subtitlecat.com

All language subtitles for Corner.Gas.Animated.S02E06.Oedipus.Hex.1080p.AMZN.WEB-DL.DDP5.1.H.264-NTG-ing

Afrikaans

Akan

Albanian

Amharic

Arabic

Armenian

Azerbaijani

Basque

Belarusian

Bemba

Bengali

Bihari

Bosnian

Breton

Bulgarian

Cambodian

Catalan

Cebuano

Cherokee

Chichewa

Chinese (Simplified)

Chinese (Traditional)

Corsican

Croatian

Czech

Danish

Dutch

English

Esperanto

Estonian

Ewe

Faroese

Filipino

Finnish

French

Frisian

Galician

Georgian

German

Greek

Guarani

Gujarati

Haitian Creole

Hausa

Hawaiian

Hebrew

Hindi

Hmong

Hungarian

Icelandic

Igbo

Indonesian

Interlingua

Irish

Italian

Japanese

Javanese

Kannada

Kazakh

Kinyarwanda

Kirundi

Kongo

Korean

Krio (Sierra Leone)

Kurdish

Kurdish (Soranî)

Kyrgyz

Laothian

Latin

Latvian

Lingala

Lithuanian

Lozi

Luganda

Luo

Luxembourgish

Macedonian

Malagasy

Malay

Malayalam

Maltese

Maori

Marathi

Mauritian Creole

Moldavian

Mongolian

Myanmar (Burmese)

Montenegrin

Nepali

Nigerian Pidgin

Northern Sotho

Norwegian

Norwegian (Nynorsk)

Occitan

Oriya

Oromo

Pashto

Persian

Polish

Portuguese (Brazil)

Portuguese (Portugal)

Punjabi

Quechua

Romanian

Romansh

Runyakitara

Russian

Samoan

Scots Gaelic

Serbian

Serbo-Croatian

Sesotho

Setswana

Seychellois Creole

Shona

Sindhi

Sinhalese

Slovak

Slovenian

Somali

Spanish Download

Spanish (Latin American)

Sundanese

Swahili

Swedish

Tajik

Tamil

Tatar

Telugu

Thai

Tigrinya

Tonga

Tshiluba

Tumbuka

Turkish

Turkmen

Twi

Uighur

Ukrainian

Urdu

Uzbek

Vietnamese

Welsh

Wolof

Xhosa

Yiddish

Yoruba

Zulu

Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:01,327 --> 00:00:04,227 sync & correction by f1nc0 ~ Addic7ed.com ~ 2 00:00:06,563 --> 00:00:07,898 Ten dollars! 3 00:00:07,899 --> 00:00:10,166 Do I hear ten dollars for Phil? 4 00:00:11,935 --> 00:00:14,403 Come on, people, it's a bachelor auction. 5 00:00:14,405 --> 00:00:17,573 Let's go! A ten-spot for Phil. 6 00:00:17,575 --> 00:00:20,276 Phil your boots with Phil the Thrill. 7 00:00:20,278 --> 00:00:22,278 Look at him Phil those pants! 8 00:00:23,914 --> 00:00:25,982 Come on, I'm running out of Phil puns. 9 00:00:25,984 --> 00:00:27,818 Fine. Ten dollars. 10 00:00:27,819 --> 00:00:31,554 Finally! Sold to Karen Pelly for ten bucks. 11 00:00:31,556 --> 00:00:35,158 - You sweet on Phil, Karen? - No. This was the fastest way 12 00:00:35,159 --> 00:00:37,995 to get him back behind the bar to Phil my glass. 13 00:00:37,996 --> 00:00:40,097 Hey! I thought of another Phil pun! 14 00:00:40,098 --> 00:00:43,293 Moving on. Are you ready for your next 15 00:00:43,294 --> 00:00:44,800 hunk of man meat, ladies? 16 00:00:46,738 --> 00:00:49,139 You're up, Brent. Look sharp. 17 00:00:49,140 --> 00:00:51,374 I feel like I'm wearing neck Spanx. 18 00:00:51,376 --> 00:00:54,443 Come on... I need this fundraiser to raise some funds, 19 00:00:54,445 --> 00:00:56,512 so get out there and shake your money-maker. 20 00:00:56,514 --> 00:00:59,181 I'm not sure my maker was made to make money, 21 00:00:59,183 --> 00:01:00,651 but I'll give it a twirl. 22 00:01:00,652 --> 00:01:02,953 I'd prefer a shake, or a twerk. 23 00:01:02,954 --> 00:01:05,955 Good luck, but so far I've brought in the most money. 24 00:01:05,957 --> 00:01:08,658 Women love a man in uniform. 25 00:01:08,660 --> 00:01:10,326 It's because the shirt and pants match. 26 00:01:10,328 --> 00:01:13,029 The next bachelor in our auction 27 00:01:13,031 --> 00:01:15,331 to raise money for Ike's burned-down barn 28 00:01:15,333 --> 00:01:17,867 is a real barn-burner himself, 29 00:01:17,869 --> 00:01:20,970 though not actually responsible for Ike's recent tragedy. 30 00:01:20,972 --> 00:01:23,064 Brent Leroy! 31 00:01:26,677 --> 00:01:30,846 - Do something sexy! - I thought I was. 32 00:01:30,848 --> 00:01:32,481 But... okay. 33 00:01:35,853 --> 00:01:38,454 Let's start the bidding at $20. 34 00:01:38,456 --> 00:01:39,589 Do I hear 20? 35 00:01:41,759 --> 00:01:43,359 $500! 36 00:01:43,727 --> 00:01:46,228 - Phone bid. - Sold! 37 00:01:46,229 --> 00:01:49,066 No takebacks, final sale, to the mystery phone woman! 38 00:01:49,067 --> 00:01:50,933 We assume it's a woman. 39 00:01:50,935 --> 00:01:53,470 - Probably a blind one. - Huh. 40 00:01:53,471 --> 00:01:55,414 All this time, I've been sitting on 41 00:01:55,415 --> 00:01:56,305 an actual money maker. 42 00:01:56,307 --> 00:01:59,976 ♪ You think there's not a lot goin' on ♪ 43 00:01:59,978 --> 00:02:02,912 ♪ Look closer, baby you're so wrong ♪ 44 00:02:03,342 --> 00:02:06,295 2x06 - Oedipus Hex 45 00:02:08,685 --> 00:02:10,553 Oh. Is that the money from the auction? 46 00:02:10,555 --> 00:02:13,622 Good, because I need to pay for the lumber for Ike's barn. 47 00:02:13,623 --> 00:02:15,058 I thought you put it on your credit card. 48 00:02:15,059 --> 00:02:17,094 I did. I only put it on the card 49 00:02:17,095 --> 00:02:19,663 to get the travel points. But I need to pay it off right away. 50 00:02:19,664 --> 00:02:22,665 I can't be paying interest on a $5,000 balance. 51 00:02:22,667 --> 00:02:25,935 Oh... So the fact that we only raised $2,000 52 00:02:25,937 --> 00:02:29,906 - is not good news? - What? How did we raise less than half? 53 00:02:29,907 --> 00:02:32,375 You said a bachelor auction would bring in a fortune. 54 00:02:32,377 --> 00:02:35,211 And you said you could get Chris Hemsworth as a bachelor. 55 00:02:35,213 --> 00:02:38,248 I said I could get Chris Hadfield. And I did. 56 00:02:40,385 --> 00:02:41,617 What? 57 00:02:41,618 --> 00:02:45,187 I said, my good looks are out of this world. 58 00:02:45,189 --> 00:02:47,675 At any rate, I seem to have left my wallet 59 00:02:47,676 --> 00:02:49,163 out in my spaceship. 60 00:02:52,196 --> 00:02:55,065 Aw, thanks a lot, Emma. Now I'm in debt. 61 00:02:55,066 --> 00:02:57,300 - I'll pay for his coffee. - I mean the lumber. 62 00:02:57,301 --> 00:02:58,635 Maybe you should have waited 63 00:02:58,636 --> 00:03:00,636 till we knew what kind of money we'd raise 64 00:03:00,638 --> 00:03:03,039 before putting it all on your credit card. 65 00:03:03,041 --> 00:03:06,076 It was double points day! And I was trying to be nice. 66 00:03:06,077 --> 00:03:07,644 I was trying to be nice too! 67 00:03:07,645 --> 00:03:10,112 Well, aren't we both just really nice?! 68 00:03:10,114 --> 00:03:12,461 The nicest! 69 00:03:14,551 --> 00:03:17,254 Hey. Watch where you're pointing that thing. 70 00:03:17,255 --> 00:03:19,355 Based on current interest in this thing, 71 00:03:19,357 --> 00:03:20,924 you owe me 50 bucks. 72 00:03:20,925 --> 00:03:23,926 Brent's love life is none of your damn business, Davis! 73 00:03:23,928 --> 00:03:26,128 Come on, tell us who bid on you. 74 00:03:26,130 --> 00:03:28,098 I dunno yet. I got an invite card, 75 00:03:28,099 --> 00:03:29,266 and I'm meeting my mystery date 76 00:03:29,267 --> 00:03:32,035 - for dinner in the city tonight. - Mystery date! 77 00:03:32,036 --> 00:03:33,669 I wonder who it is... 78 00:03:33,671 --> 00:03:36,406 Oh, Brent, please introduce me, 79 00:03:36,407 --> 00:03:40,142 a sexy international supermodel, to your friend Davis. 80 00:03:40,144 --> 00:03:43,012 I love the way his shirt and pants match. 81 00:03:43,014 --> 00:03:45,181 Hmm... 82 00:03:45,183 --> 00:03:49,185 Oh, Brent, Wanda was right, as usual. 83 00:03:49,187 --> 00:03:51,120 She should get a raise. 84 00:03:51,122 --> 00:03:53,397 Hmm. 85 00:03:53,623 --> 00:03:58,527 Oh, Brent, Karen has such a limited imagination. 86 00:03:59,496 --> 00:04:01,297 Did my own brain just burn me? 87 00:04:01,299 --> 00:04:04,233 This mystery woman might be dangerous. 88 00:04:04,235 --> 00:04:06,602 - Want a police escort? - Nice try. 89 00:04:06,603 --> 00:04:08,138 Besides, don't you have a date tonight? 90 00:04:08,139 --> 00:04:11,407 - Who's a hard 70? - Yup. Heading to Helen's now. 91 00:04:11,409 --> 00:04:13,809 Need to pick her up a few things first. 92 00:04:13,811 --> 00:04:16,745 Eggs, milk, four litres of baby oil... 93 00:04:16,747 --> 00:04:18,581 What the hell kind of cake is she making? 94 00:04:18,583 --> 00:04:20,983 Did Helen just bid on you so you would do her shopping? 95 00:04:20,985 --> 00:04:23,361 - No... - She wants him to make 96 00:04:23,396 --> 00:04:25,955 siren noises when he puts away the groceries. 97 00:04:27,358 --> 00:04:28,558 What were you thinking, Emma? 98 00:04:28,559 --> 00:04:31,827 Women buying men like they're pieces of meat. 99 00:04:31,829 --> 00:04:34,197 It's sexist! How's my sandwich coming? 100 00:04:34,198 --> 00:04:37,234 I just wanted to help Ike get money to rebuild his barn. 101 00:04:37,235 --> 00:04:40,035 I try to do something nice for someone, 102 00:04:40,037 --> 00:04:43,205 - and I get my head ripped off. - Nice is for ninnies. 103 00:04:43,207 --> 00:04:44,584 Would it kill you to do 104 00:04:44,585 --> 00:04:47,210 something nice for me once in a while? 105 00:04:47,211 --> 00:04:49,912 Oh, you'd like it to kill me, wouldn't ya? 106 00:04:49,913 --> 00:04:51,314 Where you going? 107 00:04:51,315 --> 00:04:55,384 I'm going to have a nice time somewhere with someone nice. 108 00:04:56,253 --> 00:04:58,687 Who's going to cut my sandwich? 109 00:04:59,723 --> 00:05:01,438 Hey, Hank. how come you weren't 110 00:05:01,439 --> 00:05:02,959 at the bachelor auction last night? 111 00:05:02,960 --> 00:05:04,094 Yeah, with you in the mix, 112 00:05:04,095 --> 00:05:06,463 we could've raised $2,000 and 40 cents. 113 00:05:06,464 --> 00:05:09,365 Oh, uh, I had my own fundraiser for Ike. 114 00:05:09,367 --> 00:05:12,269 - A silent auction. - I never heard about it. 115 00:05:12,270 --> 00:05:14,436 That's why it's called a silent auction. 116 00:05:14,438 --> 00:05:15,872 How much money did you raise? 117 00:05:15,873 --> 00:05:18,208 - 500 bucks. - Hey, that's great! 118 00:05:18,209 --> 00:05:20,544 Give it to me, and I'll add it to the lumber debt. 119 00:05:20,545 --> 00:05:22,811 No way. This isn't for rebuilding Ike's barn. 120 00:05:22,812 --> 00:05:25,314 It's for paying a witch to lift the curse off him. 121 00:05:25,316 --> 00:05:27,674 Hmm, and here I thought there was nothing 122 00:05:27,675 --> 00:05:29,920 left in this town that could surprise me. 123 00:05:29,921 --> 00:05:31,288 I have a couple questions, 124 00:05:31,289 --> 00:05:34,056 number one, what the hell are you talking about? 125 00:05:34,058 --> 00:05:37,293 Ike's had a run of bad luck that just can't be explained. 126 00:05:37,295 --> 00:05:38,728 He was walking and texting, 127 00:05:38,729 --> 00:05:41,130 and unexplainably tripped on a stump. 128 00:05:41,132 --> 00:05:43,699 He also dropped the can of gasoline he was carrying 129 00:05:43,701 --> 00:05:46,302 into a pile of burning leaves beside the barn. 130 00:05:46,304 --> 00:05:50,506 Shortly after that, the barn mysteriously burned down. 131 00:05:50,508 --> 00:05:52,341 Okay, question number two, 132 00:05:52,343 --> 00:05:54,243 what the hell are you talking about? 133 00:05:54,245 --> 00:05:55,578 He's obviously cursed, 134 00:05:55,579 --> 00:05:59,348 so I need a quality witch to get rid of Ike's juju. 135 00:05:59,350 --> 00:06:01,885 - There are no witches in Dog River. - How do you know? 136 00:06:01,886 --> 00:06:04,351 Because I am one, and no one else comes to the meetings. 137 00:06:04,386 --> 00:06:07,323 Hmm... I mean, you do have stringy hair, 138 00:06:07,325 --> 00:06:08,625 and you are kind of pale. 139 00:06:08,626 --> 00:06:10,460 - What? - It's true, Hank. 140 00:06:10,461 --> 00:06:12,861 Lacey comes from a long line of witches. 141 00:06:12,863 --> 00:06:15,864 You see, dissolve to... 142 00:06:15,866 --> 00:06:18,267 Lacey is a descendant from the Puritan minister 143 00:06:18,269 --> 00:06:19,935 George Burroughs. 144 00:06:19,937 --> 00:06:23,772 He was made famous during the Salem witch trials. 145 00:06:23,774 --> 00:06:26,609 He borrowed some money and never paid it back, 146 00:06:26,611 --> 00:06:28,978 which made the villagers angry. 147 00:06:28,980 --> 00:06:32,348 They accused George of being a priest of the devil, 148 00:06:32,350 --> 00:06:38,120 and he was executed on August 19, 1692. 149 00:06:39,590 --> 00:06:43,092 His family changed the spelling of their last name to... 150 00:06:43,094 --> 00:06:47,263 ...Burrows with a "W". As in Lacey Burrows. 151 00:06:47,265 --> 00:06:49,332 Whoa. Is that true? 152 00:06:49,333 --> 00:06:50,700 She's a sorceress! 153 00:06:50,701 --> 00:06:53,976 How else does she always have ripe avocados? 154 00:06:54,704 --> 00:06:57,039 Is 500 bucks enough to lift the curse? 155 00:06:57,041 --> 00:06:59,508 - Um... - You gotta do this. 156 00:06:59,509 --> 00:07:02,811 It's a better cause than the magical guacamole. 157 00:07:02,813 --> 00:07:04,547 Okay, fine. I'll lift the hex. 158 00:07:04,548 --> 00:07:07,816 - But keep it on the DL. - Great! Meet me at Ike's farm. 159 00:07:07,818 --> 00:07:12,698 I don't need to tell you when. Your witchy ways will know. 160 00:07:13,423 --> 00:07:15,557 This'll help put a dent in the debt. 161 00:07:15,559 --> 00:07:17,326 Thanks for making up that story, Wanda. 162 00:07:17,328 --> 00:07:18,428 It's totally true. 163 00:07:18,429 --> 00:07:22,431 George Burroughs was a real person. Google it. 164 00:07:22,433 --> 00:07:24,500 And you could be a direct descendant. 165 00:07:24,502 --> 00:07:27,637 - Wait, you believe in witches? - Nope. I just like to argue 166 00:07:27,638 --> 00:07:29,505 the impossible side of an issue sometimes. 167 00:07:29,507 --> 00:07:31,841 Like when I told you that travel points credit card 168 00:07:31,842 --> 00:07:34,311 - was a good idea. - Exactly. 169 00:07:34,312 --> 00:07:36,613 Wait, you what? Oh, dammit! 170 00:07:36,614 --> 00:07:38,247 It's going to pay off! 171 00:07:44,688 --> 00:07:47,723 I'll assume she's gluten intolerant. 172 00:07:47,725 --> 00:07:51,360 Mom? What have I told you about coming on my dates? 173 00:07:51,362 --> 00:07:53,730 - It always makes it clunky. - Extra clunky this time. 174 00:07:53,731 --> 00:07:57,133 - I am your mystery date. - What? 175 00:07:57,134 --> 00:08:00,502 So you phoned yourself and bid on your own son? 176 00:08:00,504 --> 00:08:02,038 Are we on Dateline? 177 00:08:02,039 --> 00:08:03,473 I was worried no one would bid on you. 178 00:08:03,474 --> 00:08:05,708 I didn't want your feelings to get hurt, 179 00:08:05,710 --> 00:08:08,378 - so I started the bidding. - Well, you missed a few steps 180 00:08:08,379 --> 00:08:10,546 between 20 and 500 bucks. 181 00:08:10,548 --> 00:08:14,316 - I got caught up in the frenzy. - You were the frenzy. 182 00:08:14,318 --> 00:08:16,385 Well, this is disappointing. 183 00:08:16,387 --> 00:08:18,454 Pretend I'm not your mother. 184 00:08:18,456 --> 00:08:21,957 We're just two nice people having a nice dinner 185 00:08:21,959 --> 00:08:24,561 - being nice. - I don't know. 186 00:08:24,562 --> 00:08:25,929 Seems a little weird. 187 00:08:25,930 --> 00:08:27,964 - I'm buying. - Garcon? 188 00:08:30,700 --> 00:08:34,036 Wow, you really know how to gather a crowd, Glinda. 189 00:08:34,038 --> 00:08:37,406 Hank! Why are all these people here? 190 00:08:37,408 --> 00:08:39,808 I told you to keep it on the DL. 191 00:08:39,810 --> 00:08:42,312 You did, but I don't know what that means. 192 00:08:42,313 --> 00:08:44,546 Well, now I wish I'd worn a costume. 193 00:08:44,548 --> 00:08:45,782 I have something in the car. 194 00:08:47,852 --> 00:08:50,753 You have a wizard hat in your car? 195 00:08:50,755 --> 00:08:53,422 It's just a traffic cone with some star stickers on it. 196 00:08:53,424 --> 00:08:56,792 What am I supposed to do now? I don't know any spells. 197 00:08:56,794 --> 00:08:59,261 Make up gibberish and dance around. 198 00:08:59,263 --> 00:09:01,631 If they believe the hex is gone, it will be. 199 00:09:01,632 --> 00:09:04,454 Power of suggestion. 200 00:09:05,201 --> 00:09:06,902 Hey, there, Ike! 201 00:09:06,904 --> 00:09:09,972 To the spirit that has cursed Ike. 202 00:09:09,974 --> 00:09:11,740 I say to thee... 203 00:09:11,742 --> 00:09:14,710 "Maka-laka-tucka rucka-nucka-bucka-lucka... 204 00:09:14,712 --> 00:09:18,509 tucka-maka-rucka-lucka nucka-bucka-rucka." 205 00:09:19,048 --> 00:09:23,285 - Isn't that the Macarena? - Legally, it's different enough. 206 00:09:23,287 --> 00:09:24,953 Begone! 207 00:09:27,957 --> 00:09:31,794 - Did it work? - Don't feel any different. 208 00:09:31,796 --> 00:09:33,929 Try to trip on a stump again. 209 00:09:35,064 --> 00:09:37,333 I'm not going to trip over a stump if I can see it. 210 00:09:37,334 --> 00:09:40,302 It worked! Lacey is a witch! 211 00:09:41,205 --> 00:09:43,505 I knew it! 212 00:09:43,507 --> 00:09:46,944 Well, this could go one of two ways. 213 00:09:50,984 --> 00:09:53,951 Aw, even with Hank's 500 witch bucks, 214 00:09:53,953 --> 00:09:56,887 I still won't be able to pay off this credit card right away. 215 00:09:56,888 --> 00:09:59,090 So? Carry a balance for a couple of months. 216 00:09:59,092 --> 00:10:01,626 It's not like your card has a 21% interest rate. 217 00:10:01,628 --> 00:10:04,062 - Oh, wait. - This is your fault! 218 00:10:04,063 --> 00:10:06,097 But I will not let the system beat me. 219 00:10:06,099 --> 00:10:07,332 How many points have you earned so far? 220 00:10:07,333 --> 00:10:09,153 I'm a quarter of the way 221 00:10:09,188 --> 00:10:11,036 to a free flight to Branson, Missouri. 222 00:10:11,071 --> 00:10:13,839 Provided I get myself to Detroit, the City of Departure, 223 00:10:13,840 --> 00:10:15,374 and I don't check a bag. 224 00:10:15,375 --> 00:10:17,676 Yup. You really got 'em by the nards. 225 00:10:17,677 --> 00:10:20,444 Hey, Lacey. My cat won't stop meowing. 226 00:10:20,446 --> 00:10:23,715 Oh, how sad. Is that sad? 227 00:10:23,716 --> 00:10:26,484 Yeah, so could you cast a spell and make it stop? 228 00:10:26,486 --> 00:10:28,687 Bu... I don't really think... 229 00:10:28,688 --> 00:10:30,688 That you could afford her services. 230 00:10:30,690 --> 00:10:33,298 How much does it cost? 231 00:10:34,108 --> 00:10:37,329 Ooh, that's steep, but reasonable. 232 00:10:37,330 --> 00:10:39,530 There's nothing reasonable about any of this. 233 00:10:40,565 --> 00:10:42,266 I'll get my wizard cone. 234 00:10:44,537 --> 00:10:47,706 - So, you met the mystery woman? - Yup. 235 00:10:47,707 --> 00:10:49,708 - How was the date? - Very nice. 236 00:10:49,709 --> 00:10:52,376 So... do you love her now? 237 00:10:52,378 --> 00:10:54,913 - I don't not love her. - So you do love her! 238 00:10:54,914 --> 00:10:56,964 You could say I have feelings for her. 239 00:10:56,965 --> 00:10:59,550 - Are you gonna see her again? - Don't know how I can avoid that. 240 00:10:59,552 --> 00:11:01,820 You sound obsessed. You should call her right now. 241 00:11:01,821 --> 00:11:02,721 Nah, I'm good. 242 00:11:03,756 --> 00:11:07,658 Some woman is finally interested in the likes of you? 243 00:11:07,660 --> 00:11:10,728 Call her now before she regains her sanity. 244 00:11:10,730 --> 00:11:12,831 Okay, fine. I'll call her. 245 00:11:12,832 --> 00:11:15,467 Ah. Calling the day after a date seems desperate. 246 00:11:15,468 --> 00:11:17,903 Text her. That says you're interested, 247 00:11:17,904 --> 00:11:19,704 but not enough to hear her voice. 248 00:11:19,706 --> 00:11:22,173 When did you become a dating expert? 249 00:11:22,175 --> 00:11:25,043 Those who can't do, due to lack of options, teach. 250 00:11:26,746 --> 00:11:28,412 Second date confirmed. 251 00:11:29,415 --> 00:11:30,649 Hello? 252 00:11:30,650 --> 00:11:33,984 Oh, okay. Emma cancelled movie night. 253 00:11:33,986 --> 00:11:35,686 She's going to Helen's to play cards. 254 00:11:35,688 --> 00:11:38,845 - Emma may be trying to ghost you. - How did you know 255 00:11:38,880 --> 00:11:40,791 what movie we were going to watch? 256 00:11:42,929 --> 00:11:45,396 I have to find out who Brent's secret lady is. 257 00:11:45,397 --> 00:11:48,165 Why's this such a craw stuck in your... jaw, 258 00:11:48,167 --> 00:11:49,467 or whatever that saying is. 259 00:11:49,468 --> 00:11:51,869 I should've been the one who brought in 500 bucks. 260 00:11:51,871 --> 00:11:53,871 I'm the only rugged, square-jawed, 261 00:11:53,873 --> 00:11:56,908 single man in town. This is fishy. 262 00:11:56,909 --> 00:11:58,909 There's only one thing for me to do. 263 00:11:58,911 --> 00:12:01,479 Go to Helen's and put away her groceries? 264 00:12:01,481 --> 00:12:05,317 There's two things for me to do. Actually, three. 265 00:12:25,405 --> 00:12:26,363 Whoo! Whoo! 266 00:12:33,412 --> 00:12:37,415 Ah! I am only 200 bucks away from paying off this card. 267 00:12:37,417 --> 00:12:40,785 Who knew everyone in town would be so into my witchy ways? 268 00:12:40,787 --> 00:12:41,820 They're scared of you. 269 00:12:44,257 --> 00:12:45,624 Hmm... 270 00:12:45,625 --> 00:12:48,959 Remember, anything less than a 20% tip 271 00:12:48,961 --> 00:12:50,795 angers the spirit world. 272 00:12:50,797 --> 00:12:52,898 - Oh! - Yeah, of course... 273 00:12:52,899 --> 00:12:54,828 I've got something here... 274 00:12:55,100 --> 00:12:57,234 You know, it's really lovely 275 00:12:57,236 --> 00:12:59,870 spending some one-on-one time with you. 276 00:12:59,872 --> 00:13:02,006 I'm glad Dad pressured me into asking you out 277 00:13:02,008 --> 00:13:04,643 on a second date, and I already regret that wording. 278 00:13:04,644 --> 00:13:07,178 Let's keep our little tryst a secret. 279 00:13:07,179 --> 00:13:09,915 - "Tryst" is even worse wording. - How about "rendezvous"? 280 00:13:09,916 --> 00:13:11,316 How about we change the subject? 281 00:13:11,317 --> 00:13:13,617 Can we get some tiramisu? 282 00:13:15,654 --> 00:13:16,955 Where's Emma? 283 00:13:16,956 --> 00:13:19,690 I'm making coffee and can't find the chocolate pudding. 284 00:13:19,692 --> 00:13:22,861 No idea. She's not here. 285 00:13:22,862 --> 00:13:24,329 She said you'd be playing cards. 286 00:13:24,330 --> 00:13:26,330 Wee-oo! Wee-oo! 287 00:13:26,332 --> 00:13:30,000 - Who you got in there? - Go home, Oscar! 288 00:13:30,002 --> 00:13:32,703 But I need pudding for my coffee! 289 00:13:33,606 --> 00:13:38,676 - Wee-oo! Wee-oo! - Sure looks like thirsty work, Davis. 290 00:13:38,678 --> 00:13:40,045 How about you take off your shirt 291 00:13:40,046 --> 00:13:43,248 - and have some lemonade? - No time. 292 00:13:43,249 --> 00:13:45,616 Gotta find a mystery woman. 293 00:13:46,919 --> 00:13:49,520 I'm right here. 294 00:13:55,862 --> 00:13:58,128 Hello, wife of mine. 295 00:13:58,130 --> 00:14:01,899 Why are you sitting in the dark? Is the clapper broken? 296 00:14:01,901 --> 00:14:03,701 No, it's called drama. Ever heard of it? 297 00:14:03,703 --> 00:14:06,705 I want to know where you've been and what you've been doing. 298 00:14:06,706 --> 00:14:09,040 - I was out with Brent. - Hogwater! 299 00:14:09,041 --> 00:14:11,910 I happen to know Brent was on a date with his mystery woman. 300 00:14:11,911 --> 00:14:14,211 I can believe you're this stupid, 301 00:14:14,213 --> 00:14:16,680 but I can't believe you'd call me a liar. 302 00:14:16,682 --> 00:14:19,717 I'm sorry. I, uh, I trust you completely. 303 00:14:19,719 --> 00:14:21,452 Emma's having an affair! 304 00:14:21,454 --> 00:14:23,587 Follow her and find out who it's with. 305 00:14:23,588 --> 00:14:26,090 Seriously, this is not what the police are for. 306 00:14:26,092 --> 00:14:27,892 Mind you, what else am I doing these days? 307 00:14:27,894 --> 00:14:29,227 Any idea who it is? 308 00:14:29,228 --> 00:14:31,930 That's your job, jackass! But I'll tell you what. 309 00:14:31,931 --> 00:14:33,931 He may look like Brad Clooney 310 00:14:33,933 --> 00:14:36,166 and smell like Ricardo Mintybalm, 311 00:14:36,168 --> 00:14:40,543 but he doesn't have the one thing Emma married me for! 312 00:14:41,836 --> 00:14:45,743 My personality! Now, get sleuthing, Nancy Drew! 313 00:14:50,081 --> 00:14:51,916 Back from a delightful second free meal 314 00:14:51,918 --> 00:14:53,351 with my mystery woman. 315 00:14:53,352 --> 00:14:54,653 Hey, how come you're the only one 316 00:14:54,654 --> 00:14:57,222 not chomping at the bit to know who my mystery woman is? 317 00:14:57,223 --> 00:15:00,090 You want me to imagine you in an amorous liaison? 318 00:15:00,092 --> 00:15:03,662 Okay, gross, I just did, and it's "champing at the bit," 319 00:15:03,663 --> 00:15:05,419 not "chomping at the bit... " Oh great, 320 00:15:05,454 --> 00:15:06,931 just imagined you with a bit in your mouth. 321 00:15:06,933 --> 00:15:09,968 Hey, why are you going around telling people Lacey's a witch? 322 00:15:09,969 --> 00:15:11,469 You don't believe in that hocus-pocus. 323 00:15:11,470 --> 00:15:14,189 I was just proving argue on the other side of an issue. 324 00:15:14,224 --> 00:15:17,274 Lacey's not lifting curses. She's using the power of suggestion. 325 00:15:17,276 --> 00:15:19,977 She waves her hands, chants some mumbo-jumbo... 326 00:15:19,979 --> 00:15:22,222 - I thought it was "Hocus pocus." - ... and those suckers 327 00:15:22,223 --> 00:15:26,193 believe it's witchcraft and fork over the cash. 328 00:15:26,685 --> 00:15:28,352 Oh, uh... 329 00:15:28,354 --> 00:15:32,556 you did not hear what I just said... 330 00:15:32,558 --> 00:15:34,960 Uh, yeah. I did. 331 00:15:34,961 --> 00:15:36,794 She's not a witch! 332 00:15:36,796 --> 00:15:39,797 She's not a witch! She's not a witch! 333 00:15:39,799 --> 00:15:42,601 Yes, I am! I am totally a witch! 334 00:15:42,602 --> 00:15:46,978 Yup, this was definitely one of two ways I saw this going. 335 00:15:50,127 --> 00:15:53,229 She's not a witch! She's not a witch! 336 00:15:53,231 --> 00:15:54,464 If I'm not a witch, 337 00:15:54,465 --> 00:15:57,401 how do you explain my black hair and this broom? 338 00:15:57,402 --> 00:16:00,003 Genetics, and Home Depot! 339 00:16:01,739 --> 00:16:04,840 All right, make way for the town's most expensive tush. 340 00:16:04,842 --> 00:16:06,542 Look, why don't you drop the charade 341 00:16:06,544 --> 00:16:08,678 - and come clean? - Can't. 342 00:16:08,679 --> 00:16:10,279 I'm still carrying a balance on my credit card. 343 00:16:10,281 --> 00:16:12,748 I just need to pull a couple more tricks. 344 00:16:12,750 --> 00:16:14,650 You should probably call them "spells." 345 00:16:14,652 --> 00:16:16,520 Back me up again, Wanda. They'll believe you. 346 00:16:16,521 --> 00:16:19,317 Too late. I already argued the other side of the issue, 347 00:16:19,318 --> 00:16:21,737 and based on the level of anger in this mob. 348 00:16:21,772 --> 00:16:25,228 I did a damn fine job. Up top! 349 00:16:25,229 --> 00:16:26,797 We want our money back! 350 00:16:26,798 --> 00:16:29,665 Mon-ey back! Mon-ey back! 351 00:16:29,667 --> 00:16:32,202 Oh, fine! Take it! 352 00:16:32,203 --> 00:16:35,438 This is all your fault. Curse you, Wanda! 353 00:16:35,440 --> 00:16:37,841 - Curse you! - Nope, not a witch. 354 00:16:37,842 --> 00:16:40,476 - Power of suggestion. - I'm confused. 355 00:16:40,477 --> 00:16:42,211 Do you believe in this hinkus-dinkus or not? 356 00:16:42,213 --> 00:16:46,315 Yes, 12 long-stem roses to Corner Gas, 357 00:16:46,317 --> 00:16:50,353 and sign the card, "Love, your Mystery Woman." 358 00:16:50,355 --> 00:16:52,489 - Who are you whispering to? - No one. 359 00:16:52,490 --> 00:16:54,358 Just Mable. I mean Mavis. 360 00:16:54,359 --> 00:16:56,126 Avis! I was renting a car. 361 00:16:56,127 --> 00:16:59,462 - Gotta go. - What's your rush, my sweet? 362 00:16:59,464 --> 00:17:03,987 - I made you a cup of coffee. - That's very nice of you. 363 00:17:04,568 --> 00:17:06,103 Is there pudding in this? 364 00:17:06,104 --> 00:17:08,805 There's also a hot bubble bath waiting for you. 365 00:17:08,806 --> 00:17:12,041 Oh, Oscar. That sounds perfect. 366 00:17:15,012 --> 00:17:16,446 Dog River Flower Shop. 367 00:17:16,447 --> 00:17:18,881 Where can we deliver your love and-or condolences? 368 00:17:18,883 --> 00:17:20,950 Straight to hell, jackass! 369 00:17:20,952 --> 00:17:24,553 Emma sent flowers to some juiced-up Valentino. 370 00:17:24,555 --> 00:17:26,155 Can't you arrest her or something? 371 00:17:26,157 --> 00:17:30,660 Are you serious? Dog River has a flower shop? 372 00:17:30,662 --> 00:17:33,763 Sorry, I can't tell you where your wife sent those flowers. 373 00:17:33,765 --> 00:17:35,965 Can we at least look at the order form? 374 00:17:35,967 --> 00:17:37,833 Is this something you should really be spending 375 00:17:37,835 --> 00:17:40,237 - your police hours on? - Not at all. 376 00:17:40,238 --> 00:17:41,838 Hand over the form. 377 00:17:42,372 --> 00:17:46,042 "Tryst or rendezvous, I'll always have you. 378 00:17:46,044 --> 00:17:48,044 Love, your mystery woman." 379 00:17:48,046 --> 00:17:50,146 Is that some kind of French limerick? 380 00:17:50,148 --> 00:17:52,548 Karen! What are you doing here? 381 00:17:52,550 --> 00:17:54,250 Oscar thinks Emma's having an affair. 382 00:17:54,252 --> 00:17:56,552 Wants to know who she sent flowers to. 383 00:17:56,554 --> 00:17:59,689 Someone just sent Brent flowers, and I need to find out who. 384 00:17:59,691 --> 00:18:02,692 Everybody's getting flowers. This dump must make a killing. 385 00:18:02,694 --> 00:18:03,860 Let me get this straight. 386 00:18:03,861 --> 00:18:06,429 You want to know who Emma sent flowers to, 387 00:18:06,431 --> 00:18:09,498 and you want to know who Brent got flowers from? 388 00:18:09,500 --> 00:18:12,935 Enough with your riddles. Just give us the information, 389 00:18:12,937 --> 00:18:16,272 and how did I not know Dog River had a flower shop, 390 00:18:16,274 --> 00:18:19,375 because these snapdragons look hella fresh. 391 00:18:21,813 --> 00:18:23,113 We're having a sale on pitchforks 392 00:18:23,114 --> 00:18:26,148 - if you want to join the angry mob. - Nah, I'm good. 393 00:18:26,149 --> 00:18:27,718 I'm here to see how it's going now that you're cursed. 394 00:18:27,719 --> 00:18:31,320 Come on... Lacey has no powers. 395 00:18:31,322 --> 00:18:32,823 Ow! My soda! 396 00:18:32,824 --> 00:18:36,392 Ah! My crossword! Oh! My pencil! 397 00:18:36,394 --> 00:18:37,894 Ah! My head! 398 00:18:37,895 --> 00:18:41,652 Yeah, you're not cursed at all. 399 00:18:42,499 --> 00:18:45,768 Easy now, Davis. Keep your distance. 400 00:18:45,770 --> 00:18:47,304 Don't let him see you. 401 00:18:51,908 --> 00:18:52,909 What are you doing here? 402 00:18:52,910 --> 00:18:55,812 - I was following Brent. - I was following Emma. 403 00:18:55,813 --> 00:18:56,947 Looks like they're both heading to the city 404 00:18:56,948 --> 00:19:01,383 - for their dates. - I get it. Carpooling. 405 00:19:01,385 --> 00:19:04,420 Good for the environment. Guess I'll see you there. 406 00:19:04,422 --> 00:19:06,923 - Or... we could carpool too. - Sheesh... 407 00:19:06,924 --> 00:19:09,258 Monkey see, monkey do. 408 00:19:10,761 --> 00:19:12,795 I will not let the system beat me. 409 00:19:12,797 --> 00:19:14,930 If I make minimum payments every month, 410 00:19:14,932 --> 00:19:18,122 the balance will be paid off in... 411 00:19:18,368 --> 00:19:20,536 Well, I'm sure apes will be ruling the world by then, 412 00:19:20,538 --> 00:19:21,772 and none of this will matter. 413 00:19:21,773 --> 00:19:24,740 Ow, ow, ow, ow, ow! It stings! It stings! 414 00:19:25,777 --> 00:19:28,111 - What happened to you? - Suffice to say, 415 00:19:28,112 --> 00:19:30,079 I've had a wee string of unfortunate events 416 00:19:30,081 --> 00:19:33,382 in a short span of time that are merely a coincidence. 417 00:19:33,384 --> 00:19:36,152 But, um... since you asked, 418 00:19:36,154 --> 00:19:37,487 how's about you lift that hex? 419 00:19:37,488 --> 00:19:40,156 Hmm, thought you didn't believe in curses. 420 00:19:40,158 --> 00:19:42,792 I don't. I believe in the power of suggestion, 421 00:19:42,794 --> 00:19:45,127 and I suggest you remove this suggestion. 422 00:19:45,129 --> 00:19:48,531 Oh, sure, I can do that... 423 00:19:49,800 --> 00:19:52,803 - For a fee. - Oof! Mama... 424 00:19:52,804 --> 00:19:54,804 Do you take monthly installments? 425 00:19:54,806 --> 00:19:57,641 This is the last one of these whachamacallits we can do. 426 00:19:57,642 --> 00:20:00,143 Agreed. "Whachamacallits"? 427 00:20:00,144 --> 00:20:01,510 That's what you want to call this? 428 00:20:01,511 --> 00:20:03,946 It's the only word that doesn't make me dry heave. 429 00:20:03,948 --> 00:20:04,881 No offense. 430 00:20:04,882 --> 00:20:06,249 I don't get it. 431 00:20:06,250 --> 00:20:09,585 Why are Brent and Emma in this restaurant together? 432 00:20:09,587 --> 00:20:11,821 I see what's going on here. 433 00:20:11,823 --> 00:20:15,791 Brent's going to introduce his mother to his mystery woman. 434 00:20:15,793 --> 00:20:17,493 Must be getting serious. 435 00:20:17,495 --> 00:20:19,595 And somehow you are the one with seniority. 436 00:20:19,597 --> 00:20:21,998 Get in the car. I'll explain it on the way home. 437 00:20:21,999 --> 00:20:24,534 Okay, then drop me at Helen's. 438 00:20:27,279 --> 00:20:30,181 We had the entire force on this non-case, 439 00:20:30,183 --> 00:20:32,049 and the results are in, 440 00:20:32,051 --> 00:20:36,654 and it is now clear that Emma is... 441 00:20:36,656 --> 00:20:39,691 - not having an affair! - Hot damn! 442 00:20:39,692 --> 00:20:41,559 My wife's not cheating! 443 00:20:41,561 --> 00:20:44,128 Now I can stop pretending to be nice to her. 444 00:20:44,130 --> 00:20:45,997 Don't you want to know what she was doing? 445 00:20:45,999 --> 00:20:47,832 Because I totally get what happened now. 446 00:20:47,834 --> 00:20:49,500 Karen showed me using dolls. 447 00:20:49,502 --> 00:20:53,338 No, if she's not having an affair, I don't care what she does. 448 00:20:54,306 --> 00:20:56,842 Hey, uh, what happened with your mystery woman? 449 00:20:56,843 --> 00:20:58,443 It turns out she was married. 450 00:21:00,112 --> 00:21:02,915 - To a real nutjob, too. - Hmm. 451 00:21:08,687 --> 00:21:10,122 ♪ I don't know ♪ 452 00:21:10,123 --> 00:21:13,057 ♪ The same things you don't know ♪ 453 00:21:16,428 --> 00:21:18,396 ♪ I don't know ♪ 454 00:21:18,398 --> 00:21:21,599 ♪ I just... don't know ♪ 455 00:21:23,441 --> 00:21:27,344 - ♪ Ooh - It's a great big place ♪ 456 00:21:27,345 --> 00:21:30,881 - ♪ Ooh - Full of nothin' but space ♪ 457 00:21:30,882 --> 00:21:34,951 - ♪ Ooh - And it's my happy place ♪ 458 00:21:34,953 --> 00:21:37,554 ♪ I don't know ♪ 459 00:21:38,080 --> 00:21:41,206 sync & correction by f1nc0 ~ Addic7ed.com ~ 35767