd yQur nails cQuld dQ with a clQon.

SbQw mo yQur nails.

God.

Why can't I havQ sQmQ blQQdy pualify in my assQciatQs?

FrQm nQw On, anyono who's nQt PrQPorly washod and droSsod

fQr dinner is gQnna bavo tQ Pay fQr it.

I'm gonna have to give you IessoDs.

I'll writQ it all dQwn. GoQrgino Can tyPQ it out.

"UQtos FQr GQurmQts."

That's FrQnch fQr a gQQd Qator, iSn't it, BQorGt?

( BurPG )

- GQurmots dQc#t bolch.

- On thc cQntrory, On tho cQntrary. TbQy dQ.

It GbQwG tbat you arQ cnjQying a mQal.

NQt with yQur fic0Qrs, SPanglor!

Ood, that's all you understand, isn't it?

Things you cat with yQur hands whilst walking dQwn thQ Gtroot.

- You tQld MQwG tQ Qot thQ cQIQry with hiS fingorG.

- Well, that's different, you dope.

And it's asraragus, not celery.

What's the roint of me sinking thousaDds

into a resłaurant if you rersist

in refusing to eat rrorerly?

Toll bim, Goorgina.

- TQll him what?

- Just cQPy GQQrgica. ShQ kcQws hQw tQ dQ it.

Cory, get Richard in here.

I want my Gign fixcd uP, brQught in hQrQ

and put On that wall QvQr thQ kitchQn door.

If Ricbard was mQro intorostod in slQgans,

hc'd dQ mQrQ businQss, mokQ mQrQ mQcQy, eh?

This rlace is too dark.

( BurPG )

- Could do with a respray.

GQId, it nQQdG mQrQ gQld.

How about gQld and bluQ?

What do you thiDk, HeDry?

10,999 should do it-- two months' takings.

You should get in there, Henry.

BQarst's pricQG arQ all Qvor tho PIaco.

His hQad'S in tho cloudS.

GQQd CQQk.

Brilliant cQQk!

ExcoPt ho will Put mushrQQms On cvQrything.

HQnry, Put tbat cigarQttQ out.

Do you mind it I eat whilst you smoke?

OordoD choked on a cigarerfe whilst he was eating.

Surnt his epiglottis.

Thatis right, Mitchel, you've got one.

And you don't keer it in your trousers-

( Iaughing )

And you don't put orange rind on the edge of your plate,

it's moant tQ bo thorQ, you dQlt!

What yQu'vo gQt tQ rQalizc iS that a clovQr cQQk

Puts unlikoly things tQgQthQr likQ duck and Qrango,

like pineapple and ham-

It's called artistry-

You knQw, I'm an ortist, thQ way I cQmbicQ

my businoss and my plQasuro.

MQnoy's my businoss, cating's my PlooGurQ.

And OcQrgic's my Plcasuro tQQ, thQugh in a mQro PrivatQ

kind Qf way than stuffing tho mQuth

and fcQding thQ GQwors.

ThQugh tho plQasuros arc rQlatcd,

bocauso tho naughty bits and tho dirty bits

aro sQ clQsQ tQgQthcr

that it just goes to show

how eatiDg and sex are related.

GoQrgio's naughty bits arQ nicQly rQlatcd,

arQn't thQy, GQQrgiQ?

EsPccially whQc shQ's paying mo attQntiQn.

GQQrgiQ.

( GasPs )

- Get Phillipei In tuture,

I want my taöle napkiDs tolded at home, Georgina.

Get Adele to teach you-

Spangler, get ur and get Phillire.

I wanł you to öring Richard here,

I've got to make him a proposition.

And get Adele to get some ot that water

with the Angostura hiffers in it

and some Iemon in the water

and a howl of ice water to wash me tingers.

Henryi Hen give me those glasses off that table.

And the flowers.

This tahle should look the most imrortant taöle in the room.

I like a lot of glasses around,

it highers the toDe.

What's thot?

- A small diGh fQr Madamo Spica, cQmplimonts Qf tho hQuso.

- Sho's nQ madamc. Why havQn't I gQt QnQ?

- I dQubt, Mr. SPica, if yQu'll likQ it.

- Try mQ.

- Wo havo grQwn accustQmod

tQ you bQing a cQnsQativo Qator, Mr. SPica.

- That's nQt truQ, BQorst.

I'm aG advQnturQus as thQ noxt.

- YQur wifc hoG on cxccllcnt Palato, Mr. SPica.

It is always a PlooGurc fQr oG tQ GQe hQr.

- I want one of those hot, damp towels,

Richard, served ło me with tongs.

That Adele is no good with cash and figures.

She's just decorative, all Iips and łits.

We'll replace her.

- CaD I do the rerlacing?

- Stuff your mouth, Mitchel. Eve łime you open it,

you just show how vulgar you can he-

OcQrgina!

WQlcQmQ bock.

Did you wipQ thQ sQat bcfQrQ you parkQd yQur bum?

WQll, you nQvcr knQw what you can catch thQsc dayS.

EvQry tQilot sQat is a minQfiold.

That's tor you.

Richard thought I might like to taste ił,

PcrSQnal cQmplimQnts Qf thQ chQf.

Eat it.

I didn't fancy it, it smelt Qff.

Iris got a canker on her öum trom sirfing on a Ioo seat-

The mechanic across the road

poured batte acid down the WC to clear it.

Some ot it splashed on the seał.

Iris ran screaming out into the street,

hQr backGidQ hissing, yQs.

Sho hosn't boon tho samQ sincc.

Shc striPs thQ Gamo

but cQvor with hor back tQ thQ audicncQ.

Shc hod tQ chongo hor act.

NQw it'G mQrQ full-frQntal.

Whoro arQ you gQing?

- I lQff my lightcr in tho tQilot.

- GQd's sokQ. You dQn't neod it.

- I nQQd it.

Richard, I'm gQing tQ ban GmQking in hQrQ.

From tQmorrow, tho signs aro gQicg uP.

"UQ smoking."

You want tQ thickQn yQur FrQnch occont uP a bit,

Richard, matQ, makQ it sQund as thQugh yQu'vo juGt

cQmo Qvor frQm Raris.

GivQ thQm a bit Qf that QQh-la-la stuff.

Bit moro Qf that parlez-vous tranais?

- TbQn you wQuld nQt ucdQrstand mQ, Mr. Spica.

- I dQn't knQw.

L'vc always bQQn ablQ tQ ucdQrstand FrQnch IQttQrs.

( Iaughtcr )

( Door orens )

( MQaning )

- GoQrgina!

What tbQ holl arQ you dQing in hQrQ?

GoQrgina?

You've öeen in here tor ages, Georgina.

What are you doing, having a baby?

- I'm, or, I'm just--

I'm just having a puiQt smQko.

- Smoke?

- YQah. You kcQw hQw you hatQ mc smQking at tho tablo.

- Ood's sake, Oeorgina.

Why toll mo liQs abQut a lQst lightor?

- I didn't.

I IQff it hQrQ On thQ lcd0Q in frQnt Qf thQ mirrQr.

I'll bQ Qut ic a fow mQmonts.

DQn't hang orQund tho ladiQs',

yQu'II Qnly ombarrass tho CustQmQrs.

- Show me the Iighłer.

- Thore.

DQ you want a cigarQttQ as wQII?

- DQn't bo SQ blQQdy Stupid.

What arQ you doing in thoro, Ocorgina, ch?

( Chuckles )

You playing with yourself?

Thał's not allowed, that's my property.

You're not allowed to tiddle with it.

- Shut uP, AlbQrt.

- CQmc On, QPcn thQ dQQr.

Lct mQ in, I'll shQw you hQw tQ wipQ yQursclf.

- GQ away. I'll bo Qut in o minutQ.

- Wcll, dQn't bo lQng.

I'll QrdQr you sQmc gåteau au roivre.

SQmo protiteroles.

Acd wash your hands.

You dQn't knQw thQ wQmQn whQ uso this placo.

( TQilQt flushQs )

- You tQQk your timQ.

I thought yQu'd likQ mQ tQ wait fQr you.

You smQll nicQ and swQoty.

Wash yQur hands, I'll givQ you a kiss.

- You knQw what thoy say abQut mQn

whQ hang orQund ladios' lavatQriQs?

- Whot dQ thoy say abQut mQn

whQ hang orQund ladios' lavatQriQs?

- ThQy'rQ aGking tQ havo thoir illusiQns shoffQrQd.

- YQab.

You hQld nQ illusiQns fQr mo, OoQrgiQ, Oh?

NQ stQnQ's bQQc loff unturnod.

- LQQk, juGt gQ Qrdor my PrQfitorQlos, will you?

ComQ on.

ComQ on.

( Diners speaking softly)

- I think thQso EthiQPions likQ staing.

You knQw, it kQQPs thQm slim and gracQful,

with thQsQ big hQads and thoSQ drcamy QycS.

You know those kids.

- You're sick.

- Not yet I'm not, hut I might well öe

it you're going to he so rriggish.

- Now, what do you know, OeorgiDa, aöout the starving?

You can have anything you want.

- WhQrQ you bQQn? YQu'rQ latQ.

- It's Fridoy night. ThQrQ's a lQt Qf mQnQy abQut.

- A docQnt man nQods glQvQs tQ tQuch this stuff.

LQt's havQ a lQQk.

Goh, that's just what this rostaurant nQQds.

Start laying thQm Qut.

( BurPG )

- What'G thQ mattQr, MitcbQl? DQn't you Iiko mussols?

You gQt tQ lQarn tQ likQ thQm if yQu'rQ gQing tQ Qat witb mQ.

( BurPG )

- Don't you darQ thrQw uP in hQrQ, MitchQl!

Or I'!I got SPanglor tQ Gtuff 'cm back dQwn yQur thrQat.

( Hurrs )

- That's frQm tbQ Malay rQstaurant in PulcQr StrQQt.

The fQQd pQisQning scarQd them, thQy'ro paying up.

- Well, I'm sure they don't need our assistance with that.

That stuff thoy oat,

thQy'd pQisQn thomsolvQs with it, wQuldn't thQy?

You knQw, GQmo Qf thcm Indians

arc wcll knQwn fQr drinking thoir Qwn pQQ.

The same water would go round and round and round.

Of course, you're houDd to lose some now through evaroration.

Thon yQu'd have tQ tQp it uP.

NQw whQGQ Pcc-- whoSQ Poo wQuld you drink first?

- Um--

- NQw, mQ, I'd havQ a rQady suPPly, wQuldn't I?

GoQrgio and I havQ our littlQ GQssiQcs, don't wQ,

GQQr0iQ, whon wo-- gQQd OQd, what havQ you got tbere?

Ob, Qvon you arQ goffing comPIimonts

frQm tbQ cbQf, nQw oh, arQ you?

Boing a guinQa Pig for a BQarst QxPorimQnt, oro wo?

GQQd OQd, lQQkG likQ, Qr,

fQQd fQr cQnstiPatQd FrQnCh rabbits.

- Albort, why don't you QrdQr mQ sQmo Chianti?

You know I like Chianti.

In the boftle with the wrarring around it, you know.

ThQn I can takc it hQmc and hang it On tho wall.

- GQQd GQd, GracQ, bavon't you gQt QnQugh Qf thom alroady?

- NQ.

- WhQrQ thQ holl arc you gQing?

- TQ tbQ tQilet.

- You havcn't hod anything tQ drink yQt.

Sho's gQt a bladdcr liko a loaky marrow.

DQn't bc lQng!

- You'vc uPsct hQr.

- Rubbish.

DQn't bQ lQng, OoQrgio!

YQu'rQ GQ ta"ativo tQnight,

wQ cQuldn't Stand thQ SilQncc withQut you.

Wash yQur hands!

( Graco lau0hing )

( Iaughter cQnticuQs )

( Arguing )

- That's Qff!

This cuGtord's salfy.

- It is sauce Hollandaise.

Can I hclp you, Mr. Spico?

- I'vQ cQmQ abQut tbQso littlQ GpQcial cQmplimontary dishcS.

In future, I want all the guesłs

at my tahle to receive łhem.

Wby is my fish taking sQ lQcg?

You can carry it in yQursQlf, if you likQ, Mr. Spica.

What aro you lQQking fQr?

- UQthing. You bricg it.

- You would not he Iooking for your wite,

would you, Mr- Spica?

- No, of course not-

- Mr. SPica, I hovQ sQmQthing tQ shQw you.

What is this?

- Now cutlory, Richard.

OivQ yQur rcStaurant sQmc stylc.

I brQught in 300 SQtS.

My mon arQ just rQ-Iaying tho tablQs.

- NQt vory gQod quality, Mr. SPica.

You cQuld usc thcm at hQmo,

Mr. SPica, all 300 Qf thcm.

- WhQrQ havQ you bQQn? WiPing yQur bum?

Which hand did you usQ?

YQur loff QnQ likQ I GhQwod you?

WhQrQ'd you gQt this stuff, Mcws?

It's rubbish, falling aPart. Take 'em bock.

GQt a 150 PQrccnt rcfund.

OQd.

What aro you Qating, GQQrgiQ?

Not muCh.

Ha!

I see ołhers in this restaurant

get the same special arfeDtions.

What is it?

Looks like some sort of wate salade.

Well, that's not up to much.

Expensive, no doubt, öut not fattening.

You've got to keer your strength up.

You're Iooking reaky.

Kidneys, Iiver, iron, thał's what you need.

DQ you knQw a cQw

dricks its Qwn woight in wator twico a weok?

FQr milk, you SQQ, bocauso a cQw's gQt grQat big tits.

Just Iiko you, Oh, GcQrgiQ?

Eh?

You gQntlcmQn will havQ tQ tako it for grantcd

bccausc fQr sQmo rQasQn bcSt knQwn tQ hQrsolf,

shQ's lQff hor bra Qff.

HavQ you, Cory, ovQr tastQd human milk?

I moan, rocQctly.

A!I them yoars a0Q dQc't cQunt.

I moan, you cQuldc#t roally aPProciatc

what you woro onjQying thQn, Could you?

I bet human milk's a great delicacy in some couDtries.

Ił ought to öe here.

CQ you knQw, CQry, whQ cQuld suPPly us with GQmQ human milk?

- Warm, straight frQm thc rccQPtaclQ, sQ tQ spQak?

- CQn't jQko!

It's a prQCiQus cQmmQdity, it'G nQt a jQking maffor!

GoQrgio wQuldn't jQkQ abQut it, wQuld you, GQQrgiQ?

WQuld you, GoQrgio?

Ah, yQu'rQ a crodit tQ wQmcn.

You cQuld shQw thosQ yQung wQmQn a thing Qr twQ nQwadays.

You cQuld tooch thQso young mon a thing Qr two, ch?

Take Miłchel there-

No. On second thoughts, doD't,

'cause he's a crude little hugger.

- If shQ's sQ gQod Albort, hQw ComQ you havQn't gQt any kidG?

- Kids?

Who cQQds kids?

WhQ wants kids?

I want kids.

Wo'll havQ kids QnQ day, GQQrgiQ, won't wc, Oh?

Whon you'rQ blQQdy Qld and gray, mQst liko!

Yoah.

YQur trQublo is you dQn't Qat PrQPQrly.

You know, you should-- you should drink more water

and eat more kidneys,

and thQn you might blQQdy woll havQ a blQQdy baby sQmQday.

GoQrgio dQQsn't likQ babios, dQ you, GQQrgiQ?

You kcQw, somQtimQs, Goorgic, I think you bohavQ likQ a blQko.

- What days aro thQsQ thQn, Albort?

What's it Iiko?

- You what?

Oct away frQm thiG tablQ, you mucky littlQ wimP!

GQ and oat yQur vQgQtablc SQuP in thQ kitchQn,

you dirty littlQ PQQrt!

GQ On, got On with yQur Qating, Oh?

It's Qnly Mitchol making a foQl Qf himsQIf.

NQw, Gtand in thQ cQrnQr. CQry, makQ him a PaPQr hat.

Stand in thc corncr likQ o naughty lifflo hQy.

GQ On. Stand thQrQ.

Take yQur knifQ and fQrk with you.

- Oh, dQn't bo GtuPid.

- StuPid? DQ you want tQ jQin him?

- LQavo him alQnQ.

HQ'S only cQPying you Iiko hQ always dQQs.

You bQhavo, ho'll bohavQ.

I'm loaving.

- YQs, wQ arQ looving.

GraciQ, bQrQ.

Ray tbQ bill and tako a taxi.

Yoah.

OcQrgic and I might gQ for a lifflo drivo.

It'G Qur wodding annivQrSary tQmQrrQw.

Might drivo dQwn tQ thQ sQa,

have sQmQ fuc undor tho PiQr likQ wQ usQd tQ.

OoPs. I am sorry.

Still, thiG iGn't a lihrary, it'G a rQstauract.

Thoy gQt pQQplc fQr that.

Richard.

This nQQds cooking.

Grill it witb sQmo mashed PQas.

( SPcaking FrQnch )

- ♪ Wash me thoroughly ♪

♪ rrom my iniguity ♪

♪ And cleanse me-.- ♪

- What's a yQung lad liko you dQic0 always washing dishos?

That'G wQmon's work, ain't you gQt what it takos?

HQy! My GQd, armQr Plating.

You prQtoct yQursQlf, sQn, you neod it.

IccQConcQ.

That's what I had bQfQro I mot GoQrgio.

IccQConcQ. That's just what thoy wact.

- Albort, cQmQ On, yQu'rQ drunk. ComQ on!

- Shall I sing fQr you?

- What?

- Albert, cQmQ On, hQ's Qnly a child.

- Sing fQr mo, yQs.

YcS, you can sing fQr mc.

Get uP thoro.

You sing, yQab.

You knQw, I was a good singcr when I wos a littlQ boy,

waGc't I, GQQrgiQ?

CQmo Qc, nQw. You sing tQ mo, oh?

ComQ on. Sing, damn you!

- T Wash mo thQrQughly frQm my inipuify ♪

♪ And clQanso... ♪

- You can't kcQp it uP, can you?

UQ. I was a chQirbQy QncQ.

Yos. WQmQn likQ chQirbQyG.

I was almQst a chQirbQy whon I mot OcQrgic.

But you sPQilt oll thot, didn't you?

GoQrgio waS a vcry good cducatiQn fQr mQ.

She cQuld teoch a yQucg man anything.

CQmo On, OQQrgiQ,

shQw tho young bQy what you shQwod mo.

- AlhQrt.

- CQmc On, GhQw tho littlQ bQy what a gQQd tQachor--

- AlhQrt!

- You dQ whot I toll you, will you?

You cQmQ Qut in that cor park witb mQ, bQth Qf you.

ComQ on. Oot in tho car park.

ComQ on.

L'II givQ you thQ boSt QducatiQn.

I'll shQw you whot a grQat toachQr GcQrgiQ can bQ.

- AlhQrt! DQn't hurt him!

LQavo him olQne.

- I'll show you what a grQat toachQr...

Oh, I SQo. I GQQ.

SQ I'm nQt suPPQsQd tQ dQ that?

Right, I'll givQ you an QducatiQn.

- Albort, plQaso lcavQ him alQnQ.

- Oh, nQ. NQw, you stand thoro.

Stand thQrQ and dQn't you movQ.

- Just lQavo him bQ. - You watch thiG.

- NQ. Wait till wQ got homQ, Albcrt.

- GQQrgiQ. GoQrgio, cQmo hQrQ.

- Ah!

- Rigbt.

What-- what'G oll thiG?

You'rQ nQt wQoring any blQQdy knickorG.

With nQ knickQrs Qc-- yQu'vo bQQc sitting

in that rcstaurant with nQ knickQrG On?

With CQry and MitChol and all thQsQ PoQPlo?

What thc blQQdy holl dQos this moan?

WhQrQ are thoy? Givo thom tQ mQ at QncQ.

GQ on. LQQk at this.

Get in that car, you dirty whQrc.

Why dQn't you take ovQrything off?

Oct in thQrQ.

GQ on!

GQt ic tbat car!

NQw you!

You gQt ic thQrQ as wQII.

- NQ!

- OQ On. Oct in thQrQ.

GQt in. - NQ!

( Sobs ) RloasQ!

No! NQ! No! - Got in thoro!

- Right... - ( glasS brcaking )

- NQ!

( ScrQaming )

( DQgs barking )

- ♪ Wash me thoroughly from my iniguity ♪

♪ And cleanse me ♪

♪ Prom my sins ♪

♪ Have mercy upoD me. ♪

- I havQ two minutQs.

- ♪ Purge me with hyssop ♪

♪ Purge me with hyssop ♪

T And I shall öe clean ♪

♪ Wash me Wash me ♪

♪ And I shall öe whiter than snow ♪

♪ Make me to hear thy joy and gladness ♪

♪ That thQ bQnoG that ThQu haSt brQkcn may rcjoicQ. ♪

( ChattQring )

- DQ you knQw, Mitchol, what Prairio QystQrs arQ?

- Fish.

- SQ if sQmoQnQ givQs you a Prairio QyGtor tQ Qat,

what dQ you think you'd bc Qating?

- Fish.

LikQ frQm thc lokQs acd tbat.

Thoy'rQ thQ-- thQ clamG with the littlo PoorlG in.

( Iaughs )

- Rrairio QyGtorG wQuld bc vcry PrQciQus tQ thQir QwnQrs. NQ.

NQw, lQQk, imagino-- just imagino

that that is a PrairiQ QystQr.

NQw, gQ On. Eat that.

GQ on. Rut it in your mouth.

GQ On. GQ On.

NQw, what's it tastQ likQ?

- Wot brood.

- NQ.

It's all Gquishy with gritty bitS in it.

- Tbat's tho sand.

( Iaughs )

- Tbat's tho sand. YQu'ro a cQmic, bQy.

NQ, you mulc. It's gQt a Skin rQund it.

- DQ you sPit thQ skin Qut?

- NQ.

Pick it Qut Qf yQur tQQth affcrwards, and chQmP it up.

NQw, swallQw that, MitchQl, gQ On, swallQw it.

SwallQw it. GQ On, that'S right.

NQw, MitchQl, you havo just QatQn a sbQQp's bQllQck.

Tho nQxt timo I ask you to work fQr mQ, MitChcl,

I'll bo QxPocting you

tQ chQw sQmQQcQ's bQllocks Qff On dQmand.

Oh, yQu'rc back.

What dQ you find in that tQilQt that's sQ fascinatic0?

I'll gQ and havc a Pcc and a look.

What havc thQy gQt sincQ I waG IaGt in thQrQ?

VolvQt scats, di piCturQs?

Froo PQrfumQ?

A Privato drinks bar?

OQd, what o disguGting Smcll in hcrc!

Must bo tho Pigs using it, Oh?

HQw disguSting it iG.

Ha! Ugh, how hQrriblo.

Disgusting.

RQvQltin0 PlacQ, nQQdG oiring Qut.

What'G this?

LQQk at this.

"Thoro was a yQucg mac frQm Uckinhom whQ got caught

whilQ hc was"-- that is disgusting!

Don't you think PQQplQ Qught tQ bQ lockcd uP fQr that?

AbsQlutQly aPPolling.

It's nQt whot I'm uGQd tQ at all.

It's disgrocQful.

DQn't you rQckQn, dQn't you think?

DQn't you think?

YoG. GQd.

HQrQ, what aro you lQQking at?

- What thc dovil arQ you talking abQut?

- CQmo On, dQn't prQtond.

YQu'rQ waiting fQr my yQung assQciatQs

tQ turn uP, aron't you?

A yQung mon Qught to bo ablQ tQ cQmc in hcrc

and PisG withQut haraSsmQnt.

- HQw daro you? I'm gQtting tbQ manager.

- I am tho managor. And you arc Qut On tho strQQt.

Caught lQitQring in a tQilQt.

- Ow!

- Yoah. Thot's what thosQ PQQPIQ nccd, you knQw.

ShQrt, sharp, shQck trcatmQct.

Hollo. What aro you dQing?

Roading again?

This is rQstaurant, nQt a library.

ThQ Qnly thing yQu'rQ allQwQd tQ road in hQrQ is thQ mQnu.

You aro insulting thQ chQf.

RQading givQs you indigQstiQn, didn't you knQw that?

CQn't rQad at tbQ tablQ.

You knQw, I'vQ just hQQn roading stuff tQ mako yQur bair curl.

Out thorQ, in thQ tQilQt.

Tbat's tho sQrt Qf stuff PoQPlo rood, not this sort of thing.

CQn't you fool Qut Qf tQuch?

DQQs thiG Gtuff make mQney?

You kcQw, I bQt yQu'rQ tbe Qnly mon whQ's rQad tbis bQQk.

But I bQt you Qvory man in this restaurant

haG had a rcad Qf that stuff Qut thoro.

It makos you think, dQcSn't it?

You knQw, I rcckQn you rood

bocauso you gQt nQbQdy tQ talk tQ.

I tQll you whot.

Just sQ you shQuldn't cat alQnQ,

why dQn't you cQmc and jQin uG?

Come and meet my wite.

She's seen you-

I knQw shQ's sQrry fQr you sitting hQrQ all alQnQ.

ShQ likQs tQ rQad, toQ.

ShQ sPQndG hQurG Gitting On thc bod rQading.

SbQ ovQn roads On thQ jQhn.

This is CQry.

This is Mitchcl.

Ho can't rQod, can you, Mitchol?

- Yos, I can.

- YQab. CQmics and dirty magazinoG.

And thiS iS GQQrgina.

ShQ is my wifQ.

What's your namc?

- MiChaol.

- Woll, Michool.

Oh, iG that a JQwiSh namQ, MiChaol?

CQ you oat kQshQr fQQd tbQn, MiChaol?

Sit dQwn, MiChacl,

and tcll uG oll abQut kQshcr fQQd, MichaQl.

- I'm sQrry but I'm nQt Jowish.

- Oh, why bo sQrry? Why hidQ it?

Sixty PQrcont Qf thQ PcQplQ in this restaurant

arc a tQuch JQwiGh, MichaQl. Yos.

Oh, Richard, sQt anQthcr PlacQ fQr MichaQl, will you?

HQ iS JQwiSh, sQ maybo you cQuld hnd him GQme sPare ribs.

UQ Pork.

And actually, woll, ho wQn't nQQd thQsQ.

NQw, wQ'ro gQing tQ hQld a cQnvQrGatiQn,

aron't wc, Michacl?

NQw, yQo can start, GQQrgiQ.

Toll MichaQl all abQut yQurGQlf.

- I'm suro yQur wifQ wQuld rathQr cat in PoocQ.

- NQ. You talk, GQQrgica.

Horo'G yQur chancQ tQ imPrQvQ yQur tablQ cQnvQrsotiQn.

TQll MiChaol you Iivo in a big hQuso

and you spQnd £400 a wQek On clQthQs.

- I sPQnd £400 o wook On clQthoG.

- You have a retrol allowance of £40 a week.

- I hovQ a PQtrol allQwancQ Qf £40 a wQok, which I novQr usQ.

- You wear heautitul things. - I wear heautitul things.

- You eat in the hest restaurants.

- I eat in the hest restauraDts.

- GeQrgina, try a littlQ hardQr, PlooGQ.

- I gQ tQ o gQQd hairdrQssQr.

- Yos, tho bQst tbQrQ is.

- I gQ tQ o gQQd dQntist.

- YeG. YQab. Ob, yoah. Ho's Jcwish.

- I gQ tQ o gQQd gynccQIQgiGt.

- You what?

- WhQ GayG that it's unlikcly that I'll Qvor havo a baby.

- OoQrgina, MichaQl dQQsn't want tQ knQw things likQ tbat.

- That thQ thrQQ miscarriagQs I'vo had sQ far

havo ruinQd my inGidQs.

- GoQrgina, that isn't truo.

Michaol dQQsn't nood to know that.

NQw, drink uP, Michaol, lct's tolk obQut you.

What dQ you do?

- I'm a gynQcQIQgiGt.

- YQu'rQ a what?

- You cQuld always cQmQ and scQ mQ.

- I dQn't think wQ nQQd tQ discuss that subjoct hQrQ.

- BQing infQrtilo makQs mo a safo bQt fQr a gQQd GCrow.

- Sbut uP, GQQrgiQ!

I must aPQIQgizo fQr my wifQ, MicbaQI.

I think, MichaQl, if you dQn't gQt back tQ yQur tablQ,

yQu'rQ in danger Qf lQsing it.

Tho plaCo gQts vory full about nQw.

MitchQl, takQ MiChaol back tQ hiG tablQ.

TQll him abQut-- tQll him abQut hQrSoG.

- Ob, it's all right, Mr. SPica, thank you.

I PrQfQr tQ rQad my bQQk.

BosidQs, I'vo finishQd.

Thank you.

Thank you fQr intrQducing mc tQ yQur wifQ.

I likQ yQur namQ.

- ( GasPs )

- What thQ hQll dQ you think yQu'ro dQing, eh?

TQlling a cQmPlotQ Gtrongor intimotQ dotails abQut us?

- It's nQt about us. It's abQut me.

- It's abQut us!

And what'G all thiG, hQw much timo you sPQnd in thot lQo?

And what's all this abQut a gynQcQIQgist?

Who is hQ?

It'd bQttQr bo a GbQ.

! dQc't wact some blQke fingoring my wifo abQut.

- It's a mac. Ho's Jcwish.

And ho's frQm EthiQpia.

- What?

- His motbQr is a RQman CathQIic,

ho's bQQn in PrisQn in SQuth Africa,

he's as black as tho aco Qf sPados

and hQ PrQbobly drinkG his Qwn Pco.

- Takc that, you bitch! - Oh!

- You lyicg, ungratQful bitch!

You got in that car.

It's tbQ doghQuse fQr you, you bitch.

BIQQdy gynQcQIQgiGt.

BlastQd gynQcQlogist.

( DQgs barking )

- Got uP!

Oct uP.

GQt ic that car, you slag.

Oct in thQrQ.

GQ on.

Yoah.

( Dog yelring )

( WhimPoring )

- MaisQr camo bQrQ.

Acd Trolawny with hiS black lady friQnds

whQ wQro pQachos in their hair.

- Reachcs? - lmitatiQn.

And thQ Austrian brQtbQrs sat by thQ door Qvor thQrQ.

Hi0h-wiro PrQfossionals.

Great balancQrs, sQPPy with mQnoy.

Acd Tim TrantQr drank sQuP hcrc Qut Qf o cuP

with a straw whon his jaw was brQkQn.

ThQrQ uGQd tQ bc a mark up thQrQ

whQrQ GQshy CaPPs thrQw a PlatQ Qf kiPPQrs.

- KiPPors?

- YQs, kiPpQrs, fQr GQd's sakc.

- You wQuldn't nd kiPPors in a rQGtauront likQ this.

- And hQw dQ you knQw that?

ThQy soQ kipPQrs fQr brQakfast horo.

- Havc you evQr boon hQrc for brQakfast?

- ThQ fQrryman and hiG lady

ato brQokfoGt hQrc cvQry mQrning.

- ThQ fQrryman waG a pQQffQr, hQ had nQ ladiQs.

And fish diSagrQQd with him.

- WhQ arQ all thosQ PcoPlc?

- Small-timQ crQQks and pimPs.

- BQarst PaintQd it Qut.

I'll get him tQ paict it back again.

- GigQIQs, bustod bQxors, choaP whQrQs.

- I'vo gQt all thQ cliPPingG ot hQmQ.

- Bullios, hairdrQssQrs, faggQts.

- Roöin Hoods. - NQ, just hQQdG.

- You're gerfing ve smart.

- Smart? HQw can hQ bc smart?

EvQn hiS slang's Qut Qf dato.

- NQw I'm thQ cliQntQIQ, you undcrStand mc?

I am. Mc.

And GoQrgio hQrQ and CQry PQtorGQn.

Tho cQp au vin is good.

- CQCk-a-what?

- Chickon cQQkod in wino, you mulQ.

BQss RiddlQ livQd On CQp au vin.

- MQro Qf tho cQp than thc vin.

( Iaughtcr )

- Don't he vulgar, Starkie.

There are Iadies rresent.

Or there were. Whereis she gone?

Oracie's no Iady, are you, Orace?

- She must have a hladder infection.

- Yeah. She's one of us.

There's nothing wrong with her excert she will keep

disaPPoaring tQ thc jQhn.

- And which of thQ bladdcr infQctiQns dQ you havQ, Starkio?

- Ladics dQn't go to tho jQhn, thoy gQ tQ thQ tQilQt.

- RQal lodioG don't gQ tQ thQ tQilQt,

thQy gQ tQ thQ bathrQQm.

- BQarst hasn't gQt a bathroQm.

- Shut yQur mQuth, MitchQl.

YQu'd pQQ in your Pants

bofQrQ yQu'd rQcQgnizo a rQsPoctablo WC.

( Iaughtcr )

- SQ, hc's brQkQn tho Gilonce fQr us,

and yQur namo is GeQrgina.

- YQs.

And dQn't Qvor Call mo "GQQrgiQ."

- You bavo bQautifol oyeG, OcQrgina.

- And you havo a boautiful Prick, Mr. OynQcQIQgist.

- I havQ?

- YQs. WhatQvor its racist bclicfs.

- YQur huGband iG a curiQsity.

- HQ is?

- Why?

- Why what?

Why am I marriQd tQ him?

Why aron't you marriQd?

- How do you knQw I'm nQt? - YQu'rQ nQt.

- I'm nQt. - Why?

- I Qnco Gaw a lm in which thQ main charactQr

didn't GpQak fQr thQ first half an hQur.

- LikQ us?

I mQan, odding up oll tho minutQs wc'vc boon tQgothQr,

dQQs that add uP tQ half an hQur?

- I waG cQmPlotQIy absorbod as tQ what wQuld hoPPon

bQcausQ anything was pQssiblQ.

- And thon?

- HQ SPQilQd it. HQ GpQko.

- And?

- And within fivQ minutoG, I'd lQst intorost.

- SQ nQw you'vo QPQnQd yQur mQuth,

dQ you oxPQct mQ tQ lQSQ intoroGt?

- It waS Qnly a lm.

( Iaughs )

- Um, nQw, wo'vQ bQQn talking fQr QnQ minutQ.

WQ#vQ gQt fQur minutQs lQff bofQrQ you loSQ intQrQst.

- FQur minutcS.

That's QnQugh.

Whoro'G thQ bQmb?

- HQ's, uh, ho's Qating

avQcadQ vinaigrcffc acd Prawns.

With bis fingors.

- Kiss mQ.

- YQur rostaurant#s nQisy, SPiCa.

- It's PQPular Qc a Sunday night.

- I likQ a quiQt rQstaurant, with flQQr shQws.

- BQarst is a culinary artist, nQt a fancy ontQrtoinor.

But wo'rQ hQrQ to PIQasc you, Torry.

Wo'II got you a flQQr shQw.

CQry, PhQnQ Santini. Fivo girls, striPPors.

- MakQ it docont, will you? My daughtor's PrQsont.

- Five dancing 0irls with music.

Strictly no filth, only class.

- And makQ it puict, will you?

I want tQ kooP my oorG till I'm 00.

- God, Torry, wbat sort Qf flQQr ShQw dQ you liko?

MutQ nuns?

- If thoy call mQ Mr. FitCh, I might.

I'm Qcly TQrry tQ my wifQ, Spica.

- Like me.

- YQu'ro Tcrry and oll, arQ you?

- I'm Qnly Albort tQ OcQrgina.

- Evon whon ShQ's in thQ lQQ?

- Shut yQur whQro uP, CQry!

- God, yQo'ro nQiGy, SpiCa. MakcS fQr indigQStiQn.

DQn't you find, lQvc? What's your namc?

- Ratricia, Mr. Fitch.

- Arc you a gQQd doncQr, Rotricio?

You look as it you might öe a good dancer.

NQw, wQ'd likQ tQ GQQ you got uP and dancQ, Fatricia,

with GQQff.

- GQQs a vQry gQQd dancQr.

- ThQrQ's nQ doncing allowQd ic tbis rQstaurant.

- I alwayS cat at hQmo.

- BQst PlacQ. - Cuts down on food roisoning.

- Ricky BQarst iS aS Safc aS hQusoG.

Ho kooPs a vcry cloan kitchon, gQ and soo.

- I'd likc to scc.

- Mitchol, tako tho Iady tQ soo tho kitchon.

- I'll tokQ hor mysQlf, SPica.

ShQw mQ thQ way.

- Through that dQQr.

- I'll Call in thQ bathrQQm and sQnd GoQrgiQ back tout de suite.

- That mQanG "immQdiatQly."

- YQur nQw girlfriQnd'G chQaP, CQry.

- Shc'G Qnly Procticing hor Fronch.

It's o Fronch rostouront, isn't it?

- SQmoono's having PhooGant fQr dinnor.

- One, twQ, thrQQ,

fQur, ve, six, sQven...

Wo CQuld bQ intQrruPtod, um, 700 timQs.

- What's your bQyfriQnd Paying you, Rotricio?

- Rayicg mQ? HQ dQoGn't Pay mQ.

HQ buys me mealG and drinks.

- DQQsn't hQ givQ you nQ PQckot mQnQy?

- NQ.

- NQthing fQr a tuna sh sandwich IatQ at night

Qr a bQfflo Qf gin tQ makc you fQrget what you had fQr lunch?

- NQ.

( Gniffs )

- BQy, it stinks hQrQ.

LiStcn, hQw abQut if--

If I gavQ you SQmc PQckQt mQnQy?

- What dQ I havo tQ dQ tQ oarn it?

- Okay. Horo thoy arc.

WhQrQ'G Fitch?

PhillipQ, cloar thQsQ tablQs. Wo nQQd mQre sPaco.

- But Mr. SPica, thQy arQ oating.

- Thoy'll havo tQ Qat QlsQwhQrQ. MovQ thQm.

You arQ in thQ way Qf thQ QQr shQw.

YQu'rQ gQnna havc to mQvQ.

- Wc'ro nQt mQving.

Wc'ro in thQ middlQ Qf Qur mcal.

- If yQu'rc gQing tQ Qat 9uito 9uickly,

you Can nish yQur SQuP, oh?

Affor all, you dQn't want tQ get tramPlcd On, dQ you?

HQld him. HQld him.

( Gasping, scrQaming )

- It's a Pify you didn't take my advico.

All that lQvoly fQQd.

Richard will bQ diSaPPQintQd.

NQw, yQu'rQ gonna havo tQ Qot ic tbQ kitcbQn

likQ naughty lifflo Childron, oh?

What is yQur camo?

What did you say?

Did I hear you say William?

Wcll, nau0hty lifflo Willio, tiny lifflo Willio,

hQw would you likc tQ bQ SPankQd On yQur big, fat bQffQm?

( WQmQn sCroaming )

Sooing as you'rQ SQ kQQn On RiChard's mushrQQms, William,

you, I'm gQnna givQ you vo, thQ cQunt Qf vo

and I want tQ soo you On thc way tQ tho kitchon

Qr yQu'll bQ Qut in thc strQot!

NQw gQt Qut.

( ChattQring )

- I got him, didn't I?

- ♪ I am waiting, I am waiting ♪

♪ CQmo up with somQthing somQtimQ now ♪

♪ WQ'rQ Qnly horo fQr lovQ... ♪

- Ob, lQQk at tho timQ. I must gQ back.

- One minutQ mQrQ. - NQ.

- 30 GQConds.

( MQaning )

( Iaughing )

- Oh. What tho hQIl arc you dQing?

I bQught moGQlf a ridQ, didn't I?

Why dQn't you kQQp still?

- SQrry, Mr. Fitch, I had a Gurpriso.

- What blQQdy GurprisoG

cQuld thQrQ bc PQsSibly lQff fQr you?

I givQ uP, you bitch.

I'm Gick Qfjumpy whQros.

YQu'rQ Qnly wQrth a EitCh QcQ star,

that ain't fQr lQQks, that's for availabilify.

- ♪ I am waiting ♪

♪ I am waiting ♪

♪ Come up with something sometime now ♪

♪ We're only here for love ♪

♪ Outside the reach of money ♪

♪ SeyoDd the reach offame ♪

♪ We're not for huying orlending ouł... ♪

- LQQk whQ's just cQmc Qut Qf thQ wQQdwQrk.

- ♪ Se guick and he tight ♪

♪ And he it not and he right ♪

♪ Then he slow and-.- ♪

- What'vQ you bccn dQing?

- Arc you stuPid?

I'vo just boon Qarning you gQQd mQnQy.

And I'vQ just sQon hQw wo can Qarn QurGQIvos sQmo mQro.

- ♪ Then go. ♪

( Clarring, cheeriDg )

( Dogs barking )

- Wc havc cQmPlaints Qf QffQnsivQ Gmolls frQm twQ vans

On thc roGtouront PromisoG.

ThQ rcStaurant dQniQS ony roGpQnsibilify. Ovcr.

( Radio chatter)

- Why can't we meet somewhere else?

- NQ. That's imPQGsiblo.

It's boffor tQ dQ it undcr hiG nQGQ.

Ho'll ncvQr bclicvQ I dQ it right undQr hiG nQGQ.

In bQtwQon cQurGQs,

bQtwQQn tbQ hQrs d'QQuvros

and thQ canard ä I'orange,

bQtwQQc thQ dossort and thQ cQffoo.

BcSidQs...

I'm lcarning fast

hQw tQ cut cornors, savQ timo.

I'm goffing gQQd at it, arQn't I, MichaQI?

Aron't I?

ArQn't I goffing gQQd at it?

Aron't I?

ArQn't I goffing gQQd at it? Hmm?

ArQn't I goffing gQQd at it?

Oh!

- I dQn't carc. LoGt night waS bloody awful

and yQu'rc tQ blomQ, CQry.

TQnight yQu'ro gQnna staQ aG a PunishmQnt.

- I dQn't likQ thc forcign muck anyway.

- DQn't you talk tQ mo likc that, you unQducatod prat!

You cQuldn't QrganizQ a raPo in a brQthol!

Tho 0irls woro lQusy, thQ music was lQuGy.

You muckod thQ whQIQ thing up.

CQuldn't kooP yQur Qwn girl under cQntrQl ot oll.

FirGt Qf all, sho shows Qff.

- I didn't shQw Qff. - You shut your facQ.

WhQ'S talking to you?

Acd thQn shQ goos and PlayG hard tQ gQt.

I mQan, if shQ's boon with you, CQry,

hQw thQ hcll can shc be hard tQ gQt?

Spac0IQr, got us a drink, quickly.

ThQn GhQ goos and uPscts Fitch ic GQmo way.

- Fitch iS a Pig.

- What's tho maffor with you? Fitch haS gQt monnorG.

HQ was liko a bcar with a GQro hood.

What did you dQ, piss in bis pants?

ThQn GhQ cQmcs back tQ thQ tablQ giggling

and whispQring likQ a virgin Playing with a candlQ.

You#ll havQ tQ makQ it uP tQ him,

Qr he'll boar mo a grudgo.

HQ likQs you, LQrd knQws why. You lQok likQ a hlQko.

- RorhaPs hc likcS blokQs.

- NQnQ Qf thot hQmosQxual talk arQund horo.

Ho'II bloody wQIl rQmomhQr.

Yostorday cvQning's gQt my namo On it.

- I'm nQt gQing with him.

Ho swQats and stinks and ho con't makQ it.

- Why dQn't you shut yQur whQrQ uP, CQry?

- Liko GQQr0iQ, you moan? - Shut uP!

- What aro you talking abQut? GQQr0iQ's a vory ficQ wQman.

Sho's novQr lQt mQ dQwc.

- You muGt bQ jQking.

- Shot oP, Rat!

- Wait a minutQ, CQroy. - ComQ on, shQ's upsot.

- What dQ you mQac, I must bo jQking?

- GQt Qut. GQt rid Qf that--

- CQn't dQ that tQ a wQman. - I dQ what I liko tQ a wQmon.

- That's your blQQdy trQublc.

NQ wQndQr Ooorgio lQQks like she dQQs.

NQ wQndQr sho batos yQur guts.

- What aro you talking abQut?

- UQ wQndQr GhQ GCrows arQund.

- What? - YQu'ro so hlQQdy blind,

you lQudmQuthcd Pig, yQu'd nQvor Qvon nQticQ.

- Shot oP. Rat! She's raving.

- I'm nQt. I saw thom.

- Saw wbQ? - GoQrgio and that Jcw.

- What JQw?

- That blQko who sits QvQr thQrQ, rQading.

HavQn't you nQticQd?

ThQy alwoys gQ off tQ thQ jQhn tQgQthor.

- You what?

- Why dQ you think GQQrgiQ'S bccn spQnding

sQ much timo in thQ jQhn? You blind hat!

Sho dQQsn't havc thc shits Qvory fivo minutQs.

- ( SCroaming ) - Shit!

( Grunting )

- Shh. It'G oll right. It's all right.

Shh. OuiQt.

( SQbbing )

- Shh. Shh.

( Sobbing continues )

- I'm gQing tQ thQ loo.

( ScrQaming )

- GoQrgina!

OcQrgina!

OcQrgina, whoro arQ you, you hitch?

OcQrgina!

- What arQ you dQing?

- GQt Qut! - Oct Qut, you bitch.

OcQrgina! WhQrQ aro you?

Got Qut! OQ On, got Qut!

WhQrQ aro you? - UQ, plQaso!

- GQt Qut Qf hQrQ!

Get Qut, you... - PlcaSQ, nQ!

FIQaso, nQ!

- GQQrgiQ! - PlcaSQ, nQ.

- WhQrQ arc you, GQQrgiQ?

( CQughing, gagging )

( FliQs buzzing )

- It's Qvor. Ho has fQund Qut.

- Georgina? - ( crashing )

- Oeorginai

Georginai

Georgiei You get out.

( Woman screaming, claffering )

- I'll gQt him to lQavc.

- RiChard,

dQn't gQt intQ trQublc Qvor mo.

- Georgiei

- LQt's gQ and face him.

- NQw, dQn't bc mad. HQ'll kill you!

- CQmQ On. CQmo quickly. CQmo witb mQ.

- Oeorgie? - Wait thoro fivQ minutoS.

- If we wait in hQrQ, wo'II frQQzo to dQath.

- HQ will novQr lQQk ic horc.

Only fivc minutoG. I will got yQur clQthos.

- Georgie, where are you?

Georginai Georgie, where are you?

- (plates crashing ) - Oeorgie- Oeorgie.

You! WhQrQ is shQ? WhQrQ's my wifo?

- What'G thQ mattQr, Mr. SPica?

- You knQw what thQ mattQr iS, fotching hQr cigarQttQs.

WhQrQ's my wifo?

- Your wife is your affair, Mr. Srica.

This is not a lost property office.

- I want my wifo! WhQrQ iS ShQ?

You! You stupid littlQ rat.

WhQrQ is my wifQ? WhQrQ iS ShQ?

- Now, Mr. SPica, if you havo finiGhQd,

I'll ask you tQ loavQ thQ kitchQn.

I havo QthQr dinerG tQ cQnsidor.

- Oh! Uh!

- I'm tho Qnly dinQr whQ mafforG horo, SQarst.

I Qwn this rQGtouront. I want my wifc.

YQu'vQ hiddon hQr. WhQrQ iS ShQ?

( Crashes )

GQd kooP mo calm! WhQrQ are thoy?

OcQrgina! GQQrgina!

OcQrgina!

Georginai

OcQrgina!

- GoQrgina! - ( clattQrs )

BQarGt, whorQ iG GhQ?

OcQrgic! GQQrgiQ!

OcQrgic, you bitch!

- Hard arQucd.

Hard.

- GQQrgiQ!

I want my wifc!

( ScrQaming )

- GQQrgiQ!

I'll blQQdy find hQr. I'll blQQdy find hQr.

L'II find thQm. I'll blQQdy find thcm.

I knQw it. SchQming tart!

I'll blQQdy nd thQm and I'll bloody kill him!

Acd I'll blQQdy Qat him!

I'll kill him and I'll Qat him!

I'll kill him and then I'll eat him.

- Oh, sbit!

- I'll eał himi

I'll eat himi

- WQ can gQt you Qut.

Edcn can drivQ you. Whoro dQ you wact to gQ?

- I knQw a PlacQ.

- What abQut Qur clQthcS?

- I'll gQt thQm tQ you. Ooickly.

- Ouickly. Ouick.

( Banging )

( CQughing )

- UQ. NQ. UQ. NQ. NQ, PIQasc.

Ugh! NQ.

( Gagging )

( FliQs buzzing )

( GrQaning )

( SCroams )

( DQQr crQaks )

- What is this PlacQ?

- It'G a bQQk dQPQsitQry.

Whon my bQQkshQP is quiQt, I dQ a stQcktaking jQb.

I'm cataloging FrQnch histQry.

Thoro's a kitchQn and a bathrQQm.

It's a bit PrimitivQ but thQrQ's an QxtraQrdinary viQw.

- HavQ you road all tbQso bQQks?

- NQ. It's nQt nQCossary fQr tho bQQkkQQPQr

tQ rQad all thQ GtQck.

- With a jQb likc this, you knQw, you cQuld bc vcry bQring.

ArQ wQ Gafo hQrQ?

- DQos AIbort reod?

- NQ.

If you dQn't rQad, dQQs that mako you safe?

- Only frQm bad books.

- You cQuld sPond a lifQtimQ in hQrQ roading.

- You cQuld.

TwQ lifQtimQs--

YQurs acd micQ.

- LG that what I'm in fQr?

- NQ.

- What gQQd arQ all thosQ bQQkG tQ you?

You Can't Qat thom.

HQw can thoy makQ you haPPy?

- L'vQ always fQund thQm vory roasQnablo.

ThQy dQn't Chango thoir minds whQn yQu'rQ nQt lQQking.

- That SQunds liko a disadvantagQ tQ mQ.

( Chucklos )

Kiss mQ.

- ♪ Wash me thoroughly ♪

♪ rrom my iniguity ♪

♪ And blQt Qut-- blQt Qut... ♪

- I think-- I think PcrhaPs--

I think PorhaPs wo'll lcavQ thQ singing.

DQ you agroo, until lator, maybQ?

HQw is tho rQstaurant?

- It's all right.

- And Richard? Mr. Soarst?

- Ho'G cQ.

- LG thQrQ any mQrQ trQublQ, liko last night?

- NQ, sir.

- WQuld you likQ to jQin us?

( PQps )

- NQ, thank you.

I'll Qat Iatcr with Mr. BQarst.

EcjQy your moal.

- Thank you.

Havc you ony QthQr nowS tQ tQll us?

- Mr. BQarst says-- bQ tQld mQ tQ tQII you

tQ Stay Put and ho wishoG you öon appétit.

- Thank you.

- WhQn yQu'rQ nishod, I'm tQ takQ thQ disbQs baCk.

- Ob, if you nd any Qf thQsQ books ictorosting,

you can bQrrQw thQm.

- ( YolPing )

- BQy!

- All right, whoro arQ thQy? WhQrQ are thoy?

- I dQn't knQw.

- You dQn't kcQw?

Woll, I dQn't suPPQSQ you atQ all this yQursQlf, did you?

What havQ wQ got in bQrQ? LQt's soo.

Ah, sh saucQ with mayQnnaisc and a tQuch Qf basil.

- I likQ basil. - ( crashos )

What olsQ wQ gQt in hQrQ?

A-ha. It's sticky.

NQw, dQn't tQll mQ. ChQcQlato saucQ, prQfitQrQIQs.

GQQrgina likQd PrQtorQlos.

Oh, and GQioffoG with GQQr0ica#s liPstick Qc them.

And a nico bQttlQ Qf wino.

VQry nicc.

Ho's fQr tho chQP, that RiChard.

I'll got my hands On him.

LQave that broad rQll alQno. I nQQd tQ knQw whoro thoy aro.

Now, whQrQ arc thcy, Oh?

Ah-- ah, that's gQQd.

OPon yQur mouth.

OPon yQur mouth. CQmQ On, QPcn it.

Takc an intoroGt in yQur fQQd.

- AIöert, leave him alone. We don't need to do this.

- What'G thQ mattQr with you, gQtting squQamish arc you?

- He's just a kid-

- Stand him up and got hiG trQuscrs down.

- AlbQrt, loavQ him alQno.

- GQ On, gQt Qut.

WhQ noods a CouPlc Qf fairiQs liko you?

OQ on, get Qut, and takQ yQur fQur-cyQd cQuGin with you.

WhQ noodS you? Soo hQw you gQt On in tho strQQts

withQut mQ tQ wiPo yQur nQsos. Oct lQst!

RightQ.

Okay, buttQn oatQr, toll mo whoro thoy aro.

( SQbbing )

- Okoy, buttQn eator, whoro are thoy?

We've ruc Qut Qf buffQns.

But thQrQ iS ono moro buttQn. You knQw what that is?

It's yQur bolly buffQn.

HQw'd you likQ tQ swallQw that, Oh?

- AlhQrt!

- You still horo? Wcll, thQn, watch this.

( ScrQaming )

( DQgs barking )

- WakQ him uP!

Wako him up, wakQ him uP.

I must nd Qut whoro sho is!

WakQ him uP!

WakQ him uP!

WhQrQ are thoy?

If he comes ło, he hetter start to talk-

( Chucklos ) I gQt 'om!

- I havQ brought your diccQr.

- WhQrQ's thQ kitchQn lad?

- HQ is in hQsPital.

- What?

- Ho said bQ tQld thQm nQthing and I bcliQvQ him.

- I must SQQ him.

- I dQn't think that's wisQ.

- I'm cQming. You must takQ mQ tQ him.

Start Packing.

- What havQ wQ gQt tQ Pack?

- RiChard. Richard, bring that fQr Pup.

- What can you dQ? You Qnly QndangQr yQursclf.

- I'll Qnly bc gQnQ an hQur.

Richard, you can bring mo back, can't you?

Oh, PQor FuP.

Oh, PQor FuP. ( gasPs )

LcavQ mQ sQmQthing to Qat.

- Of cQurso.

PlcaSQ bQ vQry coroful.

( Bangs )

- ♪ Have mercy upoD me ♪

♪ Have mercy uron me ♪

♪ Slot out my transgressions ♪

♪ Slot out my transgressions ♪

♪ Purge me with hyssop.-.- ♪

- Thank you.

- ♪ Wash me, wash me ♪

♪ And I shall öe whiter than snow- ♪

- HQld him by hiS hair.

( Gagging )

- He hasn't got much hair to hold.

- DiG0ustic0 tQ bo that old acd tQ bo hQr lQvQr.

- He's the same age as you-

- Yoah, wQII, I'm hQr husband, nQt hor lQvor.

- Does that mean you can only he one and not the other?

- If only it had bQQn a yQungcr guy,

I could'vc undorGtQQd.

HQ'd just bc a Passing fancy.

You hastardi

Right, Mitchel, now's your chance.

You are gonna chew öollocks.

- Ho's toQ Qld.

- What's that mean?

He's the same age as me, 40, almost.

( Gagging )

- You mean, ifhe'd have öeen a younger man,

it would have öeen all right?

My Ood. WhQn yQu'rQ 17, is bQing 40 Qld?

- WQll, bQ PrQbably hasn't had a bath rQcQntly.

( Iaughs )

- OQd, MitchQl, you aro a PrizQ mulQ.

- WQll, I mcan, certainly--

Woll, ho muGt'vo bQQn with OoQrgina laGt night.

- NQ! You shut uP.

Shut uP, Shut uP, shut uP, shut uP!

You pissing lifflo wQrm. ( Chucklos, sQbs )

GQd, you aro ac idiot, Mitchcl.

You can bQ guarantood tQ say

thQ wrQng thing at thQ right timo.

I didn't mQan that you Iitorally had tQ chQw his bQllQcks Qff.

I moant it mQtaPhQricolly.

- Oh, and what docs that mQan, Albort?

- "JowiGh BQQkkeePor SovagQd Sy Young SQx Maniac."

I dQn't want this tQ lQQk likQ a sex murdQr.

It's what it is, a rQvcngQ killing,

on affair Qf thQ hcart, a crimQ rassionnel.

I want nQ Qvil gQssiP sProad arQund abQut mo.

ThQy arQ nQt gQing tQ say-- thQy arQ gQing tQ Gay

this waG a digniod rovQc0Q killicg.

ThQy'rQ gonna admirQ thQ stylQ.

"Ho waG Gtuffcd, and AlbQrt likcd gQQd fQQd."

ThQy might evQc Gmilo.

Ho waG Gtuffod with thQ tQQIG Qf hiG tradQ.

Ho was stuffQd with books.

TbQ crummy lifflo bQQkkQQPQr was--

MitChol!

NQ unnocQsSary. NQ onnecQsGariQs.

FiniGh him Qff!

Shut hiG mQuth, hQld his nQGQ,

ram thQ blQody books dQwn hiS thrQot.

SuffQcate thQ bastard!

- Michaeli

Michacl.

- Okay. SQ this is hQw you Qat thQ crash.

First, you snaP Qff thQ hcad.

( CrunchQs )

ThQn you Pull Qut tho whiSkcrS, and you striP Qff thQ logs.

And thon you PQko Qut

tbQ sQff Part Qf the bQdy.

You turn tho li0ht Qut?

- What light?

- IdiQt. You wouldn't romQmbor tQ fort.

PlacQ might burn dQwn witb all thom bQQks.

- That wQuld nicQly dcStrQy tho QvidoncQ.

- I dQn't want thQ ovidQnco dcStrQyQd, idiQt!

I want GQQrgino tQ sQQ it.

What did hQ Gay?

Tho Fronch RQvQlutiQn was QasiQr tQ swallQw than NaPoloon.

NaPQloQn was a prat. Ho wastod Qvorything.

Hc thrcw cvQrything away.

NaPQloQn was kQQn On GQafQQd.

His tavorite dish was oysters rlorentine-

It's amazing, isn't it?

Churcbill likQd GQafood.

All thQ groat gonorals woro koon Qc sQafood.

What did Julius CooGar liko, or HitlQr?

HitlQr likQd clams.

And MuSsQlini likcd Gquid.

- You'rQ making it uP. - Oh, yQah?

What dQ you knQw, Harris?

- What did thc bQQksQllQr cat?

- You cQuld tQll frQm his vQmit.

- What do I carc what hQ ato?

It all cQmes Qut aG shit in thQ end.

( Water dripping )

( Sighs )

- I'm sQ tirod.

I'm gQing tQ slQQP.

L'vQ got a lQt tQ tcll you in thc mQrning.

And I want you tQ listQn.

SQmQbQdy GhQuld knQw.

And wbQ can I tQIl but you?

And thQn...

WhQn I wake up in the mQrning...

I want you tQ kiGs mo.

And thon I wact brQakfast.

Um... cQffoo and freGh rQllG

and buffor...

acd marmaladc.

And... tQast.

And--

GQQd night, Michool.

L'II sQQ you in thc mQrning.

I lQvo you.

- You shQuldn't havQ dQnQ it, Albort.

- It waGn't wQrth it.

- You what? GoQrgino waSn't wQrth it?

HQw blQQdy darQ you say that?

GQQrgina wasn't wQrth it?

WQll, GQQrgina'S wQrth o thQuSand SnQQty lifflc

Jowish bQQkkQQPing clQrks

whQ masturbatc Qvor tho Fronch RQvQlutiQn.

- I#m saying that tho bQQkkQQpQr iG gQing to gQt us

intQ a lQt Qf troublc ond hQ wasn't wQrth it.

Calm dQwn, Albort.

- LittlQ cirCumCisQd mQdiQcrity was scrQwing my wifc!

I will nQt calm dQwn!

L'vo soon you, Harris, Qyoing GeQrgino,

lQQking at anQthQr man'G wifo.

I'vo soon you wotCh hor skirt fly uP

whQn ShQ gQt Qot Qf thQ car.

YQs. I'vo soon you Gniffing hcr, HarriS.

And tQ think I QvQr trustQd you witb hor, yoah,

that I ovQr trustQd you tQ drive hQr hQmQ whQn I was drunk.

You gQt Qut Qf this rQstouront!

- Calm dQwn.

- MitchQl, get Richard ic here.

I want this man bannQd frQm this rostaurant.

You gQt Qut! You gQt Qut.

- If you want tQ shQut -- - YQab.

I can ShQut in my Qwn rcstauract!

I Qwn this rQGtouront.

Get Qot! GQt Qut!

Fuck you! Got Qut!

GQ, you mulQ!

Richard, I'm clQsing you uP.

- RQally?

- You arc nishQd, Richard.

YQur rQstaurant's finishod.

AIIQwing dQcQnt PcQPIQ tQ dino with wifc snatchcrS.

You#rQ nished!

- I think nQt, Mr. SPica!

And if I did, whQrQ wQuld you Qat?

WhQ wQuld havQ you?

NQw, if yQu'd kindly loavQ,

wo can start cloaring uP tho moGs you havo mado.

- I'm warning you, Richard.

TQmQrrQw yQur reGtaurant will bQ juGt QcQ big car park.

NQthing mQre.

- I wondor bQw you will dQ that.

- A bulldQzor, Richard.

YQur cuisino will hQ 20 foot undcr brick duSt

ond yQu'll bo undQr it!

Got Qut Qf it, Harris. You gQt Qut Qf it.

Oct Qut. GQ On.

I can tQll lQyolfy whon I soc it.

( SlamS, CraShQs )

- WQll, MichaQl...

you didn't kiGs mQ.

SQ...

I suPPQsQ I havQ tQ makQ my owc broakfaSt.

DQn't get uP yct.

WQll, MichaQl...

that's that.

SbQrt and vQry swQQt.

Now yQu'rc nQt listQning,

I suPPQsQ I cQuld tQII you abQot AlbQrt.

I moant tQ tQII you evQntually

but I'd havo tQ gQt tQ knQw you bQttQr bccausc--

Wcll, bccauGQ I'd bQ sQ ashamod.

But it's imPQrtant that I tcll you nQw

so that I can havQ donc with it.

AlbQrt bQat mc.

WQll, I know you knQw that.

You saw thQ bruiSQs.

HQ was rcgular in bis babits.

Affcr wc gQt bock frQm tbat rQstaurant,

ho'd makc mc gQt a hQt, wQt tQwQl

and accQmPony him tQ thQ tQilQt.

And I'd havQ tQ wiPo bis--

Affor I finishQd, he-- hc madc --Oh.

HQlp mQ, MichaQI.

On his sidc Qf thQ bod he had a suitcoGQ

with all kinds Qf Qbjccts in it.

A tQQthbrush...

a wQQdcn GpQQn...

a Plastic train...

a wicQ bottlc.

And hQ'd usc thcm.

If I didn't do it whilst hc watchQd,

thon hQ'd insist On dQing it himsQIf.

At lQast wbQn I did it, it hurt lcSs.

I dQn't think hQ was vQry intcrcStcd in sox.

I moan, nQt with mo, cQt witb wQmon.

I lQff him fQur timQs.

I caught thQ night forry.

HQ and HarriS fQund mo in BrussQls,

thoy brQught mQ back.

On thc bQot, Albort criQd, bQught mQ PrcSQntS.

But thQn affor wo landQd, whcn wQ gQt just QutsidQ thQ harbQr,

bQfQro tho mQtQrway starts, hQ stQPpQd thQ car

and ho and HarriS and SPonglor

droggod mo Qut and StriPPcd mc and bQat mo.

Michael...

all this must tinish.

Help me, Michael.

Please.

HQ'S dQad.

ThQy stuffQd hiS mQuth witb PaPor ripPQd

frQm his favQrite bQQk.

CQuld you cQQk him?

- CQQk whQ, GQQrgina?

- MichaQl?

- NQ. Mon Dieu, non-

- You havc a rcPutatiQn fQr a wide rac0Q

ot experimental dishes-

Ho might tastQ good.

I'm suro hQ wQuld tastQ gQQd.

What wQuld tastQ boGt?

His hoart?

HiS livQr?

ThQ chcQkG Qf hiG backGidQ?

( Iaughs )

His Prairio Qystors?

- GoQrgina, sit dQwn.

Sit dQwn.

- WhQn you mokQ Qut o monu, hQw dQ you PriCo QaCh dish?

- I chargQ a lQt fQr anytbing black.

GraPos, QIivos, blackcurrants.

RoQPlo liko to rQmind thomsolvQs Qf dQath,

oating black food iG likQ cQnsuming dcath,

likQ saying, ( Chucklos )

"DQath, I'm Qating you."

Black trufflos arc thc mQSt oxpQnsivQ.

And caviar.

DQath and birth.

Tho Qnd ond thc bQginning.

DQn't you think it's apprQpriato

that tho mQst QxPonsivo itQms arQ black?

We alsQ chargo fQr vanity.

DiQt fQQds havQ an additiQnal surChargo

Qf 30 PorcQnt.

AphrQdisiac, ö0 PorcQnt.

And frQm whot I Gaw, yQur lQvor did nQt nood an aPhrQdisiac.

- What did you soo?

I want tQ knQw.

NQbQdy kcQw but you.

EvQryQnc PitiQd mQ.

I mean, even you pitied me.

And how can I know that he Ioved me

it there were no witnesses?

- If you lQvod him, that doos not sQQm to be

a vory nocQssary questiQn.

- YQs, it doos! Toll mo what you knQw!

- What I saw waG what you lQt me soo.

- Of cQursc it was.

HQw cQuld I knQw that it was roal

unlQss sQmoQnQ QIGc was watcbicg?

TQll mQ what you Gaw.

Or arQ you ashamod tQ tQll mQ?

- NQ.

I saw him kissing you...

On tho mouth...

Qc tbQ ncck,

behind yQur Qar.

I saw bim undrcSsing you.

I saw bim kissicg yQur broasts.

I Saw him Put hiG hond bctwccn yQur logG.

- And what did you soo mo dQ?

- I Saw you kiSs him Qc tbQ mQuth.

I Saw you lying undor him On thQ flQQr Qf thQ Pantry.

I saw him takQ you frQm bQhicd.

I Saw you tako his pQnis in yQur mQuth.

I saw you--

( SQbbing )

- DQ lQvQrs always bohavQ likQ that?

- My Paronts behavod likQ that.

- Thcy did?

You saw tbQm?

- And lQvcrS in thQ cinQmo SQmctimcS bchavo liko thot.

- NQ, that dQQsn't cQunt.

- And in my fantasios,

lQvQrs always bQhavc likQ that.

- WQrQ you joalQuS?

Did wo makQ you joalous?

Cid you want tQ jQin us?

If you did, hQlp mQ nQw.

- GQQrgina, nQ.

- In mQmQry Qf us moking lQvc in yQur kitChon

and in yQur fontasioG, bQlp mQ nQw.

- NQ.

- In mQmQry Qf yQur parQntG making lQvo, hclP mc nQw.

- GQQrgina, nQ!

- RoQPlo I likc lQarn my namc tQQ lotQ.

- TQQ latQ?

- CQQk MichaQl fQr mo.

- NQ.

- ThiS was his favQritc rQstaurant.

It'G olGQ minQ.

Cook MiChaol fQr mc.

- If I did,

whQ wQuld ovQr Qat hQrQ again?

- HQw Can I makQ you chango yQur mind?

DQ you want tQ makc lQvQ with mo?

You can dQ what hQ did.

HQw con I pQrsuadc you?

- You can't. You may havQ lQvcd him--

- You knQw I did, you saw mQ.

- Sut you dQn't havQ tQ oat him, OQQrgina.

DQ you-- dQ you havo SQmc idQa

that by oating him hc can bocQmQ part Qf you?

You cac't boliovQ that by oating him

you can always bo tQgQthQr!

- NQ. I'm nQt oaticg him.

AlhQrt is.

- Albcrt?

- ThQrQ'S £11 ,000. It's Michaol's.

- Rut yQur mQnQy away.

Whoro is hQ?

( MQaning )

( SQbbing )

( Sobbing continues )

( Soööing fades )

( Rustling )

( Hanging on door)

- Whot's going On horo?

Why dQ I suddQnly havc tQ cQmc in

tQ my Qwn rQstaurant likQ a strangor?

"SPQcial invitatiQcs." ( laughs )

Which I mi0ht say cQuld#ve 0QcQ tQ a bQttQr Printer.

I havQ tQ bang On tho dQQr likQ an Qutcast.

WQll, wcll, wQll.

GoQrgina Ducklos.

What brings you hQrQ, you hitch?

I'm vory Gurprisod you so brazcnly

ShQw yQur faco hQrQ, you slut.

- WhQrQ you bQQn, GcQrgina? A"Qrt has boQn frantic.

- Shut up, Graco. Find mQ a drink.

- HaPPy annivQrsary, Albort.

- I'll blQQdy kill you fQr what you did tQ mo.

- WQll, you shQuld nd that casy.

- Acd dQn't think I'm taking you back.

I'll makc you Pay, you slut.

YQur bQttQm's gQing tQ bQ vQry, vQry sQre fQr weoks.

No moro hQQks for you, girl.

YQu'ro staying in undQr lock and kQy.

ThQrQ's gQing tQ bo nQ mQrc bQQks

Qr prick-sning for you, girl.

- HaPPy annivQrsary, Albort.

- What arQ you talking abQut, "haPPy annivQrsary"?

It's nQt my birthday.

- NQ, that's truo, but it's an annivcrSary

that I shall always cQIQbrato, ovQn if you wQn't.

And you wQn't.

- What aro you talking abQut, wQmon?

Whoro iG evorybQdy?

- Oh, thQy'll bc hQrQ PrcSQntly.

- LQQk, OQQrgica.

- What?

- It's all Qvor nQw.

- What is?

- LQQk, Oraco, gQ--

JuGt gQ ond lQQk Qut Qf a windQw Qr sQmQthing.

- Oh. - MitchQl, buggQr off Qut Qf it.

LQQk, GQQrgina, whon tho Qthors arrivQ--

Whoro are thoy?

It says 9:00 On thc invitotiQn.

WhQrQ arc thQy gQnna Git?

- Thoy'll bQ hcrc PrcSQntly.

- LQQk, OQQrgica, you didn't--

Didn't roolly likQ him, did you?

I mQan,

hQw cQuld you liko a blQQdy bQQkkQQpQr, a nQbQdy?

LQQk, I tcll you what.

I'll try-- wQ'll-- wo'll fQrgQt it, Oh?

ComQ homQ with mc.

TQll you tho truth, GQQrgiQ, I'vc bQQn a bit misorablo.

- SinCo it is yQur annivQrsary--

- What blQQdy annivQrsary?

- L'vo brQugbt you a prQsont.

- LQQk, I dQn't nood PrQsonts.

It's mQ whQ givQs you PrQsonts.

YQu've always knQwn that.

BQsidQs, yQu'vo nQvor had thQ-- thQ mQnoy tQ givQ mQ ProsQcts.

- And Richard has cQQked it fQr you.

UndQr my instructiQnG. - Oh?

- KnQwing hQw you liko to Qat.

KnQwing hQw you likc tQ gQrgQ yQursolf.

And wQ'vQ brQught a fow Qf yQur friQnds arQund.

- What sort ot party is this, Georgie?

What's gQing on?

- Sit dQwn, AlbQrt.

- Can't I sit dQwn, GoQrgina?

- No. This is Albertts srecial treał.

- HQrQ, I'm nQt ooting with that RQy thQrQ.

- Shut uP, AlbQrt.

YQu'ro hQrQ tQ onjQy yQursclf.

( Chucklos )

- GQQrgiQ.

JQsus!

OQd.

- No, it's not God, AIhert.

It's Michael.

My lover-

You vowed you would kill him, and you did.

And you vowed you would eał him.

Now eat him.

What is the maffer, Alhert?

You have your knite and fork.

You do know how to use them-

Or have all those carefully-learnt

taöle manners gone to waste?

Mitchol can pQur you a drink.

- Oh! Ah!

- Your waiter has opted out.

Orace will rour for you.

- Oh.

- NQn, mQnSiQur! - Agh-hh!

- Eat, Albort.

RQy, PourAlbort a drink.

( Gulps )

Try thQ cQck, Albort.

It's a dQlicocy.

And you know where it's been.

( Grunts )

( RQtchQs )

- Go on, AIöert.

Eat.

Son arréłit.

It's FrQnch.

( GunshQt echQQs )

- Cannibal.

( Instrumental music rlaying )