Original subtitles

Gomer Pyle - USMC.

Starring Jim Nabors as Gomer Pyle.

Also starring Frank Sutton as Sergeant Carter.

All right, you people, we're in enemy territory now.

Hear this and hear it good. I'm gonna refresh your memories.

Now, on this map here, you'll see a bridge at 471330.

Our mission is to advance deeper into enemy territory,

find that bridge, and destroy that bridge.

This whole area is heavily held.

We've only got 10 men.

Not all 10 men are going to get through,

but enough of you have to get through to do the job,

which means that each one of you is gonna be strong,

is gonna be tough, is gonna be fast,

is gonna be, all the time, thinking, thinking, thinking.

Any questions? Yes, sir.

Sergeant Carter, would you repeat that, please?

Pyle, didn't you hear anything, anything?

Yes, sir.

It just sounded so good, the part where you said

I was gonna be strong and fast and thinking and...

Knock it off! Pay attention.

All right.

Today is the day you people learn

about the pride of the Marines.

If we get that bridge, if we get through,

there'll be no individual citations, no glory.

Just a little old, beat-up gold boot

to put in the trophy case back in our company office.

The gold boot they give to platoons

that distinguish themselves in the field.

I want that boot.

All right. This is it.

Now, be careful when you fire.

The thing to be prepared for is...

Hit the deck! Hit the deck!

Grenade!

Sergeant. Yes, sir?

Major Stone, Sergeant.

I'll be observing your squad during the war games. Yes, sir.

As a result of the enemy grenade,

this man and this man are dead.

Tag them.

Aye, aye, sir.

Now, this man was presumably hit and can remain in action.

Tag and bandage him.

Aye, aye, sir.

Hey, this looks like it's gonna be fun.

Do you think we're anywheres near that bridge?

You don't understand strategy, Gomer.

No, I don't guess I do.

You see, the enemy expects us to take the short route to the bridge, right?

Right.

So Sergeant Carter knows that the enemy expects us

to take the short route, so he starts off on the long route.

But he's also got to figure that the enemy would figure

that we wouldn't go the way they expected.

Understand?

Hey, do you think we're anywheres near that bridge?

I think the Sergeant wants you, Gomer.

Me? Yeah.

Keep quiet and look straight ahead.

Do you see anything?

It sure is pretty up there.

I'm talking about the enemy.

This ain't a nature walk. Now, look.

No, sir.

Of course, I don't rightly know what the enemy looks like.

"The enemy will be wearing red identifying armbands,"

as you may have been told.

Yes, sir. I'm sorry, sir.

This is no time for sorry.

You see that little pile of rocks up there?

That pile of rocks commands this whole area.

There's no way around it except over open ground.

Now, one man in there with a machine gun

can mow down our whole squad.

You know, I never would have thought of that.

I know.

Now, Pyle, I've got to send a man

up to that pile of rocks to make sure.

I need a volunteer,

a man who can face enemy fire,

who can make that sacrifice.

Do you know why I'm sending you?

Because I'm the most expendable?

Right.

Now, remember one thing.

Try and remember one thing.

Yes, sir.

This is jungle warfare.

Every mean, nasty trick the enemy can play on you,

he'll play it.

Now, you've got to do the same thing to him. Can you do it?

I can do it, but I won't like it. Huh?

Mean, nasty tricks.

I don't much care for that sort of thing.

Well, don't care for it, just do it!

Yes, sir.

Hey, there.

Hey.

How you doin'?

Thanks for not shootin' me.

I couldn't.

You know, I feel the same way.

You don't understand.

I couldn't for a very simple reason.

What's that?

I'm dead.

Oh, I'm real sorry to hear that.

It's all right.

Would it help to talk about it?

No, I can't. You see, you can't talk.

It's against regulations when you're dead.

Oh, well, I wouldn't want to go against regulations.

But back home, we had this neighbor, Orlee Keefer,

and she used to talk to her husband, Virgil, real good

after he was dead.

She had to go into some kind of trance,

and she did it by taking this stuff

she bottled in her backyard.

And, oh, she talked to him real sharp,

just like she did before he hung hisself.

And Orlee, he... Oh, that's my Sergeant.

I ought to tell him it's all clear, you being dead and all.

Sure.

But we all got to go sometime.

Hey, Sergeant, it's all clear.

Hit the deck! Hit the deck!

Sergeant.

Yes, sir?

It looks like you walked right into one, Sergeant.

Pyle. Pyle, I thought you said it was all clear.

Yes, sir. The only feller that was in there was dead.

You're sure, Private?

Yes, sir, he told me so.

He, uh, had one of these tags?

You know, I think he tricked me.

What a mean thing.

What a mean thing to do!

All right, Sergeant, you've got three men killed and one wounded.

Which ones are dead, sir?

Here, here, here,

and, uh, this man wounded.

Tag them.

I'm not arguing, sir,

but private Pyle here was right in the line of fire.

That's true. I don't know how I was saved.

He's dead, isn't he, sir? Please, sir.

Of course, it's your decision, but I'd kill him.

I mean, I'd tag him killed.

That's it, Sergeant.

Yes, sir. Carry on.

What a mean thing to do.

What a mean thing,

to tell me he was dead when he was as alive as you and me.

Pyle, do you have any idea

what you've done to this mission?

I sure learned my lesson, Sergeant.

Lesson?

I had eight men.

Now I've got three dead and one wounded

who has to be carried back by one of the men I've got left,

which leaves me with three men

to fight my way through and blow up that bridge!

Don't you worry, Sergeant. We'll make it okay.

We?

Who do you think's gonna carry that wounded man to the rear?

Move it!

Yes, sir.

What a mean thing.

What a mean thing to do.

Hey, come on, Gomer.

I think you're headed in the wrong direction.

Well, that's because you're facing the wrong way.

I'll set you down so you can get straightened out.

Halt.

Sure. Glad to.

Don't try no tricks, now.

We're walking wounded, man. We've had it.

Do you think we ought to capture 'em, Eddie?

Why?

Yeah, why?

Well, we could extract military information from you.

Look, Jack, you capture us, all we can tell you

is our name, rank, and serial number.

That's regulations, right?

Why don't you ask 'em if we're heading in the right direction?

Hey, Eddie, come over here.

I can't walk.

Oh, I forgot.

Hey, look, what's wrong with asking them?

Because they're the enemy, that's why.

You don't know 'em like I do. They can do mean things.

They look okay.

Well, they all look okay.

You never saw a nicer looking feller

than the one that told me he was dead.

So what could they do to us?

Hey, I got it.

Why don't we ask 'em which way to go

and then go the other way?

I don't think that'll work, Gomer.

Sure, that's thinkin', like Sergeant Carter said.

If I was to ask you fellers which way our rear area is,

which way would you say?

Straight that way.

Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me.

Come on, Eddie.

Hey, you're going the wrong way.

Sure we are. Much obliged, fellers.

What's the matter with that guy?

Combat fatigue.

Hey, you know what's ahead?

That bridge.

The one we're supposed to capture?

That's in the opposite direction.

Oh, boy, are we headed wrong!

Yeah.

Well, they outsmarted you again, Gomer.

They told you the right way.

They sure are tricky, these enemy fellers.

Mean's what they are.

What are we gonna do now?

Hey, there's nobody else around.

So, there's nobody else around. So what?

But it's my chance.

That's our mission, to capture that there bridge.

Why, we can even win the gold boot for our platoon.

Well, I never thought I'd have a chance

to make Sergeant Carter proud of me.

He's so anxious to win that gold boot and all.

Hey, Gomer, you better go and make sure there's no one else around.

Okay, we'll go take another look.

There's the enemy, see?

Yeah. Only one, looks like.

I'll sneak up from behind and jump him.

I wouldn't do that.

Well, I got to redeem myself. I got to do something.

What am I supposed to do?

Well,

you stay here, and when I get close enough, you distract him.

Uh, sing, kind of soft, like, uh,

Blue-Tail Fly.

I don't know Blue-Tail Fly.

I'll teach it to you.

♪ Jimmy crack corn, and I don't care... ♪

Gomer.

It's real easy to pick up.

Well, as long as I have to do this...

How about "You ain't nothing but a hound dog"?

Well, that should be pretty distracting.

You wait a minute or so, and then you start your song.

Okay. Be careful, Gomer.

Oh, I won't give him a chance to outsmart me.

I'll just jump him.

You do that.

♪ You ain't nothin' but a hound dog

♪ Cryin' all the time

♪ You ain't nothin' but a hound dog

♪ Cryin' all the time

♪ You ain't nothin' but a hound dog

♪ Cryin' all the time

♪ Well, you ain't never caught a rabbit

♪ And you ain't no friend of mine

♪ You ain't nothin' but a hound dog

♪ Cryin' all the time

♪ You ain't nothin' but a hound dog

♪ Cryin' all the time ♪

Hey, Sergeant.

I'm sorry. I thought you was the enemy.

I am, Pyle. I am.

A Marine is taught obedience to orders.

I'm sure sorry about that, Sergeant.

You're sorry?

You're sorry?

Pyle...

I started out with 10 men.

I lost two right off.

Then you started talking to that dead machine gunner,

and I lost five more.

Because I was short-handed, I lost three on the way here,

along with the stuff to blow up the bridge.

I was hoping I'd win a commendation

for this mission, Pyle.

I was hoping I'd win that gold boot.

Now what do you think I'll get?

Well, sir, you got me back, Sergeant.

Get out of here and take Peters with you.

Yes, sir.

No, wait.

My one chance is to get back

and get enough explosives to handle this bridge.

I'll take Peters back and get what I need.

You stay here and hold this position. Can you do that?

Yes, sir. I'm onto them enemy tricks now.

They won't get past Gomer Pyle.

You can be sure of that.

Once burned, twice remembered.

Pyle, you're here for one reason

and one reason only:

you don't let anyone across that bridge.

You understand?

I don't let anyone across that bridge.

Right.

Now, you're on guard.

I'm on guard.

And I approach you.

You approach me.

Why didn't you stop me?

Why, you're on my side.

I said don't let anyone. Understand?

Anyone.

All right.

Now, come on, Peters.

I can't walk, Sergeant. Oh.

Now, remember, you don't let anybody pass

unless they know the password.

Password?

Don't tell me, Pyle.

You forgot the password.

I got it right on the tip of my tongue.

It's some kind of a foreign name.

Quallah Battoo.

Quallah Battoo, a marine operation

against the Malay pirates in 1832.

You got it? Yes, sir.

Quallah Balloo.

Balla Quattoo?

Quallah Battoo. Quallah Battoo!

That's right, Quallah Battoo.

Quallah Battoo.

Now, they don't have the password, use the bayonet.

I sure wish I had some ropes and sapling trees.

Catch 'em good that way.

Ropes and sapling trees?

We used to catch rabbits back home like that.

Well, a Marine is not a rabbit.

Foxes, too, and a wild pig, and a bobcat...

Use the bayonet!

What's the password?

Uh... Quallah... Quallah...

Battoo. Battoo. I got it.

Quallah Battoo!

It's a secret password.

Don't announce it to the whole world!

Refresh my memory, Sergeant.

I thought your mission was to attack and destroy footbridge 471330.

Yes, sir, it was.

And since you were not to report back before completing your mission,

I can assume the bridge has been blown up? No, sir.

"No, sir," you're not reporting back?

"No, sir," the bridge has not been blown? "No, sir," what?

No, sir, the bridge is still there, sir.

Because you lost your demolition materials.

Wasn't that a bit careless of you?

Enemy action, sir.

And you also lost 9 of your 10 men.

No excuse, sir.

And you now propose to take more explosive

and start all over again.

We still hold the bridge, sir.

With one man?

Yes, sir.

Who was this Horatio you left at the bridge, Carter?

Private Gomer Pyle, sir.

Pyle, the man who walked right up

to an enemy machine gunner?

Yes, sir.

Pyle, the man who got half your squad knocked out?

Yes, sir.

Didn't that shake your confidence?

Well, I...

Sergeant Carter, have you any idea of the importance of blowing up this bridge?

Yes, sir. Strategically... Wrong!

Sir? The importance is this:

if your mission fails,

not only do you not get the gold boot,

but you and your entire platoon will be restricted

with no liberty for a week.

Do you read me, Sergeant?

Yes, sir. Carry on!

Aye, aye, sir.

Move it.

Halt. Who goes there?

Didn't you ever see these, Private?

Yes, sir, silver bars.

Real nice and shiny, too.

May I ask the Lieutenant where he's going?

I'm going across that bridge, Private.

I'm sorry, sir, but not without the password. Why the password?

You don't see an enemy armband here, do you?

Well, sir, you could've taken it off.

Not meaning to be personal, but the enemy's mighty tricky.

They do mean things.

You're right on your toes.

But why should I give you the password?

Them's my orders, sir.

What if you're an enemy in disguise?

I'd be passing on military information.

I'll have to study on that a while, sir.

You do that while I go across the bridge.

I wouldn't try to cross that bridge.

I'll take the chance, Private.

Get me down from here!

You see, sir? I tried to warn you.

Get me down from here! Get me down!

I will as soon as the umpire comes along and marks you.

Umpire?

Yeah, I don't know whether you're wounded or killed or captured.

Get me down!

Pyle.

Hey, Sergeant.

Hey, get me down!

Is that a lieutenant you got hanging in that tree?

Yes, sir. He didn't know the secret password,

that there Quallah Battoo.

Get me down from here. Get me down!

Yes, sir. Yes, sir.

Don't go over that way, Sergeant. Pyle, I'm gonna...

I'm sure sorry about that, Sergeant.

I tried to tell you.

Get us down out of here!

You see, back home, we use smaller sapling trees.

Why, a tree like that one there

would throw a rabbit clean to I don't know where.

Who cares about rabbits? Get us down!

Pyle, do you know what you can get for assaulting a lieutenant?

Well, I couldn't let him go out on that bridge, Sergeant.

Why, it ain't safe. You just watch.

Hey, get us down out of here.

I took out all the ropes holding the bridge to make my traps.

Pyle!

Good work, Private.

Tag that bridge as destroyed.

Yes, sir. It sure is.

Real jungle warfare.

You've got a good man under you, Sergeant.

Yes, sir. Thank you, sir.

Lieutenant, you were caught by opposing troops

while on a spy mission.

I'll have to tag you as "Executed in the field."

All right. All right, sir. Just get me out of here.

Okay, I'll see what I can do to cut you loose.

Look out, sir.

I set a lot of these traps.

I didn't know how many enemies there was gonna be.

Well, do something!

All right. In the meantime,

I can tell you how we caught old reddie fox back home.

You wouldn't believe it.

He was a lot harder to catch than a man.

What we done was, when he was hanging there...

Lord, he was a lot funnier than you guys.

He was hanging there just swinging away...

Sergeant Carter.

Yes, sir?

For gallantry, resourcefulness,

and exerting initiative in the highest traditions

of the Corps of the United States Marines,

your platoon has been awarded the gold boot,

the rotating trophy displayed by the finest platoon in this battalion.

Thank you, sir.

And, may I mention,

special credit should go to Private Gomer Pyle, sir.

Attention has been taken of the work of Private Pyle.

Thank you, sir.

Sergeant Carter, dismiss your squad.

Aye, aye, sir.

Squad dismissed!

Great, buddy. That was great. You got us out of here.

How'd you ever do it, Gome? How'd you do it?

Oh, there wasn't nothin' to it.

I just set out a whole bunch of these traps here.

Doggone, these things work good.

Quallah Battoo! Quallah Battoo!