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1
00:00:08,532 --> 00:00:09,532
Snake!
2
00:00:11,804 --> 00:00:13,164
I just saw a cobra.
3
00:00:13,188 --> 00:00:16,097
I don't know what you saw,
but it wasn't a cobra.
4
00:00:16,122 --> 00:00:17,417
Well, I saw something,
5
00:00:17,442 --> 00:00:19,595
and it looked a hell
of a lot like a cobra.
6
00:00:19,944 --> 00:00:21,011
A garden hose?
7
00:00:21,036 --> 00:00:23,682
I know the difference
between a hose and a snake.
8
00:00:23,706 --> 00:00:25,016
This was a cobra.
9
00:00:25,040 --> 00:00:26,885
I've never been more sure
of anything in my life.
10
00:00:26,909 --> 00:00:29,287
It was probably a garter snake,
11
00:00:29,311 --> 00:00:31,156
and look
how it's got you rattled.
12
00:00:31,180 --> 00:00:33,024
Maybe it was a rattler.
13
00:00:33,048 --> 00:00:36,761
♪ You think there's not a lot
goin' on ♪
14
00:00:36,785 --> 00:00:39,965
♪ Look closer, baby
you're so wrong ♪
15
00:00:44,793 --> 00:00:46,905
Okay, give the gutters
a good cleaning,
16
00:00:46,929 --> 00:00:48,506
don't just pull a few twigs out
17
00:00:48,530 --> 00:00:49,841
and say you're done.
18
00:00:49,865 --> 00:00:51,443
What an amazing view.
19
00:00:51,467 --> 00:00:53,578
I can see my house from up here.
20
00:00:53,602 --> 00:00:55,447
Your house is
in the other direction.
21
00:00:55,471 --> 00:00:56,514
Oh.
22
00:00:56,538 --> 00:00:58,383
Well, I can see a house,
23
00:00:58,407 --> 00:00:59,451
and water.
24
00:00:59,475 --> 00:01:00,785
Is that the ocean?
25
00:01:00,809 --> 00:01:02,387
How far are we from the ocean?
26
00:01:02,411 --> 00:01:03,455
I don't know,
27
00:01:03,479 --> 00:01:05,590
however wide the continent is,
28
00:01:05,614 --> 00:01:06,392
divide by half.
29
00:01:06,416 --> 00:01:08,259
Now, stop sightseeing
and get to work.
30
00:01:08,283 --> 00:01:10,128
All right, don't be bossy.
31
00:01:10,152 --> 00:01:12,797
I'm doing this
as a favour to you guys.
32
00:01:12,821 --> 00:01:14,399
It's not so much a favour
33
00:01:14,423 --> 00:01:17,068
as labour in exchange
for your giant tab
34
00:01:17,092 --> 00:01:18,136
you'll never pay off.
35
00:01:18,160 --> 00:01:19,471
How big is my tab?
36
00:01:19,495 --> 00:01:21,606
However wide the continent is,
37
00:01:21,630 --> 00:01:22,669
double that.
38
00:01:36,184 --> 00:01:37,889
All right!
39
00:01:37,913 --> 00:01:39,224
Look alive, rookie,
40
00:01:39,248 --> 00:01:40,825
this just came in over the wire.
41
00:01:40,849 --> 00:01:41,893
The wire?
42
00:01:41,917 --> 00:01:43,762
Okay, email,
43
00:01:43,786 --> 00:01:45,096
but it's big news.
44
00:01:45,120 --> 00:01:47,766
A convict escaped from prison
in Alberta,
45
00:01:47,790 --> 00:01:49,634
and he may be headed this way.
46
00:01:49,658 --> 00:01:50,969
That's awesome!
47
00:01:50,993 --> 00:01:53,104
Might get to do
some actual police work.
48
00:01:53,128 --> 00:01:55,240
Oh, I feel like I've been
training my whole life
49
00:01:55,264 --> 00:01:56,307
for this moment.
50
00:01:56,331 --> 00:01:59,535
Might want to take the tape
off your nose, then.
51
00:02:02,738 --> 00:02:03,738
Huh?
52
00:02:04,873 --> 00:02:06,451
Whoa...
53
00:02:06,475 --> 00:02:08,853
Do you find business
a little slow lately?
54
00:02:08,877 --> 00:02:10,722
Yeah, pretty great, right?
55
00:02:10,746 --> 00:02:12,057
Not great, no.
56
00:02:12,081 --> 00:02:14,726
We need to find some way
to promote our businesses
57
00:02:14,750 --> 00:02:16,061
beyond Dog River.
58
00:02:16,085 --> 00:02:17,258
Here you go again,
59
00:02:17,283 --> 00:02:20,025
pushing your giant
inflatable gorilla idea.
60
00:02:20,050 --> 00:02:21,118
My idea?
61
00:02:21,143 --> 00:02:24,068
Giant inflatable gorilla
is your solution to everything.
62
00:02:24,093 --> 00:02:25,439
And you've won me over.
63
00:02:25,495 --> 00:02:27,606
I'll call Ape-Ape And Away.
64
00:02:29,164 --> 00:02:30,742
I found a bird's nest
with three eggs
65
00:02:30,766 --> 00:02:31,810
up in the gutters.
66
00:02:31,834 --> 00:02:32,877
Come up and see.
67
00:02:32,901 --> 00:02:35,013
Or you could go up
and take a picture,
68
00:02:35,037 --> 00:02:36,347
and then send
the picture over here
69
00:02:36,371 --> 00:02:37,949
to where me and my lunch are.
70
00:02:37,973 --> 00:02:41,419
Hey, we should set up
a live webcam feed
71
00:02:41,443 --> 00:02:44,089
so people can watch
when the eggs hatch.
72
00:02:44,113 --> 00:02:46,491
It could be a great
online promotion.
73
00:02:46,515 --> 00:02:49,427
What about a giant
inflatable nest?
74
00:02:49,451 --> 00:02:51,830
With baby gorillas in it?
75
00:02:57,459 --> 00:02:58,237
Ha!
76
00:02:58,261 --> 00:02:59,304
This is too good.
77
00:02:59,328 --> 00:03:01,706
A grown man afraid of snakes.
78
00:03:03,866 --> 00:03:05,443
Yeah.
79
00:03:05,467 --> 00:03:07,846
"I'm Oscar. Could someone
cut this up for me?
80
00:03:07,870 --> 00:03:08,913
I'm afraid to bite it.
81
00:03:08,937 --> 00:03:10,515
Can I have some soup instead?"
82
00:03:10,539 --> 00:03:12,917
What the hell are you
talking about?
83
00:03:12,941 --> 00:03:14,252
I'm getting in on the mocking.
84
00:03:14,276 --> 00:03:16,121
Emma said
you're afraid of steaks.
85
00:03:16,145 --> 00:03:17,989
I said "snakes."
86
00:03:18,013 --> 00:03:18,791
Oh.
87
00:03:18,815 --> 00:03:20,391
That's a bit less weird,
I guess,
88
00:03:20,415 --> 00:03:22,260
but, hey, mocking is mocking.
89
00:03:22,284 --> 00:03:24,929
Ha! Oscar's afraid of snakes!
90
00:03:24,953 --> 00:03:27,599
Course I am.
They're nasty and evil.
91
00:03:27,623 --> 00:03:29,200
Ever heard of the Bible?
92
00:03:29,224 --> 00:03:32,670
Anyway, I just came in
for a box of Corn Flakes.
93
00:03:32,694 --> 00:03:33,472
We're out.
94
00:03:33,496 --> 00:03:35,073
But we do have some Corn Snakes!
95
00:03:35,097 --> 00:03:36,941
Where?
96
00:03:40,702 --> 00:03:42,013
Seriously, though,
97
00:03:42,037 --> 00:03:44,415
I did know a guy
who was afraid of stakes.
98
00:03:44,439 --> 00:03:47,498
His name... was Dracula.
99
00:03:51,914 --> 00:03:54,559
Okay, the wind's blowing south.
100
00:03:54,583 --> 00:03:58,296
So that means the sun
is going to set over there,
101
00:03:58,320 --> 00:04:01,766
so the best light would be...
102
00:04:01,790 --> 00:04:03,125
Hey...
103
00:04:04,193 --> 00:04:05,503
Golf balls?
104
00:04:05,527 --> 00:04:07,372
But think how amazing it will be
105
00:04:07,396 --> 00:04:09,240
to see hatchlings coming to life
106
00:04:09,264 --> 00:04:11,109
right up there on our roof.
107
00:04:11,133 --> 00:04:11,911
Hey, you guys...
108
00:04:11,935 --> 00:04:13,511
Baby birds are pretty cute,
109
00:04:13,535 --> 00:04:15,380
in an "ugly alien
from another planet"
110
00:04:15,404 --> 00:04:16,182
kind of way.
111
00:04:16,206 --> 00:04:17,782
Ooh, we should name them.
112
00:04:17,806 --> 00:04:19,117
I want to call one Peepers.
113
00:04:19,141 --> 00:04:20,185
Justin Peeper.
114
00:04:20,209 --> 00:04:21,519
Feather Locklear.
115
00:04:21,543 --> 00:04:22,543
Birdy Rubble.
116
00:04:23,146 --> 00:04:24,189
Sorry, Hank,
117
00:04:24,213 --> 00:04:25,523
you wanted to tell us something?
118
00:04:25,547 --> 00:04:26,325
Uh...
119
00:04:26,349 --> 00:04:28,607
Uh, no, just, um...
120
00:04:28,632 --> 00:04:29,166
Uh...
121
00:04:29,270 --> 00:04:31,139
I'll go set up that webcam now.
122
00:04:31,164 --> 00:04:32,498
Weren't you already doing that?
123
00:04:32,523 --> 00:04:34,659
I was, and then...
124
00:04:35,421 --> 00:04:38,090
forgot.
125
00:04:38,894 --> 00:04:40,205
I don't know what to do.
126
00:04:40,229 --> 00:04:42,073
The Hank Yarbo story.
127
00:04:42,097 --> 00:04:43,942
There's a bird's nest
up on the roof,
128
00:04:43,966 --> 00:04:44,743
so Brent and Lacey
129
00:04:44,767 --> 00:04:47,145
wanted me to set up
a live webcam,
130
00:04:47,169 --> 00:04:48,746
but surprise,
131
00:04:48,770 --> 00:04:50,081
turns out they're not eggs,
132
00:04:50,105 --> 00:04:51,416
just golfballs.
133
00:04:51,440 --> 00:04:53,284
Think how surprised the mom was.
134
00:04:53,308 --> 00:04:55,153
I was going to tell
Brent and Lacey,
135
00:04:55,177 --> 00:04:56,221
but they're so excited.
136
00:04:56,245 --> 00:04:59,157
They're even thinking up
baby bird names.
137
00:04:59,181 --> 00:05:01,826
If I tell them,
it'll break their hearts.
138
00:05:01,850 --> 00:05:02,850
So don't tell them.
139
00:05:02,912 --> 00:05:04,481
Doesn't matter
what the truth is.
140
00:05:04,506 --> 00:05:06,097
It matters what people believe.
141
00:05:06,121 --> 00:05:08,233
Oscar believes he saw a cobra,
142
00:05:08,257 --> 00:05:11,037
now he's walking around
with half a load in his pants.
143
00:05:14,663 --> 00:05:17,308
Brent, we need you
to draw something.
144
00:05:17,332 --> 00:05:18,376
Okay...
145
00:05:18,400 --> 00:05:20,511
how about The Hulk
versus Captain Canuck?
146
00:05:20,535 --> 00:05:22,380
It'd be a closer fight
than you'd think.
147
00:05:22,404 --> 00:05:25,049
No, we need you to do
a composite police sketch
148
00:05:25,073 --> 00:05:26,384
based on a description.
149
00:05:26,408 --> 00:05:28,253
Who are you describing,
a criminal?
150
00:05:28,277 --> 00:05:30,922
We're not at liberty
to share that information,
151
00:05:30,946 --> 00:05:32,790
but, yeah, escaped convict.
152
00:05:32,814 --> 00:05:34,125
Keep that under your hat.
153
00:05:34,149 --> 00:05:35,727
We don't want to cause
a public panic,
154
00:05:35,751 --> 00:05:37,328
and he may not even
be around here.
155
00:05:37,352 --> 00:05:38,930
We just need to be ready.
156
00:05:38,954 --> 00:05:40,265
- Ready?
- Ready.
157
00:05:40,289 --> 00:05:42,934
Suspect is
approximately six feet.
158
00:05:42,958 --> 00:05:44,269
Slender build.
159
00:05:44,293 --> 00:05:45,603
Grey or green hoodie.
160
00:05:45,627 --> 00:05:46,405
Narrow eyes.
161
00:05:46,429 --> 00:05:49,340
Do not approach,
could be aggressive.
162
00:05:49,364 --> 00:05:50,675
Or assertive.
163
00:05:50,699 --> 00:05:53,077
Was it aggressive or assertive?
164
00:05:53,101 --> 00:05:54,145
Just read the email.
165
00:05:54,169 --> 00:05:56,281
I have it memorized.
166
00:05:56,305 --> 00:05:59,217
We can't be out in a life-
or-death situation,
167
00:05:59,241 --> 00:06:01,352
and say, "Oh, could you
hold on a moment,
168
00:06:01,376 --> 00:06:02,687
mister violent offender?
169
00:06:02,711 --> 00:06:04,289
I need to refer to the email
170
00:06:04,313 --> 00:06:07,225
that outlines
your characteristics."
171
00:06:07,249 --> 00:06:08,293
Well, based on your description,
172
00:06:08,317 --> 00:06:09,360
this is what I have.
173
00:06:09,384 --> 00:06:11,496
You got that from what I said?
174
00:06:11,520 --> 00:06:13,631
I mostly draw superheroes,
175
00:06:13,655 --> 00:06:15,233
so that's sort of my style.
176
00:06:15,257 --> 00:06:16,834
Thanks for your help.
177
00:06:16,858 --> 00:06:18,460
Well, your time.
178
00:06:19,261 --> 00:06:20,571
Oh, Brent, watch.
179
00:06:20,595 --> 00:06:22,440
Hank is setting up
the webcam on the roof.
180
00:06:22,464 --> 00:06:23,242
Hmm...
181
00:06:23,266 --> 00:06:25,376
How's it going up there, Hank?
182
00:06:25,400 --> 00:06:26,178
It'd be going a lot better
183
00:06:26,202 --> 00:06:28,313
if I didn't have to stop
every 30 seconds
184
00:06:28,337 --> 00:06:30,181
to talk on the phone.
185
00:06:31,273 --> 00:06:32,850
Ooh, it's live.
186
00:06:32,874 --> 00:06:34,185
I can see the nest.
187
00:06:34,209 --> 00:06:37,121
I wonder what kind of bird
laid the eggs.
188
00:06:37,145 --> 00:06:39,257
They look really round.
189
00:06:39,281 --> 00:06:41,125
Hey! It went away.
190
00:06:41,149 --> 00:06:43,261
Hmm...
191
00:06:43,285 --> 00:06:44,063
It's back.
192
00:06:44,087 --> 00:06:45,129
Oh...
193
00:06:45,153 --> 00:06:46,998
The picture's terrible.
194
00:06:47,022 --> 00:06:49,133
Sorry about the quality.
195
00:06:49,157 --> 00:06:50,468
It's a cheap camera.
196
00:06:50,492 --> 00:06:52,603
The picture was good
five seconds ago.
197
00:06:52,627 --> 00:06:55,273
See how fast
technology gets outdated?
198
00:06:55,297 --> 00:06:58,500
Okay, I'm, uh,
I'm coming down now.
199
00:07:01,970 --> 00:07:03,815
You need to calm down.
200
00:07:03,839 --> 00:07:04,882
I'm getting concerned
201
00:07:04,906 --> 00:07:06,217
about how jumpy you are.
202
00:07:08,643 --> 00:07:11,289
Concerned-slash-annoyed.
203
00:07:11,313 --> 00:07:13,691
The nest feed is on my phone.
204
00:07:13,715 --> 00:07:14,226
Lousy picture,
205
00:07:14,250 --> 00:07:16,094
but I can see the eggs.
206
00:07:16,118 --> 00:07:17,161
Me too.
207
00:07:17,185 --> 00:07:17,963
I wonder how long
208
00:07:17,987 --> 00:07:20,098
until the little critters
start to hatch.
209
00:07:20,122 --> 00:07:21,165
No idea.
210
00:07:21,189 --> 00:07:22,791
Hey, we should start a pool.
211
00:07:23,592 --> 00:07:26,237
The whole town is watching this.
212
00:07:26,261 --> 00:07:28,373
I feel like I'm lying
to everyone.
213
00:07:28,397 --> 00:07:29,174
Relax.
214
00:07:29,198 --> 00:07:31,042
With all that mud
and dirt on them,
215
00:07:31,066 --> 00:07:32,110
no one knows what they are.
216
00:07:32,134 --> 00:07:33,177
But I know,
217
00:07:33,201 --> 00:07:34,779
and I'm deceiving them.
218
00:07:34,803 --> 00:07:35,847
Don't be a sap.
219
00:07:35,871 --> 00:07:36,913
It's just some fun.
220
00:07:36,938 --> 00:07:38,249
No one cares that much
about eggs.
221
00:07:38,273 --> 00:07:39,317
Hey, Lacey!
222
00:07:39,341 --> 00:07:40,385
Can I get an omelette?
223
00:07:40,409 --> 00:07:41,186
How dare you!
224
00:07:41,210 --> 00:07:43,232
That's disgusting!
225
00:07:43,257 --> 00:07:44,592
You're an animal!
226
00:08:05,280 --> 00:08:06,280
Aw...
227
00:08:06,787 --> 00:08:09,723
It's just
a cute little squirrel.
228
00:08:16,056 --> 00:08:17,529
What the hell?
229
00:08:17,561 --> 00:08:19,139
That damn squirrel!
230
00:08:19,163 --> 00:08:21,541
You're scared
of squirrels now, too?
231
00:08:21,565 --> 00:08:25,812
No, the squirrel's
in cahoots with the snake.
232
00:08:25,836 --> 00:08:27,147
Okay, enough.
233
00:08:27,171 --> 00:08:29,282
You've always been
a bit off the rails,
234
00:08:29,306 --> 00:08:32,318
but now your train's
a mile into the cornfield.
235
00:08:35,979 --> 00:08:38,358
Brent, have you checked
the egg-cam this morning?
236
00:08:38,382 --> 00:08:41,027
Not yet, no,
I've been pretty busy.
237
00:08:41,051 --> 00:08:43,163
Yeah, you look swamped.
238
00:08:43,187 --> 00:08:45,031
I'm just a little concerned
about the eggs.
239
00:08:45,055 --> 00:08:46,366
I haven't seen
a mama bird around,
240
00:08:46,390 --> 00:08:48,501
and there was that storm
last night.
241
00:08:48,525 --> 00:08:50,887
Oh, I wouldn't worry too much.
242
00:08:50,912 --> 00:08:52,496
Those eggs look
pretty resilient.
243
00:08:52,521 --> 00:08:54,374
Eggs are not resilient, Hank.
244
00:08:54,398 --> 00:08:56,242
They're literally
made of eggshells.
245
00:08:56,266 --> 00:08:58,912
Which people walk on
all the time.
246
00:08:58,936 --> 00:09:00,780
Go install a heat lamp.
247
00:09:00,804 --> 00:09:01,848
What?
248
00:09:01,872 --> 00:09:03,450
The eggs need to stay warm.
249
00:09:03,474 --> 00:09:05,051
Do you want them to die?
250
00:09:05,075 --> 00:09:06,119
No.
251
00:09:06,143 --> 00:09:07,187
You're right.
252
00:09:07,211 --> 00:09:09,055
I mean, not right, but...
253
00:09:09,079 --> 00:09:09,857
What?
254
00:09:09,881 --> 00:09:10,924
Nothing.
255
00:09:10,948 --> 00:09:12,525
Off to go get
a stupid heat lamp.
256
00:09:12,549 --> 00:09:15,462
Oh, I hope the eggs
will be all right.
257
00:09:15,486 --> 00:09:16,486
Yeah.
258
00:09:16,553 --> 00:09:19,199
You know, there was
a rain storm last night.
259
00:09:19,223 --> 00:09:20,557
Thanks for the update.
260
00:09:21,358 --> 00:09:24,804
I'm going to check and see
how the eggs are doing.
261
00:09:24,828 --> 00:09:25,606
Hmm...
262
00:09:25,630 --> 00:09:28,007
They look cleaner
than yesterday.
263
00:09:28,031 --> 00:09:30,143
I guess the rain
rinsed them off.
264
00:09:30,167 --> 00:09:32,812
Are those spots on the eggs?
265
00:09:32,836 --> 00:09:34,171
Or... wait,
266
00:09:34,351 --> 00:09:35,686
are those dimples?
267
00:09:35,790 --> 00:09:38,232
Those aren't eggs,
they're golf balls.
268
00:09:38,257 --> 00:09:40,729
Ha! Hank's been
playing den mother
269
00:09:40,754 --> 00:09:43,157
to a bunch of golf balls.
270
00:09:45,342 --> 00:09:47,224
I can't wait to see his face
271
00:09:47,249 --> 00:09:49,321
when he finds out.
272
00:09:49,346 --> 00:09:51,271
When who finds out what?
273
00:09:51,296 --> 00:09:52,630
Wait, there he is.
274
00:09:52,655 --> 00:09:54,928
Is he setting up a heat lamp?
275
00:09:54,952 --> 00:09:57,864
Oh, my God, he still
thinks they're eggs.
276
00:09:57,888 --> 00:09:59,733
What do you mean, "thinks"?
277
00:09:59,757 --> 00:10:01,601
They're golf balls. See?
278
00:10:01,625 --> 00:10:03,646
No... they can't be.
279
00:10:03,671 --> 00:10:04,471
Wow,
280
00:10:04,496 --> 00:10:06,670
Hank is even stupider
than we thought.
281
00:10:06,695 --> 00:10:08,563
Even more than we thought?
282
00:10:08,652 --> 00:10:10,709
Hard to quantify, but yes.
283
00:10:14,438 --> 00:10:15,749
Stay sharp, Karen.
284
00:10:15,773 --> 00:10:18,256
That convict could be
holing up in town.
285
00:10:18,281 --> 00:10:19,349
Yeah...
286
00:10:19,651 --> 00:10:21,519
If you were an escaped convict,
287
00:10:21,544 --> 00:10:23,680
what's the first thing you'd do?
288
00:10:23,781 --> 00:10:26,159
I'd go to the local blacksmith
289
00:10:26,183 --> 00:10:28,740
and get him to break
my leg irons.
290
00:10:28,765 --> 00:10:29,566
Okay.
291
00:10:29,591 --> 00:10:32,794
What would you do
if this wasn't 1920?
292
00:10:33,123 --> 00:10:35,279
The eggs on the roof
aren't eggs,
293
00:10:35,304 --> 00:10:36,529
they're golf balls.
294
00:10:36,554 --> 00:10:38,084
Really? That's weird.
295
00:10:38,109 --> 00:10:39,710
It's not weird, it's bad.
296
00:10:40,189 --> 00:10:42,859
I mean, it is weird
now that you mention it.
297
00:10:42,945 --> 00:10:44,013
Should we take a moment
298
00:10:44,068 --> 00:10:46,713
to address why there are
golf balls on the roof?
299
00:10:46,737 --> 00:10:48,581
Nah, we're short on time.
300
00:10:48,605 --> 00:10:50,984
Short on time? Well, okay.
301
00:10:51,008 --> 00:10:53,607
My point is, everyone
is making fun of Hank.
302
00:10:53,632 --> 00:10:55,234
Hank is used to getting teased.
303
00:10:55,259 --> 00:10:56,593
I'm sure it's all in good fun.
304
00:10:56,618 --> 00:10:57,686
Hey, everybody.
305
00:10:57,948 --> 00:10:59,259
Oh, hey, Hank.
306
00:10:59,283 --> 00:11:01,928
How are your little
chickadees doing?
307
00:11:03,554 --> 00:11:04,864
Yeah, remind me,
308
00:11:04,888 --> 00:11:07,608
are there three eggs
up there, or...
309
00:11:07,633 --> 00:11:08,633
Fore!
310
00:11:11,829 --> 00:11:13,139
Yeah, uh, just letting you know
311
00:11:13,163 --> 00:11:16,076
that the eggs are safe and warm
under the heat lamp.
312
00:11:16,100 --> 00:11:18,745
Probably be hatching
any month now,
313
00:11:18,769 --> 00:11:21,147
or however long eggs take
to hatch.
314
00:11:21,171 --> 00:11:21,998
Nine months?
315
00:11:22,023 --> 00:11:23,891
Uh, maybe more.
316
00:11:24,374 --> 00:11:25,952
Okay, well, uh,
317
00:11:25,976 --> 00:11:27,287
good talking to you guys.
318
00:11:27,311 --> 00:11:28,888
I'd better take off.
319
00:11:28,912 --> 00:11:31,024
I got a lot going on
with my, uh...
320
00:11:31,048 --> 00:11:32,625
various...
321
00:11:32,649 --> 00:11:35,028
enterprises...
322
00:11:35,920 --> 00:11:37,630
He still thinks they're eggs!
323
00:11:37,655 --> 00:11:41,043
That is a whole
new level of stupid.
324
00:11:41,068 --> 00:11:42,970
Hey, come on.
325
00:11:42,994 --> 00:11:43,771
See?
326
00:11:43,795 --> 00:11:45,105
We need to tell him.
327
00:11:45,129 --> 00:11:46,974
No, just let it play out.
328
00:11:46,998 --> 00:11:48,842
He'll figure it out
on his own time,
329
00:11:48,866 --> 00:11:50,978
and then that'll let him
save face.
330
00:11:51,002 --> 00:11:53,380
And how long
until he figures it out?
331
00:11:53,404 --> 00:11:54,448
I don't know.
332
00:11:54,472 --> 00:11:57,162
Before nine months, I'm sure.
333
00:12:00,733 --> 00:12:01,777
Hey, Emma. How's it...
334
00:12:01,801 --> 00:12:03,646
Whoa, you look like hell.
335
00:12:03,670 --> 00:12:04,713
I'm exhausted.
336
00:12:04,737 --> 00:12:06,315
Oscar kept me up all night.
337
00:12:06,339 --> 00:12:07,383
At his age?
338
00:12:07,407 --> 00:12:08,450
Impressive.
339
00:12:08,474 --> 00:12:09,518
What?
340
00:12:09,542 --> 00:12:11,120
No. God, no.
341
00:12:11,144 --> 00:12:13,522
This snake thing
has him screaming in his sleep,
342
00:12:13,546 --> 00:12:15,391
and it's annoying as hell.
343
00:12:15,415 --> 00:12:16,725
He's always been annoying,
344
00:12:16,749 --> 00:12:18,861
but now his train
is past the corn.
345
00:12:18,885 --> 00:12:20,996
His train is past the corn?
346
00:12:21,020 --> 00:12:23,132
I don't know,
it made sense last night.
347
00:12:23,156 --> 00:12:25,534
Okay, well,
it may surprise you to learn
348
00:12:25,558 --> 00:12:27,670
I know a little bit about this.
349
00:12:27,694 --> 00:12:29,004
That's the whole reason
I'm here.
350
00:12:29,028 --> 00:12:32,498
I figured you'd have a PhD
in snake therapy
351
00:12:32,523 --> 00:12:33,057
or something.
352
00:12:33,131 --> 00:12:34,877
There's no such thing
353
00:12:34,901 --> 00:12:36,745
as a PhD in snake therapy.
354
00:12:36,769 --> 00:12:37,547
It's a diploma,
355
00:12:37,571 --> 00:12:39,682
and, yes, I have
completed the program.
356
00:12:44,023 --> 00:12:44,824
Can you explain
357
00:12:44,918 --> 00:12:47,855
why we're staking out
Helen's clothesline?
358
00:12:47,981 --> 00:12:51,427
Because an escaped convict
is gonna need a disguise,
359
00:12:51,451 --> 00:12:53,562
so he'll be looking
for a clothesline
360
00:12:53,586 --> 00:12:55,164
to steal clothes from.
361
00:12:55,188 --> 00:12:56,498
You really need to see
362
00:12:56,522 --> 00:12:59,099
some more contemporary
prison movies.
363
00:13:03,997 --> 00:13:05,040
Hey!
364
00:13:05,064 --> 00:13:07,710
Are you ogling my undergarments?
365
00:13:07,734 --> 00:13:10,646
You nasty little nymphos!
366
00:13:10,670 --> 00:13:11,714
That's underwear?
367
00:13:11,738 --> 00:13:14,116
I thought it was a fitted sheet.
368
00:13:14,140 --> 00:13:15,451
Hey, Brent,
369
00:13:15,475 --> 00:13:17,319
you wanna put a bet down
on the egg pool?
370
00:13:17,343 --> 00:13:19,722
I don't think
golfballs hatch, Rheena.
371
00:13:19,746 --> 00:13:21,323
You might want to Google that.
372
00:13:21,347 --> 00:13:22,925
We changed the pool.
373
00:13:22,949 --> 00:13:23,993
Now we're taking bets
374
00:13:24,017 --> 00:13:27,730
on when Hank will realize
how stupid he is.
375
00:13:27,754 --> 00:13:30,399
Oh. Well, that's nice, Mavis.
376
00:13:30,423 --> 00:13:31,734
No, thanks.
377
00:13:31,758 --> 00:13:34,670
They really have
ramped up the jerkiness,
378
00:13:34,694 --> 00:13:35,472
haven't they?
379
00:13:35,496 --> 00:13:36,805
You're right,
we should tell Hank.
380
00:13:36,829 --> 00:13:38,407
No, you were right.
381
00:13:38,431 --> 00:13:39,475
We can't tell him now.
382
00:13:39,499 --> 00:13:41,343
It's gone on too long.
383
00:13:41,367 --> 00:13:42,678
He'll be super embarrassed,
384
00:13:42,702 --> 00:13:45,614
but I think I know a way
for Hank to save face
385
00:13:45,638 --> 00:13:47,483
and teach them a lesson.
386
00:13:55,515 --> 00:13:56,558
Oh.
387
00:13:56,582 --> 00:13:57,917
Well, there's the problem.
388
00:14:01,654 --> 00:14:04,566
Well, I guess I'll just
check the ol' webcam
389
00:14:04,590 --> 00:14:05,901
and see how the nest is doing.
390
00:14:05,925 --> 00:14:08,570
See if Hank has
come to his senses.
391
00:14:08,594 --> 00:14:11,507
Wow, the picture's
way better now,
392
00:14:11,531 --> 00:14:14,443
and wait just one minute here,
393
00:14:14,467 --> 00:14:15,511
it appears
394
00:14:15,535 --> 00:14:17,646
that those are not
golf balls after all,
395
00:14:17,670 --> 00:14:21,383
but are rather, indeed, eggs.
396
00:14:21,407 --> 00:14:22,718
"Rather indeed"?
397
00:14:22,742 --> 00:14:25,654
Well, I'll be an uncle's monkey.
398
00:14:25,678 --> 00:14:28,857
Oh, they really are eggs
after all.
399
00:14:28,881 --> 00:14:31,527
Eh, seems you guys were
a little heavy-handed
400
00:14:31,551 --> 00:14:32,861
with your mocking of Hank,
401
00:14:32,885 --> 00:14:36,598
while I, it can be noted,
did no mocking whatsoever.
402
00:14:36,622 --> 00:14:38,200
"It can be noted"?
403
00:14:38,224 --> 00:14:40,602
Maybe we were
a little hard on Hank.
404
00:14:40,626 --> 00:14:42,204
You're right, you do suck.
405
00:14:42,228 --> 00:14:43,272
I didn't say we...
406
00:14:43,296 --> 00:14:44,606
Apology accepted,
407
00:14:44,630 --> 00:14:45,941
on behalf of Hank.
408
00:14:45,965 --> 00:14:47,276
And you all suck.
409
00:14:47,300 --> 00:14:49,088
That's also from Hank.
410
00:14:52,442 --> 00:14:53,510
All right, I'm here.
411
00:14:53,706 --> 00:14:54,750
What do you want?
412
00:14:54,774 --> 00:14:55,818
Wanda's going to help you
413
00:14:55,842 --> 00:14:57,686
get over your snake problem.
414
00:14:57,710 --> 00:15:00,355
That way, I can get some sleep.
415
00:15:00,379 --> 00:15:02,491
Did I mention I wasn't sleeping?
416
00:15:02,515 --> 00:15:03,559
Nine times.
417
00:15:03,583 --> 00:15:05,451
I'm going to go nap in the car.
418
00:15:06,786 --> 00:15:08,363
Okay, Oscar,
419
00:15:08,387 --> 00:15:09,698
the first step
420
00:15:09,722 --> 00:15:11,834
is for you to stop
looking at yourself
421
00:15:11,858 --> 00:15:12,901
as the victim,
422
00:15:12,925 --> 00:15:15,037
and think of yourself
as the predator.
423
00:15:15,061 --> 00:15:16,905
Like in that
Schwarzenegger movie?
424
00:15:16,929 --> 00:15:20,109
No, although I would love
to see you in dreadlocks.
425
00:15:20,133 --> 00:15:24,646
Think of yourself
as a snake's natural predator.
426
00:15:24,670 --> 00:15:25,448
A mongoose.
427
00:15:25,472 --> 00:15:26,515
A man-goose?
428
00:15:26,539 --> 00:15:27,850
Is that like a werewolf?
429
00:15:27,874 --> 00:15:28,917
That'd be a were-goose!
430
00:15:28,941 --> 00:15:30,519
Did I say were-goose?
431
00:15:30,543 --> 00:15:31,854
Forget it.
432
00:15:31,878 --> 00:15:34,790
Just close your eyes,
433
00:15:34,814 --> 00:15:36,391
and your mouth,
434
00:15:36,415 --> 00:15:38,260
and open your mind.
435
00:15:38,284 --> 00:15:41,997
You are a fierce
feral carnivore.
436
00:15:42,021 --> 00:15:44,666
You were born to do one thing...
437
00:15:44,690 --> 00:15:46,268
kill your enemy,
438
00:15:46,292 --> 00:15:49,361
the scaly slithering snake.
439
00:15:49,386 --> 00:15:51,041
Now, open your eyes.
440
00:15:52,965 --> 00:15:55,822
No, no, you're the predator!
441
00:16:03,401 --> 00:16:04,361
Hey, Wanda.
442
00:16:04,385 --> 00:16:05,163
Hank...
443
00:16:05,187 --> 00:16:06,230
Why the sour puss?
444
00:16:06,254 --> 00:16:07,985
You look like
you swallowed a sock.
445
00:16:08,010 --> 00:16:09,377
It's the eggs.
446
00:16:09,416 --> 00:16:11,314
Everyone's excited
for them to hatch,
447
00:16:11,362 --> 00:16:12,405
which they won't,
448
00:16:12,429 --> 00:16:13,473
and it's killing me.
449
00:16:13,497 --> 00:16:14,541
Well, good news.
450
00:16:14,565 --> 00:16:15,875
You're not fooling anyone.
451
00:16:15,899 --> 00:16:17,744
Everybody already knows
they're golf balls,
452
00:16:17,768 --> 00:16:19,612
and they all just think
you're a moron.
453
00:16:19,636 --> 00:16:20,414
What?
454
00:16:20,438 --> 00:16:21,481
Yeah, they're even taking bets
455
00:16:21,505 --> 00:16:23,616
to see how long
before you figure it out.
456
00:16:23,640 --> 00:16:24,951
But I already figured it out.
457
00:16:24,975 --> 00:16:27,620
I was just doing this
for Brent and Lacey,
458
00:16:27,644 --> 00:16:28,688
to protect their feelings.
459
00:16:28,712 --> 00:16:30,290
Oh, they're in on it, too.
460
00:16:30,314 --> 00:16:31,358
What?
461
00:16:31,382 --> 00:16:32,692
I was doing this for them,
462
00:16:32,716 --> 00:16:34,027
and they just left me hanging
463
00:16:34,051 --> 00:16:35,895
so everyone can make fun of me?
464
00:16:35,919 --> 00:16:37,497
Those jerks!
465
00:16:37,521 --> 00:16:39,099
Glad I could help.
466
00:16:39,123 --> 00:16:39,900
Gotta go.
467
00:16:39,924 --> 00:16:41,768
There's others
who need my assistance.
468
00:16:41,792 --> 00:16:44,971
Sometimes I think
I give too much.
469
00:16:44,995 --> 00:16:46,573
Makin' fun of me..
470
00:16:46,597 --> 00:16:48,708
Maybe it's time I show everyone
471
00:16:48,732 --> 00:16:52,979
just how stupid Hank Yarbo is.
472
00:16:53,003 --> 00:16:53,781
Ow!
473
00:16:53,805 --> 00:16:56,182
Okay, now it's time.
474
00:16:58,342 --> 00:17:00,186
What was that?
475
00:17:00,210 --> 00:17:01,788
Was that a hiss?
476
00:17:02,880 --> 00:17:04,190
That's a bowl of mints.
477
00:17:04,214 --> 00:17:06,059
It's not even snake-shaped.
478
00:17:06,083 --> 00:17:08,194
Your therapy is garbage.
479
00:17:08,218 --> 00:17:09,796
Time to try
a different approach.
480
00:17:09,820 --> 00:17:12,198
Let's get cognitive up in here.
481
00:17:12,222 --> 00:17:13,000
Get what?
482
00:17:13,024 --> 00:17:14,601
We'll put Oscar in a situation
483
00:17:14,625 --> 00:17:15,935
where he's dealing with his fear
484
00:17:15,959 --> 00:17:18,071
before he even knows
he's dealing with it.
485
00:17:18,095 --> 00:17:19,139
How do you do that?
486
00:17:19,163 --> 00:17:22,075
First,
you trap a snake in a box.
487
00:17:22,099 --> 00:17:24,744
Two,
you make a hole in that box.
488
00:17:24,768 --> 00:17:26,880
C, he puts his hand
in the box...
489
00:17:26,904 --> 00:17:28,748
Are you rapping at me?
490
00:17:28,772 --> 00:17:30,617
You never saw that sketch?
491
00:17:30,641 --> 00:17:32,752
What time do you go to
bed Saturday nights?
492
00:17:32,776 --> 00:17:33,820
9:30.
493
00:17:33,844 --> 00:17:34,888
Oh.
494
00:17:34,912 --> 00:17:35,955
You're probably not
their target demo.
495
00:17:35,979 --> 00:17:39,159
Just tell me where Oscar was
when he saw the snake.
496
00:17:39,183 --> 00:17:43,163
Weird to think
Hank was right all along.
497
00:17:43,187 --> 00:17:43,964
Yeah.
498
00:17:43,988 --> 00:17:45,832
I think I'm gonna be
a bit nicer to him
499
00:17:45,856 --> 00:17:47,167
from now on.
500
00:17:47,191 --> 00:17:48,768
I think you all should be.
501
00:17:48,792 --> 00:17:50,103
I wonder where Hank is.
502
00:17:50,127 --> 00:17:51,704
His truck is outside.
503
00:17:51,728 --> 00:17:54,107
Hello out there in TV land.
504
00:17:54,131 --> 00:17:55,175
It's Hank here...
505
00:17:55,199 --> 00:17:57,844
or should I say Stupid Hank,
506
00:17:57,868 --> 00:17:59,979
because I'm so stupid,
507
00:18:00,003 --> 00:18:02,382
I don't know one thing
from another.
508
00:18:02,406 --> 00:18:03,184
In fact,
509
00:18:03,208 --> 00:18:05,585
why don't you all come outside,
510
00:18:05,609 --> 00:18:06,653
and I'll show you
511
00:18:06,677 --> 00:18:09,322
just how stupid I really am.
512
00:18:09,346 --> 00:18:10,924
Step on up, folks.
513
00:18:10,948 --> 00:18:12,525
It's time to check
514
00:18:12,549 --> 00:18:15,195
on these sweet
little birdie's eggs.
515
00:18:15,219 --> 00:18:19,732
Look at them,
so small, so fragile.
516
00:18:19,756 --> 00:18:22,135
Maybe it's time for a little...
517
00:18:22,159 --> 00:18:24,804
Texas Scramble!
518
00:18:24,828 --> 00:18:26,673
- Hank, don't!
- We already...
519
00:18:26,697 --> 00:18:28,031
Fore!
520
00:18:28,832 --> 00:18:30,410
- No!
- Why?
521
00:18:30,434 --> 00:18:31,434
-No!
522
00:18:34,171 --> 00:18:36,015
Good thing we didn't
tell him the truth.
523
00:18:36,039 --> 00:18:38,564
This is much less traumatizing.
524
00:18:44,581 --> 00:18:45,625
A-ha!
525
00:18:45,649 --> 00:18:47,518
Gotcha!
526
00:18:51,788 --> 00:18:54,434
This is less exciting
than I thought it would be.
527
00:18:54,458 --> 00:18:55,502
Are you sure they said
528
00:18:55,526 --> 00:18:57,103
the suspect was headed this way?
529
00:18:57,127 --> 00:18:59,530
They said "he may be
in the area,"
530
00:18:59,555 --> 00:19:00,572
if I recall correctly.
531
00:19:00,597 --> 00:19:03,776
No offense, but your recall
is a little suspect itself.
532
00:19:03,800 --> 00:19:04,844
No, I remember.
533
00:19:04,868 --> 00:19:07,780
It said he was thin, aggressive,
534
00:19:07,804 --> 00:19:08,582
good at hiding,
535
00:19:08,606 --> 00:19:10,984
has retractable fangs,
only eats...
536
00:19:11,008 --> 00:19:13,119
Hang on, "retractable fangs"?
537
00:19:13,143 --> 00:19:16,055
Show me the actual email.
538
00:19:16,079 --> 00:19:17,123
Wow.
539
00:19:17,147 --> 00:19:20,326
So it's safe to say
you didn't read this,
540
00:19:20,350 --> 00:19:22,462
ya sort of skimmed it.
541
00:19:22,486 --> 00:19:24,063
Okay, Oscar,
542
00:19:24,087 --> 00:19:25,932
I have placed
a harmless rubber tube
543
00:19:25,956 --> 00:19:27,000
inside this box.
544
00:19:27,024 --> 00:19:28,868
You're going to put
your hand in it
545
00:19:28,892 --> 00:19:29,936
and pet it.
546
00:19:29,960 --> 00:19:32,605
How is petting a tube
going to help?
547
00:19:32,629 --> 00:19:34,741
Who's the non-licensed
therapist here?
548
00:19:34,765 --> 00:19:37,410
P.S. It's a live snake.
549
00:19:37,434 --> 00:19:37,945
Once he realizes
550
00:19:37,969 --> 00:19:40,079
he's been petting
an actual snake,
551
00:19:40,103 --> 00:19:41,948
he won't be afraid anymore.
552
00:19:41,972 --> 00:19:43,550
This diploma program,
553
00:19:43,574 --> 00:19:45,709
did you pass it or fail it?
554
00:19:47,044 --> 00:19:48,888
What kind of rubber is this?
555
00:19:48,912 --> 00:19:50,757
It's leathery.
556
00:19:50,781 --> 00:19:53,960
Attention,
Citizens of Dog River!
557
00:19:53,984 --> 00:19:55,828
Be advised that a venomous cobra
558
00:19:55,852 --> 00:19:59,566
escaped from the custody
of an Alberta zoo employee
559
00:19:59,590 --> 00:20:02,502
as he was driving
through this area.
560
00:20:02,526 --> 00:20:05,438
Repeat, a live cobra,
561
00:20:05,462 --> 00:20:06,773
six feet long,
562
00:20:06,797 --> 00:20:08,908
green and grey hood,
563
00:20:08,932 --> 00:20:10,243
not hoodie.
564
00:20:10,267 --> 00:20:12,111
Be on the lookout.
565
00:20:12,135 --> 00:20:13,179
What are they saying?
566
00:20:13,203 --> 00:20:15,048
Something about a cookout?
567
00:20:15,072 --> 00:20:17,450
Cobra! Cobra!
568
00:20:17,474 --> 00:20:18,252
Live cobra!
569
00:20:18,276 --> 00:20:19,852
It's a live cobra?
570
00:20:19,876 --> 00:20:20,920
Ha, ha, ha!
571
00:20:20,944 --> 00:20:23,056
So I was right all along!
572
00:20:23,080 --> 00:20:25,191
Now who's the idiot?
573
00:20:25,215 --> 00:20:26,793
Well, you still have your hand
574
00:20:26,817 --> 00:20:28,103
inside the cobra box...
575
00:20:34,501 --> 00:20:35,432
Ah, ah, ah!
576
00:20:35,457 --> 00:20:36,978
Stay down, Kai.
577
00:20:37,003 --> 00:20:38,955
You named your cobra "Kai"?
578
00:20:38,980 --> 00:20:40,581
Yeah, pretty clever, eh?
579
00:20:40,606 --> 00:20:42,208
I'm a bit of a movie buff.
580
00:20:42,233 --> 00:20:43,568
Have you seen "Get Out"?
581
00:20:43,593 --> 00:20:45,182
Because I think your snake has.
582
00:20:45,207 --> 00:20:46,717
Oh, you don't
have to worry about Kai.
583
00:20:46,742 --> 00:20:48,343
Yes, he is venomous,
584
00:20:48,368 --> 00:20:49,970
and sure, he can be aggressive,
585
00:20:50,180 --> 00:20:52,143
but that's only around
people he doesn't know.
586
00:20:52,168 --> 00:20:54,838
Uh... he doesn't know us.
587
00:20:54,863 --> 00:20:56,041
Have you reached out?
588
00:20:56,066 --> 00:20:57,134
Made an effort?
589
00:20:57,159 --> 00:20:59,028
You can't put this all on him.
590
00:21:00,412 --> 00:21:02,014
No, no, Kai,
they don't hate you.
591
00:21:02,039 --> 00:21:03,686
They just don't know you.
592
00:21:03,711 --> 00:21:05,978
Besides, you don't
need these hicks.
593
00:21:06,003 --> 00:21:07,083
Let's get back to the city.
594
00:21:11,780 --> 00:21:13,648
♪ I don't know
595
00:21:13,673 --> 00:21:16,076
♪ The same things
you don't know ♪
596
00:21:19,191 --> 00:21:21,059
♪ I don't know
597
00:21:21,084 --> 00:21:23,220
♪ I just... don't know
598
00:21:26,508 --> 00:21:28,643
♪ Ooh...
599
00:21:28,668 --> 00:21:30,270
♪ It's a great big place
600
00:21:30,295 --> 00:21:32,430
♪ Ooh...
601
00:21:32,455 --> 00:21:33,861
♪ Full of nothin' but space
602
00:21:33,886 --> 00:21:36,021
♪ Ooh...
603
00:21:36,046 --> 00:21:37,947
♪ And it's my happy place
604
00:21:37,972 --> 00:21:40,150
♪ I don't know ♪
605
00:21:40,174 --> 00:21:42,174
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