Original subtitles

(soft orchestra music)

- [Taxi Dispatcher] When you've cropped off,

can you pick up a Mr. McDoe

at 15 Harding Street or court--

(radio whizzing)

- [Taxi Driver] No problem.

(soft orchestra music)

- (gasps) Wow.

(soft orchestra music)

- [Taxi Driver] So, he's worth a few bob then, your uncle.

- Looks like he is, stunning, just beautiful.

- Well, best of luck anyway.

- Thank you.

- Oh-- - Oh, that's all right.

- Oh, it's been a pleasure.

If ever you want a taxi in a hurry,

emergency dash to the airport, escape the rellies,

just let us know.

- (chuckles) All right,

but I think it's gonna be fine, John.

- See you then.

- [Faith] Bye.

- [John] Bye.

- [Miles] Hello there, can I help?

- Oh, I hope so, I'm looking for Rex Masters?

- Oh (chuckles), I don't think he's surfaced yet.

- [Faith] Oh, okay.

- Rex isn't a great early riser, Miles King,

I help out in Rex's garden.

- Pleased to meet you.

I'm Faith Alexander, Rex's niece.

(dramatic orchestra music)

- From Philadelphia with two sons at college?

- That's right, has he mentioned me?

- Yes, he did, you're supposed to be dead.

(dramatic orchestra music)

Rex, what the hell's going on?!

(hand banging loudly)

Rex, wake up you bastard!

(keys jangling)

(inquisitive orchestra music)

(footsteps thudding)

Rex, I'm coming!

- [Faith] Hold on!

- Rex, Rex, are you in here?

(ominous orchestra music)

Rex!

(ominous orchestra music)

Rex?

(door squeaking)

(ominous orchestra music)

Rex, come out, come out wherever you are, Rex!

(ominous orchestra music)

Rex, will you stop playing silly beggars?

(ominous orchestra music)

Rex, where are you?

(footsteps thudding)

(door squeaking)

(doorknob rattling)

You arranged a time?

- 11, we spoke just yesterday.

Excuse me, when you said--

(ominous orchestra music)

- Rex--

(hand tapping)

(ominous orchestra music)

Don't know about you, I could do with a drink.

(footsteps crunching)

(ominous orchestra music)

Can't be every day someone tells you

you're supposed to be dead.

- [Faith] No.

- It was a plane crash, in case you're wondering.

Entire family, wiped out, all of you.

You, your two sons, husband,

I take it they're alive as well, are they?

- They're fine, look,

there must be some kind of mistake.

- Oh no, I think this has all been very deliberate.

(phone beeping)

- But, why?

- Who knows with Rex?

You obviously don't know your uncle that well.

Janet, yeah, got a bit of surprising news for you.

Rex's dead niece has turned up.

- Uh, I'm sorry?

- He's excelled himself this time.

Faith Alexander, Rex's niece who died hideously

in a plane crash a year ago?

- [Janet] Yeah?

- Yeah, she's alive and she's here in Rex's house,

asking where he is.

- Oh my God!

- [Miles] You haven't seen him?

- No.

- You are sure it's her?

- Oh yeah, and why would she lie to us anyway?

- [Eileen] What is he doing?

- Yeah, good question.

- I'm going to have to pop out for a little.

I'll be as quick as I can.

- [Richard] What's happening?

- [Receptionist] Mrs. Petra, you can see

the doctor at 4:30-- - You know Rex told us

his niece and her family died in a plane crash?

Well, she's just turned up on his doorstep,

alive and kicking.

- (chuckles) What's that old rascal up to now?

- Do I look like I'm finding this entertaining?

(phone ringing)

(birds chirping)

- Any sign?

- He's too embarrassed to show his face.

This is more than a bad joke.

(door squeaking)

- Gosh, you must be Faith.

- [Miles] This is Janet, Rex's housekeeper.

- Well, cleaner, really.

You look just like your picture.

Oh, this must be so weird for you.

I mean Rex has got his mischievous side

doesn't he, but-- - Excuse me, my picture?

You said I looked just like my picture?

- Well, yes.

(mellow orchestra music)

It's always had pride of place.

- No one in my family has been in touch with Rex

for 40 years.

How did he get this?

(mellow orchestra music)

And, who's this?

- [Janet] That, well, that's Rex.

(mellow orchestra music)

- Hello?

(footsteps clicking)

Where is he?

- Still no sign.

This is Faith.

Faith, this is Eileen.

She helps Rex out with the cooking.

- We all do our bit or try to.

What's all this about?

- I have no idea, but I really need

to telephone my husband, excuse me.

(Faith shuffling)

- It's definitely her.

- God, this is so weird.

(door squeaking) (dramatic orchestra music)

- Do you know something?

- Why would I know anything?

(dramatic orchestra music)

(birds chirping)

(dramatic orchestra music)

(footsteps tapping)

- He just doesn't want to face us.

- So, you think all that was just for sympathy?

(scoffs) I can't believe it

and I think he would've left a note.

He wouldn't just not be here surely.

- What's going on?

I saw your car.

- Rex has disappeared and his dead niece has turned up.

- Nobody knows where he is, all right.

I'll call you when I hear something, bye.

(phone beeping) (dramatic orchestra music)

(water roaring)

(water sloshing)

- Maybe, he had one too many and nodded off somewhere.

- [Janet] It's a bit early.

- Perhaps, we should call the police.

- [Janet] Oh, hi Faith.

This is Jeremy, my fiance.

- You think we should call the police?

- We're just covering all the options, Faith.

We're not saying that something's happened.

- He can be a bit unpredictable, at times.

- It's probably all for the sake of a grand entrance.

- [Janet] Perhaps I should call?

- [Barnaby] Any mention of Alzheimer's?

- They didn't say anything.

You think he's gone for a wander in his dressing gown?

- Well, it might explain his confusion over nieces

and plane crashes, mightn't it?

- We've made all the usual checks

and there are a few coincidences

and he's quite a wealthy man, I don't know,

seems a bit iffy. (buttons beeping)

- You want to check it out?

- Yeah, I do.

- Okay, off you go, see what you can dig up.

- Yes, sir.

(Barnaby grunting)

- Her husband's in London on business.

They flew over together apparently.

- And, what about Mr. Masters?

Is there any history of mental problems, dementia?

- [Miles] (chuckles) Absolutely not.

- He's as sharp as a knife.

- He knows exactly what he's doing.

- And, we've rung around everyone that we know

and there's no sign of him.

- Any idea why he might have come up with this story

about the plane crash?

- (sighs) He can be a bit of an oddball.

Look, I'm sorry, I really have to be going.

- I have to get back to the surgery as well.

- No problem.

- You'll call me if anything happens?

- Yes, of course.

(footsteps tapping)

- So, what else can you tell me about Mr. Masters?

What's he like?

- He's an old-fashioned charmer really.

Artistic, he was quite a well-known society photographer.

- Wealthy.

- Actually, I think the money's been running a bit low.

At least that's what he's saying.

- We spoke yesterday and he said, "see you tomorrow at 11."

But then, there's this plane crash thing.

- He couldn't have confused it with another one involving

other members of the family?

- There is no one else.

- There was nothing he said when you spoke to him

on the phone, nothing unusual?

He didn't seem odd or out of sorts?

- I don't think so.

I don't know him that well really,

just phone conversations.

I've only been in touch with him

for the last couple of months.

The only thing that seemed a little odd

is he seemed very interested in my health,

that is kind of strange.

I've always been lucky as far as that goes,

but he seems very concerned.

- And then, there's the photos.

I mean, there's more than one.

He's got recent pictures of your whole family in the study.

- Well, as far as I know my Uncle Rex

hasn't been in touch with anyone in my family

for over 40 years.

Not until I got in touch with him a few months ago.

He and my mother fell out before I was born.

There was a big family feud.

- Have you spoken to your mother about this?

- No, she died 10 years ago.

I don't understand any of it.

I was really looking forward to meeting him.

- Have you ever found out what the feud was about?

- It was something that happened when my mother

was living in Midsomer Deverell when she was a teenager,

something between my Uncle Rex

and my mother's best friend at the time.

- Who was-- - Who was the friend?

- She became quite famous, uh, Lucinda Thacker,

Mama Lucy of Ethiopia?

- Lucinda Thacker?

- Yes, that's right, the famous missionary.

- (sighs) I can't believe this.

She was Jeremy's mother.

- Jeremy I met?

- Yeah, my fiance, he's the curator of the Mama Lucy museum.

(phone ringing)

(phone beeping) My goodness.

- Excuse me, sir?

- Are you with them now?

- [Jones] Yes sir.

- I'm afraid your hunch was right.

They've found Rex Master's body.

- [Alan] Leave your name and number,

I'll get back to you.

(phone beeping)

- He's still on voicemail.

- Can I get you anything?

- No, thank you.

What are you gonna do?

You've come all this way.

- (sighs) I don't know.

- Where are you gonna stay?

- I don't know.

Do you think it would be all right if I stayed here?

- Would you want to?

- Oh yes, yes, I would like to very much.

- We'll need you to remain in the area for the time being.

I'm sure it'll be fine if you stay here.

- Where was he found?

- Uh, his body was found in the river.

- The river?

- Below Crofter's Weir.

(Faith breathing out sharply)

(Faith groaning softly)

Are you all right?

- It's nothing, it's just, the water, how awful.

(dramatic ambient music) (water trickling)

(water rippling)

(motorboat engine roaring)

- Yeah, that's it, that's it.

- A lady from the lock-keeper's cottage found him

or rather her dog did.

He was caught up in the branches over there,

abrasions to the head.

- Had a feeling it'd be something like this.

- Well, we don't know whether someone hit him

and he ended up in the water

or he fell in, hit his head on the way down.

I'm hoping that Bullard will shed some light.

- It's a bit of a coincidence,

this all happening as the long lost niece turns up.

And, there's this stuff about the plane crash.

(gate squeaking)

I don't know what to make of her.

She seems genuine.

- And, the husband, he's up in London on business, yes?

- Yeah, they flew over together.

She's still trying to get hold of him.

- Afternoon, sir.

- [PC] Afternoon.

(door clanking)

- You knew Rex Masters then, Mr. Pearce?

- That's right, known him for 50 years, longer.

We both have, this is Amie, my wife.

- Hello there, I'm Tom Barnaby

and this is Ben Jones from Causton CID.

Uh, I understand that

you actually saw Rex Masters yesterday, is that right?

- When Janet phoned, Jack wasn't here,

so I said we hadn't seen him because I didn't know Jack had.

- What time did you actually see Rex Masters?

- About 8:30, we often saw him on his evening stroll.

He loved it down here.

- And, he'd take the same route, would he?

- I woulda said so.

Down past the weir, across the bridge

and back along Studland Lane.

- What's this about the niece turning up?

She's alive and the rest of her family as well?

- [Barnaby] Yes, that's right.

- [Faith] I know this place.

- I thought you'd never been here before.

- When I was young,

my parents put me in boarding school over here.

My mother came and took me out for the day.

She took me to a river.

It looked like this.

- That's Crofter's Weir, it's where Rex's body was found.

(sombre piano music)

(doorbell chiming)

- [Jones] Hello?

- I'll go.

(footsteps clicking)

(phone beeping)

- [Jones] This is Detective Chief Inspector Barnaby.

This is Janet Bailey

who does the housekeeping. - Sorry, I can't take

your call right now, leave me--

(phone beeping) - What happened?

- We don't know yet, but until we find a cause of death

we have to treat it as suspicious.

(dramatic orchestra music)

- This is Faith, Rex's niece from America.

- Hello.

- We'll have to talk to you both in due course,

but, in the meantime, can you tell us,

do you know anywhere where Rex might have left a note?

- Not suicide?

- Well, we have to consider all possibilities.

- (breathes out deeply) I suppose he might've left something

in the study. (footsteps clicking)

But, I can't believe it,

not Rex. (lock clicking)

(dramatic orchestra music)

I was probably the only other person who came in here.

(dramatic orchestra music)

- [Faith] They go back years.

- Uh, as far as Mrs. Alexander knew,

none of her family had been in touch with Rex

for 40 years.

- Not until a few months ago when I first spoke to him.

- Have you got any idea where he got these pictures from?

- He didn't say, I didn't ask.

(mellow orchestra music)

- Now, I want this room

left exactly as it is, okay? (lock clicking)

There's no other keys, are there?

- No.

- Okay, who's his solicitor?

- Er, Jane Benbow in Causton, it's Iver Street.

- Right, you wouldn't happen to know

who inherits, would you?

- Yes, I do, actually.

Um, I was a witness and he told me.

- Well, would you mind telling us?

- Um, (chuckles), well there were a couple

of small bequests, I remember.

I think he left a case of the Crystal champagne

to Jane Benbow, to lighten the load

for being executor and "for having such very pretty legs".

(chuckles) That was very Rex.

- And, the chief beneficiary is?

- Oh, Faith Alexander, his niece.

- I had no idea, I'd never met him.

I swear I had no idea.

- It's okay, fine, fine.

And, when was the will signed?

- It must've been about four years ago.

- Right, now, there is the matter

of the official identification of the body.

- (gulps) I'll do it, if you like.

- I'd like to be there.

(dramatic orchestra music)

(sheet shuffling)

- Thank you.

(dramatic orchestra music)

(door clicking)

(door squeaking)

So, what've we got?

- Cause is definitely drowning.

I'm not sure about the abrasions,

whether they were caused before

or after he entered the water.

My instinct is, before,

oh and he was hit with a smooth tubular shaped object.

- Could it have been an accident?

- [Bullard] Suzanne.

- I'm sure you realise as Rex's solicitor,

I can't divulge the contents of his will.

- Er, of course not, but I spoke to one of the witnesses

and she told me that Faith Alexander,

well, she was going to inherit pretty well everything

and I wondered if you could just confirm that for us.

But, you wouldn't deny it.

- No.

- The will was dated four years ago.

Do you know of any more recent will?

- Well, up until today I would have said no,

but Eileen Carnack got in touch

with me requesting an urgent meeting.

I don't know if you know her.

- She used to cook for Rex.

I've met her, a neighbour of his.

- Yes, that's right.

It's clearly regarding a new version of Rex's will.

In fact, she's due any--

(buzzer buzzing)

moment (chuckles).

- It would be very useful to us

to learn the contents of that will.

- Yes.

- [Receptionist] Your next appointment is here.

- Send Mrs. Carnack in.

(door clicking)

- Oh, I'm sorry, I didn't realise.

- Is that a new will?

- Uh, yes, yes it is.

- Would you mind awfully if I had a look at it?

I'm Detective Chief Inspector Barnaby from Causton CID.

- Oh, of course.

- Thank you.

- It's such a tragedy.

We've all just been so shocked.

- This is dated six months ago,

with you as beneficiary of the entire estate.

- I think he wanted to reward me for the help I've given him

over the years.

Is it most recent version, do you know, by any chance?

- It appears to be.

- I said it was too much, but, um,

generous to a fault, dear Rex.

Well, I'll leave it with you then, shall I?

I don't think there's anything more to discuss.

(door clicking)

- Oh no, Mrs. Carnack, Mrs. Carnack,

Mrs. Carnack, um-- (Janet chattering)

I'd like to ask you if I may--

- Hello, oh, I didn't realise that you were busy.

We could come back later.

- What's that?

- It's um, a letter from Rex,

to be opened in the event of his death.

He gave it to me for safe keeping.

Actually it's a bit embarrassing.

It's a new will.

- [Barnaby] Ah.

(mellow orchestra music)

- It all seems to be in order (sighs),

dated just a couple of months ago.

- With who as the main beneficiary?

- (clears throat) It's me.

He left everything to me.

- Interestingly, both wills have been witnessed

by Mr. and Mrs. Pearce, of Lock-Keepers cottage.

- But, it is definitely valid?

- Oh, yes, unless another one turns up

and on current form,

Rex has been playing a little game with us.

- Irrespective of which will is valid,

anyone who believed that they were

the legitimate beneficiaries of Rex Masters' will,

they would have had good motive to kill him.

I need to ask both of you where you were

between 8:30 and nine yesterday evening, Janet?

- Um, I was at home with Jeremy.

- That's right, we had an evening in.

- Eileen?

- Actually I was at Miles' cottage, briefly.

I went around to pick up some flower pots he'd promised me

and I stayed for a quick drink.

- When did you get there?

- [Eileen] About 8:30.

- And, when did you leave?

- About nine, actually.

(dramatic orchestra music)

(doorbell chiming)

(hand rapping)

- [Faith] Mr. Barnaby, Mr. Jones.

- Mrs. Alexander, we've just come from Rex's solicitors.

And, it turns out that Rex made two more wills

since the one four years ago

which had you as chief beneficiary

and I'm afraid that you're not mentioned in either.

In fact the most recent one,

the one regarded as the legitimate version,

that leaves the entire estate to Janet Bailey.

- Your uncle's cleaning lady housekeeper.

- Yes, I know who she is.

I can't say I'm not disappointed,

but it was my Uncle Rex's decision.

And, I like Janet.

She seems a very deserving person.

(footsteps tapping)

- I understand that you were in London at the time.

Would you mind telling us where exactly in London you were,

between 8:30 and nine?

- I was in my hotel room, asleep, jetlag.

We'd only arrived a few hours earlier.

- Can anyone confirm that?

- My husband.

- Anyone other than your husband?

- Um, people at the hotel, the Burnham in Piccadilly.

- Mrs. Alexander, why after all this time did you decide

to get in touch with your uncle, I mean just now?

- (sighs) I know it must seem a bit of a coincidence.

All I can say is, I don't know,

I was feeling a bit nest-empty.

My sons are away at college.

Somebody mentioned the Lucinda Thacker biography,

which got me thinking about Midsomer,

which got me thinking about family,

which got me thinking about Rex.

I knew that Rex was about 80,

I thought if I was ever going to meet him

I'd better hurry up.

(dramatic orchestra music)

- You're going to be quite a wealthy woman.

(dramatic orchestra music)

Do you still want to marry me?

- Of course I do, what a thing to say.

- Oh yes, we witnessed his signature.

On several occasions,

but he didn't tell us what the documents were.

- They were all wills?

- Seems he changed his mind quite a lot.

- That's one way of putting it.

Another, might be that

he was fraudulently purchasing loyalty.

I loved Rex dearly,

but he could be a complete and utter toe rag.

- Excuse me, this is the Lucinda Tacker biography.

- That's right.

- The famous Mama Lucy.

- Yes, I know who she is.

- Uh, can I have a word, sir?

- (groans softly) Would you excuse us please?

(water rippling)

- Faith told me Lucinda Thacker and her mom

were good friends when she lived in Midsomer Deverell,

before she moved to the States.

She reckoned the reason her mom and Rex fell out

was because of something that happened

between Rex and Lucinda.

- Did she say what?

- Doesn't know, but odds on it's loin-instigated, got to be.

If it involved Rex,

I don't know if it's got anything to do with anything.

- "Loin-instigated"?

Yes, written by Jeremy Thacker, the son.

- He takes his mother very seriously.

She was a truly remarkable woman

in many ways, but beatification?

- Jeremy's trying to drum up support from the local bishop.

- We're all very proud of her, of course,

but it does feel a bit like a veneration too far.

- May I borrow this, thank you.

- She's not quite the humourless do-gooder the book suggests.

She'd have hooted at the idea of sainthood.

- Eileen?

(pan clattering)

- Can you just stop tidying up?

Just leave it.

- They're saying at The Barge

that you turned up at Rex's solicitors today

with a will that had you as beneficiary.

(scoffs) I told them it wasn't true.

- Why shouldn't it be true?

- Well, you'd have told me.

- Why would I have told you?

You have to know everything, do you?

Is that it?

I have to tell you everything that's going on in my life?

- You thought you were inheriting all of Rex's money

and you never mentioned it?

- I gave up a career for you and the children.

Do you have any idea what it's like being beholden

to someone else all the time?

Surviving on handouts?

Do you, do you?

(chuckles) Like hell you do!

- I'm sorry, I had no idea.

(Eileen huffing)

Is it true there was another will that made it invalid?

- Yes it is, so you don't have to worry.

(dramatic orchestra music)

(soft guitar music)

- What are you doing reading the biography

of our local female missionary?

I thought pulp thrillers were more your kind of thing.

- Well, since you ask,

it has to do with a suspicious death we are investigating.

A chap by the name of Rex Masters.

- Oh.

- What do you mean oh, do you know him?

- He's supposed to be the mystery man

who had his wicked way with Lucinda Thacker.

But, you know, some people think

she wasn't as innocent as her son made out in the book.

Not in her teens, anyway, apparently,

she used to run with quite a racy crowd.

- Joyce, oh pretty lady, how do you know all this?

- Causton Book Club reading list, chapter three.

(dramatic orchestra music)

(door knocker rapping)

(door clicking)

- Mr. King. I'm Detective Chief Inspector Barnaby

and you've already met Detective Sergeant Jones,

haven't you, could we have a moment please?

- [Miles] Uh, very well.

(dramatic orchestra music)

- We need to ask you some questions

about the night Rex Masters went missing.

We're trying to establish what everyone's movements

were at the time.

- What do you want to know?

- You were just going out, weren't you?

- Uh, yes, I was.

- And, you were going to see Mrs. Benbow?

- [Miles] Why do you ask?

- If that's a will of Rex Masters' you have there

and if that's dated any earlier than two months ago,

you're wasting your time.

It is, isn't it, may I?

- Wasting my time?

- Thank you, yes, two other Rex Masters' wills

have come to light recently.

Neither, I'm afraid, with you as a beneficiary.

One dated two months ago,

the other six months ago.

Oh, and this one, 12 months ago.

- And, the recent will of two months ago, it's valid?

- Yes, it is.

- Who is it?

Who's the beneficiary?

Is it the niece?

- No, it's Janet Bailey.

(dramatic orchestra music)

- Bastard, bastard!

(footsteps thudding)

(door squeaking)

- You know, she might not want your help anymore.

- I feel I have to offer.

She's on her own in a foreign country.

- Well, don't be too hurt

if she gives you the cold shoulder.

(lips smacking)

Perhaps, you should think of some kind of inventory

of the contents.

(car engine grinding)

I'm just being practical.

(car engine roaring)

- I knew it, I knew it.

What an absolute bloody fool I've been, my God!

Why did I ever believe him?

- Mr. King, may I ask, how long had you known Rex Masters?

- Oh, we went way back.

Supposed to be friends.

All that work I did for him, for nothing, bloody nothing!

- How did the will, the will with you as beneficiary,

how did that come about?

- Oh, he always said he'd provide for me.

- So, you made him put it in writing?

- Why not, he milked it hard enough.

Never had any money to pay me.

"House rich, cash poor, don't you worry, my boy.

"You'll be provided for."

Who wouldn't be worried?

(soft acoustic music)

It's not as if you've got any family

to leave it to, not any more.

- No, I see.

- I've re-landscaped the entire garden out there,

virtually single-handed.

- And, what a wonderful job you've done.

It's a triumph.

Oh, why not?

Who else deserves it more than you?

Organise it, my signature

is at your disposal, hm (chuckles)?

- I should've known.

And, of course, once the will was signed, there were always

some other little things he wanted doing, "My boy".

Like mowing the lawn twice a week, rebuilding the pergola,

endlessly weeding those herbaceous bloody borders.

I can't believe I did all that.

(soft orchestra music)

(water roaring)

Oh, Rex, Rex.

- Mr. King, we're asking everyone this of course,

where were you between 8:30 and nine on the evening

that Rex Masters went missing?

- I was here.

- Can anyone corroborate that?

- Well, yes, Eileen actually.

She came over to collect some flower pots at 8:30,

which was what we had arranged and she had a drink

and then left about nine.

(water roaring in background) (birds chirping)

- [Faith] Janet, thank you for being so great.

- Well, anyway, I just wanted you to hear it from me.

- Hello, hello there.

- Hello.

- I know that house.

I've been here before.

- This is Amie Pearce.

She knew Rex as well as anyone.

Hi, Amie, this is Faith Alexander, Rex's niece.

- Yes.

- We've met before.

- Many years ago, your mother brought you here.

Rex asked me to act as an intermediary,

to try and broker some kind of peace.

But, your mother flatly refused.

She wanted nothing to do with him.

- I don't remember that.

- She told you to go into the garden.

- (gasps) And, I went to the weir.

- [Amie] That's right, we couldn't find you.

(dramatic orchestra music)

- (sighs) There was a man.

(intense orchestra music)

(water roaring in background)

- [Man] Beautiful, isn't it?

- Yes, it is, but frightening too.

- Well, they often go together, for some of us, that is.

You mustn't let the fear win, though.

Never let the fear win, huh (chuckles).

(water roaring)

(intense orchestra music)

(water rippling)

Mrs. Pearce, did you stay in touch with my mother?

- No, I think she rather saw me as being on Rex's side,

which I wasn't.

- Do you know what the feud was about?

I know something happened between Lucinda and Rex.

- It wasn't spoken of.

- (sighs) Wasn't there any gossip?

- Oh, there's invariably gossip,

but I endeavour always to forget the words of idle tongues.

- He was always making out he was hard up.

Always asking favours.

There was always another dinner party

he wanted me to cook for.

(huffs) I never seem to say no, I don't know why.

- I can't withdraw the invitations.

- Doesn't it ever occur to you

that I have other things to do?

You might even offer to pay me.

- I would, of course I would,

but you know how it is.

It's the bloody bank manager.

- And yet, you have all these people to dinner.

- Well, I know, I have no right to ask this of you.

- Why don't you sell a painting or a statue or something?

- I know you don't mean that.

I know you wouldn't want me to sell my babies.

- He said he'd be dead soon.

And, that he'd leave everything to me,

so long as I let him taste my pavlova one more time.

I told him I wanted it in writing.

I want that in writing.

- Of course, of course you do.

And, the lobster, now, they must taste the bisque, hm?

Oh, you know, if I was just a few years younger,

I could close myself in those dark, dark eyes.

- We do the paperwork tomorrow.

- (lips smacks) Of course.

- Can you think of any reason why someone might want

to kill him, any enemies?

- No, there were a few people

who didn't approve of him, his lifestyle.

But, no enemies as far as I'm aware.

- Uh, just one more thing, Mrs. Carnack, if I may?

Close as you are to Rex Masters' place,

did you notice anything unusual

around about the time he disappeared?

- No-- (footsteps thudding)

oh, this is Richard, my husband.

- Oh, Dr. Carnack, I'm Detective Inspector Barnaby

and this is Detective Sergeant Jones.

We were just asking your wife, you know,

whether she'd seen anything unusual

around about the time that Rex Masters disappeared.

- I've explained there was nothing.

- Well, actually, I did see something.

On my way back from the pub,

well, I suppose it was about nine o'clock.

A man sitting in a car outside Rex's house.

- (gasps) Why didn't you mention it before?

- Well, nobody asked me before.

And, I hadn't really thought about it, I suppose.

It was a hatchback, blue, I think.

- Did you recognise him?

- No, he wasn't particularly distinctive.

In his forties, I'd say.

- [Barnaby] Would you recognise him again?

- I doubt it, I didn't get much of a look.

(water roaring)

- It was here.

"Don't let the fear win," that's what he said to me.

That's what Rex said to me 30 years ago right on this spot.

I know it was Rex.

- It sounds like the kind of thing Rex would say.

- Talking to him these last couple of months on the phone.

Getting to know him, we just clicked, you know?

I don't think I've ever clicked with anyone.

(dramatic orchestra music)

Of course, the house is...

I think I let the fear win,

my whole life--

(dramatic orchestra music)

compromise, safety, doing what was expected.

Look at me, jeans and sneakers, hiding.

It's not me, it's not.

I don't think it ever was.

- Well, look I don't know too much

about the philosophical stuff,

but we can do something about the clothes.

(sighs) That suits you.

- Does it?

- He gave me a few dresses, your uncle.

And then, there was the underwear.

- Really?

- He was very naughty.

- In what way?

- Um, he was never very fond of Jeremy.

(inquisitive orchestra music) - Mm, you must promise me

not to wear it for him.

Well, it's wasted on the Godly, only for me.

Only when you're here.

It'll be enough to know you've got it on underneath,

to hear it rustle.

(chuckles) Come here.

- Is there no limit to your depravity, Rex Masters?

- Oh, there's a limit to everything, my dear.

And, the end of it all is galloping towards me

at break neck speed.

Gather ye rosebuds while ye may.

(both chuckling)

Try it on for me, go on!

- And, I'm afraid I did.

(both chuckling)

(inquisitive orchestra music)

(wind howling in background) (dogs barking in background)

(footsteps thudding)

(door squeaking)

(intense orchestra music)

(door banging)

(door squeaking)

(intense orchestra music)

(clubs thudding) (Faith gasping)

(dramatic orchestra music) (knife clanking)

(door clicking)

(police radio chattering)

- She's a bit shaken, but she seems okay.

- When, when did it happen?

- About one a.m.,

apparently she knocked something over upstairs,

the intruder heard it and did a runner.

Looks like they were trying to get into the study.

(bag rustling)

It was on the floor just there.

It's one of the kitchen knives.

You can see the marks where they tried to force it.

There's nothing obviously missing

from the rest of the house.

If it was a burglary for monetary gain

there's plenty of valuable stuff

they could've stolen more easily.

(footsteps thudding)

- Chief Inspector.

(footsteps thudding)

- How you feeling?

- Okay.

- I'm sorry, it must've been very frightening.

- I was terrified actually,

fortunately I think he was as well (chuckles).

He ran away as soon as

he heard me clattering around upstairs.

- So, you didn't see anything?

- No, I'm sorry.

I was about to make some coffee, would you like some?

- Yes please, thank you.

- Okay.

(dramatic orchestra music)

- [Barnaby] Hm.

- Sir.

(lock rattling)

(dramatic orchestra music)

Maybe, whoever it was, was after another will.

He seems to have been pretty keen on them.

- We'd better put an officer on the front door,

in case whoever it was comes back for another try.

It's going to take a long time to look through all this.

- You think it's connected to Rex's death?

- Well, if it isn't Jones, it's a very big coincidence.

I've learned something else about Rex Masters.

In the Mama Lucy biography by the son, Jeremy Thacker.

He says that when his mother was a young woman

back in the early '60s,

she was sexually assaulted by an older man

who abused his position of trust

and that she never really recovered from that.

Apparently, there was much local speculation

as to the identity of this Mr. X,

but it looks like it may well have been Rex Masters.

- So, that's what the feud,

between Rex and his sister was about.

You don't think-- (phone ringing)

Jeremy was trying to avenge

his mother's honour?

- Well, he was taking his time about it if he was, hello?

- [Jane] Mr. Barnaby, this is Jane Benbow.

Hi, um, I've just been going through some of Rex's finances,

and, um, well, I've found something

that I thought you should know about.

- What is it?

- You told me that your family have had no contact

with your Uncle Rex for over forty years, yes?

- Yes.

- Yes, but we've just discovered that your Uncle Rex

was making large regular payments,

amounting to many tens of thousands of pounds,

into an account in Philadelphia,

in your husband, Alan's name.

Now, the first payment was made some 10 years ago

and the last, one year ago.

- Oh my God.

- Were you not aware of this?

- No, no, as far as I know,

my husband has never met Uncle Rex.

He has never had any contact with him at all.

- We'll need to talk to him.

- We'll both need to talk to him.

He arrives in an hour.

(dramatic orchestra music)

♪ But when it's so close to me ♪

♪ As good as it seems ♪

♪ Something that I can't see, whoa, no ♪

(upbeat country music)

- It was Rex Masters, that's absolutely definite.

- So, the man who assaulted your mother

when she was 17 years old was indeed Rex Masters?

- Absolutely, I couldn't name names in the book, obviously.

The lawyers would've had a fit.

But, oh yes, that's who it was.

He got her blind drunk and forced himself on her.

They'd call it date rape now,

back then the shame of it was just too great.

Better for everyone to pretend it hadn't happened.

- Did your mother herself tell you all this?

- As good as, she didn't like to talk about it,

but she never denied it when I asked her.

You know he tried me to get me

to withdraw the book from sale?

- No, I didn't know that.

- Said it was a thinly disguised version of himself,

which of course it was.

Claimed it was libellous which I knew it wasn't.

I got the lawyers to check that out very thoroughly.

I said I'd see him in court.

So, you can see I won't be shedding many tears

for Rex Masters.

- Mr. Thacker, I have to ask you this,

where were you at one a.m. last night?

- At a party in London, given by my agent, why?

- There was a break-in at Stonecroft House

and we have to ask everyone.

- I see.

- We'll need your agent's details for corroboration.

- You can speak to her now if you like.

(phone beeping)

♪ Why did we have to fight ♪

(mellow country music)

♪ Can't somebody help me ♪

♪ I'm payin' for my sins ♪

(car door clicking)

- (sighs) You poor, poor thing, don't you worry now.

Everything will be all right now, I'm here now.

Mm, Alan's here.

- Blue hatchback.

- This is Detective Chief Inspector Barnaby

and Detective Sergeant Jones.

- Hi.

- How do you do?

- (sighs) Terrible thing, terrible thing,

something's different, what new hairdo?

What is it?

- Mr. Alexander, we'd very much like to talk to you about

the large sums of money you received

from Rex Masters over the nine years until last June.

- (huffs) Oh, of course,

I think I know what you're talking about.

It's a little misunderstanding.

(lips smacks) Don't you worry, we can sort it out guys.

- [Faith] I really wanna know

what's been going on as well.

- Money from the account of Rex Masters' over here

to the account of Alan Alexander in Philadelphia.

Several payments there you see,

amounting in total to 160,000 pounds

and I don't know what that is in dollars,

but it's certainly quite a lot.

So, if you could start at the beginning, please?

- Okay, this is not easy for me.

I suppose I first got in touch with Rex,

I guess, 10 years ago,

when Faith started to get her medical problems.

I know we should've had sufficient insurance

and I blame myself.

I knew Rex was well off,

so I phoned him on a long shot in the hope

that he could ease the pain for my dear Faith.

Should I have let her continue to suffer,

I couldn't do that.

- Didn't Rex want to talk to her, to Faith?

- Well, they were women's issues

and I explained that to Rex.

- And, Rex accepted it?

- Actually, he insisted that I didn't tell her

that he was helping.

All he wanted in return was for me

to keep him informed about the family, that was all.

- The photos.

- Oh, you know about them?

Yeah, I sent him photos from time to time.

- Funny, Faith told me she's always been very lucky

with her health.

(car engine whizzing)

- Janet Bailey, isn't it?

- Yes, what's happened?

Is Faith all right?

- She's fine.

- We've been in touch with the local police

in your home town and you've got quite a reputation there.

Several failed businesses, gambling problem--

- Why did Rex stop making payments, Mr. Alexander?

The truth please, this time.

- Okay, right, well,

I was over here on a business trip about a year ago

and I came down to see Rex.

- You met him here in Midsomer?

- Right, he wanted me to tell Faith

that he'd like to talk to her

and I said I would ask her if that would be okay.

- And, you told him that Faith didn't want to talk to him.

Which was a lie, wasn't it?

Because, you hadn't mentioned it to her, had you,

for obvious reasons.

What happened when you told him?

- Well, he turned a bit frosty.

- So, the family are still adopting the moral high ground?

Is that it?

Well, you no longer exist for me anymore.

- Oh Rex-- - No, no, no,

as far as I'm concerned you're all dead.

I never want to see hide nor hair

of any single one of you ever again, now get out!

Go on, get out, out, out, get out pest!

- I guess he must've kind of embroidered it

with the plane crash story.

- So, when Faith decided off her own bat

a couple of months ago, to make her own contact

that must have been very awkward for you?

(Alan sighing)

- Is that why you killed him?

To stop Faith finding out

what you're up to all those years?

- I didn't kill anyone.

- Okay, Mr. Alexander, now,

I want you to think very carefully

before you answer this next question, okay?

Someone saw a man of about your age,

sitting in a blue hatchback

which was parked outside Rex's house

on the evening that he disappeared.

Now, there's a very good chance that this witness

may be able to recognise that person

and give us a positive ID.

So, where were you on the evening you arrived

in this country?

- I was down here.

I'd already spoken to him and persuaded him

not to mention the money.

I just wanted to make double sure.

- [Barnaby] "Double sure".

- [Jones] As in knocking him over the head

and pushing him in the river?

- I did not kill him.

I went to his house and he wasn't there.

- What time was that?

- Around 8:30, I guess I waited until 10.

I had to get back to London.

(Jones shuffling)

What?

- The estimated time of death is sometime after 8:30.

(dramatic orchestra music)

(Alan chuckling)

- All right, I can see

I'm gonna have to tell you.

I think I saw the murderer, it's true.

- And, we're supposed to believe you?

- I am serious, I saw the murderer.

(intense orchestra music)

I'd been sitting, waiting in the car.

It was dark and I was just thinking about giving up

when I saw a figure appear by the front door.

(car window whizzing)

I couldn't work out where it came from.

(intense orchestra music)

And, before I could get out of the car

whoever it was had let themselves in.

I thought it was kinda weird

because they didn't turn on the lights.

(door handle rattling)

(intense orchestra music)

They must've heard me 'cause, suddenly,

a flashlight was in my eyes.

Whoever it was, ran off, out the back door.

(door squeaking) (dramatic orchestra music)

And, I could hear someone

in the back yard knocking stuff over.

(dramatic orchestra music)

- What did you do then?

- What could I do?

I had to get back to London.

I just had to hope that Rex

wouldn't mention anything to Faith when she came down,

I guess he was already dead.

(metal door banging)

(marker squeaking)

- [Jones] Do you think our American friend

really did see an intruder, sir?

- Well, we'll need to talk to the wife won't we?

But, if he did see someone,

it means there's something in that study

that someone wants to get his hands on very badly.

- [Jeremy] The exhibition is on the left

and my mother's house is on the right.

- Okay. - Let's go through.

- Well?

- I'm thinking about it.

- Don't take too long.

(car engine roaring)

(dramatic orchestra music)

(car engine humming)

(car door thudding)

- She's gone for a walk, sir, with her friend Janet Bailey.

- Has she, thanks, thanks very much.

(water roaring)

- [Faith] Everybody says you have to work at marriage.

You have to tough it out.

- Maybe, there really is a reasonable explanation.

- No, I've been hiding the truth from myself for years.

I was just too scared to admit it.

(car engine humming in background)

(hand brake clicking)

(upbeat radio music)

- [Radio DJ] Remember, it's your last chance

to enter our competition of the week

and what a great prize it is, you'll have a chance to win

along with a guest of their choice,

they'll be flying first class to Paris for a weekend

of five-star luxury.

(dramatic orchestra music)

(vinyl flicking)

And, how about that?

No wonder there's so many of you have already entered

and for those of you who haven't,

there will just be this chance--

(dramatic orchestra music)

(rope swishing)

- [Radio DJ] We're gonna give you

just one more time and they are--

(intense orchestra music)

(knife swishing)

(intense orchestra music drowns out radio DJ)

(door clicking)

- [Radio DJ] And, that was your last chance--

(intense orchestra music)

But, the only way of entering it is if you actually

do it by email now because it's too late by phone

and, basically, these days you can enter any way you like.

You can do it by email, by phone or by post.

You're ready if it's on a postcard please--

(intense orchestra music drowns out radio DJ)

(upbeat radio music)

(documents flicking)

(drawer thudding)

- Ah, black and white,

I suppose that makes it erotica rather than porn.

(photographs shuffling)

Very tasteful, a bit of extra curricula photography.

Never realised they had quite such adventurous sex

in those days.

- Oh, that's when it was invented Jones, in the '60s.

Do you know nothing?

- Ah ha, looks like the erotic photo career spanned

several decades, can see what he meant about the legs.

Don't think the Law Society would be too impressed though.

(photographs shuffling)

- (chuckles) Still, they're quite mild aren't they?

- Well, there's always the possibility

that those are just the warm up shots.

- What do you mean?

- Well, if there were other more explicit pictures,

she wouldn't want anyone getting hold of them.

- Mr. Barnaby?

- Um (clears throat).

(envelope rustling)

(police radio chattering in background)

- Where's my husband?

- Well, we're keeping him at the station for the time being.

Mrs. Alexander, did you mention to your husband

at all what happened last night,

I mean about the intruder trying to break into the study?

- No, I didn't.

What did my husband say about the money?

- Well, it seems that your Uncle Rex

was sending those large amounts of money to your husband,

to pay for what he believed were your medical bills.

Quarter of a million dollars over nine years.

- Oh my God, Oh my God, it's official.

My husband is a conman.

- Miss Bailey, we have to ask everyone

where they were at one o'clock last night.

So, I'm asking you, where were you?

- I was at home in bed, Jeremy was in London

at a party given by his agent.

- Oh yes, we know that, we've spoken to him,

confirmed by several other people.

(Janet breathing out)

There's just one thing, on the night of Rex's disappearance,

when you were at home with Jeremy,

are you sure about the timings on that?

I mean you were definitely were there

between 8:30 and nine, were you?

- Yes, why are you asking?

- I just want to make things absolutely clear.

- I was just thinking, sir,

what if Mrs. Alexander made up the whole thing

about someone trying to break into the study last night?

- Why would she do that?

- Maybe, she wanted to get in there herself.

She made a mess of the doorframe

and that's her explanation for it.

- And, why's she trying to get into the study?

- Another will?

- Well, look, Jones, if there is a more recent will

and she is a beneficiary,

it's still a perfectly legal document, isn't it?

Why not wait for us

to find it? (soft radio music)

- Ah, looks more convincing,

she thought it would get us to look through

the study more quickly? (radio DJ chattering)

I'm digging a bit of a hole for myself.

- [Radio DJ] Latest update for the news.

- The simplest explanation is often the right one.

- [Radio DJ] Today's weather is Radio Four's Midsommer area,

today's temperature high and steady about 77 degrees

and a low, this evening, of about 62--

- Right, he's in the middle of unloading his shopping

and got a phone call.

- [Radio DJ] Don't forget, coming up after the news

both traffic, travel--

(dramatic orchestra music)

- [Barnaby] Then, again--

- [Radio DJ] Traffic and travel coming up--

(dramatic orchestra music drowns out radio DJ)

- [Radio DJ] On Radio Four, with Midsomer man--

(dramatic orchestra music drowns out radio DJ)

- Mr. King?

(dramatic orchestra music) (radio DJ chattering)

- Hello, anyone home?

(dramatic orchestra music)

Oh my God!

(intense orchestra music)

Eileen and Miles...

- [Jeremy] Thank you very much

for coming. - Thank you.

- [Jeremy] Good bye.

- You must be so proud.

- Well--

- And, good luck with the beatification.

- [Jeremy] Thank you.

(police sirens blaring in background)

(car engine roaring)

(car tyres screeching)

(ambulance sirens blaring) (police sirens screeching)

- Seems like it was pretty quick for both of them,

and recent, very recent.

The male died first and the female shortly after.

- [Jones] Surely, you'd need a lot of strength

to stab two people.

Could a woman have done it?

- Oh yeah.

- Whoever it was, could have gained access via the gate

to the back lane and left the same way.

No one saw him or her.

Ah, it's two suspects less anyway, what?

(footsteps clicking)

What?

- I suppose she'll be at peace now, as they say.

Not the happiest of people, not recently.

Well, not with me, anyway.

- She did seem a bit, what was that,

depression, emotional problems?

- Oh, time of life stuff, I think.

I suggested HRT once and she came at me with a knife.

I put that particular suggestion on the old back burner.

- Dr. Carnack, have you any idea, any idea at all,

why Eileen went to Miles King's house?

- Yes, I think I do, actually.

Miles rang Eileen yesterday evening

and told her he thought he knew

how Rex's will favouring Janet might be contested.

I think he wanted to get something out of it.

I told her not to get involved.

It rather looks as though well she ignored my advice.

(car engine humming) (gravel crunching)

(birds chirping)

- (sighs) Eileen Carnack and Miles King.

- [Janet] I know.

- [Faith] Who would do such a thing?

(car engine roaring softly) (gravel crunching)

- You heard the news?

- Oh, it's terrible.

- It's awful.

- I'm very glad you're here.

There's something (sighs) I wanted to ask you.

- There's something I wanted to see you about as well.

(footsteps crunching)

- I had a visit yesterday from Miles King.

- At your offices?

- It was all in confidence,

but in the light of what's happened,

I thought I'd better tell you.

(door squeaking)

He seemed to be in a bit of a hurry.

- Is there some kind of legal principle

that bars people from profiting from their crimes?

- There is, yes.

- And, it applies to wills?

- (huffs) Are you suggesting what I think you're suggesting?

- Does the same principle apply to wills and inheritance?

- I don't know if it has any bearing on what's happened,

but I thought you should know.

Uh, what was it you wanted to see me about, Mr. Barnaby?

- Um, I wanted to ask you if you'd ever posed

for Rex Masters?

- Ah, right--

- You did pose for him.

- (sighs) He kept copies of the photos.

And, you're asking me questions you already know

the answer to which means you're establishing

whether I'm a liar, and if I am, whether I'm any good at it.

Does that make me a suspect?

- What sort of pictures were they?

- That's fair enough, I suppose, we're all suspects.

They were a little bit risque.

(photographs shuffling)

And, there they are.

What a surprise. - Mm-hmm.

Excuse me.

(photographs shuffling)

- (chuckles) Rex suggested they might make

a good birthday present for my husband.

He had the habit of, um,

well, bringing out the naughtiness in people.

(soft orchestra music)

- Where are the others?

- What others?

- Well, he wouldn't have taken just three.

- Um, it's a while ago now,

but I don't think he took any more,

certainly nothing more indiscreet.

(soft orchestra music)

- If we believe what Mrs. Benbow is saying

and what Dr. Carnack told us

then it looks like Miles thought that he could prove

that the murderer was the beneficiary of that latest will,

which means I'll have to reassess my take on Janet.

- [Jones] She's been convincing.

- Yes, she has and so has her husband-to-be.

(phone beeping)

- Do you think he provided her with a false alibi?

I suppose he'll do all right out of it when he marries her.

But, he's the son of a missionary, would he really do that?

- (chuckles) Hang on.

(phone line ringing)

(phone ringing)

(Joyce sighing) (phone beeping)

- Hello Joyce it's me, listen,

remember we were talking about Lucinda Thacker's biography

and you said people were saying she used to hang out

with a racy crowd.

- Well, it's only what I heard--

- Yeah, can you remember who she hung out with?

- Well, not really.

I think there might have been mention

of a landscape gardener, was it?

- Landscape gardener.

(dramatic orchestra music) - Was that it?

- Yes, yes, it is.

Thank you Joyce, bye.

(dramatic orchestra music)

- Endlessly weeding those herbaceous bloody borders.

- Could a woman have done it?

- Oh yes.

- [Barnaby] Who is it?

Who's the beneficiary?

- (clears throat) It's me, (chuckles)

he left everything to me.

- [Faith] He ran away as soon as

he heard me clattering around upstairs.

- [Miles] Is there some kind of legal principle

that bars people from profiting from their crimes?

- Miles rang Eileen,

he told her he thought he knew how Rex's will favouring Janet

might be contested.

(dramatic orchestra music)

- There's something I've got to check.

(dramatic orchestra music)

(lock clicking)

(dramatic orchestra music)

(footsteps tapping)

(drawer shuffling)

(dramatic orchestra music)

(photographs shuffling)

- What is it, sir?

(dramatic orchestra music)

- There's someone I need to see.

You keep an eye on things here.

- Mr. Barnaby, I heard about Miles and Eileen.

- Yes, yes, it's terrible.

Janet is through there, she's quite shaken up.

Er, Mr. Thacker, I wonder,

could I ask you to stay here 'til I get back?

I've just got to pop out for a minute.

- Yes, of course.

- That's kind, thank you.

(footsteps clicking)

Lock that door.

(key rattling) - Sir.

(door banging)

(lock clicking)

(dramatic orchestra music)

- Interesting to note that of all these positions

none of them is missionary.

- Hm, you're absolutely sure that is Lucinda Thacker?

- Absolutely, and Miles King.

I'm not sure who the others are.

Here, that's not your bottom, is it Jack?

- No!

- Suddenly, everything is much clearer.

- How do you mean clearer?

- Lucinda never talked about what actually happened.

All she said was she'd drunk too much

and Rex took advantage of her.

We all assumed that he'd forced himself on her

and she did nothing to deny it.

Oh, it's obviously Rex taking the pictures.

- Oh, it's Stonecroft house, that's the kitchen table.

I recognise the pepper grinder.

- (laughs) You can't say she was drunk

and incapable, can you?

- Yeah.

- You know they made up towards the end?

She knew she was dying.

They met one day on the towpath,

a bit accidentally on purpose

from Lucinda's point of view, I think.

- Amiee.

- She must've felt guilty about it all.

Anyway, we watched them, didn't we Jack?

(dramatic orchestra music)

- We did, yeah.

- I think they buried the hatchet.

He never talked about it, but, I think,

that must've been one of the reasons

why he tried to get in touch with his niece,

after Lucinda died.

- And then, that son of hers dragged it all up again

with that book.

(footsteps shuffling)

- You, with me.

- [PC] Sir.

(dramatic orchestra music)

- Miss Janet Bailey,

I am arresting you for the murder of Rex Masters.

- [Faith] Oh no.

- You do not have to say anything,

but it may harm your defence if you do not mention

when questioned something which you later rely on in court.

Anything you do say may be given in evidence.

- What are you talking about?

- Do you understand?

- I didn't kill Rex!

- She can't have done, she was with me.

- And, I should be very careful about what you say too, sir,

if I were you.

False alibi, we're talking about a possible conspiracy here,

perverting the course of justice.

Because, it was a lie, wasn't it, your alibi?

- Don't say anything, we'll get a solicitor.

- What's it? - Janet!

- I'm sorry (sobs).

(footsteps clicking)

But, I didn't kill Rex.

- Didn't you?

- I was scared.

When I realised that I was the only beneficiary

of Rex's will, I started worrying

that I would be the main suspect,

especially as I didn't have an alibi.

I was alone at home.

How could I prove that?

But, I did not kill Rex.

- Hm, yes, you thought Jeremy was doing you a favour,

didn't you, giving you an alibi.

It didn't occur to you that he was getting himself

one at the same time, did it?

- I was at home with Jeremy.

- That's right, we had an evening in.

- It was Jeremy who suggested

that you needed an alibi, wasn't it?

- You're not accusing Jeremy of murdering Rex?

You said that the person who broke into Rex's study

that night was the murderer, well, Jeremy was in London,

so it couldn't have been him.

- Well, I was wrong.

The person who was trying to break into the study

the night Rex died was indeed the murderer,

but I believe the person

who broke in the night Faith was here,

that was Miles King and he was trying to find the same thing

that Jeremy was trying to find,

a set of very interesting photographs.

See, Miles believed that Jeremy had killed Rex

and he thought that if he could prove

that you had given him a false alibi,

he could make that will, the one which had you

as the chief beneficiary null and void.

See, there's a convention in English law,

not allowed to profit from your crimes.

Now, either he was doing that

or he was trying to blackmail Jeremy with the photographs.

I'm not sure about his exact plans.

- But, we were-- - What were your

exact plans, Mr. Thacker?

- What photographs, you keep talking about photographs.

- Don't, don't-- (Janet yelping)

- You know what these photos are, don't you, Mr. Thacker?

Well, of course you do.

Because, Rex showed them to you, didn't he?

And, you were so appalled at their contents,

so afraid of how they would destroy your mother's reputation

that you were quite prepared to murder to keep them away

from the press from the tabloids.

'Cause that's what Rex threatened to do, wasn't it?

Unless, you withdrew the biography from the sale.

(photograph rustling)

See, see that very naked lady there?

That is the teenage Lucinda Thacker, Jeremy's mother,

and the young man on top of her, enjoying her,

that's Miles King.

- He drugged her, she would never have done such things.

- You killed Rex?

You killed him.

- He was vermin, decadent, debauched vermin.

Why could you never see that?

He was nothing compared to mother, of course I killed him.

- God! (Jeremy shuffling)

- He called it a light orgy.

- You are pathetic.

(footsteps clicking)

(dramatic orchestra music)

- Mr. Thacker, Mr. Thacker,

Mr. Thacker, what did Rex say about your mother?

- It was lies (gulps), all lies, all of it.

(water roaring)

- My dear boy, all I did was encourage your mother

to enjoy her full sensual potential.

- Shut up.

- We'd had a wonderful carefree evening

and a small group of us ended up in bed together.

- Stop it!

- Well, what's wrong with that?

And, naturally, I took a few happy snaps for posterity

when she woke up the next morning.

She simply couldn't accept what she'd been capable of.

I suppose I'd released the animal within

and she couldn't bear the freedom.

So, she spread some terrible lies about me,

but I'm not going to put up with this any longer.

I'm not prepared to be the pariah

just to keep the hypocrites feeling happily self-righteous.

So, you can take your dreary book off the shelves.

(dramatic orchestra music)

(Rex whimpering)

- I want those negatives.

- Are you trying to frighten me off?

It won't stop the truth coming out.

Think of all the other people in the piccies, huh, (laughs)?

(flesh thudding) (Rex yelping)

(dramatic orchestra music)

(Jeremy groaning)

(water splashing)

(dramatic orchestra music)

(sombre orchestra music)

- And, Miles King, he had to die as well

because you couldn't risk him revealing the secret.

- They were of no value to humanity.

They were nothing.

- Eileen?

(bright digital music) (radio DJ chattering)

- Collateral damage?

(Jeremy scoffing)

(intense orchestra music)

- [Eileen] Miles?

(footsteps tapping)

(knife swishing)

(dramatic orchestra music)

(Eileen yelping)

(intense orchestra music)

(soft orchestra music)

- At least you didn't marry him, I married Alan.

- What are you gonna do?

- (sighs) Victimhood is a state of mind, I think a whole

new future beckons. (ring clanking)

What do you think?

(ring clanking)

(birds chirping in background)

(metal door clinking) (lock clicking)

(footsteps tapping)

(metal door banging)

- [Alan] Mr. Barnaby, Chief Inspector, is that you?

- Mr. Alexander--

- [Alan] Yes.

(door thudding)

- Your wife would like to see you before she sets off.

(mellow orchestra music)

- The one thing I don't understand

is how Uncle Rex was going to explain my turning up,

alive and well, after everything he'd said.

- (chuckles) I don't think he'd have been too bothered.

He'd have denied that he'd ever said anything,

or claimed it had been a huge misunderstanding,

and if anyone persisted,

he'd have made them feel very small and boring.

Rex never believed that the truth should get in the way

of a good story.

He wanted life to be entertaining and dramatic,

even if it wasn't, he'd make it that way.

(car brakes squeaking)

- [Faith] Where's Mr. Barnaby?

(footsteps crunching)

- How's it been?

- Eventful, this is my new friend, Janet.

- Please to meet you.

- Hello (chuckles) and you look great.

Ha, it obviously agrees with you over here.

- Well, yes and no.

(Janet and Faith chuckling)

(car engine humming) Here he is.

(car door banging)

- What's happened?

Where are you going?

- We don't know yet.

- I've decided to share the proceeds of the will with Faith.

And, the first thing that we're gonna do

is go on a long holiday.

- While we're away,

I'll have my lawyers instigate divorce proceedings.

- Your lawyer?

- I don't wanna have anything

to do with you ever again, it's over.

Heathrow airport, John.

- [John] Absolutely.

- [Faith] We'll take it from there.

- [John] No probs.

(car door banging) (hand rapping)

(car engine revving) (car window whizzing)

- Can we just talk about this?

I think you're being impulsive, Faith, you know you do that.

Come on now, let's just think

this through, huh? - This worked out really well.

Because, if I had inherited,

you probably would've gotten half.

Now, while we're out meeting guys

and generally living the high life,

I'll have the pleasure of knowing

that you won't get a red cent.

Let's go John!

- Yes, mam.

(car window whizzing)

(happy orchestra music)

- Bye Mr. Barnaby.

- [Janet] Bye!

(happy orchestra music)

- We'll be going now as well.

(happy orchestra music)

- I think Miss Bailey and Mrs. Alexander

are gonna have a pretty good time.

- What, in a loin-instigated sort of a way?

- I hope so.

- [Barnaby] (chuckles) Certainly on the cards.

(car engine humming)

(inquisitive orchestra music)