All language subtitles for 3rd Rock From the Sun - 06x02 - Fear and Loathing in Rutherford.DVDRip.English.edit.Addic7ed.com

"You almost won $1 million.

Please try again."

What does it say, Tommy?

I can't look.

Who cares?

Aw, man, are you still
moping about Alissa?

Well, what am I supposed to do?

She won't even talk to me.

Everything was going
really great

right up until graduation.

I don't even know
what I did wrong.

You gave a commencement speech

that was mostly about making out
with her on her parents' bed.

No one ever remembers
those speeches.

If it makes you feel any better,

I don't think you'll ever
do any better than Alissa.

Ohh!

If I could just talk
to her face-to-face,

we could work it out. I know.

You just need an excuse
to go over there.

I know. Um, think of something
sentimental that you gave her,

and then just ask
for it back. Yeah.

That'll stir up her emotions
and get you in the door.

That is good. Thank you, Sally.

A beer tap?!

Yeah. Remember?

We rented it
for the senior party,

and we forgot to return it.

I'm out 40 bucks deposit.

I never wanna see you again.

20 bucks of it is yours.

Oh.

You see, there's a spark here.

Alissa, honey, who is it?

Tommy Solomon, daddy.

All right, come in.

Uh, the tap's up in my room.

I'll go get it.

Hello, Thomas.

Hello, strudwick.

I thought Alissa had given
you your walking papers.

I'm sorry. My what?

Dumped you.

Gave you the boot,
the old heave-ho.

Oh, yes. Yes, she did.

But she's a big girl.
She can change her mind.

She can make her own decisions.

And who's to say that she
won't make those decisions

with me... in your jacuzzi.

You shut your mouth!

Ok! All right. Bye-Bye, daddy.

Where are you two going?

What's in that suitcase?

Those must be my walking papers.

Strudwick: Dick? Dick?

Is Alissa here?

No, she's not, strudwick.

Why don't you join her

and not be here together.

Well, she disappeared
3 hours ago

with your ragamuffin son.

"Ragamuffin"?!

Sally, throw him out.

Harry, bring me a dictionary.

All I know is, there was
a lot of whispering,

and, when they left, Alissa
was carrying a suitcase.

Harry, did Tommy
say anything to you?

Only that he loved Alissa,
needed Alissa,

and would so anything
to get Alissa back.

Yet, over ice cream cones,

she spoke highly of a girl
named... Alisha.

You know, Dick, when Tommy left,

he did say he had a plan

that would bring him and
Alissa back together.

Ah.

Young, impassioned lovers

sneaking out of the house
on a secret mission

with a suitcase...

I'm stumped.

Sounds to me like
they've eloped.

Yes, eloped. See, I knew.

This is a catastrophe!

Now, Now, strudwick,

as fathers, we must bless
our children's choices

and Let them
follow their hearts.

Dick, does this mean that
you and beardy-faced guy

are gonna be related?

No, not at all, Harry. I...

oh, my god!

We've gotta stop them!

Seat belt on.

Lumbar support in.

Vanity mirror...

Where the hell is it?

We're in a fantastic hurry.

We have to wait for Mary.
It's vital.

Mary: Dick?

Over here, Mary. Hurry up!

I got your message.

What's so important about
a Charlie Daniels cd?

Chase music.

What Chase? What's going on?

There's no time to explain.
We're in a fantastic hurry,

Tommy and Alissa have
eloped somewhere.

Oh, no!

Yes.

They might be at that little
chapel by the state line.

Great idea. Get in. Chop-chop.

Dick, could you move your
seat up just a little bit?

I finally got it how I like it.

Go in through strudwick's side.

Tommy: Hey.

Hi, Tommy. Hi, Tommy.

Tommy, did you elope
with Alissa?

Nah.

Goes to show ya. I knew it.

But we returned
that tap together.

I convinced her to watch
a video with me tonight.

Yes!

I just came home
to change shirts.

Cool.

See, I figured out

what was wrong
with our relationship.

She wants a man.

She sees me
as an immature doofus.

But... I ask you this.

Would an immature doofus
rent this?

"If I were you, I'd get out
of that house in a HURRY: 3."

What gives?

We watch that,
she gets really scared...

Wants a big strong man
to protect her.

Yeah. Oh.

It's all gonna go fine.
I know it is,

or else I'll just
move to plan "B."

What's plan "B"?

Flowers.

But sometimes, even they
don't cheer me up.

Oh, poor Tommy.

He's desperate.

If Alissa isn't scared
into his arms tonight,

he'll spend the rest
of his life heartbroken.

You know, I'm a little
worried about this plan.

What if the scary movie
isn't scary enough?

Yeah. The problem
with Scary movies

is you know they're not real.

It's a flawed genre.

What if we go over there...

and make it real?

Yeah.

They'll be naked by 9:30.

That's right.

Here we are, strudwick.
Pull over.

All right, Mary.

You can do your business here.

I would've preferred
a rest stop, Dick.

And I wanna live on Big rock
Candy mountain, Mary.

And remember...

I know... fantastic hurry.

I don't blame Alissa.

How could she resist
marrying into the solomons?

But Tommy with your daughter?

Was this some kind
of science experiment

that got out of hand?

I always knew that boy of Yours

would walk off with
something from my house.

I figured it would be something
from my curio cabinet.

If Tommy really wanted
to hurt me,

he could've just
jumped off a bridge.

At least, that wouldn't
have hurt me.

What's gotten into them?

Alissa's mother and I didn't
get married until we...

Until... until we had Alissa.

My god, Dick! I think she's...

Pregnant? Yes!

Gun it, Vincent!

Dick?

Is there an extra map
in the glove compartment?

Dick?

Dick!

Ok. They're on the Couch,

but they're not sitting
very close.

Get over here.

Harry, listen and learn.

First, I got a chain
to drag against the wall.

Then, I got a rubber ax.

Then, I got tomato juice,
which doubles for blood.

And I got low-sodium
tomato juice,

which doubles for blood
but is better for you.

But this isn't scary.

We gotta be subtle. "Subtle"?

Yeah. Did you ever see jaws?

Ok. The scary part
was not the shark.

It was the hint of the shark.

Yeah. The fin. Ooh!

Slicing through the water.

All right. Well, what, so
you got something planned?

Yes, I do.

Harry, that's adorable, but,
you know, as a warrior,

I think I know how to scare.

Well, as someone
who's always scared,

I think you're wrong.

Oh, really?

This movie's pretty scary.

Yeah, yeah.

But notice that all the people

that haven't been killed yet

are in committed relationships...

With All their ups and downs.

Ok. Not so tight.

Being in-laws was bad enough.

But my blood,
intermingling with yours,

in the veins of this... spawn...

It's unholy.

Go faster, Dick.

I only want to jump
out of this car once.

Oh, no. No sweet embrace
of death for you, Vincent.

Like it or not, we're gonna
be grandparents together.

Well, if that's the case,
I wanna be called "Pop-pop."

I wanted "Pop-pop."

You snooze, you lose, Dick.
"Pop-pop"... That's me.

Well, that's not fair.

Well, take "Gramps"
Or "Gee-gaw."

"Gee-gaw"? You just
made that up.

Mary, Have you ever
heard of "Gee..."

Mary?

With she with us when
we got that pecan roll?

No, I don't think so.

Good god, Dick!

We left her at mile Marker 20.

She should've said something.

She's unstable...

Has been ever since she
took up with you.

You solomons, you specialize
in destroying women.

It's the talk of the town.

It's the talk of the town.

I hate your voice,
I hate your face.

I hate your glasses.

I hate the man Who
made your glasses.

Look out for that deer!

Look out for what, honey?

There were 2 treasures
in my life, Dick.

The first was my daughter.

The second was my economy sedan.

You've taken them both.

Well, you're no saint,
strudwick.

You're the one who made us
wear these stupid t-shirts.

Our old shirts were covered in
deer blood and broken glass.

Oh...

call the fashion police.

You know, it's funny.

I used to bring these
creamers home to Alissa.

She'd have little tea parties
with her stuffed animals.

They grow up quick, don't they?

Yeah. I can remember.

When Tommy didn't even know
how to wipe his own Butt.

Then he figured it out
all on his own...

and taught me.

Mm. You're right, strudwick.

They do grow up too fast.

Ah, this one's on you.

Dick, I...

No, no, no. I insist.

Dick, I don't have any cash.

I paid for the motel.

Well, there was only
$20 in Mary's purse,

and you made me spend
that on the t-shirts.

There's only one thing
to do, Dick...

Dine and Dash.

Now, timing is everything.
Wait for my signal.

They're onto us. Relax.

Anything else?

Now!

Well, we did it your way,

and you know who
got terrified... me.

But Tommy and Alissa are
farther apart than ever.

What can I say?

I was hoping you'd bleed more.

Now we're gonna try it my way.

Bird seed?

That's not scary.

Plus you'll attract every
bird in the neighborhood.

Exactly. We'll feed
'em a lot at first.

But then, bit by bit,

we'll pull back.

First we'll get them hooked,

and then we'll get them pissed.

Yeah, Yeah, yeah.
And then, slowly,

we'll start to replace the
seed with human flesh.

That is not bad.

All right.

How soon do you think
they'll come?

Maybe tonight.

Maybe 6 months.

Maybe never.

But they'll come.

As god is my witness,
they'll come.

Yeah, that's a great idea.
You know what?

While we're waiting
for your birds,

I hope you don't mind

if I get a jump
on my next scare tactic.

No. Go right ahead.

Why are you putting that on me?

Well, I don't want to
light my head on fire.

Alissa...

does your streetlight
sometimes look

like a flaming disembodied head?

Oh, Tommy, I've missed
your sense of humor.

You know, I went out with some
other boys after we broke up,

but... don't be mad.

It could be swamp gas.
Are we near a swamp?

But nobody was like you.

I've decided to forgive you.

I'm a guest.

You should get that.

Officer don.

Hello, Alissa.

Tommy.

I'm here on official business.

Alissa, we found
your father's car

on the interstate...

Crashed and covered with blood.

Oh, my god!

Do you mind? I'm not done yet.

In addition,

we found a dead deer
Not far from the car.

This is horrible.

So my dad hit a deer?

Slow down, Nancy drew.

That's one explanation.

Another is a tri-county
murder spree

with your dad at the center.

What does that have to
do with a dead deer?

Even a deer can be a witness.

Maybe it saw something...
and paid the price.

Orville, go.

10-4.

Your father was spotted
checking into a motel

with a psycho wearing
a tight t-shirt

and carrying a purse.

So my dad's ok? He's alive.

Yes, But my cop nose tells me

that there's an ugliness

spreading throughout this town.

No one is safe.

See ya.

Oh, Tommy, I'm so scared.

Yeah, you should be.

Hello?

Solomon! Strudwick!

I'm gonna kill you!

I think that's the person
that's gonna kill us.

Dick, my toothbrush is wet.

Did you brush
your teeth with it?

No...

I did not... brush my teeth

with your toothbrush.

Well, let's try
and Get some sleep.

I never want to think
about this day again.

Which part don't you want
to think about most...

Our abandonment of Mary,

our collision with that deer,

or your coming epiphany

that I am a nocturnal Spooner?

Because it's all
too much for me.

I can't take it anymore.

Dick, stop thinking
about yourself.

Try thinking about our kids.

They've got no education,

no jobs, no homes to live in.

You're right. They have nothing.

They're screwed.

Our only choice
is to write them off.

It's not that simple.
There's going to be a baby.

A baby.

So pure, so small,

so not-so-screwed-up yet.

It's a lot of work. It
takes a village, you know.

Yeah, but don't you see?

We have a shot with a grandkid.

It's the next generation...
Nature's do-over.

I don't know.

Just picture it,

that first magical moment...

You're holding your perfect
grandchild in your arms.

He looks into your eyes,

reaches up
with his tiny fingers,

touches your grizzly
red stubble...

and says, "I wub you, pop-pop."

We can make this work.

I propose a toast.

All right.

To our grandchild.

To our grandchild.

May he, or she,

inherit the best
from both grandfathers.

All right, dirtbags!

You're gonna get
what's comin' to ya!

Don't shoot!

We're gonna have a baby.

Thanks for stopping.

You got enough room back there?

Yeah, whatever.

At least your night is over.

Still not naked.

Nothing's working.

Hey, what if I do an
eerie dance of death?

No. It's too artsy.

I still say we stick
with the classics, ok?

We have 3 options left.

We can reanimate a dead person,

pop out of Alissa's stomach,

or go after them
with a power tool.

Let's meet halfway, ok?

'Cause I'm doing
the dance of death.

No. It's not scary enough.

But...

I'll do it with a power tool.

What is it?

I don't know.

Tommy, I'm really scared.

You know, in these movies,

the maniac's always
after the girl.

That's True.

He is always after the girl.

Here's the girl!

Let's work together!

Harry, you were terrific.

We did it. They're hugging.

Actually, he's being
a little rough,

but I guess
that's Tommy's style.

Aw, man.

So you swear to me

you never saw that deer before.

No.

I'm keeping the case open.

Dick: Oh, there's
our honeymooners.

Can't keep their hands
off each other.

Thank god you're here!

Tommy, I know I've shown
you nothing but contempt,

but I love you.

Welcome to the family.

There's something out there!

I want to feel the baby kick.
The what?!

You've really kept your figure.

Dick, she's not pregnant!

But there's something
evil outside!

Not pregnant? No.

Vincent, are you
as devastated as I am?

Frankly, Dick,
I'm kind of relieved.

I'm telling you, we're not safe!

Are you abandoning me?
We were in this together.

We were in bed.
I was vulnerable.

Well, screw you, pop-pop!

In your eye, Gee-gaw!

Will you people shut up!
We're in horrible danger.

What's all the
commotion, everybody?

Hey, anybody need any help?

Did you guys see it? There's
something out there.

It's terrifying.

Uh, which part of the terror

did you find most romantic?

Romantic?!

He tried to sacrifice me
to the creature.

She called us "The creature."

Our work is done.

Look, it's been a long night

of dashed dreams
and close calls.

The important thing is that
we're all safe and sound

and no one has been harmed.

Why did you leave me?

Tommy: It's her!

It's her! It's the creature!

Well, I'll be damned

if strudwick becomes a
grandfather before I do.

Oh, Tommy, look.

There's one...
Waiting for the bus.

She's the perfect mate.

Hey, you! Bus girl!

Dick, what is the attraction

about being
a grandfather, anyway?

Grandchildren are
vessels of youth,

optimism, and hope.

And the wonderful thing is,

by the time they screw
up their lives,

you're either dead or
completely out of it.

People don't say that enough.

Tommy, look, there's
another prospect.

That's dubcek.

Oh. Man, she fools you
from behind.