Original subtitles

(train whistle blows)

- Woo-oo! - Hi!

Morning.

- Bernard? - Hmm?

(trickling water)

Dianne, it's me!

Dianne?

For goodness' sake.

Dianne!

(voices on radio)

Dianne, do you hear me?

(gasps)

The body's upstairs, sir.

George.

Morning, John.

What the hell is this?

Someone's idea of a bride in the bath?

It's a weird way to drown somebody.

Or drown one's self, but we'll know a lot more

when we get her out of here, which has to be soon!

- Yes, sir. - OK, George.

(George) Where's that photographer?

(siren wails)

(yawns)

Hi!

(George) Poor girl.

- A ligature. - Yeah.

So I doubt she drowned.

Sir, the dead girl is Dianne Price.

She's been IDed by her housemate.

- Her name? - Jo Starling.

- Where is she? - In the living room.

I'll be down in a minute.

(George) Whoever did this really wanted her

to look the part.

Bag these.

So, how are you, Malcolm? Keeping OK?

Mmm.

And keeping busy?

- (siren wails) - Yeah.

What are all the police cars doing in the village?

Don't know.

We're not used to the excitement, not in Great Worthy.

Miss Starling.

I'm Detective Chief Inspector John Barnaby.

May I sit down?

All right if I call you Jo?

I realise this has been a terrible shock to you,

but I need to ask you questions.

Is that OK?

When did you last see Dianne?

Well... I didn't actually see her this morning.

When I left for work,

she was in bed, in her room.

She was awake. She called out, said...

Said "Cheerio" and "Take care".

What time was this?

Just after seven. - Did she not go to work?

No. She was between jobs. Office work.

And when you arrived home, what happened?

I came back for lunch.

I called out. She didn't answer.

Then I saw the water.

Was there anyone outside?

No vehicles around?

No.

Tell me something, Jo. Was Dianne ever married?

What about boyfriends?

There was Simon. She lived with him once in the village.

Then they split up and she came to live here.

Do you know Simon's second name?

I think it was Fisher.

Yes, it was. It was Fisher.

And does he still live in the village?

- No, he moved away. - Any idea where he went?

No.

There's a ladder in the back garden. Does it belong there?

Yes, it's Mr Flack's. He's the landlord.

Is he a good landlord?

Yes. He's a bit fussy, but he's all right. Why?

The bathroom... There are no blinds, just a net curtain.

And the bedroom windows have no curtains.

I know. Mr Flack promised to... promised to put some up.

But he hasn't got around to it yet.

Had you seen these before?

So they weren't in the house when you went out this morning?

No.

Do you recognise this?

Yes. It's Dianne's.

She always wore it.

On which hand?

Her right hand. This finger.

Can you think of anyone who would harm her?

No.

She was the... kindest, most friendly person.

And to find her like that in the bath,

and those flowers and that... that writing...

Why?

There you go. Undercoat.

Thank you. That's about all, thank you.

How much is that, Bernard?

I think you'd better get over to the cottage.

Why?

Because the place is swarming with police, that's why!

(phone rings)

- Yeah? - Sam?

- It's me, Jo. - Hi, Jo.

Look... I won't...

I can't get back into work today.

That's OK. Anything wrong?

- You all right? - (sobs)

Jo? What is it?

Tell me, please.

Hang on, Bernard. I'll come with you.

- How long's he been like this? - Oh, since yesterday afternoon.

She likes clambering around on the rocks down by the pond.

At your age, Rosie? You should be taking things easy.

- I'm fairly sure it's a sprain. - Mmm.

Hello, Sam!

- What's wrong? - It's Dianne.

She's dead.

Someone broke into the cottage and... killed her.

- Excuse me. - Sorry. I can't let you by.

- Can you let me through? - I need to get in!

- No one can pass. - I need to get in there now!

- Yes, can I help you? - You can help all right.

- I wanna come in. - No one's allowed in.

But I'm the landlord. I want to know what's going on.

- I've a right to know. - OK.

- Mr Flack? - Yes?

Detective Chief Inspector Barnaby.

This is Detective Sergeant Jones.

I still want to know what's going on.

A very serious crime has taken place here.

Serious crime? Then I definitely want to come in.

- I want to see what's happened. - Just listen to them.

I'm a friend of both Dianne and Jo. Can I help in any way?

- And your name is? - Orchard. David Orchard.

When you say serious crime...

I'm afraid Dianne Price is dead.

She's been murdered.

(cheering on TV)

(snores)

- All done here, John. - Thanks, George.

Miss Starling.

It's all right. Your friend is no longer in there.

Do you, by any chance, recognise that writing?

How about the colour of the lipstick?

It was the kind Dianne always wore.

She liked bright red lipstick.

Would you show us her room, please?

- Yvonne, guess what's happened. - I've already heard.

That's one less bit of skirt for you to peep at.

Them police at the cottage,

I wonder what they'll make of your hidey-holes.

I haven't been in here since... since it happened.

I didn't want to touch anything.

Where did Dianne keep her lipstick?

Oh. They used to be all over the top of the dressing table.

She loved her lipsticks. She had loads of them.

Now they've all gone.

Would you be kind enough to give Sergeant Jones

a list of all those who were close to Dianne?

- Of course. - Thank you.

What else can you tell us about your landlord?

Mr Flack?

He's OK.

He often comes here to... fiddle around,

repairing and improving things, even if they don't need fixing.

- You can't come in here, madam. - One of my friends...

(Jo) Fran!

Poor Jo! What you must've been through!

Mr Barnaby, this is Fran Carter.

Mr Barnaby's in charge of the investigation.

- John. - I'm the local vet.

Known to every living creature in the area

but not the police, thankfully.

Is there anything I can do to help?

- I'm fine. - No, you're not.

Look, I've got a spare room.

What if I put Jo up while you get on with your investigation?

- That would be a good idea. - Great.

When I finish work, I'll come and fetch you.

It'll be around sevenish.

Not like you to have flowers like those in the house, Jo.

They're far too tacky.

Sorry. Have I said something wrong?

You've seen flowers like those before?

Yes. Why? I was only asking.

Where have you seen them?

- All right. - Cheers, mate.

That's terrible. Who'd wanna kill Dianne?

She never bothered anyone.

Thanks. I need this.

- Was it a sex attack? - I don't know.

The police wouldn't tell us any more.

And they wouldn't let me into the cottage.

Of course they wouldn't.

If I was still in the force,

I'd have given you the bum's rush.

- No time for rubberneckers. - I didn't go just to look.

We saw you going past. In a bit of a hurry as well.

That's because I'm the landlord.

I wanted to know if any damage had been done to my property.

Who cares about your property?

What about the girl that's been killed?

I think we should pray for her.

I expect we will at the funeral service.

No, I mean now. She was one of us.

- A neighbour. - We know that.

So I think we should all go to the church right now

and pray for her poor, lost soul.

Come on, David. I've got a pub to run. Same again, Frank?

- Thanks, mate. - I've gotta get off too.

(woman) We're all still thinking about her, David.

We'll never stop doing that.

They're all £2.50.

No, no, I don't want to buy them. I wanna talk about them.

I'm Detective Sergeant Jones, Causton CID.

And you are?

M-Malcolm.

Malcolm who?

M-Malcolm M-Merryman.

And do you own the place?

No.

- My m-mum and dad do. - Ah.

How many of these have you sold

in the last few days, Mr Merryman?

None.

Well, who usually buys them?

Travellers mostly.

Can you remember the last traveller who bought a bunch?

How am I supposed to...

remember people I don't know?

So they get nicked a lot, do they?

Probably.

I don't count them.

Do you have CCTV?

- No. - No.

Can't afford it.

(school bell rings)

(man) Oh, Chief Inspector.

- Please come in. - Thank you.

(man) It's my half day. Excuse the mess.

- What do you teach, Mr Orchard? - History and French.

And I believe you were teaching Dianne Price on a private basis.

That's right. A bit of basic French, part time.

Not that I have that much spare time.

- Yeah, poor Dianne. - I'm told she was out of work.

Could she afford to pay you for French lessons?

I never charged her.

You mean you did it for love?

Money doesn't always matter. Teaching's a two-way thing.

We gain from it, we get something back.

Besides, I also have a fiancée.

- Ah. - Excuse me. I'll just...

When did these lessons take place?

Mostly during the evenings.

When was the last one?

Last Thursday, I think.

Yeah, it was. At the cottage.

How was she?

Oh, her usual self. In good spirits.

Not troubled by anything apart from finding work,

and she was quite optimistic about that.

So sad. Terribly sad.

So what does your fiancée think about all this?

Louise? She won't mind. I'm doing it for her.

- Well, for us. - She lives in Great Worthy?

No, South Africa. She's working out there on a contract.

Teaching. Marvellous job.

Good money, and, like me, she's saving hard

and then when she decides to terminate the contract,

she'll come back and we get married.

The school don't mind me making changes,

out of my own expense, of course.

And they want Louise to be teaching here.

Problem is, I've gotta get it finished before she comes back.

Well, good luck.

Thank you.

Sorry, mate, you can't park there.

Visitors' car park's on the far side.

- I'm looking for Sam Tomlin. - That's me.

Detective Chief Inspector Barnaby, Causton CID.

Look, if it's about the murder, I don't see how I can help you.

I'm told you were a friend of Dianne's.

Yeah. We were kind of mates.

How close?

Just mates.

- This is Walter. - Hello, Walter.

He's too old these days to go out and graze.

There you go, old fella.

Dianne used to like coming here.

When did you last see her?

Must've been a couple of days ago.

She came here to see Jo.

Good-looking girl like Dianne,

I'm surprised you weren't more than mates.

Me? No. I tried to get close to her a couple of times.

But she didn't wanna know.

So what can you tell me about her ex-boyfriend?

He was a plonker.

Worked in some tacky office. That's where she met him.

Look, why don't you speak to my mother? She's in the gift shop.

- She works here? - She owns the place.

And she knows all about the people of Great Worthy.

She married most of them.

(woman) Well, to set your mind at rest, Chief Inspector,

I'm not some female Bluebeard.

I once served the area as registrar.

Until I decided to retire.

- Ah. - It's my son's pathetic joke.

He's fond of telling everyone

that I've married most of the locals.

So, who killed her? Do you know?

It must've been someone from outside the village.

- Why? - Because she was liked.

I can't think of anyone who'd want to hurt her.

What about her ex, Simon Fisher?

No, he was too much of a wimp.

I hope you're gonna pay for those!

Have you hosed down the yard yet?

- I'll get round to it. - I want it done now!

Must think we're made of money.

I suppose you rely solely on donations.

Yes, we do.

So what made you retire from the marriage business?

Oh, I'd grown weary of it. It's pure hypocrisy.

Dianne Price's body was dressed up to look like a bride.

Can you think of any reason why that would happen?

No.

None whatsoever.

Come on.

(train whistle blows)

Is that what I think it is?

It's not a working line, sir, just a heritage site.

So it's all retired donkeys

and steam trains round here.

Oh, it's no-go with the dead woman's ex-boyfriend, sir.

He's got a fool-proof alibi the night of the murder.

- And he lives in London now. - I don't blame him.

- Thank you. - (laughter)

Cheers.

- Mrs Nikki Rowntree? - Yes.

Detective Chief Inspector Barnaby, Causton CID. This is...

Oh, we know who this is. It's Ben Jones.

In a naff suit.

Hello, Matt.

Must be... six years

since you deserted the boys in blue?

Yeah, something like that.

Then again, uniform must've been glad to get rid of you.

I know I was.

We used to work together, Chief Inspector.

On the beat in Causton.

But only when we had to, though, eh?

So, what can we do for you?

Dianne Price. We believe she used this pub.

Yeah, poor thing. She was a local.

Does that mean she came in most days?

No. She wasn't exactly a boozer.

- When was she last in? - Sunday, wasn't it?

Yeah, it was quiz night. She always came in on quiz night.

- Was she on her own? - No.

She was with Jo Starling, her flatmate,

and Fran Carter, the vet,

and also Sam from the sanctuary.

They often drank together.

Had you ever seen Dianne drinking with anyone else?

I can't remember.

Well, I hope you hurry up and find whoever did it,

otherwise you're gonna have my old man back in the force.

He used to kick the crap out of the weirdos.

Thank you, both.

Oh, Chief Inspector.

Your oppo, back in the old days we used to call him Jonah.

Not because of his name.

Just because he'd always put the mockers on things.

He'd wreck all your plans, turn a good day into a bad one, eh?

Someone should tell this village

it's lock-up-your-daughters time with those two.

- Why? - He liked the low life.

Probably still does. She used to exploit young women.

- They're bad news. - They speak well of you.

Yeah, well, if I had a degree in psychology,

I'd know how to let things wash over me, but I can't.

Oh, dear. Sorry to hear that.

What is it?

I just don't like seeing people from my past, that's all.

Oh, Matt.

Come on.

The past is the past. Just forget about it.

I'll tell you what I'm gonna do.

I am gonna make you happy tonight, OK?

That's better.

- Oh, hello, Chief Inspector. - Mr Flack.

You're lucky. We're about to close in five minutes.

This is my wife, Yvonne.

This is Chief Inspector Barnaby.

Nice to meet you, Mrs Flack.

And what a pleasure it is to find a shop like this.

- We do our best to please. - I'm sure you do.

I get lost in those big DIY stores.

And no one is helpful.

Talking of DIY,

I visited Mr Orchard's house at the school.

He's set himself a bit of a task.

Oh, we do all right out of David.

- Why's that? - He's too fussy.

I'd like these, please.

Could you tell me where you were this morning, Mr Flack,

between the hours of, say, 7:30 and one o'clock?

I was here in the shop.

We were doing the accounts before we opened up.

Is that right, Mrs Flack?

Yes.

I'm sorry to have to ask such a question,

but it's all part of our investigation.

How much is that?

Hello, fella.

No, it's nothing for you, Sykes.

- Hello, darling. - Three dozen cup hooks.

Why? We don't have three dozen cups.

And... spare bath plugs. Always handy.

Right. Well, I'm not gonna cook.

I've had a tough day, so it's Chinese.

I'll warm the plates, you get the food.

Do you know anything about the Brides in the Bath murders?

- No. - 1912.

Meant to look like accidental death.

What is the best way to drown someone in a bath

without any signs of a struggle?

I don't even wanna think about it.

Well, you pull them up by their feet.

- Drag them under. - Right.

That's what George Joseph Smith did.

That's what he was hanged for.

See, old murders can be fascinating.

There's a lot to learn from them.

Chicken chow mein.

Hello?

Hello?

Bit of an emergency. One of our customers.

That old biddy from Castle Street. She just telephoned.

Her taps don't work and she can't get a plumber,

so I said I'd help her out.

I never heard the phone.

Well, it rang. You must've been busy.

(phone rings)

Hello. Fran?

- Jo, it's me. Sam. - Oh.

- Hi, Sam. - Are you OK?

I'm fine, fine.

I was wondering if I could come over,

see if I can help in any way.

Not right now. It's difficult.

- How do you mean, difficult? - I'm busy.

I'm waiting for Fran to pick me up.

I'm spending a few nights at her house.

(cheering on TV)

(chanting and cheering)

I'll be back later.

I said I'll be back later!

We heard you.

Just to tell you, I won't be in tonight. I'm going to the pub.

Well, I've started supper.

Well, I'll just have to have it when I come back, won't I?

(door slams)

You still here?

And how are you, Malcolm?

F-Fine... thanks.

Still getting 'em in and filling 'em up?

Just about.

And I bet you're a right little charmer

with all those lady drivers, eh?

Boom-boom.

Thanks.

So, where were you when your friend died, eh?

- Eh? - That's your trouble, Sam.

You're so busy saving the whales and the rainforest,

you're never around when you're needed.

He's in a right mood. What have you done to upset him, Sam?

Nothing.

George Henry Lamson poisoned his brother-in-law

with a slice of Dundee cake.

Then there was William Palmer, another poisoner.

Guess what he said when he stood on the gallows trap door.

- I have no idea. - He said, "Is this thing safe?"

Most of them thought that they were pretty clever.

But not many of them could outwit Sir Bernard Spilsbury,

Home Office pathologist of the time, he was excellent.

Even in those days, he could work

with the minimal amount of human remains.

And you say you learn from that?

Yes. We have to think like the murderers.

What about your profession? What about teachers?

What about them?

Well, do they ever try to think

like the children they teach,

share their games, share their sense of humour,

let their imaginations run riot?

That wouldn't make sense, would it?

No, I suppose it wouldn't.

Time, gentlemen, please! Drink up now, thank you!

Night, all.

- Night, Sam. - See you.

Ta-da!

Told you I was gonna make you happy the way you like it.

(laughter)

Morning, Sam.

Morning, Tom.

Got your tea.

I don't know what I'd do without you.

I do. You'd go back to town.

Start cruising the kerbs again late at night.

Couldn't leave it alone, could you?

Do you remember those lonely days

when you were at college in Durham

and I was working in London?

I wasn't lonely.

I was.

Keys, keys.

- Over there. - Oh, thanks.

And all we really wanted to do

was to get married and stay together, but we had to wait.

- Right. - And that's faith. Blind faith.

If you say so.

And I admire anyone who has faith like that.

- I'm late. - I wouldn't have guessed.

(phone rings)

Barnaby.

Why here, for God's sake?

John.

- These were on top, apparently. - Same flowers.

Sir.

Yes, same as the other victim. Strangulation.

Whoever did it had to dismember her to get her into the basket,

hence the blood, a lot of blood.

First impressions suggest some kind of saw was used

to sever the lower limbs.

Another bride.

Same colour lipstick.

- "Not wanted on voyage." - Some joke, eh?

- Does the basket belong here? - No, sir.

The volunteer staff have never seen it before.

- Where could it have come from? - Anywhere.

There's blood on this sack trolley.

My guess is that she was driven here

and then wheeled in on this.

If whoever's responsible is local,

and I'm sure they are, let's keep them contained.

I want an extra police presence in the village.

Yes, sir.

Then get over to Miss Carter's house and surgery,

check the place out.

Ben, take a couple of my people with you.

She may have been murdered there.

Right.

All this... It could be 1934.

A body found in a trunk on Brighton Station.

What's this killer playing at?

- Thanks for your help. - That's all right.

(rings bell)

- Oh, hello, Mr Orchard. - Morning, Len.

- Come on in. - Thank you.

- Olive! Mr Orchard! - (cheering on TV)

- Ooh, hello, Mr Orchard. - Hello, Olive.

I've got the groceries you asked for!

- That's very kind. - And here's your prescriptions!

Oh, good.

I'll put your change on here, shall I?

Yes, that's fine!

- You're a good man. - Yes.

Better than that lazy, good-for-nothing son of ours.

- Like a cup of tea, Mr Orchard? - No!

I can buzz Malcolm, get him to come over and make you one.

No, no, that's fine. I've got to meet a friend.

Sir, I've found it! White estate!

(door opens)

Oh...

(exhales)

(vehicle pulls up)

Think we'd better wait for Mr Bullard.

Morning, Liz.

Morning.

I managed to buy your favourite ice buns.

Oh, David, you spoil me.

- How's Louise? - Oh, fine.

Still working hard in the sunshine, she tells me.

And she's been offered a promotion. Deputy head.

Oh. Will she take it?

No, she wants to come home.

You will, you will, you will, you will, you will!

Ooh! Yum! Thank you.

Just promise me one thing.

When you get married, don't have kids.

I've left it too late for that, I'm afraid.

That son of mine.

From the moment he was born, we've never got on.

The times when I could... Oh!

And marriages... I've seen too many.

Come on, Liz, you were marvellous at your job.

That was because I tried to be different.

It was that superintendent registrar

who thought differently.

That man belonged in the Middle Ages.

(sighs) When I look back

through all those clumsy brides and ugly grooms,

ghastly clothes

and awful family and friends...

And all that bloody confetti.

- Cheers. - Cheers.

Could be back in time, waiting for a train.

A day out by the sea, all for 30 bob.

I know I've seen it all in my job,

but that poor woman didn't deserve what happened to her.

Nor the girl in the bath.

Get this maniac.

I will.

See you later.

And, John...

glad you're here... in Midsomer.

Bernard.

Another woman's been murdered.

- Who? - Fran Carter, the vet.

So you'd better watch what you're doing, hadn't you?

She promised to collect me yesterday evening.

I waited and waited and then I gave up.

Thank you.

Please, tell me what's happening.

I mean, Fran of all people.

Can you tell us about her friends?

The only ones she had seemed to be working at the sanctuary.

She liked living alone.

She did have a close friend once, but she left the village.

- What about the locals? - She got on with everybody.

Mr Flack, my landlord, liked her.

- David used to tease her. - David?

David Orchard.

He told her he was thinking of buying a pet

just so he could see more of her.

He's such a kind person.

I was in a bad way once.

I was in love with a man who was already married.

And David talked to me, he helped me get through it.

- Anyone else? - Sam at the donkey sanctuary.

He tried to chat her up once.

- Did he get lucky? - No. He wasn't her kind.

Anyway, Sam likes his girls weak and helpless.

I'm sorry?

No, we all used to joke about it,

saying if there was a maiden chained to a rock,

he'd be the first one to get there before the dragon came,

but he'd take his time releasing her.

Because he wanted to enjoy the moment.

Maidens chained to rocks.

Now, there's one for the psychologists.

- Do you know something, Jones? - Yes, sir?

I spent a lot of my time and all of my savings to get my degree.

It was important to me.

If it doesn't help me to understand you,

it helps me to understand others.

(Liz) If it wasn't for my animals, I would pack a bag

and leave here until all this madness is over.

What is happening to this village?

We're told that Fran once had a close friend who moved away.

Yes, a female partner.

They were going to undergo

a civil partnership registration,

that was while I was still in office,

but the relationship failed before I could marry them.

Good girl.

Are you married, Sergeant?

Me? No.

Oh, well, then, Great Worthy's the place for you.

There are far more single women here than men.

You can take your pick.

- Can I think about that? - Of course.

We have a fine church, although that prick of a vicar

would drive you out your mind.

In fact, we have a wedding there today.

God help them if he launches into one of his sermons.

Is your son at home, Mrs Tomlin?

Yes, yes, he is.

- Why? - We'd like a word with him.

He's in the big field, nursing a hangover.

He knows he won't get any sympathy from me.

- Was he out last night? - Yes.

He was. In the pub, till late.

Thank you.

Ah. Fiver.

- Eh? - I donated last time.

A fiver?

Would you like to adopt a donkey, Chief Inspector?

No, thanks. I've already got one.

Afternoon, Mr Tomlin.

- Hi. - How's the head?

We hear you had a good session last night.

- Where was that? The Signalman? - Yes.

- Until when? - Closing time.

- (Jones) Then what? - I came home.

- Straight home? - Yeah.

Why are you asking me all this?

Fran Carter was killed last night.

So I've heard. You think I did it?

We have to ask questions of everyone, Mr Tomlin.

Especially those who weren't home last night.

Walk on.

(Jones) Are you in a relationship at the moment?

No. Why? What's that got to do with you?

Come on, walk on.

It's a lovely place you have here.

All the animals look happy and contented.

That's because I care about all kinds of defenceless creatures.

And is that how you like your women?

Vulnerable? Needing to be looked after?

Is that what turns you on?

Of course not.

Well, thank you, Mr Tomlin. You've been very helpful.

Our killer is obviously fond of weddings.

Maybe we should go to one.

(woman) Look. Down the road. There. There's the car.

Can you open the door for me, please? Thank you.

Hold it there. Lovely.

So what's your view on Peeping Toms?

They should have their eyes put out

and their nuts nailed to a door.

No, I'd say most voyeurs would rather watch

than cause physical harm.

So I wonder what would make one

actually decide to kill.

I don't know, sir.

Being found out? Being confronted?

Why don't you go and talk to Bernard Flack?

Tell me some more about your friend the publican.

Matt? He's no one's friend.

Except that tart he's married to.

She was Nikki Grafton, owner of an escort service.

Well, that's the polite word for it.

It was an up-and-under knocking shop.

Yeah, a brothel, catering mostly for sadomasochists.

(woman) Has it started?

Come on, girl. I hope she's not late for her own wedding.

(Mendelssohn's Wedding March)

When we busted the house, it was full of all the usual stuff,

whips, butt plugs, bondage kits,

crazy costumes for dressing up.

Madam Fantasy.

- Eh? - It was her working name.

So what was Matt's involvement?

He was assisting the arresting officers,

but no one realised he was having an affair with Nikki.

And he was done for this?

No, he resigned from the force

before they had time to catch up with him.

So he ends up here with Madam Fantasy.

Yeah.

You told the police I went to the pub last night.

- Why shouldn't I? - What else did you tell them?

For goodness' sake.

I heard that when they found Fran's body,

it was covered in rose petals and confetti.

What are you suggesting?

Well, how the hell do you think it looks?

I wish your father were still alive.

Oh, I don't. Poor sod lived in fear of you and you know it.

All your marriages. You couldn't even keep your own one together.

- Go to hell! - I'm already there!

(gentle organ music)

We now know for sure that she was killed outside her home

And probably dismembered there.

And her car?

Used to transport the basket and the body.

There were traces of white silk fibre in the neck wound.

The first victim had the same traces of fibre.

Was Fran Carter sexually assaulted before she was killed?

- No. - And Dianne Price?

The same.

I'd say we're looking at someone

who kills just for the fun of it.

Thank you.

In London, during World War II,

a psychopathic GI serviceman

killed several young women then dressed their bodies up.

When he was arrested, he said that he only did it

because he wanted to look at them after death.

Old murders, George. I read a lot.

Maybe our killer does the same.

Mmm.

- Good night. - Good night, John.

Off to the pub again?

Maybe.

(sighs) Remember why we moved here in the first place?

No.

We needed a sanctuary ourselves.

From all the bad things.

But now it's all coming in on us.

How many people in this village know

you were kicked out of your last job?

I was not kicked out. The odds were stacked against me.

- It was a conspiracy. - How many people know?

No one.

What about the police?

Don't you worry about the police.

- I can deal with them! - Like you deal with everything?

This place is all we've got left. Don't screw it up.

Thanks very much. You OK, Malcolm?

Yes. Thanks.

So, where's, um...

- ...Matt? - He's taking the evening off.

He's not feeling very well. Do you want a top-up?

Uh... no, no.

- I've got to get home. - Oh, that's a shame.

You've got me all to yourself this evening.

(voices on TV)

Mum? Dad?

Mummy?

(gunfire on TV)

Mum? Dad?

(gunfire and explosions on TV)

Over here.

In the house.

(siren wails)

(sighs)

- Why these poor devils? - Can't work it out, sir.

What have they got to do with young brides?

Well, the wedding theme is the same, but why these two?

They're an elderly couple.

There's no breathing space with this maniac.

(Barnaby) Maniac's the word.

We're probably wasting our time

looking for a rational explanation.

(siren wails)

(man whistles Bridal Chorus)

(whistling continues)

(gate squeaks)

(loud whistling)

(whistling continues)

(thudding footsteps)

(siren wails)

Stop! Stop!

David?

What is this? What are you doing?

Nothing to be afraid of, Jo.

Today's a big day.

It's the day of all days.

It's your wedding day.

Please don't hurt me, David.

I'm here to help you on that big day.

No, no, David, please.

Because today...

...you'll be married to God.

You evil bitch!

(woman over radio) Could you repeat your position, please?

Repeat your position.

- Backup, soon as poss! - Shh! Shh!

(thudding)

- (David) She needs to be saved! - Get an ambulance!

- I'm arresting you... - It's OK, Jo. It's OK.

Everything's all right. It's OK. It's OK. It's OK.

- How's it going? - Nearly there.

I'll be with you in a minute.

Sorry to have kept you waiting, Mr Orchard. Things to do.

Is there any coffee going in this place?

Yeah, I'll get you one.

Another one for you, Mr Orchard?

No, thank you.

Apologies for the mess.

I found this in your room.

Would you like to tell me what's inside?

Lipsticks.

Lots of them.

Most of them...

...bright red.

I'd say they came from Dianne Price's cottage.

Am I right?

Mr Orchard, I take it you know what you've done.

- I take it you realise. - Yes.

Then why? Why did you do it? I mean, why did you kill?

You have everything to live for,

a good job, a nice house to live in.

Well, it will be when I've finished working on it.

And you have a loving sweetheart

who just can't wait to get home to you.

Dianne Price...

- Charming girl. - She was.

And not an easy one to teach, so...

Really hadn't the patience for French, and it needs patience.

- You made her a bride. - Yes, I did.

- Why would you want to do that? - Uh...

Well, I suppose to bring things up to date.

To make sure that she was a bride in the eyes of God.

I said, "Dianne, I'm sorry to drop in on you like this."

Sorry to drop in on you like this.

That's OK. Come in.

- It's good to see you. - Cheers.

I had to change the wheel of my car just a few yards away.

Could I possibly use your bathroom?

OK. Look, go on up.

Thank you.

- I'll get you a clean towel. - No, no, please. I can make do.

I insist.

By the way, how's the French going?

Très bien, monsieur.

But she couldn't be a proper bride in the eyes of God

without a wedding gown, now, could she?

Is that what the flowers were about? To make a mockery of her?

- But why did she have to die? - Because she'd sinned.

She was living in sin with a man in this very village.

And that was wrong. It was up to me to put things right.

I would never dream of making love to someone

outside of marriage.

So you've been saving yourself.

Mm-hm.

What about Jo Starling?

Even worse. She was having an affair with a married man.

I was hoping that one day he'd leave his wife for me.

- But it was a lie. - You have to forget him, Jo.

I said, "Jo, you've gotta forget him. You must and..."

And you will.

In time.

So her sinfulness was something else you had to put right.

Yes. It was my duty.

I had to deliver her from all evil.

And as for poor Fran Carter, I think I can guess that one.

She wanted to get married, but to another woman,

and I suppose that was also a sin in your eyes.

Times have changed, Mr Orchard.

And you're a teacher. You should know.

I suppose Fran had no worries

about opening the door to you at night,

even with a murderer in the village,

because you're dear, sweet David, Mr Nice Guy.

How can she possibly be afraid of you?

And so we get to the really weird one,

old Mr and Mrs Merryman.

What harm could they possibly have done?

- They'd also sinned. - They told you this?

Len Merryman did, yeah.

Bring 'em in here, Mr Orchard.

Don't know what we'd do without you.

(cheering on TV)

That son of ours is such a lazy bastard.

But, then, he is a bastard.

Me and Olive never got married, you see. Never got round to it.

So that was something else you had to deal with

in the name of God, well, your version of it.

(gunfire on TV)

Is that you, Malcolm?

A re-creation of a dead bride in the bath and a trunk murder.

Why?

I teach modern history from 1792

to the Age of Enlightenment up until the 1950s.

- And? - Well...

Sensational murder stories of the past

have always appealed to me.

I love the newspaper headlines of the day.

They were so graphic, so detailed.

And all those marvellous crowds

outside the prison gates on execution days.

And what about the killing of the Merrymans?

How does that echo a past murder?

Uh, well, I suppose I couldn't find one to fit,

and, uh, I was a bit pushed for time.

So what made you flip, Mr Orchard?

What was it that pushed you over the edge? What made you kill?

I think I know.

Your fiancée, she's not coming back, is she?

After almost three years of you doing up this place

and still staying celibate, she decided to dump you.

Oh, it's true.

I looked in your study, looked in your bedroom.

I searched through all that junk.

She seems to have stopped writing to you

on a regular basis just over a year ago.

Do you want me to get all those letters, show them to you?

Or shall we just talk about... one letter?

One that arrived...

...a couple of weeks ago.

It was in your bedroom.

South African stamp.

Would you like to read it aloud for us?

All right, then. I'll read it.

It's very brief.

"Dear David, I apologise for all the hurt I must've caused you

during the past year by not writing,

but the truth is I met someone else and I'm now married."

"Hope you are OK and getting on with your life."

"Much love, Louise."

After all this time spent obeying God,

you wanted your reward.

You deserved the church bells

and the flowers and the blushing bride,

and when you couldn't have them,

you decided to punish the sinners.

Did you think you were doing God's work, Mr Orchard?

Did you think you were God?

Get him out of here.

(siren wails)