All language subtitles for Corner.Gas.Animated.S04E01.Parachute.the.Messenger.720p.HDTV.AAC2.0.H.264-BTN-ing

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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:09,039 --> 00:00:11,126 Whoa. 2 00:00:11,151 --> 00:00:12,485 Now, hold on. 3 00:00:12,510 --> 00:00:14,646 I've got a coupon for that quinn-o-ah. 4 00:00:14,671 --> 00:00:16,539 That's the only reason he's buying it. 5 00:00:16,564 --> 00:00:19,501 He doesn't even know what quinn-o-ah is. 6 00:00:19,526 --> 00:00:21,928 Hey, you'll never guess what I just saw. 7 00:00:21,953 --> 00:00:23,038 A gas station? 8 00:00:23,063 --> 00:00:24,640 A door to a gas station? 9 00:00:24,664 --> 00:00:27,043 Your life pass you by due to years of inaction 10 00:00:27,067 --> 00:00:28,377 fueled by self-doubt? 11 00:00:28,401 --> 00:00:30,246 Yes, yes, and ouch. 12 00:00:30,270 --> 00:00:33,449 I also saw a box parachuting from a plane. 13 00:00:33,473 --> 00:00:36,385 So if anyone was expecting a package, 14 00:00:36,409 --> 00:00:38,254 it got dropped out in the field. 15 00:00:38,278 --> 00:00:39,856 What year do you think it is? 16 00:00:39,880 --> 00:00:41,724 What year do you think it is? 17 00:00:41,748 --> 00:00:44,127 That wasn't a package falling from the sky, 18 00:00:44,151 --> 00:00:44,928 it was a person. 19 00:00:44,952 --> 00:00:46,262 Oh... 20 00:00:46,286 --> 00:00:48,397 and he delivers the package? 21 00:00:48,421 --> 00:00:49,465 Or she, 22 00:00:49,489 --> 00:00:50,489 and no. 23 00:00:50,557 --> 00:00:52,401 A skydiving school just opened up nearby. 24 00:00:52,425 --> 00:00:53,469 I didn't know that. 25 00:00:53,493 --> 00:00:56,139 Why would anyone pay to ride in a plane 26 00:00:56,163 --> 00:00:57,740 just to jump out of it? 27 00:00:57,764 --> 00:00:58,807 People say it's thrilling. 28 00:00:58,832 --> 00:01:02,278 "Thrilling" is pulling a fast one on a store clerk 29 00:01:02,302 --> 00:01:05,214 by using an expired coupon. 30 00:01:05,238 --> 00:01:06,816 How am I the only one 31 00:01:06,840 --> 00:01:09,218 who didn't know about the skydiving school? 32 00:01:09,242 --> 00:01:10,820 Why am I out of the loop? 33 00:01:10,844 --> 00:01:12,688 You know about all the important stuff. 34 00:01:12,712 --> 00:01:14,023 Like the tigers. 35 00:01:14,047 --> 00:01:14,825 The what? 36 00:01:14,849 --> 00:01:16,159 The tigers. 37 00:01:16,183 --> 00:01:17,760 Remember, those circus trucks crashed, 38 00:01:17,784 --> 00:01:19,920 and the man-eating tigers escaped? 39 00:01:20,987 --> 00:01:22,565 Boy, you are outta the loop. 40 00:01:22,589 --> 00:01:24,967 You be careful out there. 41 00:01:26,059 --> 00:01:29,772 ♪ You think there's not a lot goin' on ♪ 42 00:01:29,796 --> 00:01:32,441 ♪ Look closer, baby you're so wrong ♪ 43 00:01:37,804 --> 00:01:38,848 Come on! 44 00:01:38,872 --> 00:01:41,250 I get no love for "Beatz Cop"? 45 00:01:41,274 --> 00:01:44,187 I patrol the streets and provide the beats! 46 00:01:44,211 --> 00:01:46,322 Uh-oh, Karen's lost it. 47 00:01:46,346 --> 00:01:47,924 I knew this day would come. 48 00:01:47,948 --> 00:01:50,860 You distract her while I steal her gun. 49 00:01:50,884 --> 00:01:53,262 No, she's referring to our group text. 50 00:01:53,286 --> 00:01:55,131 We're all coming up with our own rap names. 51 00:01:55,155 --> 00:01:56,199 Mine's "Two Grillz." 52 00:01:56,223 --> 00:01:58,067 It was "DJ Hot Soup," 53 00:01:58,091 --> 00:02:00,203 but everyone thought that was conceited. 54 00:02:00,227 --> 00:02:02,071 There's a group text? 55 00:02:02,095 --> 00:02:03,139 Aw, great, 56 00:02:03,163 --> 00:02:05,007 I'm out of the loop and the group. 57 00:02:05,031 --> 00:02:06,609 Is everyone mad at me or something? 58 00:02:06,633 --> 00:02:07,677 No one's mad. 59 00:02:07,701 --> 00:02:09,278 You just have to make an effort 60 00:02:09,302 --> 00:02:10,880 to get in the group loop. 61 00:02:10,904 --> 00:02:12,215 You can't wait for the group loop 62 00:02:12,239 --> 00:02:13,816 to come to youp. 63 00:02:13,840 --> 00:02:14,884 I mean "you." 64 00:02:14,908 --> 00:02:16,219 I responded, Karen. 65 00:02:16,243 --> 00:02:19,689 I sent you an ROTFLMFAO emoji. 66 00:02:19,713 --> 00:02:20,756 I responded... 67 00:02:20,780 --> 00:02:22,091 with three eye rolls. 68 00:02:22,115 --> 00:02:23,693 I didn't get any of those. 69 00:02:23,717 --> 00:02:26,362 There's a technical glitch with our service right now. 70 00:02:26,386 --> 00:02:27,546 No texts are going through... 71 00:02:30,657 --> 00:02:32,501 ...but we can still call each other. 72 00:02:32,525 --> 00:02:33,303 Call? 73 00:02:33,327 --> 00:02:34,904 On the telly-phone? 74 00:02:34,928 --> 00:02:36,505 What year is this? 75 00:02:36,529 --> 00:02:38,107 What year do you think it is? 76 00:02:38,131 --> 00:02:39,175 I'm honestly not sure, 77 00:02:39,199 --> 00:02:40,243 and Brent's not talking. 78 00:02:40,267 --> 00:02:43,179 This explains why I haven't heard back from Won. 79 00:02:43,203 --> 00:02:45,848 I'm waiting to hear if my kumquats arrived. 80 00:02:45,872 --> 00:02:47,183 Tell you what, Davis. 81 00:02:47,207 --> 00:02:47,985 I'll go to Foo Mart, 82 00:02:48,009 --> 00:02:51,187 find out about your kumsquats, and report back. 83 00:02:51,211 --> 00:02:52,255 Keep you in the loop. 84 00:02:52,279 --> 00:02:54,390 Uh, does anyone have a message 85 00:02:54,414 --> 00:02:56,525 they'd like me to deliver while I'm out? 86 00:02:56,549 --> 00:02:58,661 If you see Bu, tell her I say "hey." 87 00:02:58,685 --> 00:03:02,398 Uh, okay, um... I have to write this down. 88 00:03:02,422 --> 00:03:04,533 Can I ask you a question? 89 00:03:04,557 --> 00:03:06,936 If the question is "what can I get you?" 90 00:03:06,960 --> 00:03:08,004 then, yes. 91 00:03:08,028 --> 00:03:10,940 I booked an appointment to go skydiving tomorrow... 92 00:03:10,964 --> 00:03:12,008 And you want me 93 00:03:12,032 --> 00:03:13,075 to be the executor of your will? 94 00:03:13,099 --> 00:03:14,143 No! 95 00:03:14,167 --> 00:03:16,545 It was my childhood dream to go skydiving. 96 00:03:16,569 --> 00:03:17,880 I actually went up one time, 97 00:03:17,904 --> 00:03:18,948 but chickened out. 98 00:03:18,972 --> 00:03:20,283 I really want to try again, 99 00:03:20,307 --> 00:03:22,151 but I'll need someone there to give me a little push. 100 00:03:22,175 --> 00:03:23,219 Would you... 101 00:03:23,243 --> 00:03:24,287 Are you kidding?! 102 00:03:24,311 --> 00:03:25,888 It was my childhood dream 103 00:03:25,912 --> 00:03:27,757 to push someone out of a plane! 104 00:03:27,781 --> 00:03:30,426 I was thinking more of an emotional push, 105 00:03:30,450 --> 00:03:31,494 like support. 106 00:03:31,518 --> 00:03:32,296 Oh. 107 00:03:32,320 --> 00:03:33,629 I can do a bit of that, 108 00:03:33,653 --> 00:03:35,498 but when push comes to shove, 109 00:03:35,522 --> 00:03:37,900 I am really good at shoving, 110 00:03:37,924 --> 00:03:39,502 and pushing. 111 00:03:42,195 --> 00:03:44,040 So since texting is down, 112 00:03:44,064 --> 00:03:45,641 I'm providing a new service 113 00:03:45,665 --> 00:03:48,044 by delivering messages in person. 114 00:03:48,068 --> 00:03:49,111 You're a message boy? 115 00:03:49,135 --> 00:03:52,315 Well, I mean, I prefer the term "text-nician." 116 00:03:52,339 --> 00:03:54,450 Anyway, Davis wants to know 117 00:03:54,474 --> 00:03:56,585 if his, uh, skumtots have arrived. 118 00:03:56,609 --> 00:03:58,988 If you mean kumquats, then yes. 119 00:03:59,012 --> 00:04:01,390 Uh, aren't those just oranges? 120 00:04:01,414 --> 00:04:02,992 He doesn't know the difference. 121 00:04:03,016 --> 00:04:03,794 Hmm. 122 00:04:03,818 --> 00:04:05,127 Hey, uh, is Bu around? 123 00:04:05,151 --> 00:04:06,195 I have a text for her. 124 00:04:06,219 --> 00:04:07,263 No, 125 00:04:07,287 --> 00:04:08,597 and I'm not sure if I'm comfortable 126 00:04:08,621 --> 00:04:10,199 with you texting my daughter. 127 00:04:10,223 --> 00:04:11,801 I'm not the one texting her. 128 00:04:11,825 --> 00:04:13,402 Don't make it creepy. 129 00:04:13,426 --> 00:04:16,339 I'm just a regular grown man between two teenage girls that... 130 00:04:16,363 --> 00:04:18,207 Oh, now I hear it. 131 00:04:20,367 --> 00:04:23,279 You can't confiscate my rototiller! 132 00:04:23,303 --> 00:04:25,414 I'm pretty sure we just did. 133 00:04:25,438 --> 00:04:26,749 Yup, there it is. 134 00:04:26,773 --> 00:04:29,952 We warned you last year about tilling the boulevard. 135 00:04:29,976 --> 00:04:31,287 That's town property. 136 00:04:31,311 --> 00:04:32,888 Well, this town is an idiot. 137 00:04:32,912 --> 00:04:36,092 That boulevard is prime potato-planting soil! 138 00:04:36,116 --> 00:04:38,227 Sorry, but the law's the law. 139 00:04:38,251 --> 00:04:41,163 Take it from me, "Affidavis." 140 00:04:41,187 --> 00:04:42,498 That's my rap name. 141 00:04:42,522 --> 00:04:43,300 Word. 142 00:04:43,324 --> 00:04:46,235 This isn't over! 143 00:04:47,061 --> 00:04:48,371 So you're a message boy. 144 00:04:48,395 --> 00:04:51,040 No, I personally deliver texts. 145 00:04:51,064 --> 00:04:53,175 Except I call them "talksts." 146 00:04:53,199 --> 00:04:54,510 I am so in the loop now. 147 00:04:54,534 --> 00:04:57,179 I'm in more loops than a, um... 148 00:04:57,203 --> 00:04:58,247 What's in a lotta loops? 149 00:04:58,271 --> 00:04:59,315 A belt? 150 00:04:59,339 --> 00:05:00,916 Ah, I was hoping for something funnier. 151 00:05:00,940 --> 00:05:02,785 Anyway, I know stuff now. 152 00:05:02,809 --> 00:05:04,387 Like Zeke and Lanny are going to the movies 153 00:05:04,411 --> 00:05:05,454 on Thursday, 154 00:05:05,478 --> 00:05:07,323 unless Zeke fakes being sick. 155 00:05:07,347 --> 00:05:08,391 Should you be telling me this? 156 00:05:08,415 --> 00:05:10,259 Uh, oh, maybe not. 157 00:05:10,283 --> 00:05:11,861 I probably have a privacy policy 158 00:05:11,885 --> 00:05:13,195 in my terms of service. 159 00:05:13,219 --> 00:05:14,263 I never read it. 160 00:05:14,287 --> 00:05:16,665 Forget what I told you about Zeke and Lanny, 161 00:05:16,689 --> 00:05:18,000 and Lacey going skydiving. 162 00:05:18,024 --> 00:05:19,335 Lacey's going skydiving? 163 00:05:19,359 --> 00:05:20,137 Oops. 164 00:05:20,161 --> 00:05:21,470 Now forget I told you that. 165 00:05:21,494 --> 00:05:23,339 Oh, this is not gonna go well. 166 00:05:23,363 --> 00:05:24,407 No, no, don't worry, 167 00:05:24,431 --> 00:05:26,008 she'll be wearing a parachute. 168 00:05:26,032 --> 00:05:26,566 Turns out, "skydiving" 169 00:05:26,833 --> 00:05:29,478 is just a 35-cent word for "parachuting." 170 00:05:29,502 --> 00:05:31,614 It isn't Lacey's safety I'm worried about. 171 00:05:31,638 --> 00:05:33,749 It's the fact that she's gonna rope me into this. 172 00:05:33,773 --> 00:05:36,685 She always comes running to me to be her cheerleader. 173 00:05:36,709 --> 00:05:40,156 Oh, now I'm picturing you in a tiny skirt. 174 00:05:40,180 --> 00:05:42,024 Hey, Brent, can I have tomorrow off? 175 00:05:42,048 --> 00:05:42,558 Why? 176 00:05:42,582 --> 00:05:43,360 Because I won't be here. 177 00:05:43,384 --> 00:05:46,028 Oh, then I guess I better give you the day off. 178 00:05:46,052 --> 00:05:47,363 I'm telling you, Hank, 179 00:05:47,387 --> 00:05:48,697 Lacey can't do anything 180 00:05:48,721 --> 00:05:50,299 without me holding her hand. 181 00:05:50,323 --> 00:05:52,701 When have you ever held a woman's hand? 182 00:05:52,725 --> 00:05:54,303 Or a woman's anything? 183 00:05:54,327 --> 00:05:56,439 Hey! I've held my mom's purse, 184 00:05:56,463 --> 00:05:58,307 but I'm talking metaphorically here. 185 00:05:58,331 --> 00:06:00,176 Lacey relies on my logic. 186 00:06:00,200 --> 00:06:02,044 She only trusts my judgment. 187 00:06:02,068 --> 00:06:02,846 Really? 188 00:06:02,870 --> 00:06:04,980 You're the only one she trusts? 189 00:06:05,004 --> 00:06:06,849 She'd never turn to anyone else? 190 00:06:06,873 --> 00:06:08,184 Who else is there? 191 00:06:08,208 --> 00:06:08,985 Wow... 192 00:06:09,009 --> 00:06:10,052 You're basically 193 00:06:10,076 --> 00:06:11,921 her emotional support animal. 194 00:06:11,945 --> 00:06:12,456 I am. 195 00:06:12,480 --> 00:06:13,789 Except I don't get snacks. 196 00:06:13,813 --> 00:06:15,391 She feeds you all day long. 197 00:06:15,415 --> 00:06:16,459 Those are meals. 198 00:06:16,483 --> 00:06:19,128 Snacks should come in between. 199 00:06:22,088 --> 00:06:23,399 The lock is cut. 200 00:06:23,423 --> 00:06:25,000 And guess what's missing. 201 00:06:25,024 --> 00:06:27,670 Oh, I'm never good at these puzzles. 202 00:06:27,694 --> 00:06:29,271 Do you have a "before" picture? 203 00:06:29,295 --> 00:06:30,873 No, but here's a hint. 204 00:06:30,897 --> 00:06:32,741 It's the rototiller. 205 00:06:32,765 --> 00:06:34,343 Oscar... 206 00:06:37,570 --> 00:06:38,614 So, Oscar, 207 00:06:38,638 --> 00:06:40,749 you know anything about a missing rototiller? 208 00:06:40,773 --> 00:06:43,152 Yeah, it's missing from my shed, 209 00:06:43,176 --> 00:06:44,753 because you took it away from me! 210 00:06:44,777 --> 00:06:46,889 And now it's gone from the impound. 211 00:06:46,913 --> 00:06:47,957 Gone? 212 00:06:47,981 --> 00:06:49,558 Well, I didn't take it! 213 00:06:49,582 --> 00:06:51,427 What proof do you have? 214 00:06:53,319 --> 00:06:55,164 Oscar, I have a talkst from Emma 215 00:06:55,188 --> 00:06:56,765 about you taking the rototiller. 216 00:06:56,789 --> 00:06:57,789 What? 217 00:06:57,857 --> 00:07:00,503 Hang on, not in front of Davis and Beat Head. 218 00:07:00,527 --> 00:07:01,570 It's Beatz Cop! 219 00:07:01,594 --> 00:07:03,706 And Affidavis! 220 00:07:06,132 --> 00:07:07,176 Out loud. 221 00:07:07,200 --> 00:07:08,244 It's a police matter. 222 00:07:08,268 --> 00:07:09,311 Nuh-uh. 223 00:07:09,335 --> 00:07:10,379 Talksts are confidential 224 00:07:10,403 --> 00:07:11,714 under my terms of service. 225 00:07:11,738 --> 00:07:14,116 And my terms of "get stuffed"! 226 00:07:14,140 --> 00:07:15,451 He has a point. 227 00:07:15,475 --> 00:07:17,319 The only way we can obtain his private messages 228 00:07:17,343 --> 00:07:18,387 is with a warrant. 229 00:07:18,411 --> 00:07:20,813 Whose side are you on? 230 00:07:24,817 --> 00:07:25,595 Hey, Bu! 231 00:07:25,619 --> 00:07:27,196 I have a talkst for you from Tina. 232 00:07:28,821 --> 00:07:31,200 "This isn't working, the magic is gone. 233 00:07:31,224 --> 00:07:32,268 I need some space to..." 234 00:07:32,292 --> 00:07:34,136 Oh, hang on, that's not yours. 235 00:07:34,160 --> 00:07:35,204 Privacy settings! 236 00:07:35,228 --> 00:07:36,539 Erase! Erase! 237 00:07:36,563 --> 00:07:38,407 What is even happening right now? 238 00:07:38,431 --> 00:07:40,809 Here's the actual message from Tina. 239 00:07:40,833 --> 00:07:42,144 "Hey." 240 00:07:42,168 --> 00:07:44,280 Wanna say anything back to her? 241 00:07:44,304 --> 00:07:45,614 I'll send her a selfie. 242 00:07:45,638 --> 00:07:48,284 Oh, wait, I can't, 'cause the world is broken. 243 00:07:48,308 --> 00:07:49,885 Uh, hold on a sec. 244 00:07:51,244 --> 00:07:53,355 Take a selfie with this. 245 00:07:53,379 --> 00:07:54,957 It's a Polaroid. 246 00:07:54,981 --> 00:07:55,759 Point it at you, 247 00:07:55,783 --> 00:07:57,359 and press the giant red button. 248 00:07:57,383 --> 00:07:58,694 There's no screen. 249 00:07:58,718 --> 00:08:01,096 How do I know if I'm being pouty enough? 250 00:08:02,455 --> 00:08:04,567 Ew, it's spitting something at me! 251 00:08:04,591 --> 00:08:06,969 No, that's the picture. See? 252 00:08:06,993 --> 00:08:08,304 Oh... 253 00:08:08,328 --> 00:08:10,973 Okay, now add hashtag: "Onewithnature," 254 00:08:10,997 --> 00:08:12,841 "Newnailpolish," 255 00:08:12,865 --> 00:08:15,778 "Smashthepatriarchy." 256 00:08:15,802 --> 00:08:18,180 All right, done. 257 00:08:18,204 --> 00:08:20,316 Also add the crazy face emoji. 258 00:08:20,340 --> 00:08:22,184 I-I don't know if I can draw that. 259 00:08:22,208 --> 00:08:23,519 No, I mean do it, 260 00:08:23,543 --> 00:08:24,587 with your face. 261 00:08:24,611 --> 00:08:27,256 One eye closed, the other open. 262 00:08:27,280 --> 00:08:28,324 Wider. 263 00:08:28,348 --> 00:08:29,391 Now stick out your tongue. 264 00:08:29,415 --> 00:08:30,459 Head tilt. 265 00:08:30,483 --> 00:08:31,261 There, 266 00:08:31,285 --> 00:08:33,128 and send! 267 00:08:36,623 --> 00:08:38,200 Hey, Brent. 268 00:08:38,224 --> 00:08:39,535 Oh, here we go... 269 00:08:39,559 --> 00:08:41,403 Yeah, here we go. 270 00:08:41,427 --> 00:08:43,806 I have something big planned. 271 00:08:43,830 --> 00:08:45,941 ...and you don't want to go alone. 272 00:08:45,965 --> 00:08:49,144 So I just want to thank you in advance... 273 00:08:49,168 --> 00:08:50,212 For... 274 00:08:50,236 --> 00:08:51,280 For giving Wanda the day off 275 00:08:51,304 --> 00:08:53,682 so she can come with me when I go skydiving. 276 00:08:53,706 --> 00:08:55,818 And you want me to... Wanda? 277 00:08:55,842 --> 00:08:57,686 W-Why would you ask Wanda? 278 00:08:57,710 --> 00:08:59,555 For emotional support. 279 00:08:59,579 --> 00:09:01,690 But... but... but... 280 00:09:01,714 --> 00:09:03,292 Popcorn? 281 00:09:03,316 --> 00:09:04,627 Humble Pie? 282 00:09:04,651 --> 00:09:05,694 Humble crow? 283 00:09:11,758 --> 00:09:13,068 I can't believe 284 00:09:13,092 --> 00:09:15,738 you chose Wanda for emotional support. 285 00:09:15,762 --> 00:09:17,339 Emotional and physical. 286 00:09:17,363 --> 00:09:18,941 I get to shove her out of a plane. 287 00:09:18,965 --> 00:09:20,809 Oh, uh, not necessarily. 288 00:09:20,833 --> 00:09:22,678 No, no, of course. 289 00:09:22,702 --> 00:09:24,013 It's gonna happen. 290 00:09:24,037 --> 00:09:25,347 But why Wanda? 291 00:09:25,371 --> 00:09:27,216 What's she ever done for anybody? 292 00:09:28,574 --> 00:09:29,885 Wanda, could you go get that? 293 00:09:33,913 --> 00:09:34,691 Hey! 294 00:09:34,715 --> 00:09:35,758 What was that for? 295 00:09:35,782 --> 00:09:37,893 One, this isn't self-serve. 296 00:09:37,917 --> 00:09:40,295 Two, I have to practice shoving people. 297 00:09:40,319 --> 00:09:41,319 Why? 298 00:09:41,921 --> 00:09:44,033 Because kiss the dirt, that's why. 299 00:09:44,057 --> 00:09:46,702 But I'm usually the person you come to 300 00:09:46,726 --> 00:09:47,770 for this kind of support. 301 00:09:47,794 --> 00:09:49,638 Yeah, after a lot of whining 302 00:09:49,662 --> 00:09:51,240 about how you don't want to be there. 303 00:09:51,264 --> 00:09:52,841 That's our dynamic! 304 00:09:52,865 --> 00:09:54,710 You come to me with concerns, 305 00:09:54,734 --> 00:09:56,845 and I support-slash-mock you. 306 00:09:56,869 --> 00:09:57,913 Exactly. 307 00:09:57,937 --> 00:09:59,248 So I figured 308 00:09:59,272 --> 00:10:01,650 maybe you don't want to be my shoulder to lean on. 309 00:10:01,674 --> 00:10:04,610 Plus, Wanda seems super excited. 310 00:10:05,678 --> 00:10:06,989 Quit doing that! 311 00:10:07,013 --> 00:10:08,057 It's for science! 312 00:10:11,017 --> 00:10:12,861 We don't need a warrant 313 00:10:12,885 --> 00:10:14,997 to learn what Oscar's private message was. 314 00:10:15,021 --> 00:10:17,933 We just need to use a sneakier weapon. 315 00:10:17,957 --> 00:10:19,535 You wanna pepper-spray Emma? 316 00:10:19,559 --> 00:10:22,204 No, we need to play dumb. 317 00:10:22,228 --> 00:10:23,539 I don't get it. 318 00:10:23,563 --> 00:10:24,606 Yeah, like that. 319 00:10:25,965 --> 00:10:27,276 Good afternoon, Emma. 320 00:10:27,300 --> 00:10:29,144 My partner, Officer Pelly, 321 00:10:29,168 --> 00:10:31,814 and I were trying to ascertain the whereabouts 322 00:10:31,838 --> 00:10:33,148 of a missing rototiller 323 00:10:33,172 --> 00:10:35,284 which absconded from our impound. 324 00:10:35,308 --> 00:10:39,555 You mean my rototiller that you confiscated? 325 00:10:39,579 --> 00:10:40,622 We understand... 326 00:10:40,646 --> 00:10:43,025 I mean, don't understand 327 00:10:43,049 --> 00:10:45,961 that you sent a talkst to Oscar about it. 328 00:10:45,985 --> 00:10:47,029 I did. 329 00:10:47,053 --> 00:10:48,363 I merely told him 330 00:10:48,387 --> 00:10:51,033 that if he did steal back the rototiller from you, 331 00:10:51,057 --> 00:10:52,634 he should return it. 332 00:10:52,658 --> 00:10:54,503 So you're saying Oscar has it? 333 00:10:54,527 --> 00:10:55,305 I don't know, 334 00:10:55,329 --> 00:10:56,905 but Oscar has been sending 335 00:10:56,929 --> 00:10:58,774 a suspicious amount of private talksts 336 00:10:58,798 --> 00:10:59,842 through Hank today. 337 00:10:59,866 --> 00:11:00,909 I see. 338 00:11:00,933 --> 00:11:02,535 Thank you for your time. 339 00:11:03,336 --> 00:11:05,981 We need to hack into Hank's messaging system. 340 00:11:06,005 --> 00:11:07,850 It's just a notepad in his pants. 341 00:11:07,874 --> 00:11:10,519 We need to hack into Hank's pants. 342 00:11:11,611 --> 00:11:13,722 How did this roasting pan get so grimy? 343 00:11:13,746 --> 00:11:15,057 I'm never going to get this clean. 344 00:11:15,081 --> 00:11:16,125 Come on, now. 345 00:11:16,149 --> 00:11:17,993 Let's give that attitude a makeover. 346 00:11:18,017 --> 00:11:19,328 Excuse me? 347 00:11:19,352 --> 00:11:22,264 The Lacey I know will have that pan spick and span, 348 00:11:22,288 --> 00:11:25,200 and I'll be by your side till it's washed and dried. 349 00:11:25,224 --> 00:11:26,268 Okay... 350 00:11:26,292 --> 00:11:27,870 I see what you're doing, 351 00:11:27,894 --> 00:11:30,272 but I told you, Wanda's coming with me. 352 00:11:30,296 --> 00:11:31,074 If Wanda was here, 353 00:11:31,098 --> 00:11:33,742 she'd slap that pan right out of your hand. 354 00:11:33,766 --> 00:11:35,077 Why are you rhyming? 355 00:11:35,101 --> 00:11:36,678 Is this 'cause we all have rap names? 356 00:11:36,702 --> 00:11:41,483 If I had a rap name, it'd be DJ Here-4-U. 357 00:11:42,842 --> 00:11:44,419 That's pretty impressive, Hank, 358 00:11:44,443 --> 00:11:46,288 but can you touch your toes? 359 00:11:46,312 --> 00:11:47,356 Statistically, 360 00:11:47,380 --> 00:11:48,957 the average white, middle-class male 361 00:11:48,981 --> 00:11:50,025 born on the prairies 362 00:11:50,049 --> 00:11:51,093 who wear their ball cap backwards 363 00:11:51,117 --> 00:11:52,161 can't do it. 364 00:11:52,185 --> 00:11:53,228 Yeah? 365 00:11:53,252 --> 00:11:54,563 Well, I'm not your average 366 00:11:54,587 --> 00:11:58,033 white, middle-born male class prairie ball... uh, capper. 367 00:11:58,057 --> 00:12:00,435 Watch this. 368 00:12:00,459 --> 00:12:01,770 Ha! Look at that! 369 00:12:01,794 --> 00:12:03,105 No probl... 370 00:12:03,129 --> 00:12:04,173 Hey, now! 371 00:12:04,197 --> 00:12:06,041 Geez, Karen... I mean, Beatz Cop. 372 00:12:06,065 --> 00:12:07,910 More like "Beatz-cop-a-feel." 373 00:12:07,934 --> 00:12:10,846 If you want to get fresh, don't be shy. 374 00:12:10,870 --> 00:12:12,181 I can play ball. 375 00:12:12,205 --> 00:12:13,248 Great. 376 00:12:13,272 --> 00:12:15,117 I'm gonna go boil my hand. 377 00:12:15,141 --> 00:12:17,519 Hey, do you want to see me juggle? 378 00:12:17,543 --> 00:12:18,587 Do I? 379 00:12:18,611 --> 00:12:20,722 Okay, I have this rock, 380 00:12:20,746 --> 00:12:21,790 and this gun. 381 00:12:21,814 --> 00:12:23,926 I just need one more thing. 382 00:12:23,950 --> 00:12:26,061 Do you have a ball, or a bowling pin, 383 00:12:26,085 --> 00:12:27,663 or maybe a notepad? 384 00:12:27,687 --> 00:12:31,667 You're in luck! 385 00:12:31,691 --> 00:12:33,802 Whoa, that is so cool! 386 00:12:33,826 --> 00:12:36,495 Now let's light it all on fire! 387 00:12:37,296 --> 00:12:39,141 No, no, that's enough for now. 388 00:12:39,165 --> 00:12:42,611 Affidavis has to go back to work. 389 00:12:43,703 --> 00:12:45,814 Have you ever seen a more amazing display 390 00:12:45,838 --> 00:12:47,416 of sleight of hand? 391 00:12:47,440 --> 00:12:48,750 Ta-da! 392 00:12:48,774 --> 00:12:51,420 Aw, I screwed it up. 393 00:12:51,444 --> 00:12:53,021 Hank still has his notebook. 394 00:12:53,045 --> 00:12:55,157 Yeah, and your gun. 395 00:12:55,181 --> 00:12:56,249 My turn. 396 00:12:58,118 --> 00:13:00,762 Hey! Why'd you do that? 397 00:13:00,786 --> 00:13:02,097 It's for science. 398 00:13:02,121 --> 00:13:03,990 Oh, then happy to help. 399 00:13:06,659 --> 00:13:07,703 Thanks, Wanda. 400 00:13:07,727 --> 00:13:08,503 Oof! 401 00:13:08,527 --> 00:13:09,305 Hey! 402 00:13:09,329 --> 00:13:11,974 Sorry, need to practice. 403 00:13:14,667 --> 00:13:15,445 Wow... 404 00:13:15,469 --> 00:13:18,380 This roaster has never been this clean. 405 00:13:18,404 --> 00:13:20,515 Brent really is good at motivating. 406 00:13:20,539 --> 00:13:21,317 Pffft. 407 00:13:21,341 --> 00:13:22,918 Is there anything sadder 408 00:13:22,942 --> 00:13:24,253 than a woman giving credit to a man 409 00:13:24,277 --> 00:13:26,655 for how clean she got her own pan? 410 00:13:26,679 --> 00:13:29,324 You, on the other hand, not so uplifting. 411 00:13:29,348 --> 00:13:31,484 I'm here for the pushing, not the lifting. 412 00:13:32,285 --> 00:13:33,062 Whoopsie! 413 00:13:33,086 --> 00:13:34,129 Hey! 414 00:13:35,488 --> 00:13:37,866 I may have to rethink this. 415 00:13:37,890 --> 00:13:41,069 So your talkst to Ravi is... 416 00:13:41,093 --> 00:13:42,938 "Keep your dog off my lawn, 417 00:13:42,962 --> 00:13:44,806 "poop emoji, red X, 418 00:13:44,830 --> 00:13:46,141 knife emoji, 419 00:13:46,165 --> 00:13:48,010 skull and crossbones emoji." 420 00:13:48,034 --> 00:13:49,344 Correct. 421 00:13:49,368 --> 00:13:51,213 That's pretty dark, Mavis. 422 00:13:51,237 --> 00:13:53,348 Can I at least add a cowboy emoji 423 00:13:53,372 --> 00:13:54,950 to lighten the mood? 424 00:13:54,974 --> 00:13:56,818 You can add a clown. 425 00:13:56,842 --> 00:13:58,954 They're still kinda scary, 426 00:13:58,978 --> 00:14:02,157 but okay, let me write this, um... 427 00:14:02,181 --> 00:14:06,428 Oh, no... my notepad's gone! 428 00:14:06,452 --> 00:14:09,631 There's been a data breach in my britches! 429 00:14:09,655 --> 00:14:12,034 Someone's going to read all the messages! 430 00:14:12,058 --> 00:14:14,703 I can't read any of these messages. 431 00:14:14,727 --> 00:14:16,305 They're encrypted! 432 00:14:16,329 --> 00:14:19,241 Wait, no, that's just his bad handwriting. 433 00:14:22,468 --> 00:14:25,113 What's Chili Cheese Face doing here? 434 00:14:25,137 --> 00:14:26,448 You changed my rap name? 435 00:14:26,472 --> 00:14:28,583 I invited Brent for support. 436 00:14:29,409 --> 00:14:31,787 After all the research I did... 437 00:14:31,811 --> 00:14:34,456 and the blood, and sweat, and tears 438 00:14:34,480 --> 00:14:37,392 of everyone I pushed to the ground? 439 00:14:37,416 --> 00:14:39,795 He's just my emotional support. 440 00:14:39,819 --> 00:14:42,731 You still get to push me out of the plane. 441 00:14:42,755 --> 00:14:43,533 Oh. 442 00:14:43,557 --> 00:14:44,866 I'm just here to make sure 443 00:14:44,890 --> 00:14:46,201 Lacey gets on the plane, 444 00:14:46,225 --> 00:14:47,803 and then my job is done. 445 00:14:47,827 --> 00:14:48,870 Uh, no. 446 00:14:48,894 --> 00:14:50,205 You're coming up with me. 447 00:14:50,229 --> 00:14:52,341 Hold on, what? 448 00:14:52,365 --> 00:14:53,942 That's not safe. 449 00:14:53,966 --> 00:14:56,078 Hey, where's my emotional support? 450 00:14:56,102 --> 00:14:57,679 I'm trying, but let's be honest, 451 00:14:57,703 --> 00:14:59,014 that's a shoddy plane. 452 00:14:59,038 --> 00:15:00,106 That's just the name. 453 00:15:01,173 --> 00:15:03,018 The owner's name is Frank Shoddy. 454 00:15:03,042 --> 00:15:05,153 Yeah, and he's a notorious drunk. 455 00:15:05,177 --> 00:15:07,022 Wanda, push Brent on the plane. 456 00:15:08,114 --> 00:15:09,958 Oof! 457 00:15:10,784 --> 00:15:12,361 I can see why people don't like this. 458 00:15:12,385 --> 00:15:13,695 Listen, buddy, 459 00:15:13,719 --> 00:15:16,365 you made such a big deal about this earlier, 460 00:15:16,389 --> 00:15:18,233 you're getting on that plane with me. 461 00:15:19,325 --> 00:15:21,141 There better be snacks in here. 462 00:15:26,188 --> 00:15:27,765 What is that grinding sound? 463 00:15:27,789 --> 00:15:29,901 Are those loose bolts on the floor? 464 00:15:29,925 --> 00:15:31,502 Is that duct tape? 465 00:15:31,526 --> 00:15:32,304 Stop! 466 00:15:32,328 --> 00:15:33,371 All you're doing 467 00:15:33,395 --> 00:15:34,972 is making me more terrified! 468 00:15:34,996 --> 00:15:37,375 Hey, at least you get to jump out of this plane. 469 00:15:37,399 --> 00:15:38,599 We have to try and land in it. 470 00:15:39,267 --> 00:15:40,045 Was that a whiskey bottle? 471 00:15:40,069 --> 00:15:41,112 See? 472 00:15:41,136 --> 00:15:42,714 Can we just get to the part 473 00:15:42,738 --> 00:15:44,849 where I push somebody out? 474 00:15:45,675 --> 00:15:49,120 I can't read any of this handwriting. 475 00:15:49,144 --> 00:15:51,255 Look here, "Get tiger repellent"? 476 00:15:51,279 --> 00:15:53,124 That can't be right. 477 00:15:53,148 --> 00:15:54,726 There must be other clues. 478 00:15:54,750 --> 00:15:58,196 What are all these Polaroids with paperclips? 479 00:15:58,220 --> 00:15:59,263 Paperclips? 480 00:15:59,287 --> 00:16:01,399 Those must be attachments. 481 00:16:01,423 --> 00:16:03,534 This is a nice picture of Bu. 482 00:16:03,558 --> 00:16:05,937 "TheCameraLovesHer." 483 00:16:05,961 --> 00:16:07,805 Hold on a mo. 484 00:16:07,829 --> 00:16:09,941 Look at this. 485 00:16:09,965 --> 00:16:12,343 "Busted." 486 00:16:12,367 --> 00:16:15,813 Maybe you want to explain this. 487 00:16:15,837 --> 00:16:18,216 That's a lovely picture of Bu. 488 00:16:18,240 --> 00:16:19,841 Look at the background. 489 00:16:21,176 --> 00:16:23,287 That doesn't prove anything. 490 00:16:23,311 --> 00:16:25,957 It proves you took the rototiller. 491 00:16:25,981 --> 00:16:29,694 Yeah, you can prove anything with... proof. 492 00:16:29,718 --> 00:16:31,562 But why send Oscar the talkst 493 00:16:31,586 --> 00:16:32,630 telling him to return it, 494 00:16:32,654 --> 00:16:34,499 when you're the one who took it? 495 00:16:34,523 --> 00:16:36,100 Isn't it obvious? 496 00:16:36,124 --> 00:16:37,702 Yeah, to me, 497 00:16:37,726 --> 00:16:39,303 but explain it for Karen. 498 00:16:39,327 --> 00:16:42,507 I knew if I made you suspicious of Oscar, 499 00:16:42,531 --> 00:16:45,176 you'd spend all day following him around, 500 00:16:45,200 --> 00:16:46,511 buying me enough time 501 00:16:46,535 --> 00:16:48,379 to plant the potatoes in the boulevard. 502 00:16:48,403 --> 00:16:49,447 Now they're in, 503 00:16:49,471 --> 00:16:51,849 there's nothing you can do about it. 504 00:16:51,873 --> 00:16:52,651 Oh, yeah? 505 00:16:52,675 --> 00:16:55,319 How will Oscar take it when we tell him 506 00:16:55,343 --> 00:16:57,455 you set him up to be the patsy? 507 00:16:57,479 --> 00:16:58,257 Ha! 508 00:16:58,281 --> 00:16:59,857 I've been in on it since the get-go, 509 00:16:59,881 --> 00:17:02,527 and now all the boulevard potatoes are planted, 510 00:17:02,551 --> 00:17:04,929 and there's nothing you can do about it. 511 00:17:04,953 --> 00:17:06,264 I said that already. 512 00:17:06,288 --> 00:17:09,200 Oh, sorry, I was behind a wall. 513 00:17:09,224 --> 00:17:10,802 Actually, there is something 514 00:17:10,826 --> 00:17:11,869 we can do about it... 515 00:17:11,893 --> 00:17:14,539 charge you both with theft and mischief 516 00:17:14,563 --> 00:17:16,407 based on the confession you just gave. 517 00:17:16,431 --> 00:17:18,276 She made me do it! 518 00:17:19,634 --> 00:17:22,280 Attention, citizens of Dog River! 519 00:17:22,304 --> 00:17:24,148 Have you ever heard the phrase, 520 00:17:24,172 --> 00:17:25,483 "Don't shoot the messenger"? 521 00:17:25,507 --> 00:17:28,419 I hope you'll all take that literally, because... 522 00:17:28,443 --> 00:17:32,714 my notepad has been compromised. 523 00:17:34,850 --> 00:17:37,762 My notepad with all your private messages? 524 00:17:37,786 --> 00:17:39,363 I lost it. 525 00:17:39,387 --> 00:17:40,698 Some greasy weirdo 526 00:17:40,722 --> 00:17:43,901 could be fingering through your thoughts right now. 527 00:17:43,925 --> 00:17:45,503 You all seem to be taking this very well. 528 00:17:45,527 --> 00:17:47,104 Sorry, what? 529 00:17:47,128 --> 00:17:48,439 I wasn't paying attention. 530 00:17:48,463 --> 00:17:49,241 The network's back up. 531 00:17:49,265 --> 00:17:50,575 It is? 532 00:17:50,599 --> 00:17:52,176 How did I get de-looped? 533 00:17:52,200 --> 00:17:55,379 Aw, this is the belt situation all over again. 534 00:17:56,738 --> 00:17:59,116 Justice has been served. 535 00:17:59,140 --> 00:18:00,140 Once again proving 536 00:18:00,208 --> 00:18:03,387 that no one in Dog River is above the law. 537 00:18:03,411 --> 00:18:04,989 I need you to drop all the charges 538 00:18:05,013 --> 00:18:06,324 against Oscar and Emma. 539 00:18:06,348 --> 00:18:08,459 What? Why? 540 00:18:08,483 --> 00:18:09,527 I'll also need you 541 00:18:09,551 --> 00:18:11,128 not to ask any questions. 542 00:18:11,152 --> 00:18:12,196 What? 543 00:18:12,220 --> 00:18:12,998 Why? 544 00:18:13,022 --> 00:18:14,332 But we got a confession! 545 00:18:14,356 --> 00:18:16,734 And I commend you both on your hard work, 546 00:18:16,758 --> 00:18:18,603 but this is above your pay grade. 547 00:18:18,627 --> 00:18:20,738 There you go, Fitzy. 548 00:18:20,762 --> 00:18:24,208 One bag of last year's boulevard potatoes. 549 00:18:25,300 --> 00:18:27,411 Mmm, taboo taters. 550 00:18:27,435 --> 00:18:29,280 Forbid-elicious. 551 00:18:32,240 --> 00:18:34,085 Attention, little lady! 552 00:18:34,109 --> 00:18:35,152 We're at altitude! 553 00:18:35,176 --> 00:18:35,954 I assume. 554 00:18:35,978 --> 00:18:38,356 I see clouds, so we must be close. 555 00:18:38,380 --> 00:18:40,224 You have 30 seconds... 556 00:18:40,248 --> 00:18:41,559 Whoa! Was that a goose? 557 00:18:41,583 --> 00:18:43,160 I hate those things! 558 00:18:43,184 --> 00:18:44,252 Hurry up! 559 00:18:46,121 --> 00:18:46,632 Whoa! 560 00:18:46,656 --> 00:18:48,232 You open the whole door? 561 00:18:48,256 --> 00:18:50,368 Isn't there like a laundry chute? 562 00:18:50,392 --> 00:18:52,236 Something I can't fit through? 563 00:18:52,260 --> 00:18:54,372 I can't do this! 564 00:18:54,396 --> 00:18:55,706 Yes, you can, 565 00:18:55,730 --> 00:18:57,308 and I will support you 566 00:18:57,332 --> 00:18:58,910 by putting on this parachute. 567 00:18:58,934 --> 00:19:02,647 And now, the moment I've been training for! 568 00:19:02,671 --> 00:19:05,583 Lacey, go over to that open door, 569 00:19:05,607 --> 00:19:08,519 close your eyes, and go limp! 570 00:19:10,145 --> 00:19:12,256 You can do this! 571 00:19:12,280 --> 00:19:13,858 Listen to my voice. 572 00:19:13,882 --> 00:19:16,260 I'll go close the door so we can hear better. 573 00:19:16,284 --> 00:19:17,595 10,000 feet 574 00:19:17,619 --> 00:19:19,997 is no time to start a conversation. 575 00:19:20,021 --> 00:19:21,332 10,000 feet? 576 00:19:21,356 --> 00:19:22,934 That's too many feet! 577 00:19:22,958 --> 00:19:24,268 10,000? 578 00:19:24,292 --> 00:19:26,671 That's a personal best! 579 00:19:26,695 --> 00:19:29,073 Now who's a disappointment, Dad? 580 00:19:29,097 --> 00:19:30,675 I gave my word! 581 00:19:30,699 --> 00:19:33,344 So I'm gonna push you out of this plane, 582 00:19:33,368 --> 00:19:35,479 if it's the last thing you do. 583 00:19:35,503 --> 00:19:38,416 If I go, your throat's coming with me! 584 00:19:42,979 --> 00:19:45,890 Oh! Oh, my god! 585 00:19:45,914 --> 00:19:48,826 Brent's... dead. 586 00:19:48,850 --> 00:19:52,029 No, didn't he put on a parachute? 587 00:19:52,053 --> 00:19:53,364 Oh! Oh, right! 588 00:19:53,388 --> 00:19:54,166 Right! Whew! 589 00:19:54,190 --> 00:19:58,169 Oh, no, did he just put on my backpack? 590 00:20:00,328 --> 00:20:01,106 Nope. 591 00:20:01,130 --> 00:20:02,173 It was a parachute. 592 00:20:06,781 --> 00:20:07,825 Way to go, Brent! 593 00:20:07,849 --> 00:20:10,227 You ruined the best day of my life. 594 00:20:10,251 --> 00:20:11,029 Really? 595 00:20:11,053 --> 00:20:13,163 There's no, "Are you okay? 596 00:20:13,187 --> 00:20:16,366 How was plunging to the Earth without any training?" 597 00:20:16,390 --> 00:20:17,968 That's why I'm mad. 598 00:20:17,992 --> 00:20:20,904 That was my dream, not yours. 599 00:20:20,928 --> 00:20:22,506 It was actually pretty thrilling. 600 00:20:22,530 --> 00:20:23,574 You should try it sometime. 601 00:20:23,598 --> 00:20:25,442 I was trying to try it! 602 00:20:25,466 --> 00:20:26,777 And you stole my dream 603 00:20:26,801 --> 00:20:28,645 of pushing someone out of a plane! 604 00:20:28,669 --> 00:20:30,247 You pushed me out of a plane! 605 00:20:30,271 --> 00:20:31,582 You got bumped out, 606 00:20:31,606 --> 00:20:32,649 accidentally. 607 00:20:32,673 --> 00:20:35,319 I get no satisfaction from that. 608 00:20:37,745 --> 00:20:39,590 Hey, you're alive! 609 00:20:39,614 --> 00:20:41,725 Made it down, safe and sound. 610 00:20:41,749 --> 00:20:43,594 Just like the website promises. 611 00:20:43,618 --> 00:20:45,195 Feel like, uh, signing my guestbook 612 00:20:45,219 --> 00:20:47,331 and a couple of waivers? 613 00:20:47,355 --> 00:20:48,422 Standard stuff. 614 00:20:50,825 --> 00:20:53,494 We can do this later. 615 00:20:54,829 --> 00:20:58,008 Is it too much to ask for someone to cut me down? 616 00:20:59,901 --> 00:21:01,745 Was that a tiger? 617 00:21:06,040 --> 00:21:07,351 ♪ I don't know 618 00:21:07,375 --> 00:21:09,243 ♪ The same things you don't know ♪ 619 00:21:13,514 --> 00:21:15,626 ♪ I don't know 620 00:21:15,650 --> 00:21:18,052 ♪ I just... don't know 621 00:21:20,721 --> 00:21:22,833 ♪ Ooh... 622 00:21:22,857 --> 00:21:24,434 ♪ It's a great big place 623 00:21:24,458 --> 00:21:26,570 ♪ Ooh... 624 00:21:26,594 --> 00:21:28,438 ♪ Full of nothin' but space 625 00:21:28,462 --> 00:21:30,040 ♪ Ooh... 626 00:21:30,064 --> 00:21:32,176 ♪ And it's my happy place 627 00:21:32,200 --> 00:21:34,869 ♪ I don't know ♪ 628 00:21:34,893 --> 00:21:36,893 oakislandtk<<<<< www.opensubtitles.org 43425

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