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1
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Gomer Pyle - USMC.
2
00:00:12,596 --> 00:00:15,330
Starring Jim Nabors
as Gomer Pyle.
3
00:00:17,301 --> 00:00:20,635
Also starring Frank
Sutton as Sergeant Carter.
4
00:00:50,500 --> 00:00:52,100
Is it somethin' I said?
5
00:00:52,169 --> 00:00:54,570
Of all the rotten breaks.
6
00:00:54,638 --> 00:00:57,673
Of all the mean,
nasty, rotten breaks.
7
00:00:57,741 --> 00:00:59,240
What happened?
8
00:00:59,810 --> 00:01:02,010
What happened?
9
00:01:02,079 --> 00:01:05,380
I've been waitin' a
whole week for this date.
10
00:01:05,449 --> 00:01:08,850
One whole week, I've been
pointin' to this particular date,
11
00:01:08,919 --> 00:01:11,319
with this particular
girl, and what happens?
12
00:01:11,388 --> 00:01:13,922
I pull Sergeant of the Guard,
and I get stuck on the base,
13
00:01:13,991 --> 00:01:15,290
that's what happened!
14
00:01:15,358 --> 00:01:16,753
What are you gettin'
so shook up about?
15
00:01:16,777 --> 00:01:19,043
You caught last-minute
duty before and got stuck.
16
00:01:19,112 --> 00:01:22,681
This is different. This girl is
different. This ain't no ordinary date!
17
00:01:22,750 --> 00:01:24,616
This could be the
one, Miss Right.
18
00:01:24,685 --> 00:01:26,184
No kiddin', Vince.
19
00:01:26,253 --> 00:01:28,231
No kiddin'. What do you
think I'm so sore about?
20
00:01:28,255 --> 00:01:30,205
I'll be darned. She
really flipped you, huh?
21
00:01:30,273 --> 00:01:31,974
I gave her my tie clip.
22
00:01:32,042 --> 00:01:33,809
Who is it?
23
00:01:33,877 --> 00:01:36,094
Geraldine Turk.
You don't know her.
24
00:01:36,147 --> 00:01:38,891
Geraldine Turk? Hey, is that
the one that had the nose job?
25
00:01:38,915 --> 00:01:40,115
No!
26
00:01:40,184 --> 00:01:42,400
I told you, you don't know her.
27
00:01:42,469 --> 00:01:44,902
I met her at a party.
28
00:01:44,971 --> 00:01:46,421
Oh, is she beautiful.
29
00:01:46,490 --> 00:01:48,506
She's so beautiful.
30
00:01:48,576 --> 00:01:51,592
Not like some of the
bow-wows you go out with.
31
00:01:51,661 --> 00:01:53,328
And she flipped for you, too?
32
00:01:53,396 --> 00:01:55,046
Well, I had to work on it.
33
00:01:55,115 --> 00:01:59,050
I worked hard. There were
a lot of guys buzzin' around,
34
00:01:59,119 --> 00:02:01,819
but I sweet-talked
her all evening.
35
00:02:01,889 --> 00:02:03,621
That's what did it.
36
00:02:05,409 --> 00:02:07,442
She's so pretty.
37
00:02:07,511 --> 00:02:09,711
Sarge, I think you're in love.
38
00:02:10,747 --> 00:02:12,431
Hey, if I was you,
39
00:02:12,499 --> 00:02:15,333
I'd get a bodyguard to watch over
this girl when you're not around.
40
00:02:15,402 --> 00:02:18,682
Well, it's just that
she's the first girl that I...
41
00:02:20,273 --> 00:02:21,740
Hey, you know what?
42
00:02:22,743 --> 00:02:24,976
You just said somethin'. Huh?
43
00:02:25,045 --> 00:02:29,213
A bodyguard, but
not a real bodyguard.
44
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Why don't I get one of my guys
to take her out for the evening?
45
00:02:32,686 --> 00:02:34,680
You know, protect
her from the wolves?
46
00:02:34,704 --> 00:02:36,688
Why? Don't you trust her?
47
00:02:37,440 --> 00:02:39,474
It's just that...
48
00:02:39,542 --> 00:02:42,322
Well, I sweet-talked her and took
her away from a master sergeant.
49
00:02:42,346 --> 00:02:44,357
What's to prevent some
guy from coming along
50
00:02:44,381 --> 00:02:45,591
and doin' the same thing to me?
51
00:02:45,615 --> 00:02:47,382
Yeah, yeah, but
who could you send?
52
00:02:47,450 --> 00:02:50,218
I mean, uh, who could you trust?
53
00:02:50,287 --> 00:02:52,287
Well, it'd have to be
54
00:02:52,356 --> 00:02:54,600
a guy in the platoon
who ain't too handsome.
55
00:02:54,624 --> 00:02:56,057
Right.
56
00:02:56,126 --> 00:02:58,404
And it should be a guy
who's not a fast-talker.
57
00:02:58,428 --> 00:03:01,396
In fact, he should be
a little on the slow side.
58
00:03:01,464 --> 00:03:02,830
Not an idiot exactly,
59
00:03:02,900 --> 00:03:06,485
but a nice,
harmless, dumb cluck.
60
00:03:06,553 --> 00:03:08,448
You wanted to see me, Sergeant?
61
00:03:08,472 --> 00:03:10,272
Yeah, Pyle, uh,
62
00:03:10,341 --> 00:03:12,385
do you plan on going into
town today on your liberty?
63
00:03:12,409 --> 00:03:14,743
As a matter of fact, I was.
64
00:03:14,811 --> 00:03:16,578
You got any special plans?
65
00:03:16,646 --> 00:03:18,046
Nothin' special.
66
00:03:18,114 --> 00:03:20,448
Hey, do you wanna
make a day of it together?
67
00:03:20,517 --> 00:03:22,428
We could go over
to the aquarium.
68
00:03:22,452 --> 00:03:24,786
They got one of them
piranha fishes over there.
69
00:03:24,855 --> 00:03:26,465
It ain't no bigger
than your hand,
70
00:03:26,489 --> 00:03:29,508
and they say it can eat up a
human bein' in five minutes.
71
00:03:29,576 --> 00:03:30,775
No, Pyle.
72
00:03:30,844 --> 00:03:32,154
Wouldn't you like to see a fish
73
00:03:32,178 --> 00:03:34,546
that could eat up a human
bein' in five minutes?
74
00:03:34,615 --> 00:03:37,749
Golly. What do we need a
fish like that for, anyhow?
75
00:03:37,818 --> 00:03:39,763
Pyle, the fact is I can't go in,
76
00:03:39,787 --> 00:03:42,565
I've got guard duty, but I
want you to do me a favor.
77
00:03:42,589 --> 00:03:44,567
I'd be glad to,
Sergeant. Coffee?
78
00:03:44,591 --> 00:03:46,892
Thank you, but no, thank you.
79
00:03:46,960 --> 00:03:50,244
Well, Pyle, I had
a date with this girl,
80
00:03:50,313 --> 00:03:51,613
the girl.
81
00:03:51,681 --> 00:03:55,150
And I didn't wanna disappoint
her, so I was wondering if...
82
00:03:55,219 --> 00:03:57,852
Well, if you wouldn't
mind takin' her out for me?
83
00:03:57,921 --> 00:03:59,220
Well, I don't know.
84
00:03:59,289 --> 00:04:00,800
Take out one of your girls...
85
00:04:00,824 --> 00:04:02,307
You didn't hear me, Pyle.
86
00:04:02,376 --> 00:04:04,960
Not one of my girls, the girl.
87
00:04:05,629 --> 00:04:09,031
This is it, the girl.
88
00:04:09,099 --> 00:04:11,800
Well, you mean
you and she might...
89
00:04:11,868 --> 00:04:13,335
That's what I mean, all right.
90
00:04:13,404 --> 00:04:15,137
Well, golly, Sergeant!
91
00:04:15,205 --> 00:04:17,550
Best wishes, and may
you have every happiness.
92
00:04:17,574 --> 00:04:19,007
Thank you, Pyle.
93
00:04:19,076 --> 00:04:20,954
You mean, you want
me to take her out?
94
00:04:20,978 --> 00:04:22,227
And do you know why?
95
00:04:22,296 --> 00:04:24,796
Because there's not another
man on the entire base
96
00:04:24,864 --> 00:04:26,965
that I trust like I trust you.
97
00:04:27,034 --> 00:04:28,912
That's real nice of
you to say, Sergeant.
98
00:04:28,936 --> 00:04:30,836
No, I mean it.
99
00:04:30,904 --> 00:04:32,415
Well, where would I take her?
100
00:04:32,439 --> 00:04:34,684
You think she might like
to see that piranha fish
101
00:04:34,708 --> 00:04:37,358
that can eat up a human
bein' in five minutes?
102
00:04:37,427 --> 00:04:39,227
She might.
103
00:04:39,295 --> 00:04:42,296
But, uh, why don't
you take her out,
104
00:04:42,365 --> 00:04:44,483
have some dinner
together, see a movie?
105
00:04:44,551 --> 00:04:46,279
But the important
thing is, Pyle,
106
00:04:46,303 --> 00:04:49,137
that you don't let any other
Marine or civilian anywhere near her.
107
00:04:49,206 --> 00:04:50,271
Huh?
108
00:04:50,341 --> 00:04:51,840
Well, you know how it is.
109
00:04:51,908 --> 00:04:54,459
A pretty girl like Geraldine,
well, she's popular.
110
00:04:54,528 --> 00:04:58,013
Another guy comes along
and... Well, I could lose her.
111
00:04:58,081 --> 00:05:00,093
So she's gotta be
watched, you understand?
112
00:05:00,117 --> 00:05:02,996
Uh-huh. Good. Now, here,
let me give you some money.
113
00:05:03,020 --> 00:05:05,487
Oh, no, Sergeant.
I couldn't take that.
114
00:05:05,555 --> 00:05:06,635
I insist.
115
00:05:06,689 --> 00:05:08,368
Look, you're taking out my girl.
116
00:05:08,392 --> 00:05:10,169
You're doing me a
favor. Now, come on.
117
00:05:10,193 --> 00:05:11,943
Here, take this 10 bucks.
118
00:05:12,479 --> 00:05:14,212
$10?
119
00:05:14,281 --> 00:05:16,847
Shazam! I'll never spend it all.
120
00:05:16,916 --> 00:05:18,383
She sure is a mighty lucky girl
121
00:05:18,452 --> 00:05:20,585
to be gettin' a
thoughtful man like you.
122
00:05:20,653 --> 00:05:23,372
You know, you sure are
thoughtful for a sergeant.
123
00:05:23,457 --> 00:05:25,957
Well, I try, Pyle. I try.
124
00:05:26,026 --> 00:05:27,470
Now, look, I'll phone Geraldine.
125
00:05:27,494 --> 00:05:30,440
I'll explain the whole thing
to her, and you pick her up.
126
00:05:30,464 --> 00:05:33,142
In fact, I won't call her until
right before you go to pick her up
127
00:05:33,166 --> 00:05:36,200
so she won't have time
to make any other plans.
128
00:05:36,269 --> 00:05:37,869
Thoughtful, thoughtful.
129
00:05:37,938 --> 00:05:40,388
"Thoughtful" is the
word for Sergeant Carter.
130
00:05:40,457 --> 00:05:43,925
And "trustworthy" is
the word for Gomer Pyle.
131
00:05:43,993 --> 00:05:46,561
Yeah, but bring me the
change out of that $10.
132
00:05:49,199 --> 00:05:51,366
This is very disappointing.
133
00:05:51,435 --> 00:05:53,417
I mean, very disappointing, Hal.
134
00:05:53,486 --> 00:05:54,769
Vinny.
135
00:05:54,838 --> 00:05:57,705
I'm sorry, honey, but listen,
136
00:05:57,774 --> 00:06:01,827
meanwhile, you're still my
own little cutie-babe, ain't you?
137
00:06:01,879 --> 00:06:04,312
My own little lambchop?
138
00:06:04,381 --> 00:06:08,116
Oh, I love when you
sweet-talk like that.
139
00:06:09,586 --> 00:06:11,135
Say it again.
140
00:06:11,204 --> 00:06:13,655
You're my own little dew drop.
141
00:06:14,758 --> 00:06:16,791
Oh, someone's at the door.
142
00:06:16,860 --> 00:06:22,230
Okay, baby. Don't
forget... Que sera sera.
143
00:06:22,298 --> 00:06:23,698
Our song, remember?
144
00:06:23,767 --> 00:06:26,884
I remember. I have to
get the door. Bye, Dave.
145
00:06:26,953 --> 00:06:28,085
Vinny.
146
00:06:30,023 --> 00:06:31,234
Hey, ma'am.
147
00:06:31,258 --> 00:06:33,791
Hello. You must be Goomer.
148
00:06:33,860 --> 00:06:37,212
Gomer. Like Homer,
except with a "G."
149
00:06:37,281 --> 00:06:39,514
Yes. Well, uh, come on in.
150
00:06:39,583 --> 00:06:42,362
Sergeant Carter was sure
disappointed he couldn't make it.
151
00:06:42,386 --> 00:06:45,186
I hope you won't be too
disappointed in the substitution.
152
00:06:45,255 --> 00:06:48,623
'Cause I sure ain't no
Sergeant Carter, nowhere's near.
153
00:06:49,693 --> 00:06:53,895
Well, um... Uh, won't
you sit down, Homer?
154
00:06:53,963 --> 00:06:56,498
Uh, Gomer. After you, ma'am.
155
00:06:56,566 --> 00:06:59,746
I never do sit in the
presence of a lady.
156
00:06:59,770 --> 00:07:01,269
Oh.
157
00:07:01,338 --> 00:07:03,371
Well... Well, I thought
I'd get you something.
158
00:07:03,440 --> 00:07:04,839
Would you care for a drink?
159
00:07:04,908 --> 00:07:06,308
Yes, ma'am. Sure would.
160
00:07:06,376 --> 00:07:07,792
What would you like?
161
00:07:07,861 --> 00:07:10,228
Well, I'd like for you to
leave the tap run a while.
162
00:07:10,297 --> 00:07:13,264
That way, you're sure to
get the water nice and cold.
163
00:07:14,901 --> 00:07:16,000
All right.
164
00:07:16,069 --> 00:07:17,279
Ma'am?
165
00:07:17,303 --> 00:07:18,452
Uh, yes?
166
00:07:18,521 --> 00:07:20,721
No wonder Sergeant
Carter's so stuck on you.
167
00:07:20,791 --> 00:07:22,874
You sure are pretty and nice.
168
00:07:23,777 --> 00:07:25,588
I am? Yes, ma'am.
169
00:07:25,612 --> 00:07:28,129
You're a whole lot
prettier than I expected.
170
00:07:31,301 --> 00:07:35,003
Gomer, what did you
say about my hair?
171
00:07:35,071 --> 00:07:36,404
Huh?
172
00:07:36,472 --> 00:07:38,439
Well, when we
first started dancing,
173
00:07:38,508 --> 00:07:40,909
you said something
about my hair.
174
00:07:40,977 --> 00:07:42,789
Oh, that it was pretty and soft,
175
00:07:42,813 --> 00:07:44,957
and it smelled real
nice, too? That?
176
00:07:44,981 --> 00:07:46,480
Say it again.
177
00:07:47,350 --> 00:07:49,328
Your hair is pretty and soft,
178
00:07:49,352 --> 00:07:52,353
and it smells real
nice, real nice.
179
00:08:03,499 --> 00:08:05,766
Gosh, I didn't realize it's
so late, Miss Geraldine.
180
00:08:05,836 --> 00:08:07,302
I sure am sorry.
181
00:08:07,370 --> 00:08:09,603
Well, don't be. I
had a wonderful time.
182
00:08:09,672 --> 00:08:12,373
Really? 'Cause I
sure enjoyed myself.
183
00:08:12,442 --> 00:08:15,076
Oh, I mean it. I enjoyed
every minute of it.
184
00:08:15,145 --> 00:08:17,478
The aquarium, that
was fun, and... and the...
185
00:08:17,548 --> 00:08:18,646
I still can't believe it,
186
00:08:18,715 --> 00:08:20,331
a little old bitty
fish like that
187
00:08:20,400 --> 00:08:22,700
is able to eat up a human
bein' in five minutes.
188
00:08:22,769 --> 00:08:25,769
Why, it'd take a human bein' longer
than that to eat that little old fish.
189
00:08:25,805 --> 00:08:27,655
I mean, bonin' it and all.
190
00:08:28,625 --> 00:08:31,159
Well, I enjoyed that.
191
00:08:31,228 --> 00:08:33,461
And the movie and the dinner...
192
00:08:34,431 --> 00:08:36,081
And the talk.
193
00:08:36,149 --> 00:08:39,183
Well, shoot, you sure
are easy to talk to, ma'am.
194
00:08:39,252 --> 00:08:40,852
Talk some more.
195
00:08:40,921 --> 00:08:42,487
About what?
196
00:08:42,555 --> 00:08:44,089
About me.
197
00:08:44,157 --> 00:08:45,924
You mean, about your hair?
198
00:08:45,993 --> 00:08:47,258
Anything.
199
00:08:47,961 --> 00:08:50,728
Well... You sure
are good company,
200
00:08:50,797 --> 00:08:52,063
and you're a real good dancer.
201
00:08:52,132 --> 00:08:54,399
Golly, you're
light as a feather,
202
00:08:54,468 --> 00:08:57,869
but most of all,
you're real pretty.
203
00:08:57,938 --> 00:09:00,271
I love sweet talk.
204
00:09:00,340 --> 00:09:03,541
Well, I guess I better be
gettin' back to the base.
205
00:09:04,978 --> 00:09:06,594
Good night, ma'am.
206
00:09:06,663 --> 00:09:07,946
Good night.
207
00:09:08,015 --> 00:09:09,180
Night.
208
00:09:28,885 --> 00:09:30,785
What's the matter, Vince?
209
00:09:30,854 --> 00:09:32,270
Go get Pyle.
210
00:09:32,338 --> 00:09:34,183
What's wrong, Sarge?
You look terrible.
211
00:09:34,207 --> 00:09:35,973
Go get Pyle.
212
00:09:36,042 --> 00:09:37,441
What is it, bad news?
213
00:09:37,510 --> 00:09:40,194
Get him. Go get Pyle.
214
00:09:40,264 --> 00:09:42,113
Sure, Sarge, sure.
215
00:09:42,182 --> 00:09:44,049
Get him. Get Pyle.
216
00:09:48,454 --> 00:09:52,557
"And so, I think it's
best that we end it now.
217
00:09:52,625 --> 00:09:54,392
"I'm sorry.
218
00:09:54,460 --> 00:09:57,962
"But don't think it hasn't
been fun, because it has.
219
00:09:58,031 --> 00:10:01,933
"Think of it as a trip to the
moon on gossamer wings,
220
00:10:02,002 --> 00:10:04,002
"just one of those things.
221
00:10:05,906 --> 00:10:07,872
"Auf Wiedersehen, my dear."
222
00:10:18,018 --> 00:10:19,718
Go get Pyle.
223
00:10:24,524 --> 00:10:27,291
You wanted to see me,
Sergeant? Is somethin' wrong?
224
00:10:27,360 --> 00:10:29,860
It's all over, Pyle, all over.
225
00:10:29,929 --> 00:10:31,128
What's all over?
226
00:10:31,198 --> 00:10:33,198
Geraldine and me.
227
00:10:33,266 --> 00:10:37,385
Over, done, finis, kaput.
228
00:10:37,454 --> 00:10:38,519
Huh?
229
00:10:42,509 --> 00:10:44,942
What a terrible thing!
230
00:10:45,011 --> 00:10:47,445
What a terrible thing!
231
00:10:47,514 --> 00:10:50,882
Yeah. Huh? Huh?
232
00:10:50,950 --> 00:10:53,730
You take a girl out, you...
you give her your tie clip,
233
00:10:53,754 --> 00:10:56,521
and just like that, it's over.
234
00:10:58,224 --> 00:10:59,724
Que sera sera.
235
00:11:00,309 --> 00:11:01,309
What?
236
00:11:01,345 --> 00:11:04,045
That was our song.
237
00:11:04,113 --> 00:11:06,848
Well, I was que
sera sera'd, all right.
238
00:11:06,933 --> 00:11:09,133
I can't tell you how
sorry I am, Sergeant.
239
00:11:09,202 --> 00:11:10,968
You see, Pyle?
240
00:11:11,037 --> 00:11:14,149
You see why I wanted you to
take her out and watch her for me?
241
00:11:14,173 --> 00:11:16,574
Well, you didn't watch
good enough, Pyle.
242
00:11:16,643 --> 00:11:18,209
While your back was turned,
243
00:11:18,278 --> 00:11:21,646
some rat fink came
around and stole my girl!
244
00:11:21,715 --> 00:11:23,180
You really think so?
245
00:11:23,249 --> 00:11:25,399
Of course.
246
00:11:25,468 --> 00:11:27,046
Didn't you see her
make a phone call?
247
00:11:27,070 --> 00:11:28,948
Didn't you see her talk to
any other guy all day long?
248
00:11:28,972 --> 00:11:30,839
Now, think, man, think!
249
00:11:30,907 --> 00:11:33,007
Well, at the aquarium,
250
00:11:33,076 --> 00:11:35,009
there was this one
feller that spoke to her.
251
00:11:35,095 --> 00:11:38,096
Yeah, yeah, what, a guy
in uniform? Yeah, but...
252
00:11:38,164 --> 00:11:40,543
Well, who was he? What did
he say, what did he say to her?
253
00:11:40,567 --> 00:11:42,433
Well, he was the
guard, and he said,
254
00:11:42,502 --> 00:11:45,103
"Lady, don't lean
against the glass."
255
00:11:45,938 --> 00:11:47,705
You missed it, Pyle.
256
00:11:48,208 --> 00:11:49,974
You blew it.
257
00:11:50,042 --> 00:11:51,309
There was probably some guy
258
00:11:51,377 --> 00:11:53,077
following you
around all day long,
259
00:11:53,146 --> 00:11:54,490
and you didn't
even know about it.
260
00:11:54,514 --> 00:11:56,814
You really think so? I know so.
261
00:11:58,684 --> 00:12:01,486
Well, I'm not gonna
give up so easy.
262
00:12:01,554 --> 00:12:04,888
No, sir, I'm not throwing
in the towel just yet.
263
00:12:04,957 --> 00:12:07,391
I'm gonna fight this!
264
00:12:07,460 --> 00:12:09,327
I want you to do me
another favor, Pyle.
265
00:12:09,395 --> 00:12:10,989
I'll be glad to, Sergeant.
266
00:12:11,013 --> 00:12:12,913
I want you to take
Geraldine out once more,
267
00:12:12,982 --> 00:12:14,866
spend the entire day with her.
268
00:12:14,918 --> 00:12:17,429
Oh, but this time, I want you to
keep your eyes wide open, see?
269
00:12:17,453 --> 00:12:19,420
I want you to watch
for any guy she talks to.
270
00:12:19,489 --> 00:12:21,155
Find out who he is.
271
00:12:21,224 --> 00:12:24,002
I wanna track this down. I wanna
know one thing, who's the other guy?
272
00:12:24,026 --> 00:12:26,444
Who's the dirty,
double-crossing rat?
273
00:12:26,512 --> 00:12:28,925
Any person that'd pilfer
another one's loved one
274
00:12:28,949 --> 00:12:30,381
is all them things and more.
275
00:12:30,450 --> 00:12:32,900
All right. Tomorrow,
tomorrow's Saturday.
276
00:12:32,969 --> 00:12:34,235
You got liberty.
277
00:12:34,304 --> 00:12:36,237
Take her out. Spend
the whole day with her.
278
00:12:36,306 --> 00:12:38,306
Here, let me give you
some more money.
279
00:12:38,375 --> 00:12:40,858
You got anything left out
of that 10 bucks I gave you?
280
00:12:40,927 --> 00:12:43,939
Oh, I forgot, I was supposed
to bring you the change.
281
00:12:43,963 --> 00:12:44,862
Good.
282
00:12:44,931 --> 00:12:46,864
26 cents.
283
00:12:46,933 --> 00:12:49,200
Hang on to it.
Here's another $10.
284
00:12:49,769 --> 00:12:51,268
Another $10?
285
00:12:51,337 --> 00:12:53,621
Golly, Sergeant, this
is really costin' you.
286
00:12:53,690 --> 00:12:56,491
It's worth it, Pyle, to find
out what I wanna find out!
287
00:12:56,560 --> 00:12:58,404
Right. Now, I'm
depending on you, Pyle.
288
00:12:58,428 --> 00:13:00,539
Don't let me down! Oh,
you can trust me, Sergeant.
289
00:13:00,563 --> 00:13:01,774
I'll watch her, all right.
290
00:13:01,798 --> 00:13:03,643
I'll watch her just like a hawk.
291
00:13:03,667 --> 00:13:05,300
Just like a hawk.
292
00:13:05,368 --> 00:13:06,768
Good boy!
293
00:13:06,836 --> 00:13:08,914
Any person that'd try to
steal my sergeant's girlfriend
294
00:13:08,938 --> 00:13:12,098
is a mean, hateful thing that's
got his lumps comin' to him.
295
00:13:12,141 --> 00:13:13,892
That's the ticket!
296
00:13:13,960 --> 00:13:16,138
Now, report back to me tomorrow
night as soon as you get back to the base.
297
00:13:16,162 --> 00:13:18,496
Right! As soon as I
get back, Sergeant.
298
00:13:18,565 --> 00:13:19,831
Gung ho!
299
00:14:50,122 --> 00:14:51,889
Here we are.
300
00:14:51,958 --> 00:14:53,491
Yeah, here we are.
301
00:14:54,160 --> 00:14:55,760
Thank you, Gomer.
302
00:14:55,829 --> 00:14:56,894
Ma'am?
303
00:14:56,963 --> 00:14:58,028
I said, "Thank you."
304
00:14:58,097 --> 00:14:59,337
Oh, you're sure welcome.
305
00:14:59,365 --> 00:15:00,731
You know something, Gomer?
306
00:15:00,800 --> 00:15:03,184
I'd like to spend
days like this forever.
307
00:15:03,252 --> 00:15:04,401
You would?
308
00:15:04,470 --> 00:15:05,769
Mmm-hmm.
309
00:15:06,572 --> 00:15:08,773
Wouldn't you?
310
00:15:08,841 --> 00:15:12,326
Well, to tell the
truth, I sure would.
311
00:15:12,395 --> 00:15:14,679
Oh, Gomer, I accept!
312
00:15:16,833 --> 00:15:19,953
Don't you realize that you just
proposed to me? But, ma'am...
313
00:15:20,019 --> 00:15:22,536
Oh, I almost forgot. You
have to give me your tie clip.
314
00:15:22,605 --> 00:15:25,323
You know what that
means? I'm your steady.
315
00:15:25,391 --> 00:15:27,503
But, ma'am... Oh, no.
Let's not say anything more.
316
00:15:27,527 --> 00:15:29,009
Let's not spoil it.
317
00:15:29,729 --> 00:15:31,863
Good night, darling.
318
00:15:31,931 --> 00:15:33,164
Good night.
319
00:15:34,333 --> 00:15:35,800
Until tomorrow.
320
00:15:52,618 --> 00:15:55,286
Pyle, you're back, boy.
Come on in, come on in!
321
00:15:56,656 --> 00:15:58,455
Well, well, well?
322
00:15:58,524 --> 00:16:01,142
Well, uh...
323
00:16:01,211 --> 00:16:04,979
I went over to her house
and I picked her up...
324
00:16:05,047 --> 00:16:06,447
Yeah, yeah, yeah?
325
00:16:06,516 --> 00:16:07,827
Can I tell you this tomorrow?
326
00:16:07,851 --> 00:16:10,718
No, no. This can't
wait. Now, tell, tell.
327
00:16:10,787 --> 00:16:13,988
Sergeant, can I ask
you somethin' first?
328
00:16:14,057 --> 00:16:16,057
What?
329
00:16:16,126 --> 00:16:20,294
W-W-What was you plannin' on doin'
to this other feller once you found him?
330
00:16:20,363 --> 00:16:22,597
Have you been
thinkin' about that?
331
00:16:22,665 --> 00:16:25,633
Oh, I've been
thinkin' about that.
332
00:16:25,701 --> 00:16:28,702
I've been thinkin'
real good about that.
333
00:16:28,771 --> 00:16:30,370
You have?
334
00:16:30,439 --> 00:16:31,705
Oh, yeah.
335
00:16:33,309 --> 00:16:36,543
I see us meetin' in
an alley somewhere,
336
00:16:37,413 --> 00:16:40,314
a nice, dark, dead-end alley,
337
00:16:40,383 --> 00:16:41,882
where he can't get away.
338
00:16:41,951 --> 00:16:43,884
And then...
339
00:16:43,953 --> 00:16:46,420
Then I haven't quite
made up my mind.
340
00:16:46,488 --> 00:16:50,324
Should I start with his
ribs and work my way up?
341
00:16:50,392 --> 00:16:53,627
Or should I start with his head
342
00:16:53,696 --> 00:16:56,297
and work my way
down to his legs,
343
00:16:56,365 --> 00:16:58,299
breaking things as I go?
344
00:16:58,368 --> 00:17:01,869
Oh yeah, I've been
thinkin' about that.
345
00:17:01,937 --> 00:17:04,905
I've been thinkin'
a lot about that.
346
00:17:07,577 --> 00:17:09,221
Tell me, Pyle, tell me!
347
00:17:09,245 --> 00:17:10,789
Do you know who this
guy is? Do you know?
348
00:17:10,813 --> 00:17:14,281
W-Well, uh, I
think I have a lead.
349
00:17:14,350 --> 00:17:16,083
You have? Uh-huh.
350
00:17:16,151 --> 00:17:18,386
Uh, uh, can I tell
you tomorrow night?
351
00:17:18,454 --> 00:17:20,165
Why? Why do we have to wait?
352
00:17:20,189 --> 00:17:23,023
Well, I think he's comin'
back tomorrow night.
353
00:17:23,092 --> 00:17:25,158
Tomorrow night? Uh-huh.
354
00:17:25,227 --> 00:17:26,694
I think so.
355
00:17:26,763 --> 00:17:27,961
Well...
356
00:17:29,064 --> 00:17:31,298
I waited this long.
357
00:17:31,367 --> 00:17:33,133
I can wait another night.
358
00:17:35,772 --> 00:17:37,505
Good night, Sergeant.
359
00:17:39,709 --> 00:17:42,476
Hey! Are you going out?
360
00:17:42,545 --> 00:17:44,077
That is right.
361
00:17:44,146 --> 00:17:46,191
I thought you were
gonna stay in all weekend.
362
00:17:46,215 --> 00:17:47,593
What is it, a last-minute deal?
363
00:17:47,617 --> 00:17:50,250
This, my friend, is called
"Operation Close-in."
364
00:17:50,319 --> 00:17:51,552
Huh?
365
00:17:51,621 --> 00:17:53,721
Closing in on the
fink who stole my girl,
366
00:17:53,790 --> 00:17:56,023
the fink who sweet-talked
her away from me.
367
00:17:56,091 --> 00:17:58,125
Last night, Pyle told
me he had a lead.
368
00:17:58,193 --> 00:17:59,727
He said he'd get
back to me tonight.
369
00:17:59,796 --> 00:18:02,195
He said the guy would
probably be there tonight.
370
00:18:02,264 --> 00:18:03,464
So?
371
00:18:03,533 --> 00:18:05,800
So, I wanna be there.
372
00:18:05,868 --> 00:18:08,702
I wanna take myself
a little look-see.
373
00:18:08,771 --> 00:18:11,605
I wanna run into this
chap, and when I do...
374
00:18:11,674 --> 00:18:15,576
Now don't go gettin' yourself
into trouble, Vince. It ain't worth it.
375
00:18:15,645 --> 00:18:17,277
What trouble?
376
00:18:17,346 --> 00:18:19,413
I just wanna see this guy.
377
00:18:19,482 --> 00:18:22,115
I just wanna see what he
looks like. I wanna meet him.
378
00:18:22,184 --> 00:18:24,752
I wanna take a good
look at him. And then...
379
00:18:25,721 --> 00:18:27,254
I wanna kill him.
380
00:18:30,326 --> 00:18:32,526
Oh, darling, come in.
381
00:18:32,595 --> 00:18:34,194
Come in, darling.
382
00:18:34,263 --> 00:18:36,141
Why didn't you call all day?
383
00:18:36,165 --> 00:18:39,199
Oh, last night was
wonderful, just wonderful.
384
00:18:39,268 --> 00:18:41,335
Have you been
thinking about last night?
385
00:18:41,403 --> 00:18:43,615
Well, yes, ma'am. I sure have.
386
00:18:43,639 --> 00:18:45,806
That's the reason I've
come back here tonight.
387
00:18:45,875 --> 00:18:47,341
Oh, tell me, tell me.
388
00:18:47,409 --> 00:18:49,910
Say something sweet,
like you always do.
389
00:18:49,979 --> 00:18:52,346
Well, first of all, though,
390
00:18:52,414 --> 00:18:54,526
I've got to ask for
my tie clip back.
391
00:18:54,550 --> 00:18:56,227
We're supposed
to have two of 'em.
392
00:18:56,251 --> 00:18:58,652
Oh, I understand. Of course.
393
00:18:58,721 --> 00:19:01,355
I should know, it's
part of your uniform.
394
00:19:01,423 --> 00:19:04,057
But, darling, you know,
tie clips are just sort of,
395
00:19:04,126 --> 00:19:07,194
well, trinkets to kind
of seal a bargain.
396
00:19:07,262 --> 00:19:09,763
You know how I'd
rather seal the bargain?
397
00:19:09,832 --> 00:19:11,231
Like this.
398
00:19:22,845 --> 00:19:24,244
What's this?
399
00:19:25,247 --> 00:19:26,714
What's this?
400
00:19:27,616 --> 00:19:29,483
Oh, mercy!
401
00:19:29,552 --> 00:19:31,852
Leonard! What
are you doing here?
402
00:19:31,920 --> 00:19:33,680
You? Sergeant, listen...
403
00:19:33,706 --> 00:19:35,750
You? I wanna know
what this is all about!
404
00:19:35,774 --> 00:19:37,734
What are you doing here? You?
405
00:19:37,777 --> 00:19:39,487
Will you answer me?
What do you want?
406
00:19:39,511 --> 00:19:41,306
You? You're the rat fink?
407
00:19:41,330 --> 00:19:43,275
You're the one I sent
in to watch over my girl,
408
00:19:43,299 --> 00:19:45,311
do a little spying for me,
and this is what happens?
409
00:19:45,335 --> 00:19:47,379
You? What are you talking about?
410
00:19:47,403 --> 00:19:49,731
This rat fink here, I sent
him in to take out my girl,
411
00:19:49,755 --> 00:19:51,633
and what happens? He steals her!
412
00:19:51,657 --> 00:19:53,624
What? Miss
Geraldine, Sergeant...
413
00:19:53,692 --> 00:19:56,994
Oh, yeah. I sent him in
personally to take you out!
414
00:19:57,062 --> 00:19:59,575
I even financed it! Ask him,
ask him if it ain't the truth!
415
00:19:59,599 --> 00:20:02,666
"Oh, yeah, here, take
another 10 bucks, Pyle!
416
00:20:02,735 --> 00:20:05,068
"Here, take out
my girl, go ahead!"
417
00:20:05,138 --> 00:20:06,848
"I'll watch her, Sergeant.
You can trust me!
418
00:20:06,872 --> 00:20:09,039
"I'll watch her like a
hawk, just like a hawk!"
419
00:20:09,108 --> 00:20:10,852
Well, you watched
her real good, all right!
420
00:20:10,876 --> 00:20:12,276
Sergeant, Miss Geraldine...
421
00:20:12,345 --> 00:20:14,945
This is the most disgusting
thing I ever heard of!
422
00:20:15,014 --> 00:20:17,948
How dare you send
someone in here to spy on me!
423
00:20:18,017 --> 00:20:21,936
And... And how dare you
take a job like that and fool me!
424
00:20:22,005 --> 00:20:23,654
Oh, get out here!
425
00:20:23,723 --> 00:20:25,483
Both of you, get
out of this house!
426
00:20:25,541 --> 00:20:27,661
Miss Geraldine, if you'd
just listen for a minute...
427
00:20:27,693 --> 00:20:31,044
Out! Out! Get out of this
house before I call the police!
428
00:20:31,113 --> 00:20:33,108
You heard her, rat fink! Out!
429
00:20:33,132 --> 00:20:34,732
Sergeant, wait just
a minute, listen...
430
00:20:34,800 --> 00:20:37,251
Out! Out of my sight!
431
00:20:37,320 --> 00:20:39,753
And take Sergeant
Hagen with you!
432
00:20:39,822 --> 00:20:42,790
You rat fink, come on out!
433
00:20:42,858 --> 00:20:45,698
Rat fink! Rat fink! Rat fink!
434
00:20:46,312 --> 00:20:50,013
Sergeant... Now, Sergeant...
435
00:20:50,082 --> 00:20:51,615
Wouldn't nobody
listen to nothin'.
436
00:20:51,684 --> 00:20:53,718
Wouldn't nobody listen
to a thing I had to say.
437
00:20:53,786 --> 00:20:55,431
I'll listen! I'll be
glad to listen!
438
00:20:55,455 --> 00:20:57,800
But first, let's find
that nice, dark alley!
439
00:20:57,824 --> 00:20:59,857
Wait a minute! Can't
I say just one thing?
440
00:20:59,925 --> 00:21:02,304
A prayer, a short one! Wait.
441
00:21:02,328 --> 00:21:04,105
Now, I know what you
came in there and seen
442
00:21:04,129 --> 00:21:05,557
must've looked pretty terrible.
443
00:21:05,581 --> 00:21:08,549
But the fact of the matter is,
the whole thing was one-sided.
444
00:21:08,618 --> 00:21:10,534
That's the reason I
come here tonight,
445
00:21:10,603 --> 00:21:13,170
to tell her that this whole
thing just wasn't possible.
446
00:21:13,239 --> 00:21:15,740
But she didn't even give
me a chance to do that.
447
00:21:15,808 --> 00:21:18,158
But now I'm gettin' to
the most important part.
448
00:21:18,227 --> 00:21:20,844
Miss Geraldine is
pretty and fun to be with,
449
00:21:20,913 --> 00:21:23,431
but do you know what?
450
00:21:23,499 --> 00:21:26,934
I don't want her to hear
this, but she's fickle.
451
00:21:27,003 --> 00:21:28,202
Huh?
452
00:21:28,271 --> 00:21:30,204
Fickle. She is a
fickle-hearted person
453
00:21:30,273 --> 00:21:32,139
that just likes bein'
sweet-talked to.
454
00:21:32,208 --> 00:21:33,590
She said so herself.
455
00:21:33,659 --> 00:21:36,159
Just look how fast she
threw you over for me.
456
00:21:36,229 --> 00:21:39,379
Now, how do we know how fast she
wouldn't throw me over for somebody else?
457
00:21:39,448 --> 00:21:41,715
As soon as another
sweet-talker come along.
458
00:21:41,784 --> 00:21:45,419
Now, that type of person
is fickle, fickle, fickle.
459
00:21:45,487 --> 00:21:46,954
Now, tell the truth, Sergeant.
460
00:21:47,040 --> 00:21:49,440
Ain't you glad you found
out about her this quick
461
00:21:49,509 --> 00:21:51,275
instead of gettin'
more tied up with her
462
00:21:51,344 --> 00:21:53,810
and, later on, bein'
really disappointed?
463
00:21:53,879 --> 00:21:56,613
Now, if what I say
don't make good sense
464
00:21:56,682 --> 00:21:59,283
and you still wanna
go find that dark alley...
465
00:21:59,352 --> 00:22:02,569
Well, that's up to you.
466
00:22:04,673 --> 00:22:06,751
Let's find a diner instead.
467
00:22:06,775 --> 00:22:07,841
Huh?
468
00:22:09,379 --> 00:22:10,589
Come on, Goomer.
469
00:22:10,613 --> 00:22:13,247
Harry's gonna buy
you a cup of coffee.
470
00:22:15,018 --> 00:22:16,717
Que sera sera.
471
00:22:33,419 --> 00:22:34,918
Hey, Sergeant!
472
00:22:34,987 --> 00:22:36,498
Pyle, what are you doin' here?
473
00:22:36,522 --> 00:22:38,955
Well, I'm supposed
to be meetin' a girl.
474
00:22:39,024 --> 00:22:41,258
And I sure ain't lookin'
forward to it, neither.
475
00:22:41,327 --> 00:22:42,604
Why? Who is she?
476
00:22:42,628 --> 00:22:43,727
Well, it's like this.
477
00:22:43,795 --> 00:22:45,896
Duke Slater, back
in the barracks,
478
00:22:45,965 --> 00:22:48,376
he had a date with these
two girls in one evenin',
479
00:22:48,400 --> 00:22:50,546
and he didn't wanna
disappoint either one of the girls,
480
00:22:50,570 --> 00:22:52,903
so he asked me if I'd
take one of 'em out.
481
00:22:52,972 --> 00:22:55,272
So take her out. Have fun.
482
00:22:57,777 --> 00:22:59,643
Hey, Sergeant. What?
483
00:22:59,712 --> 00:23:01,872
Do you have any
plans this evenin'?
484
00:23:02,448 --> 00:23:03,681
No. Why?
485
00:23:03,749 --> 00:23:05,777
Would you like to take
out this girl instead of me?
486
00:23:05,801 --> 00:23:09,202
You'd be much better on one of
these blind dates than I am, I expect.
487
00:23:09,288 --> 00:23:11,355
No, thanks. I sure
wish you would.
488
00:23:11,423 --> 00:23:14,408
She's due here any minute.
Duke said that the way I'd know her
489
00:23:14,476 --> 00:23:17,077
she'd be wearin' white gloves
and carryin' a black purse.
490
00:23:17,145 --> 00:23:19,179
I don't think so, Pyle.
491
00:23:19,248 --> 00:23:22,516
If Duke thinks this
girl is right for you,
492
00:23:22,585 --> 00:23:24,551
well, I don't think
she's right for me.
493
00:23:24,620 --> 00:23:25,752
You understand?
494
00:23:25,821 --> 00:23:27,554
Yeah. Well...
495
00:23:36,281 --> 00:23:39,633
Uh, on second thought, Pyle, uh,
496
00:23:39,702 --> 00:23:42,502
since, uh, I don't
have any special plans,
497
00:23:42,571 --> 00:23:45,171
and since you really
don't care to have this date,
498
00:23:45,241 --> 00:23:47,991
well, uh, I'll be
glad to do it for you.
499
00:23:48,060 --> 00:23:51,495
You would, Sergeant?
Well, thank you very much!
500
00:23:51,564 --> 00:23:52,796
It's okay, Pyle.
501
00:23:52,865 --> 00:23:55,332
I'm always glad to
help out one of my men.
502
00:23:59,171 --> 00:24:01,438
Has she, uh, come in yet?
503
00:24:01,507 --> 00:24:03,173
Take a look.
504
00:24:03,242 --> 00:24:04,341
Okay.
505
00:24:09,915 --> 00:24:11,726
Yeah, that's her, all right.
506
00:24:11,750 --> 00:24:13,683
Duke said she was tall.
507
00:24:21,043 --> 00:24:23,110
Well, like you said, Sergeant,
508
00:24:23,179 --> 00:24:24,419
y'all have fun.
37202
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