Original subtitles

♪♪

♪ I like that, yeah ♪

♪ I like that ♪

♪♪

It's my job as your debate teacher

to try to get you to think outside the box,

so think about it this way.

Would you rather own a tropical island --

Island. I want to own an island.

You didn't let me finish.

Would you rather own an island

or donate those billions to Feeding America?

Well, I've already committed to the island thing, so...

I'm also for Luke moving to an island by himself,

far away from everyone.

[ Chatter, knock on door ]

Sorry to interrupt. Quick question.

Anyone interested in starring in a production

of the greatest alien love story of all time --

"As the World Sa-Turns"?

It's my original piece I am writing and directing

for our school's annual musical in a week.

Who's in?

Oh, I would say yes,

but my mom told me to stop lying.

Quick question -- [ Chuckles ]

could I join, do very little work,

take very much credit, and put it on my college résumé?

Super smart idea --

which is why I'm already doing it.

So I have a quesh.

No, teachers can't audition.

Hey, but could they if they sang

a showstopping ballad like "Chandelier" by Sia?

Oh, I wish, but rules are rules.

Too bad it's just for students.

Ah, damn it.

I would have been amazing.

♪♪

♪ I'm gonna swing from the chandelier ♪

Miles: ♪ Like tomorrow doesn't exist ♪

Why does my echo sound better than me?

♪ Exist ♪

♪ I'm gonna fly ♪

♪ Like a bird from the night ♪

Oh, my God.

Miles, you have to audition

for Mr. Escalante's musical.

I'm more of a sing-in-the-shower kind of guy.

[ Gasps ] You should shower in front the whole world.

What?

I'm pretty sure I'm supposed to be

helping you reach your full potential.

You shouldn't hide that talent. Come on. What do you say?

You're gonna keep pressuring me until I audition, right?

You're really getting to know me.

I will not stop.

I guess it'd be kind of cool.

Yes, another win for Alicia.

You know, this calls for a celebratory duet.

From the top.

♪ I'm gonna swing ♪

Miss G!

Can you keep it down? It's my free period,

and I'm trying to watch my stories.

♪♪

So, as you know,

I made an app that rates your status updates

before they go out

as good, problematic, or don't do it,

but I -- [chuckles] I think it's broken

because every time I use it,

it keeps saying, "Problematic."

Hey, Sarah, uh, quick question.

Are you free tomorrow after swim practice?

Well, I was gonna rearrange the letters

on the school marquee into a series of curse words.

You know, girl stuff.

[ Chuckles ] Cool.

Um, I was just wondering if you were interested

in hanging, maybe over coffee?

Yeah, I'd really like that.

I'll see you all later.

Dude!

You finally set a time with her, one-on-one.

Um, chest bump.

You know, touching fronts is not as cool as you think.

What? You're not happy for Terrell?

No, I totally am. I never said that.

It's just, uh,

Sarah clearly thinks you asked her to a group hang.

She said, "I'll see you all later at the coffee shop."

No, no, no, no, no, no.

She said, "I will see you all later,"

meaning, "I will see you around school,

but I will see you, Terrell,

for our romantic one-on-one."

As a man who's paid his dues on the dating scene,

I think I know.

She said, knowing full well.

[ Chuckles ] No, no, seriously. Who?

Um, Robyn, in the sixth grade.

[ Scoffs ] Everybody knows that.

We spent the afternoon at my house

because your mom forgot

to pick you up from my birthday party.

That is not a relationship.

For the record, people told me

you spent the whole party asking where I was.

Because we were playing hide and seek.

Yeah, okay, well, you just tell yourself

whatever it is you need to hear.

I'm sorry to bring our baggage into this.

Bro, what baggage?

There is no -- it ceased to exist.

Guys, guys, guys, if I was interested in old drama,

I'd watch "One Tree Hill" with my cousins.

I need to know what to prepare for --

a hang or a group hang.

The first.

Okay, I hear what you're saying,

but I like what he's saying.

As much as I can't believe

these words are about to come out of my mouth,

I got to go with Luke.

[ Chuckles ] Excellent choice, my friend.

Chest bump.

Yeah. Come on.

It was too much bump, not enough chest.

♪♪

Okay. My assistant director.

Show me my spaceship.

I think you're gonna be pretty happy.

Oh, uh, for safety, just...

So I'm still working out some of the kinks.

What's wrong?

Nothing. [ Chuckles ]

I guess in my mind,

this isn't just, like, a spaceship.

It's, like, a vessel powered by the hopes and dreams

of two lost alien souls

and their 25 respective hearts.

Um, just remember the budget was $50.

Anyway, you know what?

We'll make this work.

Oh, we'll make this work. Because it's that bad.

Hey, I did not say that. This is a good job.

I'm gonna make the greatest alien spaceship

your stupid eyes have ever seen.

Thank you?

Hi, Makayla. Okay.

Elliot, call an OB-GYN

'cause a star is about to be born.

For the last time, teachers can't be in the play.

Not me.

But thank you.

Meet your new star.

Hey, Mr. Escalante.

Hey, Miles. Miles can sing?

Does my mother have an opinion on my hair?

Yes.

Miles, show him.

Hold it right there.

Griffin! Get in here.

I just cast Griffin this morning.

Uh, he'd be playing your love interest, so sing to him.

I want you to really sell me.

Good luck, Niles.

[ Chuckles nervously ] It's actually...

No, you know what? Niles works.

He really wants to do this.

Okay, love that you're looking out for him,

but this is the big time.

It's clearly not.

[ Soft music playing ]

One, two, three...

♪♪

He's -- He's just nervous I can fix it.

Um, hey, just pretend we're in the bathroom together.

♪♪

Miles, wait.

Before you think that's weird,

Terrell was there, too.

♪♪

Sarah is gonna love you,

but you should really reconsider

that finishing touch I suggested.

The monocle? Do I look like Mr. Monopoly?

This is the guy you choose to listen to.

Terrell, I'm telling you, this is a mistake.

She doesn't think this is a date.

Okay, well, we're about to find out

who is right and who is -- wrong!

Oh, I was so wrong.

She is not dressed for a date.

No!

Guys, my outfit has romance written all over it.

What do I do?

How does stripping help me?

You're practically naked in the pool every day.

Uh, yeah, Luke, go run interference.

Terrell, I got you, okay?

Hi, Luke.

What are you doing?

I'm... thinking of a letter.

Guess what it is.

[ Imitates buzzer ]

The correct answer was "H."

Think of another one.

Are --

Let me finish.

Are you an idiot?

Terrell!

Now think of a number. No, no.

Hey, Sarah.

Welcome to the group hang,

where we all hang as a group.

[ Chuckles ]

Wow, that is -- that is one fitted...

flannel.

It's a Canadian large.

The sizes don't really translate overseas.

♪ I like that, yeah ♪

♪ I like that ♪

When I petitioned for a gender-neutral bathroom,

this isn't what I had in mind.

What happened yesterday?

I don't know if you realize, but you didn't sing.

Like at all.

The stupid play isn't for me, okay?

There's no reason to be scared of Mr. Escalante.

He is not a real director.

Yeah, but I'm not scared of him.

I forgot how to human when I discovered

I was auditioning as the love interest

of the Griffin.

So? What's so great about Griffin?

You're joking, right? He's smart,

he's funny, and he looks like a hot teen vampire,

but without all the teen-vampire drama.

I get it. You like Griffin.

Obviously. Everyone likes Griffin.

Okay, so you get to play opposite him in a musical.

Dude, that's great.

All due respect, Ms. Gomez,

but you're out of your element,

Griffin could have any guy he wants at this school.

There's no way he'd choose me.

Ugh.

Miles, don't sell yourself short.

We've all been there.

We've all been forced to sing

in an alien musical with our crush?

Look...

when I was in high school,

I was madly in love with this gorgeous senior named Jake,

and on my 16th birthday, which my dad forgot,

he found out I liked him and --

And he pulled up in his red Porsche

after a school bus pulled away.

I've seen "Sixteen Candles."

Damn you for being an old soul.

I mean, really, who knows

how many opportunities I've lost out on

'cause I was scared -- roller coasters, getting bangs,

going in the drive-thru at 1:00 a.m.

You could still do all those things.

You could still do the musical.

It's true.

I've always dreamed of being in a musical.

So what do I do?

I mean, I really blew that audition.

[ Chuckles ] Yeah, you did.

Don't worry. I got you. I'll -- I'll think of something.

Please don't.

You're right!

I'm better when I wing it!

♪♪

My other spaceship's a hybrid.

So...

Griffin, no more ad-libbing.

Elliot, you need to give Miles another shot.

I'd love to, but clearly,

this moment is too big for him.

The play opens tomorrow,

and no one else has auditioned.

He's got the part.

Yes.

You're not gonna regret this.

Oh, my God, I'm his manager now.

Do you pay me directly or --

Just Venmo me.

I already regret this.

♪♪

[ Slurping ]

[ Sighs ]

Look at us, a bunch of friends being friends,

hanging out at a coffee shop.

It's like the show. Um, uh...

"Friends."

Okay, uh, Robyn, care to join me

to get some more coffee?

[ Chuckles ] Oh, thank God.

Should've worn the monocle.

Hit me.

Can you keep a secret?

"Keep" is a strong word.

When Terrell invited me here,

I kind of just thought he meant the two of us.

Oh.

So like one on one, like romantically.

Yeah, I thought it was pretty clear what he meant.

I mean, I guess he just wanted the cringe fest in there.

[ Chuckles ] You'd be surprised.

Signals do get crossed a lot.

Yeah, by idiots.

Hey, let's not play the blame game.

Just give me two seconds, please.

Hey, guys, so we have a situation.

Sarah kind of just wanted it to be a...

[softly] one-on-one.

What was that?

[ Normal voice ] You know, she wanted it to be

her and Terrell and us, just without us.

Wait, so she wanted what I wanted.

And I was right and you were wrong?

And now I've ruined my chances?

This is a disaster.

Luke is back, baby!

This calls for an I-told-you-so selfie.

[ Camera shutter clicks ]

You send that to me and I will hurt you.

Can you guys please leave so I can try to salvage this thing?

[ Cellphone chimes ]

I couldn't help myself.

♪♪

♪ Don't listen to a word I say ♪

Stupid ship.

I can't find the parts to make it work.

I know you're a perfectionist,

but you don't have to obsess over this.

You don't need to beg, borrow, or steal to meet my vision.

So you want me to steal?

I am 100% not saying that.

Blink if it's a yes.

I can't not blink, Makayla.

Copy that.

Okay. Welcome, Miles, to your first

and our last rehearsal.

Alright, so in this scene,

Zalien must tell Gorben-Glop how he feels

in the universal language of the cosmos -- music.

What is this musical about?

I don't know.

I think we're making it up on the fly.

Cue the orchestra.

[ Soft music plays ]

♪ The said I couldn't do it ♪

♪ But I'm flying next to you and ♪

♪ Getting further from the ground below ♪

♪ Different worlds brought us together ♪

♪ If I can survive the weather ♪

Wow, you wrote this?

Wrote? It poured out of me.

♪ I'll need your hand to take me home ♪

♪ I want to go wherever you go ♪

♪ And just lead me to space ♪

♪ We can face what they throw at us ♪

♪ Just don't let go ♪

He is really good.

I know.

♪ I want to fly ♪

Sing it to him.

♪ I want to fly ♪

♪ I want to fly, take my hand and -- ♪

I'm sorry.

I can't do this.

Mr. Escalante, I quit.

Told you this was a mistake.

Music has brought this galaxy together.

Let's rejoice!

Drip Lord, out.

♪♪

Hey, Sarah, you took off before we could talk.

Oh, yeah, I needed to add an "S"

onto "As the World Sa-Turns" on the school marquee.

"Ass the World Sa-Turns." I made it "Ass."

[ Chuckles ] Cool, cool.

Look, the truth is when I asked you to hang out,

I was hoping it would just be the two of us.

Yeah, me too.

I mean, that was more awkward

than when Mr. Escalante went in for a handshake

and Ms. Gomez went in for a hug.

[ Chuckles ] Look, the truth is

I let my friends get in my head,

which is why from now on,

I'm gonna be as direct as possible.

Cool. I'm listening.

Alright.

Hanging.

Musical.

Solo.

Yeah, you feel me?

Is that the most direct you can be?

Well, if it's so easy, you try it.

Sure, "Sarah, I would love

to go to the musical with you one-on-one."

I don't hear a difference.

Alright, well, what do you say?

I'd love to.

[ Bell rings ]

What's in the cart, Makayla?

Nothing.

Definitely not stealing supplies from the robotics lab

to build a sick-ass spaceship

to rub in Mr. Escalante's stupid face.

I was never here.

We're already gone.

♪♪

Miles, are you okay?

No.

I told you Griffin wasn't into me,

and that rehearsal just confirmed it.

I'm sorry.

I-I don't know what's going through Griffin's head,

but what I do know is that you are an incredible singer.

Game recognizes game.

That last part really undermined the compliment.

Look, if Griffin doesn't like you,

that's too bad,

'cause after the whole school hears you sing,

you'll be out of his league.

No one's gonna hear me

if there's no co-lead in the play.

Alright, we'll find another guy,

or maybe I'll throw some green paint on

and see where the music takes me.

I'll find another student.

No need. It's time I stood up for myself.

♪♪

Hey.

You can't quit a musical the night before it goes on.

You made a commitment, so if you have an issue with me

or whatever, let's just get it over with.

Who says I have an issue with you?

It's obvious because you're like...

Griffin!

And I'm like... Miles.

Yeah, you're like Miles,

the guy with one of the most amazing voices I've ever heard.

I was nervous just to be onstage with you.

What?!

Yeah, I mean, you've got it all --

an undeniable talent...

great look.

What?!

I guess I do.

To be honest, I was nervous to be around you, too.

Really?

But I pushed through because, together, we'd be epic.

Not to mention the hottest alien couple.

What?!

I'm sorry. It was so much cuter when you did it.

I've --I'm in. [ Chuckles ]

Luke: Where is he?

You!

Ooh, if you think you're too good for my best friend,

think again.

You're about to get Luked.

Actually, it's all good.

Then why -- why did you text me

that the prettiest people do the ugliest things?

Mnh-mnh.

And this is my cue to take him away.

Gentlemen.

Get Luked? Really?

♪♪

[ Applause ]

Good evening, Meadows Creek High.

Well, I hope all you theater lovers

enjoy our production of "As the World Sa-Turns."

[ Cheers and applause ]

♪ I want to fly ♪

♪ I want to fly ♪

♪ Take my hand and I'll fly with you ♪

♪ I'm gonna fly ♪

♪ Look at me fly ♪

♪ But just don't let go too soon ♪

♪ 'Cause they can't bring us back down ♪

♪ When our feet are touching the moon ♪

[ Cheers and applause ]

Come, Zalien, let's run away to my spaceship.

Oh, Gorben-Glop,

my 25 hearts beat only for you.

[ Cheers and applause ]

♪♪

[ Sighs ]

Come on, Makayla, you got this.

♪♪

I did it.

I can't believe it worked.

♪♪

Oh, balls.

♪♪

I cannot believe you blew the power

for the entire East Bay.

Pretty cool, right?

Totally.

I need to step up my game.

I'm really glad you changed your mind

about doing the musical.

I had a lot of fun, thanks to you.

Me, too, Gorben-Glop.

We should hang sometime.

What?!

Okay.

Dude, what a wild week.

I mean, first, I almost Luked Griffin,

and now he wants to have a group hang with us.

[ Chuckles ] Bro, that was clearly a one-on-one.

No, no! Don't listen to them!