Original subtitles

Gomer Pyle - USMC.

Starring Jim Nabors as Gomer Pyle.

Also starring Frank Sutton as Sergeant Carter.

They blow this inspection, I'll kill 'em, I'll kill 'em!

Keep your eye out.

Come on, Slater! Get those ammunition boxes straightened out!

That top blanket there, right there! Fold it!

Don't make so much dust, Pyle!

Inspection party, just leavin' the barracks, heading this way.

Do you call that sweeping? There's an inch of dust under there!

All right, secure from up there!

Hey, Duke, help me move this, would you?

All right, here they come.

You guys, line up, right over here.

Hey, Duke, just a second more.

Good morning, sir.

Company "B" supply room ready for inspection, sir.

Attention!

I was movin' it to clean under it,

and I kind of lost my purchase on it.

See you a minute, Sergeant?

What kind of a careless, inefficient Marine is that, Sergeant?

Well, sir...

Is that an example of the kind of training he gets from you?

Sir, I... As you were.

Take care of that, Sergeant.

Aye, aye, sir.

Oh, forget it, Vince. Just an accident. They happen.

But why always to me?

Why me?

16 years I put in, right?

So here I am, a platoon sergeant.

Three up, two down, right?

Big deal.

This gives me the privilege

of being stuck, night and day,

with them left-footed, birdbrained foul-ups!

And what do I get out of it?

Nothin' but aggravation!

Vince, it ain't that bad!

What's to be my future?

Another 16 years of more aggravation, more knuckleheads?

I-Is this to be my destiny,

life among the savages?

Look, Vince, it didn't really bother the Captain.

No?

You didn't hear him chew me out!

And why should it bother him, huh?

He doesn't have to spend night and day with them clowns!

He doesn't have to take the rap for their foul-ups!

Not him! No!

All he has to do is say, "Take care of it, Sergeant!

"Take care of it, Sergeant."

And then he cuts out!

This doesn't mean anything to him! He's an officer!

That's the life, Nick.

All right.

So why don't you become an officer?

Here it is, for the bulletin board.

"Aptitude tests will be given Tuesday at 0800.

"Open to all enlisted personnel

"interested in applying for the Officers' Training Program."

You mean, you would?

Why not?

Vince...

I've put in my time. I've done my bit.

Let some other guy with the stripes take the beating!

I'll be the officer.

I'll be the one who only has to say,

"Take care of it, Sergeant." Yeah, yeah.

Sarge, listen. Now, bein' an officer ain't all that easy.

I... I mean, it's a whole different life...

Yeah, I should have done this years ago!

I'll get that bar on my shoulder,

the passport to a better life.

Then I can mingle amongst gentlemen, civilized human beings,

instead of that bunch of cockeyed clowns out there.

It'll be a relief just to be with people who can talk English good.

Sir, real trouble.

Private Morgan is AWOL,

Piersackey smashed up his jeep,

Schmidt is in jail for fighting with a sailor,

Slater blew up the arsenal,

and Gomer Pyle accidentally set fire to the mess hall.

Well, take care of it, Sergeant.

Aye, aye, sir.

Hmm? Oh.

If you want me, I'll be over signing up for that exam

for the Officer Training Program.

You sure you wanna go through with it?

But I just got to go in there and tell the Sergeant

how sorry I am I messed up his inspection.

Bad, bad idea.

Better you stay away and let him forget it.

You go in there now, he'll bite your head off

and chew up the rest of you, too.

Not the Sergeant. He ain't the type to be mean about it.

He's much too fine a man.

Gomer, believe me, he'll take one look...

Say, Sergeant, I just came by

to tell you how truly sorry I am about what happened.

Don't you give it a thought, Pyle.

Not a thought, it means nothing at all.

See?

I told you he wouldn't be mad at all.

Just like I said, he's a fine man,

just about the finest there is.

Somethin' important?

Notice for Officers' Training, they're holding interviews.

Yeah? Yeah. Guess who's gonna take the test?

You? Nope. Sergeant Carter.

He ain't!

Well, did you ever in all your put-togethers?

Sergeant Carter's gonna get to be a lieutenant?

That's right.

Well, that means he'll be goin' to officers' school,

and we won't be seein' him no more.

Yeah. Isn't that sad?

I just can't imagine things around here without Sergeant Carter.

Why, he's been with us straight through boot camp.

Of course, I do wish him the best.

For heck's sake, though, I'd sure hate to see him go.

He's such a fine man, I'd like to continue to serve with him.

Well, you can.

Why don't you apply for the Officer Training Program?

Huh? Take the test then you can be together again.

You think I ought to?

Why not? You too can be an officer, Gomer.

But could a... Could a private take this test?

Take it? You not only can take it, it's your duty.

Where else are they gonna find the future leaders of the Corps

if not among men like us?

And besides, you'll get to stay with your buddy.

By your leave, sir.

No, I mean it. Gomer, an officer?

You mean, he's takin' the test for real?

I was there when he was askin' about it.

But I didn't think he was serious.

Ten-hut!

Who are we at attention for?

Lieutenant Pyle.

Huh?

You're gonna become a lieutenant, aren't you, sir?

Aw, come on, Duke. All I done was...

What are we standing around for?

Let's make the Lieutenant comfortable!

Come over here, sir. Pillow, pillow, pillow!

Have a seat, sir. Right here.

Let me get those shoes, Lieutenant.

Spot of dust there, sir.

Shall I get your jeep, drive you to the Officers' Club, sir?

Yes, yes! His bars! His bars!

Get the lieutenant his bars!

And salute!

Oh, come on, Duke.

Relax, Sarge, take it easy.

I'm relaxed, I'm perfectly relaxed.

It's only an aptitude test, no military stuff, just general.

100 true and false questions. Yeah, yeah.

You know, Benson told me the trick is

you gotta put down the first answer that comes to your head.

That's usually right, and don't stew on 'em too long.

Oh, yeah, and you gotta be relaxed.

How many times do I have to tell you, I'm relaxed, I'm relaxed!

All right, all right. I'll see you later.

Hey, Sergeant!

What are you doing here?

I'm plannin' on takin' that there test.

That test?

To become an officer in the Marines?

The United States Marines?

I'm not steppin' out of line, am I, Sergeant?

No, no, not at all.

You feel yourself officer material,

well, you just go right ahead.

How long have you been in the Marines, Pyle?

Almost six months.

Oh, six months.

Well, you should have no trouble at all.

I sure wish I was as calm as you are.

I don't expect I know too many of the answers.

So I guess I'll do mostly hunchin'.

Hunching?

Uh-huh.

See, what I do when I don't know somethin',

is I slap these two fingers down real hard.

Now, if the pointin' finger tingles most,

I put down "true."

And if the long finger tingles most, I put down "false."

Works real good sometimes.

Pyle, will you tell me one thing? Just one thing?

Why are you doing this?

Why do you wanna become an officer?

Well... kind of a personal reason.

Oh.

Well, what's takin' so long? Make sure the phone's working.

Hello. Corporal Cuccinelli speaking, sir.

Yeah. Yeah. Right.

Uh-huh. Right. What?

Oh, okay. Let's have 'em.

Well, what, what, what? Shh!

Yeah.

Yeah. Right.

What?

Oh, okay. Yeah.

Thanks.

Well, well?

Well, they're takin' the top 10 men, Sarge.

Yeah, so, who are the top 10 men? Who? Who...

Four from Whipple's outfit made it.

Yeah, yeah.

Two from Sergeant Zilefsky's platoon.

Yeah, yeah, that's six.

Three from Company "C."

That's nine. That means I was...

I didn't.

No, Sarge. You're eleventh on the list.

I'm sorry.

But look, most of those guys that made it,

they're college boys.

Yeah.

Well, uh, who was that tenth guy?

The guy that just aced me out, you know who it was?

Hey, Sarge! I just heard!

I made it, I made it!

Barely by the hair on my chin,

but I did do good enough to pass.

I was number 10.

How'd you do? Where'd you come in?

Carter placed 11th. That means he's out.

You mean, Gomer passed and the Sergeant didn't?

Now, lay off that "Gomer" stuff.

He's practically "Officer Candidate Pyle,"

and officer candidates are treated just like officers.

You know that?

You're kiddin'.

You mean we gotta call Gomer "sir"? That's right.

All right, break it up.

We got a little work detail, here.

You three, pick and shovel. Tidy up the obstacle course.

You three, rakes. Police the area.

Slater and Gottschalk, recreation hut, swab the decks.

That's it. Make it good.

Excuse me, Sergeant, what do I do?

All men passing the aptitude test

have been relieved of duty status...

sir.

Sir?

Sir.

Shazam!

Since you're on your way to becoming an officer,

you will have no more work assignments.

The rest of you knuckleheads, scramble!

But, Sergeant, I'll be glad to grab a pick...

Sorry, regulations.

Now, if you care to come around the duty office around 1430,

we can tell you what time you have your appointment before the interview board.

Man, you're a lucky stiff, Gome.

Oh, come on, Sarge.

They'll be havin' more of those officer selection tests again next year.

You'll make it easy then.

If I live that long.

I still can't figure out how Pyle made it.

That's the one bright side to the whole thing.

I might be stuck for a whole year with the rest of those clowns,

but at least he'll be out of my hair.

I was supposed to drop by and...

Your interview is scheduled for 1500.

That's in half an hour, sir.

You know, Sergeant,

when I first found out that I was goin'

to officer school and you wasn't,

well, I didn't like that idea one little bit.

See, I'd always counted on soldiering with you a little longer.

I never figured that this would backfire

and split us up instead.

Well, that's the way it is.

It really bothered me, Sergeant,

but it don't no more.

Good, good.

On account of it don't have to split us up at all, not one little bit!

It don't? Not the way I'm gonna arrange it.

When I get to be an officer, I'm gonna fix it

where I get assigned right here at this base.

That way, we'd be together again in the very same group.

But you can't always choose where you're sent.

The Corps sends officers where they're needed most,

and in that case, you wouldn't be sent back here.

I thought about that, too, Sergeant.

If that happens, I'll make a request for you,

and have you transferred to me.

So you don't worry none.

You're to have me transferred to where you are?

Officers can do that.

So you see, everything's gonna be just fine.

We'll be together, same as always.

Only one teeny, little difference,

I'd be your superior officer.

But that don't really make no nevermind.

It'll be perfect. What with me bein' your superior officer,

we'll be workin' closer together than we ever did before.

Just like that, you and me.

The Sergeant and his superior officer.

Please! No more.

Well...

I just...

thought I'd give you the good news.

Well,

I guess I'd better be gettin' on to the interview.

Is there somethin' ailin' the Sergeant?

Yeah, well, you ought to be able to figure that one out, sir.

I'm afraid I don't follow you.

Yeah, well, I'll give it to you straight.

Think how you'd feel if you put in 16 years, Korea, everything,

and on your first try for Officers' Training

you get beaten out by a private practically right out of boot camp.

Golly, I never figured...

Sure, sure, and if you hadn't taken the test,

instead of being eleventh, Carter would have been tenth.

And he'd have been on his way

to Officers' Trainin' instead of me.

Well, I never, for one minute, wanted to get in his way.

Not Sergeant Carter, not after all he's done for me.

Yeah, well, it's too late now. So forget it.

You better be gettin' on over to your interview, sir.

Private Gomer Pyle reportin' as ordered, sir.

At ease, Pyle.

Pyle, would you tell the board

why you wish to become an officer?

Sir?

Would you tell the board why you wish to become an officer?

Yes, sir, as a matter of fact,

that is somethin' I'd like to talk to you about.

First off, Colonel, sir,

I wanted to tell you gentlemen that I was just tickled pink

that you'd give me this chance.

But don't you think it'd be a sight better

if you give it to somebody with 16 years,

with Korea and everything

and two up and three down?

I... I mean, three up and two down.

Uh, Private, you're not making yourself very clear.

Sir, I was talkin' about Sergeant Carter.

Well, what does Sergeant Carter have to do with this?

Oh, just about everything.

The reason that I was goin' to officer school

was on account of he was gonna go, too.

Pyle, are you or are you not

interested in becoming an officer?

Sir, I think that the Colonel would like the best man for the job.

And since the Sergeant taught me everything that I know,

I think it'd be better if you took the teacher instead of the pupil.

So, if it ain't against regulations,

I'm gonna step down and let the Sergeant go instead of me.

Why, with all he knows, he'd probably start right out as a colonel

with no trouble at all.

I'm sorry, Colonel. I didn't mean it like that.

What I'm tryin' to say is that I've got my work cut out for me here,

and the Sergeant, he's deservin' of bein' an officer.

And I'm sure he'd be one you could be real proud of.

Then you're withdrawing your name?

Yes, sir. I guess that's what I'm doin'.

Come on, pick it up, pick it up!

Everything that ain't growing!

I don't wanna see anything

but grass and gravel when you're finished!

Now, get with it!

Look at 'em, huh? Look at 'em!

They foul up, who gets chewed out for it, huh?

Sergeant Carter. What does that mean to them?

Do they care what happens to me?

I miss out on that officer's thing,

it's just a big laugh to them!

I don't know... Oh, come on, Nick!

They're just lookin' out for number one!

They don't care about me. I'm just a nothing,

another sergeant they gotta put up with, part of the scenery.

Sergeant Carter?

You're to report to the Officer Selection Board

for an interview immediately.

The Officer Selection Board?

There must be some mistake. I didn't place in the first...

No mistake, Sergeant.

The Colonel sent me for you personally.

Hey, Vince! Looks like you made it!

Hey guys, Sergeant's goin' to the officers' school after all!

Well, we'd better get started, Sergeant.

Hey, don't go yet! I'll be right back!

But I... I don't get it.

Are you sure that he meant for me?

Positive. Let's go.

Sure gonna hate to see you go, Sarge.

Well, yeah, you take over, huh, Nick?

Okay.

You'll need a tie, Sarge.

Thanks, Thomas. Hold it! Hold it!

Sarge, when we, uh, heard you were takin' the aptitude test,

well, we went out, and we got you somethin'.

We didn't give it to you before because...

Anyway, we're glad we can give it to you now.

Your lieutenant bars, Lieutenant.

Fellas...

Thanks.

It looks like you got what you wanted, Vince,

passport to a new life, away from the knuckleheads.

Crazy guys.

What'd they want to get me these for?

Good luck, Sarge, good luck!

Sergeant Carter reporting as ordered, sir.

At ease.

Well, Carter, we've had some pretty glowing

recommendations about you.

Beg your pardon, sir?

Private Pyle withdrew his name.

That moves you up to the number ten spot,

making you eligible for officer training.

He withdrew his name?

And if you make half the officer he said you would,

you'll have my job in three months.

Does the Colonel mean to say

that Pyle stepped down so that I...

Would you tell the board why you wish to become an officer?

Well, sir, I'm... I'm not sure I can.

I mean, I don't think I'm ready to be an officer.

That is, I'm ready, but not yet.

You see, sir, I have this platoon

I've trained since they were recruits,

and we're sort of a team,

and they're still a little rough.

Don't get me wrong, sir. They're good. They're real good.

But I'd like to personally see 'em through the rest of their training.

The platoon and me,

we kind of understand each other.

Hey, Pyle!

Hey, Sarge. What happened?

Oh, they had some special assignment

they wanted a good platoon to work on, so I said we'd do it.

You mean you're stayin'? You ain't goin'...

You mean that officer thing?

Oh, there's no time for that. Maybe next year. No hurry.

You know, I feel the same way.

There ain't no hurry. Maybe next year.

Yeah. You goin' back to the barracks?

What's going on?

Sergeant, we'd like for you to settle an argument for us.

How do you spell "separate"?

S-E-P-E-R or A-R?

What are you bothering me for?

Look it up in the dictionary!

But you know, though, don't you? Huh?

E-R or A-R?

A-R.

A-R?

Absolutely. Here it is.

Sarge is right. It's A-R.

Golly, Sergeant, you're always right.

How do you know so many things?

It's my job, Pyle.

It's my job.