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1
00:00:02,747 --> 00:00:04,472
You guys didn't have to do this.
2
00:00:04,473 --> 00:00:07,286
We couldn't send you off to
college unprepared, Tommy.
3
00:00:07,287 --> 00:00:09,012
I hope we got the right kind.
4
00:00:09,013 --> 00:00:10,739
We shopped for hours.
5
00:00:11,186 --> 00:00:12,240
It's beer!
6
00:00:12,241 --> 00:00:13,871
Ah!
7
00:00:13,872 --> 00:00:16,076
Not just beer, but...
8
00:00:16,077 --> 00:00:19,050
fake I.D.
9
00:00:19,722 --> 00:00:20,936
Look at you, Tommy.
10
00:00:20,937 --> 00:00:22,694
The first Solomon
to go to college.
11
00:00:22,695 --> 00:00:26,338
You get to explore New
horizons, expand your mind,
12
00:00:26,339 --> 00:00:27,809
and help us
to further understand
13
00:00:27,810 --> 00:00:29,567
that curious race we call human.
14
00:00:29,568 --> 00:00:33,212
Yeah. Plus I don't have to live
with you freaks anymore, you know?
15
00:00:33,213 --> 00:00:35,449
We're so proud.
16
00:00:35,450 --> 00:00:37,335
Well, you folks
say your good-byes.
17
00:00:37,336 --> 00:00:39,158
We've got a long drive
ahead of us.
18
00:00:39,159 --> 00:00:40,820
I'll load this into the car.
19
00:00:40,821 --> 00:00:41,429
Well, gosh,
20
00:00:41,430 --> 00:00:43,729
well, take care
of yourself, Tommy.
21
00:00:43,730 --> 00:00:45,391
I feel like I'm gonna cry.
22
00:00:45,392 --> 00:00:47,598
Hey. Ah-choo!
23
00:00:48,365 --> 00:00:50,155
No, not cry. Sneeze.
24
00:00:50,156 --> 00:00:50,986
All right. Bye-Bye.
25
00:00:50,987 --> 00:00:54,150
Bye, our little
information Officer.
26
00:00:54,151 --> 00:00:57,283
How in the world are we
ever gonna replace you?
27
00:00:57,284 --> 00:00:58,915
Well, you know, you'll just...
28
00:01:02,144 --> 00:01:02,623
Who are they?
29
00:01:02,624 --> 00:01:05,243
Oh, we're interviewing
for your replacement,
30
00:01:05,244 --> 00:01:06,746
so if you could just...
31
00:01:06,747 --> 00:01:07,993
Bye-Bye, Tommy!
32
00:01:07,994 --> 00:01:08,761
Bye-Bye!
33
00:01:08,762 --> 00:01:09,974
Hi, there. Welcome.
34
00:01:09,975 --> 00:01:17,647
How are you? Hi.
Nice to see you.
35
00:01:48,128 --> 00:01:51,707
Well, this is a very
impressive rÉsumÉ, Christie.
36
00:01:51,708 --> 00:01:53,657
I'm hoping I can
leverage my skill set
37
00:01:53,658 --> 00:01:56,022
to maximize the mission's
effectiveness.
38
00:01:56,023 --> 00:01:56,727
You hear that?
39
00:01:56,728 --> 00:02:00,946
She's gonna somethin'
the mission's whatever.
40
00:02:00,947 --> 00:02:03,982
Christie, ok, we've got
some other aliens to see,
41
00:02:03,983 --> 00:02:06,348
but we're very interested,
and we'll be in touch.
42
00:02:06,349 --> 00:02:10,024
So, uh, can we reach you at
the transmitter in your head?
43
00:02:10,025 --> 00:02:11,144
I have a machine.
44
00:02:11,144 --> 00:02:12,455
Oh, that's great.
45
00:02:12,455 --> 00:02:13,063
So, uh, Christie,
46
00:02:13,064 --> 00:02:15,267
how you gettin' along
with your body?
47
00:02:15,268 --> 00:02:16,291
You like the boobs?
48
00:02:16,292 --> 00:02:17,251
No. No, I really don't.
49
00:02:17,252 --> 00:02:21,053
Mmm. Yeah. The smaller
ones aren't as much fun.
50
00:02:21,054 --> 00:02:22,813
Well, Bye-Bye.
51
00:02:25,945 --> 00:02:27,927
So what do you think, Harry?
52
00:02:27,928 --> 00:02:28,822
Well, I think she's our man.
53
00:02:28,823 --> 00:02:30,389
Oh, she's amazing.
She's got the job.
54
00:02:30,390 --> 00:02:32,242
Let's just Crank through
this next bunch of bozos
55
00:02:32,243 --> 00:02:35,055
'cause we're not gonna find anybody
better, and then we'll just...
56
00:02:35,056 --> 00:02:37,198
Hi.
57
00:02:37,199 --> 00:02:39,243
I'm here for the interview.
58
00:02:39,244 --> 00:02:41,226
You're hired.
59
00:02:41,227 --> 00:02:42,984
Really? That's great. Thank you.
60
00:02:42,985 --> 00:02:44,422
I'm Bryce canyon.
61
00:02:44,423 --> 00:02:45,861
Oh, I like that.
62
00:02:45,862 --> 00:02:47,459
Sally, can I talk
to you for a second?
63
00:02:47,460 --> 00:02:49,505
Sure. I'll be right back, Bryce.
64
00:02:49,506 --> 00:02:50,752
Oh, isn't he great?
65
00:02:50,753 --> 00:02:52,542
I thought we were
gonna hire Christie.
66
00:02:52,543 --> 00:02:53,311
I hated Christie.
67
00:02:53,312 --> 00:02:55,420
You didn't even
ask him one question.
68
00:02:55,420 --> 00:02:58,744
I think you just wanna hire him
because he's a pretty boy.
69
00:02:58,745 --> 00:03:00,726
Fine. You want a question? Ok.
70
00:03:00,727 --> 00:03:02,644
Bryce, when can you start?
71
00:03:02,645 --> 00:03:03,604
Now.
72
00:03:03,605 --> 00:03:08,814
That is the greatest answer
to any question I have ever...
73
00:03:11,724 --> 00:03:13,769
well, here it is, Tommy...
74
00:03:13,770 --> 00:03:15,783
Your first dorm room.
75
00:03:15,784 --> 00:03:16,487
Oh!
76
00:03:16,488 --> 00:03:18,116
Hey, check this out, Dick.
77
00:03:18,117 --> 00:03:20,610
These walls are
real cinder block.
78
00:03:20,611 --> 00:03:22,496
Oh, I don't think so.
79
00:03:22,497 --> 00:03:24,510
Dear god, they are!
80
00:03:24,511 --> 00:03:27,739
Oh, this must be my roommate.
81
00:03:27,740 --> 00:03:28,953
His name's Joel.
82
00:03:28,954 --> 00:03:29,913
I guess he's asleep.
83
00:03:29,914 --> 00:03:33,941
I don't think he's asleep.
I think he's passed out.
84
00:03:34,709 --> 00:03:37,361
Kahlua and creme.
85
00:03:37,362 --> 00:03:38,002
I know he's unconscious,
86
00:03:38,003 --> 00:03:41,485
but I really get that kinda
buddies-for-life vibe, you know?
87
00:03:41,486 --> 00:03:42,318
You know what I was thinking?
88
00:03:42,318 --> 00:03:45,034
With you here at college
and me back in Rutherford,
89
00:03:45,034 --> 00:03:48,582
this will be the first time
we've been separated in...
90
00:03:48,583 --> 00:03:51,363
how many missions have
we been on together?
91
00:03:51,364 --> 00:03:51,940
Oh, dozens.
92
00:03:51,941 --> 00:03:54,336
It's not gonna be the
same without you, Tommy.
93
00:03:54,337 --> 00:03:55,455
You were my right arm,
94
00:03:55,456 --> 00:03:57,885
the one I could always
turn to for good advice.
95
00:03:57,886 --> 00:03:59,163
I learned a lot from you.
96
00:03:59,164 --> 00:04:00,282
Well, thanks, Dick.
97
00:04:00,283 --> 00:04:05,717
If you wanted to say that you
learned a lot from me, too...
98
00:04:05,718 --> 00:04:07,764
that would be fine.
99
00:04:08,499 --> 00:04:09,234
Uh...
100
00:04:09,235 --> 00:04:11,599
I mean, I must've
learned something.
101
00:04:11,600 --> 00:04:13,421
Well, thanks, Tommy.
102
00:04:13,422 --> 00:04:14,540
Yeah.
103
00:04:14,541 --> 00:04:15,946
Well, my friend...
104
00:04:15,947 --> 00:04:17,513
I'll see you in 4 years.
105
00:04:17,514 --> 00:04:20,614
5, if you're doin' it right.
106
00:04:20,615 --> 00:04:23,043
Yep. Magnificent.
107
00:04:23,044 --> 00:04:24,483
Yeah.
108
00:04:25,762 --> 00:04:29,565
So, Bryce, I understand you've
gathered some information for us.
109
00:04:29,566 --> 00:04:30,748
We're all dying to hear it.
110
00:04:30,749 --> 00:04:34,648
Well, earth beings,
otherwise known as humans,
111
00:04:34,649 --> 00:04:36,119
get around in cars,
112
00:04:36,120 --> 00:04:37,429
which have 4 wheels.
113
00:04:37,430 --> 00:04:41,810
Humans... have no wheels.
114
00:04:42,353 --> 00:04:46,636
Yeah! We've known that
for weeks, Bryce.
115
00:04:46,637 --> 00:04:49,609
Why don't you tell us
something we don't know?
116
00:04:49,610 --> 00:04:50,441
Harry.
117
00:04:50,442 --> 00:04:51,910
Go on, Bryce.
118
00:04:51,911 --> 00:04:52,359
Well, uh...
119
00:04:52,360 --> 00:04:54,276
there are only 2 bagpipe
factories in the world.
120
00:04:54,277 --> 00:04:57,985
One in edinburgh, scotland, 6
grant road, and the other's in...
121
00:04:57,986 --> 00:05:00,446
New guy, new guy, New guy!
122
00:05:00,447 --> 00:05:02,268
You've gotta be more specific!
123
00:05:02,269 --> 00:05:04,506
What side of the Road?
124
00:05:04,507 --> 00:05:06,424
Well, the factory's on the
left side of the road and...
125
00:05:06,425 --> 00:05:08,470
No! It's too late now!
126
00:05:08,471 --> 00:05:09,877
Hey, Hey, hey.
127
00:05:09,878 --> 00:05:12,498
Please, go easy on Bryce.
128
00:05:12,499 --> 00:05:15,056
I'm impressed with his work.
129
00:05:15,057 --> 00:05:17,390
Exceedingly impressed.
130
00:05:18,189 --> 00:05:20,491
Oops. I dropped my pencil.
131
00:05:22,025 --> 00:05:22,952
Oops.
132
00:05:22,953 --> 00:05:24,582
Oops.
133
00:05:24,583 --> 00:05:26,373
Oop... hey!
134
00:05:26,693 --> 00:05:28,066
Morning, everybody!
135
00:05:28,067 --> 00:05:29,058
Oh, morning, Dick.
136
00:05:29,059 --> 00:05:30,880
Say, have you met Bryce canyon,
137
00:05:30,881 --> 00:05:32,638
our new information officer?
138
00:05:32,639 --> 00:05:33,853
Oh, hello, Tommy.
139
00:05:33,854 --> 00:05:35,067
Bryce.
140
00:05:35,068 --> 00:05:35,931
Oh, of course.
141
00:05:35,932 --> 00:05:38,584
Tommy used to be
our information Officer.
142
00:05:38,585 --> 00:05:40,183
He's away in college now.
143
00:05:40,184 --> 00:05:41,525
You would have liked him.
144
00:05:41,526 --> 00:05:43,443
I liked him.
145
00:05:43,444 --> 00:05:46,480
Say, Bryce, we need
some sunbathing information.
146
00:05:46,481 --> 00:05:48,526
What do you say you grease
up, hit the rooftop,
147
00:05:48,527 --> 00:05:50,668
and I'll check on
your progress later, huh?
148
00:05:50,669 --> 00:05:51,564
Ok.
149
00:05:51,564 --> 00:05:52,778
Ok, great.
150
00:05:52,779 --> 00:05:53,162
Bye-Bye.
151
00:05:53,163 --> 00:05:56,614
Ooh, it's nice to have some
New blood around here, huh?
152
00:05:56,615 --> 00:05:58,021
Yes, but it is kind of odd
153
00:05:58,022 --> 00:05:59,970
to see someone else
sitting in Tommy's chair.
154
00:05:59,971 --> 00:06:02,176
Well, it's not
Tommy's chair anymore.
155
00:06:02,177 --> 00:06:03,136
It's Bryce's chair.
156
00:06:03,136 --> 00:06:03,839
Don't you dare say that.
157
00:06:03,840 --> 00:06:05,597
That's Tommy's chair. That'll
always be Tommy's chair.
158
00:06:05,598 --> 00:06:08,250
He's not dead. He's just in a
different location! That's all!
159
00:06:08,251 --> 00:06:11,223
Just in a different location!
160
00:06:11,224 --> 00:06:12,024
What is wrong, Dick?
161
00:06:12,025 --> 00:06:16,563
I just don't want anybody sitting
in the wrong chair. That's all!
162
00:06:17,394 --> 00:06:19,758
Excuse me. Where's the roof?
163
00:06:19,759 --> 00:06:20,527
Ah, forget the roof.
164
00:06:20,527 --> 00:06:22,284
You know, there's a little
light comin' in here.
165
00:06:22,285 --> 00:06:24,842
You just lie down right there.
166
00:06:26,952 --> 00:06:27,336
Ahh...
167
00:06:27,337 --> 00:06:31,843
see, Harry, this is the kind
of information we need.
168
00:06:35,008 --> 00:06:37,373
Tommy. Oh, there you are.
169
00:06:37,374 --> 00:06:39,164
Dick, what the hell
are you doing here?
170
00:06:39,165 --> 00:06:41,624
I just wanted to see
how you were doing?
171
00:06:41,625 --> 00:06:42,553
Eh, who's this?
172
00:06:42,554 --> 00:06:44,981
Uh, Dick, this is Cindy.
173
00:06:44,982 --> 00:06:47,603
Um, Cindy, this is my dad.
174
00:06:47,604 --> 00:06:51,023
Your dad? That's cute.
175
00:06:51,024 --> 00:06:52,366
See ya.
176
00:06:52,367 --> 00:06:55,947
Ah, oh, all right.
Ok. See ya later, cind.
177
00:06:55,948 --> 00:06:57,065
See ya later, cind.
178
00:06:57,066 --> 00:07:00,071
I think she thinks
you're a dork.
179
00:07:00,072 --> 00:07:00,902
Why are you here?
180
00:07:00,903 --> 00:07:02,468
Because I'm worried about you.
181
00:07:02,469 --> 00:07:03,938
I sensed that there
was something wrong.
182
00:07:03,939 --> 00:07:05,600
What are you talking about?
I'm having a great time.
183
00:07:05,601 --> 00:07:08,638
I feel like we pressured you
into going to college.
184
00:07:08,639 --> 00:07:09,246
It was my idea.
185
00:07:09,246 --> 00:07:10,173
You mustn't be so hard
on yourself.
186
00:07:10,174 --> 00:07:12,314
Why don't you just forget the
whole thing and come home?
187
00:07:12,315 --> 00:07:15,511
Dick, I want to go to college.
188
00:07:15,512 --> 00:07:16,534
You could go to Pendleton.
189
00:07:16,534 --> 00:07:17,940
I don't want to go to Pendleton.
190
00:07:17,941 --> 00:07:19,443
You've been telling me
for 6 years
191
00:07:19,444 --> 00:07:20,339
how much Pendleton sucks.
192
00:07:20,340 --> 00:07:22,992
Oh, no, but it's
gotten much better.
193
00:07:22,993 --> 00:07:24,398
We just painted.
194
00:07:24,399 --> 00:07:26,540
I am not leaving.
195
00:07:26,541 --> 00:07:30,983
Oh, well, all right.
I guess I was wrong.
196
00:07:30,984 --> 00:07:32,933
You don't want to leave,
197
00:07:32,934 --> 00:07:35,618
and I completely
respect your desires.
198
00:07:35,619 --> 00:07:38,591
I'm sorry I barged in on you.
199
00:07:38,592 --> 00:07:41,437
I guess I'd better get back.
200
00:07:41,438 --> 00:07:43,292
All right.
201
00:07:43,963 --> 00:07:44,922
Oh, by the way,
202
00:07:44,923 --> 00:07:46,551
good luck on the freshman prank.
203
00:07:46,552 --> 00:07:48,822
Hmm. What. What? Freshman Prank?
204
00:07:48,822 --> 00:07:52,274
Yeah. You know, that sort of
anti-social, rebellious act
205
00:07:52,275 --> 00:07:56,046
that wreaks havoc, but makes you
the most popular man on campus.
206
00:07:56,047 --> 00:07:56,814
Good luck with that.
207
00:07:56,815 --> 00:07:58,635
Wait. Wait. What do you mean?
208
00:07:58,636 --> 00:08:01,992
Like putting a goldfish
in the dorm water cooler?
209
00:08:01,993 --> 00:08:04,166
Oh, no. No. No. No.
210
00:08:04,167 --> 00:08:06,979
Something much more
destructive than that.
211
00:08:06,980 --> 00:08:09,026
You've got to do some
real damage if you want
212
00:08:09,027 --> 00:08:11,774
to set the girls'
hearts a-flutter.
213
00:08:11,775 --> 00:08:13,661
Eh, mm-mmm. I don't know.
214
00:08:13,662 --> 00:08:17,465
No. I understand.
It is a risky endeavor.
215
00:08:17,466 --> 00:08:19,063
Oh...
216
00:08:19,064 --> 00:08:20,534
look at your friend Cindy,
217
00:08:20,535 --> 00:08:23,059
talking to that young
rascal over there.
218
00:08:23,060 --> 00:08:25,680
I wonder what sort
of Freshman prank
219
00:08:25,681 --> 00:08:28,207
he's cooking up.
220
00:08:28,687 --> 00:08:30,029
You got any ideas?
221
00:08:30,030 --> 00:08:32,490
Only about a million.
222
00:08:34,984 --> 00:08:36,486
Bryce!
223
00:08:36,487 --> 00:08:39,395
I've been waiting for
that report on mustards
224
00:08:39,396 --> 00:08:40,227
for over an hour.
225
00:08:40,228 --> 00:08:41,569
Well, I'm still
working on it, sir.
226
00:08:41,570 --> 00:08:43,743
Yeah, well, while you
dilly-dally around,
227
00:08:43,744 --> 00:08:45,980
I got a pastrami and cheese here
228
00:08:45,981 --> 00:08:48,186
that's not getting eaten.
229
00:08:48,187 --> 00:08:50,264
You're the information officer.
230
00:08:50,265 --> 00:08:53,046
What's the proper mustard
for my situation?
231
00:08:53,046 --> 00:08:54,772
Well, sir, you could try yellow,
232
00:08:54,773 --> 00:08:55,954
or maybe dijon...
233
00:08:55,955 --> 00:08:58,192
you're just guessing.
234
00:08:58,193 --> 00:09:00,877
I know. I'm sorry.
I'm a screw-up.
235
00:09:00,878 --> 00:09:03,147
I feel like I don't
know what I'm doing.
236
00:09:03,148 --> 00:09:05,386
Have you ever felt that way?
237
00:09:06,313 --> 00:09:08,167
No.
238
00:09:08,583 --> 00:09:11,939
No, but everyone's different.
239
00:09:11,940 --> 00:09:13,505
This is such a tough planet.
240
00:09:13,506 --> 00:09:15,998
I mean... hey, would you help me?
241
00:09:15,999 --> 00:09:17,468
You know, be my mentor?
242
00:09:17,469 --> 00:09:20,410
If I had a Nickel for every time
243
00:09:20,411 --> 00:09:22,200
someone asked me that.
244
00:09:22,201 --> 00:09:24,661
Well, the first thing
you got to do
245
00:09:24,662 --> 00:09:26,708
is just sort of get comfortable
246
00:09:26,709 --> 00:09:27,859
in your own skin.
247
00:09:27,860 --> 00:09:28,659
About that...
248
00:09:28,659 --> 00:09:31,631
it feels so tight,
especially under the arms.
249
00:09:31,632 --> 00:09:33,709
Hmm. You know
what's good for that?
250
00:09:33,710 --> 00:09:34,827
Vaseline.
251
00:09:34,828 --> 00:09:37,577
Yeah, you just lube
them bad boys up,
252
00:09:37,578 --> 00:09:39,272
they work all day.
253
00:09:40,519 --> 00:09:41,573
I'm... I'm gonna try that.
254
00:09:41,574 --> 00:09:44,738
Also, a little bit
of advise HERE:
255
00:09:44,739 --> 00:09:47,966
Gum can double as adhesive,
256
00:09:47,967 --> 00:09:49,437
But most adhesives
257
00:09:49,438 --> 00:09:52,890
do not necessarily
double as gum.
258
00:09:52,891 --> 00:09:55,223
This is great, sir.
259
00:09:55,224 --> 00:09:58,611
No. No. You don't
have to call me "Sir."
260
00:09:58,612 --> 00:10:01,968
Call me "Your honor."
261
00:10:01,969 --> 00:10:03,055
Your honor.
262
00:10:03,056 --> 00:10:04,270
Yeah. Little bit louder.
263
00:10:04,271 --> 00:10:06,637
Your honor. That's it.
264
00:10:17,090 --> 00:10:20,286
Ok. That should do it.
265
00:10:20,287 --> 00:10:22,971
All right. Yeah.
266
00:10:22,972 --> 00:10:25,497
When the Chancellor
comes in here tomorrow,
267
00:10:25,498 --> 00:10:26,169
he's gonna flip.
268
00:10:26,170 --> 00:10:27,766
Oh, yeah. He'll have to flip.
269
00:10:27,767 --> 00:10:30,420
He'll have to flip! Ha HA!
270
00:10:30,421 --> 00:10:33,137
Ooh, ooh. No, wait.
271
00:10:33,138 --> 00:10:34,128
What do you say
272
00:10:34,129 --> 00:10:35,438
we take off the doorknob?
273
00:10:35,439 --> 00:10:37,517
Yeah. That'll really
get his goat.
274
00:10:37,518 --> 00:10:40,617
Oh, yeah. It sure will.
275
00:10:40,618 --> 00:10:41,418
There we are.
276
00:10:41,419 --> 00:10:43,175
Now for the signature moment:
277
00:10:43,176 --> 00:10:44,997
The pulling of the fire alarm.
278
00:10:44,998 --> 00:10:46,084
The fire alarm? Oh, yeah.
279
00:10:46,085 --> 00:10:47,843
You always got to
pull the fire alarm.
280
00:10:47,844 --> 00:10:48,930
Nice touch.
281
00:10:50,209 --> 00:10:50,784
Ok, Tommy.
282
00:10:50,785 --> 00:10:54,269
Go get the toolbox,
and we are out of here.
283
00:10:59,032 --> 00:11:00,086
Dick, open the door.
284
00:11:00,087 --> 00:11:02,420
You have the...
You have the doorknob.
285
00:11:02,421 --> 00:11:04,210
I know.
286
00:11:04,211 --> 00:11:07,087
Oh, my god! You planned this.
287
00:11:07,088 --> 00:11:09,580
You're trying
to get me expelled!
288
00:11:09,581 --> 00:11:12,170
Bingo!
289
00:11:12,171 --> 00:11:13,674
Dick!
290
00:11:17,267 --> 00:11:19,888
And that's why
old men wear their pants
291
00:11:19,890 --> 00:11:21,807
higher than young men.
292
00:11:21,808 --> 00:11:24,876
That is fantastically useful.
293
00:11:24,877 --> 00:11:28,136
Bryce, thank you so much
for staying up tonight
294
00:11:28,137 --> 00:11:31,013
and helping me out
with this crunch.
295
00:11:31,014 --> 00:11:32,707
Well, that's my job.
296
00:11:32,708 --> 00:11:33,283
Ah, you know,
297
00:11:33,284 --> 00:11:35,073
you're making quite
a name for yourself
298
00:11:35,074 --> 00:11:38,430
in the organization.
"Sally's boy wonder,"
299
00:11:38,431 --> 00:11:40,316
that's what they're calling you.
300
00:11:40,317 --> 00:11:42,873
Who's calling me that?
301
00:11:42,874 --> 00:11:44,152
Sally.
302
00:11:44,153 --> 00:11:46,677
Let's take a 5, shall we?
303
00:11:46,678 --> 00:11:48,819
Let me pour you a glass of wine.
304
00:11:48,820 --> 00:11:49,716
My research tells me
305
00:11:49,717 --> 00:11:51,377
that alcohol dulls your senses
306
00:11:51,378 --> 00:11:52,880
and impairs your judgment.
307
00:11:52,880 --> 00:11:55,085
I had not heard that.
308
00:11:55,086 --> 00:11:56,651
You know something, Bryce?
309
00:11:56,652 --> 00:11:58,218
If you play your cards right,
310
00:11:58,218 --> 00:12:00,999
I really think you have
a chance to go far.
311
00:12:01,000 --> 00:12:03,396
How far? All the way...
312
00:12:03,397 --> 00:12:05,762
but that's just the beginning.
313
00:12:05,763 --> 00:12:08,479
How can "All the way"
Be just the beginning?
314
00:12:08,480 --> 00:12:11,708
I like the way
you think, Bryce...
315
00:12:11,709 --> 00:12:13,499
but you can stop now.
316
00:12:13,500 --> 00:12:16,184
Don't you want to hear
the rest of my research?
317
00:12:16,185 --> 00:12:17,974
Ooh, I'm dying to,
but you know what?
318
00:12:17,975 --> 00:12:19,381
This chair isn't
very comfortable.
319
00:12:19,382 --> 00:12:20,979
I want to sit
where you're sitting.
320
00:12:20,980 --> 00:12:24,273
No. No. No. Don't get up.
321
00:12:26,031 --> 00:12:27,437
Ok. What you got?
322
00:12:27,438 --> 00:12:30,666
Well, Uh, uh, traffic lights.
323
00:12:30,667 --> 00:12:32,263
Green means "Go."
324
00:12:32,264 --> 00:12:33,318
Aah!
325
00:12:33,319 --> 00:12:36,612
You cracked the code.
326
00:12:36,613 --> 00:12:38,305
Let's celebrate.
327
00:12:38,306 --> 00:12:39,106
Oh. Oh, aah, unh.
328
00:12:39,107 --> 00:12:41,662
You know, if we're
through working tonight,
329
00:12:41,663 --> 00:12:42,590
I think I'm gonna turn in.
330
00:12:42,591 --> 00:12:43,900
Oh, no. We're not
through, Bryce.
331
00:12:43,901 --> 00:12:46,021
You come back here, and you
finish what you started.
332
00:12:46,022 --> 00:12:46,853
I'm beginning to wonder
333
00:12:46,855 --> 00:12:49,410
if you care about
traffic lights at all!
334
00:12:49,411 --> 00:12:51,105
Oh, Bryce, no!
335
00:13:01,623 --> 00:13:03,508
I came as soon as I heard.
336
00:13:03,509 --> 00:13:04,659
Tommy, what were you thinking?
337
00:13:04,659 --> 00:13:05,970
You set me up, you bastard!
338
00:13:05,970 --> 00:13:07,696
He's been saying
that all morning.
339
00:13:07,697 --> 00:13:08,911
Sure. Blame dad.
340
00:13:08,912 --> 00:13:09,711
I suppose you'll be sending
341
00:13:09,712 --> 00:13:10,957
this good-for-nothing
home with me.
342
00:13:10,958 --> 00:13:12,906
Well, it is a serious offense.
343
00:13:12,907 --> 00:13:14,601
Where are the expulsion forms,
344
00:13:14,602 --> 00:13:15,305
in your desk?
345
00:13:15,305 --> 00:13:16,168
I could give you a leg up.
346
00:13:16,169 --> 00:13:21,250
Tommy, for your infraction,
I am issuing a warning.
347
00:13:21,251 --> 00:13:23,072
That's it, Tommy.
Pack your bags.
348
00:13:23,073 --> 00:13:25,534
Get in the car... A warning?
349
00:13:25,535 --> 00:13:27,484
Dr. Solomon,
this is an institution
350
00:13:27,485 --> 00:13:28,795
of higher learning after all.
351
00:13:28,796 --> 00:13:30,393
And we don't want to stifle
352
00:13:30,394 --> 00:13:31,928
youthful exuberance.
353
00:13:31,929 --> 00:13:32,536
But a warning?
354
00:13:32,537 --> 00:13:35,156
Why don't you just give
him a big wet kiss?
355
00:13:35,157 --> 00:13:37,937
Dr. Solomon,
it was only a prank.
356
00:13:37,938 --> 00:13:38,705
Only a prank?
357
00:13:38,706 --> 00:13:41,934
You should wipe scum
like this off your campus!
358
00:13:41,934 --> 00:13:44,746
I remember my own
freshman prank.
359
00:13:44,747 --> 00:13:46,856
I messed with the
marching band's formation
360
00:13:46,857 --> 00:13:49,158
and made 'em spell out
a dirty word.
361
00:13:49,159 --> 00:13:50,055
That's very funny.
362
00:13:50,056 --> 00:13:51,205
Well, it's nothing like this.
363
00:13:51,206 --> 00:13:52,419
Well, you're too kind.
364
00:13:52,420 --> 00:13:53,379
What's happening here?
365
00:13:53,379 --> 00:13:54,083
Are you dating anyone?
366
00:13:54,084 --> 00:13:55,424
I have a daughter
about your age.
367
00:13:55,425 --> 00:13:56,543
I'd love to meet her.
368
00:13:56,544 --> 00:13:57,119
Wait a minute.
369
00:13:57,120 --> 00:13:59,452
I'm gonna call her up.
She ought to see this.
370
00:13:59,453 --> 00:14:03,001
Such attention to detail.
I love the coffee mug.
371
00:14:03,002 --> 00:14:03,640
Thank you.
372
00:14:03,641 --> 00:14:05,398
The coffee mug was my idea.
373
00:14:05,399 --> 00:14:07,412
This whole thing is mine.
He had nothing to do with it.
374
00:14:07,413 --> 00:14:10,098
I'm the mastermind behind
the freshman prank.
375
00:14:10,099 --> 00:14:10,898
Oh, really?
376
00:14:10,898 --> 00:14:11,569
Yes! If there's anyone
377
00:14:11,570 --> 00:14:14,956
you should be foisting your
daughter off on, it's me!
378
00:14:14,957 --> 00:14:17,450
Get out of here!
379
00:14:17,451 --> 00:14:19,912
Good day, sir!
380
00:14:20,488 --> 00:14:23,333
That's a picture of my daughter.
381
00:14:28,096 --> 00:14:29,950
Hey, guys. What's up?
382
00:14:29,951 --> 00:14:32,891
Sally, sit down.
383
00:14:34,490 --> 00:14:35,736
Ok.
384
00:14:35,737 --> 00:14:39,444
Sally, there's been
a complaint made against you
385
00:14:39,445 --> 00:14:45,230
by one of the employees
of the mission.
386
00:14:45,231 --> 00:14:46,669
Who?
387
00:14:46,670 --> 00:14:49,483
Bryce, do you wish
to remain anonymous?
388
00:14:50,985 --> 00:14:54,341
Sally, Bryce feels
that you've been
389
00:14:54,342 --> 00:14:56,195
sexually harassing him,
390
00:14:56,196 --> 00:14:57,314
and he has requested
391
00:14:57,315 --> 00:14:58,753
that he, at no time,
392
00:14:58,754 --> 00:15:01,917
be left alone
in a room with you.
393
00:15:01,918 --> 00:15:04,411
I think that's something
I'd like to discuss
394
00:15:04,412 --> 00:15:06,361
with Bryce privately.
395
00:15:06,362 --> 00:15:08,311
Ok, I'll leave you 2 alone.
396
00:15:08,312 --> 00:15:12,371
Harry? Would you please stay?
397
00:15:12,372 --> 00:15:14,417
All right.
398
00:15:14,418 --> 00:15:16,271
Bryce, look...
399
00:15:16,272 --> 00:15:17,390
you're very new here,
400
00:15:17,391 --> 00:15:19,149
and you must have misunderstood
401
00:15:19,150 --> 00:15:20,938
my professional encouragement.
402
00:15:20,939 --> 00:15:26,437
I mean, a Pat on your muscular
back is not harassment.
403
00:15:26,438 --> 00:15:27,588
Well, I looked it up,
404
00:15:27,589 --> 00:15:28,515
and according to state laws,
405
00:15:28,516 --> 00:15:30,689
harassment is any verbal
or physical overture
406
00:15:30,690 --> 00:15:31,553
that makes me feel
uncomfortable,
407
00:15:31,554 --> 00:15:33,086
and I'm very uncomfortable.
408
00:15:33,087 --> 00:15:34,556
Well, if you're not comfortable,
409
00:15:34,557 --> 00:15:37,274
you should take off your pants.
410
00:15:37,275 --> 00:15:41,016
Casual thursday.
411
00:15:43,253 --> 00:15:43,701
That is it!
412
00:15:43,702 --> 00:15:45,650
I don't think I can work
here with Sally around.
413
00:15:45,651 --> 00:15:48,048
Now either she goes, or I go.
414
00:15:51,277 --> 00:15:51,693
Sally?
415
00:15:51,694 --> 00:15:55,336
Ok. Everything you
said was True, Bryce.
416
00:15:55,337 --> 00:15:58,820
I treated you like a
sexy, hunky object
417
00:15:58,821 --> 00:16:04,703
instead of a sexy, hunky
employee, and I'm sorry.
418
00:16:04,704 --> 00:16:05,790
I'm the one who should go.
419
00:16:05,790 --> 00:16:10,329
This is good. The system works.
Bye-Bye, Sally.
420
00:16:10,330 --> 00:16:12,312
See ya, Harry.
421
00:16:13,399 --> 00:16:14,965
Bryce...
422
00:16:14,966 --> 00:16:16,658
look, it's a small universe,
423
00:16:16,659 --> 00:16:19,184
and we may work
together again...
424
00:16:19,185 --> 00:16:20,846
so I just want to say
that I've learned
425
00:16:20,847 --> 00:16:25,035
a really valuable lesson
here today, and...
426
00:16:25,036 --> 00:16:26,697
well, no hard feelings.
427
00:16:26,698 --> 00:16:29,030
Of course not.
428
00:16:29,031 --> 00:16:33,027
Cool. In you go,
you piece of meat!
429
00:16:41,915 --> 00:16:44,503
We're never hiring
anyone ever again.
430
00:16:44,504 --> 00:16:47,635
Well, with him gone, I
guess you'll be wantin' me
431
00:16:47,636 --> 00:16:50,545
to oil up and put on
the speedos.
432
00:16:50,546 --> 00:16:54,445
Oh, no, no.
433
00:16:59,880 --> 00:17:00,616
What?
434
00:17:00,617 --> 00:17:01,893
I came to tell you I'm leaving.
435
00:17:01,894 --> 00:17:03,876
Then leave. But I can't leave
436
00:17:03,877 --> 00:17:04,994
without speaking my mind.
437
00:17:04,995 --> 00:17:05,730
Well, you never could.
438
00:17:05,731 --> 00:17:08,319
You are making a big
mistake, mister.
439
00:17:08,320 --> 00:17:09,822
College is not what
you think it is.
440
00:17:09,823 --> 00:17:11,324
Oh, it doesn't matter
what I think.
441
00:17:11,325 --> 00:17:12,315
It's a big, ugly machine
442
00:17:12,316 --> 00:17:14,265
that will Chew you up
and spit you out.
443
00:17:14,266 --> 00:17:15,288
I don't approve of college.
444
00:17:15,289 --> 00:17:16,120
You teach at a college.
445
00:17:16,121 --> 00:17:17,941
Oh, sure. Throw that in my face.
446
00:17:17,942 --> 00:17:18,901
You know what the problem
447
00:17:18,902 --> 00:17:19,892
with your generation is?
448
00:17:19,893 --> 00:17:20,660
You never had to work!
449
00:17:20,661 --> 00:17:22,736
Work? I work!
I'm third in command
450
00:17:22,737 --> 00:17:24,462
on this stupid mission.
Oh, ha ha ha.
451
00:17:24,463 --> 00:17:25,199
Oh, ha ha ha. You know,
452
00:17:25,200 --> 00:17:26,476
I don't even know
who you are anymore.
453
00:17:26,477 --> 00:17:27,531
You've changed. I've not...
454
00:17:27,532 --> 00:17:29,737
Oh, yes, with your
new life of learning,
455
00:17:29,738 --> 00:17:34,149
your internet, your nintendo,
your fancy friends.
456
00:17:34,150 --> 00:17:35,747
Your tv, your virtual reality,
457
00:17:35,748 --> 00:17:38,560
your... your... and your...
I... I don't even know!
458
00:17:38,561 --> 00:17:39,329
What are you talking about?
459
00:17:39,330 --> 00:17:41,118
What am I talking about?
What am I talking about?
460
00:17:41,119 --> 00:17:43,228
I'll tell you
what I'm talking about!
461
00:17:43,229 --> 00:17:45,914
I don't want you to go!
462
00:17:47,161 --> 00:17:50,390
I don't want you to go.
463
00:17:51,764 --> 00:17:55,727
Come here. Sit down.
464
00:17:55,728 --> 00:17:57,295
Come on.
465
00:18:00,811 --> 00:18:03,560
Why did you have to grow up?
466
00:18:03,561 --> 00:18:05,509
I don't know.
467
00:18:05,510 --> 00:18:07,140
It was just the body I picked.
468
00:18:07,141 --> 00:18:08,674
Well, I don't like it.
469
00:18:08,675 --> 00:18:10,241
Parenting's hard.
470
00:18:10,242 --> 00:18:14,620
You give love, you give
encouragement, you give support...
471
00:18:14,621 --> 00:18:17,306
and then, if you do a good
job, they just go away.
472
00:18:17,307 --> 00:18:21,239
Well, then, I guess you did a
pretty good job then, right?
473
00:18:22,166 --> 00:18:22,902
What do you mean?
474
00:18:22,903 --> 00:18:25,778
Parental love at It's best.
475
00:18:25,779 --> 00:18:27,056
It's the only love there is
476
00:18:27,057 --> 00:18:30,573
that inevitably
leads to separation.
477
00:18:30,574 --> 00:18:33,993
How do you always
know these things?
478
00:18:33,994 --> 00:18:36,167
I'm the information officer.
479
00:18:36,168 --> 00:18:38,437
I sent you a memo
on this years ago.
480
00:18:38,438 --> 00:18:42,528
Well, then, I guess I did
do a pretty good job.
481
00:18:42,529 --> 00:18:44,542
Yeah.
482
00:18:44,543 --> 00:18:45,630
You all right?
483
00:18:45,631 --> 00:18:47,515
Yeah.
484
00:18:47,516 --> 00:18:49,050
You want a beer?
485
00:18:49,051 --> 00:18:52,536
Sure. Ok.
486
00:18:59,952 --> 00:19:03,308
There's beer in this room.
487
00:19:03,309 --> 00:19:05,482
Nice to meet you, Joel.
488
00:19:05,483 --> 00:19:06,250
Isn't this yours?
489
00:19:06,251 --> 00:19:09,511
No, no, no. I was just leaving.
490
00:19:12,803 --> 00:19:15,361
I'll see you at thanksgiving.
491
00:19:18,110 --> 00:19:21,211
J... ok.
492
00:19:23,033 --> 00:19:25,366
So, how did things
work out with the new guy?
493
00:19:25,367 --> 00:19:27,188
Oh, well, he decided to pursue
494
00:19:27,189 --> 00:19:29,202
career opportunities elsewhere.
495
00:19:29,203 --> 00:19:30,576
You came on to him, huh?
496
00:19:30,577 --> 00:19:33,837
Yeah, like Germany
came on to Poland.
497
00:19:33,838 --> 00:19:35,915
Our first Sunday night
without Tommy.
498
00:19:35,916 --> 00:19:38,569
Feels kind of funny being out
here without him, doesn't it?
499
00:19:38,570 --> 00:19:39,400
Yeah, it kind of does.
500
00:19:39,401 --> 00:19:41,478
But you know, I'm ok with it.
501
00:19:41,479 --> 00:19:42,820
After all, I've been left
502
00:19:42,821 --> 00:19:44,035
with 2 of the greatest guys
503
00:19:44,036 --> 00:19:45,858
I've ever been
on a mission with.
504
00:19:45,859 --> 00:19:46,785
Oh. Oh.
505
00:19:46,786 --> 00:19:48,255
Hey, guys.
506
00:19:48,256 --> 00:19:49,661
All: Hey, Tommy.
507
00:19:49,662 --> 00:19:50,206
What's goin' on?
508
00:19:50,207 --> 00:19:51,356
Well, school's only
an hour away,
509
00:19:51,357 --> 00:19:54,905
so I figured I could
do my laundry here.
510
00:19:56,823 --> 00:19:59,539
I wonder what Tommy's
doing right now?
511
00:19:59,540 --> 00:20:01,266
He's separating his whites.
512
00:20:01,266 --> 00:20:02,641
Yeah, and maybe
starting to presoak.
513
00:20:02,642 --> 00:20:04,878
Mmm. I hope he goes
easy on the bleach,
514
00:20:04,879 --> 00:20:07,947
but you know Tommy. He won't.
515
00:20:07,948 --> 00:20:10,729
No. Never.
35321
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